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Tear In My Heart

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'Sometimes you gotta bleed to know
That you’re alive and have a soul
But it takes someone to come around
To show you how'

 

She’s the tear in my heart
I’m alive
She’s the tear in my heart
I’m on fire
She’s the tear in my heart
Take me higher
Than I’ve ever been'

 

- Twenty One Pilots, Tear In My Heart

 


 

 

There seemed to an indescribable feeling that coursed right through him as he stared out the large paned glass windows.

That’s right.

Boredom.

He let loose another heavy sigh as the voices that blurred behind him began to come into focus. He honestly didn’t care much, but knowing his future responsibilities and what he would be doing in his later life he knew he would ultimately have to attend the party that was happening. But for now, he would enjoy the cool quiet night and the full moon that made him wish he could just fly away.

No sooner did he think this did the door to his bedroom open. He sighed heavily as the voice of his mother filtered through the fog of his daydreaming. “Darling, you know you’re supposed to be downstairs.”

“Do I really?”

“Juuse. A future Queen does not use such a tone of voice like this. Only if needed, but otherwise…”

“It should be light, sweet, and nothing but full of grace and clarity. I know,” Juuse deadpanned, mimicking his mother and all of his tutor's quote.

His mother gave a soft sigh before coming over to sit beside him by his favorite spot looking out the window, “You know I only do this to prepare you. I know it doesn’t seem very much fun or likable in any way, but these are the duties that we must take on in order to take care of the kingdom and the people properly. I know this all doesn’t seem very fair or right, but later you will see. You will understand.”

“And yet I’m being forced to go downstairs and attend a party that has nothing to deal with socializing. I’m not ready to marry anyone mother and all of the other princes are...boring! They’re so very stuck up and do nothing but look down upon everyone!” He huffed in frustration.

“Why can’t I just rule the kingdom alone?”

“Because every Queen needs a King to help guide us. Did you know I didn’t really care much for your father when we first meet?”

Juuse looked to his mother curiously as she spoke, “Really?”

“Yes really, but do you know why I married him?”

Juuse shook his head for this was a story that his mother had never spoken to him about before, “Because he did something that no other prince had done. He saw me for me. He didn’t look and see me as the future Queen or the recognition he would attain from marrying me, no, he spoke to me as a friend. We didn’t marry right away as many thought we did. We got to know each other and were friends before we became anything romantic to one another. Because despite what you may think, I felt the very same as you did. Why should I, the future Queen, need anyone when I will ultimately have to rule the kingdom on my own? But then I met your father. It changed after that. As I had said, I know this all seems so pointless, but I promise you, you will understand when you find that spark within yourself. It just takes a bit of time and patience.”

He gave another sigh before turning to hug his mother. “Alright. I just hate the way everyone looks at me.”

“I understand more than you know. Now then, let’s get you cleaned up and let’s go join everyone downstairs. Even if you don’t speak to anyone I just want you to make an appearance.”

Juuse nodded after giving another sigh and soon he was down in the ballroom in his best royal suit. He’d much rather be wearing his dresses, but for minor parties, they wished for him to wear his suits. The bigger events they wanted him to wear whatever he liked, which he went over the top when it came to those parties, but these type of social gatherings were some he’d prefer to do without.

Just as he suspected he was walking around with a glass of white wine in his hand as he tried to keep his boredom at bay when the prince from the south, The Prince of Black Clubs approach him and he internally groaned as he hid his grimace behind his glass. “Hello, dear prince, and how are you on this fine evening?”

“I was doing completely fine until you walked up to speak to me.”

“Oh come now why must you be so cruel? Every time you’re always so cruel to me.”

“Since the day you refused to help that child after falling to the ground.”

“The mother was nearby!”

“She was not! I went over and helped the child and then went to fetch his mother. You were too busy staring off after the Princess of Weld.”

The prince gave a mock gasp which just caused Juuse to roll his eyes as he went to turn away. “I would never! You know you are much more important to me. If you would just let me show you…” The Prince began to grab for Juuse’s wrist making him jerk at the sudden touch.

“No. I said no. Do not make a scene.”

“Or what? You need to learn your place as the future Queen and…” The Prince’s words were cut off as he was physically ripped away from Juuse.

“I believe your majesty has advised you to leave. I would be on your way before I make a scene.”

“You lowly knight, I should have your head for this.”

“I’m sure you would take great pleasure in such an act, but I will assume that the prince here will say otherwise.”

Juuse raised an eyebrow as a challenge before he watched the other prince huff and stomp away. “You will be mine. Don’t you forget that.”

Juuse shook his head before looking up to thank the man who had helped him only to have his breath caught in his throat at the gorgeous sight before him. The man wore all white besides the black diamonds that covered his suit of armor. He was tall with hair that looked like the shimmering gold in a wheat field and eyes that looked like the whistling ocean on a stormy day. The man smiled softly as he bowed before him.

“I do apologize for interrupting your majesty, but I saw that you may have been in distress so I came over to assist you. I hope I was not in the wrong.” The man’s voice shook him to his core, deep and full of power. He wanted to sleep to that voice whispering to him through the night.

He was gaping like a fish and finally was able to pull himself together enough in order to speak, “Yes! I mean yes good sir, you saw correctly. I thank you for your service. You did not have to assist me.”

“But I wanted too. I know my duty is to my Queen and King and the royal family, but my duty is also to all of the royal families of Wonderland as well.”

This man took his breath away once again as he tried to figure out how to speak, “What is your name? That is, so I may thank you properly.” He blushed at how ridiculous he sounded and wished he had been more prepared for this.

The man seemed to blush slightly as well as he smiled back at him, he was just so tall, “My name is Sir Rinne. I am the Defender of the Knights of the Black Diamond Kingdom.”

“Not captain?” Juuse hadn’t meant to come off as teasing, but it came out anyways.

The man chuckled, “No no not captain. I could never truly be captain. I’m much happier being the leader of the defenders. We maintain a watchful eye on the royal family as they travel Wonderland. My duty is solely to the royal family.”

“Oh, my apologies I’m keeping you from your duties then.”

“No no, not at all. The family is actually speaking with your mother I believe. I’ve been able to sense where they are the whole time.”

“Really? That is incredible! How does that work?”

“Years of training and practice. It’s an art that I like to believe I’ve perfected, but I’m getting much older, I’m not as young as I once was so many years ago.”

“I doubt that entirely. I do believe you are quite extraordinary and I do not see any age at all. Quite handsome actually,” and Juuse wished he could have someone drag him into a black hole. He hadn’t meant to say any of this, but this man just made him want to spill every secret he held dear to his heart. Luckily he didn’t make a complete fool of himself as he watched the older man blush a deep red creeping up over his high collar.

He cleared his throat before he spoke again, “Well I thank you kindly. Your words are very encouraging to me your majesty. Now then, I’m afraid I do sense the royal families conversation coming to an end. I shall leave you now, but if you should need me just come find me. I am at your service.” He bent down once again going to grab for Juuse’s hand, which he offered up limply. A soft gasp escaped him as the knight gave the top of his knuckles a feather-light kiss, a zing of spark zipped right through him making him blush before the man stood back up.

The knight gave him another smile before turning away, but before he did he stopped him in his tracks. The hand wrapped around his wrist made the man look at him in slight shock before Juuse could finally use his mouth again, “Juuse, please call me Juuse. That is if we ever get to speak alone again.” Juuse felt like he had just made a complete mess of everything before the knight turned back to him and pulled his hand from his wrist into his own. He closed his hand around his as he marveled at how large the knight’s hand was wrapped around his own. That same sensation of a zap whizzed between them and he could see that maybe, just maybe the knight felt it as well, or maybe the lights were playing tricks over his eyes.

“Thank you, I will do my best to remember that the next we meet, Juuse.” Juuse could feel his heart nearly leaping out of his chest as the knight gave his hand a final squeeze and then let go, turning to rejoin the royal family of black diamonds in the back corner.

Juuse felt like he couldn’t breathe and had to leave the room in order to get some fresh air. As he walked out onto the balcony, looking out onto the kingdom, and the dark sky with the full moon shining down upon him he thought that maybe, just maybe falling in love wouldn’t be so difficult after all.

 

To Be Continued...