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Deadpool Times Two

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Soon after Derek and Stiles met Deadpool, Stiles made a plan and dragged Derek into it because that’s just how they rolled. Stiles was the mastermind that got them into and out of trouble, Derek was the calm before the storm who made sure they all stayed safe during Stiles’s shenanigans.

Wade Wilson was annoying but at the same time he was compelling as well. Being who he was, Stiles wanted to make him think or pause and he hoped this Halloween plan would do just that.

Dressing up for Halloween was a Stilinski-Hale tradition that goes back to Stiles’s childhood and apparently Derek had loved it once upon a time. Stiles, after learning that little tidbit about his sweet husband did everything in his power to make sure Derek could have fun again but it got so much better when they had Claudia.

She’s been dressed up in all manner of costumes, even an X-Man costume, long before they ever knew she was going to end up going to the X-Mansion. Stiles gave her a copy of that picture with a little text box at the bottom that said ‘Irony at its Finest’ about a year after she went there and Claudia understood for real that they weren’t sending her away because they didn’t love her.

One of the things they did was make sure that Claudia was with them for Halloween. The first year took some work, calling ahead and telling the teachers what Stiles was planning to do so there would be a couple rooms they could ‘trick or treat’ from and a couple of the other kids even joined them sans costumes. The next year, there was even more support for the event but it was still largely planned by Stiles and then facilitated by the staff.

This next Halloween was going to be the best he’d ever planned. It was going to be epic but to get the bad ass level of awesome he needed his husband’s mad skills and possibly some magic because seriously, how did Wade wiggle into that red condom of his every time he went out?

That’s the plan, going to dress up as Wade Wilson slash Deadpool and then he was going to invite Wade to the Halloween get together. And they only had a couple of months before Halloween.

“Why do you even care about this guy?” Derek asked as they settled into the craft room (yes they have a craft room because they are nerdy dads who enjoy doing projects with their children, don’t judge).

“Because he annoyed my baby girl and it would just be fun to see what happened if I shocked him.”

Derek frowned, “Are you doing this because you don’t want him to be more annoying than you?”

Stiles gasped in mock outrage, “I’m not annoying. How dare you!”

Derek chuckled and they started gathering all the tools they would need. Stiles was hoping to use leather but they were probably going to go with a faux fabric instead. They would have to do what they could with what they had, Stiles was more concerned about the buckles, belts and swords. He wasn’t planning on being actually armed but the swords were going to be very close to actual swords. The mansion wasn’t going to worry about him being armed mostly because they were all way more bad ass than him with swords. Though his powers definitely gave him a leg up.

They figured out the Deadpool costume and then put together costumes for Ana, Matteo and Ralston. Derek was going in wolf form; it wouldn’t going to be a surprise but Stiles had a classic Beast costume for if he wanted to shift back. Derek had been at the mansion in full shift but this was the first time he was actually playing Big Bad Wolf to Ana’s Little Red Riding Hood. Matteo decided on dressing up as Colossus which consisted of the costume and a lot of silver paste. Derek and Stiles were basically going to end up spending an hour before they left slathering him with the stuff. Claudia was probably going to dress up in her X-Men costume, she did that a lot so Stiles stopped planning costumes for her, plus around the age of ten she would just strip down to her panties rather than be in a costume she didn’t like. Ralston was going to be the cutest werewolf ever, Stiles was going to be putting on werewolf makeup and everything because despite the fact that he was able to shift; he couldn’t do a half shift and there was no reason to tell the world that he was a werewolf when he was so innocent. Derek, it didn’t matter, but Ralston was a little boy and this was a weird world that didn’t think werewolves were a thing and if they did then there were already thousands of reasons to believe that they weren’t going to take if very well. The only reason Derek was going as a wolf was because he didn’t care and between Stiles and Claudia and Derek, he wasn’t going to be hurt.

Plus they could pretend he was their wolf hybrid pet and Derek was planning on coming to the party later.

When the time came and everyone was dressed, Stiles used a bit of power to change his voice and face before he put on the mask. He was still Stiles obviously but for the next hour or two, he would sound like Wade and his skin would be burned like Wade’s skin. Derek rolled his eyes and turned away to add some finishing touches to their son’s silver skin and uniform. When they were ready, Derek stripped out of his clothes and let Stiles rough up his fur and put a little bit of fake blood around Derek’s snout. Wolf Derek leaned in closer to Stiles and licked the side of his face.

Stiles grinned, “Are you ready to kick all the butts with our costumes?”

Derek humphed in agreement while the children cheered.

Stiles snapped his fingers and opened a Portal with a flourish, pulled down the mask and they all stepped through the Portal and landed in the entry way of the Mansion. The Portal closed behind them without fail and Stiles and Derek looked around, counting children. All were accounted for.

“Deadpool, I thought you weren’t coming until later?” someone asked and Stiles turned around. It was one of the other professors and Stiles didn’t really know his name.

“I came over earlier than planned,” Stiles responded in Wade’s voice, “Brought some of my friends with me.”

“Is that a wolf?”

“Part of the Little Red Riding Hood costume of course, fake blood. That’s our Wolf Hybrid.”

The guy nodded and walked away saying in parting, “Have fun, I think most of the rooms are already prepped for the Halloween party.” Stiles gave him a jaunty salute before they turned and walked upstairs to where Claudia’s room was located. Ralston was howling like a werewolf and the twins were making a general excited ruckus so when her door opened and she looked at them with her fond yet exasperated expression, Stiles smiled under the mask.

“Tata, Daddy what are you doing looking like that?” she whispered, looking around before she ushered the small mob into her bedroom. Yukio was sitting on the bed, she waved at them.

“Is that your father or really Wade?” she asked.

Claudia rolled her eyes, “Its my Tata, apparently he thinks he’s funny dressing up like Wade.”

“Hey,” Stiles said pointing at each of them, “I’m hilarious.”

“Whoa, Tata you made yourself sound like him too!” Claudia asked, sounding a little more impressed than she had before. Stiles took off his mask and showed them his skin and the girls ooed and aaahed about it for a moment.

“Are you girls going to dress up?” Stiles asked.

Claudia shook her head while Yukio nodded and Stiles grinned. Yukio was so good for their daughter, a bright spot when she was determined to live under a dark cloud constantly.

Stiles put his mask back on and pointed towards the door, “We’re going to take the other kids trick or treating, come find us whenever. Okay?”

Claudia nodded, Yukio grinned and gave a happy wave while they left. Stiles and Wolf Daddy took them around to all the classrooms and let people ogle the kids’ costumes and marvel at Derek’s well-behaved nature and wonder whether Stiles was Deadpool or not. He was keeping track, almost everyone just assumed he was Wade but then the kids confused them.

They found a couple of the other younger students playing in one of the rooms under the watchful eyes of some of the older kids and so Stiles and Derek left the twins to spend some time with friends they have made in recent times. Ralston stayed with Derek and Stiles and they found a bathroom where Derek could return to human form and get dressed. Ralston was happily making grumble growling noise which Derek returned before they walked back out and joined the adults party for a little while.

Claudia and Yukio were there with some of their friends, laughing and having a good time. Stiles and Derek nodded to her but left her to her friends for now.

Then about an hour later, Wade in his Deadpool outfit walked in with a couple of people and he honed in on Stiles immediately. “Hey, who is that? Only I’m allowed to wear this outfit!”

Stiles responded cheekily, “Did you write that down on the inside of your costume somewhere?”

“What the ass?” Wade asked, realizing that they both sounded like him.

Ralston looked between them from Derek’s arms, screwing up his face in confusion so Stiles touched his chest then his nose, reminded the little werewolf to use his other senses. To remember that Tata was always Tata no matter what he looked like or sounded like.

Ralston sniffed a little then pressed his face into Derek’s neck. Derek coughed a little, “Stiles is this really worth scaring your son?”

Stiles looked over at Wade who was coming over to them, looking weirdly agitated and in response Claudia came over from what she was doing to get between Wade and her father. She held out a hand, letting a spark of her power rest there as she snapped, “It’s my Tata, being funny. Calm down, you weirdo!”

Wade stopped and looked over at Stiles again and he calmed down instantly, “You made my costume, like it’s exactly the same. How did you do it?”

Stiles shrugged, “Good memory recall and a sewing machine.”

Derek snorted.

“But you sound like me, how’d you do that?”

Stiles gave a flourish with his hand, “Magic.”

Wade nodded, “Sorry about the weirdness, we had some issues a while back about someone who was dressed up as me and killing people that I wouldn’t want to kill.”

Stiles winced, “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s very good,” Wade responded. Stiles cancelled the spell that was making him look and sound like Wade and took off the mask. Ralston, seeing his Tata squealed excitedly and accidentally flashed his eyes.

Stiles took his son from his husband’s arms, hoping no one saw the slip. He looked back at Wade who also removed his head piece and clearly didn’t miss the slip.

“You have a very interesting family, Mr. Negasonic Teenage Warhead’s Dad.”

“Stiles,” he said, frowning.

“I’ve heard it both ways,” Wade responded and Stiles laughed.

“Only because you said it.”

“So you dressed up as me and your little one there is clearly a werewolf, don’t you have other children as well?”

Derek nodded, “The twins, they was dressed as Little Red Riding Hood and Colossus. Claudia is dressed as herself which is bad ass enough.” Claudia gave her father a special annoyed look that was patented just for them while Wade looked around.

“I have got to see a little Colossus, where are they?”

Stiles waved Claudia off since Wade was apparently not going to hurt anyone and answered, “They are spending some time with the other children. We kept Ralston with us because he doesn’t like being on his own a lot.”

“I’m getting Colossus and we are going to see this Mini Him right now.”

Stiles rolled his eyes and sighed, “Fine, kids party is probably more fun anyway.”

“You mean it has candy,” Derek responded with a grin.

“Well yeah,” Stiles said and they all walked out of the room, waving at Claudia and Yukio on the way out. Claudia waved them off with that little smile that she saved for her fathers’ leaving Stiles with that warmth in his belly that let him know that no matter how annoying and just stupid he was as a father sometimes, they still loved him and he was doing something right.

Wade and Stiles spent the next hour talking about how Stiles could make the Deadpool costume a thousand times better, especially with the help of his magic and Wade asking a hundred questions about that magic only for Stiles to ignore him and change the subject.

Ralston demanded to be held by is Tata about halfway through the explanation and Derek was able to sit and play with Ana and Matteo who were joking and laughing about their family ‘wolf hybrid’ while Derek shook his head at them.

Stiles wasn’t worried, Derek was with them, they were all used to telling tall tales about the family and not letting people hear the truths that were hidden in the lies.

Ralston decided when they were leaving, he started rubbing his eyes and screwing up the makeup, whining more frequently so Stiles nudged Derek’s shoulder and nodded.

“Time to go, you two,” Derek said to the twins and they got up even though there was a little grumbling. Stiles agreed to send Wade some upgrades for his costume if the man was nice to Claudia to which the ‘super hero’ gasped, “How dare you!”

Stiles winked, opened a Portal and took his family out of the Mansion and back home. they put all the candy and toys they got from trick or treating in the kitchen, cleaned off makeup and getting into bed. Stiles and Derek climbed into bed with Ralston between them, since he was being clingy tonight.

“You are going to have to stop it with Wade, there isn’t any reason for you to get all weird about him,” Derek whispered over Ralston, pressing a hand to the side of Stiles’s face.

“I can’t help it, he’s like my sarcastic mirror and for some reason I want to win or something.”

“It’s stupid, you know that right?” Derek responded, nudging Stiles’s chin with his knuckles.

Stiles nodded, “I am well aware of my idiocy, thanks.”

“I love you though,” Derek responded fondly.

“That’s good because it’s not the last time I am going to be stupid.”

“Well I’m going to make mistakes too so when that happens, you are still going to love me so I don’t see why this shouldn’t be like a two-way street.”

“Such a romantic,” Stiles snickered.

Derek winked so Stiles got up so he could lean over Ralston and press a lingering kiss to Derek’s lips while the toddler pushed him then pulled him, unsure of what was happening and how he could get the attention back on himself.

Stiles resettled, kissing Ralston on the head, “You know I wouldn’t mind another one of these.”

Derek rolled his eyes, “I’m pretty sure Cora is done giving us children.”

Stiles shrugged, “That’s true but that wasn’t a no.”

“Let’s talk about it some other time, when we aren’t hopped up on candy and the Halloween cheer. I know what that does to you.”

Stiles laughed, cuddling a little closer to Ralston, knowing that Derek would make sure he was transferred to his crib in a little while. Derek was so aware of the children that they had been able to sleep with their kids from Claudia’s infancy.

At least after all this time and multiple kids, Derek wasn’t as hyper vigilant anymore. Stiles could let himself fall asleep knowing that his family was safe and that Derek wasn’t going to stay awake all night anymore counting heartbeats and breaths.

“Love you Der,” Stiles murmured, “Happy National Cosplay and Candy day.”

Derek snorted, “Goodnight Stiles, I love you.”