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Letter 2 U

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The group was about to make a comeback. They were rehearsing like crazy just to provide the best performances to their fans. The only problem was that apart from being exhausted with all the musical and dance practices, Got7 now had to deal with a stalker, who seemed to be more interested in seeing some Markjin and Markson action than rooting for the boys’ success.

“What the hell are you talking about?” the leader fumed, walking in circles around the room.

“We are a group, and we will solve things as a group, like we always do.” Jinyoung replied calmly, trying to appease Jaebum’s anger.

“It’s the ninth letter we’ve received this week and it’s getting creeper an creeper.” Youngjae whispered quietly, with a tingle of fear in his voice. The tension amongst the 7 idols grew within each second.

“We still don’t know how the letters are able to reach us. There must be someone in the staff working with them, or maybe some staff member is playing a prank on us.” Bambam suggested loud enough for everyone to hear and consider the possibility of a joke. Yet, no one entertained the idea anymore, not after a week has passed, and the letters kept coming.

“We cannot call the police nor tell anyone in JYP about them. This anonymous sasaeng made that pretty clear in the second letter. So let’s just wait to see what’s the psycho’s next move. There’s nothing we can do right now.” Yugyeom tried to sound as reasonable as he could, but nothing could wash away the worry etched on his hyungs faces.

“Listen, I’ll take full responsibility for this if I have to. I will not endanger Got7’s future because of a mistake that I’ve made. So, I’m ready to leave the group if that’s what’s required of me.” Jackson finally spoke, professionally as ever, his words were firm, but they didn’t deny the sadness behind them. Suddenly everyone in the room turned to him and shook their heads, Jaebeom paused his movements, but it was the oldest, who voiced his thoughts first.

“No! Don’t even fucking start this shit! It’s 7 or never, you said so yourself, remember?! No one is allowed to break this bond we have built for five years! No one! Not even you, Wang Jia Er. Don’t even think about it! I swear that if I ever hear you mention that again, I will never, ever forgive you!” Mark retorted loudly, on the verge of crying. Everyone could anticipate the sobs that threatened to swallow his tirade. Mark looked just too vulnerable with his long arms slightly crossed around his slim chest. He was on the verge of a breakdown, the six of them were trying to hold the fort, yet, Mark was probably the one who was not strong enough to put up with that situation. Jackson knew that, the other members sensed that, and even Mark himself was aware of his emotional fragility. Allowing his thin form to rest against the cold and hard wall of the practice room, the American felt defeated. He quietly covered his face with his hands and when his boyfriend tried to reach for him, he avoided his touch. Jackson sighed, feeling concerned and impotent.

“No one is going anywhere! Quitting won’t fix anything. Everyone in this room signed a contract and I hope you all stand by it! And I’m not talking about the piece of paper that bounds us to JYP, but a silent deal we all live by since we debuted, we are a fucking family and we don’t abandon our own, we stay together as brothers. We’ll not let a freakin’ psycho get between us. No way!” the leader spoke quickly, his tone unbending. He glanced shortly at Mark to confirm that his tears didn’t start to pour. He could not deal with a weeping Mark right now. His eyes then turned to Jackson, who couldn’t hide his dejected expression anymore after his lover’s speech.

“It was just a kiss. We can say the photo was a fake, you know Photoshopped. The fans fantasize about this stuff every single day, there are thousands of fanworks which look worse than that spread all over the Internet. The ‘Markson thing’ has been around for a quite a while. But no one actually believe that they are gay.” Bambam sounded optimistic, but it wasn’t enough to make his comrades sigh with relief.

“Look, the letter is not clear about what this person wants. It’s certainly a shipper who just thinks it’s nice to see us affectionate in front of the cameras. We can do that, in fact, we already do. It’s not a big deal. The 7 of us know the picture taken in LA is very real and that it was also a vividly French kiss. They have solid proof of what’s indeed going on between the Markson couple. It’s too risky to just ignore it. I recommend we do as they say for now.” a pensive Jinyoung advised with care. He was elegantly sitting on the wood floor with his legs crossed and both hands resting on one of his knees. He didn’t dare to steal a glance at his eldest Hyung, he knew he would probably lose his composure, run to Mark, and give him a bear hug. However, he understood that Mark needed his space since he saw how he slapped Jackson’s hands away when the Chinese tried to comfort him.

“Nonsense! We will not succumb to blackmailing. You might enjoy the idea of flirting with my boyfriend to please some stranger, but I don’t! We will not play this Markjin versus Markson game. This is never gonna happen!” Jackson frowned irritated and unable to control his anger anymore, he kicked a chair so hard that it ended up crashing into the glass door next to Youngjae’s head. He immediately regretted it as he saw the surprise on his dongsaeng’s features and the confused look of the other members. The glass door shattered in dozens of little pieces but luckily, none of them hurt the singer who stayed motionless and speechless. The room stayed still for a while, but soon a shocked Jaebum was the first to run to Youngjae’s side. He touched his dongsaeng from head to toe in order to check if he was hurt. He couldn’t help but give Jackson a dirty look. A flabbergasted Mark and the others also went to check if Youngjae had any wounds, but a guilty Jackson just walked away from them, leaving through the other door silently. When Yugyeom noticed he had left, he asked the others if someone should go after him.

“Nah! He will come back, let him cool down a bit. The last thing we need is a hotheaded Jackson Wang now. Anyone who follows him in that state might end up murdered. Leave him be.” Jinyoung suggested calmly. He knew that if Youngjae had really gotten hurt, Jackson would have to answer to JB and that would cause another conflict within the band. Surely, they didn’t need more problems.
“I’m so sorry Jae, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. This situation is just getting to him. Believe me, he feels as bad as everyone here for what he did.” Mark sounded apologetic, but he could feel Jaebum’s anger beside him. For the leader, it was clear that a simple apology wouldn’t do. However, Youngjae quickly recovered from the shock and told them that he had no reason to hold a grudge against the Chinese man. He noticed had noticed Jaebum’s huffy expression and tried to smooth things over as best as he could.

“It’s okay, really. We’re under a lot of pressure, especially both of you, Mark Hyung. You guys were overseas on vacation, happy and in love doing your thing. Who would’ve thought someone would recognize both of you, Kpop idols in a gay LA bar? And worse, take an intimate picture just to harass us with it later? You were in your home country celebrating your 3 years anniversary together, and probably imagined that there was nothing to worry about. After all, it was America, land of the free, right? You guys felt safe, away from the judging eyes of our conservative Korea, so why hide your feelings in there? Jackson hyung is entitled to his aggravation. I’m fine, it was just an accident! He did not intend to hurt me, nor anyone in this room. We are all brothers and we’ll keep supporting each other no matter what.” the singer said, smiling tentatively. Mark looked quite touched by his sympathetic speech, but the moment didn’t last long when JB voiced his discontentment.

“You might wanna sugarcoat it as you want, but I’m gonna make damn sure he apologizes to you and pays JYP for the goddamn door! His relationship with Mark is the main reason we are in this shitty situation anyway! Being in love might be a beautiful thing as long as it does not affect your professional life. He promised me he would be careful! But I guess Tuan here must’ve been irresistible at the time.” Jaebum retorted sourly, dropping the honorifics and sending a death glare to the eldest. Mark looked away embarrassed, unable to hold his gaze. Since Jackson and the American started dating, the elder was the one who tried his best to tone it down their clingy behavior in public, especially behind the cameras. He fought to keep Jackson at bay, to avoid problems like the one they were facing at that moment. He even worked hard to make the Markjin shipping even more popular than the Markson one. Fans speculated that some strain in their friendship might’ve put some distance between the pair. The constantly skinship with Jinyoung in front of the cameras was just a decoy, Jackson seemed okay with it, because he understood his lover’s intent, and his plan worked pretty well, up till now.
“Guys, let’s not fight between ourselves. Let’s just go to the dorm and figure things out. We are all tired and upset about everything that’s been going on. We’re gonna need some sleep to digest all this.” Bambam’s suggestion seemed reasonable and they all agreed to call it a night and return to the dorm.

They all went to bed, but Mark. He waited for Jackson’s return. He was extremely worried about the brunette. So he sat at the couch in the living room and fought with the drowsiness that was threatening to overcome him. When he suddenly heard someone’s footsteps approach him, he swiftly stood up, obviously startled with another presence in the room.
“Don’t be afraid, it’s just me.” Jackson turned on the lights and spoke soflty, assuring his lover that he was safe and sound. Mark sighed in relief and threw his arms around Jackson. Finally, the Chinese was able to hold his boyfriend and appease his heavy heart. Both stayed like that for a while, just enjoying each other’s warmth. Then, Mark let him go, gave him a peck on his cheek and looked firmly into his lover’s eyes.

“Gaga, you here! Look, Youngjae is okay. But I don’t wanna see you lose your head like that again. You got us all worried. You worry me still. JB was not very forgiving after you left.” Mark warned, lovingly holding Jackson’s hands to his face.
“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll talk to them later tomorrow. But I need you to listen to me, there’s something I didn’t tell the others, but I need to let it out. Promise me you won’t freak out, okay?” Jackson said as his lover noticed his lips trembling a bit. Mark eyed him with a mixture of concern and dread washed over him.

“Whatever it is, tell me.” he braced himself for what he was about to hear.

“When I’ve arrived just now, the front door was slightly open and there was a note for you. But I know it was addressed to me. It said, you only have less than four hours to get it done. Good night sweet prince, I am anxiously waiting for a Markjin good night kiss.”

“Excuse me?! This freak has the code of our fucking door lock? They were just here watching me on the couch?! What about this deadline shit and, did it say Markjin kiss?” Mark seemed confused, extremely upset, but impatient. He fought to keep his voice down, since the others were already sleeping. Jackson urged him to just let him talk and he brought the American to sit on the couch with him.

“The six of you have been thinking that this weirdo just wanna see more platonic interaction between you, me and Jinyoung. But you guys only got to read part of their latest letter. There’s more, baby, so much more. You know, the photo they’ve taken from our kiss at that bar, they want you and Jinyoung to do the same, take a picture and send it to a certain address. You guys had about 24 hours to deliver what’s demanded from you, or I would be forced leave the band. It also said that if we do not choose any of these options, the photo will be released to the press. I’m sorry for not telling you this. That’s why I said what I said at practice today. I don’t want you and Jinyoung to be in that kind of situation, it’s ludicrous! But I know I’m not ready to leave Got7! So, what should we do Mark?” he looked at his lover eyes hoping to be forgiven and understood. After Mark quietly listened to Jackson, several feelings battled inside him. Mark looked disappointed, angry, scared, but after a long moment of pondering and silence, he just eyed Jackson quizzically.

“Wait, the last letter said 24 hours! Why do we only have four?” Mark feared his lover had not confessed everything he had hidden from the group.

“I had the letter since yesterday. I just didn’t wanna show you guys. I couldn’t! I don’t want to see my boyfriend kissing another guy, let alone the prince actor material Jinyoung!” he whined like a kid, as Mark shook his head in desperation and disbelief. He had to be the adult now and take action quickly.

“Do you have the address?” Mark asked coldly, his apparent fragility gone. He stood up and turned his back from Jackson.
“Yes, here it is. Am I forgiven, baby? What’s on your mind?” he handed the piece of paper to the elder with the rest of the letter he had hidden and also the note that was left in their doorstep that night. Mark didn’t answer him, just quickly turned to his lover to take the piece of paper from his hand.

“Go get Jinyoung and just him! I don’t want the others to see this. Believe me, this is gonna hurt me more than you. We know that whoever sent the letters will notice if we fake that kiss. So we’re gonna do it for real. Right now!” his irritation wasn’t only in his voice, his gestures were all over the place. Jackson was petrified with the commanding tone of his lover, he couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“If you think I’ll let Jinyoung get anywhere near your lips Mark, you’re…” Before Jackson could finish his sentence Mark briskly cut him off.

“Then wake JB up if that’s easier for you! Tell him, the scandal we’ll face will tear this band apart, because fucking Korea won’t accept a band with two gay members who love each other. Also tell him that all the other members he cares so much will be ostracized, shun away from any public appearances. Tell Bam, Youngjae, Yugyeom and Jinyoungie that their Kpop dream is fucking over, because you are a jealous bastard unable to clean up your own shit!” Mark was mad, and Jackson didn’t know how to handle his lover’s fury.

“I will not sacrifice our bond over this. Mark, there’s gotta be another way!” he insisted, not ready to see his boyfriend lock lips with another man.

“By the way, just for the record, after Got7 is finished, you and I will be finished too.” Mark retorted, looking away from Jackson. With that, the Chinese just stood up and disappeared into the dark corridor which lead to the others members bedrooms, and after a few minutes he came back to the room joined by a sleepy Jinyoung at his side.

“Tell me this is a prank! What’s with all the secrecy? Do you guys know what time it is? We should all be in bed!” Jinyoung whispered loud enough for both of his Hyungs to hear. – he still looked tired, his disheveled hair and his pajamas gave him a cute and innocent look. Mark sighed deeply and for a moment his determination faltered. There was a time his relationship with Jinyoung almost crossed the boundaries of friendship and became something more. A few years after they debuted, Jinyoung had confessed to him, but Mark couldn’t accept his feelings, since Jackson and him were already an item. At the time, Mark felt bad for rejecting Jinyoung’s feelings, but he was certain of his undying love for the Chinese rapper. Jinyoung didn’t want his relationship with Mark to become awkward, so after a couple of weeks he told the American he was just confused and he wished the best for the MArkSon couple with a smile on his face. They never again talked about that afternoon they ate ice cream at a playground and decided to just stay friends. Now he wished he could erase that chapter of his life he swiftly shared with Jinyoung.

“You didn’t explain to him?!” Mark exclaimed, horrified by the idea of being the one to tell Jinyoung they had to kiss passionately whether they wanted it or not. He wasn’t so sure if he could do it, with Jackson right there watching them, but someone had to take the photo.

“I did, but he didn’t believe me. I myself am having a hard time wrapping my head around it.” Jackson answered darkly, holding a camera with both his hands.

“Are you for real, Mark? Am I gonna survive this? Cause I don’t wanna be smashed by a chair when we are done.” Jinyoung’s voice carried an unusual edge. He wasn’t really afraid of Jackson’s possessiveness towards Mark. The docile American was the one who terrified him.

“I’m sure you are aware of the circumstances. Let’s just be professional about that. You want Jackson out of Got7, a scandal or a kiss that we both know won’t mean a thing?!” Mark didn’t want to look the younger in the eye. He knew he was being too harsh and that Jinyoung didn’t deserve his anger. He always wondered if Jinyoung still had feelings for him and though he knew Jinyoung was a brilliant actor, sometimes, just sometimes, he witnessed how the younger’s eyes seemed to linger on him with some sort of emotion unknown to Mark. His dongsaeng’s overprotective character sometimes was also too overwhelming. The way the boy looked cornered and nervous right now, was really giving him away.

“It’s not the end of the world, okay, but your boyfriend is right here!” he gave Jackson a helpless look as he pointed to him. The singer was like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Enough of this discussion! Stop being a prude, you asshole. Do you want me to beg you to kiss my boyfriend?! Do you think I enjoy the position we’re in? Of course not, but we don’t have time to think of another solution. Do you feel that uncomfortable?! Let me show you how it’s done then! Keep your eyes open, you don’t wanna miss a second of it.” Jackson’s actions surprised both Mark and Jinyoung. The Chinese threw the camera at the couch and decided to put on a show for Jinyoung. The younger had to see whom Mark belonged to and Jackson did it as possessively as he could. He quickly went to his lover and without a warning, he grabbed Mark by the waist with one hand and his face with the other. As shy as he was due Jinyoung’s presence, Mark sloppily tried to avoid Jackson’s lips, but he failed miserably. The eldest had no choice but melt into it. Mark accepted his boyfriend’s demanding kiss, and Jackson made sure to bring his bodies extremely close, to the point they were almost grinding at each other. Jackson deepened the kiss, frenching his boyfriend turned into a make out scene with an audience. His mouth devoured Mark’s uncontrollably, the eldest couldn’t help but moan into the kiss as Jackson roughly shoved his tongue and teeth in his mouth, bruising his skin. Both their faces were already wet with saliva, but Jackson decided to get more creative. His hand wandered all over Mark’s backside and he licked every inch of Mark’s face leaving butterfly kisses on his forehead. When Mark thought the lesson was over, Jackson roughly pulled his hair back and moved his head to the side, to have more access to his neck and collarbone. Jackson randomly chose a spot right above Mark’s shoulder and savagely bit him there. Mark unconsciously tried to get him off him, but Jackson mercilessly kept doing what he felt that he had to in order to mark his territory. Mark tried his best not to scream in pain, but Jackson seemed determined to draw blood. He started squirming and begging Jackson to stop, yet his was unable to disentangle himself from the muscular boy’s arms. The American’s expression brought concern to Jinyoung’s eyes. Therefore, he decided to play his part.

“Are you done yet? Or should I leave you guys a moment alone?” the singer interrupted the two, looking as composed as he could in a situation like that. Jackson seemed to be brought back to his senses and finally let go of Mark’s neck. But he held his eyes for a moment.

“Remember who you’re kissing. Remember who we are.” Jackson warned Mark, still holding his waist. The eldest looked at him accusingly but said nothing. A silent conversation seemed to take place between them as they just stared at each other’s eyes. Their demeanor softened.

“I guess I should have my turn now, before he passes out. You kinda wore him down.” Jinyoung stated with a smirk, as his heartbeats increased inside his chest. He felt like crying watching that spectacle of tongues and teeth, but his acting skills never let him down.

“I love you.” Jackson whispered lovingly to Mark and gave him a peck on the cheek. The way he said it so tenderly and the way he softly touched Mark’s face made Jinyoung even more uncomfortable than when he had to watch the fiery make out scene between the two. The younger felt miserable and fascinated at the same time. His two hyungs suddenly looked like two lovers in a TV drama. The wild persona of the rapper who seemed to brutally claim Mark as his prey a few seconds ago was gone, and what was left was just a kind Chinese boy in love. The final blow to Jinyoung’s heart was Mark’s delicate “I love you too” response. The American touched his own wound left by his boyfriend and though it was a bit sore, he smiled at it. Both seemed to forget the singer’s existence. The dongsaeng grunted.

“Seriously, guys! I’m gonna puke.” Jinyoung felt like running away, he couldn’t take anymore of their shit. He wondered why he had to go through such a gratuitously cruelty.

“Sensitive, aren’t we?! Okay, let’s do this! Remember, it’s just a kiss. Watch out for your hands. I’m the only one allowed to touch him like that.” Jackson came towards Jinyoung and studied his features, looking for some sign, something, that could indicate the singer had any intention of enjoying that moment. But Jinyoung was more afraid than excited, yet, the actor in him, helped him hold his ground.

“Jackson, are you trying to scare him or something? Let him come to me.” Mark insisted gently, and finally Jackson unblocked the singer’s path to the American. The singer examined Mark cautiously, he couldn’t stop noticing the shade of pink that colored his features nor the way that lust still clouded his eyes after what Jackson had done to him. Mark looked extremely sexy just standing there, undone, used, aroused, and with a big hickey adorning his shoulder. As Jinyoung came closer to Mark, Jackson prepared his camera. Before their lips touched Mark mouthed a quickly “I’m sorry” and grabbed Jinyoung’s by both sides of his face. The kiss started shy, as if they were two teenager’s exploring their first kiss. Mark didn’t dare to tongue Jinyoung at first, but when he felt Jinyoung’s hands massage the back of his neck, and the singer’s tongue slip into his mouth, he didn’t know how to hide his excitement. Those velvety lips knew how to kiss very well and the way Jinyoung dived his finger through his hair was mesmerizing. The kiss wasn’t heated as Jackson’s, but quite intense in it’s own way. Jackson’s camera took 10 pictures in different positions and angles, to make sure they looked legit. And every single one of those flashes made him wanna die. When he felt it was enough, he just sternly told them to ‘break it up’.

“I was expecting you to say ‘cut’. How good did we look?” Jinyoung asked sarcastically and even winked at the rapper, but inside he felt dirty, and heartbroken. He already missed Mark’s warmth and he regretted crossing that dangerous line with his hyung. He would never be able to get over that kiss, it plainly scarred him. Of course kissing Mark was everything he dreamed about, and more, but the circumstances made him feel betrayed. Judging by their past, he thought Mark would be more considerate of him and not rub his intimacies with Jackson at his face. He knew the Chinese was trying to prove a point, by “preparing his lover” for him, but Jinyoung felt that Mark shouldn’t have enjoyed that much, since he was watching.

“Your job is not done. Take these to this address. Be quick, we have less than 2 hours.” he handed the photos to Jinyoung wrapped a trench coat around him and opened the front door, motioning for him to leave.
“Why I should be the one delivering this?” Jinyoung looked unsettled.

“Have you looked at us? Mark is hard and so am I. We cannot go out like this. Now, I’m gonna take care of both our problems, while you my friend, hold the fate of Got7 in your hands.” Jackson said simply and showed the bulge in his pants to prove his point. Jinyoung didn’t dare to look back at Mark and just did what he was told. When he left, Jackson closed the door and turned his whole attention to Mark, who was almost passed out on the couch.

Chapter Text

“So, who’s a better kisser?” Jackson sneered, as the American sighed with displease. He seriously didn’t want to have that talk right now.

“Don’t you start.” he muttered, a little upset by the unsettling question. The rapper quickly kneeled between his legs and massaged Mark’s thighs seductively. The American tried to avoid Jackson’s lust filled eyes, but he almost groaned with the way his lover’s hands groped him.

“Do you think he’s still in love with you?” – Jackson inquired more serious. Mark wanted to find a way to reassure his boyfriend that Jinyoung did not present any kind of threat to their relationship. He almost regretted telling him about Jinyoung’s confession years ago.

“No, maybe he never was. Perhaps he was just confused at the time.” – Mark pulled Jackson into a kiss to shut him up and the Chinese gladly changed his position to straddle his boyfriend.

“Good. What about a quickie before going to bed?” Jackson suggested sexily as he could feel his lover’s clothed hard on pressed against him.

“I’m not in the mood.” Mark whispered, as Jackson eyed him with disbelief. The Chinese rapper even felt him up to make a point.

“Mark, you have a hard on and so do I. Let us both forget about this tragic night and have some fun.” Jackson’s hands were already inside Mark’s pants and travelling their way underneath his boxers, but the American gripped his arm firmly.

“Stop it! You embarrassed me in front of Jinyoung. You didn’t have to manhandle me in that way! You hurt my shoulder and my pride. I think I’ve had enough bruises for one night.” Mark insisted locking eyes with Jackson. His body was responding well to his lover’s advances, yet his mind was elsewhere. He did not want to be caught having sex with the rapper in the middle of the living room. He also wanted to wait for Jinyoung and make sure things didn’t change between them. However, he needed to get his frowning boyfriend off him first.

“What the hell, Mark! Are you denying me now?! I told you not to forget who we are.” Jackson got up suddenly annoyed, but there was something else clouding his expression, something similar to fear.

“It’s just not a good time, Jack. We have practice tomorrow morning, and it’s been a long night. And what if Jinyoung gets lost? We should make sure he wasn’t kidnapped or something. When he comes back, let’s just go to bed, ok?” Mark uttered, immediately feeling guilty. The rapper just nodded at him, and went for a cold shower.

Mark felt like the worst boyfriend ever. It was obvious that he wanted Jackson as much as he wanted him. He was aware of his boyfriend’s jealousy as well as his large inferiority complex. It could be a problem if the Chinese thought Mark had chosen Jinyoung over him. After considering his options and their possible aftermath, he forced himself to forget about his adorable dongsaeng and followed Jackson to the bathroom. The Chinese was surprised to see his naked lover get into the shower with him.

“What are you doing? I thought you would wait for Jinyoung’s return.” Jackson looked at him quizzically. He had guessed his boyfriend was anxious about the photos’ deliverance to the right address, and too stressed to make love to him. But the rapper was still deeply disturbed with the fact that he had to take a photograph of Mark and Jinyoung’s kiss, then send those pictures to a stranger, and to make things worse, hear a denial from his lover. It was the first time Mark said ‘no’ to him. And all that happened in on single night.

“I decided to be a good boyfriend and give you a hand.” Mark emphasized the last word as he smirked at Jackson and started stroking his welcoming erection. Jackson held Mark by the shoulders and moaned his name. The American showered him with kisses, which travelled till his happy trail. Jackson noticed how his boyfriend skillfully got into his knees and started licking his tip. The scene before him made him feel proud, but also insecure. He eyed the huge hickey that had formed on Mark’s shoulder due to their earlier activity. The Chinese rapper felt incredibly lucky to have a gorgeous boyfriend naked, on his knees, ready to blow him and make him the happiest man in the world. Yet, he also wondered what other guys would do to have what he has. He wondered how Jinyoung could even stand being near Mark and not touch him like that. Then another inconvenient, dreadful thought crossed him mind.

“Hope you’re not thinking about his dick while touching mine.” Jackson groaned, and realized he said that out loud. But it was already out, and right as Mark was about to open his mouth and blow him.

“Excuse me?! What did you just say?” Mark stopped what he was doing and faced Jackson up front. Obviously offended. The rapper finally let his insecurities get the best of him.

“Am I enough for you? Do you ever regret choosing me over him?” he closed his eyes as he rested his back against the bathroom wall.

“Jackson don’t be ridiculous. I could have stayed in the living room waiting for him, who, as you put it, ‘holds the fate of the group in his hand’, but I came looking for you! For Christ sake, why would I be thinking about his dick!?” Mark sounded mad as he started drying himself with a towel.

“Then prove it to me with your body. Get rid of my lack of confidence, be inside me. Love me! Make me believe I am the right one.” Jackson almost begged as Mark shot a look of disbelief at him. Usually Jackson was the one topping during sex, and both him and Mark knew he enjoyed being the dominant one. The American didn’t mind bottoming for Jackson, he loved the Chinese in any possible position. But it was rarely that Jackson would change roles, let Mark take the lead and beg his boyfriend to penetrate him.

“Wang Jia Er, where the hell is this coming from?” Mark sounded worried now. That request caught him out of guard.

“Look me in the eye and say you didn’t enjoy that kiss.” Jackson searched for his lover’s eyes and waited for an answer, but he didn’t get one. Mark finished getting dressed and silently marched out of the bathroom, leaving his boyfriend alone with his angsty thoughts.
Jinyoung didn’t fail to deliver the letter to the informed address. He feared leaving those photos inside an old mailbox of an abandoned house, but he had to follow the letter’s instructions and not disappoint his hyungs. The next few days were especially difficult. Youngjae moved out of the dorm due to family issues and JB wasn’t very happy with Jackson’s half-assed apology for the scene he caused the night he almost hurt the leader’s favorite dongsaeng. Despite the Chinese’s crappy mood, he took Youngjae to eat meat at some expensive restaurant and though the singer admired the rapper’s efforts to make it up to him, Jaebum did not. Jinyoung seemed to be focused on bullying Yugyeom and Bambam lately. Drowning himself in work, practicing, composing and acting helped him keep his balance. And it was also the best way to avoid his favorite Hyung after that memorable kiss. Mark, on the other side, seemed more quiet than usual. Everyone in Got7 noticed that he and Jackson were a bit distant. But they thought it had to do with the anonymous letters that made them act more careful when in public. On a certain afternoon, Jackson cornered Mark at the end of a tiring practice session and told him that until he had an answer for his question regarding Jinyoung’s kiss, they wouldn’t be able to move on from that night. Mark gave him no response, so he just walked away. For two weeks Jackson waited, Jinyoung kept his façade and Mark did nothing.

“It’s the end of our break. Jaebum is calling us.” Youngjae approached Mark, who quickly threw his cigarette butt out of the JYP balcony. He got like that when he was anxious, smoking cigarette after cigarette. He thought none of his dongsaengs knew about that habit, but he didn’t mean to hide it from them. Jaebum’s favorite dongsaeng offered him a chewing gum with a knowing smile.

“Oh, thanks. Gosh, I feel like I’m a failure as a role model. I’m supposed to be the hyung here and you’re the one looking after me.” Mark said nervously.

“Don’t worry. Just chew it before we get there. You get in that room smelling like a tobacco package and Jaebum will flip. His level of tolerance is very low these days.” Youngjae smiled sympathetically.

“You know what? We miss you at the flat. I swear you’re the one who can subside his terrible mood sometimes. Recently he’s been on the edge. No chance of you returning to us?” Mark asked sadly.

“Nah! It’s good to be independent now. Coco has more space to play and my family needs me around. The flat became too crowded, and I’m old enough to live on my own. I kinda enjoy having that kind of freedom. But I have no doubt you guys will soon forget about me.”

“Not gonna happen. I just hope we remain friends when this is all over.” Mark said with a crestfallen expression adorning his pretty face.

“You and me both. We hear about idols who were pretty close while their group was active, yet the moment they disband, they become distant, or worse. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, is that the Markson couple will prevail no matter what. You know, you and Jackson are lucky. Maybe you two are the only ship that will be happily ever after even when we disband.” Youngjae’s smile faltered. The American frowned at him, but then realization hit him in the face.

“You don’t have anyone in mind, do you?” Mark eyed him quizzically.

“2Jae is cute, but not promising.” Youngjae smiled shyly at his hyung.

“Oh, my gosh, you and JB.” – Mark almost choked.

“He’s straight as an arrow, I have no chance at all. One-sided love is hard to bear, especially when you work, eat, sleep and breathe around your beloved. Not having to live under the same roof as him is a blessing. Of course, I miss you guys, and all the mess, but I only have one heart to break.” the singer revealed pouring his heart out to his hyung.

“I’m sorry. You don’t intend to tell him.” Mark felt bad for his dongsaeng.

“Nah! I know his answer already, he doesn’t need to reject me face to face. I can live with that. Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t, but what if he feels the same?” Mark knew Jaebum and Youngjae’s friendship was sincere, but that was it, for Im Jaebum they were just comrades. Youngjae, unfortunately, was at a dead end. However, it didn’t hurt to give the youngster some sort of consoling fake hope.

“I know him very well, it’s hopeless, plus, I don’t want to end up like Jinyoung. Barking up the wrong tree. – the singer eyed him curiously to measure the effect of his words on Mark.

“You!” Mark was agape. But before he could say anything else, Bambam came to get them from the lounge. Another anonymous letter was found inside JB’s backpack this time around. As usual, no one saw who put it there.

When the three approached the practice room, Jinyoung’s Satoori could be heard through the corridors. He seemed to be in an intense argument with JB. When Youngjae, Mark and Bambam entered, a silence took over the room. Yugyeom was sitting on the floor hanging his head low while his two hyungs where almost at each other’s neck. Jackson was nowhere to be seen.

“Mark! You couldn’t be bothered to tell me the truth!!” Jaebum strode to the American as soon as he entered the room just to throw the pics of Jinyoung and the eldest kissing at his face. Mark’s eyes searched the room for Jackson, but he only found Jin’s. Ashamed as he was, he quickly turned his gaze away.

“I had to fix the problem fast. What’s so horrible about that?” the eldest hyung said simply. Still appalled at the leader’s reaction. JB had a temper, but rarely crossed the line between hyung and dongsaeng with Mark. He was usually respectful and appreciative of the elder. Things have changed.

“Don’t you see? We are not safe, Mark! Someone can get inside our flat without us knowing, they may as well kill us while we sleep! How can you be so stupid!?” Jaebum snapped, the only thing keeping him from shaking Mark by the shoulders was Jinyoung’s firm grip on his arm.

“Finally a good excuse for us to all move out of there. Somehow, that place was getting too tiny for all of us. We can at last get a place of our own Mark.” Jackson voiced his opinion, finally joining his members in the room. His boyfriend felt relieved, yet, still avoided his eyes.

“You and Mark sharing a place together. That would certainly fix things! Where the hell have you been?” Jinyoung’s glare turned to the Chinese, but Jackson ignored his exasperation.

“Take a chill pill Park Jinyoung! By the way, how do you know our sick admirer got inside the flat?” Jackson turned to JB.

“The psycho told me in the letter that the three of you put on a nice show in the living room. They claim to have hidden cameras all over the place. She, he, they, or whoever is doing this, even gave back the pictures, so I could see how I’m losing ground in Got7!” JB exclaimed pointing to the photos scattered on the floor. Youngjae quickly picked them up and handed them to Mark, who refused to touch them.
Jinyoung took the photos instead and put them inside one of his trousers pockets. That gesture drew Jackson’s attention to him, but soon he regarded the leader again.

“Yes, they got in there for a couple of minutes before I arrived at the flat that night. We were careless. Someone must have left the door unlocked, so the sicko took advantage of the situation. They possibly took a good look at Mark while he slept, left a note at the front door and took off. But this camera thing sounds too unbelievable.” Jackson commented, wondering if their lives were indeed at risk.

“I don’t want sleep in there anymore.” Yugyeom never felt so scared in his life.

“It’s a bluff, there are no cameras. They are just trying to mess with our minds. The building is safe, no need to lose your head over that lie, bro.” Bambam came near Yugyeom and patted his friend’s back reassuringly.

“You guys are welcome to crash at mine’s if you want to.” Youngjae offered kindly. He started to really worry about his comrades.

“JB, we’d better tell JYP about this. I really think we should consider involving the police or…” Jinyoung, who seemed more serene now and his accent had returned to his usual one, wasn’t allowed to complete his sentence.

“I thought I could count on you to manage this group! But now you keep secrets from me and goes around kissing other people’s boyfriends! Whatever decision that had to be made should’ve been made with the group’s vote! Is he so goddam pretty that made you throw your responsibilities out of the window?!” JB shouted at Jinyoung pointing at Mark, who suddenly looked too out of place. Bambam, Yougyeom and Youngjae didn’t dare to open their mouths, but the Chinese rapper was not afraid of the leader’s wrath.

“Mark is my boyfriend, and Jinyoung had to be the one to kiss him. I’m not happy about that, no one is. But they fulfilled their roles for the sake of our safety. Would you have done anything different? Because I’m not leaving Got7, nor I’m going to be the spotlight of a scandal that will haunt us for the rest of our lives.” he said nonchalantly.

“All right, well done. I guess I should be thanking you guys then! Now we’re slaves to the whims of a stranger! What will be next? A sex tape? Jackson, my friend, you will regret this.” JB warned him, but his tone was softer.

“I already did.” Jackson replied as he eyed Mark and Jinyoung trying to avoid each other’s gaze. Jaebum examined his features as he stared at the two. He knew trouble was coming their way, maybe sooner than he expected.

“Can I talk to you in private?” the leader asked, but it sounded like an order. He told Youngjae to stay at the flat with Bambam and Yugyeom till they returned. And told Mark and Jinyoung to wait for them at the practice room. No one questioned his reasons.

“Lead the way.” the rapper said simply, leaving the room with his elder. He couldn’t help but be alarmed by the fact that the Markjin couple was going to be left alone in there. But he walked out anyway.

As silence fell between them, Jinyoung felt that he needed to, at least, start an idle conversation with his hyung. He missed their proximity, he didn’t feel like avoiding the American anymore.

“Don’t take it to heart what JB said. Everything will turn out well, I’m sure of it.” the singer said as he realized Mark had been staring at him the whole time.

“I don’t like being in the spotlight, but lately it seems I’m the cause of all arguments inside this band. I’m getting tired of these episodes of reproach. Jaebum is not only mad, he sounded desperate. Does he know about us?” Mark asked bluntly.

“There’s no ‘us’ Mark hyung, you made sure of that years ago.” he answered, scandalized with the straightforward questioning.

“Are you fucking him then?” Mark’s assault of words kept coming as he towered his dongsaeng.

“Are you kidding me?!” Jinyoung was taken aback now, his cheeks flushed.

“He hated the fact that we kissed, maybe as much as Jackson did. So, did you guys do it?” Mark pressed, impatiently.

“What!? That would never happen. And even if I was ‘fucking’ him as you put it, that fact should not concern you.” Jinyoung defended himself, crossing his arms around his waist. He was almost pouting, and that innocent gesture immediately reminded Mark that once he was able to taste those rosy lips.

“I’m sorry, I’m overstepping my boundaries. I didn’t mean to. It’s just clear that he purposely left us here alone to talk things out and I’m ruining everything. Clearly things are a bit awkward between us, so, I’m not sure what to say.” Mark sounded apologetically as he sat on the ground and with a pat on the floor, invited Jinyoung to sit beside him. The singer remained standing still, declining the proximity.

“He’s preoccupied with a possible love triangle in Got7. JB thinks it was unprofessional and irresponsible of me to kiss you. Plus, he knows how I feel about you.” he revealed some of the truth he was holding from is hyung.

“You mean, he knows how you used to feel about me a long time ago, right?” Mark’s heartbeats increased in his chest. He tried his best not to stutter.

“Present simple, hyung. I told him I still love you, that I never stopped.” the singer corrected him. Only now, he sat down facing Mark, waiting for his reaction. The American held his breath for a while and closed his eyes. A deep sigh of realization came out of him as he opened his eyes again just to hold Jinyoung’s stare. The elder seemed to silently panic for a while, but he managed to find his voice again.

“JB must hate me now. I made his best friend suffer all this time and then I force a kiss on him. I’m the worst. To be honest, it’s all my fault in the first place. If I had not let Jackson kiss me in public at a random LA gay bar, this mess wouldn’t be happening now. No one would be blackmailing us.” Mark’s eyes brimmed with tears, as he brought his hands to caress Jinyoung’s cheek. The singer melted in his touch and brought their foreheads together as he held his hyung by the nape of his neck.

“You’re not to blame. We all know how Jackson loves to show you off. He was probably doing his territorial thing at that bar, making sure no one came near you.” Jinyoung stated knowingly. He could almost picture a drunk Jackson shooting daggers with his eyes to every guy that remotely tried to chat up Mark. Jinyoung’s nose almost touched Mark’s, yet, the American did not look bothered by his dongsaeng’s skinship.

“Jackson has nothing to worry about. Jinyoung, we shouldn’t be doing this.” the American pointed out, though he didn’t move away from him.

“I did my best to make my point with that kiss, I wanted to send my love across. Do not doubt Mark Tuan, I love you so fucking much.” Jinyoung muttered, as he noticed how close their lips were, almost touching. The way he pronounced Mark’s name, without honorifics and with so much tenderness, sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine. The American licked his own lips as he tried not to succumb to temptation.

“We can’t. I’m in a relationship, you know.” Mark, turned his head away as Jinyoung hungrily moved to capture them. His hyung resisted.

“Please, just this once! Let me kiss you without reservation, like Jackson insisted on showing me that night. Let me take care of you Mark. No one will know, I swear!” the singer’s eyes begged him to surrender, yet Mark struggled to be strong. Jinyoung’s irresistible seduction threatened to break his resistance.

“No, I will know.” Mark stated, as he disentangled himself from a disappointed Jinyoung and got up from the floor. The younger grimaced.

“Congratulations! Turns out he’s the only one who can easily cheat in this relationship of yours. He didn’t put up a fight, you know. Actually, he was the one who came after me. I didn’t even try to make a pass at him or anything. I just had to lay there. If you only knew how unfaithful and disloyal that piece of shit can be, you wouldn’t be that indifferent to my charms.” Jinyoung said viciously, as Mark frowned at his insinuation.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mark looked at him in disbelief, but before the other could say anything, JB and Jackson returned to the room. The leader noticed the tension in the air, but silently packed his stuff to leave. Jackson took Mark’s hand and dragged him away from the room when he saw Jinyoung grinning from ear to ear.

By the time they reached the parking lot of JYP building, Mark’s tears were already staining his features. Jackson became alarmed and questioned him.

“Mark, what is it? What did he do?” he asked, still holding his lover’s hands in his.

“What did YOU do?!” Mark demanded, crying hard. Jackson was confused for a second, but then a wave of fear ran through him.
“I don’t know, Mark! What did he tell you?” the Chinese rapper inquired sternly.

“Have you ever done anything remotely sexual with him? Don’t lie to me. I will know if you lie.” Mark warned him. Jackson did not make any effort to lie, he was confident that their relationship was strong enough and wouldn’t be affected by something that happened so long ago.
“It was a drunken night, we had received an award, but you and I had had a fight. I don’t remember the reason, but we weren’t talking. I was so out of it that I got inside the wrong room when I got to the flat. It was Jinyoung’s. He was just lying there and I wanted to celebrate the night with someone close to me, but I didn’t bother looking for you. You made me feel like trash in a night that should be amazing. Only you can turn a major success in a despairing failure. I wanted to hurt you somehow, make you feel as miserable as I did back then. I believe he also had his reasons. I knew how he felt for you, he knew you and I were together. It just happened, a terrible mistake. It was just angry sex. We regretted it as soon as it was over and we promised to never utter a word about it to anyone. It was a meaningless act. Ancient story, Yien.” Jackson confessed, as he tried to soothe Mark’s pain massaging his fingers randomly.

“And you claimed I was the one thinking about his dick! How hypocritical of you. I can’t believe you two did this behind my back! And you claim to love me! So, I guess I’m allowed to ask you if he’s good in bed!? Did he open his legs for you or what? Did you think of me while you fucked him?!” the American hissed, as he struggled not to scream at his partner.

“Maybe, I don’t remember it very well. You remember the part I said I was shitfaced, right? Listen, you have all the right be upset, Mark. But you must understand that our relationship at that time wasn’t as uncomplicated as it is now. We had a lot of problems, we had recently come out to our families and we didn’t know how our members would react towards us dating. We were through a rough path. We were not official, per se.” Jackson tried to explain himself the best as he could, but his lover’s painful expression didn’t change. Mark took his hands away from his boyfriend’s grasp and eyed him seriously.

“Is there anything else I should know?” he wiped his tears away and crossed his arms around his skinny form.

“Keep quiet about this. No one can know. Especially, Jaebum. They had a fling since the JJ Project debut. I don’t know how it started or how it ended, but Im Jaebum was still banging him by the time Jinyoung and I happened.” The rapper answered shortly. Mark registered all that information as he felt a sour taste left in his mouth. His boyfriend put a hand on his shoulder but he avoided his contact.

“I think I need a break, Jackson.” he said finally, after a few seconds of silence. Consternation took control of his boyfriend. He shook his head in disbelief as Mark looked down sorrowfully.

“No, no, no! You haven’t even told me what changed after you kissed him! You never tell me anything! Don’t you see what he’s trying to do, Mark?! You can’t let him win. Park Jinyoung found the perfect moment to break us up and you’re letting him do it! That’s unacceptable! We love each other, there’s no reason to overreact because of something so stupid!” Jackson raised his voice unconsciously, his gestures were exaggerated, he wanted to beat some sense into his boyfriend, yet he didn’t know how. For the first time he was actually afraid of losing the love of his life.

“You are the one who’s changed! Or perhaps, you’ve been like this all this time and I never knew who you really are. You broke my trust! You did it, not him! How will I be able to ever forgive you, I really do not know. And yes, we need some time away from each other Jackson, because I can’t even look at you right now.” Mark snapped and marched out of the parking lot without looking back, leaving his boyfriend alone and crushed.

Chapter Text

The next day, Got7 had a day off. Without a schedule, members decided to do whatever they wanted to do, and that meant staying out of the flat. Everybody was freaking out with the possibility of cameras watching them day and night. Bambam and Yougyeom went shopping after Youngjae declined joining them. Mark spent the night before in his dongsaeng’s house, since he didn’t want to be anywhere near Jackson. After hearing about the break up, Youngjae decided to cheer his Hyung up introducing him to some new videogames he had acquired at his new residency. Only Jinyoung, JB and Jackson were still deciding what to do to avoid the flat. The leader woke up a little late that morning and found Jackson in the kitchen wearing sunglasses and eating some cereals.

“Are you a fashionist now? Lose the glasses Seun-ah. Have you seen the kids?” JB commented, ignoring the fact that Jackson was up before him. Usually when they have a day off, the Chinese sleep through the day in Mark’s room.

“I didn’t get any sleep. I just can’t! Mark left me, how can I ever sleep without him by my side! As for the others, they went out shopping. Mark is at Youngjae’s and Jinyoung can go to hell as far as I’m concerned.” Jackson said dramatically as he stared at JB looking for his sympathy. He removed his sunglasses and waited for the other’s reaction. The leader almost choked on his coffee when he saw the eye bags decorating his dongsaeng’s face.

“Come on, man. It’s not the end of the world. Whatever lover’s spat you guys had last night, it will be fixed very soon. You guys never stay away from each other for too long. We all know that. Maybe he just needs some space. I knew those photos would be a problem, but Jinyoung is not at fault. He saved us big time, you said so yourself.” JB said sarcastically as he sat beside the exasperated rapper.

“He’s the devil! I know he’s lusting after Mark! He’s got a taste of him and now he wants more!” Jackson complained childishly as JB tried his best not to laugh at his dongsaeng’s pitiful expression.

“I bet Mark will indeed find someone else if he sees you in this state! So, are you gonna tell me why is he at Youngjae’s? Why the hell did you fight, anyway?”

“Mark’s at Youngjae’s? I was looking for him everywhere.” a distressed Jinyoung showed up at the kitchen’s door having overheard the conversation between his two hyungs. He noticed Mark was missing last night when JB and Jackson returned to the flat and he couldn’t miss Jackson’s perturbed demeanor. The Chinese shot him a look of disgust. JB frowned at that. The leader didn’t have any knowledge regarding what was really going on between the two.

“Wouldn’t you like to know! Do you miss him already? Because of your big mouth, he doesn’t even answer my calls!” Jackson’s tone was taunting.

“You are his boyfriend, at least you should be trying to make it up to him after last night!” Jinyoung accused, sounding more pissed than he intended too. JB watched the two curiously.

“Oh, and who are to blame for that?! You had destroy everything I’ve built so far, didn’t you?! Just don’t think you’re gonna score some points with him after what you did, you asshole!” Jackson retorted as he got up from his chair and walked towards Jinyoung. Before he got too close to the singer the leader blocked his way.

“All right guys, I see this is more worrisome than I thought. Now listen to me, we are going to sit down like three adults that we are and discuss this matter like reasonable people.” JB stated, hoping the other two would listen to him. But they didn’t.

“Well I have nothing to say to him.” Jinyoung was the first to refuse to sit down and patch things up. That took Jaebum by surprise. Was that his cute, mature and polite dongsaeng talking? Jackson just scoffed at him.

“I’m glad we both agree on something, Jinyoungie.” Jackson replied, as he mimicked the soft tone Mark often use to regard the singer.

“Jackson, this can’t be just about the kiss, right? Jinyoung what did you say to Mark yesterday night?” a confused JB remained between the two. Jackson couldn’t bear being in the same room with Jinyoung. He felt like punching him and he knew he would regret it if he did. So, he just turned his back on the two, put on his glasses and left the flat.

“Tell me you’re not the reason for this supposed break up!” Jaebum regarded the only remaining dongsaeng’s in the kitchen. Jinyoung looked away.

“Jackson is. He cheated on Mark.” Jinyoung told him carelessly.

“He did what?! How do you know? You idiot! I told you not to get too close. You have nothing to do with that. Why did you have to be the one to tell Mark? Do you know how bad this looks?" JB almost shouted.

“I don’t care! I did what felt right to do. Jackson doesn’t deserve him, he never did. I’ll make sure no one hurts Mark again.” Jinyoung said confidently.

“Stay away from those two, if you know what’s best for you. This is not healthy, Jinyoung, I mean it. They have a history, they went through a lot together, they are clearly inseparable, and you can’t compete with that. You’re delusional if you think Mark huyng is gonna leave Jackson to be with you!” JB spat, as he noticed how the determination in Jinyoung’s eyes faltered. The leader didn’t want to be cruel, but he knew something had to be done to stop his dongsaeng’s advances.

“Why don’t you take my side and support my decision? You’re my best friend!” Jinyoung’s distraught face broke his hyung’s heart.

“It’s because I’m your friend and care about you, that I’m telling you to back off. Get over him, Jin, and find someone else. Someone who can properly love you back. It might take time, but you’ll heal, I promise.” JB held Jinyoung as the younger wept copiously in his embrace.
A week went by and one more letter followed Got7’s footsteps. Mark and Jackson weren’t on good terms yet, but they had a couple shooting together and they had to pretend to be extremely close. Jackson wasn’t complaining, but his hyung was pretty uncomfortable with the amount of skinship they had to do before the cameras. Bambam was the one who found the letter this time. He was at the set where Mark and Jackson were being photographed for a magazine, and the Thai boy accidentally found the envelope almost falling out of his bag. The letter simple said ‘I demand a Vlive with Mark, Jackson and Jinyoung together. I’ll be asking questions through the app and they shall be answered. Find time for this request today, or else…’ Bambam nervously watched the photo shooting for a few more minutes and ran to the JYP studio where Jinyoung was working on the composition of some lyrics with Youngjae and Yougyeom. When he got there he bumped on JB at the cafeteria. The Thai hurriedly showed the letter to his hyung and they both went to find Jinyoung upstairs.

“You gotta get ready for a Vlive.” a disconcerted JB entered the studio, where his three other members lively chatted about ideas for their composition. The singers looked at him expectantly.

“The letter wants Jackson, Mark and you hyung online.” Bambam clarified the terms for a horrified Jinyoung.

“I can’t do this. Jackson will murder me in front of all the fans. A live broadcast is the worst idea ever right now.” Jinyoung looked at JB for support.

“Believe me, Jackson knows how to be professional, he knows what’s on the line. I already texted him. They’re both coming here, so you should warm up or something.” JB said helplessly. He knew how difficult that task could be for his dongsaeng, but he also knew it had to be done. He just patted his back reassuringly.

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Jinyoung said weakly, as Jackson and Mark showed up at the doorway. JB shot one last encouraging look to him and left with the others.

“Let’s do this!” Jackson said enthusiastically as he entered the studio. His mood had highly improved after the photo shooting. Even though Mark still acted cold towards him, he missed spending time alone with his adorable hyung. He hoped Mark’s anger wouldn’t last long. Jinyoung frowned at his carefree behavior, as the American seemed to ignore both of them. The elder looked simply stunning, his hair and make-up were impeccable. Jackson and Mark always looked like they were both born to be on the cover of model magazines. However, today they looked amazing together. Jinyoung felt like crying, he felt so ugly and small. He had no chance, they were a match made in heaven.

“Are you two back together?” he asked out of the blue. Mark finally looked him in the eye after days of silence and indifference.

“We’re getting there. Baby steps, right, honey?” Jackson replied jokingly, but his smile turned sour when he saw Mark’s glare.

“I wonder what kind of deadly sin I committed in another life to be in this current situation. Forced to spend painful hours with my cheating ex-boyfriend and my whore of a friend!” Mark exclaimed mercilessly. Jackson stared at him in awe as Jinyoung blushed furiously.

“Did you just call me a whore?!” Jinyoung asked shortly as the rapper still looked scandalized.

“What do you call a beloved friend that sleeps with your longtime boyfriend?” Mark verbally attacked again, venom filling each syllable he pronounced.

“Look at that, Mark Tuan Yien! I know I should’ve listened to Bambam. You’re just jealous of us. Silly me, wondering you had stopped loving me. Seriously, Jinyoung, I just realized how harmless you are. My behavior towards you has been uncalled for. My apologies, Park Gae! – Jackson said sheepishly, winking at his rival, as a new wave of hope washed over him. Jinyoung still frowned at him agape, unable to give him a response. Mark still looked hot and mad, completely ignoring Jackson’s antics. It hurt to hear Mark say that, but Jackson’s words made him feel even more humiliated.

“We should start!” Mark declared as the two followed him to a couch.

They set the camera of Mark’s phone and sat nervously as they waited for the chat to start. When only one person entered the chat, they just said hi and waited for more fans to join the Vlive. But no one else did. Only the user letter2u was able to see and talk to them. They looked at each other questioningly when the fan assured them no one else would bother their precious moment together.

“Did you just hack my phone or infected it with some sort of virus?” Mark asked alarmed looking at the camera.

letter2u: I’ll be the one asking the questions here, Markie. Now, I wanna see you guys make out!

The three looked terrified. They couldn’t be sure that only their stalker would be the one watching that little Vlive session. They remained speechless and immobile.

letter2u: If I wanted your careers to be over, I’d have spread those pics already. It’s only me here, go ahead and get it started

“You must be out of your mind if you think I’ll do something like that with my huyngs, in front of a damn camera! You’re being disrespectful and disgusting.” Jinyoung said shortly and started to get up. Jackson got up too, in order to stop him from leaving. Mark was about to say something when they were suddenly startled by a buzzing sound coming from Jinyoung’s pocket. Inside his pants, his phone immediately started to beep uncontrollably as it received dozens of notifications. Mark and Jackson looked at him quizzically as he checked his phone wide eyed.

“What is it?” Mark asked worryingly as an agitated Jinyoung bit his lips repeatedly and typed some quickly replies.

“What are you writing?” Jackson intervened as he tried to take the cellphone from Jinyoung’s grasp.

“I just had to write to my Mom and three other close friends that the picture they’ve received just now is a joke! – Jinyoung grimaced, as he showed the other two that people on his contact list were receiving the picture of his and Mark’s kiss.

letter2u: The ones close to you will understand and keep the secret. But what if I send it to the press? Or a rival company?! You have your orders, boys, do not disobey!

“We’ll do as you say! Just stop sending them!” Mark said hysterically, just before he grabbed Jackson’s face to give him a full-blown kiss. Jinyoung was surprised with his attitude, and nervous as he was, he just stood there speechless as Jackson responded passionately to his hyung’s kiss. Several emojis with heart-shaped eyes filled the Vlive screen and then another message popped up.

letter2u: Now, it is Jinyoung’s turn!! Stop it you two!

Jinyoung nudged the couple who were already lost in their own world and pointed to the screen. Mark sighed deeply as Jackson let go of him immediately. They stared at each other longingly until the Chinese whispered a sad ‘it’s okay’ to the American. Mark turned to Jinyoung then, and froze on the spot. He knew it was time for an epic Markjin moment.

letter2u: Will you guys stop eye-fucking each other already? Jinyoung go for it! We both know you want him!
Jinyoung held both of Mark’s cheeks and gave each of them a peck. The gesture was so sweet that made the elder blush furiously. Jinyoung shot a look at Jackson and was surprised to see lust in his eyes. Was he enjoying that? The younger seemed puzzled, but soon, another message distracted him from the Markson couple.

letter2u: Mark if it’s so difficult for you to kiss him, would you rather watch the other two eating each other’s face?!

Mark made a face as he read the sentence, but what really caught him out of guard was Jinyoung’s actions. The singer jumped on Jackson’s lap and started kissing the rapper furiously. Mark was shocked when he saw Jackson’s hands travel to Jinyoung’s ass and give it a hard squeeze. The American looked at the scene mesmerized as Jinyoung unbuttoned the Chinese’s shirt and massaged the fine muscles underneath the fabric. He couldn’t stand that any longer. He could hear his own heart shattering. Suddenly, he saw Jinyoung’s eyes open while he still kissed Wang. The singer looked at him lasciviously, he touched Jackson but he had his eyes locked on Mark. The American was about to intervene when, finally another message popped up.

letter2u: Well done boys! You’ve outdone yourself today. Unexpectedly, Jinson stole the spotlight this time. Will you just be a voyer next time, Mr. Tuan? Anyways, I’ll be choosing your punishment later. Just wait for it.

After that last line letter2u left the room, the connection was cut and the chat went offline.

“It’s over.” a seething Mark told them and got up to leave. Jinyoung instantly got off Jackson and grabbed his hyung’s arm.

“Damn, Park Jinyoung! I didn’t know this side of yours. I could tell you were holding something back, though! That was the sexiest I’ve seen you, ever! Were you this good back then?! I don’t know, I don’t remember.” Jackson regained his teasing tone from before. He still sat on the couch, not even a bit alarmed by Mark’s attempt to leave. His eyes were drawn to Jinyoung’s hold on Mark’s arm.

“Please don’t go! You know it was all an act, right? They wanted some action, and you weren’t much into it, at least Jackson seemed to be a willing participant.” Jinyoung’s voice had a pleading edge to it. They were both startled by Jackson’s fit of laughter.

“Do you enjoy seeing me miserable?” Mark fired at Jackson, who suddenly turned serious and approached them, pushing Jinyoung’s hands away from Mark.

“I thought you wanted a break, Yien! I believe that during this hellish time, this shitty punishment you make me go through, making me feel pitiful as fuck, I am allowed to have some fun with other guys, right!? Let’s face it, I’m not as freakin’ frigid as you are and I have my own needs!” Jackson screamed at his beloved’s face. Fury glowed in his eyes. His goofy aura from minutes ago was gone and suddenly Mark felt like crying. Jinyoung just watched amazed as Jackson’s attitude changed so quickly.

“How can you say that to me! Would you rather if I kissed him? To feed your obsessive theories of how everyone is trying to get into my pants or how I’m thinking about someone else’s dick in my mouth while I blow you?! Are you looking for a reason to end our relationship!? Do you want me to fucking destroy Got7?!" Mark shot back. Jinyoung reminded himself of JB’s words and tried to stay out of it. So decided to leave them alone to talk things out, but as soon as he reached the doorknob, he realized they were locked in.

“It was okay Mark, we were on a Vlive mission. It wouldn’t hurt to enjoy yourself a little, I was there by your side. The three of us would’ve worked out. You had my permission to touch him. But you are too dense to have noticed that.” Jackson exploded.

“I do not need your permission to do anything! You don’t own me, Jackson!”

“At least you owe me an explanation! I asked you what changed, if that kiss meant anything, but you gave me no answer! Now another fucking kiss is demanded again and you just were just scared I would be able to see through you. How do you think that makes me feel?” Jackson retorted, as the singer watching them frowned at that new information.

“Guys, stop this. Listen to me…” Jinyoung tried, but they continued shouting at each other like two lunatics, without even paying attention to him. So he raised his voice.

“What, Park Jinyoung?! Are you gonna say that a ménage à trois wouldn’t be a bad idea?! Please don’t!” Mark yelled, at his wits end. Jackson was about to shout something too, but his dongsaeng’s civilized tone piqued his interest. Why was he still in the room anyway? The Chinese wanted to ask, yet the singer’s words shut him up.

“I just said someone locked us in here. We are unable to leave. So I suggest you guys stop screaming, cause I have nowhere to go and my ears are gonna bleed out if you keep this up.’ Jinyoung explained with a foreign tranquility in his voice. He was aware that running away from that couple wasn’t an option, they’d probably have to spend their night in there. He had noticed that after checking those notifications and replying to some unsettling questions from his peers on his cellphone, it died right away. He was also aware that Wang had probably left his mobile in the car since his initial idea of coming to the studio was to concentrate on the Vlive mission and he had no bag with him. Then he quickly checked Mark’s cellphone, which was still on the table, but it had no signal. After announcing their lack of communication to the outside world, the youngest of the trio crouched on a corner of the room and seemed to meditate for a while.
The American mimicked Jinyoung’s earlier attempts and walked to the door just to force it open, but his kicks and punches were useless as well. He tried knocking and shouting to check if someone outside would be able to hear him and set them free, but it was pretty late, and no one seemed to be on that floor, except for the three of them. The Chinese rapper just observed their actions and was the only one who didn’t try to find a way out.

“Luck is on our side. Since there’s nothing we can do about this little predicament, we could kill sometime by finishing what we started during the live broadcasting. What do you say Jinyoung?” Jackson tried to be funny in the worst situations, but his humor wasn’t welcomed at the moment. The singer just shook his head and sighed dejectedly.

“I’d rather if you didn’t!” Mark barked as he took off his coat and threw at Jackson’s face. His movements were violent, yet incredibly sexy. The eldest had no idea of the effect he had on Jinyoung and Jackson at that moment. The see through shirt that was hidden underneath his coat was too revealing. The muscles of his slim toned stomach almost made the other two salivate. The singer blushed furiously as Jackson boldly stood up, picked up the coat from the floor and sniffed it like a dog.

“Well, I’d rather have you, if you have me. You can always take his place Mark, he’s always been a rebound anyway.” Jackson teased, as Mark sighed tiredly. Noticing his hyung’s distress, Jinyoung decided to be mature on in that room.

“Guys, we’re not going anywhere with these stupid arguments, we’d just end up hurting each other more. I can’t conceive that after 5 years of friendship, Got7 will come undone because of our lack of common sense. To be honest I believe this is a good opportunity for us to fix our problems, once and for all.” Jinyoung pondered about what he was going to say next as he walked to the two.

“I’m listening here. I imagine you have a wise speech prepared.” Mark sounded a bit more flexible and willing to cooperate. Jackson just nodded at him as he pushed both his hands inside his pocket and waited for him to speak. He turned to Jackson first.

“I admit it was very low of me to tell Mark about what happened between you and I, Jackson. It was not my place. We already have enough on our plate with these anonymous letters and I just added more salt to your wounds. You have a beautiful relationship, you two. I just wish I had someone too, you know. I got envious and even tried to steal a kiss from him when you were not around. He refused me, of course. He never wavered from you, so there’s nothing for you to worry about. I won’t come between you too, I don’t have that power.”

“Excuse me! Did you make a pass at my boyfriend?! How come I didn’t hear about that?” Jackson started, as he glared at both Mark and his dongsaeng. The American tensed for a bit, but Jinyoung continued.

“Look, you can hit me later, but listen to me first. If I were in your place I’d be possessive of him too! He’s a nice guy, he has a soothing personality, he’s rarely unkind and has a gorgeous body. And his face, there are no words to describe the exquisiteness of his features. But he has chosen you, and only you Jackson Wang. How many proofs do you need? When that pool party turned disaster during our Fly Tour in America, where Bambam dropped the n-word, Yugyeom drank his ass off while still underage and Mark’s friends took advantage of your connection with him to get their fuck on, it was your boyfriend who took the blame. He apologized to you, to the company and to the families of our members. And he did all that because not only Got7 is important to him, but because even though he was not the one to blame for those indiscretions recorded in that party, he wouldn’t want to jeopardize your relationship because of that incident. Actually, I think that if it wasn’t for you, he would’ve left us for the U.S already. With all the backlash and rumors going around of him being a bad influence for the Korean members of Got7, I bet he considered a breach of contract, yet, he kept strong. You are the main reason he sticks around and refrain from going back home. You are the one, not me, or anyone else. Get that into your thick head and stop sabotaging your own happiness. Do you think I’d be able to compete with the wild and sexy Hong Kong rapper Jackson Wang? Get real and work on this low self-esteem of yours. The last thing I want is to lose your friendship, Wang Gae!” Jinyoung said all that while looking Jackson in the eye, he noticed how the Chinese adopted a serious expression and stared at him attentively. Then he turned to Mark, who looked absolutely drained after hearing what the singer had to say to his lover.

“Mark hyung, you are very dear to me. You might throw tantrums now and then, you might be the one who broke an AC not to hit Youngjae, or the same person who threw a laptop at Bambam’s head, but you’re still an angel to me, in every single way. You left so much behind to join us here in Korea! I’ve learned so much from you and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for sharing your life with us. But I wronged you when you didn’t deserve. By the time I confessed to you, I knew I wasn’t confused. When a drunk Jackson came to my bed, I was the one who was sober, and I could have brought him to his senses. That night would never have happened if I did not allow it. Still, he was the closest I could get to you. I wanted to feel what you felt. It’s crazy how I’m unable to put it into words, but I thought I could touch him and somehow be more connected to you. It might sound gross and pathetic, but I was young and angsty back then. It’s not an excuse, but that’s how I felt. Since the beginning, Jackson was your first choice and who can blame you for that? This guy here is a multilingual fencing champion, he also can dance, rap, and he offers a lot to our Got7 with his entertainer skills. When JB is not around, or I cannot deal with the maknaes, he can lead the group, he mediate our fights, he lights up the mood when we are exhausted, he gives off energy! He manages his career in 2 different countries, he’s a filial guy, he’s hardworking and above all that, he always puts you first. Did I mention he can be pretty mature too? I’ll never forget the time JB and I were at each other’s neck over a mat. He stopped us from drawing blood and made us reconcile on the spot. When those Fly Tour rumors about you guys having a fight were all over the Internet, involving stans of Markson, others shippers and anti-fans, he exposed himself and started to ask them to stop doing that. He hated to see people badmouthing you and he hated even more having to pretend you guys were no longer close. You two were already dating and it was just natural that when the Markson couple became real indeed, all the PDA should be strictly forbidden. He did his best to keep his hands to himself while in public and he did his best to ignore you in front of the cameras! Most of Markson old shippers believe this ship has sunk, that is dead and gone, because of his expertise. Still, some very thorough Ahgases can’t help but notice the couple items and jewelry you guys do not try to hide in public. It doesn’t hurt to give them some hope, but if they only knew! The truth is, I’m glad you two have each other, because I love both my hyungs and I want them to be as happy as they deserve to be. Despite my previous mistakes, I shall never come between you two again. Jinyoung ended his monologue and sighed in contemplation of he had just said. Did he say enough? Did it make any difference? He wondered, as he studied the other two who remained silent for a few minutes.

"Thanks for saying what you said Park Gae! Mark and I appreciate it. I guess we needed to be reminded of who we truly are." Jackson gave him a genuine smile and his dongsaeng welcomed his hug with enthusiasm. The air had cleared, so it seemed. Mark missed seeing their actual camaraderie, so witnessing such an affectionate gesture between the two almost brought tears to his eyes. He sighed relieved and opened his long arms to embrace the other two, who seemed glued to each other, but made room for the eldest to join them.

Hours later, their manager unlocked the studio door just to find the three Got7 members chatting excitedly and laughing all over each other. He informed them that JYP building was going to move to a new address, that meant business was blooming. So, if they had any interest in looking for a place of their own, it was the right moment to convince JYP to let them do it. Jackson looked at Mark dreamingly, his lover could almost read his mind. Jinyoung knew that eventually the coupe would move in together, he just didn’t expect it would be so soon. He just hoped he could hide his broken heart the best he could. When they arrived at the flat, all the other members expected to see three brooding individuals complaining about their unfortunate destiny. But soon they rejoiced with the news that the quarrels were over and the private Vlive session with the sasaeng from hell went considerably well. They didn’t dare to tell the other members about the make out session between JinSon and MarkSon, they claimed only that questions were answered and they left the studio unscathed. That night Mark stayed in Jackson’s room and they made sweet love, while making plans for their future. Jinyoung managed to avoid JB’s questions about what really went down in the studio, he just told him that all was good now and that he needed some sleep. The singer hurriedly locked himself in his bedroom, trying his best to keep his sobs down. As he languidly cried on his pillow nonstop, he wondered why he couldn’t stop loving a man who would never love him back. He prayed for those feelings to go away until he feel sleep on his bed.

Chapter Text

The next morning was Youngjae’s birthday. They knew that although it was a special day they couldn’t skip practice. Nevertheless, a dinner was organized later to surprise the sunshine of Got7. Mark thought he knew what could be the perfect birthday gift for him. He then decided to take him to lunch and give him his gift.

“So, you and Jackson! Finally Jinyoung was able to beat some sense into you guys. I knew he was the only one who could do it.” Youngjae exclaimed as they sat at a discreet restaurant where no one would bother interrupting them. They served most of Youngjae’s favorite dishes and whenever he had time, he was there munching on some plate of ddukbokki.

“We have never been happier.” Mark glowed. It felt right to be with Jackson again, even though, sometimes, images of the kiss he shared with Jinyoung flashed through his mind.

“I feel bad for Jinyoung hyung, though. For some strange reason I silently rooted for him. It was some sort of cathartic kind of feeling. I mean, if he had managed to end up with you, everything was possible, even for me. But that would be asking too much.” Youngjae bit his lips nervously.

“I don’t like seeing you so down like this. But, perhaps we can change that. That’s why I have some news to share with you and with you only!” Mark started as the other looked at him quizzically.

“Is that the birthday present you were talking about? Seriously Mark, it has to be some really good information to beat the golden watch you gave me last year.”

“JB is into guys! At least he used to sleep with some. Now you should at least let him know you’re available!” Mark told him waiting for the other’s reaction.

“Is that some kind of joke?! Because if it is, I’m not laughing, you see. You of all people should not ruin this day for me.” Youngjae replied, sounding offended. Mark seemed confused.

“You have to keep this between us. But Youngjae, I heard from a solid source. He is gay, or bi, whatever. I couldn’t believe at first, but it’s true. Go and chase after him!” Mark insisted as Youngjae shook his head in denial.

“Well, whoever told you that is a mediocre liar. I know him, better than anyone! Maybe even better than Jinyoung, who got to meet him first! Plus, I guess he likes some girl. He came to me for advice, since Jinyoung was too absorbed in himself lately. I’m always his second option and that kinda pisses me off!” Youngjae sounded irritated now. Mark felt like he had no choice but reveal everything Jackson had told him.

“He used to sleep with him, before our debut, during the JJ Project early years. Maybe that’s why you’re always second. But it’s not too late, boy, you can change that.” Mark didn’t know what to believe anymore, since Youngjae was pretty adamant about JB’s heterosexuality. Jackson had no reason to make that story up, so he chose to believe his boyfriend. An unreadable fire burned inside the younger’s eyes when the American mentioned the possible JinJae sexual encounters. He was convinced of JB’s sexual orientation, but he wondered if the leader would give in to Jin’s seduction.

“This cannot be! Even if they did, it was probably an experimental phase for him, since Jinyoung is gay, he might’ve pushed him into it.” Youngjae seemed unsure of himself now. He started drinking too much and the food wasn’t even served yet.

“Hey, slow down. I didn’t mean to upset you! I wouldn’t have said anything if I knew you’d be like this.” Mark looked worried now, as he wiped some drops of soju falling from his dongsaeng’s chin.

“What would JB hyung say if he found that that apart from you, Jackson and Jinyoung, I am also in love with a member of our group? How would he take it?! – He exclaimed frustrated, trying his best to keep his voice down, but the alcohol was getting the best of him. He didn’t notice the look of horror shadowing Mark’s eyes. He didn’t notice the presence behind him, till he heard the hoarse voice of Got7’s leader answer him.

“He wouldn’t take it so well, but he’s understanding.” Jaebum said and with a swiftly movement he sat on an empty bench beside Mark, whose hands trembled underneath the table. Youngjae’s eyes were wide as saucers.

“How long you’ve been there?” Mark asked, without turning to him.

“Long enough to hear about my dongsaeng’s heartache. Who is it, Jae?” Jaebum inquired firmly. Mark blinked uncontrollably and tried to think of what to do to save the situation.

“I’m not telling you, hyung.” Youngjae lowered his eyes and refused to look at the love of his life sitting right there before him.

“Come on, man. Just let it out. What’s the worst that could happen?” Mark encouraged his dongsaeng. Youngjae felt cornered, so JB changed the subject.

“Just tell me when you are ready then. But don’t drink this much because of a guy, he probably don’t deserve you. You know what, I was looking all over for you guys. Especially you, Mark.”

“Don’t tell me. What did I do now?” Mark sighed deeply.

“Jinyoung’s mom called me about a picture sent to her yesterday. Turns out Jinyoung told her it was a prank, and of course, I confirmed his version of the story. But we both know it was not, right? I need you to tell me what happened during that Vlive yesterday, since no one was able to see anything. I want to know who else have those photos, but Jin’s avoiding me since then. I cannot help him if I don’t know what’s wrong.

“Like we said before, we just answered questions, the stalker was satisfied with them and we left. But, you see, Jackson and I are back together, so he’ll probably need some time alone, you know. Let the boy breathe by himself, man.” Mark lied and hoped the leader would let the subject go. Youngjae just watched their interaction quietly.

“Well, Mark, at least someone should look after him, right?! I’m glad for you and Jackson, I truly am, but if Jin gets exposed because of some mistake of yours, there will be hell to pay!” JB threatened as he got up to leave, but before he could do it, a tipsy Youngjae grabbed his arm and looked up to him again.

“You’re such a caring friend to him, hyung. Since you are my friend too, I should not leave you in the dark. Do you really wanna know?” Youngjae watched his expression soften.

“I don’t, but I have to. To be a proper leader, it’s important for me to know the way trouble may come. I wonder why this keeps happening…Maybe we should go out more. Relationships within the band are a hassle. Believe me when I say that the last thing I wanted was for you to suffer as Jin has been suffering. But go on, I’m all ears.” JB tried to sound supportive.

“How do you know it’s one-sided?” Youngjae asked as he smirked at Mark, who looked as puzzled as the leader now. Jaebum grunted as the younger held one of Mark’s hands which laying on the table. The American wondered if Jae was trying to make JB jealous, yet, if that was the cause, he’d rather not be part of it.

“Jae, just don’t keep him waiting. You might lose a golden opportunity.” Mark advised, wondering what was going through inside his dongsaeng’s head. Slowly, he let go of the younger’s hand.

“I’ll let you know at dinner tonight.” Youngjae said to the leader and simply walked out of the restaurant, leaving both his hyungs confused.

“Can’t believe he is gay too! But it can’t be helped. Man, I’m disappointed you didn’t tell me about this. You should not let him drink like that. Act more like a hyung, Mark. They need to see us as a fortress where they can run to when they are troubled. I thought that after yours and Jackson’s coming out, we wouldn’t be keep secrets like this from each other.” JB commented mortified.

“I didn’t tell you, because it’s not my place to tell you anything he confides in me. Well, he was troubled, needed a friend, so he came to me.” Mark stated, making Jaebum cringe.

“Oh, you’re his confident now? I noticed you guys have been pretty close lately. Jinyoung could use some of that attention too, you know. He definitely needs a friend. It’s a pitty you can’t offer him that kind of comfort. But lucky Jae, he’s got you all for himself. What does Jackson think of that?” JB inquired cruelly and waited for his answer.

“Jae is drunk, I’m going after him. And regarding your assumptions, here’s your answer… Fuck you!” Mark barked in a furious English and left the place clearly insulted.

That afternoon Youngjae didn’t return to afternoon practice. Mark looked for him everywhere, but he was nowhere to be seen. When Mark showed up at JYPE two hours later after the time scheduled for practice, the member of Got7 all gathered up around him with worried faces. JB was the only one who seemed more pissed than preoccupied with his member.

“JB hyung told us what happened. Did you find him? Where is he?” Yougyeom asked hurriedly.

“I honestly don’t know, Gyeom-ah. I even stopped by his house, but he wasn’t there.” The American answered in a disquiet tone. He felt so bad for the younger that he didn’t even comment about Jaebum’s outburst at the restaurant.

“Maybe we should give him some space, he’s obviously not ready to face us. I mean, he must be embarrassed as hell right now. I mean, I would!” Bambam commented as he checked his cellphone to see if his absent hyung replied to any of the messages on their group chat.

“He must be having a really difficult time right now. I say we should divide ourselves in teams and start looking at different places. He can’t be that far! JB Hyung why didn’t you go after him, anyway? Mark is certainly the last person Youngjae wanna see now.” Jackson inquired thoughtfully as he put an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Excuse me?! What did you actually tell them?” Mark unconsciously raised his voice as he shot an annoyed look at the leader, who frowned skeptically at him.

“I’m not dumb, Mark! I just had to read the situation, that kid is in love with you! Again! Another member of this group is falling for your cute face! Jackson and Jinyoung are already a lost cause! But poor Youngjae?! Who are you gonna add to your collection of conquests next? You’re going for the kids after? Yougyeom or Bambam?! Oh, wait, maybe they’re too immature for you! Or perhaps, you like them young!”JB accused, beside himself with indignation. The astonished expression on his elder’s face immediately made him sigh with regret. Jackson clearly did not like the tone he was taking with the American and lunged forward. Bambam face-palmed himself waiting for the worst. Yougyeom took two steps back from the Chinese and the Korean members. But, it was Jinyoung who hadn’t said anything up till now, who took charge of the situation.

“I suggest you stop now, you’re overreacting, okay?! Apologize to him, or I’ll be the one sending you to the hospital, after Sseunie is done with you, of course.” Jinyoung gave JB a threatening look as he put himself between the two men. Time stood still, it seemed that everyone in the room held their breaths, until a little ball of sunshine walked in.

“What did I miss?” Youngjae regarded them with a short smile, but everyone could tell that he’s been crying. The group approached him with careful steps. Except for JB, who almost ran towards him just to wrap his dongsaeng in a strong hug.

“We thought we had lost you.” the leader latched onto him, ignoring the mess he’s made earlier. He didn’t want to deal with the judging expressions on Mark, Jackson or Jinyoung’s faces. He knew he wronged the American, he was just to pissed to admit it. Youngjae’s warmth was his closest refuge at the moment. The dongsaeng seemed to be taken aback with the leader’s action, yet he unwantedly returned the hug with the same intensity. Youngjae eyed Mark looking for help, but the American just looked away.

“Well, I guess it’s time for the surprise!” Yougyeom’s voice brought them back to reality. In order to change the mood inside the room, he turned to his best friend and mouthed the word “cake” to him. Soon Bambam jogged to the corner of the room. After picking up a birthday cake from inside a decorated box, the Thai member ushered the others to sing with him “saeng-il chuk-ha-ham-ni-da” to Jae Otter. Gladly the others complied, hiding their discomfort from the birthday boy, who had no idea what went down before he showed up.

“Come on! Make a wish, Hyung!” Bambam urged as JB protectively guided Jae to towards the candle on the top of the cake. The others just watched the leader’s weird behavior.

“I wish to have a boyfriend like Jackson Hyung’s. I want to be loved by someone as sensitive and understanding as Mark.” Youngjae boldly said it aloud, putting out the flame. All eyes were on the American, who could barely stand the weight of their glare. Without putting any effort to defend himself, Mark excused himself abruptly, and left the room before anyone could say or do anything.

“Hey, I’m sorry, guys! What’s up with him? It was only a joke, okay! Why is everyone so serious?” Youngjae felt like he had committed a crime. The leader crossed his arms around his waist and looked elsewhere.

“We know it’s not a joke. JB told us.” Jinyoung started approaching his dongsaeng carefully. Youngjae turned to look at JB and then at Jinyoung again, he looked lost. He didn’t understand why the Chinese beside Jinyoung seemed so on the edge.

“Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Youngjae lied, not ready to discuss his heartache, if, that was the issue they were referring to. Mark wouldn’t have revealed his secret infatuation with the leader, would he? The singer wondered dreadfully.

“Are you in love with Mark, Youngjae? Answer me sincerely.” Jackson towered over him, he wasn’t threatening, yet, his tone was sharp.

“What!? Absolutely not! That’s what JB hyung told you? Well, he got it wrong. Mark hyung is an amazing guy and a very loyal friend, but I have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever.” Youngjae said firmly, as a look of relief washed over the Wang Gae-Park Gae duo.

“Who is it then? Tell me!” JB inquired, anxiously. The others looked at him expectantly.

“I guess this is none of our business, we should respect the kid’s privacy. Let him be! It’s his birthday for Christ sake!” Jackson’s voice returned to normal as he tried to help his dongsaeng out of the situation.

“No! This is our business! Nobody saw the way he was earlier! There’s someone in this group who is making him so miserable to the point of driving him to drink his ass off and skip practice. Therefore, we ought to know who it is, in order to fix this! – Jaebum was screaming now as he pointed to Youngjae. At that point, both Jinyoung and Jackson knew they would not be able to reason with him.

“It’s you, hyung.” a crestfallen Youngjae whispered weakly, yet loud enough for everyone to hear. He didn’t have the lift up his head, so he just focused on a random spot on the floor. Silence fell. The younger hung his head low, he could tell that all the others couldn’t foresee that revelation. Three claps brought them back to reality.

“Now you have your answer. You fix this now, almighty leader!” Jackson said sarcastically as he gave JB a pat on the back and announced to the others that the two needed some space. Bambam and Yougyeom obediently packed their stuff and prepared to leave. Jinyoung stared at JB’s blank expression for a while and wondered if he should stay. But soon he decided to follow the others back to flat, leaving the 2Jae pair talk things out.

Back at the flat, the others silently went to their rooms, contemplating about the possible end of Got7. The have never fought so much in such a short period of time. The four of them knew that although Lim Jaebeom was a fixer, there was no easy solution for their actual problem. Jackson was the only one who instead of locking himself in a room, went to Mark’s. There, he found his lover packing.

“Where are you going?” the rapper asked baffled.

“I need to leave this place now!” Mark stated, without looking at him.

“You realize I was on our side back there, right?! I had your back! No one should talk to you like that, not even our fucking leader. But you could’ve defended yourself, you know.” Jackson stated as he followed his boyfriend’s blundering movements. The Chinese wanted to make his lover look at him, but the American was too busy taking several pieces of clothing from his wardrobe and shoving them into a suitcase.

“Yes! Especially after you heard Youngjae’s silly birthday wish! I saw how you looked at me! Turns out, I’m the whore in Got7!” Mark suddenly stopped his motions to stare at his lover’s oblique eyes. He saw a glint of shame in those orbs. Both of them knew Jack’s jealousy was about to get the best of him back there.

“Jae already clarified the misunderstanding. After they talk, I’ll make sure JB apologizes to you. There’s no reason for you to go!” Jackson struggled to convince him.

“JB and Youngjae are talking?! By themselves?” Mark frowned at that.

“There wasn’t much the others or I could do. After all, JB is the freaking problem solver of Got7, right? Good luck to him!” Jackson replied, at least thankful that he wasn’t the one causing trouble within the group for a change.

“You left Jae alone?! Shit, Jackson. You’re his hyung, you should have stayed and backed him up! He can’t deal with JB alone!” Mark shook his head in disappointment and went for the door, yet Jackson grabbed his arm, making him face him.

“Hey, give the kid some credit, will you? It’s about time he grows up. Look, we’re going through a crisis here, Yien. I need you by my side. Got7 needs its eldest hyung.” Jackson hushed him, as he felt Mark’s limbs relax under his touch. Every time the Chinese name came out of the rapper’s lips, the American slowly surrendered to his will. He was about to give in his boyfriend’s kisses when his phone beeped. While a distracted Jackson sucked on the skin of his neck, the American read the text displayed on his mobile screen.

letter2u: Come outside now! There’s a red car parked right across your building. Get in it! Be quick! It’s time you get punished for not complying with my request on our Vlive session. Do it now, and do it alone, or else, a heavily R-rated video of Got7’s intimacies will be sent to Dispatch.

Mark’s eyes blinked uncontrollably. He felt like crying, but he knew he had to act fast. He suddenly pushed Jackson to bed and gave him a deep kiss. The other was surprised by his lover’s actions but said nothing. When Jackson’s both hands travelled to his butt cheeks, he got up abruptly. He had a dreadful mission to accomplish and he had no idea if he was going to remain unscathed after it was completed.

“Hold that thought, will you? Now, I have to go outside. You stay there and don’t move.” Mark commanded, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“What?! I thought we would have some nice make-up sex!” Jack’s squeal sounded beyond disappointment.

“All good things come to those who wait.” Mark quoted, as his lips trembled, his body quivered and sobs threatened to escape his throat. His voice tried to hide the panic his eyes could not. His boyfriend became alarmed as he examined Mark’s state.

“Mark, what’s wrong?” Jackson frowned as he sat up on the bed, ready to reach for his lover. However, Mark was quicker, as he ran out of the room. When the rapper registered the awkward scene that just unraveled before him, his eyes got a glimpse of Mark’s cell phone, which fell on the floor as the elder took off in a hurry. When the Chinese picked it up another message was displayed:

letter2u: I can’t wait for us to meet face-to-face! It’s about time I get to find out what Wang Gae and Park Gae see in you. Nevertheless, after I’m done with you, Markie, there will be nothing left in you for them to love!

A barefoot Jackson ran like a madman. He didn’t even take the elevator. By the time he got outside, Mark was already crossing the street while a red car sped up towards him. The street was full of witnesses. Several passersby didn’t stop to help, yet, a group of fans recognized Mark and Jackson right away and gasped at the tragic event unfolding before their eyes. As the car was about to run over Mark, a heroic Jackson pulled him back to the sidewalk and allowed the American’s weight to fall onto him. The Chinese was the one who hit his back on the concrete, but Mark, although unharmed, passed out from shock in his lover’s arms. The red car was nowhere to be seen anymore. Within seconds, a crowd surrounded them. Jackson was unable to get up as he safely held Mark to him and tried to avoid the pushing and pulling of strangers’ hands and curious eyes. Cameras and flashes were already on them. Afraid for Mark and his well-being, the rapper pleaded with the fans to give them some space but nothing worked. His Korean was muted as the freaky situation dug a string of Chinese curses out of him. Gladly, the other Got7 members could be seen approaching the couple. Surrounded by bodyguards an ambulance proceeded to drive the couple to a hospital.

Chapter Text

After the incident, everything was out in the open. Almost everything. Got7’s leader informed JYPE about the whole ordeal with the stalker and soon investigations started. The police was having a hard time looking for the criminal who almost took Mark’s life, but everywhere they looked, it was a dead end. Immediately, the company released an official note and posted it through all GOT7's official social media channels. In order to protect the group’s safety and privacy, they updated the blacklist standards regarding GOT7’ schedule. Whoever tried to cross the line, appearing near their homes, or following the boys to studios, or other places, including the respective properties' parking lots and garages without permission, would be facing a trial or even end up behind bars. The boys also moved out of the dorm for good, and each one of them acquired their own place with proper security and comfort. IGot7’s communities online were praising Jackson nonstop for having saved Mark’s life. International fans paid several homages to the Chinese and congratulated Got7 for remaining together and strong during such a critical time. The popularity of the group had skyrocketed and reached its peak, their albums became the most sold in Korea. They kept tallying Billboard 200 No. 1s weekly. The loyal fans of the group even started an online crusade in search of any useful information about the owner of the red car. Yet, no clue could be gathered regarding the anonymous sasaeng.

The dynamics of the group changed too. Their comeback was delayed and Got7 went through a phase of hiatus. The media’s attention was on them as never before. After Jackson left the hospital, his parents insisted he should come back to Hong Kong with them and never step foot in Korea again. The rapper, on the other hand, refused to leave without Mark, who was more psychologically affected by the red car incident. The American had developed some sort of mild agoraphobia and he was almost never seen out of his apartment. JB as always, was the member who kept tabs on everyone in the group. Although they moved to their own apartments, which were pretty close to the company building, the leader of Got7 would religiously check on them twice a week. His schedule of the day had nothing to do with work. He meant to visit his members’ homes and access their well-being. His first stop was at Mark’s. His hyung had been the utmost thing on his mind since the intricate events that developed in the disastrous afternoon of Youngjae’s birthday. They’d still have brief conversations through the group chat, but the elder was rarely online. Jaebeom didn’t know how the elder would react to his visit, but he went there anyway.

He rang the doorbell twice and nothing. Then he continuously knocked on the door as he started to worry about his hyung. After a few seconds, the door was opened by just a crack and a hooded Mark peeked out. When he recognized JB, he unlocked the several locks on his door and let him in.

“What brings you here? Running some errands for JYP, I take it. I am surprised you’re by yourself.” The American grumbled as he laid quietly on his couch and let JB chose a spot to sit on.

“No one sent me. I have no ulterior motive. Friends check up on each other. That’s what I’m doing, hyung.” The leader commented patiently. He knew his hyungs’ state of mind was not one of the best lately, so he braced himself.

“Friends? Really!? Well, you’ve seen me, I’m alive, you can get out now.” Mark grunted in frustration.

“Please don’t do that. I’m worried about you. You were never much talkative before, but lately, even your parents don’t hear from you as often as they used to.”

“My family came to see me last week. I told them not to come, but they insisted, even when I told them I was okay. It was a mess. They could barely leave the airport with all those paparazzi around! They had to be escorted by fucking bodyguards! I don’t want them to go through that again. Soon, they’ll have to change their numbers, get rid of hacked mobiles, change their address, increase their home security system, and live like zombies, just like me.”

“Maybe you should go back to America for a while. It might do you some good.” JB noticed the surprise on Mark’s features when he suggested the trip.

“If I go there, Jaebumie, I’m never coming back.” The despair in Mark’s voice was palpable.

“We should try everything to get you better. No matter the cost.” Jaebum wanted to prove to him that their friendship came first, even if it meant the end of Got7.

“Jackson is already sulking because I refused to go to Hong Kong with him. If I flee to the U.S. he’ll kill me.” Mark replied as he massaged his temples. Their initial idea of getting an apartment together had to be postponed since all eyes were on them now. Being separated from each other at such a difficult time was quite painful, but they had to bear with it. If Got7 was meant to return one day to their activities, their relationship should stay hidden.

“He won’t, if it means you’ll get better.” The leader genuinely cared for his hyung and Mark could not deny the sincerity in his eyes.

“It sounds like you wanna get rid of me. But anyways, I’m seeing a shrink. Let’s see how that goes.” he chuckled lightly. The leader liked that, it made him nostalgic all of sudden.

“I miss you so bad, man. I miss Got7.” JB revealed, as he wondered if he had ever experienced such a terrible phase in his life before. He longed to be on a stage again, singing and dancing with his 6 comrades.

“Same here.” Mark gulped back his tears. He was afraid of returning to them and facing all the fame that waited for him outside his door. However, he also feared never being able to come back.

“I still owe you an apology, last time the 7 of us were together in a room I disrespected you, and I’m terribly sorry for that. I hope someday you find a way in your heart to forgive me.” Jaebum humbly kneeled in front of him. Mark looked at his conflicted features and pulled him into a hug.

“I had already forgotten about that. There is nothing to be forgiven. We were losing our minds back then. It is water under the bridge.” Mark kindly whispered in his ear. He could swear JB was about to cry too, but he didn’t wanna lose face in front of his hyung. When they faced each other again, JB seemed lighter, as if a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.

“You know what? We should gather the others and go out on a vacation, the 7 of us, away from here. What do you say?” the leader suggested with a hopeful smile on his face.

“Not a good idea. I’m not ready.”

“Mark, it’s been a month. No danger will come to you, I swear. The company will protect us and soon the police will find that maniac. No one will dare to touch a hair on your head, I won’t allow it. We, your brothers, will look after you! Remember we are a family. The others would love to interact with you again. Just think about it, okay?”

“You’re very sweet. But, what about you and Youngjae? Are you guys ok?” Mark questioned as he heard the other sigh.

“We talked and he’s decided to bury his feelings for me. He says he’ll eventually fall out of love and that he has no intention of leaving the group. I truly hope so. It’s a shame I cannot return his feelings. He’s a unique human being, but I just can’t, I’m not even gay.” JB tried to explain himself. He loved Youngjae as a little brother and hated to see him down, but nothing could be done about that.

“You’ve slept with Jinyoung though.”

“Well, Youngjae scolded me about that too. But you know what? It’s a lie. Whoever told you this ludicrous fairy tale regarding a certain JJ Project romance, made that up. I don’t know where you got this absurd information from, but I never had anything like that with Jin.” Jaebeom said sincerely and Mark couldn’t help but blame himself for trying to convince Youngjae of JB’s homosexuality.

“Jackson told me that in order to keep me quiet about Jinyoung and him. He claimed you wouldn’t take the information that well.” Mark felt like a fool for believing his boyfriend once again.

“Well, I know they fucked. None of them had to tell me that. I just figured it out by myself. They suddenly started acting different towards each other one day, right after I saw Jackson leaving Jin’s room early in the previous morning. I pretended not to know what was going on, and I wished things would’ve stayed that way.” He stated as he looked firmly into Mark’s eyes. He didn’t want his hyung to think badly of him for keeping quiet about Jackson’s infidelity.

“Tell me about the other members.” Mark clenched his jaw tightly, as he changed the subject abruptly. He didn’t want to think about Jackson or Jinyoung right now.

“Mark, don’t be mad at him. It was just a white lie he made up to keep you from flirting with Jinyoung. Come on, you know how insecure the guy is.”

“His white lie made me give false hope to Youngjae. By the way, I heard from our manager that he’s preparing a solo work.” Mark insisted on discussing a different topic, the dongsaeng complied.

“Yeah, he is. I’m not sure about the details, but Jae’s not the only one doing his own thing. Bam will have his first fan meeting tour in Thailand, he’s leaving to his home country this weekend. JYPE is also trying to convince Yougyeom and me to start a unit activity, just the two of us.”

“Oh, our Thai king must be ecstatic, I’m glad for him. He deserves all the success and popularity he fought for so long. And the unit thing, don’t think too much, just go for it. I know you’re hungry for music, as much as Yuggie is crazy for dancing. That’s cool, you know, just the leader and our maknae. I’m already your number one fan.” Mark seemed excited about the idea.

“Jus2. That sounds like a nice name for a unit. I might suggest that to the company.”

“Our Actor Park is doing well in his TvN drama.” The American commented casually. JB gave him a knowing smile.

“You’re monitoring him, huh? Have you been watching He is Psychometric? Boy, that kid has talent. He’s been so busy nowadays that I hardly find him at home.”

“He often calls me, but most of the time I refuse to pick up the phone. I lost count of the missed calls I ignore every day.” Mark admitted, feeling guilty all of sudden. After that disgraceful episode with letter2u he wasn’t very fond of cellphones, social media or anything related to means of communication. Still, he didn’t waste time to catch up with his dongsaeng’s progess as an actor.

“I’m sure he’d be happy to hear your voice. He texts me now and then just to ask about you. The others also do, but not as often. They wanna see you, yet, they are honoring your wishes and giving you room to breathe. We don’t mean to crowd you. You said you needed time alone, we owe you that, hyung.”

“Yet, here you are.” Mark pointed out, raising his eyebrows over JB’s statement.

“Guilty as charged.” The leader chuckled as he nodded at his hyung, who couldn’t help but crack up at his guilty expression. Jaebum liked the sound of it.
Their joyful moment was interrupted by the noisy doorbell. The leader couldn’t miss the tension in Mark’s eyes, or the way he changed to a defensive position on the couch, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms around both his legs. His mouth gave a slight twitch when Jaebum moved to answer the door and furtively let someone in. The American sighed with relief when an unexpected guest walked in his apartment. He immediately recognized the familiar cologne he grew to love so dearly. His limbs relaxed as he heard JB and Jackson exchange some words. When the Chinese reached his living room, his eyes instantly searched for Mark’s, and when they found each other, time stood still. The thickness in the air was almost suffocating, the very placidity of the scene made JB feel uncomfortable. With a quick good-bye to the couple, he excused himself and walked out of the apartment.

Before Jackson opened his mouth to say anything, Mark stood up and ran to him. The hugged each other like there was no tomorrow. Mark let go of him just to assault his boyfriend’s lips. The Chinese welcomed the kiss, and deepened it as vigorously as he could. Avid hands travelled all over his body as he endeavored to explore every inch of Mark’s skin with his fingers. He stopped kissing the American just to get rid of the oversized hoodie that covered his chest. He marveled at the sculptural abs of his lover as he himself removed his own shirt. He could feel the desire emanating from Mark as he noticed how the American’s eyes followed his every movement. Without a warning, Jackson lifted him up from the floor and carried Mark to the couch. The American gasped at the sudden gesture, but moaned loudly when Jackson leaned over him to unzip his trousers and palm his obvious erection. Mark immediately undid Jackson’s belt and eagerly pulled his boyfriend to him. While their bodies grinded against each other, Jackson kissed, licked and bit Mark all over. The heat was becoming unbearable for Mark when his lover started massaging his navel and slowly pulled his trousers and boxers down. He suddenly felt exposed the moment his lover positioned himself between his legs and took off his remaining clothing. Jackson rubbed Mark’s hard on slowly as he watched his blushing lover pant and let a high-pitched sound escape from his luscious mouth.

“Tell me you want me.” Jackson whispered as he came close to his ear just to give it a salivating lick. The Chinese himself was hard as a rock, but he wanted to pleasure his boyfriend as much as he could.

“I want you, Jacks.” Mark murmured, with half closed eyes. He gave a rough pull on his lover’s boner, just to make a point. Jackson whimpered at the contact and almost lost control. If Mark kept teasing him like that, he would take him without any preparation.

“Tell me how you want me, Yien.” The Chinese’s husky voice sent shivers to his body.

“I want you inside me. Now, Gaga!” Jackson almost came undone as he heard his lover’s answer. He obediently licked one of his fingers and inserted it in his lover’s anus carefully. Mark’s groans and the way his delicious hips squirmed under him was driving the rapper insane. Soon another finger was in and Mark’s lips captured his again.

“You’re beautiful, Yien.” Jackson whispered as sweat covered his front. He sped up the pace of his handjob while scissoring his lover’s hole. Mark circled his legs around Jackson roughly, bringing their bodies impossibly close. Jackson seemed to be in a trance as he sucked his balls and skillfully kept stimulating his boyfriend.

“If you keep this up, I won’t last long.” Mark felt like passing out, he was drunk with pleasure. As soon as he uttered that sentence, Jackson put his length inside his mouth, blowing him mercilessly.

“Come for me, Yien.” Jackson whispered as he looked up at an undone Mark for a second and went back to his ministrations, giving his lover’s cock plenty attention. Within seconds, his fingers found the right spot inside Mark, who moaned uncontrollably.

“Oh, God, Gaga!” Mark wailed, as he released his seed inside his lover’s mouth. Jackson swallowed his spunk while witnessing his lover’s body tremble and relax underneath him. The sight was breathtaking. In a swiftly motion, he positioned himself properly between Mark’s legs and as he grabbed his lips firmly he thrust inside him. The unexpected invasion made Mark open his eyes again. His features were still clouded by pleasure when he wrapped both arms around Jack’s back and set the pace of their lovemaking. Soon, they were already writhing against each other again. Mark’s erection was back and Jackson’s hand did not neglect it for a second. He repeatedly hit the right spot inside his lover with his other hand till the American couldn’t take anymore. The Chinese felt his orgasm build up faster than he expected and he knew Mark would not last long either.

“I love you, Tuan Yien. Wo ai ni, Markiepoo.” Jackson muttered under his breath in a mix of English and Mandarin as he came inside him. When he heard the rapper’s sweet words, the American could not help but ejaculate all over his boyfriend’s stomach. Jackson fell over him totally spent.

“I love you too.” Mark replied still panting and basking in the afterglow of such an intense lovemaking. He could feel Jackson’s breath on his neck as he ran his finger through his dark hair. When his lover moved out of him, Mark felt empty, but still content in his embrace. Jackson lifted his head just to give him a passionate kiss, so fiery that his tongue almost made his lover choke. For a while, they just laid there naked on Mark’s couch, enjoying each other’s warmth.

“I have to go to Hong Kong.” Jackson broke the silence, he felt Mark’s body tense below him.

“You have a terrible timing for jokes.” Mark commented with uncertainty. Jackson then got off of him and sat on the couch. He bit his lip before continuing, his lover frowned at that.

“Mark, I can’t put my solo career on a hold. I have a Chinese label to look after. I cannot be irresponsible. Team Wang needs me back, plus, I aim to release an album in America. I’ve been in contact with the right people for a while.” Jackson spilled everything he wanted to say since he entered Mark’s apartment.

“Wow! Wang, that’s so like you! You freakin’ disappoint me, then you make me fall for you all over again. You cheat on me, and say you love me. You lie to me compulsively and save my fucking life. Now you fuck me and you abandon me. This relationship has always been an emotional rollercoaster for me, I shouldn’t be surprised at all!” Mark angrily got up from the couch and ignoring the vestiges of cum all over him, he started getting dressed. Jackson sighed and started doing the same.

“I know how it sounds like. But it has to be done, honey! I have a business to run, one I started from nothing! Part of my dream is there, I’ve got to be there. I want to be there, with you, of course.” Jackson emphasized that last information, still hoping the American would drop everything and accompany him.

“For what!? You’ll busy all the time in there, I would only be in your way! And what about those fucking paparazzi! We wouldn’t have a second of peace.” Mark spat, trying to hold back his tears. He couldn’t stand being away from his boyfriend now that he was so vulnerable.

“I’ll find a way to avoid them. Mark, please. Come with me, baby, I beg of you. I won’t be able to function knowing that you’re here all by yourself!” Jackson whined as he tried to hold his lover’s hand. Mark shoved his fingers away and took a step back from him.

“Just go!” He was screaming now. The American’s eyes brimmed with tears as he pointed to the door.

“Damn it, Mark, don’t be like this. I love you and I worry about you. Let me protect you.” Jackson insisted as he took a step forward.

“Do what you have to do. I do not need your protection, I’m not a child. Now get out of my apartment. You can go to China, to the U.S or wherever the hell you wanna go. Just leave me out of your plans. I’ll be staying in Korea when you return. If you return.” Mark stated firmly as he wiped a teardrop from his cheeks. Jackson couldn’t bear to see his boyfriend in that state, but several employees depended on him overseas. His plane ticket waited for him in his car, and he had already made up his mind. He knew he couldn’t back down from that trip, neither did Mark.

“I will be back, Mark. Just wait for me, okay? I’ll return as soon as I can.” He muttered quietly, as he swiftly grabbed his lover by the back of his neck and kissed his lips. The contact of their mouths was brief. Mark pushed him away, afraid to give in.

“Go, you’re gonna be late! I’m sure you waited till the last minute to tell me you are going there.”

“Remember who has just kissed you. Remember who we are.” Jackson made eye contact with him one more time, and walked out the door. Mark collapsed on the floor crying his eyes out. He started panicking when he realized he was all alone again. He crouched on the floor of his apartment as he waited for Jackson to regret his decision and return to him. He stayed there for 2 hours and he finally convinced himself that his boyfriend had really chosen work over him. So, he finally stood up, went to his bathroom cabinet, took a bunch of pills and swallowed them with the help of a random bottle of whiskey.

As soon as he realized what he did, he regretted it. He didn’t wanna die. He wanted to see Jackson when he returned. He still had ambitions to rejoin Got7 and make music with his members. He realized how weak he was being. He felt like a coward for doing something so stupid just because his boyfriend had work overseas. He felt remorseful doing it right after JB invited him for a group vacation. He wouldn’t have the chance to see how he and Yougyeom would be successful with the Jus2 unit, nor he would be able to visit the Milan Fashion Week with Bambam again. His dongsaeng would probably postpone his Fist Fanmeeting in Thailand just to attend the funeral. Then Mark wondered how his parents would feel betrayed when they learned about his suicide, after all, he promised them he would be okay. He wondered how Jackson would be affected, although he is a resilient being, Mark’s death would certainly put his life on hold. And then, he thought of a certain singer, who once called him an angel and wished him all the happiness in the world. He thought of his precious Jinyoungie, and how despicable he was being, giving his favorite dongsaeng a reason to cry. The American hurriedly grabbed his car keys and hoped that the meds wouldn’t make him dizzy while driving. His destination was close, but he didn’t know how bad that threatening stomachache was going to get. He drove fast and luckily, he arrived safely. He got out of the car as sweat covered his body. He entered the building, took the elevator and found himself in front of a door. His vision was blurring, his legs wanted to give out. Before he could ring the bell, the door opened, revealing a surprised Jinyoung who was about to leave his apartment. Before he could say or do anything, the elder threw up all over him, as he supported himself on his dongsaeng’s firm arms. Ignoring the smell of the substance on his brand new jacket, Jinyoung immediately caught Mark before he could fall on the ground and ushered him inside.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I don’t wanna die.” Mark repeated dejectedly. The worried expression etched on Jinyoung’s face made him feel even guiltier. The dongsaeng helped him to his armchair and quickly crouched in front of his hyung.

“Mark, talk to me, what’s wrong?! Did someone do something to you?” Jinyoung was trying not to panic, as he touched Mark’s sweating cheek and searched his eyes. As the elder shook his head in denial, he rephrased his question. “Did you take anything?”

“Some pills. I didn’t bother to check what they were. I just shoved them down my throat. Please, forgive me, I wasn’t thinking straight! I don’t know why I did it, I’m stupid, Jinyoungie.” Mark told him in a hurry, as he felt like vomiting again. Jinyoung’s expression darkened, as he got up abruptly.

“We’re going to the hospital right now.” Jinyoung stated as he lifted Mark from his chair like he weighted nothing. The sudden movement made the elder nauseous again as he threw up even more. This second time, tiny vestiges of pills came out of his throat.

“Let it all out.” Jinyoung exclaimed, as he let the American kneel on his carpet. The singer inserted a finger inside the elder’s mouth in order to induce more vomit out of him. Mark did not stop him. He felt safe when he noticed Jinyoung’s other arm circle around his shoulder. After a few more discharges, Mark felt like he had emptied himself of whatever was making him nauseous. He felt drained, but sighed with relief when the sweating ceased. They waited for a few minutes as Mark continued in his bent position and Jinyoung supported his shoulders firmly. The carpet was a mess, but none of them seemed to care about that.

“Can you get up? I need to drive you to a hospital.” Jinyoung reminded him, as the elder seemed to ponder his words.

“If I go, everybody will know what I did.” Mark got up slowly and sat on the same armchair he was earlier without the other’s support. He didn’t look as pale as before. Jinyoung observed every single feeble move he made and looked at him disapprovingly.

“I thought you said you didn’t wanna die. Or perhaps, you were delirious.” Jinyoung scolded as he took off his leather jacket and shirt, both ruined by Mark’s vomiting, and threw them on the floor. The elder couldn’t help but notice how fit the singer was, it was clear Jinyoung had been working out lately. His six-pack was mouthwatering, and the jeans pants he was wearing, molded his peach perfectly. Mark struggled to look away.

“I’m gonna survive. No need for doctors.” The American managed to say as he glued his eyes to the floor. He felt ashamed and worn out. Jinyoung ignored his words.

“Do you want me to carry you? We’re going, Mark hyung, you want it, or not. Now, get up.” Jinyoung entered one of the rooms of his apartment and quickly returned with a towel and a change of clothes. He dropped them on the sofa, next to the armchair. He was already wearing a V-neck t-shirt, unfortunately. Mark was surely enjoying the show from earlier.

“Please, Jin. I really don’t want to draw more attention to me. I’ll be ruining Bam’s trip to Thailand, it will be impossible for Youngjae, Jaebeom and Yougyeom to focus on their upcoming schedules, and Jackson will unnecessarily return to Korea. The fans will flip! Trust me, it’s not a good idea.” Mark pleaded as he stood up again and walked to his dongsaeng.

“You need professional help, Mark. And I can’t give you that. You’ve just attempted suicide, for Christ’s sake! We don’t even know what effect those pills might have inside of you. You expect me to watch you die in the middle of my living room?!” Jinyoung was furious now, he tried to keep his temper from getting the best of him, but his hyung had dangerously crossed the line. His ire mingled with his fear, and that was a violent mixture. Unconsciously, he grabbed the American by the shoulder to shake some sense into him. The other almost lost his balance, but didn’t move. Mark knew he deserved his contempt. What he didn’t know was that the singer wanted to cry and scream at the same time. Jinyoung wanted to hold him in his arms and never let go. He wanted to slap and kiss the American before him, but he knew he couldn’t. He was terrified to lose him, and he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he let anything happen to his hyung. He remembered feeling like that before, when he found Jackson and Mark on that sidewalk, across from their former flat. To imagine that someone wanted to cause him harm made his blood boil. And to see the American unconscious in the rapper’s arm was a scene he prayed to never have to witness again.

“You’re hurting me.” Mark started sobbing all of sudden. Jinyoung realized he was doing and let him go. He crossed his arms around himself and looked away, trying to look more composed.

“Stop crying, Mark. I don’t wanna cause you any more pain. If you want to stay here, no problem, I won’t mind. But I can’t let you go back to your apartment like this.” Jinyoung said quietly, no trace of anger left in his voice. Mark wiped his tears and nodded at him. The American smiled weakly and finally accepted the towel and clothes his dongsaeng offered him. He picked them up from the sofa and looked at the younger expectantly.

“May I use your bathroom? I’m dying to get this stench off of me.” Mark said without thinking the word ‘dying’ and instantly regretted his poor choice of word. Jinyoung gasped at that, but showed him the bathroom.

“Call my name if you need anything. If you feel dizzy, sick or whatever, scream and I’ll be right here with you in a second.” Jinyoung told him firmly as he gave Mark the privacy he needed to get out of those clothes and clean himself. The elder appreciated his kindness, more that his dongsaeng could imagine.
While he washed his body, he could still see the love bites Jackson had left on his skin that evening. He wished they would never disappear, but he knew they would soon fade and the souvenir of his boyfriend’s fiery passion would be gone. He wondered how long he would be away and how long he would be able to endure his absence. When he got out of the shower, dried himself and put on Jin’s clean clothes he felt lighter and even serene.
He pulled his wet hair back, and looked at the mirror just to stare at himself for a while. He hoped he looked healthy, he didn’t wanna worry the younger, nor end up in a hospital bed any sooner. He saw a spare toothbrush left for him on the sink and used it to brush his teeth. He wondered when did Jinyoung put it there without him noticing, so thoughtful his dongsaeng. After making sure his breath didn’t smell like a garbage can, he examined each detail of the bathroom. Everything seemed elegant and spotless, just like his Jinyoungie. He smiled at that. However, something else caught his attention. Suddenly his nostrils were assaulted by an exquisite smell of chicken soup coming from the kitchen. He quickly got out of the bathroom and looked for the source of such a killing smell.

As Mark tiptoed to the kitchen, he decided to surprise the singer and give him a scare. But when he stared at Jinyoung’s collected back and dependable shoulders while he washed the dishes, he changed his mind. His dongsaeng had already gone through a lot that night. So he did what it felt natural to do. He ran to Jinyoung and gave him an unexpected back hug. The singer felt a shiver run down his spine when he felt the American’s warm breath on his neck. He missed having him so close, but the intimate gesture should not last long. He wasn’t ready for that, they had to talk.

“Thank you.” The elder whispered in his ear as his arms remained on Jinyoung’s waist. As the singer recovered from the shock of having his hyung’s arms around him, he turned off the faucet, dried his hand and turned around to face him. As the other realized how close their faces were when Jinyoung turned around, he let go of him and sat on the kitchen counter.

“You are thanking me for what, exactly?” the younger started tentatively.

“For the shower, the clean clothes, the toothbrush, your friendship.” Mark answered quietly.

“Hyung, I just had to call the director of He is Psychometric and make up an excuse for my absence tonight. You ought to tell me what’s wrong. After witnessing you come undone on my carpet, I deserve the truth, don’t you think? If you really consider me a friend you’ll tell me why you tried to kill yourself.” Jinyoung stated firmly and waited for an answer.

“Jackson left me earlier this evening because he had to work.” He replied sorrowfully.

“And?” the younger insisted, he couldn’t believe that was the only reason behind his despair.

“He flew to China and left me here.” Mark clarified, as he looked away. Jinyoung was growing impatient, so he closed the distance between them and held both his cheeks, forcing his eyes to meet his.

“And?!” his voice sounded edgy. When Mark’s eyes stared at his, he didn’t like what he saw.

“If Got7 doesn’t make a comeback soon, I’m afraid he’ll never return.” Mark confessed his fears as Jinyoung finally understood what haunted his eyes.

“Do you think the group is the only thing he cares about? Don’t be silly, he loves you, Mark. He’ll come back, you just have to be patient. As for our group, we’re not over yet. Whenever he returns, his band and his boyfriend will be intact.” Jinyoung hated to be the one telling him that, but he had to.

“I can’t barely get out of my own apartment, how will I be able to dance and sing on a stage again, knowing that psycho could be there, waiting for me in the shadows? How can I ignore that this person might be amongst our fans, taking pictures, filming us, and at the same time planning how to murder one of our members?” Mark bit his lip nervously, as he kept his eyes glued to Jinyoung’s.

“You need to find your strength, Mark. I know it’s there inside of you, you just gotta let it out. Remember the reason you left The U.S and struggled to become an idol in Korea. Remember the reason you came out to your parents and asked for Jackson’s family blessing, remember why you didn’t give up the exhausting hours of practice and tight schedules. Remember when you injured your leg, and even though the doctors told you to stay put you, still sang with us at every single concert. Remember the reason you always end up crying when we finish a successful world tour and all our Ahgases sing along and cheer for us. Remember when you had to receive the news of your grandmother’s passing in the middle of our Eyes on You in Seoul concert, and although your heart was in pieces, you sang and danced bravely with the six of us till the last minute of it. Remember the reason Got7 debuted and the seven of us became brothers. Remember that feeling, Mark, and I’m sure that when you do, you’ll be able to accomplish anything. After all the stalking, the blackmailing, the threats, the attempted murder, you stayed here in Seoul. That should mean something, Mark. And don’t tell me you’re a freaking agoraphobic, cause hours ago you got into your own car, drove all the way here while drugged, and found your way to my door without a hassle. ” Jinyoung kissed his forehead after finishing his monologue and gently ruffled the American’s hair.

“Saranghae, Jinyoungie.” Mark said as he smiled brightly and pulled his dongseang into a tight hug. The singer had to bear once again with the overpowering proximity of the elder and pretended not to hear those meaningful words come out of his mouth. He knew Mark only liked him as a friend. He just allowed the contact because he knew Mark needed all the reassurance he could get now. He tried to keep his feelings in check, but the intoxicating smell of his shampoo on Mark’s hair wasn’t helping. Its fragrance never felt so inviting. It was so inebriating that he unconsciously nuzzled his hyung’s hair. He felt Mark shudder and brake their embrace. When he unwillingly let go of the American, he could notice how his cheeks turned red. Whatever Jinyoung had done during that hug, made him embarrassed. The singer proudly smirked at that, but didn’t comment on it.

“Are you ready for my chicken soup? You look skinnier than before, I could feel the bones sticking from your chest when you wrapped your arms around me.” The singer lifted him from the counter and brought him to the table. Mark blushed even more, and Jinyoung felt like he could get used to that sight. The American looked so cute and small! Jinyoung definitely felt like a huyng in that kitchen.

“I’m anxious to taste the food of Got7’s Mom again.” Mark chuckled shyly, as he still avoided the actor’s eyes. His dongsaeng stuffed him with food and put him to his own bed. Mark protested, since he didn’t wanna intrude, but the younger convinced him anyway. They had shared a bed before, no big deal. The hyung had no idea of how Jinyoung stayed up all night watching him breathe slowly, studying how easily the air was taken into his lungs and was smoothly expelled, over and over again. The singer promised himself that if he noticed any sign of irregularity, he would wake him up and drive him to the hospital, even if he had to tie the American down. Yet, there was no more alarming events that night. Jinyoung’s eyes finally closed as he let his body rest against his hyung’s.

Chapter Text

Next morning a distressed Jinyoung woke up to an empty bed. He felt tired as hell, his eyes begged to close again, but his brains acted fast. He wished he had dreamed all the events of last night, but he could tell everything was real the moment he realized what he was wearing. The same shirt he had to change into in order to get rid of his hyung’s vomit.

As soon as he realized Mark wasn’t next to him, he jumped to the worst possible conclusions. Maybe his hyung could be lying dead somewhere around his apartment, or he could’ve gone out by himself and tried it again. The singer immediately got up from his bed and yelled the elder’s name as he uneasily walked around the rooms.

He sighed with relief when he noticed movement in his kitchen. As soon as he reached there, he was greeted with a dashing smile and a quick kiss on the cheek. He couldn’t help but hold his breath for a second. His hyung’s morning hair and face were flawless. He asked himself how could a human being look so good without any effort.

“Good morning, Jinyoungie.” Mark regarded him sweetly as he handed him a glass of juice.

“Morning! Making yourself at home, I see.” The younger commented as he eyed the mess on the kitchen table and accepted the juice. The floor would also need some extra cleaning later. But he didn’t worry about that now. He just realized how domestic they looked and how amazing it felt to have Mark attempting to prepare breakfast in his own kitchen.

“I was going to bring you breakfast in bed, but here you are. You ruined my plans.” The elder shrugged and pouted a bit. Jinyoung found that adorable, his hyung cuteness never failed to dazzle him. The singer took a sip from his glass and went to examine what was on the stove.

“Bacon and eggs! Mark hyung, that’s so American of you.” He gave him a funny shocked expression.

“Well, you made me kitchen soup last night! I just thought I should return the gesture. Moreover, you have work today, I figured you would need a breakfast of champions.” he winked at his dongseang, almost giving him a heart attack. The elder had no idea of the huge effect that simple gesture had on him.

“Well, thank you. But I’d rather stay in today. I’m not sure about living you here all by yourself. I might return and have no apartment at all.” Jinyoung informed him jokingly, hoping his hyung wouldn’t notice the lingering tone of concern in his voice.

“Don’t patronize me, Park Jinyoung. I can perfectly look after your humble lair, while you’re out. You should hurry and go to work already. I can’t have you missing any more filming days because of me.” Mark felt thankful for his donsaeng’s consideration, but he hated to feel like an emotional cripple.

“It’s not like last night didn’t happen, you know.” He crossed his arms around himself assuming a serious stance. He stared firmly at his elder.

“I’m going to be all right. You just need to stop fussing over me. Don’t I look fine?” Mark protested as he rolled his eyes. The younger couldn’t notice any sign of anxiety on his face. He frowned at that.

“That’s what worries me. You were an emotional wreck hours ago. You want me to play along and pretend you didn’t try to commit suicide last night? ” Jinyoung pressed as he threw his arms in the air. He didn’t wanna fight, yet he didn’t want to keep quiet about it either.

“Stop saying that! I’ve learned my lesson. I regret doing what I did, please, believe me. You need to let me prove to you that I can walk on my own legs. Trust me on this, I’ll never disappoint you like that again. It was your door I knocked on last night. I want to live. I have no intention of checking out of my life, not when I have someone like you in it.” The American emphasized his last sentence, as he reached for Jinyoung’s hands. The other looked away defeated. He wanted to believe those words, they sounded so sincere! He wondered if it was okay to give him a chance.

“Look, I’m gonna call here whenever I get the chance to do it. It’s quite busy at the studio, but I’ll find time to make this call. You pick it up as fast as you can, or I swear to God, I’ll send a fucking ambulance here.” The dongsaeng warned him, as he felt the other’s hands relax.

“You’re not going to regret this, I promise you.” Mark assured him, as he wrapped his arms around the younger excitedly. The other almost forced him to let go. He needed to get ready for work.

“I hope not. Are you really sure you’re felling all right? Do you need anything? Whatever it is, just tell me before I leave.” Jinyoung sounded anxious, not sure if he had made the right call.

“Hey, I already went out this morning and brought the bacon home. Literally. Now, it’s time for you to do your thing, okay?” Mark smirked at him lively. It was at that moment the younger realized the elder had indeed gone out. There was no bacon in his fridge before, he was sure of that. The bacon on the stove was a proof that his hyung went shopping while he was sleeping. He wondered how he managed to go out without being recognized.

“That was bold of you. Please stay in while I’m out, and behave.” The dongsaeng smiled proudly at him, gulped down his juice, took a mouthful of scrambled eggs, and went to get ready for work.

After Jinyoung left, Mark put on some music and started cleaning the mess he had made in the kitchen. He tried not to think about Jackson or what he was doing. He wanted to check his cellphone, to say hi to the group chat and reconnect with his peers, but he had left the mobile at his apartment and since he promised his dongsaeng not to leave, he didn’t dare to go back there. When he was done with the cleaning, he went to the living room and turned on the TV. He shuffled the channels but nothing seemed to interest him. He soon noticed that the carpet he had ruined last night was replaced by a new one. Jinyoung had probably changed it, he assumed. Such a house wife!
After a few hours he suddenly heard the sound of the door lock moving and figured out his dongsaeng must’ve had forgotten something, after all it was early for him to come back from work. But when he heard the door close again, someone else walked in.

“Oh, annyeonghaseyo!” the man greeted, looking surprised. The American had seen that face before on TV, that guy was a celebrity.

“Oh, hi.” Mark looked startled, but still bowed to the man respectfully. Realization hit him when he noticed that actor was Jinyoung’s co-worker. He was playing the role of a special investigation unit prosecutor in the series his dongsaeng was casted.

“I’m Kim Kwon, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. It’s Mark, right? I’ve heard a lot about you. Got7 is trending these days, but most of the time it’s Nyoungie that keeps me updated about you.” He said politely as he smiled at the kpop idol and shook his hands.

“Nice to meet you too, Kim Kwon sshi. You’re correct, I’m Mark. Sorry, but how did you get in here?” Mark wondered why the hell that actor entered his dongsaeng’s place as if it was his own.

“Oh, Nyoungie gave me a copy of his key.” Kwon said with satisfaction on his features. Mark frowned at the information.

“You guys must have been pretty close lately. Cause he wouldn’t give that to just anyone. This key means that he trusts you a lot.” The idol pushed for more information.

“Oh, I take it as a new stage of our relationship development. It’s been a month we’ve been dating, so I guess it feels natural for him to do stuff like that now. Actually, today is our anniversary.” The actor clarified, as he showed Mark the flower bouquet he had been hiding behind his back this entire time. The American’s eyes grew as big as saucers, his heart skipped a beat and threated to skip some more.

“You are dating Jinyoung!? For a month?” the idol couldn’t hide his perplexity.

“It was supposed to be a secret, but since you’re his friend, I don’t see why I should keep this from you.” Kwon affirmed, totally unaware of Mark’s inner turmoil.

“I see.” It was all Mark managed to say, still a bit uncertain.

“He didn’t tell me he had a guest though. I should’ve imagined that something huge must’ve happened for him to skip work yesterday. You happened. So what do you think of them?” The actor smirked as he pointed to the flowers and eyed the American expectantly.

“I’m pretty sure he’s allergic to these.” Mark pointed out with a bit of satisfaction.

“I should’ve consulted some of the Got7 members before getting ahead of myself. You guys probably know his tastes and allergies more than anyone else.” Kwon looked disappointed as he laid the bouquet on the center table.

“Who else knows about you two?” the American could already picture how Jinyoung was going to be teased by the other younger members for seeing an older guy. But his dongsaeng was always too mature to connect with people of his own age anyways.

“That fierce leader of yours. It just took him one visit to the studio to realize what was going on between us. Im Jaebeom is quite sharp. I’d have liked him more if he didn’t threaten to kill me the first day we met.” Kwon answered simply, as he remembered how the Got7 leader made him promise to properly look after his dongsaeng’s heart.

“He can be unnerving sometimes. I know what you mean.” Mark said casually, already thinking of an excuse to leave the apartment. He internally praised Jaebeom for his initiative and he secretly hoped the leader would team up with him to get that man out of his dongsaeng’s life.

“I’m glad you didn’t react as badly as he did. I mean, you could’ve mentioned the age gap, the fact that we work together or maybe whine because he would spend less time with his friends now that he’s busy dating me. You seem to be quite understanding. I don’t know why he didn’t tell you. I mean, if you slept here, you must have noticed the spare toothbrush in the bathroom.” Kwon had just revealed something the idol wasn’t ready to know. The item in the bathroom wasn’t for him, and surely the actor had spent more than one night under Jinyoung’s roof. Suddenly he felt left out. He struggled not to think of what those two actors would often do behind closed doors.

“Well, I haven’t been available lately. I guess we are not as tight as we used to be. Let’s just say that while I absorbed myself in solitude, the rest of the group moved on.” The American could not stand the fact that his dongsaeng was seeing someone older, famous, rich, and as desirable as the actor standing before him. He was even more bewildered, by the fact that the man seemed to know so much about him.

“Oh, right! That episode with the red car and the obsessed fan. Kid, no one can blame you for becoming a bit antisocial after that. You’ve been on the papers for quite a while because of it. All tabloids had your face in it, yours and the Chinese’s. It’s understandable that an idol would feel like isolating himself in the aftermath of such a nasty incident!” Kwon’s voice almost sounded consoling. Mark couldn’t deny that his first impression of him was favorable, but still, it was his dearest dongsaeng the guy was dating. He could not possible befriend that man, not when he was the one kissing Jinyoung’s immaculate lips every day.

“Wow, I don’t know what to say. You sound like you know more about me than my own mother.” Mark said dryly as he raised his eyebrows at the actor.

“I’m sorry. It’ just that you are a constant topic in our conversations. Sometimes I feel that I already know you. Honestly, you’re all he talks about. One day he worries because you don’t pick up his calls, the other he complains because you refuse to ask for help, or because you don’t let anyone in, and so on. Then he makes me watch a bunch of Got7 concerts and read magazines with you in it. I don’t even consider you a stranger anymore. Yet, I must add that none of the pictures, or videos I’ve seen of you did any justice to your beauty.” Kwon gave him a funny smile. The American didn’t like that. He noticed they’ve been standing in the middle of the living room all this time. Therefore, he suggested they should at least sit down. Mark did, while the other just walked around the center table.

“It’s not my place to offer you something to drink, since it’s not my home, you know. Actually, you’re the one with the key, so if you feel like having anything, just help yourself with whatever you find useful in those cupboards or the fridge.” Mark said nervously as he pointed to the kitchen. Compliments about his physical appearance always made him disconcerted. So he wanted to distract the actor, make him look elsewhere. But the other’s stare still burned on him.

“I’m not hungry, neither thirst. However, I’d like to have something, or perhaps, someone.” The Korean said shamelessly as he winked at him. Mark was taken aback.

“What the heck!” Mark got up alarmed. The phone started ringing, but the American was too distressed to even notice it.

“I see you’re not very fond of compliments. Nevertheless, you should be used to these kinds of pick up lines. No one can deny your handsomeness. I work with a bunch of actors and actresses who are inevitably forced to rely on a great make-up artist every single day in order to make them look, at least, presentable. You, on the other hand, you just had to be born. ” Kwon commented as he unexpectedly took a large step towards the other and one of his hands moved to touch the American’s cheek. Mark took a step back avoiding the contact.

“That’s inappropriate, you’re making me uncomfortable. You’re Jinyoung’s boyfriend and I’m not on the market. I’d appreciate if you’d kindly take a step back. Or I’ll make you.” Mark threatened, as he glared at the actor defiantly.

“What are you gonna do, Markie? Is your knight in shining armor Wang hiding here somewhere? As far as I know, he’s the only one who could save you right now.” Kwon didn’t move but he didn’t look intimidated either. Mark’s heartbeats sped up, he felt like he would hyperventilate soon. He tried his best not to panic.

“Please, don’t come closer.” the American’s voice almost failed as he saw the man move dangerously close to him. They were almost one inch apart now.

“Are you the begging kind, Mark? Interesting!” Kwon’s warm breath hit him in the face. The American couldn’t believe what was happening. But he wouldn’t let that guy have his way with him.

“Stop!” Mark muttered almost inaudible as he pushed at the man’s chest vigorously. He did not apply too much strength into it, but the other easily took a distance from him. Before he could make a run to the door, he heard the older suddenly burst into a fit of laughter, throwing himself on the larger couch.

“You should’ve seen your face! I am a better actor than he is, aren’t I? I’ve always wanted to play the bad boy role! Now tell me, shouldn’t I get an Oscar?” the actor grinned, as he looked at Mark’s shocked expression.

The American was never fond of pranks. It was fun to see other people getting pranked, but he never felt like taking part in it. Even Got7 never dared to engage on practical jokes against him. They knew he seldom took them well. Rage took over him as he eyed the guy snickering at him, but before he went ballistic on the guy and started throwing punches, a worried Jinyoung entered the apartment in a hurry.

“Why the hell didn’t you pick up the phone!” The dongseang yelled exasperated, before taking in the presence of someone else in his living room. Mark didn’t answer him, but glared at him accusatively. Jinyoung’s face became as red as a tomato when Kwon got up from the sofa, gave him a flirty smile and went to give his lover a peck on his lips.

“I missed you.” Kwon spoke softly, no trace of mockery left on his voice. Mark almost died instantly as he watched how his dongsaeng seemed to accept the man’s touch and smile awkwardly at his words. It took a while before the singer could find his voice again.

“So, no need for introductions, I take it.” Jinyoung looked a bit uncomfortable between the two men, he avoided Mark’s eyes as they burned on him.

“Not at all. Your Mark hyung is exactly how I pictured him on my mind.” Kwon gave him a playful smile as he wrapped his arm around Jinyoung’s shoulder. The American scowled at him and walked to the front door.

“I don’t understand. Where are you going? You can’t leave!” a desperate Jinyoung managed to catch up with him and take a hold of his arm. Mark quickly shoved his hands away and looked at him sharply. Jinyoung looked back at him, confusion in his dark orbs.

“I’ve extended my stay for too long. It’s time I return home. Do not follow me if you know what’s good for you. By the way, happy anniversary.” Mark snarled as he stomped out of the singer’s view. His words hit his dongseang like a ton of bricks. Jinyoung didn’t expect that harsh response, or his hyung’s cold stare, not after the lively moments they had spent that morning. Not after Mark opened up to the singer the night before, voicing all his fears. Not after he felt like they could reconnect once again since letter2u happened. He felt like crying, a pang of pain hit his chest and threatened to render him miserable. However, when he heard soft steps approach him and closed the door Mark left open, he closed his eyes tightly, relieved that he didn’t have to be alone at that moment. Kwon’s arm felt safe and inviting. The younger didn’t want to feel downhearted anymore, so he just buried himself in his boyfriend’s embrace.

Jinyoung returned to work that day just after he called JB and explained the situation. Partially. He just mentioned Mark had showed up at his apartment, they argued and when the situation got out of hand, the American left. Surprisingly, the leader informed him that Mark was at JYP building and he even stayed to watch Jus2 first choreography practice. According to him, Mark showed up out of nowhere and had lunch with them after informing he was flying to China. It seemed that his parents had agreed to travel with him and visit the Great Wall of China, one of the items in the American’s wish list. Jinyoung immediately guessed Mark was going after Jackson and somehow he felt dispirited. He was tempted to tell the leader about Mark’s suicide attempt, but once he heard he would be with his parents and soon reunited with his lover, he kept his mouth shut.

Chapter Text

A full three weeks passed and Jinyoung kept track of Mark’s every move through his social media. Weibo, Twitter and Instagram updates, the younger would check all of them. It seemed his hyung was on a tour around the world. He had visited Bambam’s Black Feather Fan Meeting, then he was in Singapore for Jus2 showcase and it seemed he would also be their MC in another showcase in Macau. Youngjae texted him excitedly when he informedthat soon he would meet Mark, Jaebeom and Yougyeom at Tokyo for another showcase. Jinyoung was truly glad that Mark had gotten rid of his fear of cameras, crowds and whatever was making him prisoner at his own apartment, it seemed his hyung wouldn’t have a problem to return to Got7, in fact, he was already with them. The singer sighed, as he realized he was the only one Mark seemed to be avoiding all this time. He wondered if the American had a chance to pay a visit to Jackson. The Chinese too had been in his mind lately, he wondered if Mark’s change of attitude was due to some improvement in their strained relationship. He was surprised when he saw at his tvN’s drama set a coffee truck his band mate had sent him. He immediately went to Instagram and expressed his gratitude to his dearest Wang Gae, who, he in fact, really missed. Next week he also had to thank Jus2 for another coffee truck and he couldn’t miss some fans' comments about Mark’s indifference to his acting career. They went on about how Mark supported all the other members but didn’t show any support for his favorite dongsaeng. Some Markjin fans even called the American out online and demanded some sort of initiative. And it worked beautifully. The following week Jinyoung couldn’t help but smile when he saw the design of the truck his hyung had sent him, full of images of one of Got7’s favorite ship. But the words on it were quite enigmatic, he wondered what Mark meant by being “inside him”.
On the other side of the world, Mark arrived in Macau. The Jus2 unit were already in their hotel rooms when Mark landed. He couldn’t believe he was so close to Hong Kong again. He remember Jackson’s complaints through the phone when Mark went to China and didn’t even stop by to see him. The rapper said he would be with him soon, but Mark brushed that off, knowing his boyfriend was probably too busy to even think of him. He wouldn’t dare to get his hopes up. Yet, as soon as he entered his hotel room, which was across from the other two Got7 members’, he had the shock of his life when he was face-to-face with his boyfriend.
“How come you are here?” Mark managed to say still stupefied as Jackson wrapped his arms around him and closing the door behind them.
“Aren’t you happy to see me? I came all this way just to have a look at my lover’s new silver hair.” Jackson removed his arms from the American just to examine his new hairdo. But when he tried to touch it, his lover moved away from him.
“It’s been months and now you decide to show up! I thought you were too busy for me.” Mark snapped, as images of their last encounter flashed though his mind. And of course, its consequences.
“I’m one hour away from Hong Kong. I mean to go back there soon. I’m still busy, it’s been chaotic, lately. But I needed to get my mind off work a bit, so I wanted to come here and check upon you. The rapper sighed tiredly.
“Check up on me? Really? Because it seems the only reason you came here is because you need to relieve some stress! Actually I’m glad to hear you at least see me as a nice distraction or some sort of pastime. I’m flattered, baby!” Mark retorted sarcastically crossing his arms around himself defensively.
“It’s so like you! Everything I say you turn into something negative. I’ve gotta admit, your bitchy mood is getting old, Mark. It seems you’re always trying to pick a fight with me, and you blame for leaving you back at Seoul?! How can you doubt my feelings when I was the one who saved your life! Or have you forgotten that tiny detail?” Jackson was too tired to raise his voice, but his tone was stern.
“What do you want from me, Jackson?” Mark questioned quietly, after his boyfriend bluntly rubbed in his face that if it wasn’t for him, the American wouldn’t even be alive.
“We’ve been away from each other for too long. Long distance relationships are tough. We need to spice up things a bit, let’s experiment. Let’s go out.” The Chinese said victoriously, as he saw his boyfriend’s eyes soften and nod at him. At that point, Mark would comply with every single wish of his.
“Where to?” Mark looked at him defeated. Jackson put a cap on him, a mask and did the same for himself. He then grabbed Mark’s hand and left the hotel with him. As they got into a cab, the rapper grinned at him.
“You’re not going to regret this. It’s a secluded place, no one will know what we do or who we are in there. Only politics, important rich people go there. Discretion is their first rule.” Jackson assured him as he gave an address to the driver. Mark looked quizzically at Jack, wondering if it was a good idea to follow him to wherever he was leading him to.
When they arrived at the location and entered the strange house, Mark couldn’t help but gasp. There were naked men and woman everywhere, there were a few other guests in a large parlor, smoking, dancing, drinking, fornicating, but they all had their masks on.
“Is this your solution to my so-called frigidity? Bring me to this ‘Eyes wide Shut’ kind of scenario?” Mark said in disbelief, while he couldn’t even imagine what was waiting for him in there.
“We are waited upstairs, let’s go up.” Jackson took his hands again and led him to a sumptuous room on the second floor. Once the lights were flicked on, Mark noticed a luxurious bed in the middle of it. Every piece of furniture in the room looked expensive and well-designed. Yet, what really caught his attention was the gorgeous naked man laying sexily on the opulent carpet.
“Explain to me why did you bring me to a fucking brothel, Wang Jia Er? Mark was dumbfounded with the whole situation, and he needed his answer, now.
“He’s all yours.” Jackson replied like it was nothing. He motioned to the naked man to approach and he instantly got up. The man walked to them and sensuously wrapped and arm around Mark’s waist. The American sighed with dissatisfaction moving away from his touch. The naked man winked at the Chinese and just moved to the bed expectantly.
“Jackson, what’s going on? Do you expect me to sleep with a prostitute!?” Mark was scandalized, hoping that was just a really bad nightmare.
“You don’t want him? Because you clearly don’t want me. So, just go ahead and enjoy it, it’s my present to you. Would you mind if I stay and watch?” Jackson asked a bit impatiently.
“Please tell me this is a joke.” Mark whispered as he nervously ran a hand through his silky hair.
“I know you can’t get out of your head what happened between Jinyoung and me. After you’re done here, we’ll be even-steven.” Jackson stared firmly at his eyes. Mark suddenly froze as realization hit him.
“Do you think your one night stand with him is the cause of all our problems? Do you really think I’d do the same to you out of spite?! You can’t be serious.” Mark massaged his temples as he started feeling a terrible headache approach.
“Stop talking. Just fuck him already, Mark!” Jackson lost his temper, as he roughly dragged his boyfriend to bed and started undressing him. The American didn’t try to stop him. When he was only on his boxers though, he looked up to Jackson and said what Jackson always feared to hear.
“He’s not Jinyoung, though. You may force me to fuck a stranger, but deep down you know the root of all our problems. And to finally answer your question, yes, Jack, something changed after that kiss. I can’t describe to you what I felt then, or what I feel right at this moment. I really cannot get past that evening when I felt his lips on mine. I’m afraid there’s no turning back now.” Mark finally realized it himself. He wasn’t fully satisfied with Jackson, he didn’t even hunger for his touch as fervently as before after he tasted the purity in Jinyoung’s kiss. When Jackson went to his apartment the day he left for China the sex was good, hot, desperate, but still, it definitely wasn’t like it used to be. There was something missing and they both could feel it. Yet, the Chinese refused to accept it.
“Liar. I’ll make you remember who’s fucking you.” Jackson gritted his teeth as he removed his own belt and opened his zipper, just to pull both his pants and boxers down. He then brutally grabbed Mark again, removing his boxers at once. The naked prostitute tentatively approached the two but he was violently pushed out of the bed. Jackson wanted Mark’s eyes on him and him only. Soon the rapper spread his lover’s leg wide and positioned himself at his entrance.
“Even if you do this, I won’t feel a thing.” Mark’s glazed over eyes dared him to continue. The American didn’t fight him, just stayed still.
“Let me know if you don’t feel this, Yien.” Jackson said angrily, as he took hold of Mark’s hips and mercilessly entered him without any preparation. Mark yelled at the movement and arched his back in pain. He struggled to stop that invasion from going further into him, but Jackson’s hold was strong and bruising. He could feel the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. He had never seen that side of Jackson, he didn’t expect him to treat him that way. Mark never thought his boyfriend could intentionally hurt him during sex. But that wasn’t sex, and the American knew that.
“Gaga, get it out, you’re hurting me.” Mark sobbed underneath the muscular man, who gave him a bruising kiss just to keep him silent. Mark pushed back at his chest to avoid the kiss, but soon, Jackson held both his wrists above his head, as he repeatedly pushed in and out of his lover. Mark sobbed uncontrollably as he could feel his insides burn with each thrust. He could feel his own blood wet the sheets underneath him as Jackson continuously impaled him.
“He can never possibly make you feel like this, can he? Your dear Jinyoungie can never make you scream like I do!” the rapper whispered in his ear as he pulled his lover’s hair and bit the side of his neck.
“You’ll never be half the man he is. For the love of Christ, please stop!” Mark pleaded miserably, his weeping growing louder.
“No crying, I thought you wouldn’t feel a thing. I can’t look at your face like that.” Jackson groaned cruelly as he slapped Mark’s cheek. The American’s shock doubled as he cried harder. He never felt so humiliated and abused in his life. He just wanted that nightmare to be over. For a moment, he felt Jackson’s dick leave his body, but the rapper only rolled him over the bed and took him from behind. With his face against a pillow, blood, cum and sweat running down his legs Mark didn’t care about what Jackson did to him anymore.
“I hate you.” Mark muttered as he felt Jackson’s weight leave him. He knew his boyfriend had finally ejaculated inside of him and even if he wanted, the Chinese couldn’t intrude his violated anus anymore. It was then that Mark heard Jackson’s soft cries behind him. The American turned around and tried to sit down, but his ass hurt like hell. So he crawled to him and used both his arm to bring their faces closer. He looked into his boyfriend’s eyes in search of glints of regret and he found more than that. He found a mixture of fear, shame, dejection and despair. Mark shook his head in disgust and kissed the other abruptly. Jackson seemed confused for a second, but the American released his lips swiftly.
“What was that for?” Jackson whispered as his tears kept falling. The elder gave him a haunting smile.
“Remember who just kissed you. Remember who we used to be. Remember whom you’ve just raped. This will never happen again, you hear me?! You and I are over. This is goodbye Wang Jia Er.” Mark declared simply, as he ignored the pain between his legs and managed to get up with the help of the naked prostitute who watched the whole thing and suddenly felt bad for Mark. In those kind of places they were used to those kinds of scenes, and the prostitute knew exactly what to do. He cleaned Mark up in a warm bath, gave him some pills, got him dressed and put him in a cab. A blank Jackson watched the whole procedure silently. He didn’t dare to come near them, he was too appalled at his own actions to even move. Even when he saw Mark carefully walk through the door, he couldn’t leave the bed, he felt empty. He knew at that moment that he had lost Mark forever.

Chapter Text

Yougyeom frowned at the text he had just received from him hyung. Mark asked him to come to his room alone and without saying anything to Jaebum. The maknae promptly obliged and went to knock on the American’s door. When it was opened, he looked horrified at the bruise on his hyung’s cheek. Mark hurriedly dragged him in and closed the door.

“Hyung, who did that? Someone attacked you or something?” Yougyeom sounded worried, as his eyes scanned the American’s movements. He easily noticed the limp, the marks on his collarbone and the evident pain etched on his features.

“Please, don’t ask.” Mark mumbled as he signaled the dongsaeng to sit beside him in the bed. The other just didn’t look worried now, he seemed mad. Whoever did that to his favorite hyung deserved to go to prison. His two hands balled into fists as he pictured how he would strangle the culprit.

“Should we call the police? Is that psycho stalking you again?” Yougyeom walked to him alarmed. His hands trembled as he took his phone out of his pocket. However, a steady hand kept him from dialing.

“Look, it hurts to lift my arms, and I need you to help me cover this bruise with make-up. I don’t need Jaebum on my case right now.” Mark hushed, trying his best not to panic himself. He didn’t want his ex-boyfriend in jail, and he didn’t want go through the embarrassment of telling a court what was done to him either.

“Where’s Jackson?! I heard JB talking on the phone with him. He wanted to make this surprise, and JB was supposed to get him inside your room before you got here. Shouldn’t you be together? Tell me what happened. And I’ll help you.” The youngest was incensed, he hated when his members kept him in the dark about certain things. He was tired of being treated like a child. He wanted to help, he knew he was able to, they just had to let him do it.

“Jackson and I had a fight. We started throwing things at each other and let’s say he aims better than I do.” Mark lied pitifully. He thought that disclosing what had really happened wouldn’t do anyone any good to the members, not now, not ever. The American had previously rehearsed what he was going to say, he knew the younger could be difficult. The elder just had to keep a poker face and exercise his creativity.

“Does he hit you!?” Yougyeom asked abruptly, raising an eyebrow at his hyung.

“Oh, God, no. He doesn’t! It wasn’t like that.” Mark rolled his eyes at him. He sighed as he tried his best to convince the maknae.

“Mark hyung, seriously. I don’t care how many times you guys have stupid fights over nothing, but if he hits you, if he gets abusive, this has to stop.” The youngest never sounded so mature in his life, and although the American felt immensely proud of him, he was not ready to discuss that subject with anyone. It was too soon, and the sensations were still too raw. He felt like he would fall into a thousand pieces if he even dared to think of the details of that dreadful episode.

“Stop it already! Boy, just chill, okay. You really don’t want me to describe to you how sometimes Jackson goes all ‘Fifty Shades of Grey on me’.” Mark insisted impatiently as he eyed the youngest playfully. He just hoped the other would buy his act.

“Oh my God! You guys are so dirty. Please spare of the details, otherwise I’m going to be scarred for life.” Yougyeom covered both his ears with his hands as his cheeks turned pink. Mark found his expression hilarious, but he tried to suppress his chuckles, cause it hurt to laugh. His body was starting to ache all over again, and he was sure that whatever that helpful prostitute gave him at the brothel it was wearing off fast.

“Well, you asked! Now you promised to help me look presentable.” Mark reminded him, and the youngest didn’t pry anymore, but a glint of concern remained alive in his eyes while he managed to put some BB cream on his hyung’s face.

“Next time I see Jackson hyung, I’ll ask him to take it easy on you. After all, Mr. Grey has never laid a hand on his beloved Anastasia’s face, never. ” Yougyeom pointed out, as the elder grinned a little. The younger was being as gentle as he could while applying the BB cream on his hyung’s injured cheek. It made the American feel thankful and regretful at the same time. Lying was not fair, neither would erase what happened, but he could at least delay the devastating moment Jackson’s character would be gruesomely deconstructed before his dongsaeng eyes.

“I’m surprised you even watched that.” Mark smirked, as he noticed how flushed his dongsaeng looked.

“Stop teasing me, or I’ll leave.” He pouted as the other nodded at him apologetically.

The Showcases ended satisfactory. The American managed to hide his catastrophic break up with Jackson from Jaebum and Yougyeom without much difficulty. He wore several layers of clothing most of the time to cover hickeys, bites and other ugly marks left on his skin. Medication also helped with the physical and psychological pain he was going through. He wished he would never have talk about what happened, he felt that if he didn’t say anything, he could pretend it had never happened. However, as the three returned to Seoul to meet up with the other members of Got7, Mark wasn’t so sure if he could keep them in the dark for long. After all, the Chinese would be there too.

The hiatus of the Kpop group, which had raised to stardom, was over and the JYPE Company felt that it was about time for the band to resume their comeback activities. They had to pick up where they left off, when they were interrupted by, what the press called, the ‘letter2u incident’. Spinning Top: Between Security & Insecurity sounded like a proper name for their comeback, considering the events that kept them away from the group activities for so long. It took a lot of time for the reunion to happen but it finally did. It had been some time since they were all in the same room together. Usually, when they’d reunite like that, everyone would have exciting stories to share about their new individual experiences, however, this meeting was different from all others they had before. The seven idols sat silently for almost 2 hours as they listened from their manager and other JYP employees how the concept, style, choreography and sound of the new album were built and what was expected from them. Obviously, a long world tour was planned, and certainly more tiring and time-consuming. All the time Mark managed to avoid looking at Jackson’s direction, yet, even the Valium he had taken minutes ago helped him to totally ignore the Chinese’s presence. Mark longed for a smoke, and the worried glances Jinyoung kept stealing at him, made him crave for it even more. When the 7 were finally alone, Bambam was the first to voice his thoughts.

“Guys, we have a lot of work ahead of us. But all this talk made me very hungry right now. How about we all have lunch together at the new JYP canteen? I’ve heard they have organic food in there, quite healthy, Jackson!” He elbowed his taciturn hyung, whose eyes bored into Mark. Yugyeom, who sat on The American’s left side, couldn’t help but put an arm around his hyung’s shoulder protectively. He didn’t know exactly what was going on, but he could tell Mark was avoiding the Chinese after whatever the hell happened in Macau. He wanted to show the elder his support, and if at some point he had to choose a side, it would certainly be Mark’s. Jaebeom sat on the American’s right side. The leader quietly observed the tense and silent interaction, but decided not to call them out at that moment. He was also bothered by the way Youngjae avoided looking him in the eye. He didn’t want things to be awkward between them, but somehow, it couldn’t be helped. Since Youngjae cancelled his appearance on Jus2 showcase due to a septum surgery, they didn’t have the opportunity to have a deeper face-to-face talk.

“Well, I’m down for it. Who else is in?” the leader raised his hand as he waited for the others to say something. Yougyeom nodded his head and Youngjae uttered a lame ‘okay’ as he stared at the wall. Jackson said nothing.

“Well, it’s about time we get to know the new building properly. We could even do a Vlive while we eat.” Jinyoung suggested, but immediately regretted it when he saw how Mark forcefully closed his eyes shut. He knew something was wrong with the elder. Yougyeom noticed it too.

“I need to speak with Mark first, in private, if you guys don’t mind. We’ll be joining your table in a while.” Jackson finally spoke, and the mere sound of his hoarse voice made Mark’s skin crawl. He tried to contain the feeling of repulse coming over him the best he could. He tightly held on the edge of his seat, but when he heard the Chinese call his name a second time, he got up from the seat abruptly and excused himself quickly.

“Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom.” And he ran as if he were about to puke. Every single member of GOT7 became alarmed.

“What now? Is he pregnant or something?” Bambam commented, but his funny words only hid his concern. Youngjae smacked him for the bad joke and immediately got up from his chair ready to go out too and check up on his hyung. Yougyeom was already at the door, but Jaebeom brought him back to his seat. And motioned Yougyeom to do the same. Jinyoung wasn’t really sure of what to do.

“Jackson, I believe this is your cue to go after him. Go and fix whatever the hell you did now and please bring him back.” The leader sounded serious, he looked sternly at the Chinese, who hurriedly left the room.
The American was indeed in the bathroom, trying to keep himself together. He took another Valium, although the one from earlier was already making him lightheaded. He took deep breaths in front of the mirror and tried to convince himself he had everything under control, till Jackson showed up at the bathroom door. The American almost passed out from dizziness, but he supported himself on the edge of the bathroom sink. Jackson perceived his unsteady balance and reached out for him, but Mark gasped at the sudden movement. The other froze on the spot.

“Please leave me alone.” Mark managed to say in a muddled voice, almost intelligible.

“I’m sorry, Yien. Please don’t hate me. I don’t know what came over me, I can’t believe I did that to you! I know I was in the wrong and you didn’t deserve it. I’m an unforgivable asshole and you have all the right to be mad at me. But I need to know if you’re going to be okay, I love you, I truly do.” Jackson said carefully as he took a small step toward the American, who seemed more aware of the other’s proximity.

“You repeatedly hurt me. How can you love me when you treat me like a whore!? Do you beat and scar someone you are supposed to care for?!” Mark struggled to sound coherent as he shifted to English. He blinked continuously as his vision slowly blurred.

“You don’t look okay, Markie. Let me look after you.” Jackson closed the distance between them as he wrapped an arm around his waist. Mark almost fell over him, his limbs were growing numb. The Chinese held his chin up to have a better look at his eyes, which seemed unfocused. Mark slurred speech didn’t keep the rapper from decoding the name coming out of his lips.

“Jinyoungie, help me.” The American whispered it more than once as he head fell back on the rapper’s shoulders. Jackson was suddenly filled with rage as he put his hand over Mark’s mouth, keeping him from saying it again. But Mark bit his finger, infuriating him more.

“When are you ever gonna learn?!” Jackson spat, as he grabbed his hair and yanked his head back. Mark whimpered as he suddenly felt the weight of his lips on him. He wanted to fight Jackson, but his reflexes failed him. It was then, when he thought of dying a second time, that an angel came to his rescue.

“Hey! Get off him. He’s clearly not himself.” Jinyoung said as he pulled a dazed Jackson from him. Mark immediately lost his balance and unable to stand straight up he clumsily sat on the floor, still wearing a blank expression on his face.

“Jinyoungie?” Mark asked, not sure if he was hallucinating. But then his dongsaeng took his hands on his and rubbed them a little, upset by the cold emanating from Mark’s delicate palms.

“What did you take this time, huh?” an appalled Jinyoung asked, as he touched his cheeks graciously. Jackson observed the scene in dismay. His blood boiled as he saw the way Mark willingly leaned on the younger and allowed his contact. Mark didn’t panic like he did a while ago when Jackson had his arms around him. The Chinese felt like crying, but no tear would form around his chocolate eyes.

“Will you kindly take your hands of off my boyfriend, Park Jinyoung?” Jackson warned, unable to approach the two on the floor. He didn’t have the emotional strength to disentangle them from each other. He thought that if he tried, he would end up killing both of them.

“Please don’t leave me alone with him. Take me away from him, please, Jinyoungie.” Mark sounded like a lost child. His voice almost cracked.

“Leave us.” It was all stern Jinyoung said as he shot a dirty look at Jackson. He looked like a protective mother bear cradling Mark in his arms. Jackson surprisingly didn’t say nor did anything, he just left the pair alone in the bathroom.

“You came for me.” The American sighed in relief as he lifted his eyes to meet his dongseang’s. He saw so much love in them, he wanted to drown in those dark orbs. He examined his flawless face and touched his ear lovingly. Mark brought their noses together for an Eskimo kiss, the other held his breath for a second or two. An abashed Jinyoung was about to open his mouth to say something when Mark held him by the back of his neck and slowly united their lips. For a moment the younger didn’t know what to do, he stayed still as Mark’s divine lips sloppily moved against his. Before Mark could have a chance to slip his tongue inside his mouth, Jinyoung unwillingly broke the kiss and looked away.

“We can’t. It’s not right. You are with Jack, and I have Kwon. They don’t deserve this.” Jinyoung fought against the urge to capture his hyung’s lips again.

“Jackson and I are no more. We broke up.” Mark whispered almost incoherently as he looked at him dreamingly. The singer shook his head disapprovingly, concluding that fight was just another one of the Markson couple many break ups. The American looked disappointed, when Jinyoung helped him up from the floor and started to leave the bathroom with him.

“You’re out of it, Mark. This time it looks like you didn’t take anything lethal, thank God. What was it, some recreational drug? Let’s get you sobered up before lunch is over, or else Jaebeom will strangle us.”

“Can I sleep at yours today?” Mark asked straightforwardly, his voice more firm.

“You do realize my boyfriend might be there, right?” the dongsaeng reminded him.

“Is that a yes?” Mark dismissed the information.

“You’re always welcome to stay with me, any time you want, you know that.” Jinyoung said as he saw his hyung’s features transform. With a big smile plastered on his face, Mark followed him out of the bathroom.
They 6 idols managed to have lunch together, but Jackson skipped that reunion. He just returned in the afternoon for their scheduled practice. Which didn’t go very well. Many mistakes were being made by Mark, who couldn’t really focus on the choreographer’s movement. Still, the group all the time tried to cheer him up and they practiced till evening.

When practice finished, a sweating Jaebum approached Jackson while the others prepared to leave.

“Look, I know he’s been using some prescribed medication. But be frank with me, is he any other drugs apart from those?” the leader inquired with a frown. He clearly figured out that his hyung was in his worst shape.

“No.” the Chinese was not in the mood for a questioning session.

“Why didn’t you come back for lunch? Why Jinyoung was the one who brought him back?”

“Ask them, not me.”

“Are you guys going to be okay?” JB didn’t really want to intrude in the lover’s spat. He felt like he couldn’t give advice to anyone regarding relationships. After Youngjae confessed to him and he barely knew how to react, he understood how complicated those kind of feelings could be.

“We’ll see.” Jackson answered, still hiding the actual break up. A spark of hope in him struggled to die down. He thought he still could find a way to mend the Markson couple.

“Be careful with him. He’s been through a lot. And please, don’t hurt him more than he’s been already hurt.” Jaebeom didn’t give him a chance to reply too that. He did not see the mask of remorse that covered the Chinese’s features. He just waved goodbye at the others and walked out of the room. Suddenly, another conversation caught the rapper’s attention on the other side of the room. He just observed from afar how Yougyeom insisted in accompanying Mark home and how the older just informed him about his sleepover at Jinyoung’s. He averted his eyes from the trio and tried to control the jealousy creeping over him. When Jinyoung, Mark and Yougyeom left the room together, it didn’t take long for Bambam and Youngjae to walk out to him.

“I saw the look you gave them. But you don’t have to worry about it, Jinyoung hyung is taken.” Youngjae told him quietly as if he was revealing a sacred secret. Bambam just smirked at Jackson’s flabbergasted face.

“What makes you say that?” the Chinese asked in disbelief. Looking at the two.

“Youngjae hyung and I saw Kim Kwon driving him here. We spotted them at the JYP garage, kissing passionately inside the car.” Bambam giggled like a schoolgirl. Jackson was still in shock.

“It’s clear that our Jinyoung hyung is trying to be discreet about it. We didn’t want to say anything, but Bambam felt that we should let you know, in order to avoid any misunderstandings.” Youngjae clarified as he patted Jackson’s back and left the two foreigners members alone.

“I realize that whatever is going on between you two is worse than before. Come to me if you need someone to talk. I am Markson’s biggest shipper, so you can count on my support. You know, AmeriThaiKong forever.” Bambam’s words brought a sort of relief to the other. Yet, he wondered how his dongsaengs would react once they found out about that fateful encounter in Macau.
It was pretty late, but the two foreigners agreed to stop by a café before returning to their homes. Unlike the two, Jinyoung and Mark were not in the mood for coffee, they’d rather enjoy the coziness of the singer’s apartment that night. After taking a shower, the two just enjoyed each other’s company on the living room. Jinyoung made them a mug of tea and when he felt his hyung was comfortable enough on his couch, he broke the silent between them.

“Why did you kiss me?” he asked the elder, who tensed at the question. He knew it was time for another Valium, he was just too tired to get up and grab one tablet from his bag. He could feel the anxiety creeping in. The didn’t know how to lie to his dongsaeng, not that one.

“That was me being thankful.” Mark blinked at him, but the gesture looked dull. Jinyoung sighed at the response. The American just watched as he took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to him.

“What’s this? A love letter?” Mark looked at him quizzically, but took the paper from his hand and examined it for a while.

“It’s more like a despondent break up letter. Once I turn it into a song, I’m gonna call it ‘The End’. I wrote that after you were almost ran over by that car. I thought we were over. You and me. Got7.” Jinyoung answered him calmly as his hyung gave the paper back to him.

“You’re using it in the new album?” Mark sounded sad.

“Do you think the lyrics might scare the fans? Jinyoung stared at him hard as he tried to decipher the origin of his hyung’s melancholy.

“They’ll understand, they always do.” The American replied simply.

“Do you understand?” Jinyoung took a sip from his tea, as he waited for an answer.

“Which part?” Mark looked away.

“Losing you would be devastating for me, for the whole group, for the Ahgases. Will you please have mercy on us and stop using whatever you’re using?” Jinyoung’s tone sounded as forlorn as Mark’s now, whose eyes watered a bit.

“I’m here Jinyoung. I’m not going anywhere. I told you that before. I’m not trying to end my life. It’s just Valium. I’ve been seeing a doctor since letter2u messed me up, you know that. I guess I just need some time to adjust to the new dosage.” Mark feared having that conversation since he returned. The singer was aware of the side effects that kind of drug could have, and how addicting it could be. He just hoped that besides his doctor, Mark could have more emotional support, at least from his boyfriend.

“I’ll be forever thankful to Jackson for saving you that day. I imagine he’s trying to be supportive now that you are getting the help you need to put your mind at ease.” Jinyoung commented trying to find a way to approach the subject that bothered him since that morning.

“Yeah.” Mark lied. He hadn’t seen his shrink for a while and Jackson probably had no idea that he was taking anything. No one knew the American was illegally getting access to the medication through someone from the JYP staff.

“Why were you scared of him?” Jinyoung started, trying his best to push him.

“I wasn’t.” the elder answered shortly.

“You asked me to not leave you with him in that bathroom.”

“I was out of it.”

“He was forcing a kiss on you and I could tell you weren’t enjoying it.”

“He was just being Jackson! You know how pushy he can be.” The American held his ground firmly.

“Yougyeom thinks something bad happened in Macau.” The dongsaeng pointed out raising an eyebrow at him, while the elder cursed under his breath. It had almost slipped his mind the fact that Yougyeom knew too much about Macau. Still, he managed to keep his façade.

“Nonsense.” Mark knew what Jinyoung was doing, he wasn’t going to give what he wanted. He promised himself to bury that truth so deep inside of him that he himself would forget it ever happened.

“What’s the cause of the break up this time?” the singer’s patience was wearing off.

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Mark was angry now all of sudden.

“Mark, I’m trying to help. I care about you, please understand.” Jinyoung tried to explain himself but was abruptly cut off by his hyung, who stood up from the couch and crossed his arms around himself.

“You say you care about me. Once you even said you loved me, but it’s Kwon who you’re dating now.” Mark accused, as if Jinyoung had somehow betrayed him.

“What does this have to do with anything? The fact that I’m seeing someone can’t keep us from being friends.” Jinyoung almost choked on the last word while his hyung shook his head in denial.

“Friends!? That’s how you see me?! That’s what I am to you, a fucking friend, Park Jinyoung?” Mark yelled this time and it was Jinyoung’s turn to look away. He swore he wouldn’t get between the Markson couple again and he planned to honor his words. No matter how much he loved the American, he respected and appreciated Jackson. Moreover, he convinced himself that the rapper was the best choice Mark had ever made. The singer could never surpass The Chinese’s position in Mark’s life, he just felt he wasn’t good enough. A least not as good as Jackson.

“Since when being friends isn’t enough for you?” the Korean challenged Mark to explain himself. His hyung pondered his question and as he came back to the couch and held his hand on his, he revealed something he himself had just recently found out.

“Months ago. Since you kissed me that evening at the flat.” The American answered honestly, and immediately Jinyoung put his guard up. He wasn’t expecting to hear that, not from him, not now. Fear overcame him, as he took his own hands away from Mark’s grasp. He tried to process his hyung’s words but his heart was racing too fast and he couldn’t think straight, he felt cornered.

“Leave.” The singer got up and opened the door for Mark, who became speechless for a few seconds before he realized what the other meant.

“No! I’m not leaving until you hear me out! I have these feelings, and I know you feel them too.” Mark started. He was about to convince Jinyoung that he wasn’t playing with him, that he didn’t plan on using him just to make Jackson jealous. Mark wanted him to know that he would never hurt him like that. He had a whole speech to get off his chest, he was about to tell Jinyoung that he wanted more than just his friendship. However, those words never came out of the American’s mouth. A stunning Kim Kwon showed up on Jinyoung’s doorsteps and let himself in. He hadn’t listened to the whole conversation, but he heard Mark’s last sentence and that was enough. Jinyoung was too embarrassed to even look at his boyfriend in the eye.

“Oh, please, don’t stop there Tuan, by all means, explain to me what kind of feelings are you talking about here.” The man walked up to Mark, his eyes shooting daggers at the American. Kwon didn’t appreciate the smirk on Mark’s face.

“It’s nothing relevant. He was just leaving. Mark, just go find Jackson and make up already, okay? See you at practice tomorrow.” Jinyoung found his voice again. He wished his member wouldn’t make a scene in front of his Sunbaenim. He didn’t know why Mark was behaving that way and he truly hoped he would just drop that annoying subject and get out of there. Jinyoung didn’t even want to entertain the idea of being loved back. He couldn’t be that naïve, he would not wear his heart on his sleeve, he had learnt his lesson. He was with someone who didn’t have the power to break his heart, and that was okay, because in case Kwon eventually left him, he wouldn’t feel as miserable as he felt when Mark rejected him. No one could make him feel worse than that, and the same time, no one could make his heart beat faster the way the American did.

“Are you acting now? Because it seems to me, your bad boy role leaves a lot to be desired. You’ll never gonna get that Oscar, you know. Perhaps I made you nervous, look at that, you’re sweating.” The older actor looked appalled as he himself brought a hand to his head and noticed the moisture on his forehead. Mark’s smirk turned into a grin and before he could say anything else, Jinyoung grabbed him by the wrist and pushed him out of the door.

“Go home, Mark!”

“It’s the second time I have to leave your apartment because of him. And you don’t even love him! You love me!” the American retorted, but before Jinyoung could react to that statement, Kwon impatiently closed the door on Mark’s face. The singer eyed the closed door with a heavy heart. But he didn’t open it again, he just waited till he heard Mark’s footsteps fading away as a sign that he had finally left.

“Jinyoung, we have to talk.” Kwon’s voice seemed to break him out of a trance. He knew he owed him an explanation and he wasn’t going to deny him that. He was ready to tell his boyfriend the romantic role that Mark once played in his life and he just hoped the experienced actor wouldn’t read too much between the lines.

That night Mark returned to his own apartment just to find a drunk Youngjae sitting with his back against his door. Surprised as he as at his dongsaeng presence at that time of the night, he felt relieved for having company. He didn’t ask questions, he just carefully helped the younger up and opened the door to get them both inside. As he laid the dongsaeng in his own bed, he managed to take hold of the whiskey bottle in his hand and sat beside him.

“I’m not drunk yet, gimmie back!” Youngjae whined as he reached for the bottle in Mark’s possession.

“I think I deserve this more than you do.” Mark scoffed and took a sip from it.

“I called JB and a girl picked up his phone.” Youngjae decided to reveal the reason for his heartache.

“I broke up with my boyfriend because he’s a violent asshole and the only nice guy who gives a fuck about me is already fucking someone else.” Mark shrugged hopelessly as he took another sip from the bottle.

“I’ll pretend I don’t know who you’re referring to.” Youngjae sat up on the bed and started massaging his hyung’s shoulders.

“What a pair we are! I wonder how much more miserable we can get.” Mark exclaimed as he relaxed his shoulders and welcomed Youngjae’s skillful hands on his skin.

“It would be so much easier if we had fallen for each other, we would be the hottest couple in the Kpop industry! Markjae would rule! So amazing!” Youngjae burst into one of his hysterical laughs as he back hugged the younger Mark, who genuinely smiled for the first time since months.

“Imagine JB, Jinyoung or Jackson having to put up with our constant PDA!” Mark was laughing hard now, and he didn’t know if it was the whiskey, but he felt so carefree! He didn’t mind when Youngjae started leaving butterfly kisses on his exposed neck or when he felt the younger’s hand travel down his chest wantonly.

“How was your first time?” Youngjae asked out of the blue, but Mark was surprisingly in a talking mood.

“Because of the expectation and anxiety every first time kind of suck. For me, it happened when I was infatuated with a girl back in LA, she was quite experienced, so that helped. I was about fourteen at the time.”

“What about your first time with a guy?” the younger seemed curious for details. His hyung’s eyes seemed to travel in time as he reminisced about the past. Mark became nostalgic as he recalled how innocent and pure his relationship with a certain Chinese used to be before it grew into something more physical. He wondered when love started to become toxic in their relationship. He missed being in love with him. He remembered the first time he said ‘Remember who is kissing you, remember who we are.’ And how those words made him feel special and content. It felt nice to belong to the rapper once. It used to be easier to forgive his shortcomings or his unfounded jealousy when he was blinded by love. Now he could only mourn their beautiful beginning and struggle to survive their end.

“That was with Jackson. We both didn’t know what to do at first, but he was very sure about being on top. It was difficult at the beginning but I managed to enjoy at last. He took care of me. We were in love and when your feelings are at the right place, everything is magical.”

“Wow, I can only dream about doing something like that with JB.” Youngjae pointed out as he nuzzled Mark’s neck and his hands travelled to his thigh. A moan escaped Mark’s mouth and suddenly he became aware of what his dongsaeng was doing.

“I think it’s time for bed, kid. We have practice early in the morning. This is not the kind of topic we should be discussing at this hour.” Mark was about to get up from the bed, but the younger pulled him back.

“I want you to be my first.” Youngjae said at once. He took of his top and looked at Mark expectantly. The elder looked away as he blushed a little. He couldn’t deny he felt tempted to touch those virginal nipples, yet, he still had a lingering self-control and a great amount of appreciation for that one.

“You drank, and so did I. Let’s make sure that once we wake up tomorrow our hangovers will be the only regret in our minds.” Mark said, he hated to play the role of the adult but it had to be done.

“Am I too ugly?” Youngjae asked timidly as he looked down. Mark lifted his chin held both his shoulders gently and stared right into his eyes.

“You’re beautiful, kind, and so preciously innocent that you could easily melt my heart if it wasn’t so shattered right now. You’re everything a guy could ask for, kid. Don’t underestimate your power of seduction. If I didn’t stop your wandering hands from working their charm, I don’t know what would have happened a few minutes ago. Look, I’m sure you’ll find the lucky guy who will truly make your first time unforgettable. Don’t ever do that to someone you don’t feel like doing it, just to pleasure them, or because you feel pressured to do it.” Mark told him and embraced his dongsaeng.

“You are one of a kind, Mark hyung. Now I know what they both see in you.” Youngjae smiled at him, feeling lighter than he was before the American let him in his bedroom. Mark covered them both with his sheets as his dongsaeng cuddled up to him. Before they peacefully fell asleep, Mark kissed the top of Youngjae’s head and wished him good night.

Chapter Text

Mark awoke to the sound of his annoying doorbell. He carefully got up from his bed trying his best not to disturb his dongsaeng’s sleep. He wondered who the hell could be at his door at 4 AM. He had to be ready for practice at 6, and he needed all the sleep he could get. When he looked through the peephole in his door no one was there. For some reason, he had a bad feeling about that. He felt like he was taking part in a cheap horror flick. And he did what every single stupid character do in that kind of situation. He opened the door wide to make sure no one was there. He was about to sigh in relief when he saw the envelope laying in front of his door. He gazed at it with anticipation and it took him a few minutes to move. His trembling hands picked it up, and quickly read the note inside it.

‘I’m back. Do not tell a soul. I want to surprise the others.’
Letter2u.

Mark felt like screaming as hatred found its way inside him. His life started going downhill since this anonymous letters started coming. Got7 had to pause their activities, somebody had tried to kill him, Jinyoung had given up on his love for him, Jackson’s jealousy had reached its boiling point, JB started questioning his own leadership in the group and all of them had to face the hideous side effects of global fame. Discretion, privacy, freedom, independency, safety and peace of mind were little by little disappearing from their path to glory. If once they were disappointed about being not so prominent in South Korea, now they wished they weren’t. That red car incident and Jackson’s heroic act did that to them. It was the first time a Kpop group was being taken seriously by the general public in the country. They were on the papers, magazines, video games, graphic novels, social media and books. Even academics were writing articles about the danger of being a target of sasaengs in Korea. A movie contract was also offered to them, but it was declined by JYP. The notability they sought for so long, turned into an unwanted attention that consumed the band and changed their routine forever. Being renowned in Korea was a problem they weren’t prepared to face. Especially Mark. It had been difficult for him to find his way back to top with so much shit piling up around him. If it wasn’t for letter2u, he would’ve never kissed Jinyoung, and certainly he would have never considered his own feelings for his dongsaeng. Perhaps, that trip to Macau would’ve never happened, because Jus2 would be busy with Got7. And finally, he would still be in a relationship with Jackson, since he wouldn’t have to witness the cracks in his personality. Mark believed that whatever drove the Chinese to hurt him so deeply, was previously influenced by letter2u schemes. That situation could not go on. It was a rocky moment for him. The American hurried to his bathroom cabinet and threw all pills and capsules he had there inside the toilet and flushed them. If that psycho was back, the idol wouldn’t be caught off guard. He needed to be sober, fully aware of his surroundings. Being sedated would only give letter2u a chance to fuck with his mind again and harm Got7’s comeback again. Now he wouldn’t let that happen, he would be waiting for the stalker to strike. Mark suddenly realized that it was time to fight back, though he didn’t know how to do it, he was set to do something, anything, to get rid of that sasaeng once and for all.
He checked the cameras to see if he could get a glimpse of the one who had left that note on his doorsteps. Yet, soon he found out that none of the cameras were working. Nothing was recorded, so still he had no idea of who could be his the author of those notes. Frustrated, he lit a cigarette and looked at the clock. He still had one hour before practice. So he made himself a smoothie, left some for Youngjae and left for the gym. Working out would get his mind off things for a while and building some muscles wasn’t a bad idea if he planned to keep his mind and body healthy. He just didn’t expect to find a familiar face there.

“What are you doing here?” a surprised Jinyoung asked him, as he ran a hand through his slightly wet hair. Sweat soaked his tank top, revealing his sculpted abs. Mark couldn’t help but lick his lips as he admired the sight before him.

“I thought of working out a bit, blowing off some steam.” The elder answered casually, struggling to tear his eyes away from his dongsaeng’s chest.

“You?! Here, at this hour?” the singer was clearly not convinced, after all he was aware of how much his hyung treasured his sleeping schedule.

“Since we’re both here, what about being my training partner? Perhaps you could spot me?” Mark asked out of the blue. He had no desire to talk, he just wanted to work out. He still wondered whether he should tell his members about the letter he received that morning. But he knew better than to cross his sasaeng. Last time Jinyoung was almost outed to his family when he refused to follow letter2u’s instructions. Then Mark decided to keep his mouth shut for now.

“Are we going to talk about last night? It’s about time we discuss about these feelings you claim to have for me.” the dongsaeng crossed his arms and frowned at him.

“Look, I didn’t mean to make a scene in front of him. I was jealous, unreasonable and embarrassing. It won’t happen again. I promise to apologize to Kwon next time I see him.” Mark sounded annoyed since he didn’t really regret his actions.

“There won’t be a next time. He broke up with me.” Jinyoung said shortly, as the American eyed him in disbelief.

“Oh, my goodness! That’s the best news I’ve heard since a freakin’ long time! You’ve just made my day, Jinyoungie!” Mark couldn’t hide his enthusiasm, as he smiled at his pissed dongsaeng.

“I’m glad my misery makes you happy. I have finally found a solid relationship with someone and you do your best to ruin it! Thanks, hyung!” Jinyoung retorted accusingly.

“Believe me, you’re better off him. That guy is an asshole, he doesn’t deserve you!” Mark’s words seemed to irritate Jinyoung even more.

“Oh, so let me guess! You’re the one who deserves me?!” the singer seethed, unable to keep his voice down. The American really thought that it wasn’t the best time to talk about his feelings, but if he had to do it now, he would.

“You read the words on the food truck I sent to your drama set, right? It said ‘I’m inside of you’ because since that kiss we shared, you took a part of me with you. I am not the same, I mean it, Jinyoungie. You planted these feelings in me, and I don’t know what to do with them. I hated seeing you with that guy, I don’t want us to be just friends. I don’t love Jackson anymore. Please believe me.” Mark revealed, as he tried his best to explain himself. He wanted to say more, but suddenly Jinyoung’s sweet lips were on his and he felt like he was in heaven one more time. The singer’s tongue immediately found his way inside Mark’s mouth and the kiss deepened as Jinyoung held the American by the waist with one hand and the nape of his neck with the other. The kiss was very passionate at first, but soon it became rough, demanding, angry and Mark felt like not responding to it anymore. The hand, which travelled from his neck to squeeze his buttocks, for some unknown reason, wasn’t welcomed there.

The American wanted to stop Jinyoung, but at the same time, he didn’t. That kind of contact reminded him of the last time he had been with Jackson and no matter how much he wanted to avoid thinking about the pain he felt at the occasion, his body unconsciously reacted to Jinyoung’s sensual touches. He forced himself to accept that kind of intimacy, but it didn’t last long. Therefore, he pushed the singer away.

“I’m sorry.” It was all Mark managed to say as he put a hand on his mouth and looked away embarrassed.

“Liar.” Jinyoung shook his head knowingly. Sadness clouded his eyes. Mark cursed himself for having that kind of effect on him.

“Look, it’s not like I don’t want this, you wouldn’t understand.” The American awkwardly tried to explain himself one more time. And he failed.

“What is it that I don’t understand, huyng?! That you still can’t forget Jackson because he is certainly a better kisser than me? Why are you even leading me on?! Why do you have to be so heartless when you know how hard these 5 years of pinning have been for me?! Why you let me kiss you just to push me away? Will you please stop playing with me? I’m not your toy! Jesus, why can’t I stop loving someone who will never ever love me back!” Jinyoung’s eyes brimmed with tears, but he wouldn’t openly cry in front of Mark. He still had his pride.

“I would never hurt you intentionally. I just want us to be different from what I had before with him. Don’t you ever think you’re less than him, I just need to take things slow. I wanna do this the right away, it’s not just about sex between us, there’s more, and I want to cherish every step of it. What made you think I could never love you back?” Mark’s eyes softened as he walked to his dongsaeng and planted a kiss right above his left eye. The singer sighed, closed his eyes and slowly calmed down as the American wrapped his arms around him.

“We’re gonna be late for practice.” Jinyoung hummed, still enveloped by his hyung’s embrace. Mark’s words soothed his anguished heart for now. He wondered if it was really safe to give them a chance, to put his trust on someone who had just ended a long-lasting relationship with Jackson Wang. The singer hoped Mark could love him just as much as he did Jackson. He wished time would stop, and those arms could hold him forever. But they had a packed schedule to follow and Got7 wasn’t complete without them.

“Let’s go then. God forbid I set a bad example for my dongsaengs. JB might go nuts.” Mark held his hand and gave him a peck on his lips. Jinyoung’s eyes widened, and then his whole expression changed with his fabulous eye smile. It mesmerized his hyung.

“We’ll keep this between us for now, okay? I don’t know how Jackson might react to it and we gotta concentrate on our new album. No fighting for now if it can be avoided.” Jinyoung pointed out, unsure of what his hyung might think of that.

“Whatever you say, Mom. Or should I say, Daddy?” Mark winked at him and the singer couldn’t help but laugh embarrassedly at the American’s choice of words. The singer was happy to see that Mark’s strength seemed to be returning little by little. His eyes weren’t as unfocused as yesterday, a gleam of excitement sparked in those eyes. He wondered if his break up with Kwon was really the reason for his animation, he couldn’t help but think that was something more to it.

“Are you in your medication?” he knew it bothered his hyung, but he had to be sure.

“Oh, please! Don’t be a mood killer. Can’t we do this another time?” Mark almost begged as he took a step away from the singer.

“I’m just making sure my boyfriend is not addicted to anything. And in case he’s not, I’m still concerned by his self-harming tendencies.” He truly sounded concern.

“So, that’s what we are now? Boyfriends?” the American teased, smirking at him.

“What?! Don’t change the subject.” Jinyoung tried to sound annoyed, yet, he blushed adorably.

“Ok, look. First of all, I’m not suicidal. Yes, I’m off my meds. I don’t feel like depending on them to survive anymore. I’m not seeing a doctor either, we’re too busy lately and I don’t want to waste time on trivialities.” Mark said as he dismissed Jinyoung’s look of disbelief.

“Trivialities? Seriously, hyung?!”

“Why would I want to off myself now that Kim Kwon is out of the picture? You keep me going Park Jinyoung. My best medicine is you.” Mark gave him one of his sexiest smiles, and his dongsaeng came undone. With a defeated sigh he closed the distance between him and the American again and kissed his cheek.

“I’ll be keeping an eye on you. Just let me know when you need to increase your dose of JYP.” Jinyoung stated as he eyed how softly the American held his hands and kissed both of them.

2 hours later the couple arrived at the studio to find just four members waiting for them. Their manager announced that they were supposed to hold a Fan Meeting to assure the Ahgases that the band was finally back together. It was unusual for them to have that kind of event before the release of a new album, but if the company felt that it was a necessity, they wouldn’t question the initiative. Due to the danger of another attempt against the boys lives, security would be increased at the meeting and any kind of skinship, such as hi-touch or hand holding, wouldn’t be allowed this time.

“Where have you guys been?” The leader asked impatiently.

“Gym. We plan to get in shape for this new comeback. Sorry for our lateness.” Mark spoke quite convincingly and even Jackson’s presence in the room didn’t make him feel insecure. He felt that with Jinyoung by his side he could accomplish anything. The American saw him as his source of strength. He felt confident enough to deal with letter2u and pretend the Chinese never existed.

“Where’s Youngjae?” Jinyoung asked curiously as he noticed the dongsaeng’s absence.

“He’s at the changing room. Don’t know what’s taking him so long.” Jaebeom commented and Mark became alarmed. He immediately thought that his stalker could’ve entered his apartment when he left for gym and had done something to his dongsaeng. So when Jaebum commented about Youngjae’s strange behavior, Mark volunteered to go find him. When the American reached the changing room he saw the younger crouched on the floor of the changing room staring at nothing.

“Hey, Jae, are you okay? Tell me you’re okay!” Mark kneeled in front of him to have a better look at his face. The dongasaeng had an unreadable expression on his face.

“I guess I’m fine.” The younger muttered as he bit his lip.

“Jae, you’re not fine. You know you can tell me anything, right?!” Mark’s tone was anxious.

“You and Jackson hyung, are really over, right?” the dongsaeng asked as he finally met his hyung’s eyes expectantly. The other frowned at the question, but answered him anyway.

“I haven’t exactly told the others, but yeah, there’s no possibility of reconciliation for us.”

“Are you in love with Jinyoung hyung now? Are you gonna tell him to leave Kwon?”

“What the fuck kind of questions are these? Did Jackson ask you to plead his case or something?” Mark was more than just bothered by his dongsaeng’s words. He didn’t want to disclose what was going on between him and Jinyoung yet. He wanted to honor the singer’s wishes. No big revelations right now.

“I was with Jackson hyung earlier, he found me in your apartment this morning after you left. He was pretty pissed at first when he found me in your bed. But I explained everything to him.”

“Jesus Christ! I thought some heavy shit had gone down. You got me worried for a second, kid! I gotta remember to change my lock. He’s the only one besides my parents who has the keys to my apartment. That has got to change. He’s not welcomed there anymore.” Mark relaxed as he sat on the floor beside Youngjae. He was certain Jackson wouldn’t dare to mention anything about Macau to anyone, so he imagined he wouldn’t have to worry about that, ever.

“You’re too hard on him sometimes. He’s not such a bad guy as you picture him in your mind. He saved your life, hyung. And he was also kind enough to take care of my problem.” Youngjae smiled awkwardly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Mark took a deep breath and refused to believe what he had just heard. He wanted to be wrong, he hoped he was wrong.

“He did what you refused to. He got rid of my virginity.” Youngjae carefully got up from the floor and crossed his arms around himself, as he waited for Mark’s reaction. He wasn’t sure of what to expect. But before his hyung could even give him a response, the door of the changing room opened, revealing an unconcerned Jackson, who eyed both of them quizzically.

“So, have you already told him the big news?” this time the Chinese sneered as he turned to Youngjae, who looked appalled at his inability to read the situation.

“He knows.” The dongsaeng almost sounded remorseful as he looked away ashamed.

“Jackson.” Mark wasn’t able to say anything else. His hair covered his eyes and by the way he sat on the floor with his head hung low.

“What, Markie?! Have I finally got your attention?” Jackson had a mocking tone that made the American see red. When the Chinese crouched in front of him to examine his features, all hell broke loose.

Chapter Text

Mark threw himself on him and pushed him to the floor roughly. Jackson started laughing maniacally as he easily avoided Mark’s punches. Youngjae desperately ran out of the room to call the others, and when the rest of Got7 arrived at the scene, the two were already rolling on the floor as all kind of English curses escaped Mark’s mouth. The members weren’t sure if Jackson was using Mandarin or Cantonese, but they couldn’t understand a word that he pronounced. He wasn’t fighting back, yet he was having a hard time at trying to get the American away from him. Jaebeom was the first to try to separate the fight. Soon Jinyoung, Bambam and Yougyeom joined him. Youngjae just stared at the mess, feeling guiltier as ever. Before they managed to finally pull Mark away from the Chinese, the elder had the chance to scratch one side of the rapper’s face pretty bad.

“What the hell, Mark. We have a Fan Meeting tomorrow! Do you want him to show up there like Edward Scissorhands?” JB exclaimed as he held Mark by the chest against a wall, trying to calm down the elder. The others tended to Jackson who was already up, but gave a grimace of pain when he touched his wounded cheek.

Practice was canceled that morning. Their manager gave them a long lecture and an ultimatum. Either they fixed their personal issues by themselves, or he would inform the situation to JYP himself the next day. JB knew that he had to take action, even if he didn’t want to. So he gathered all of the 6 members in an empty meeting room at JYP building and warned them that nobody was to leave the room before everything was back to normal. It was almost noon and no one dared to speak first, so he started addressing the Chinese.

“Jackson, I know it’s not my business, but this has gone too far. Why the hell were you guys clawing at each other’s face at the changing room?”

“You’re right. It’s not your business.” The rapper answered sternly, his voice unusually deeper.

“Well, I’m making it my business now, you piece of shit! You had the chance to fix this your way, now we do it my way. Just bear with it, okay?! I’ll no longer let the unprofessionalism of some members harm this group.” The leader’s eyes travelled from Mark to Jinyoung and then returned to Jackson.

“I broke up with Kwon and Mark broke up with Jackson. No one is to blame, it just happened.” Jinyoung commented, as he felt the need to clarify to JB that he had nothing to do with the problems which plagued the Markson couple. But his plan backfired, it was too late to turn back now, because that single information sounded too suspicious. Both brake ups sounded intentional and more likely, a consequence of each other. Jaebum looked at him in disbelief. Jackson gasped and the young ones were too shocked to even comment on the news.

“Who’s kwon?” Yougyeom asked innocently. He was the only one in that room unaware of the latest news. His best Thai friend didn’t tell him about what Youngjae and him saw the other day, so it seemed he was the only one in the dark about Jinyoung’s short affair.

“Well, he’s history now. That’s what matters.” Mark pointed out, as he unconsciously his lip. Jinyoung touched his cheek in an attempt to keep him from breaking the skin and that mere gesture made the room focus on them more than necessary. Jackson sighed loudly.

“I’m glad you’ve moved on so quickly after all that happened between us. I see you wasted no time in replacing me.” The rapper did not sound angry, but hurt dripped from every single word that left his mouth.

“If you’re talking about the shit I had to put up with all these years, well, yeah, it wasn’t difficult to put all that behind me!” Mark almost yelled. It was clear he was lying. It was hard for him, so hard that he could hear his heart shattering every time he looked at the Chinese and remembered how his mere presence was able to calm him down. Now there was so much resentment between them, that just listening to his voice gave him the chills. If it wasn’t for Jinyoung’s hands on his under the table, he would be digging his nails into his palm.

“Are you and Jinyoung hyung a thing now?!” Bambam finally asked, not really content for his hyungs. He thought that whole situation was unfair on his Chinese friend. None of them answered that. Yet, Yougyeom voiced his own opinion.

“Well, at least Jackson hyung won’t have any reason to beat up Mark hyung anymore.” The maknae commented, knowing that that little information would bring some tension in the room. The American’s terrified look felt like a warn. Jaebum just observed the discussion, trying the best to read between the lines. He was the leader, so he had to listen to everyone and solve whatever problem was keeping Got7 from functioning as it should.

“As far as I can see Mark hyung looks pretty okay! It’s Jackson hyung’s face who will need tons of make up before showing his face at tomorrow’s FanMeeting.” Bambam retorted a bit pissed at his friend. He didn’t understand why Yuggie was acting like that.

“Well, you should’ve seen the bruises, the limping and, oh, the image that really haunted me, Jackson’s hyung freshly imprinted backhand on Mark hyung’s complexion.” Yougyeom wouldn’t let everyone chastised the American now, since he was also hurt previously. Jinyoung and JB became alert with that new information. The Thai member frowned at the rapper, who suddenly looked as dejected as a murder suspect standing trial. He just sat there anxiously waiting for his death sentence to be read.

“When did that happen? I didn’t hear about any of it.” The leader fumed. It was a consensus that the eldest of the group was also the weakest. As the face of the group, he should be handled with care. He looked so fragile that harming Mark physically, could be easily considered an unforgivable sin.

“Kim Yougyeom, will you please shut the fuck up?” Mark put his best LA gangster façade to shut up the younger, but it was the one sitting beside him who quickly answered Jaebeom.

“Macau, as far as I know. I wonder how you let that pass.” Jinyoung sounded genuinely upset as he eyed the leader and then Jackson with an unreadable expression on his face. He looked composed, but at the same time, unapproachable. The maknae had mentioned to him some details about that Jus2 trip and Jack’s supposed surprise, but he didn’t read much into it, since he had witnessed how sexually rough the rapper could be with the eldest. He would never forget how the Chinese manhandled the American at that fateful night of their kiss in their former flat or at that recent bathroom episode inside JPY’s building. But Mark was his problem now and he wouldn’t refrain from reprimanding Jackson for his past mistakes.

“Oh, please! Let’s not keep counting the dozens of times these two ended up wounding each other. The fact now is that they’re both single and free to do whatever they please, with whoever they choose.” Youngjae grumbled as he crossed his arms around himself.

“Shut up, Jae.” Jackson muttered as he stared hard at his dongsaeng. He didn’t want to entertain the idea of a Markjin couple reality. It nauseated him.

“What now, Jackson!? Are you going to deny what you two did this very morning?! Why are you suddenly so discreet? It doesn’t become you, honey!” Mark’s sarcasm gnawed his ears. The rapper had never seen his ex stare at him with so much disgust. And this time it was Jackson who ashamedly turned his gaze away from the American.

“Come on, guys! I’m fucking tired of this damn prattle. What did you two did to piss him off that way!?” Bambam seemed to be losing his patience, as well as his politeness. He wanted to be out of that room cause it pained him to see what his brothers had become.

“We slept together, Jackson and me. And Mark is being hysterical because he was the one who denied me when I asked him to be my first. What I cannot tell is whether he’s jealous or whether he’s regretful.” After Youngjae finished, silence filled the room. Looks of surprise and disappointment were shared between them. No one lashed out at the Chinese, or at Jae. JB wouldn’t dare to comment on that. He opened his mouth twice to say something, but nothing came out of it. He stared at nothing for a second and then moved to open the door of the meeting room. Before he walked out, he stared at the floor and gave them, what he figured to be, his last instructions as Got7’s leader. His eyes watered as all kind of emotions ran through his very soul. He loved his brothers, he was proud of everything they’ve built together, but he couldn’t stand looking at any of them now. He failed to keep them together, he felt like a total failure. He couldn’t fix that, he was a fool to think he ever could.

“This stay between us. Not a word to our manager or JYP. We’ll attend the fan Meeting tomorrow and inform fans about our disbandment.”Jaebeom finally left the room, leaving everyone speechless with his statement. It took two seconds to a worried Jinyoung run after him.

“I can’t believe I left fucking Thailand to hear this shit!” Bambam was the first to express his resentment. He wanted to sound tough, but everyone noticed how his voice cracked. His nose was red, he was about to cry too. He looked at Yougyeom, shook his head in denial and stomped out of the room. His friend promptly followed him, ignoring the tears that escaped from the corner of his own eyes.

“Was he gentle with you? Did he force you to do anything?” Mark asked quietly without looking at his dongsaeng. Since it was only the three of them in the room now, he talked freely. He feared his answer, but when Jae looked at him quizzically he sighed relieved.

“What the hell, Mark!” Jackson looked at him alarmed.

“Well, I think I should book the first flight to the U.S I can find.” Mark got up from his chair and Jackson did the same. He was about to grab the American’s arm but at the last minute he refrained from doing so. He didn’t want to scare him.

“Yien, please don’t go. JB might change his mind eventually. He can’t be that headstrong!”

“You touched his favorite dongsaeng with your repugnant hands. Good luck trying to fix this, Jack! You will never regain his trust, nor mine!” He retorted angrily and shot a last look of pity at Youngjae, who covered his face with his hands and cried hard. At that moment Jackson realized he had lost Mark a second time.

The next day was a day of mourning for the 7 members of the most popular Kpop group of South Korea. Each one them carefully chose their outfits in the changing room, it felt like they were getting ready for a funeral. Almost 6 years of brotherhood was about to be buried that morning. The mood was low. The staff noticed, their manager too. But JB assured them that the boys were just nervous to meet their Ahgases again. Even JYP came to cheer them on in their first appearance as a complete Got7 after such a long hiatus, but his presence only put more pressure on them. Jinyoung wanted to comfort his members somehow, but he thought that if he started one of his encouraging monologues, he would start crying too. And he didn’t know if he would be able to stop before the meeting started. He received a text from Youngjae informing him of Mark’s planned departure, but he wasn’t going to deal with him right now. They all needed their space. Drama wouldn’t help them now. He promised himself that their fans would have the time of their lives before the dreadful news was disclosed by JB.

Yougyeom still believed that everything could be a terrible nightmare. His Thai friend wasn’t as optimistic as usual, so he felt the need to be strong for him. Bambam changed clothes thousands of times and he didn’t look satisfied with anything, though Yougyeom kept giving him the thumbs up whenever he asked his opinion about his look. Jackson waited for a miracle to happen as his hair stylist commented how the place was packed with fans from all over the world. Youngjae and Mark were at the backstage, silently eyeing the Ahgases behind the curtain. The American hadn’t slept well, and it wasn’t just the Valium withdrawal that ruined his slumb. He wondered how his parents would feel when he returned home, defeated. He wouldn’t have the heart to tell them how almost 6 years of endurance and conquests turned into dust. Youngjae felt miserable, he knew that although he wanted to make JB jealous, his move was too bold, and unnecessary. Truth to be told, he didn’t expect that kind of reaction. Yet, he wouldn’t dare to confront the leader about that. He just felt sorry for all his members of Got7.

“I wish I had never said it.” He thought out loud and a tired Mark beside him patted his back. Youngjae looked at him surprised.

“Hush, kid. We all make mistakes. It is all over now. Maybe it was better this way.” Mark sounded distant as he gave the younger a disheartened short smile. Youngjae was about to say something when Mark’s phone beeped. He observed how the elder’s face changed as he read a message silently. What Youngjae didn’t know was that Mark was being asked to make one of the biggest choices of his life.

‘If both of them fell on the ocean, who would you save? Jinyoung or Jackson? Choose wisely and choose now. Your indecision may harm both of them.’
Xx letter2u

Mark was so tired of the games that he replied promptly.

‘You can throw Wang at the bottom of the ocean for all I care.’

He typed hurriedly and turned off his phone. His dongsaeng looked at him quizzically, but he didn’t want to pry.

After a few more minutes, the great moment had arrived. All the flashes, the claps, the screams, the insanity overwhelmed them. Ahgases couldn’t get too close to the boys, but they were happy enough to see them all together.They answered simple questions for their fans and just to be reconnected with them made them lighter. They couldn’t help but have a great time too. They refrained from answering anything related to the letter2u case. Their lawyers warned them about that. 30 minutes passed and it seemed they were used to each other again. The familiar teasing, the internal jokes, they all came out naturally. Only Jackson and Youngjae weren’t as talkative as the others. A snack was distributed to the fans by the staff. Jackson hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday, but his fans gave him enough energy to crave for food again. As he started chewing his sandwich he felt his mouth become numb and his head become heavy. Someone in the audience screamed something but he couldn’t focus. Bambam who sat at his side brought a napkin to his nose. It was only then he noticed his own nose bleeding. Some fans started crying and suddenly all the members were around the Chinese. He felt like throwing up, yet his throat was closed. As he tried to get up to clean himself he almost stumbled, but JB caught him before he fell on the floor. Jackson started coughing blood as he tried to say something, but soon he passed out. Some fans swore he had said something in Chinese. But only Mark caught his
‘Wo ai ni, Yien.’

An ambulance was called and the FanMeeting was dismissed. As the 6 consternated members all entered in a van to follow the ambulance the rapper was in, Mark wondered what he had done.

Chapter Text

Jackson’s parents flew to Korea as soon as they heard the news. They definitely hated that country. For the second time their son’s group was brutally targeted by an anonymous individual, who the authorities seemed to be unable to capture. If they could’ve moved their son to a hospital in Hong Kong they’d have done it immediately, but doctors informed them and JYPE that, although his life wasn’t at risk, the rapper might need a throat surgery and he needed to be in observation. Ahgases all over the world blamed JYPE for not securing the 7 boys as they should, after all it was a snack served by the staff that poisoned Jackson. All the others who ate the food at the FanMeeting didn’t have any problems, so it seemed that the rapper was the main target this time. Police started investigating if the previous attempt to Mark’s life was connected to this second attempt to Jackson’s, but as expected, it would take time to question every single person who attended that meeting, including the staff. The six members of the group went to their social media express their sadness for what happened that day and they also asked their fans to pray for the Chinese’s fast recovery. They also mentioned that the company increased the security at each member’s homes and that Ahgases shouldn’t fear for their safety at the moment. But focus on Jackson. Everyone’s biggest fear was the possibility of a permanent loss of voice. Nobody wanted to hear that Jackson’s throat injury could hinder his career as a musician. And if it eventually happened he’d probably have a hard time accepting it. Got7, his fans and the kpop world would never be the same again.

Three days passed and no one was allowed to see Jackson at the hospital yet, but his own family. The other members wanted to see him, but they weren’t allowed to leave their apartments, for their own safety. They talked to each other through the group chat most of the time, but Mark wasn’t much responsive as expected. The other 5 members knew he felt guilty somehow, since everything happened after their fight, but only the American knew that he was the one directly responsible for Jackson’s state. He made a cruel choice and although he felt bad about it, he was relieved that no harm was done to Jinyoung. He wouldn’t be able to breathe if anything happened to his dongsaeng. And truth to be told, whoever he picked, would never be a good choice. He didn’t like being alone at his apartment, not now that he had no Valium to numb him down, nor a cigarette to distract him. Guilt ate at him. He tried to remind himself that the guy who was laying in that hospital bed was the same that raped, betrayed and manipulated him. Yet, it was all of the beautiful and old memories of their relationship that plagued his mind. He felt like shit, or worse, like a murderer. He wondered if he should go to the police, tell them about letter2u’s note, the phone message and his reply. But then he thought about Jackson’s parents, and how his mother would curse at him, and how his father would probably regret giving the couple his blessing when they started dating. He thought about his members and how they’d be disappointed. He knew Bambam would censure him more, since he’s the closest to the Chinese. And certainly all of the others would think he did it for revenge.

He stared out his window and he felt tempted to jump, but soon, one of the security guards outside signaled him to close his curtains. Shit, he couldn’t even have privacy while contemplating suicide. He certainly needed to increase his JYP dose. Suddenly an idea crossed his mind. He climbed his own window and sat there, wearing a maniacal smile on his face. Three securities were already on alert. ‘Take me out of here, or I’ll jump.’ He screamed at them, and soon he was in front of Jinyoung’s door, with the three securities behind him.

“What are you doing here!?” the singer asked as he opened the door to let him in. The three securities stayed outside guarding the entrance.

“I convinced them to let me come here. Where’s your security?” Mark asked casually as he entered the living room.

“They are making their rounds in the building. Look, I still have a drama to finish, Mark. This is not a good time. With all this craziness going on, I barely have time to concentrate on my own lines.” Jinyoung answered him, as he held a paper in front of his face. It seemed that Mark interrupted him while he tried to memorize his character’s lines. He sat elegantly on the sofa as he quietly read to himself. Mark didn’t like that, if they were boyfriends, he was expecting a warmer welcome. The singer was ignoring him and he couldn’t bear his indifference.

“Too much on your mind?” the American tried as he sat beside him carefully.

“Silence. I’m working here.” Jinyoung whispered without taking his eyes from the paper.

“I missed you.” Mark muttered, as he bit his lip. That sentence caught his attention. The singer immediately put the paper down, and brought his fingers to his hyung’s lips, making the older release his tortured lower lip.

“Same here.” Jinyoung said sincerely as he gave him a peck on his lips. The contact was brief and Mark wanted more, he craved more. He yearned to feel something other than guilt and despair.

“Are you still in love with me? Aren’t you happy that I came to see you?!” Mark asked with a pout. Jinyoung’s demeanor totally changed as he heard those words.

“Of course I am! All this time, I anxiously waited for you to call me. I even heard that you’re going back to America! I thought that after what happened to him, you’d change your mind about us. Maybe even regret being with me now. I figured that the next time we were face to face like this, you would reject me all over again. When you showed up at my door, my heart was in my mouth. I was just waiting for you to bring up the dreadful subject. I didn’t want to push you, I know you need your space sometimes.” The singer’s hesitancy was clear in his deep chocolate eyes. Mark loved how his dongsaeng was always thoughtful and considerate of his feelings. He loved to be loved by someone like him. He wanted to prove to his new lover how much he was grateful for having him in his life.

“Jackson is my past. You are my present. Nothing will change that. Let me show you.” As soon as Mark stated those words, he jumped on his lap and initiated a fervent kiss that took his dongsaeng’s breath away. As seconds passed, they seemed to forget their need to breathe. Their hands freely explored each other’s body, up and down. As kisses turned to bites, sucking, moaning, and lickings, they felt the immense need to get rid of their own clothes. Mark kept grinding against Jinyoung, as he felt his growing arousal underneath him. For a moment, Jinyoung turned his face to his and stared right into his eyes.

“Are you sure? I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop myself if you keep this up.” His voice was so hoarse with lust that it turned on Mark even more. The American just nodded at him as he took off his own hoodie and shirt. As soon as he revealed his delicious chest, Jinyoung brought his mouth to his nipples, and mercilessly sucked at them. Meanwhile, Mark started unbuttoning the singer’s shirt and marveled at the gorgeous sight before him. His fingers massaged his firm abs and soon travelled to the bulge in his pants. Jinyoung’s erection screamed for release. So Mark got up from the couch, took of his pants and boxers and kneeled between his legs. Jinyoung watched him with desire as his own pants and boxers were taken from him. The feeling of Mark’s warm mouth around his shaft almost made him come. He softly stopped the older as he held him by the shoulders and caressed his chin.

“Don’t do that. Come up here. Let me take care of you.” Jinyoung’s voice was so gentle that made Mark moan just by the sound of it. The singer lifted him up, and brought him to lay on his back on his huge sofa.
The American obediently laid down and opened his legs wide, making room for Jinyoung to position himself between them. The singer salivated at the sight, he yearned to slam his dick inside his hyung’s hole, but he promised himself to take things slow. So he properly stimulated Mark’s anus, with kissing, sucking, scissoring and licking. With his other free hand, Jinyoung jerked him off in a unbearable rhythm. The sounds of pleasure that escaped the American’s mouth as he was skillfully rimmed and given a hand job at the same time, almost drove his lover crazy.

“Wait here for me, don’t move, I’ll be back.” Jinyoung got up quickly and went to his bedroom fetch some lube. Mark was about to protest, but soon the dongsaeng was between his legs again. The younger lubricated his partner’s entrance thoroughly as three fingers were easily slipped inside Mark. The anticipation scared the American a bit. The last time he was that intimate with someone, he ended up pretty hurt. Jinyoung felt him tense a bit underneath him.

“Hey, relax, we can stop here if you want me to.” Jinyoung told him with a soothing voice. Sweat dripped from his forehead. His hair almost covered both his eyes and his luscious lips were partly opened, begging to be kissed. The American had a Greek god naked before him and he couldn’t let that chance pass.

“Can I ride you? Let me ride you, I wanna feel you come inside me while I mount you.” Mark’s sexy voice brought heat to the singer’s cheeks and it didn’t take long for him to change positions with the American. Suddenly Mark was on top of him, kissing Jinyoung like there was no tomorrow. The dongsaeng’s erection teased at his entrance every time Mark leaned in for a kiss and rubbed his chest o the other.

“Mark you’re killing me!” Jinyoung whined as he held the American’s hips with both his hands and bucked at him. As he himself couldn’t take anymore of the foreplay, Mark lifted his hips up a bit and slowly inserted Jinyoung’s penis in his love hole. When he completely sat on his hard dick, he arched his back with delight. Both of them moaned loudly as they finally bathed in each other’s warmth. When the American started moving up and down riding Jinyoung’s cock, the groaning singer also took care of his hyung’s hard on. Their rhythm increased with each stroke, each stolen kiss, and the erotic sound of flesh slapping together. Jinyoung’s masculine hands dug into Mark’s bony hips so the singer could ram into him faster. Mark wailed erotically as the singer hit the right spot inside him.

“Jin…Youngie, I’m close.” The American managed to say, between the other’s vigorous thrusts. The singer then moved as he almost sat on the sofa without disconnecting himself from the older. He brought their bodies impossible together as the friction sent multiple sensations through his whole body. The heat inside Mark’s body became his own and they both came together in a passionate embrace.
They panted uncontrollably while looking at each other’s eyes. That was a unique moment for the pair, they had given themselves completely to each other. Jinyoung couldn’t help but voice what his wildly beating heart shouted at him.

“Saranghae, Marku.” Jinyoung confessed one more time, as they basked in the afterglow of their lovemaking. He didn’t expect the other to say it back. He didn’t want the American to feel obliged to return his feelings, so before Mark started moving his lips he quickly captured them. Mark’s half-opened eyes closed once more, as he felt Jinyoung’s tongue make its way into his mouth, exploring every inch of it. The American did his best to respond to what his dongsaeng had just told him. He wished the younger could feel the intensity of his own feelings in that kiss. No proper words, nor language were able to describe them. He had never gone through such a life-changing experience as the one he had just shared with the Korean. For the first time in a long time he was fully happy. He knew that he was content with Jackson at some point in his life. But this, this was truly special. A tear escaped his eyes worrying his boyfriend, but he quickly informed him with a bright smile that those were tears of joy. Jinyoung stroke his face in adoration, he had never felt so much security and insecurity at the same time. He wondered if those tears were really because of his effect on him, or because of Jackson’s situation. Deep down he wanted to be sure that from now on Mark would be only his.

“How are you feeling?” Jinyoung asked as he showered his face with butterfly kisses.

“Loved and in love.” Mark said with a dreamy smile as he run his hand through his dongsaeng’s hair. Jinyoung gasped at the reply. His eyes were big as saucers when he stopped his kisses and scanned Mark’s eyes more closely. If it wasn’t by the annoying knocking on his door, he would have never got up from the sofa. The feeling of leaving Mark’s body made him curse under his breath. But he knew that if he didn’t get the door, his and Mark’s bodyguards would break into his place. So he gave Mark a final kiss, picked up his trousers from the floor and put them on. Then he briefly went into his bedroom, returned with a sheet to cover his lover’s naked form and walked to his door. When he opened it, he was in for another shock.

“Jaebeom-ah!” Jinyoung exclaimed as the exasperated leader let himself in.

“Guess what! Jackson has been awake for a while, and he’s talking! He’s allowed to have more visitors. There’s no need for any surgery. Our manager found that that his mom wants to bring him back to Hong Kong without telling anyone. We gotta get to that hospital and convince him to stay. You’re coming with me right now! I already told the others to meet me there. I wasn’t able to contact Mark, but I figured you would be able to tell me where he is.” Jaebeom only paused to breathe when he glanced at Jinyoung’s couch and noticed the American wrapped up in Jinyoung’s sheets.

“Let me get ready then. Can I barrow some of your clothes?” Mark didn’t seem bothered by the leader’s scrutinizing eyes. When Jinyoung nodded at his request, he slowly disappeared into the singer’s room.

“No wonder this place smells like sex.” Jaebeom gave his member a judging look.

“I know what you’re thinking, okay?! While poor Sseunah is recovering in a hospital bed, the backstabbing member Park Jinyoung is secretly screwing his ex-boyfriend.” Jin stated, ready to hear his friend’s rebuke. Yet, Jaebeom frowned at him.

“You know, this would be a quite interesting newspaper headline. Not to say hilarious!” The leader chuckled as he watched Jin’s expression soften with relief.

“Jesus, that’s not funny!” the younger said as he threw a cushion at him and moved to put his shirt on.

“So, it’s official then?” he asked his dongsaeng casually.

“I guess so.”

“I’m happy for you both then. Is it safe to sit on that couch?” Jaebeom smirked knowingly.

“You’ll be more comfortable in the armchair.” Jinyoung couldn’t help but blush a little.

“Markjin is really happening. Man, who would’ve thought! Sorry for discouraging you in the past, bro. The idea seemed so far-fetched. Perhaps, if you kept pursuing him back then, you guys could’ve ended up together sooner.” JB seemed a bit distant for a second. Jinyoung didn’t wanna reminisce those tough years of rejection, so he changed the subject.

“Look, we’ve been avoiding the subject for a while. None of us even brought it up on the group chat. Are we still disbanding?”

“No way.” The leader said simply. His friend raised an eyebrow at that.

“Really? I thought that with everything that happened, this second attempt against the group and all, you’d have one more reason to give up on Got7.” Jinyoung sounded uncertain.

“It gave me more motivation to push us forward. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it, together, as a group.” JB’s resolution surprised his dongsaeng.

“So you finally came to your senses.” Mark came back to the living room fully clothed and ready to join them.

“It seems I’m not the only one. Glad to see you are not sedated anymore.” JB stated as Mark stared firmly at him.

“You know, by the way you reacted after learning about JackJae extracurricular bedroom activities, anyone would think you have more than brotherly feelings towards him.” Mark retorted as JB’s chin abruptly came out, a sign that his hyung’s words were not very welcomed.

“Shall we go and bring our member back? We don’t wanna keep our dongsaengs waiting.” Jinyoung moved to the door, hoping the other two would follow him.

“Aren’t you going to clean yourself up?” JB inquired as he still eyed Mark with intimidation. Jinyoung just dismissed his question with a wave of his hand and the three finally left to the hospital.

The 6 members of Got7 waited for Jackson’s parents to leave. The nurse informed the boys that they usually had lunch at the Hospital’s canteen at noon, and about an hour later they'd return to the rapper’s room. When Got7 noticed Jackson’s parents head to the elevator, Mark asked his 5 members to let him enter the room first, since he needed to exchange words with the Chinese in private. The others weren’t willing to let it happen, but Jinyoung was the one who convinced them to be patient and wait.

As soon as Jackson felt a presence in his room, his eyes opened. He gasped at the sight before him. His ex-boyfriend had finally come to see him, yet, he clearly wore Jinyoung’s clothes. He recognized them with at a single glance. Mark timidly walked to the edge of his bed and sat down, still organizing his thoughts. He could feel the rapper’s eyes follow his movements and nervousness got the best of him. He bit his lip, trying to find his own voice.

“How did you manage to get in?” the Chinese spoke with his deep familiar tone. Mark sighed in relief. He thought he would never be able to hear that voice again. And what a tragedy would that be! Suddenly the guilt he felt all this time finally caught up to him. Mark couldn’t help but sob.

“I’m sorry, it was all my fault.” He confessed, as tears adorned his face. Jackson reached for his hand and he was surprised when the American allowed that simple gesture.

“I’m the one who’s sorry. Don’t worry, Mark. You didn’t have a choice. Whether you saved the man you loved or the guy who raped you. No one can blame you for that. After all, it wasn’t you who poisoned me, it was letter2u.”

“What?! How do you know?” Mark asked in disbelief as he wiped the tears from his face.

“The stalker contacted me too. That maniac made me lie about Youngjae. The note just said, ‘Tell Mark you slept with another member, or else…’ That was it! I became desperate. I thought of Bambam, Yougyeom, JB and Jinyoung. The 3 are straight and the last is in love with you. If I made up a story about them you wouldn’t believe me! Moreover, I had no doubt they’d deny it vehemently. I wasn’t sure if Youngjae would agree to help me out, either. But when I went to your apartment and found him there, he told me what happened the night before. I convinced him that the best way to get back at JB was pretending to be with me. The kid was so bitter at that point, that he would believe whatever I told him. Therefore, we carefully made a pact. I was supposed to tell JB that we slept together and he would do the same for me, telling to you the same. Our white lie would just make the ones we love jealous. That was the plan. We didn’t know how bad things would turn out, though.” Jackson licked his lips nervously and looked away ashamedly.

“JB was about to announce the end of Got7! You would let something like that happen?!” Mark was about to explode after listening to the whole story. He took his hands from him and paced around the room.

“I would, if it would guarantee your safety. It was the least I could do after what I did to you. If I was told to jump from a building, I’d do it in a heartbeat, Dimsun. Anything to keep you alive! But Youngjae wasn’t that resilient, he ended up telling JB seconds before we started the FanMeeting. Our leader had no reason to give Ahgases the bad news then.” The Chinese coughed a bit and instantly Mark was beside him again.

“I don’t want you to risk everything for me anymore, Mandu.” Mark whispered to him softly using his old nickname. Suddenly he pitied the Chinese. He was aware that what happened in Macau would never be forgotten, but he forgave him. Deep down he realized that episode damaged both of them. It was time to let bygones be bygones. The past should stay in the past from now on. He was deep in thought when he noticed how Jackson’s eyes curiously examining his clothes.

“I see that even after I lied about the JJ Project affair you guys still found your way to each other.” The rapper looked down bitterly.

“You’ll find someone who loves you like you deserve to be loved, Wang Jia-er. Just give it some time.” Mark said as he patted his head, unable to find a way to console him. The Chinese’s eyes brimmed with tears.

“When I woke up in this hospital bed and found a flower bouquet beside me, I thought it was yours. Silly me! When I read the note, I realized it was just letter2u kindly informing me that you had moved on. That’s when I found out you’d rather see me drowning in the bottom of the sea. It was a wake up call for me. I finally perceived how you hated me, for hurting you like that, for violating you, not just physically, but also verbally. I’m so ashamed, Yien! Please, forgive me for not knowing how to love you right.” The rapper sobbed as he pulled the American into a hug. The other accepted his gesture and hugged him back.

“No one needs to now, Jack. We’ll keep this between us. The others shall never know about Macau nor about the return of letter2u. I don’t want Jinyoung to blame himself for what happened to you at the FanMeeting. The members wouldn’t be able to digest what really went on at that brothel. Promise me, they’ll never know.” Mark broke their embrace and held both sides of his face to meet his eyes.

“Whatever you say, Mark.” Jackson whispered back, and for a lingering second, he felt tempted to taste those lips he missed so much. It was intoxicating to have the American so close to him after so long. When he was about to lean in to close the tiny distance between them, 5 noisy individual invaded the room. The loud voices startled Mark, who immediately to a step away from the bed. Jinyoung eyed him as if he had done something bad.

“All right, hyung, your time is up. It’s our turn to visit the patient.” Bambam cheered energetically as he almost jumped on Jack’s bed, who smiled like an idiot. He missed the antics of his members.

“We came to get you out of here before your crazy Mom abducts you!” Yougyeom said it without thinking and immediately Jaebeom hit his head disapprovingly.

“Don’t be impolite, kid. I didn’t raise you like this, have some manners, will you? She’s not crazy, just worried about her son’s well-being. We all are.” The leader emphasized his last sentence, as he came close to the bed and ruffled the rapper’s hair. The patient welcomed the gesture and kept smiling like a kid. He knew how the leader wasn’t very fond of skinship and for him to do that after the JackJae fiasco was really impressive.

“I brought you some cookies. Hospital food is awful. Would you like to have them now?” It was Younjae’s turn to talk. He sat on a chair beside his bed and looked at him sympathetically. Jackson could swear he had never seen Jae look so cute and innocent. He wondered how JB could stand that and not fall for that ball of sunshine. He was so deep in thought that he didn’t even answer his dongaseng’s question.

“Are you really able to talk? Whatever Mark told you or did to you, made you speechless like that?” Jinyoung’s tone hid something Jackson was quite familiar with. Jealousy. He realized that when the group entered the room, the scene they witnessed was a really suspicious, and if Jinyoung was really dating Mark now, his annoyance was understandable. He was the only one who still stood at the door and avoided the bed.

“Sorry, just savoring the moment. I’m really touched to see all of you here to bring me home.” Jack finally spoke and the others teased him with cooing voices.

“What about we do a Vlive to celebrate this moment? Ahgases all over the world will see for themselves how Jack recovered fast.” Bambam suggested and the others thought it would be a good idea. They all squeezed themselves around Jackson and the rapper had to yell “Park Gae, come to your Wang Gae” to get Jinyoung’s attention. The embarrassed singer shook his head in defeat and finally came closer to the bed to give the Chinese a bear hug. They put a mask on the Chinese and after adjusting Mark’s cellphone, they were live. Lots of fans almost passed out when they saw Jackson and to hear him speak through the mask was a blessing. The broadcast obviously broke viewership records on VLIve.

“Come on everyone, say hi to Brazil!” the goofy rapper exclaimed, as all the others followed his clue and screamed to the screen “Hi Brazil!!!”
They played jokes on each other, they laughed, answered fans questions and when Jackson’s parents returned, they found an empty room and a note on his pillow.

‘Sorry Ma and Pa, I went home to my brothers. Only we know the path of each other’s dreams. It’s 7 or never.’

Chapter Text

Jackson wasn’t allowed to join the dance practices or the studio rehearsals yet. Since he had been discharged from the hospital, the company gave him three weeks off, followings his doctors instructions. His parents went back to Hong Kong, but promised J.Y.P.E that if something happened to their son again, they would be facing a lawsuit. The 6 members of the group knew that if Jackson was left alone in an apartment he wouldn’t allow himself to rest, since he was practically a workaholic, so, it was decided that he should stay at a member’s apartment for the time being. Surprisingly, Jinyoung and JB were the first to volunteer to take him in. The younger members complained, Mark pretended he had nothing to do with it and Youngjae just thought it would be sensible to keep their distance from now on. Rock, paper, scissors wasn’t ideal, so the final decision was made by the Chinese. They turned to him and let him pick which apartment he would feel more comfortable to stay. And he picked Jinyoung’s, Got7’s Mom.

Mark froze on the spot when he saw the singer put his arm around Jackson victoriously, replying the famous slogan of the JackJin ship, ‘Wang Gae, Park Gae.’ The Chinese’s yell of excitement almost shattered his eardrums. The American didn’t think it was wise of his boyfriend to do that. Even if the rapper seemed to understand that he was with Jinyoung now, Mark still thought it was odd of him to act so indifferent. It was definitely not a good idea to let his current boyfriend spend time alone with his ex, so, he himself decided to spend more time at the singer’s apartment, just to make sure everything was in order. He wondered what was going through Jackson’s mind and he couldn’t help but suspect of a possible hidden agenda.

It was a rainy afternoon when Mark decided to stop by his boyfriend’s home. He didn’t need to warn Jinyoung he was coming. They had already exchanged copies of each other’s apartment keys and the American knew he was welcomed there anytime. He still remembered how his heart did a double somersault when the singer put they key on his hand and informed him, ‘what’s mine is yours’. Their relationship evolved that fast and he wasn’t about to complain about it. Years were wasted before, now they wouldn’t miss a chance to express their love for each other.

Without ceremony, he opened the door of Jinyoung’s apartment and was met with an unexpected view. Jinyoung and Jackson’s faces were too close as both leaned in for a kiss.

“What the hell is going on here?!” Mark shouted, unable to keep himself in check. The other two immediately stepped away from each other startled with his presence.

“Fuck this shit, Mark! We were about to get this scene right!” Jackson complained annoyed as he went to lie down on the sofa and turned on the TV. Jinyoung’s eyes formed an adorable crescent-moon shape as he smiled at his hyung’s childish behavior. That made the American even more irritated.

“Aren’t you going to answer me?” he eyed Jinyoung with impatience. The singer chuckled, but soon he regretted it as he noticed how his lover seemed to be royally pissed. Mark threw his key on the floor and crossed his arms around himself, waiting for an explanation. That gesture was incredibly savage and the singer somehow, enjoyed the view. A mad Mark was an alluring Mark.

“Hey, babe, as much as I love to see you all heated like that, I’ll have to ask you to please take a deep breath and listen to me.” Jinyoung said quite collected. Jackson giggled, shaking his head as he watched the drama develop.

“That’s the LA gangster for you, he’s even hotter when he’s angry. Damn, I miss that.” The Chinese commented as Jinyoung frowned at him reprovingly.

“Is this some kind of joke for you? That’s why you practically moved in with him?! So you could get your hands on him?” Mark walked menacingly towards the couch Jackson was sitting, but Jinyoung was faster and held his arm.

“He was helping me rehearse for a kiss scene on He is Psychometric. That’s all, I swear. We were doing nothing wrong. I kept getting shy at the studio, so Sseunnah offered to give me a hand with it. Please, don’t misunderstand the whole thing. I love you and that will never change!” the edge on Jin’s voice almost melted Mark’s heart. It didn’t take long for him to remember who he was dating. He wasn’t with Jackson anymore and Jinyoung wasn’t the cheating type. He suddenly felt bad for throwing a hissy fit over nothing. So he picked up his key from the floor and threw his arms around his boyfriend.

“I love you too, I’m sorry!” Mark said softly as he kissed Jinyoung’s ears. His dongsaeng blushed as he felt the hot breath of his lover on his neck.

“Boring!” the Chinese complained as he returned his focus to the TV.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. Wait, in fact there is, I’m about to leave for the filming set. Will you be here when I come back?” Jinyoung asked hopefully. Mark then eyed a distracted Jackson and the TV. He wondered how long that cooking show would keep him entertained. He wasn’t in the mood for interaction. It would be the first time they’d be left alone after the talk they had at the hospital. The American hid his lingering fear of the situation, and nodded awkwardly at his partner. An oblivious Jinyoung smiled contently at him, said his good byes to his Chinese hyung and before he walked out the door, he kissed Mark, mouthing an inaudible ‘see you later’ to the older.

As soon as the singer was out, Mark heard the sound of the TV die down. And Jackson was right behind him. His heart skipped a beat when he faced the other. He tried to play it cool, but the Chinese read him as an open book.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, you know.”

“I’m not.” He lied as he walked past the rapper and went into the kitchen.

“Did you really think a JackJin action was going on? You know, a good and healthy relationship is all about trust.” The Chinese reminded him as he leaned on the kitchen counter.

“And you know all about trust, don’t you?” Mark remarked, as he put himself a glass of water without looking at the other.

“That’s why we didn’t work out. I didn’t trust you enough and you trusted me too much. Things were quite unbalanced. What I am saying is that you had a pretty bad experience with me and it obviously marked you forever! Your ability to trust people is ruined. But you need to realize that you shouldn’t have to worry about Jinyoung, he’s not me, he’ll never be.” Jackson tried to sound reasonable, but his words had a different effect. Mark took a sip of his water and put it down on the sink with such strength that it almost shattered to pieces.

“Look at you Jackson Freakin’ Wang, Got7’s love advisor! Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that! Don’t you think I know you two are completely different? I trust him all right, I just don’t trust him with you! You shouldn’t even be here in the first place. Don’t you dare to patronize me, you son of a bitch! You don’t get to tell me how I should feel anymore!” the American himself didn’t even know where that anger was coming from. He had promised himself to put the past behind him, but his emotions suddenly took the best of him as his hands trembled and his heart beat like a hammer. Maybe he was having a panic attack? He didn’t know. He wanted to cry and break things at the same time. He wanted to stop hurting, he wanted to disappear. His eyes scared the Chinese, his hyung wasn’t simply mad, he looked unhinged.

“Mark, please, calm down. I didn’t mean it like that, seriously.” Jackson worriedly walked to him, as the American looked like he was about to hyperventilate. When the older felt the the rapper’s hand on his shoulder he pushed him away violently, went to the sink broke the glass in half and threateningly pointed its sharp side to his ex. The Chinese was even more taken aback.

“If you come any closer, I swear I’ll stick you with this! I’ll cut your throat open and finish what letter2u didn’t! You should’ve died from that poison and so should I, if you had just let that car ran over me. We are supposed to be dead. Look at us, we are dead! Now, get out!” he screamed frantically, making exaggerated gestures with the piece of glass in his hand. Instead of cowering or running, Jackson took a step forward again more carefully. He was not leaving Mark alone in that state.

“Yien, listen to me. That’s not necessary, put that down, baby. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“How?! Like this?!” Mark cried as he brought the glass to his forearm and started making repeated cuts on it. Jackson immediately jumped on him exasperated, wrapping his arms around him from behind. The Chinese used his bare hands to take the glass away from the American, who fought energically, punching his chest. The rapper embraced him firmly just to keep his ex from reaching for the glass again. Jinyoung’s kitchen was a bloody mess at that point. Jackson could feel Mark’s blood wet his shirt, as he held the American to him, but he didn’t care. The younger only loosed his hold on him when he felt the other relax in his arms. A sad symphony filled the air as soft sobs reached his ears.

“Don’t cry, please. I’m sorry, honey, what has gotten into you? Please don’t ever do that again.” Jacks own eyes brimmed with tears. He had never seen Mark in that state and he hated to be the cause of it. He was so terrified of what had just developed before his eyes that he wasn’t sure if it was real.

“Why did you do it to me, I loved you so much, for so long! I‘ve never given you a reason, ever. Why did you have to hurt me like that, why, why Jack?” Mark repeated so many ‘whys’ that the Chinese lost count of it. And each time he heard it he felt his soul fracture. The American sounded so disconsolate and worn down, that it finally brought the younger back to reality. Those cuts needed to be looked at. They weren’t deep, most of them scratches, but they still bled.

“Come with me, I know where Jin keeps his first aid kit. Let me bandage you up.” Jackson quietly led him by the arm to the bathroom, and after asking him to sit down on the toilet lid, he started treating his wounds.

“Please don’t tell him.” Mark pleaded with a small voice and looked up at Jackson miserably.

“Any ideas of how you will explain these bandages to him?”

“I’ll manage. Most of the time I wear long-sleeved shirts, anyway. He won’t even notice.” He answered simply.

“How about when you two are naked in bed?” Jackson inquired bluntly, as he raised his eyebrow over the American’s answer. The older blushed furiously.

“You let me worry about that, okay?”

“We’re telling Jinyoung, Mark.” Jackson said firmly as he wondered how his dongsaeng would react. Jinyoung needed to be aware of the American’s emotional state. He was his boyfriend now and he had to look over him.

“I’ll do anything. Just don’t tell him. Look, I can make worth your while.” Mark insisted as he abruptly palmed the front of Jackson’s pants. The bold gesture startled the Chinsese, who, dropped the first aid-kit from the sink, tearing Mark’s unbandaged limb away from him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked disconcerted.

“I can suck you off, if you keep quiet about it.” Mark offered tiredly as the other gaped at him.

“Are you crazy! What makes you think I want that?” Jackson was really bothered by his behavior.
“You always wanted it before. But, perhaps, now you just want to bend me over this sink and ram your dick inside me, till I bleed.” Mark sounded bitter, and distant.

“You’re scaring the shit out of me, man. Stop saying these things, you’re not like that!” The Chinese had finally finished bandaging his wounds. So, he kneeled before the American and tried to read his faraway expression. He honestly didn’t know what to do with him. But it was clear Mark needed help.

“That’s right, you always loved the meek, inoffensive, defenseless Mark better. Love me, Kayee.” Mark changed his demeanor, and speaking quite gently, he slowly leaned in and gave the rapper a brief kiss just to see how he would react. Jackson continued immobile and didn’t stop him. So, he took that as a cue to close the distance between them again and give him another kiss, this time deeper, and Jackson couldn’t help but allow his tongue to invade his mouth. He couldn’t believe what was happening, he never imagined his ex would come on to him like that. He surely missed the other’s lips on him, he wished he could enjoy that longer, yet he couldn’t. He pushed Mark away gently, shaking his head at him.

“Who’s the frigid one, now?” the American commented as he got up and rubbed his hand against his mouth. He acted like Jackson had left a bad taste on his lips. The Chinese got up too, determined to beat some sense into his ex.

“Mark, you’re traumatized, you need a psychologist. You should’ve never stopped seeing that doctor. You gotta face it that what happened in that kitchen or right here in this bathroom is not normal. That’s not you!” Jackson tried his best to convince him of the staggering truth. Mark didn’t face him, but examined his face though the cabinet mirror.

“Anyone who gets raped by his frigging boyfriend ought to act differently!” the American retorted acidly. The Chinese sighed in frustration and shame. It was sad, but true.

“Yeah, that’s why we’re gonna seek professional help. Both of us, all right?! We do need to manage our anger. We’re not mentally stable. I crossed a line when I did that to you and now you’re self-harming! ”

“I don’t like doctors. And I certainly shouldn’t be on meds again. I can’t function with them.” Mark didn’t think anyone could help him achieve his peace of mind, but he really wanted to stop hurting at that point.

“I have some contacts, we’ll find someone who is totally against medication. We’ll keep this quiet, no one has to know that we’re getting you help. I even promise you not to tell anything about what happened today to Jinyoung. But you have to stick to the plan. You’ve gotta attend the sessions.” The Chinese knew that Jinyoung’s was the key to get Mark to agree to it.

“Okay. But if you betray me this time, if you tell a single soul, we’re done for good. I mean it, I’ll fucking ruin your life, I’ll fucking implode Got7 and I’ll fucking kill myself.” Mark’s words sounded extreme and his tone was cold. He had to inflict fear on the rapper to make him honor that agreement. Jinyoung couldn’t learn about this second emotional breakdown. If he did, everyone would know about the first one, and they would have him committed. Or worse, his parents would ship him to the U.S. permanently.

“You just named the two things that could instantly destroy me. Say no more. We have a deal. I’ll set the time and day. You just have to be there. We both know what happens if you don’t.” Jackson was aware that he was dicing with death, but he wouldn’t back down. He was going to get his ex fixed, and at the same time, benefit from some counseling too. But now he needed Mark to sleep. The kitchen had to be cleaned and the bathroom had to be spotless as always, before the owner of the apartment arrived. He wasn’t about to leave Mark alone and do those shores. He didn’t dare to bring him to the kitchen either. The bizarre images from earlier were still too fresh in his mind. So he decided to put him to bed in a way or another. That was the only way he could do what needed to be done without having to keep an eye on him at the same time.

“We need to clean everything before he returns. He can arrive at any moment.” Mark whispered nervously as he ran a hand through his silky hair. He seemed to have read the other’s mind. The Chinese chuckled at that. He quickly took a joint from his pocket, lit it up and offered it to Mark.

“Are you raving mad?! Smoking marijuana in Jinyoungie’s toilet is practically a sin. Besides, you’ve recently had a throat problem.” Mark looked scandalized, but a tiny bit amused. He knew that side of Jackson too well. He had always been wild, carefree and a rule breaker. Mark used to find that quite enticing. Nevertheless, they were in a different era now.

“It’s not for me, it’s for you. I’ll take care of everything in this apartment, but you need to be yourself again when he arrives. And I cannot do that by myself. It will make you relax, don’t worry, it’s inoffensive.” Jack suggested and Mark nodded eagerly, he really needed to take the edge off the unwavering pain he was feeling. He could use something to relieve the intensity of that moment with the Chinese.

Three hours passed and Jackson couldn’t bring himself to disentangle himself from Mark. They were both lying on Jinyoung’s bed. Mark had finally passed out from the cannabis and Jack just wanted to make sure he was really sleeping. He just laid beside him, pondering his next move as he watched the other breathe peacefully. He totally forgot about time. He couldn’t help but run his hands through the American’s hair, touch his closed eyes, the tip of his nose, his kissable lips, chin and cheeks. The rapper was mesmerized as he contemplated the amount of beauty before him. How he missed those kind of moments, when they just shared each other’s company, without saying hurtful words or engaging in some sort of make-up sex. Breathing the same air used to be enough when their relationship started. He wondered when exactly things radically changed between them. Yet, whatever it was, he knew he was the one to blame. Things started going wrong even before Jinyoung’s kiss, or Macau, though that was the last straw. He knew he would do anything for him, and if that wasn’t love, someone was yet to coin a word for that kind of feeling.

The magical moment was interrupted when a terrified singer showed up at the room and quietly signaled the rapper to follow him out. The Chinese obeyed, yet he noticed how Jinyoung came back to the room and approached the American twice as if to check he was still breathing. The singer looked relieved, but still dragged the other out of the bedroom with him. Jackson had made up his mind. As soon as they closed the door, leaving Mark undisturbed, he knew he couldn’t do that alone.

“What the hell happened in that kitchen? I leave you two alone for a couple of hours and you try to murder each other?!” Whose blood is that? Is Mark even alive in that room? Do I need to call the cops on you?” He sounded desperate, and furious at the same time. He eyed Jackson’s shirt stained with blood and he almost fainted.

“Mark is self-harming. He cut himself with a piece of glass right in front of me. He needs help and he promised me to do something about it if I kept this between us.” It just rolled out of his mouth. He could not bring himself to lie to Jinyoung. If he wanted Mark to heal, he just couldn’t keep that from him.

The other sat on the sofa heavily, covering his face with both his hands. A wave of guilty washed over him. He knew he should’ve committed his member in the first place, months ago, when he took those pills. As a matter of fact, Jackson was a trigger last time, he had left for Hong Kong while Mark was still dealing with the red car incident. Now he’s here in his apartment, and it happens again.

“What did you do? You must have done something!” Jinyoung spat, as he still had his hands over his face. He tried to control his voice in order to avoid waking Mark up.

“I have done and have said a lot of things to him throughout these years, but not today. He just snapped.” Jackson didn’t want to get into details about their talk in the kitchen.

“Let me talk to him.” Jinyoung finally got up with tears in his eyes. But Jackson held him back.

“He threatened me, Jin. His words were as sharp as that glass he used to cut his skin. He promised that if anyone finds out, he’s gone, he’ll off himself. You cannot let him know I revealed this to you. He’s terrified of the possibility. I guess he thinks you would be disappointed on him or something. I just told you the truth so you could be my ally. I’m sure that we, as a team, can bring the Mark we know back. I’m willing to take him myself to the sessions. He doesn’t’ have a choice.” The Chinese explained, but Jinyoung didn’t want to listen.

“Why should you be the one doing that?! I’m his boyfriend, not you! I won’t let you take him anywhere. You’ll probably make things worse!” Jinyoung kicked the center table as he felt impotent and anguished. He understood Mark’s unwillingness to ask him for help, he figured the other would feel ashamed to tell him he tried again, not long after assuring the younger that he wouldn’t regret trusting him. Jackson’s idea was smart and he even wondered why he didn’t think of blackmailing Mark like that before. He could’ve done the same his hyung was doing now. But that was usually Jackson’s method. He always got what he wanted, in a way or another. If he intended to bring the old Mark back, he would do it, no matter the cost. Perhaps, Mark would even thank him after that. And for all he knew, they could even get back together. When that idea crossed Jinyoung’s mind, his heart almost stopped beating.

“You don’t have a choice. Those are the terms. And if you really care about him, you’ll keep your damn mouth shut and help me clean your kitchen before he wakes up.” Jackson said impatiently as if he were disciplining a child.

“And what happens next? You cure him and then take him away from me? That’s your plan?” the singer asked miserably, as the other finally understood why he was rejecting his idea so much. They eyed each other with uncertainty. Jinyoung could only think that Jackson would get to be the hero a second time while he still remained powerless.

“I have no ulterior motive for trying to help him. There’s no chance of reconciliation between us. I assure you of that. Now stop staring at me this way and find me some cleaning utensils. Remember, this can only work if you play your role well.” Jackson stated as he went to the kitchen. Jinyoung followed him, still not focused on cleaning. There was so much he didn’t know about those two, but he wanted to understand what drove Mark away from the Chinese so abruptly. The singer wished he was close to Jackson as he used to be. He remembered then, of a time when the rapper would complain to the younger about all the ways Mark was making his life a living hell and a haven on earth at the same time. In the past, Jinyoung learned a lot about the shy and quiet American through his Chinese friend. But those days were long gone. He was with Mark now and he needed to be there for him no matter what.

“I know you must resent me. I never thought you’d look me in the face, let alone stay here in my apartment while I’m dating him. Yet, you chose to stay, and I don’t know why. You never reproached when I started to go out with him. Even though I’ve waited for you to throw in my face those last lines of my fucking monologue, ‘I shall never come between you two again’. For fucks’ sake, it’s been more than a month, and you didn’t even try to confront me! I know you’re madly in love with the guy, okay, and you must think I’m a backstabber for being with him now. So, if you have something to say, go ahead. But please, don’t leave me in the dark, man.” The singer was confused and somehow, he sensed that some terrible secret was kept hidden by his 2 foreign members.

“That’s what bothers you? That I actually think you might be good for him? Look, it’s not like you made it happen! It just did. He doesn’t love me anymore and he wants you by his side. I guess I don’t have a say in that. A near death experience change your perspective on life, kid. I thought I was going to die from that poison and I remember that the last thing I asked God was to keep him safe. When I woke up in that hospital bed and thought I would never be able to speak a word again, I prayed he would at least remember all my ‘I love yous’. However, when, he entered my room wearing your clothes, I just knew, I’d be happy with whoever he decided to be. I accepted you instantaneously. I’m not the same irrational and impulsive Wang Gae from before.” Jackson wanted to tell him about letter2u, and how the American chose him the dongsaeng over him. He wanted to confess what he did to the older during the Jus2 FanMeeting in Macau. But he had to honor his promise to his ex-lover.

“That means you don’t hate me?” Jinyoung asked quietly as he frowned at him.

“I wouldn’t be practicing that cheesy kiss scene with you for the millionth time if I did.” He smirked at the Korean. The other blushed, and smiled a little. The singer wanted to thank him, he had been avoiding that subject and he had been scared to death to bring it up. He was satisfied to hear what the Chinese had to say, he admired his firmness and was relieved to see how coolly he was handling that whole Markjin situation. He convinced himself that the rapper didn’t have to know about Mark’s first suicide attempt at that point, as long as his boyfriend got the help he needed now, there would be no other attempts in the future.

It was quiet when Mark woke up. The night sky filled his surroundings with darkness. Only the moonlight and the streetlights outside the window allowed him to recognize where he was. The soft pillow under his head brought him a comfort he didn’t feel very often. He soon realized he was in Jinyoung’s bed, he could smell his scent, feel his soft duvet against his body, he could even picture him there beside him.

“Dreaming about me?” The singer asked as he sat on a chair beside his bed. Mark quickly turned to him, suddenly startled as he sat on the bed. His eyes brightened.

“You’re back!” the American gave his boyfriend a fondly smile as he went to wrap his arms around him. Jinyoung wasn’t too receptive. His first instinct was to force his hyung to confess the events of that night. He wanted Mark to trust him completely, there should be no secrets between them. Anguished, he just held both Mark’s arms firmly, trying to get a reaction from him. His lover tried to endure the pain, while Jinyoung pressed down the wounds underneath the black long sleeved the American borrowed from Jackson. Mark bit his lips as his smile slowly faded. The other pretended not to see that.

“I’m glad you waited. How was your day? Anything you’d like to tell me? Where’s Jackson by the way?” Jinyoung played his role formidably, but Mark was not as skillful as him. Unable to endure the pain of Jinyoung’s strong hands on his freshly wounded forearm, he took his limbs away from his lover quickly, before it started bleeding again. The singer could notice his uncomfortableness and hated to see the struggle in his eyes. Jinyoung thought of the rapper’s words again, and what could happen if he did not stick to the plan. The fright he felt refrained him from confronting his boyfriend.

“I don’t know, maybe he’s out. The day was uneventful. I slept most of the time.” He lied through his teeth. Jinyoung sighed, as he smiled cutely at him. But on the inside, all the time he felt like shouting at his boyfriend. He felt like he didn’t deserve his dishonesty. Not him. He wondered if he could go on like that for too long.

“Good, now we have the whole place to ourselves. And we don’t have to worry about making much noise.” Jinyoung said suggestively as he jumped on bed beside him. He knew Jackson was out because he himself asked the Chinese to give him and Mark some privacy.

“Actually, I was thinking of going back home tonight. Tomorrow we have to finish off some details of the the album tracklist. Lots of work to be done.” Mark lied again, determined to find an excuse not to have sex with his boyfriend that night. He couldn’t allow his dongsaeng to see his bandaged cuts. He regretted what he did in the kitchen in front of Jackson, but it was too late, nothing could be done about that anymore. He felt bad for hiding things from the singer, but he wanted to spare Jinyoung the suffering of having to listen to the details of that ugly afternoon.

“All right then! We don’t have to exert ourselves. I just wanted to sleep beside you tonight, we can even keep our clothes on, I promise you.” Jinyoung soothingly informed the older, who immediately nodded at his request and laid beside him. The Korean kissed his forehead, smelled his hair, and laid his head on another pillow. Mark was happy with the gesture and gave him a brief peck on his lips, bringing their bodies closer. They stared at each other for hours as tiredness rendered them sound asleep. Before closing his eyes again, Mark wondered how lucky he was to have his JYP dose even while he slept. He thought of rejecting the therapy sessions, but he had to stop those panic attacks, for the sake of Jinyoung. It was about time to let healing begin. The singer didn’t deserve a suicidal lover, he deserved the world, and the American dreamed of ways to make him happy.

As for Jinyoung, he just wished he could spend more nights in the presence of his boyfriend, and he wanted Mark to want that too. He wondered how many more nights they would have the chance to share in the future. It saddened him to think that maybe there wouldn’t be too many. Would Mark give it all up and disappear from his sight? He wondered if his love wasn’t enough to feed the American’s will to live and if it wasn’t, he hoped Jackson could save him again.

Chapter Text

Three weeks later, their album was released. Got7 started promoting on all kinds of TV shows, and radios. They were constantly on online apps, magazines, social media and on the news in general. Korea supported the Kpop idols as if they were a national treasure. Success wasn’t difficult to achieve with ‘Spinning Top: Between Security & Insecurity’. They became global band ambassadors of several charity institutions and international brands. On TV, Vlive, or Youtube, or at any corner of the internet, they sounded entertaining as always and looked as handsome as always, but with an even larger fanbase backing them up. Ahgases all over the globe were avidly trying to buy ticket concerts for the ‘Keep Spinning World Tour’, however, in many countries, the tickets sold out in a few minutes. Mark and Jackson were the most popular members, of course, that ship was beyond famous now. The hero and the gentleman in distress. They even seemed to be a bit closer, after so many years of almost none skinship in front of the cameras. Some netizens even speculated that the Markson era could return and the Markjin era could be in crisis. Others would say that a MarkJinSon era was approaching. But the truth was that Mark and Jackson were indeed doing therapy together, and although Jinyoung didn’t like the idea at first, now he could see that his boyfriend seemed healthier, more confident and even happier. Oh, and he wouldn’t complain about his visual either, his dark brown locks and sexy veiny arms were a vision to die for. The American was in shape and thankfully sane. Jinyoung had finished his tvN’s television series and now he could focus solely on the band and his lover. His interaction with Jackson was civil and Got7 couldn’t be more grateful for that. If the members believed that Mark dating Jinyoung would cause a lot of tension in the group because of Jackson, they felt relieved now, to know that they were wrong. They had enough reasons to celebrate their wins on Music Bank, MCountdown and Inkigayo. It was at the backstage of Inkigayo that Jinyoung approached Jaebeom and brought him to an empty waiting room, away from cameras, staff and other idols. The singer wanted Got7’s leader to know about his future plans with Mark, however, the other wasn’t ready to hear what Jinyoung had to say.

“You will what?! Telll me you’re joking!” the older interjected as he made a face.

“Look, it’s not like I’m asking for your permission. I’m just informing you of my intentions. And I’m pretty sure he will say yes.” The dongsaeng tried not to be affected by his hyung’s scowl.

“Jinyoung-ah, your parents have no knowledge of what’s going on in your love life since we got into this kpop business. You never even came out to them! You’re not thinking straight! How can this magically work? I’m sorry, but I cannot give you the support you expect from me. We have an image to preserve. Supposedly, straight idols don’t date, nor get engaged, or get married! Let alone to other male idols, in the same band!” Jaebeom couldn’t stand his dongsaeng stupidity. It was a great day for Got7 and they were all in an excellent mood. Nevertheless, Park Jinyoung had to bring him down with his nonsensical talk of engagement.

“Look, I’m ready to settle down and I don’t wanna wait anymore. I love him and I’m pretty sure he feels the same. I just want to boost our relationship status. It’s not like we’re going to spread the news to the whole world. It doesn’t mean we’re choosing a wedding date or that we’re about to check out venues, buy a house and adopt kids. My parents don’t have to know yet. We can be discreet about it. I only want to put a ring on his finger.” The dongsaeng didn’t want to have to explain his motives, but he knew had to. He didn’t want to admit it, but he yearned to have JB’s approval. The older always seemed to be able to beat some sense into him, however, what Jinyoung really wanted was to be convinced he was right.

“Not long ago you were involved with an actor. I was rooting for you, since you looked less miserable and stopped pinning for a guy who only considered you as a friend! Then, eventually, due to some kind of miracle, you get what you want, you start dating the love of your life. Everything seems fine, even though your dear Mark used to be Jackson’s boyfriend! But you’re not satisfied yet. Now the selfish Park Jinyoung wants more! He wants to make Got7’s oldest member his idol fiancé. Oh, and don’t let me forget the icing on the cake! He ignores what his beloved might think when he learns he’ll never be introduced to his partner’s traditional Korean family as an in-law! Shit is gonna hit the fan, man. You’d better be prepared to get in conflict with your parents and risk losing what you have with Mark.” JB stated coldly, as he shook his head in frustration. In his opinion, the singer was about to make a huge mistake.

“You’re not listening to me. We’ll be careful. He’s understands the kind of commitment we ought to have. We are public figures and Korean society is still too closed-minded. His family was okay with Jackson because they are American, but mine is a conservative one. Soon he’ll realize that we can be happily engaged in secrecy and that we don’t need my family’s acceptance to take the next step.” Jinyoung retorted persuasively, but JB words planted doubts in his fertile mind.

“I’m sorry to say this, Jin, but it looks like you’re afraid to be abandoned! You still can’t believe he left Sseunah for good, and you clearly doubt his feelings for you. This desire to put a ring on his finger is not to prove how committed you are to each other! It’s like a beautiful cage you wanna lock him in! You don’t want to see him wandering around, at least not too close to Jackson’s radar. But you’re delusional if you think a piece of jewelry will chain him to you.” JB stared at him pitifully. He knew his friend too well and he couldn’t help but lament his delusional state. His dongsaeng was never fair to himself, since they were young he had a habit to accentuate the negative, to harbor a nameless reluctance to see the bright side of all kinds of situations and difficulty in trusting his own opinion. He was aware that Jinyoung was simply asking his hyung to stop him from himself.

“It was a mistake to come to you.” Jinyoung whispered, as he crossed his arms around his chest and contemplated the other’s words.

“It’s the same old story, Nyoungie. Things are going too well lately and you can’t miss a chance of sabotaging your own happiness. You can’t stand being untroubled and you’re going to drag Mark down with you. You expect little out of life for yourself and this is not healthy in a relationship. You’re obviously not marriage material.” The cruelty of JB words felt like a stab in the heart, yet, he was aware that only his friend was allowed to say those truths to his face and remain his best friend. JB was never one to tell someone what they wanted to hear, but what they needed to listen. He’d always express himself with determination, regardless of what other people might think. Jinyoung envied that.

“You’re thinking as the leader of Got7. You can’t even be happy for me. You’re only worried because I’m getting engaged to the oldest member of our group and that might affect our dynamics.” The dongsaeng argued futilely. He didn’t have much to say after his hyung’s speech, it was clear JB had won.

“Why did you even bring Jackson to your apartment while he was recovering? Don’t you think that idiotic attitude made Mark wonder what the hell was going on inside your head? Wasn’t it weird letting Jackson stay with you, considering the fact that you two had slept together once and that now you’re dating his ex?” JB’s tone became less severe, as he noticed his dongsaeng’s features change. His eyes flickered with realization.

“So, you know about me and Jackson. No big deal! It was just a drunken night, it won’t happen again. I let him stay with me because within Got7, I’m the only member who can actually look after someone properly. Why do I have the feeling you’re psychoanalyzing me?” a pensive Jinyoung frowned at him. JB rolled his eyes with impatience.

“I can see through you! You were trying to make Mark jealous! And you wanted to know if he would be jealous of you or Sseunah! You were provoking him, with those silly Wang Gae/Park Gae jokes. You tortured the guy, making him wonder what the JackJin couple was doing in an apartment all by themselves. You put his love for you to the test! You’re lucky things didn’t go downhill after your attempt to disgrace your own relationship.” JB replied, totally unaware of what really went down at Jinyoung’s apartment. For the first time the younger realized that it was a good idea to keep his mouth shut about Mark’s self-harming tendencies.

“You’ve just described me as a freakin’ masochist! I am a human being too, okay!? I’m not perfect and I make mistakes now and then, but it doesn’t mean I love to be wretched.” Jinyoung looked down ashamed. His hyung could read him as an open book. Nothing escaped his sharp observations.

“Just forget about this engagement story. It’s too soon, you are too young and you’re just not ready.” The older added wisely, as he glared at his dongsaeng.

“Why do you think Jackson chose to stay in my apartment?” Jinyoung still wondered about that.

“He didn’t tell you? Well, I called him right after the day he claimed he would stay with you. He told me through the phone he wanted to make sure Mark made his best choice. I didn’t ask him what he meant, but his answer was enough for me.” JB said nonchalantly as he shrugged his shoulders and walked to the door. The leader had said what he needed to say, now he wanted to go out and celebrate with the others their first place on SBS’s music program.

“What about you, hyung? Do you think Mark made his best choice?” Jinyoung asked before JB disappeared through the door.

“I’d like to think that.” Jaebeom replied shortly and left. The singer closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he heard the sound of the door close. Neither him, nor JB were aware of the actual choice Got7’s eldest had to make. After all, it wasn’t just a matter of who had captivated the American’s heart the most, somehow, Mark’s choice also involved letting somebody else die.
The after party was held at a famous nightclub often visited by other idols and celebrities. The DJ was relentless, the drinks kept coming to their table and four of Got7 members were already on the dance floor moving their bodies with other club-goers. Youngjae, Jinyoung and Mark watched perplexed as Jackson, JB, Bambam and Yougyeom dominated the dance floor with the craziest choreographies ever.

“How much did those kids drink?” Jinyoung commented, as he eyed from Mark to Youngjae.

“Sorry, hyung. I wasn’t really counting. Relax, I think they deserve a break from all the stress they’ve been through. The competition on music programs is really a hassle. If acting like fools is their way of taking the edge off the pressure, let it be.” Youngjae sounded tired, but he seemed to enjoy the show they were putting. His head moved along with the rhythm of the song and his hands never disconnected from his chalice of liquor.

“Don’t you wanna dance?” Mark suggested excitedly as he put his hands on his boyfriend’s. The contact of the American’s finger on his reminded him of the talk he had earlier with the leader. He wondered what would be his lover’s reaction if he finally gathered the courage to put a ring on that finger. His eyes travelled from his boyfriend’s hand to his exquisite face. Mark wasn’t drunk, just a bit tipsy. Jinyoung noticed how he slowly nursed his drink without the intention of really getting drunk. The older was pacing himself. He looked collected but his eyes shone with enthusiasm. He was often in a good mood whenever they would win a first place, he couldn’t help but be immensely proud of his group. After all, the American had come all the way from the U.S to succeed in South Korea. As Got7’s awards piled up, Mark started to realize that his journey wasn’t in vain. Jinyoung witnessed how therapy was working wonders in Mark’s treatment. He was comfortable in his own skin again, he was almost what Jackson claimed he would be again, the old Mark. The Korean hated to think that the Chinese was the one responsible for his lover’s recovery. He wished the rapper wasn’t a constant reminder of his inferiority.

“Oh, I don’t think I can keep up with them.” The singer pretended to be exhausted as he laid his head on the table. Youngjae chuckled at his action and Mark just nodded at him quietly, patting his head softly. Now and then men and women would approach their table and ask the idols to dance with them, however Mark was the most targeted by the clubgoers. His perfect make-up, dashing clothes and alluring hair style would often draw other people’s glances to their table. Some of them kept insisting on dragging him to the dance floor or giving him drinks, but he would kindly decline all their flirting. Jinyoung wished he could tattoo his name on Mark’s forehead in order to let everyone know he was taken. The singer glared at every new face that came to chat them up, he even felt tempted to break a guy’s hand when it touched Mark’s shoulder. Yet, he managed to keep himself in check. For a minute, he understood what Jackson had to go through all those years.

“Jinyoung, is that you?” a familiar voice brought the singer back from his trance. He lifted his head just to meet Kwon’s eyes. At that point, Youngjae was already trying to distract Mark, who shoot daggers at the handsome actor.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Jinyoung asked casually. Since he broke up with the man, he had tried to avoid him the best he could. Even when they were finishing filming the TV drama together, their interaction had become solely professional.

“Nothing at all. By the way, congratulation for the win! Wanna dance?” Kwon asked, ignoring the presence of the others at the table. Jinyoung noticed his boyfriend was about to say something, so he beat him to it.

“Thanks, but I haven’t finished my drink yet. Take Mark, he’s kinda bored with me.” Jinyoung didn’t know what made him say that, but he immediately regretted it. Youngjae raised his eyebrows at his statement and Mark remained speechless, trying to digest the comment. A silence threatened to fall between them if it wasn’t for the noisy return of 2 other members of Got7.

“Kwon huyng, long time no see!” a sweating JB bowed shortly and managed to sit between Mark and Youngjae. The actor nodded at him politely, still disappointed with Jinyoung’s refusal to dance. Kwon couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the other Got7 member, the Chinese one, he recognized him from Jinyoung’s photo albums. That foreign one had a powerful presence. The rapper didn’t take a sit nor regarded him, he only looked the man up and down silently.

“Are you ready for that dance, or they didn’t teach you that at drama school?” Mark’s voice was challenging. Jackson smirked at that, he liked the arrogant Mark. JB and Youngjae seemed to be having a momentary dialogue just by looking at each other’s eyes. Jinyoung held his breath in anticipation. He knew he had made a bad move, but he wasn’t about to undo it. His ex loved competition, no one would be able to stop him now.

“Lead the way.” Kwon answered, surprised by the American’s boldness. There was something different about the Mark he had met at Jinyoung’s apartment and this one in the nightclub. He didn’t seem as feeble as before, he looked self-reliant now and dangerously unruffled. The senior actor was aware of his relationship with Jinyoung, after all, he was the reason of their break up. He wondered what Jinyoung saw in the American. He wanted a solid proof of his defeat. He wanted to know what could possibly make Mark better than him in Jinyoung’s eyes. When Mark got up from his chair, Kwon could feel the Chinese’s eyes burning on him, but Jackson said noting, he only sighed and sat down on the American’s chair.

The two took over the dance floor. Kwon could notice how the American seemed to be an irresistible people magnet. He tried to perform some exaggerated dance moves to impress a few bystanders, but he wasn’t much successful at it. Everyone on the dance floor was drown to Mark, and all he had to do was wave his hands in the air and jump clumsily, like he was having the time of his life. Hungry gazes and suggestive smiles didn’t stop him from enjoying himself. He was aware of the flirt invitations, yet, he didn’t flirt back nor paid much attention to them. If his boyfriend was unable to feel jealousy, he was surely going to take advantage of it, yet, there were lines he would never allow himself to cross. He wasn’t used to so much freedom when he was with Jackson, so he assumed that maybe, the definition of a healthy relationship was to allow your partner to be socially independent, master of his own desires. The American was still working through that at therapy. He realized that Jinyoung and Jackson were totally unlike each other and the last thing he wanted was to expect the singer to have the same attitude as his ex. He didn’t want to compare the two, but somehow he missed that feeling of being controlled by someone else. He was conditioned to it, he got used to the idea of belonging to someone, even if he hated to admit it. Old habits die hard. The American had to remind himself that jealousy wasn’t the synonym of love. He was trying hard to convince himself that jealousy wasn’t healthy, and since he considered his current boyfriend the sanest person around him, Mark just ignored his growing doubts. Jinyoung loved him, he had said it a thousand times, so, he there was no reason to beat himself over it. He should be thankful that his current boyfriend wasn’t the type to succumb to the green-eyed-monster.

Another song started playing, and the crowd seemed to grow even wilder. Kwon was nowhere to be seen anymore. The actor who had followed Got7’s eldest to the dance floor had soon disappeared through the sea of people and colored lights. He had enough evidence of his pitiful vanquishment, there was no reason for him to be there anymore. With his pride hurt, Kwon concluded that the American had nothing special about him, it was just people’s eyes. As expected, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, he told himself. Before he left the club, he stole a glance to his ex’s table and wished he was the one being attentively watched by Jinyoung.
Mark felt sweat dampen his shirt as adrenaline fueled his lungs. He liked to share the energy vibrating through all those people, it was a new sensation. For more than 4 years he wasn’t able to let loose like that. Jackson’s arms didn’t let him stray too far from his reach. He was held captive for too long and he was grateful to Jinyoung for showing him that it was not a sin to enjoy the simplest joys of life. He hardly knew that his boyfriend was actually fighting an internal battle as he eyed people throwing themselves at Mark. Some drunk guy even tried to steal a kiss from the American, but he just turned around and walked away. Noticing the danger, the maknaes came to his rescue. Within a second Bambam and Yougyeom were able to find him surrounded by a crowd of strangers who pretty much fought to get a piece of their hyung. People were grinding on him in such a sexual way that the duo couldn’t help but drag their member away from those wandering hands and almost dry-humpings.

“I think it’s time to take Mark home, Jinyoung hyung.” Yougyeom suggested as he held one of Mark’s hands protectively. He acted like a child trying to guard his mom. The American smiled at his behavior, his dongsaeng now and then treated him like a younger brother. He immediately noticed that Youngjae and JB had left and there were only Jackson and Jinyoung at the table now.

“Well, he has his own apartment and he’s not even drunk. We all have work tomorrow, we all need our sacred rest. He can take a cab, can’t you, Mark?” Jinyoung replied his dongsaeng as he turned his attention from him to Mark. The American swallowed hard those words. His boyfriend’s voice was cold and suddenly he felt lost. Didn’t Jinyoung see that guy trying to kiss him? Wasn’t he bothered by all that grinding? Why was he even rejecting the idea of taking him home?

“We’ll take him. Let’s go, YG!” Bambam interfered, as he nodded at Jackson and waved at Jinyoung. The Thai young man hurriedly led the other two out. The pair of Got7 members remained in their seats while they watched the trio leaving the club.

“You’re being a dick, you know.” Jackson commented a he sipped his vodka.

“Stay out of it.” The singer warned, as he stared at him firmly.

“The second that your fucking ex came over the table, you should’ve sent him away and not offered him your new boyfriend! What’s wrong with you?! Sometimes I regret handing him over to you.” Jackson didn’t want to sound too possessive, but alcohol made him more honest than he expected.

“You didn’t hand me anything! He’s not a thing, he was not yours to give in the first place!” Jinyoung was about to explode. He was glad the music was loud and no one could notice the edge on his voice.

“If he was mine, I wouldn’t let him go out there alone! What the fuck, man, didn’t you see what was happening on that dance floor, or are you blind? I had to restrain myself from going out there. But you are the boyfriend now, you should at least try to act like one!”

“I am not you.” He seethed, throwing his arms in the air.

“Of course you are not, you don’t have the guts! To be honest, I’m not sure anymore if you’re the best choice out there for him! How can you let him go home by himself!? Now, if I were Mark, I would shag the first person I saw on the street! Why? Because my damn boyfriend is playing hard to get! Oh, no scratch that, he needs to wake up early tomorrow.” Jackson kept pushing as he made a hilarious face.

“Enough! Our relationship is none of your business. You’re trying to manipulate me, you asshole! But I won’t play your game, Wang, I won’t! Stay out of our lives!” Jinyoung shouted now, as he hurriedly left some bills on the table and stomped out of the bar. He had to go to Mark’s apartment and make sure he got there safely. He felt like an idiot for the way he treated his boyfriend, he wanted to apologize, comfort him and make love to him. Once more Park Jinyoung was trapped by his own insecurities. He was trying so hard not to be Jackson that he was forgetting to be himself. He thought that the last thing Mark needed now was a jealous, possessive boyfriend, but he also needed to remind himself that he could show his appreciation for him without being crude as the Chinese used to be. He wondered suddenly if his attitude might have triggered something in the American. What if his boyfriend started cutting again? What if he attempted suicide? He needed to check on him ASAP.

He rang the doorbell continuously. He drove so fast to the American’s apartment that he didn’t even bother to stop on the red lights. When the door opened, a disheveled Mark greeted him. He was in his pajamas and he looked like he had been sleeping for a while. He immediately came in, closed the door and embraced his boyfriend, relieved to see he was all right.

“I thought you would stay a little bit more with Jacks at the club.” The American commented as he nuzzled the other’s neck. He found sexy the way his perfume mixed with the alcohol he had drank earlier.

“I’d rather stay here with you.” Jinyoung kissed his neck, his cheeks, his forehead and stared at him dreamingly. He had underestimated his lover resilience, he was ecstatic to find him in one piece. He thanked all Gods for Mark’s therapist. Those sessions indeed were paying off.

“Or maybe you wanted to get rid of me while you and Kwon could catch up on old times.” Mark unconsciously let that sentence slip as he pouted. Jinyoung frowned in disbelief, taking a step back to examine the look on his face better.

“Do you happen to be jealous or am I imagining things?” the singer asked amused.

“I don’t know, but I was having a hard time tonight trying to keep Jackson, Kwon and that whole club away from you. I saw how people were looking at you and I couldn’t do anything about that. Why do you think I decided to dance with your ex? To fucking distract him! To be honest, I was hoping Jackson would get up from that table and drag me away from that dance floor, he used to do that a lot when I’d start to have some real fun. I just wished they would all leave you alone. Yet, you decided to stay there with him.” Mark confessed at last, as his boyfriend wore an unreadable expression on his face. Jinyoung gave him a peck on the lips and glued their foreheads together. He finally realized Mark had the same worries as him and he didn’t want his partner to have to go through that same kind of struggle.

“We have a lot in common, you know? Nevertheless, I don’t want you to ever worry about other people. You’re the one I’ll always come home to. You’re the love of my life. No one else comes close, never forget that.” the younger’s eye smile and whiskers were adorably visible now. He felt Mark relax with his touch and put a hand on his waist. The American’s fingers burned on his skin.

“Don’t you feel jealous too?” Mark asked with curiosity, as he massaged his lover’s scalp.

“If you only knew.” Jinyoung smiled a bit as he touched his lover’s chest. Mark wanted to hear more, he wanted to understand his dongsaeng’s behavior at the club, but he wouldn’t push him.

“I wish I could mark you with a branding iron. It would say ‘Tuan’s property, for his eyes only’. Can you imagine were I’d brand you?” Mark whispered sensuously in Jinyoung’s earlobe as he bit and licked the sensitive skin. His hands travelled from his lover’s buttocks to the front of his pants. The singer groaned at that. In a swiftly movement he lifted the American up and carried him to the bedroom.

“You can brand me whenever and wherever you want.” Jinyoung said, as he laid Mark on the bed and sat on his obvious clothed erection. Within seconds, he got rid of his shirt and pants. He only kept his boxers on as he rubbed his ass against Mark’s hard on. Mark started to undress himself too, but he was only able to unbutton his top, when Jinyoung stopped his hands. The American looked up confused.

“What is it?”

“Let’s get engaged.” The singer said without thinking. To hell with JB’s warnings, his only desire was to assure his lover of his undying affection and commitment. The other blinked twice as he forgot to breathe for a second. He sighed and looked into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Are you joking? That’s not slightly funny, you know.” Mark said as he looked at him reprovingly. His hands rested on the bed as he waited for Jinyoung’s answer.

“I love you and I wanna marry you someday. For now, I’d like you to be my fiancé.” Jinyoung reached for his discarded pants that were on the end of the bed and took a small box out of its pocket. Mark’s eyes observed him with bewilderment, speechless as he was, he didn’t know how to react when the little container was opened and the engagement ring shone before him.

“Park Jinyoung, this is going too far. Stop playing around. I’m serious.” Mark managed to say between sobs. His mind still couldn’t believe it, but his body was already reacting to the proposal. Jinyoung took that as a positive sign. His beloved was so touched by his gesture that it brought him to tears. The singer then lifted Mark’s hand and without ceremony, he did what he wanted long ago. He proudly slid the ring on his lover’s delicate finger. He beamed at the sight, the jewel matched that hand perfectly, Mark was his forever.

“Get that thing off me. I cannot get engaged to you.” Mark’s cold tone brought him back to reality.Jinyoung’s world shattered, as he felt his own eyes water and his lips tremble.

Chapter Text

A disappointed Jinyoung sat on Mark’s bed only in his boxers. In his left hand, he held a rejected ring that weighted nothing, but carried a tremendous meaning. His right hand covered his face as he hung his head down. He had already dried his tears, but his heart had never suffered such an injury, not even when Mark had started dating Jackson. He didn’t want JB to be so wise, he wished he had listened to him, but the damage was done. His boyfriend was crouched on the floor, next to the bedroom door with his pajamas top still unbuttoned and an upset look on his face. He wasn’t crying either, but his silence was deafening.

“Are you gonna tell me why, at least?” Jinyoung managed to ask without looking at him.

“It’s silly. Why start something we cannot finish?” Mark murmured sadly, gazing at the floor.

“You say that because of our careers? My family and Koreans intolerance towards the LGBT community?” Jinyoung just named some of JB’s concerns he carelessly ignored before.

“The issue is me, Jinyoung. The Mark you think you know, but you have no idea who he really is. There’s so much you don’t know about me, things I’ve been hiding from you…Facts that once you hear about, may force you to change your opinion about me. I’m not marriage material.” The coincidence in that last sentence almost made him laugh. If he wasn’t so heartbroken he probably would. The American’s words made the other sigh exasperated. He stared at his boyfriend knowingly. He thought he knew what the other meant.

“I was told that before, you know, that I’m too screwed up to take such a huge step. Still, I followed my heart. Whatever it is that you’re keeping from me, just tell me and we can work things out. Nothing will stop me from loving you at this point. Trust me, you can confide in me your darkest secrets and none of them will make me love you less. I promise you that.” The singer wanted his lover to reveal everything about his second attempt, the therapy, his suspicious fight with Jackson in Macau, he was ready to accept everything.

Jinyoung left the ring on the bed and crawled to where Mark was. He quietly took his hands in his and eyed him fondly. Mark accepted his touch, but his expression still looked troubled. His dongsaeng could tell how hard it was for Mark to talk about the subject that haunted his mind. Nevertheless, Jinyoung was often wrong about his boyfriend’s motives and purposes. The tale his boyfriend was about to tell wasn’t the one he expected hear.

“I tried to hang myself when I was in middle school. I was constantly bullied, and it would drive me crazy every time it happened. There was also this P.E. teacher who would always save me from bullies, but on several occasions tried to make a pass at me in the locker room. I truly wanted to end my life back then. I used to cut myself and do all kinds of drugs when I was younger. My parents had me committed once. By the time I finished high school, everyone thought that bad phase was over.” Mark paused to bit his lip, but his boyfriend held his hands tightly, encouraging him to continue his sorrowful story. Jinyoung hadn’t seen that coming. He felt terribly sorry for the American, it pained him to know his partner had gone through so much ordeals, but he needed to know everything. He promised himself he would be strong for Mark.

“Go on, I’m listening. What happened to the bullies and the perverted teacher?” The singer asked softly. Mark looked away as he felt shame and anger at the same time.

“I don’t know, and I don’t care. My parents sent me to another school. They guessed about the bullying but I’ve never told them how many times that teacher kept asking me for sexual favors.” Mark sighed deeply as he closed his eyes.

“Did, he do anything to you? Did he touch you?!” Jinyoung sounded alarmed. He couldn’t bear the idea of someone forcing himself on him.

“I never let him. I always managed to escape somehow. I know I was a coward and I should’ve told someone. I’m aware that my pathetic silence might’ve put another student in the same danger I was in after I left. Yet, I let that dirty old man get away with it. I was weak, selfish and irresponsible. At some point, when I moved to Korea, I thought I could just forget all of it, put that shit behind me. For more than five years, I could live with that, but those feelings of being persecuted, harassed and unsafe, they all returned with the appearance of letter2u. You see, I’m not good enough for you Jinyoungie, I’m damaged goods.” Mark confessed and finally looked his boyfriend in the eye.

“You can’t blame yourself for running away from your past. Most people who go through such experiences are left with some kind of trauma. You don’t have to torture yourself over this. It happened years ago. Those actions don’t define who you are now. You are a survivor, Mark, and that makes me love you even more. You’re the strongest person I know. There’s nothing in you that I’d change. You’ll always be perfect in my eyes.” Jinyoung soothing words made his anguished expression soften a bit.

“I’m resuming my therapy. Jackson just started it too. I think we are both benefiting from it. Our relationship didn’t end very well, so, we both felt it was necessary since we work together.” Mark added that new information and waited for his boyfriend reaction. Jinyoung didn’t mind about the white lie, he was aware that the Chinese had to blackmail the American in order to get him the help he needed. But he wasn’t about to confront his lover because of it.

“I’m totally cool with it. You guys have all my support.” Jinyoung said with a reassuring smile. But he still wanted to know about what happened in his apartment when he left him alone with Jackson. He wanted to hear about the broken glass and the blood on the rapper’s shirt.

“I’m impressed by your pliancy. You’re immune to jealousy. I mean, he’s my ex, and I used to love him very much. And now were learning to become friends again. If I were in your shoes, I’d never let it happen.” Mark frowned at him quizzically. The younger shook his head in denial. He remembered Jackson’s attitude at the club earlier and he could tell the Chinese was still having a hard time to consider Mark a mere friend. He had never heard about a case of someone getting over another by taking therapy sessions together. Of course he was jealous!

“Come on, Mark. The only reason I brought him to my apartment when he left the hospital was to keep him from choosing yours. I have my insecurities too, but I don’t want to scare you off with them.” Jinyoung revealed shyly as he sat closer to Mark.

“That will never happen. But you could’ve told me that earlier, you know, before I thought you guys were enjoying that Wang Gae Park Gae thing too much. You should tell me more about the stuff that makes you insecure, whatever it is, I’m always ready to listen.” Mark’s voice sounded lighter as he turned his head to his lover just to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Is there more? Do you want to share anything else with me?” Jinyoung insisted as he caressed his boyfriend’s face lovingly.

“I freaked Jackson out once when I cut myself in your kitchen. I swear I didn’t mean to kill myself or anything, I just let him get to me and the situation grew out of hand. I broke a glass and I wanted to scare him off. I threatened him out of fear, and hurting myself was a response to that fear. I know that now, and I’m learning to deal with it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before, I was afraid of what you might do.” Mark let more secrets pour out of his mouth as he felt confidence build inside him. His boyfriend nodded to him understandingly, showing that he was okay with it. Jinyoung was almost satisfied with his display of trust and honesty.

“Why were you afraid of him in my kitchen, or even at that time in the company’s bathroom? You were practically asking me to protect you from him in that occasion. Does it have to do with whatever happened in Macau?” Jinyoung felt Mark’s body tense beside him.

“I think I said a lot for today. And you should go home and rest. We have to wake up tomorrow pretty early.” The American reminded him as he stood up and buttoned his top. His demeanor changed as he assumed a defensive posture and stepped away from his dongsaeng.

“You still avoid the subject. After everything you’ve told me, you still keep this to yourself! I can’t believe this, Mark!” Jinyoung got up too a bit upset and started putting on his clothes.

“Some things are better left unsaid.” The American replied shortly as he watched the other grow even more displeased with his comment.

“There’s no reason for it. You’ve seen how I’m supportive of every decision you make and I’m not judgmental. You just have to trust me, damn it!” Jinyoung’s patience was starting to run out.

“You see, that’s why we cannot get engaged to each other. This would never work out. You expect too much from me, and I’m obviously incapable of fulfilling your expectations. I’m just not that guy, I don’t think I’ll ever be.” Mark insisted, still unable to tell his lover about the rape in Macau. He knew that once he told him about it, Jackson would be done for and Got7 would never recover from that blow.

“Yes! Maybe you are not, perhaps you’ll never be. And if you don’t think this relationship is going to last in the long run, we should just stop seeing each other right now.” Jinyoung yelled, unable to control his irritation. He knew he was being harsh with the older, but he was tired of all that secrecy. All he could think was that his boyfriend didn’t love him enough to tell him the truth. And above all, he hated to know that Jackson knew something about his boyfriend that he himself would never be aware of.

“First you talk about engagement and minutes later you mention a break up?! That’s not fair! You can’t be serious Jinyoung!” Mark accused as he choke up. He grabbed the younger’s arm as he tried to leave the room, but the singer pushed him away.

“Call me when you decide to be truly honest with me. Until then, keep your distance!” Jinyoung said irrationally as he got to the front door, stole a last accusingly glance at the other and closed the door behind him. Mark wanted to cry, run after him and beg him to stay, but that wouldn’t change his boyfriend’s mind. Jinyoung was stubborn and he wouldn’t rest until he found out the truth. He just wished his Chinese friend kept his mouth shut and never gave the singer the answers he was looking for. The American just hoped Jinyoung would be more understanding tomorrow at practice. Maybe things could still be fixed between them. After pondering what to do next, he texted Jackson and then went to bed to try to get some sleep. Hardly he knew that Jinyoung’s obsession with the truth would drive him to knock at Jackson’s door at that same night.

“Do you fucking know what time it is? Jackson glared at him dressed in a bathrobe. He regretted letting the singer in his apartment but he know that if he didn’t, the actor would make a scene outside his door and wake up all his neighbors.

“Tell me now about Macau! I won’t leave here until you tell me what happened.” Jinyoung yelled as he crossed his arms around himself, waiting for a reply. The Chinese sighed as he looked at the singer. He had read Mark’s text and he was prepared for that talk, but not now, since he had a guest in his bed waiting for him to resume that eventful night.

“I seriously recommend you to find a therapist, man. You could be home, spending a nice time with your boyfriend but you come here to pester me around. Do I have to call JB to bring you a straightjacket? Or you’ll leave willingly?” Jackson said nonchalantly as he ignored Jinyoung’s exasperate look.

“YOU, you Jackson Wang! Your existence is the root of all our problems. I’m sure he’d have accepted my engagement ring if he wasn’t so afraid of being in a serious relationship again! You screwed him up! He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy with someone. He’s a mess and you made him like that!” Jinyoung spat and he was sure he had hit a nerve. Although he knew Mark’s problems were beyond his past relationship with Jackson, and ran deeper than a complicated break up, he wanted the rapper to feel guilty somehow. He believed Jackson was to blame for his own misery at least. He noticed how his hyung almost flinched at that accusation, but pretended to be unaffected.

“Engagement? And he rejected you?” Jackson seemed surprised.

“After whatever you’ve done to him, he’s unable to trust me completely.”

“Did he say that?” Jackson was suddenly curious.

“I wish I had met him first.” Jinyoung thought out loud, ignoring the other’s question.

“Maybe that would be fitting enough for you both. Maybe he wouldn’t hate me so much to the point of wishing me dead.” Jackson tried to change the topic of that conversation. He needed to get rid of the singer, and shut him up about Macau.

“He’s not like that, no matter what happened between you too, I can assure you he doesn’t want you dead. What makes you say that anyway?” The singer stared at him quizzically.

“Well, when letter2u told him to choose between you and me, I was the one who ended up poisoned at that FanMeeting.” Jackson knew that information would distract him and certainly make the singer think twice before doubting Mark’s love for him. He didn’t like that engagement story and he honestly wasn’t ready to hear about it yet. He just wanted the singer out of his apartment.

“What did you say?!” the younger’s eyes matched his perplexed expression.

“Exactly what you heard. The anonymous sasaeng is still out there making random demands. Mark wanted me to keep quiet about it to protect you, but I feel that it’s about time you know. You must understand he wasn’t aware of what that psycho was planning, but he still chose you. And he would have done it again if he had to.” Jackson carefully revealed another truth and hoped that it was enough for his dongsaeng. But before the younger could ask anything else, a person came out of the Chinese’s room. It was a young man, dressed only in an oversized jumper. His make-up was messed up, but he looked handsome. His hairstyle looked like a previous one that Mark had not long ago. Even his pierced ears were adorned with similar earrings. When Jinyoung glanced at his fingers, he could swear he recognized his boyfriend’s rings on them. The man was like a cosplayer of Got7’s Mark. The cross around his neck, the contact lenses, even the perfume were just the same. Jinyoung wondered if Jackson had found him at the club, brought him home and transformed him into a copy of his ex. That whole situation was too sad and Jinyoung couldn’t help but immediately feel sorry for him. Desperation had found a shelter in his friend. He wondered if someday he would end up like that too. Chasing Mark’s ghost, looking for useless replacements. And what a strange connection those two foreigners had! The same way Jackson had gravely affected the American’s life, Mark had also seared his own image in the Chinese’s mind. Jinyoung’s thoughts were interrupted by the antics of the young man who backhugged Jackson and slid his hand under his bathrobe.

The scene made the singer blush and look away. The man giggled suggestively as he eyed Jinyoung up and down.

“Look who we have here, isn’t that Park Jinyoung!? Glad to make your acquaintance.” The stranger said, without removing his hands from the rapper, who, on the other hand didn’t seem even a bit bothered by the other’s touch.

“Oh, you recognized me. Nice to meet you. And you are?” Jinyoung sounded polite as he extended a hand to the man. However, Jackson immediately pulled his hands away, threw the man on the couch abruptly and escorted Jinyoung to the door.

“Now that you know that I’m obviously busy you could do me the favor of giving us some privacy?!” Jackson insisted as he opened the door and roughly pushed him out of his apartment.

“Who’s he?” the singer asked out of curiosity as he stood outside his door.

“He has no name Jinyoung, because whores don’t have names. You got it? Now before you get scarred for life, go home to your boyfriend and leave me the fuck alone, for fuck’s sake. I still plan to get laid. I’ve heard he’s worth every penny and I want to put him to the test. If you want to borrow him later, I can lend him to you without a problem. Oh wait, you have the original version of that model in your own bed right now, so you won’t need a cheap clone to pleasure you. This twin of his can’t even hold a candle to Yien. By the way, you should hurry, since Mark might be waiting for you. Now you’ve gotta go, or I’ll really get mad at you!” Jackson’s words were crude, but he was never one to measure his words.

“The Jackson I know never had to pay for sex before.”

“I still don’t. But it’s not easy to find one looking exactly like that, you know?” Jackson’s tone became dark.

“I noticed the similarities. Are those really Mark’s accessories? They’re identical.” His tone was sympathetic.

“He’d often leave some of his stuff here, but after the breakup he didn’t even bother to collect them. So I kept them. Please don’t tell the others about this, they wouldn’t understand.” Jackson added as he looked to the floor. Jinyoung wanted to say something to comfort his friend, but how can you console the man whose ex you are dating?

“Good night, Sseunah.” Jinyoung said and walked away from his door.

“Good night, Jinyoung-ah!” the other replied without much energy and closed his door.

The next day practice was tiring as usual, especially for 3 of Got7 members, who seemed even more worn down than all the others. The trio MarkJinSon seemed unusually drained. Jinyoung had already regretted his outburst of yesterday, so he just waited for the right moment to ask the American’s apology. On the other hand, Mark feared the idea of a break up. He was happy with the singer and he didn’t want him to leave him because of a secret, that if reveled, could destroy them all. Jackson’s still couldn’t believe he had heard the word engagement come out of his dongsaeng’s mouth. He had to admit that one thing was to tolerate Markjin dating status, but the fiancé status was another level of commitment, one he wasn’t really ready to see it happen. JB announced a break as he locked the door of the practice room and made the group sit on the wood floor forming a circle next to the mirrors on the wall. The six members of the group had no idea of what he planned to do, but as always, they obediently followed his commands. Before he joined the circle and sat beside his comrades, he took a bottle from his bag and finally took his place beside Youngjae.

“Our tour starts within a week. I congratulate you all for being here on time for practice, but I cannot take the silly mistakes you guys are making anymore. A week ago every movement of all choreographies was on point, but now you look like rookies who have just debuted. As the leader of this group, I propose an icebreaker activity. It’s obvious the air of uncomfortableness of some members here. I’m not going to name them, but I want them to know, that I’m expecting their full participation on this social exercise. No one is allowed to withdraw.” Jaebeom stated firmly, his tone made the younger’s members blood run cold.

“I feel like I’m in 5th grade again.” Youngjae commented as he sighed in frustration.

“Let’s get on with it, them. What do you suggest, almighty leader? Jackson asked in a mocking tone. Yougyeom raised an eyebrow at his boldness, Bambam didn’t make any effort to suppress the chuckle that emanated from him.

“You all have to agree with me first.” JB replied strangely calm, but ready to get pissed at anyone who dared to contradict him.

“Come on JB, it’s not like we have a choice and you know it! Just tell us what you have in mind.” Jinyoung commented impatiently. He hadn’t told his friend about the engagement ring fiasco, but could already picture his hyung’s reaction and his ‘hate to say I told you so’ attitude.

“We all agree with your Highness demands.” Mark finally announced and JB smirked at that. The oldest had just said what he wanted to hear.

“I’m sure you have heard about it before and probably even played it on other occasions. It’s called ‘Truth or Dare’. In this game there’ll be no limits for the dares, but we shall avoid anything illegal or life-threatening. We’ll play it for one hour and a half.” Jaebeom smiled proudly as he watched the confusion on everyone’s face.

“Are you for real? I mean, this game could possibly make things worse, hyung.” Bambam voiced everyone’s concerns in a single sentence.

“A little bit of truth can’t hurt anyone. It was said before, ‘the truth will set you free.’” Jinyoung said bluntly, yet, deep down he agreed with Bambam somehow. He could feel Mark’s eyes burning on him. It was clear his choice of words goaded him.

“The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.” Jackson quoted, surprising every one in the room. Mark smiled at his ex’s quick-witted response, the others were agape.

“Didn’t know you could read.” Yougyeom joked, making almost all of them laugh. Jinyoung didn’t find that funny.

“I have my moments, kid.” The rapper laughed like a hyena as he met Mark’s eyes. They communicated briefly without saying nothing. JB noticed how Jinyoung was barely able to cope with that silent interaction, so he decided to start the game as soon as possible.

“We’ll see how that sagacity works out for you now, Wang. I give you the honor to start spinning this bottle.” The leader challenged the rapper as he blinked at him. The whole room laughed again, except Jinyoung. The Chinese took the bottle form JB’s hand and made it spin in the center of the circle. The manknaes looked anxious and excited, but the hyungs were a bit more serious now. The bottle landed on Bambam, who smiled brightly at his hyung.

“Truth or dare, Bammie?” Jackson said in a cooing voice. Everyone cracked up, even Jinyoung tried to contain his own smile.

“Truth, man! Dares will get things more exciting at the end.” He smirked at Mark, who eyed him confused.

“Name your favorite hyungs, from the best to the worst.” The Chinese looked a t him expectantly.

“Jackson Wang, Mark Tuan, Lim Jaebeom, Park Jinyoung.” He said confidently, ignoring a few scoffs from the others. Jack gave him a high five and it was time for the Thai boy to have his turn. When he spun the bottle, it landed on Youngjae, who looked extremely worried now.

“Truth or dare, hyung?”

“Dare.” The other said without thinking. He figured out the maknaes would probably ask questions about his relationship with JB after the confession, but he wasn’t ready to answer any of that now.

“I dare you to kiss JB, I mean, tongue him.” Bambam said nonchalantly. Jackson eyed him reprovingly, Mark gasped but said nothing and Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at the leader, who seemed totally lost. A terrified Youngjae blushed furiously, as he stared at his own hands nervously.

“Well, you didn’t say that anything sexual would be off-limits.” Yougyeom stated as he eyed the leader with impatience. The leader should know that the younger members secretly planned his doom without even considering the consequences of their act.

“I’m okay with it, if hyung is.” Youngjae finally spoke, surprising the whole room. Three members cheered this time, Bambam, Youngjae, and Jackson. Mark still thought that wasn’t a good idea. However, in a swiftly movement JB positioned himself in front of Youngjae and gazed at him with kindness.

Chapter Text

“It’s just a game, Jae, don’t look so mortified. But it’s your dare, you’re supposed to make the first move.” The leader said as he leaned in a bit. He looked at his dongsaeng’s eyes and brought one of his fingers to his lips. They were soft and slightly wet. Suddenly that mission didn’t seem too difficult to fulfill. Not even the voice of the American kept him from going for it.

“JB, don’t. It might change everything.” Mark finally said something, catching Youngjae’s attention. But soon the younger was distracted by his hyung’s lips on him. The kiss was slowly and innocent at first, yet, soon JB’s tongue invaded Youngjae’s and the younger couldn’t help but moan into the kiss. The room was filled with giggles. It was Jinyoung who pulled the leader back and separated the two.

“I think he had enough, Jaebeom-ah.” The Mom of Got7 knew how to control the situation. Everyone noticed how Youngjae’s breath seemed to quicken, but only the singer bothered to save him from more embarrassment. JB was really into the kiss and he seemed a bit reluctant when he was forced to let go of his cute dongsaeng.

“What a prude! Things were starting to heat up.” Jackson smirked as he blinked at Jinyoung. The singer gave him a look of despise, but soon looked away.

“Well, no one can say I’m not man enough to kiss another guy.” JB said victoriously as he smiled a bit awkwardly. Youngjae hid his blush behind his bangs and tried not to think of the sensation of the leader’s lips on him. Mark eyed him with concern but the game had to go on. When JB saw that the bottle he spun landed on Jinyoung he eyed him with satisfaction. He was about to make his dongsaeng open his insecure heart to Mark, but for his dismay, Jinyoung chose dare.

“I dare you to give Mark a lap dance.” JB’s revenge was sweet, no words needed to be said, but Jinyoung was clearly scandalized. He didn’t have a problem to sit on his boyfriend lap and grind at him, but with a crowd surrounding them, that was beyond embarrassing.

“Well, it’s not like we haven’t done it before.” Mark eyed him with passion as he said it. The others made exaggerated funny noises. The singer almost forgot to breathe and for a second all he could see, hear and smell was Mark. He was eager to touch him, and when he reached for his thighs, the American couldn’t help but lick his lips in anticipation. He closed his eyes tightly, as he struggled to keep his hands away from Jinyoung. All his members were watching and he wasn’t about to allow himself to have a hard on in front of them. But the way Jinyoung’s hips moved, the way his ass rubbed on his crotch made him delirious. The singer smiled at him sensuously and to end his performance he whispered a trembling ‘I love you’ in his ear. Mark immediately opened his eyes and smiled with satisfaction as he realized he was forgiven. When Jinyoung returned to the circle everyone had knowing looks on their faces, those kind of looks everybody has when they are being third wheels.

“There’s nothing like true love.” Youngjae commented admired by the scene that just developed before them. Jackson gasped at that, but said nothing. Finally, the bottle moved again and Yougyoem was chosen. The innocent maknae went for a dare and almost fainted when Jinyoung told him to do ageyo to JB and give him a peck on his cheek. Reluctant and stubborn as a child the dancing machine of Got7 performed his dare successfully. Afterwards, the bottle decided that Mark was next.

“I choose truth.” The American said as he glared at Yougyeom, warning him to be reasonable. But that was too much to ask from his dongsaeng.

“Tell us where you went with Jackson during the Jus2 tour in Macau.” Yougyeom said simply, as Mark’s eyes lost focus. Terror threatened to take over him.

“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. No one is forcing you to. We can end this stupid game now.” Jinyoung interfered as he noticed Mark’s hand tremble.

“I say when it’s time to end the game.” JB said authoritative.

“Well, I’m really looking forward to his answer. I don’t think it’s anybody’s business, but I understand his reticence regarding the delicate subject, since it wasn’t a place of good reputation. ” Jackson said, making everyone even more curious. Deep down he wanted to get that out of his chest. He wanted his colleagues to know what he did. Even if he felt miserable at first, he really wanted to redeem himself. That secret were like tons of bricks on his shoulders.

“Jackson hyung, it’ his truth, not yours!” Yougyeom reminded him quickly.

“Mark, it’s just a place, no one is asking you to confess a crime.” Bambam commented as he rolled his eyes at him.

“We went to a brothel.” Mark said at once and spun the bottle as he avoided the perplexed looks of the others. He couldn’t look at Jinyoung’s eyes now. He didn’t want to see disappointment in them. The bottle landed on Bambam this time and since he chose dare, Mark told him to dance to a random song of a female Kpop group. He knew everyone would laugh and forget about his answer. It worked for a while, everybody was laughing out loud at the Thai boy’s fabulous performance, but when Bambam spun the bottle everyone became silent again. It landed on Jackson, and if he chose truth, everyone would be curious to know about what the Markson coulple did at that brothel in Macau. The rapper was an open book,, but he wouldn’t break his promise now. The Chinese looked at Mark briefly and for everyone’s disappointment he chose dare. Yet, Bambam wouldn’t miss a chance to spice things up.

“I dare you to find the one you consider the hottest guy in this room and give him a hickey.” Bambam said excitedly before he high-fived Yougyeom.

“This is off-limits, no injuries, remember?” JB reprimanded him. He didn’t like that idea. Jackson was unpredictable and he had no restraint in this kind of situation.

“It’s not a life-threatening dare, chill out, hyung! Follow your own rules, okay!? He just have to do it in a place that no one will see.” Yougyeom argued.

“Let’s vote then. This is still a democracy, right?” Youngjae suggested. JB eyed him quizzically.

“I can’t believe you! Are you joining their lunacy?” Jinyoung asked exasperated.

“It’s been 45 minutes, I think we should end this now.” Mark said as everyone turned to him.

“I remember you said we all agreed to go through with it, hyung.” JB remarked making the American flinch.

“Hey guys, I am a professional okay?! Don’t get your panties in a twist. It’s not like I’m gonna eat someone alive in this room. Let me fulfill my mission.” Jackson defended himself as the others returned to their positions in the circle and Mark waited for the worst. He sighed deeply when he realized Jackson crawled in his direction. He looked at Jinyoung and he saw how he turned his gaze away. He could already smell the intoxicating Chinese’s cologne. He was about to say ‘stop’, when he noticed how the rapper moved to his left side and pulled Youngjae to him. The dongsaeng gasped in surprise as his hyung started unbuttoning his shirt. No one expected that choice. Jinyoung was clearly relieved, but still worried for the younger. Bambam and Yougyeom looked bored, since the Markson moment didn’t take place. Jaebeom was seething, wondering if Jackson had lost his mind. When he heard Youngjae’s timid and uncomfortable tone as he asked what the Chinese was doing, he almost lost his composure.

“It’s okay, Jae, just relax. You never show your nipples to our fans. No one will know. But I won’t lie to you, since this is clearly your first time, this may hurt a little bit. A hickey is supposed to last for days, the ones I give last for weeks. Ask Mark if you don’t believe me.” Jackson licked his lips maliciously as he finished the last buttons of his shirt. He eyed Mark wildly as he run his hands through Youngjae’s virginal chest. The American wanted to stop the rapper, but he didn’t move. He knew that wasn’t right, but he felt impotent, unable to take action. He didn’t want Youngjae to be used as he was used before. Flashes of Macau ran through his mind as he started feeling nauseated. The rapper’s eyes rendered him immobile. When the Chinese lowered his head to one of Youngjae’s nipples, someone came from behind and roughly pulled him away from the frightened dongsaeng.

“The fucking game is over. Keep your filthy hands away from him.” JB roared as he towered over Jackson who was now sprawled on the floor laughing like a madman. The leader kneeled in front of a shivering Youngjae and buttoned his shirt quickly. When he was done, he helped the donsaeng up, grabbed his hand, unlocked the door and left the room with him.

“What the hell has just happened?” Bambam was the first to talk as soon as the pair left the room. Yougyeom looked amused, but didn’t have an answer for that. The scene they had just witnessed looked like one out of a drama. Jaebeom looked like one of those jealous Oppas who would grab his beloved by her wrist and save her from a vicious bad guy.

“2Jae happened.” Jackson smirked knowingly. Jinyoung was still flabbergasted, but the rapper’s comment caught his attention.

“Did you plan that?” the singer asked a bit doubtful.

“No, Jinyoung. I thought of making a mess of your boyfriend right there, but I changed my mind at the last minute and decided to ravish Youngjae instead. That idiot leader of ours won’t take long to realize his own feelings.” The rapper laid on the wood floor as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

“You’re an asshole.” Mark said quietly as he shook his head in disbelief and stood up.

“I love you too, Yien.” Jackson lifted his head a bit to look at him. At first, he intended to joke about it, but his tone was serious. Mark immediately turned to him again, with an unreadable look in his eyes. Jinyoung frowned at that and walked up to his boyfriend.

“Should we get going? I need to talk to you.” The singer’s eyes pleaded with him.

“Sure. I thought you would never ask.” The older smiled as he held his boyfriend’s hand and followed him out of the room.

“How can you do it? How can you bear to see them like that?” Bambam asked as Jackson sighed in frustration.

“I don’t have a choice, Bammie.” The rapper answered him simply as he stared at the ceiling.

“Mark hyung looks happier now, Jinyoung treats him better in my opinion.” Yougyeom stated mercilessly, as he looked at the mirror and practiced some dance moves. His huyng looked hurt for a minute, but soon his energy returned.

“You sound like a Markjin shipper, kid. You break my heart.” Jackson pointed out as he also got up from the floor and followed his maknae moves. Soon Bambam joined them and the three practiced Got7’s choreographies for hours.

Meanwhile, Jinyoung and Mark sat at a table in the company's canteen. The American appreciated his company, but he was still bothered by the possible break up mentioned by his boyfriend yesterday.

“First of all, I’d like to ask your forgiveness for my behavior last night. I wasn’t thinking straight and jealousy drove me to act unreasonably. You made that whole nightclub fall for you without even realizing it and that made me hysterical. You are so magnetic and all the time I feel like I don’t deserve you, so I keep asking myself if I’m good enough for someone like you. There’s also your ex, who is still clearly hung up on you and I can’t even blame him for it! Once a guy falls for Mark Tuan, there’s no coming back! I can’t bear the fact that Jackson knows you better than I do, or that you two keep secrets from me. I wonder if there will be a day that I won’t feel insecure when I see you around him. I know that’s not an excuse for the way I walked out on you. I shouldn’t have put your back against the wall the way I did, I am aware of that know. My behavior was uncalled for. You bravely told me things you have never told your own parents, you trusted me enough to open yourself to me and I treated you like crap. The engagement ring was just one of my ludicrous ideas to permanently bind you to me, it was completely absurd! Please give me a second chance.” Jinyoung took a deep breath as he finished his monologue. He stared at his lover regretfully, hoping to find a way to undo his past mistakes. However, hardly he knew that he didn’t have to use so many words to convince Mark of his true feelings.

“You know, you had me at that lap dance earlier. There’s nothing to forgive, Nyoungie.” Mark gave him one of his most hard stopping smiles and he couldn’t help but smile back as they held hands under the table.

“I wouldn’t judge you or anything for going to a brothel, you know. You shouldn’t be ashamed to tell me that. I’m certain it was all his idea.” Jinyoung commented as the other’s smile faded.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Mark warned him with his eyes. The singer understood his mistake and immediately changed the subject.

“So, 2Jae, who would’ve thought, huh?”

“It seems Jackson was aware of it the whole time.” Mark said with a tinge of uncertainty in his voice.

“You know, he might be wrong. Perhaps JB was just looking after Youngjae’s feelings or something, that kid is pretty sensitive. It’s his precious dongsaeng after all.” The Korean shrugged as he took a sip of his coffee. His boyfriend observed his polite movements, the elegance he used to put the tea-cup back to the table, the way he delicately used the napkin to dry the corners of his luscious lips. All he could think was how he longed to taste those silky cushions above his lover’s perfect white teeth. He loved that prince before him and he couldn’t get enough of him. How could Jinyoung think he wasn’t exactly what he wanted and needed?

“You really think I’m out of your league?” Mark asked out of the blue, returning to their previous topic.

“I do.” He said simply, as he gracefully crossed his legs and rested his chin on one of his hands, while the other still held Mark’s under the table.

“What if I told you I’d accept that ring now?” the American sounded determined, Jinyoung’s heart skipped a beat and he almost lost himself in his lover’s eyes, but he wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

“You’ll get it when the time is right. Now we need to focus on our current problems.” He wanted to ignore JB’s warnings and bend the knee, but he knew he couldn’t.

“If you’re talking about Jackson, he is the least of your concerns. You are the man of my life.” Mark said that with so much emotion in each word that if they weren’t in public, the younger would certainly jump on his boyfriend and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

“My God, I keep falling for you again and again.” Jinyoung confessed as he moved one of his legs between Mark’s and rubbed their knees together.

“What else makes you insecure? Tell me all of it.” Mark looked at him attentively. He wanted to erase all doubts in his dongsaeng’s mind.

“Letter2u.” As soon as Jinyoung said it, the American’s face fell.

“Why? It’s not like the letters are coming anymore.” Mark lied, solely to protect his beloved. Jinyoung also decided to play the lying game to his own favor.

“I know that stalker made you choose between me and Jackson. I know that sicko poisoned him and that you both are supposed to keep quiet about it. And I know all of that because letter2u contacted me too.” Jinyoung saw the horror blind Mark’s eyes one more time that day. First it was in the practice room when Yougyeom mentioned Macau and now, it was that unsavory subject, the anonymous sasaeng.

“Were you threatened? Did they ask anything of you?” the American inquired worriedly.

“No, Mark. I guess that he, or, she, or they or whatever just wanted to let me know that we are being watched again.”

“Jackson has tried to make contact with this person through my phone in order to set up a meeting but he hasn’t been successful.” Mark revealed, as he bit his lower lip. Jinyoung touched his cheeks in order to make him stop doing that. Soon the other released his abused lip.

“That’s dangerous. We should contact the police.”

“They can’t help us now, they couldn’t before. They are useless.” The American sighed in frustration as he ran a hand through his hair nervously.

“Promise me you’ll let me know if you get a note, a text, a call, or an e-mail from that lunatic. Please don’t keep me in the dark anymore. At least not about this.”

“I just did it to protect you Jinyoung!”

“But you don’t have to anymore. I can take care of myself.” The singer insisted.

“None of us can. We are all enslaved to letter2u's demands. And if I have to lie to you again to keep you alive, do not doubt it, I’ll do it, no matter the cost.” Mark never felt so determined in his life. His boyfriend admired his courage, but still feared that his bravery and Jackson’s carelessness combined could get them in trouble. He needed to be there when the situation needed to be mediated.

“Let’s fight this menace together from now on, the three of us then. Now letter2u will have to deal with the MarkJinSon squad.” Jinyoung stated, as Mark nodded to him enthusiastically. A clap of hands and a snicker suddenly could be heard behind the American. Someone stood up from the table beside them and approached theirs with an air of superiority.

“Well boys, I wonder how do you plan to fight me. Sorry to surprise you like this, I just thought it was about time we meet face-to- face.”

The couple looked at the person alarmed. Could that one possibly be the infamous letter2u?

Chapter Text

The two idols were speechless when the stranger took a seat in front of them.

“You shouldn’t look so surprised. What did you expect? A lunatic fangirl wearing a Got7 shirt, a Markson bracelet and a Markjin headband?” the boy spoke hurriedly. He looked much more younger than both of them. He was a little chubby, and his glasses and clothes made him look like a complete nerd.

“Who are you and why are you doing this? Mark asked suddenly, making Jinyoung eye him with apprehension. The singer was so spooked that he thought that even addressing the stranger was too risky. He imagined that a bomb could explode at any moment under their table. Considering letter2u’s dangerous ways, he wondered if that moment wasn’t a life-threatening event. He froze on the spot when the new face started speaking again.

“My name is Legion, for we are many.” He answered in a sarcastic tone.

“Excuse me?” Jinyoung found his voice again as he eyed the person incredulously. For a second, he thought that stranger could be in some sort of underground cult or something and that made him even more edgy. His boyfriend’s expression was unreadable as he tried to digest the boy’s words.

“My Goodness, aren’t you guys Christian? In Mark 5, Jesus Christ finds a demon possessed man and when He asks the name of the wretched creature, that’s his answer. Aren’t you familiar with the Gospel of Mark? You idols are so shallow.” The stranger shook his head in frustration.

“Are you religious or something? What does this have to do with anything? Why are you trying to kill us?!” Jinyoung was anxious and frightened at the same time. In front of him was the one responsible for his members’ misery and he wanted plausible answers before he could gather enough courage to call the police.

“He’s not alone in this, Jin. That’s what he means. There are many behind letter2u’s acts.” Mark concluded thoughtfully as he looked at the kid knowingly. His lover sighed in dismay as he still tried to fight his desire to take Mark’s hand and run away from that weird kid.

“I see you are the brains in this relationship.” The boy snorted derisively at the American.

“How many?” Jinyoung asked coldly, dismissing the other’s comment.

“Guys, I was just fucking with you. I just thought it would be funny to answer another Mark the same way the Evangelist wrote in the bible. I have no idea who is behind this, but I know that I was not the only one working for this person, or group. They hired me through Deep Web, they’ve paid me rather well to hack some of your electronic devices, yet, I have never met letter2u in person. Anyways, I’m not one of them anymore. So I’m willing to help you guys in exchange for a nice amount of money, of course.” The boy looked expectantly at the pair.

“So, let me see if I understand this, letter2u hires a hacker to hack into our cellphones, social media and God knows what else. Makes our lives a living hell. Then this hacker is ditched for some unknown reason and now he wants us to pay him good money in exchange of information on his boss? Unfuckinbelievable!” Mark looked mad as he shook his head at Jinyoung.

“They didn’t fire me, I just kind of resigned. There’s only so much a person like me can take. They were asking me absurd stuff, things that would go against all my morals. Most of the bad stuff was not my thing. But I can assure you, the red car incident and the poisoning at the Fanmeeting were nothing compared to what they have in store for you. There are specialists much better than me out there, willing to do anything for money. Ethics or morals mean nothing to them. Listen, I can’t stay here all day. They might be watching me. You see, this is a Yes or No question. If you don’t want my help, just say so and I’ll be out of here.” The boy seemed a bit disturbed as he looked at his watch and scanned the canteen out of the corner of his eyes. He tried to remain in control of the situation, but at the same time, he seemed a bit jumpy.

“That’s nice, a religious hacker with a conscience! How the hell did you even get inside this building!?” Mark needed to buy time, he still was unsure about that kid. He wanted to know more about him before accepting any kind of deal. However, his lover quickly cut him off.

“Let’s talk business, how can you help us if you don’t even know your boss?” Jinyoung asked suspiciously.

“Is that a yes? If you are serious about this, meet me at Oryu-dong Station at 4pm. I’ll be wearing a Got7 hoodie.” The kid said with a giggle as he winked at the couple.

“We are not meeting you anywhere! This could be a trap.” Mark remarked as he stared hard at his boyfriend.

“I’ll be there.” Jinyoung asserted, as the boy stood up, nodded at him and walked away in a hurry. The American was flabbergasted.

“Are you insane? Are you trying to get yourself killed? We should call the cops on him right now!”

“Mark, you said yourself that we should fight this psycho. This teenager is harmless, and if you haven’t noticed, he’s afraid. Maybe letter2u likes to keep track of former employees. If you want my opinion, I think it was really audacious of him to come here and offer us his services. Do you think he would show up here at JYPE if he hasn’t covered his own tracks? Probably the cops would have nothing against him. He’s a hacker remember? Let’s get him on our side. God knows we need all the help we can get.” The singer’s tone was desperate now.

“Please, let’s just go to practice and forget about this meeting. This can be one more of letter2u’s tricks. I don’t want you near that kid, I have a bad feeling about him.” The American begged as he watched Jinyoung stand up.

“How can you think about practice when our lives are at risk? Did you hear the part he said that much bigger storms are coming our way?” the singer wouldn’t let his boyfriend change his mind. The American sighed and stood up too.

“Okay, we’ll text JB later and come up with some excuse.”

The two idols were wearing casual clothes, caps and a mask. The station was crowded and they could only pray that no one would recognize them there. They immediately noticed someone on a bench wearing a Got7 hoodie. Mark started walking at the person’s direction, but suddenly Jinyoung held his arm with uncertainty in his eyes. The American frowned at that.

“Wait, what if it’s not him? Mark, maybe we should go back.”

“And you say that now?! Stop having cold feet, this is not the time, Jinyoung! I’m just gonna talk to him. We are not following him anywhere. As long as there are people around, he won’t harm us.” Mark said carefully as he brushed his boyfriend’s sweating hands away. When he approached the person wearing the Got7 hoodie, he sighed relieved as he recognized the boy.

“We gotta get in the train, I think I’m being followed.” The boy told him nervously. Jinyoung was about two steps behind them scanning the station when a girl stopped him and asked if he was Got7’s Jinyoung. He tried to deny it, but she insisted that she was a loyal Ahgase and that she couldn’t be wrong. While the singer tried to be polite and get rid of the girl, he watched as Mark and the boy walked in the direction of the train. If that fan kept delaying him, they would get on the train without him. So he just gave her his autograph, asked for her discretion and tried to catch up with the two. From where he was, he could see another hooded figure on the left side of kid while Mark was on his right. To his horror, as soon as the train was about to reach the station and approached the plataform, the third figure pushed the boy into the subway tracks. Multiple screams could be heard. It seemed that the emergency brakes could not avoid the fatal accident due to the short distance. An appalled Jinyoung tried hard to get to Mark, but dozens of curious people kept him from getting there faster.

Mark was in shock as he stared down at the bloody tracks. The crimson liquid was splashed on his shoes and some of it also reached his pants and hands. The American trembled like a leaf as people asked him if he was all right. The third person was nowhere to be seen, of course. The idol felt like fainting right there as a wave of nausea ran through him.

“Yien, move!” the well-known voice said in Chinese and he finally snapped out of his trance. Familiar strong hands took him away from the crowd before the guards got to the scene. Jinyoung saw that and followed them to a car outside the station. The man who grabbed at Mark had a grey wig, and a long bear, but the singer recognized that profile from afar. When he finally caught up to the pair out of the station, he was beside himself. He still couldn’t believe someone was killed back there.

“What the hell happened? Is he…How come you are here?” Jinyoung never sounded so frightened in his life. He just observed a panicked Jackson getting rid of his disguise and fastening Mark’s seatbelt without giving him much attention. When the rapper sat on the driver’s seat, he eyed the singer impatiently.

“He’s dead Jinyoung! I suggest you stop talking and get in before we get involved in this mess any further!” Jackson yelled at his dongsaeng, who immediately got inside the car and closed the door. As his hyung sped up the vehicle, Jinyoung noticed the American’s state.

“Mark are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.” the singer touched his shoulder from the backseat and that was enough to make his boyfriend start weeping. The pitiful sound made Jinyoung’s eyes water too. He regretted going to that station, he regretted not listening to Mark. Now someone was dead and there was no remedy for that.

“Shut up, Park Jinyoung! How can you ask something like that! He’s not fine, none of us are. This whole situation is fucked up!” Jackson reprimanded him, as he couldn’t stand the sight of his two friends crying. Especially Mark.

“Where are we going?” the singer whispered as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

“They are waiting for us at my apartment.” The Chinese said shortly. Mark turned to him surprised, pausing his sobs.

“They?” he managed to whisper.

“Got4. They all wanted to come, but I promised them I’d bring you guys home safe and sound.” As soon as he said it, Mark eyed Jinyoung nervously.

“I texted Jaebeom, in case something happened to us. I told him everything, I’m sorry.” The singer confessed as Mark nodded at him understandingly.
When they reached Jackson’s apartment and opened the door, they found his four members totally focused watching the news. Witnesses at Oryu-dong Station were giving their accounts of the tragedy that happened on the rails. Some people said it was suicide, while others confirmed that a hooded individual pushed the youngster. Authorities informed that they would have a better understanding of what happened as soon as they checked the security cameras at the subway station. The victim was a high school student, the only child of a teacher and a computer programmer.
The four Got7 members only acknowledged the trio’s arrival and turned their heads in their direction when Jackson cleared his throat from behind them. They stayed petrified for a while when they saw the state of their oldest hyung. Mark and Jinyoung had taken off their mask and cap, but the American was the only one stained with blood.

“He was only 16. Is it cruel of me to be relieved that it wasn’t you under that train, hyung?” Yougyeom sounded desolated as he ran to Mark and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. The American melted in his younger brother’s embrace. He needed that comforting gesture. He stole a glance at the couch and he could see that Bambam and Youngjae had been crying. Their puffy eyes followed his and Jinyoung’s movements with worry. He noticed that JB, Jinyoung and Jackson were already whispering to each other in a corner of the living room. The leader patted the singer’s back and at the same time ruffled the Chinese’s hair. When the maknae let Mark go, Jaebeom eyed Mark’s hands and dirty clothes and grabbed him by the arm.

“You should get cleaned up, hyung. Come with me.” He said simply as he was about to take Mark to the bathroom, but Youngjae stopped him.

“Let me take care of him.” The dongsaeng said, knowing how the leader could be intimidating and how Mark wouldn’t feel totally comfortable around him. Unexpectedly, Jaebeom only nodded at the younger and let go of Mark’s arm. He trusted their eldest to his dongsaeng.The two soon went inside one of Jackson’s en suites and closed the door behind them.

“He looks awful. Is his sanity going to survive this time? I mean, with the red car incident no one got hurt, at least not physically and he got all agoraphobic and shit. Now he has just witnessed somebody’s final moments, and I don’t need to be a head doctor to know that this thing can seriously screw someone up.” Bambam looked at his others members with anguish etched on his face. He was often the optimistic one, but right now, he felt hopeless.

“I myself still feel like throwing up and I didn’t even get to see the tragedy up close. I also wonder if he’ll be able to overcome such a trauma.” Jinyoung’s voice was distant. He wanted to get inside that en suite and play the boyfriend’s role, hold the American’s hand, whisper him soothing words of encouragement, help him clean his body and his conscience. However, he didn’t feel like he would be of much help right now. The singer had no positive energy or comfort to offer his lover, because he felt like they both had murdered that boy.

“Yes, he will. He always does. And you should be the one inside that room right now telling him that.” Jackson asserted before anyone could say anything else. The singer looked away as he crossed his arms around himself, bit his lip and tried hard not to cry.

“Take it easy, man. Look at Jinyoung, anyone can tell he feels guilty. Believe me, Mark doesn’t need that right now.” JB commented, easily reading his best friend’s mind, as always. The leader wondered how bad that would affect their relationship. That’s why he volunteered to help Mark get cleaned up, he just didn’t want the singer to feel obliged to do it himself because they are boyfriends. He guessed that Jinyoung would try to be a source of strength to the American and he also knew his friend would terribly fail at it, probably making things even worse. They needed their space right now.

“Are we going to let letter2u get away with murder? If this batshit crazy excuse for a human being is out there walking free, the three of you will be a target forever. No one should live their lives looking over their shoulder. We should talk to JYP and tell the police about the dead kid’s involvement with this lunatic. They might find some clue about this psycho in the boy’s house or something.” Yougyeom said, sounding more mature than ever.

“You forget that this hacker was working against us and that he was a criminal. Besides, letter2u may have people in the police force and even in the company that we work. Don’t you think it is strange that the authorities are unable to arrest this motherfucker? Maybe they already know and they don’t care because they are paid not to care! What about those initial letters we received? Someone close to us was obviously putting them in our bags, leaving them at our doors or places where we had our schedules. We can only trust each other and our families. However, in order to keep our parents and relatives safe, we shouldn’t ask them for help, even if we feel tempted to do it.” Jackson warned, as he pondered their limited options to remain unscathed. The others silently reflected on his words for a while, and it was Jaebeom who suddenly came up with a radical solution.

“Hear me out, before this tour starts, we are going to stick together, just like in the old dorm days. No one will touch us if we look after each other closely. No more secrets shall be kept between us. We are going to eat together, shower together, sleep together, brush our teeth together and no one is going anywhere alone. This is not a democracy anymore, okay?!” JB pointed out, eyeing his four members with determination.

“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Jinyoung quoted the famous African proverb and nodded at his friend. He clearly agreed with Jaebeom’s idea. He didn’t want to go back to his apartment or Mark’s. He didn’t feel safe anywhere but there with his 6 comrades. The singer didn’t trust the police, nor the staff that surrounded them at the JYPE building. If that hacker kid had access to the canteen that morning, other underlings of letter2u could easily infiltrate the company.

“Are you suggesting that the 7 of us stay here in Jackson’s apartment? There’s not even enough space for all of us!” Bambam protested. He didn’t like the idea of being confined and monitored like in the old days.

“Our dorm room was smaller than this luxury apartment, Bam. There are 3 guest rooms, it’s more than enough, we can share like we used to. No big deal.” Yougyeom argued as he started to entertain the idea of living with his hyungs again. Deep down, he missed sharing the same roof with them. And right now, he was determined to provide them all the support they needed to overcome that situation.

“You guys are more than welcome to stay. But we still have to hear what Youngjae and Mark have to say about that.” Jackson reminded them. He wasn’t sure if the American would be comfortable with the idea. However, all his doubts were cleared when his ex’s voice filled the room.

“I don’t think we would have a problem with that. By the way, I took the liberty of borrowing some of your clothes. But I’m sure you don’t mind.” Mark’s voice surprised everyone in the room as he turned to the rapper. His hair was still wet from the shower. He was dressed in a pair of stylish joggers and one of Jackson’s several black sweatshirts. Youngjae was behind him, holding a towel in his hand. The dongsaeng sat on the carpet and motioned to Mark to seat between his legs. The American obliged and quietly sat on the carpet as he allowed Youngjae to dry his hair. The scene was so domestic that made the others just observe them for a while. JB finally cleared his throat and started speaking again.

“It’s settled then. One for all and all for one. Go to your apartments, grab clothes and other basic necessities that can last for a week.”

“Can I bring Coco here?” Youngjae asked innocently as the maknaes eyed him with amusement. Mark suppressed a smile, he felt bad for even smiling at that moment. He felt bad for a lot of things.

“You’ve gottta be fucking kidding me, Choi Youngjae.” Jackson cursed under his breath. Soon JB and Bambam would be dragging his cats to his apartment too and turn it into a pet hotel.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea. Leave it in your brother’s care, okay? You won’t have time to look after her anyways. We have a tour coming up and we’ll spend most of our time practicing at the company.” JB replied wisely as he smirked at the rapper’s sigh of relief.

“We should get going then. Our bodyguards are outside, they can drive us to our apartments to get our stuff and bring us back here.” Bambam commented resignedly. He probably wouldn’t be able to bring half of his closet to Jackson’s apartment.

“I don’t have to go. I’ve just noticed that I have left some stuff of mine here.” Mark said as he let Youngjae got up to join Bambam, Yougyeom, JB and Jinyoung at the door.

“I wonder why you are wearing his clothes then.” Jinyoung said, trying his best to sound casual. The other members who were putting their shoes on eyed each other with worry. They wondered if the intensity of that love triangle would fit in that apartment for a week.

“They look cooler.” Mark replied without looking at him. JB noticed the tension and hurried his dongsaengs out of the apartment.

“Are you gonna be okay alone with him?” Jinyoung asked softly before closing the door.

“Why the hell wouldn’t I be? Just go already!” Mark answered harshly as he gave his boyfriend an annoyed look.

“We won’t be long.” The singer assured even though he felt a bit hurt. He stole a last warning look at the rapper closed the door and left the two alone to join the others outside.

“We need to talk.” Mark said sternly as soon as he found himself totally alone with Jackson. The American looked firmly at his ex-lover, who braced himself to hear whatever he had to say.

Chapter Text

“What does he know?” the incensed American crossed his arms around himself as he waited for an answer.

“You’re forgetting that it was your boyfriend who texted JB, not me. I didn’t even know you and Jinyoung were in this crazy 007 mission by yourselves, which by the way, was very stupid of your part.” Jackson started, as he sat on the sofa and kept a safe distance from him. He was still plagued by the images of what happened at Jinyoung’s kitchen once. He promised himself this conversation would not deteriorate the long hours they spent at therapy.

“Oh, is that so? What would you have done differently then?” Mark’s tone was sarcastic as he sneered at the Chinese.

“I’d have brought myself out there, not Jinyoung! He obviously can’t handle shit like that. I thought we were in this together, Mark.” The rapper still couldn’t believe that the pair had gotten themselves in that dangerous situation. He also felt bad for being left out. If MarkJinSon was letter2u’s target all this time, he couldn’t understand why the couple didn’t tell him about the meeting. He considered Jinyoung too soft, and Mark too unstable. In his opinion, that wasn’t a good combination.

“We! There’s no ‘we’ anymore as far as I’m concerned, Jack. You made sure of that, remember?” the American gave him a loathsome look, one that made his ex’s feel like the worst person in the world.

“For the hundredth time, I’m sorry! I know my words mean nothing, but they are all I have. Okay, you still resent me for everything that happened to us, that’s fair. I understand that, I am mad at myself too! Nevertheless, I cannot erase that awful thing that I did to you in that brothel. Mark, I really wish I could turn back time, but it’s impossible! If you want to take a swing at me, go ahead, do it! Tell the other guys, have me behind bars! But for the love of God stop looking at me like that! I’ll do anything you say, just please, don’t hate me.” Jackson almost choked, as he looked away, unable to hold his gaze for too long. Mark felt an unknown pleasure to see his ex in such turmoil. He knew the Chinese well, and he could tell he was being sincere. He just wanted to make sure their secret was still only theirs.

“How did you get at Oryu-dong Station?” the American walked to the couch and made the other face him as he held his cheek and forced Jackson to look him in the eye. The rapper swallowed hard and started talking.

“I was practicing with Bambam and Yougyeom at the company. Then Youngjae and JB returned together. As soon as they entered the practice room I could tell JB was disturbed about something and it wasn’t just the truth or dare game. Then he kept shouting at me, asking if I knew something about the meeting. However, I was totally clueless, so he showed me Jinyoung’s text. It basically said that letter2u was back and that you and him were going to the station to meet a hacker that worked for that psycho. Our leader wanted to pick you guys up and so did the maknaes, but I stopped them. I convinced our members that the 7 of us at that Station would certainly bring a lot of attention to ourselves, even if we in disguises. So I took them to my apartment, told them to wait for me there and drove to the station as fast as I could. That’s all. When Jinyoung mentioned he told Jaebeom everything, I’m sure he didn’t mean ‘everything’."

“Jinyoung knows about the row we had in his kitchen and the therapy sessions. I’ve already told him about those. But he also know about the poisoning and the choice I made between you two. He claims letter2u told him.” Mark eyed him suspiciously.

“He lied, I was the one who told him. He wanted to know about Macau. I had to throw him off the scent by feeding his creative mind with something concrete. You can’t imagine how difficult it was to get him off of my back.” Jackson scoffed as he struggled to explain himself.

“Even though I told you not to. Why is that when I always say ‘no’ to something you just don’t seem to listen?” Mark accusing tone was merciless and he knew how to choose his words well. Jackson looked down and put both his hands on his face. Shame and guilt crawled under his skin.

“I’m starting to think you were right. I should’ve died at that FanMeeting. Jesus Christ, that should have had a different ending.” The Chinese sighed in defeat. Those words made Mark frown at him, he honestly didn’t like what he heard.

“You’re not allowed to die before you redeem yourself. I don’t want to ever hear you say something like that again, not you! What’s wrong, huh?! I thought you wanted to make amends, yet now it sounds like you just want to escape from all of it. Don’t you dare Wang Jia Er, don’t you fucking dare.” Mark remarked sourly.

“Why are you wearing my damn clothes?” Jackson asked out of the blue as he looked up at him.

“Just to spite you. I know your kinks, Jack. I remember how you loved to see me wearing your stuff, especially after sex. It gave you a sense of dominance over me. It was like I was wearing your initials on my skin. It comforted you the idea of covering me with yourself. It made you confident and proud. But I bet you look at me now, walking around your apartment, wearing your fabric, and you don’t have the same feeling as before. You just see something you lost and you cannot lay your hands on anymore. That must make you miserable, right?” Mark said it with a serenity that scared his ex.

“God, you’re really getting your kicks from rubbing salt in my wounds, I wish you didn’t know me that well. But that’s not like you, okay? Look, Mark, I know that what you experienced today wasn’t easy. You witnessed a terrible death and that kind of thing changes you.” Jackson tried to reason with him. He knew how things could get out of hand if Mark seriously lost his temper.

“There are things worse than death, and you, my dear, you have shown me the worst. It did change me indeed, I’m not the old Mark you used to know and I’ll never be him again. I can fake it to keep the others’ suspicions at bay, especially Jinyoung’s. But since you’ve shown me your worst, I thought I should do the same.” Mark retorted, raising an eyebrow at him.

“What happened to ‘let bygones be bygones’?” Jackson’s voice trembled.

“If you really believed that could happen, you’re the most naïve person in this world.”

“That means you’ll never really forgive me.” The rapper thought out loud.

“I’ve heard once that ‘forgiveness is the best way to get revenge’. I even entertained that idea at some point, believe me, I did. And I tried hard to look at you and not see the monster you actually are. But now I think that’s a lot of crap. I realize that I want you to suffer, Mandu, I want you to suffer as much as I’ve been suffering up till now.” Mark voiced his darkest feelings while using his old nickname and that was enough to make Jackson’s eyes water, but the tears didn’t fall. They were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing.

“I came as fast as I could. I took a taxi since the others decided to wait for Bambam to finally choose the shoes he was bringing.” Jinyoung exhaled deeply and examined the pair before him. The rapper gave him a broken smile and looked away. The singer had a handbag in one hand and a toiletry bag in the other. He looked again between the two and noticed how Jackson’s eyes were lifeless.

“Let me show you our room before the others arrive.” Mark exclaimed with a smile, as he grabbed Jinyoung by his arm, dragged him inside one of the empty en suites and closed the door behind them. As soon as they were inside, Mark took the items from his boyfriend’s hands and threw them on the floor. The singer was puzzled by his actions. When he had left the Jackson’s place earlier his lover was clearly upset, but now he looked like a different person. He couldn’t help but gasp when he felt the American’s cold hands invade his sweater and the passionate kiss he had was receiving almost knocked him senseless. It had been a while. He missed that kind of intimacy with Mark and his hungry touches immediately made him hard. After that engagement ring fiasco they did not have much time alone and that fact made him crave for Mark even more. He was aware of Jackson’s presence just outside in the living room and he didn’t want the rapper to hear them. He was also aware of his members’ eminent arrival and that made him
even more aroused, even though he tried to fight it.

“I want you dick so bad. I want to feel you come inside my tight little ass. I want you to fill me with your seed, Nyoungie.” Mark whispered sexily, as he bit on Jinyoung’s sensitive earlobe. The American had gotten rid of every piece of Jackson’s clothes he was wearing, he was totally naked and pressing himself at Jinyoung’s body against the door. Jinyoung moaned as he felt Mark’s hand unzip his pants and palm his erection. The erotic words that left his boyfriend’s mouth almost made him come. But the American attacked his lips again and slowly pushed him to the king sized bed. Jinyoung had never seen his boyfriend so horny and sensually demanding. He became alarmed when Mark came on top of him, sat on his thighs and tried to force Jinyoung’s hard penis in his unprepared anus.

“Hey, baby, slow down. You gonna hurt yourself.” The singer managed to say, but the other hungrily captured his lips again and pressed their bodies together. Jinyoung knew then that something was seriously wrong.

“Then hurt me good, fuck me till I bleed, please.” Mark ceased his rough kisses and looked him in the eye. When he got no reaction from Jinyoung’s perplexed orbs, he tried once more to impale himself with his lover’s length. He hissed as he almost managed to get the tip in. That was clearly painful, but he did not intend to stop that now. He felt like he deserved that, that kind of pain belonged within him. But suddenly his boyfriend threw him on the bed, changing their positions. Mark was on his back now and his boyfriend was above him.

“No, Mark. Not like that. We’ll not do it like that! I want to know what the fuck is wrong with you. Did you take anything? Tell me before I lose my shit!” Jinyoung was extremely hard, and all his body yearned to follow Mark’s guidance. He wanted to penetrate his lover and feel his insides enclose him, he longed for that. He wanted to make Mark scream his name as he filled him with pleasure and love, but he would never make him bleed.

“Hum, I love when you get all bossy, it makes me all tingly. Don’t be a prude Jin, you can call me a slut if you want it, use me like a whore.” The American insisted as he pressed his knee on Jinyoung’s hard on, teasing the younger even more. Jinyoung held Mark’s arms above his head trying to make the other listen him, but Mark’s attempts to rub himself on him was making the Korean lose his senses.

“I won’t do it, because you’re none of those. Not even whores deserve this kind of treatment, to be honest, no one does. And if that’s the kind of stuff you used to do with your previous lover, remember I’m not him.” Jinyoung said firmly as he saw the American’s face change.

“You’re just afraid your dick might not make me come as hard as his used to.” Mark’s passion turned cold as he stared up at his boyfriend. Jinyoung wasn’t expecting to hear that and he didn’t mean to sound as harsh as he did the second he heard him.

“Maybe you should whore yourself to Jackson then. I heard he pays good money for a nice piece of ass. But I know how you’re willing to give it to him for free. It’s a win-win situation.” The singer spat, yet, as soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted them.

“Let me go to him then.” Mark retorted as he struggled to get free from his boyfriend’s hold. Jinyoung could tell he was hurt by his words because he noticed how his eyes watered, even when he looked away from him.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no chance I’ll let him have you ever again.” Jinyoung said as he kissed Mark’s mouth. Although the American initially refused the kiss, he stopped fighting the contact of his lips when his boyfriend let go of his arms and held his face to him lovingly. The singer lowered his lips on him with adoration. He put all his feelings into that kiss. It wasn’t rough, nor violent. It was preciously slow and it deepened spontaneously. Mark brought one of his hands to the back of his lover’s neck as he sucked his tongue and received the ardor of his dongsaeng’s affection. They kissed until they were both breathless. They eyed each other for a moment and it was Mark who broke their enchanting silence.

“I love you. Make love to me, love.” As soon as the American said it, Jinyoung jumped from the bed, got the lube from his toiletry bag that was on the floor and returned to his lover’s warmth. He took off the his clothes completely and nestled himself between his lover’s legs again. Mark’s eyes were half opened with desire when he felt one of Jinyoungs lubed finger carefully tease his hole. Their erections were almost touching each other. He moaned with pleasure when Jinyoung touched his penis and inserted his finger inside him painfully slow. He knew what the singer was doing, he was loving him, every single piece of him. And he couldn’t help but fall in love with the younger all over again.

“I love you, Mark.” Jinyoung whispered as he showered his boyfriend’s face with kisses and licks. He inserted one more finger while he sucked on his nipples and a third when he sucked on the skin of his neck. Mark was already trembling underneath him when Jinyoung stopped scissoring him and positioned himself at his entrance. He paused there for a bit, and what a sight he beheld before him. His lover was all sweaty and ready for him.

“Why did you stop?” Mark complained as his heartbeats quickened.

“May I?” Jinyoung showed him his hard on and looked down at his hole. Mark found that amusing at that point, but he nodded at him. As the singer finally got the permission he wanted, he pushed himself inside Mark, giving him time to adjust himself to the invasion. The American soon pressed himself at him, signaling the younger to start moving. The singer stroked his boyfriend’s penis and moved inside him, pacing their rhythm between moans and pants. When Jinyoung hit the right spot inside the older, he felt his lover’s legs encircle him with more urgency. He sped up their rhythm as he himself lost himself inside Mark. As their lovemaking became more intense, loud sexual noises filled the room. When both of them reached their climax, Jinyoung fell over Mark, but remained inside him. They let their come mingle as they pressed their bodies together. The American held him close as they waited for their breathing to return to normal. Jinyoung lift himself a little bit just to give his lover butterfly kisses and mu
rmur multiple ‘I love yous’ in his ear. The way the singer touched and smiled at him gave Mark the impression that he wanted more sex.

“If you’re doing what you think you’re doing, give up. If we have a second round I won’t be able to dance properly for a week.” Mark joked, but his lover’s worried face ceased his laugh.

“Are you hurt, Mark? Did I hurt you anywhere?” Jinyoung asked as he stroked his side.

“No! Of course not. You just tired me out, boyfriend.” Mark answered sexily as he emphasized the last word and gave the singer a peck. The other beamed at him.

“I had another idea in mind. You don’t have to do anything, just let me ride you.” Jinyoung blushed as soon as he said it. Mark eyed him surprised. That would be the first time his boyfriend suggested that. His hard on was back as soon as he imagined the possibility of topping Jinyoung.

“Are you gonna bottom for me?” Mark whimpered as the younger sat on his hips and licked his lips.

“Don’t you wanna be inside me?” Jinyoung answered his question with another and rubbed his ass against Mark’s erection. His perfect abs and firm tights made the American salivate. And that cock who had just been inside him minutes earlier begged to be taken care of.

“I haven’t done this for a while. Don’t blame me if I don’t do it right.” Mark’s reddened cheeks made him even more adorable. Jinyoung could not resist that sudden shyness, and started stroking Mark’s stomach, which was still covered with his cum. The singer’s eyes followed his lover’s movements all the time, especially when he licked his fingers to taste the substance. He used the same finger to finger himself as his other hand stroked his own penis. He practically masturbated himself on the American, who found those gestures extremely sexy.

“My God, you’re good at that”. Mark grunted as he held Jinyoung by the hips.

“I had a lot of practice. I’ve been planning to seduce you for a while, Mark Tuan. Is it working?”

“Absolutely. I wish I could see you down on all fours as I take you from behind.” Mark licked his lips as Jinyoung smirked at him. The singer got up from his lover and positioned himself beside him in doggie-style.

“Come and get it, baby.” Jinyoung’s voice never sounded so lascivious as he winked at him. Those round and pink buttocks up in the air begged to be spanked. Mark didn’t waste time on bending him over and penetrating him. The singer moaned as he spread his ass to receive his lover’s cock inside him. Mark slapped his butt cheeks and shoved his length inside his hole. They both panted as Mark pushed himself in and out of Jinyoung. The singer stroked himself harder and tried to keep his balance when his toes started to curl in pleasure. The sensation increased when he felt Mark’s hand grab at his hair and pound inside of him mercilessly. He could already feel Mark’s warm seed fill his insides. And the mere thought of giving his partner so much pleasure made him come too. They both stayed in that position for a while. Jinyoung buried his face on a pillow as he tried to recover from such an intense lovemaking. He definitely approved Mark’s topping. It was better than he had imagined. He didn’t mind being dominated sometimes and he surely would try that again, at least once a month with Mark. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of a quiet sniffling. He thought he was hearing things, but when he lifted his head from the pillow and looked behind him, he saw his boyfriend crying.

“Hey, what’s wrong, honey?” Jinyoung asked him sweetly as he stroked his cheeks.

“I’m sorry to treat you like that, I didn’t mean to. That was dirty.” Mark sobbed uncontrollably as he looked down at his hands. That hot lovemaking session made him remember the last time Jackson bent him like that, shoved his face on a pillow and violated his body.

“Babe, it’s okay. I’m alright, I wanted that. If I didn’t I would have said something. Couples get a bit dirty all the time. It’s fun and I have nothing against it. I actually like that side of yours. Please stop crying.”

“I am dirty Jinyoung. I am a stain in your life.” Mark’s emotions overwhelmed him.

“Mark don’t say that. You are perfect, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. There is nothing more pure and sacred than what we have between us. Sex is not a sin, it’s an act of love.” Jinyoung’s eyes shone as he tried to make his lover see the righteousness of their lovemaking.

“It’s not always about love, people can make sex feel heinous.” He stammered sorrowfully.

“Mark what are you trying to say?” Jinyoung eyed him awkwardly.

“He raped me.” Mark finally said it as he covered his face with his hands. His boyfriend could only gasp at that information. He immediately remembered the story Mark told him about his perverted P.E. teacher and he just connected the dots by himself. He assumed that the American’s teacher had sexually abused him years ago while he was in high school, even though his boyfriend denied at first. He didn’t know what to say for a while and he knew that nothing he could say at that moment would change what happened, but he promised to be strong for the older.

“Mark, hey, it’s all right. That’s in the past. It does not define who you are now. He won’t ever touch you again, no one will ever treat you like that. He didn’t taint you or anything. You are flawless in my eyes.”

“But he took me to that place and I let him do it, because I trusted him. I knew his intentions, he wanted to fuck me and I did not fight him at first. I thought he wouldn’t dare to hurt me like that. But I said no, I told him he was hurting me, I tried to get him off of me, but he wouldn’t listen. I told him to stop and I started crying so he slapped me and he took me from behind. It hurt so much! I was so humiliated, so ashamed!” Mark managed to say as tears kept falling. Jinyoung couldn’t help but cry with him.

“I’m sorry, Mark! I’m so sorry, baby. I would give anything to take this pain away from you. I didn’t know you, I didn’t notice your suffering. But I’m here for you, for whatever you need, I’ll always be. Cry as much as you want, just let it out baby.” Jinyoung held both his hands and brought their foreheads together. Anger filled him as he pictured a dirty old man luring the innocent and young Mark to a place where no one could hear his cries for help.

“But I was stupid. I challenged him, I dared him to ruthlessly hurt me. Maybe I knew what was gonna happen since the beginning. I provoked him, so, maybe deep down, I guess I wanted to be hit and raped? Perhaps, That’s why I loved him in the first place, because of his savagery. So it’s clear that I am the one to blame. I could’ve fought him harder, I could have run before it was too late, but I didn’t, maybe I enjoyed his brutality. Maybe he didn’t even violated me, it’s all in my mind! It’s my entire fault for being a dirty slut. Who else gets fucked in the ass at a place like that!?” Mark’s words didn’t make much sense to Jinyoung, but he understood his lover was going through the symptoms that all rape victims often suffered, denial and self-loathing.

“No, no! Don’t say that, honey. You didn’t want nor loved him. You didn’t desire nor allowed him to brutalize you the way he did. He was in the wrong, not you! Don’t ever think like that. You’re not a whore, a slut or whatever you call it. You were a victim and he should’ve paid for what he did to you.” Jinyoung asserted as he stared firmly at his boyfriend’s eyes. Marks sobs finally stopped as he met his lover’s gaze.

“That’s what my therapist told me.” Mark whispered as he ran a hand through his hair.

“That’s a wise doctor, you should listen to her more often.” The singer gave him an encouraging smile and kissed both his cheeks.

“How do you know it’s a ‘she’?” Marked eyed him curiously.

“Women are usually smarter than men. I can see she’s taking good care of you. You’re stronger these days.” Jinyoung commented, still wondering how Mark managed to cope with the events of that day.

“You say that because that kid was killed in front of me.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m relieved that you’re not traumatized or anything. I just think it’s a bit odd.” Jinyoung said sincerely, he didn’t want them to keep secrets from each other. He was aware that reading his lover’s feelings turned out to be a difficult task those days. The American’s mood swings were getting worse by each second.

“It was not like he was my best friend, Jinyoung. He helped letter2u to get to us at some point. I will not waste a single tear for him anymore. There are other more pressing issues to cry about.” Mark said as he gave his boyfriend a sad smile. He was surprised the singer didn’t walk out of that room to confront Jackson outside. He had just revealed to him the atrocious event that took place in Macau. He had finally let out the truth that his lover wanted to know so much. He thought that his reaction was quite atypical and that could not be right.

“Just remember that you’ll never need to see that scum of the earth anymore and the he can never hurt you again. That monstrous teacher of yours might be probably dead by now, burning in hell. You see, when we stop at the U.S for our tour, we can try to find out if he’s still alive, and if he is, we still can do something about it, Mark. He can get what he deserves, okay? Don’t forget I’m with you all the way.” Jinyoung assured his boyfriend, unable to see the internal conflict he was going through. The American had the chance to correct his boyfriend, he could undo that misunderstanding, tell him who really was the culprit and let the Chinese suffer the consequences of his acts. It was now or never.

“What would you do, if you met him in person? What would you say to the one who did that to me?” Mark asked, still unsure of what to do.

“I would have nothing to say to him, Mark. But I can assure you, if that trash showed up before me, it’s more likely one of us would end up dead.” Jinyoung answered darkly and the American sighed frustrated. He still could not tell him the whole truth. He didn’t want another death in his conscience, not so soon.

“Maybe we should get some sleep.” The older suggested, as he laid down and crawled under the covers.

“Don’t you wanna shower, or eat something? I can make you anything you want, just name it.” Jinyoung smiled fondly at him and Mark couldn’t help but smile back. He never felt so lucky to have someone like the singer in his life. He felt lighter after telling him about the rape. Even though it wasn’t the whole truth, he thought his boyfriend would be able to understand him better now. His therapist told him that as soon as he told his new boyfriend what happened, he would certainly be able to move on. He wanted to believe that, he really needed to let go of all that painful anger inside of him.

“I’m full, Jinyoungie. I just ate you, remember? Plus, I don’t feel like showering. I wanna sleep with your smell all over me.” Mark winked at him and that made Jinyoung laugh. He loved the sound of that.

“Get some sleep then. I’m going outside to see how the others are doing, okay? We’ve been locked in here for hours, they might get worried.” Jinyoung said as he pulled a towel from his bag, cleaned the remaining of cum smeared on him and started getting dressed.

“Considering how loud we were, I don’t think they are really worried about our well-being.” Mark chuckled as he watched his boyfriend blush.

“One more reason for me to go out there.” The singer replied, already fearing his bandmates unrelenting teasing. Before he opened the door to leave, he heard Mark’s voice again.

“I love you, Jinnie. Thanks for loving me back.”

“You’re welcome. And by the way, I love you more, Markie.” The Korean said quickly and blew him a kiss. He gave him another fatal smile and left the room, closing the door beside him. As soon as he came out JB eyed him up and down from the dining room. It seemed that the others had ordered food and didn’t bother to invite them for the meal.

“Look who’s here! I left something for you in the fridge. I imagined you would need some nourishment after wasting so much energy.” The leader snickered as he saw Jinyoung’s reaction. The dongsaeng was completely disconcerted.

“Were we that obvious?” the younger asked, his face red as a tomato.

“Do I really have to answer that? The whole building must have heard you two. Some say that danger makes people horny, that’s understandable. However, I just honestly thought you’d spare Jackson of that kind of thing. After all, it’s his place and that’s his ex-boyfriend you were fucking senseless in that room.”

“Look, JB…” the singer started but the leader cut him off.

“Spare me, Jin. I’m not the one you should be apologizing too. By the way, we already made the bedrooms’ arrangements. There’s a YugBam room, a 2Jae room, a MarkJin room obviously, and we had the common sense of letting Jackson have his room by himself.

“Fair enough. So, regarding that 2Jae room, it’s just like the old days, huh? That’s quite a huge step.” Jinyoung smirked at him. His hyung shook his head at him and gave him the finger. But the other just laughed it out.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Go to sleep and get these dirty thoughts out of your head. By the way, I’m glad the two of you are okay. Don’t you ever scare us like that again. We won’t let letter2u have their way with you three, I promise you.” JB stated with determination as his dongsaeng nodded at him appreciatively.

“Good night, Jaebeom-ah.” The singer said as he smiled at his hyung, who walked out of the room.

“Night, Jin.” The other said tiredly as he went into his 2Jae nestle.

Jinyoung knew he had to talk to Jackson and he didn’t want to wait till tomorrow to do it. Then he stopped before his front door and knocked softly on it. The Chinese opened it and let the younger in. As soon as Jinyoung was inside, the rapper turned his back on him and poured some whiskey to both of them. It seemed that would be a long night.

Chapter Text

“Jackson, I know it’s late but I’d like to have a word with you, if you don’t mind.” The singer started, trying to sound as calm as possible. After his boyfriend’s revelation, he knew he would need all the help he could get from the people closest to the American. He was aware that besides him, there was someone else in Got7 who knew Mark intimately and maybe that person would be able to provide him some sort of enlightenment.

“What else do you want? You got yourself the best guest room in my apartment and you get to share it with Mark! You get to shamelessly fuck him here with a clear conscience. To be honest, that seems a lot already. But you know what? I’m an extremely generous host. Just let me know if I can be of any further service to you.” Jackson said sarcastically as he gulped down the whole liquid inside his glass and offered another to his dongsaeng. The singer could tell he was drunk, but still, he took the glass from the older and gave it a sip. He understood his friend’s sour temper and to deal with it he didn’t have to be totally sober. God knows he needed that drink.

“It’s a bit late for this kind of beverage, don’t you think?” Jinyoung asked as he tasted the dry flavor flooding his mouth. The other scoffed.

“It’s a bit late for a lot of things Park Jinyoung, especially apologies.” The Chinese shot him an irksome glare and sat on an easy chair beside his nightstand. He offered another chair to the younger and quickly gulped down a second shot of whiskey.

“I didn’t knock on your door at this hour to apologize for something I’m not sorry for. You know me better than that.” The singer sat beside him and admired the gorgeous view from his hyung’s window. The moon outside was undoubtedly a sight to behold.

“Just go straight to the point, then. Before I pass out.” Jackson insisted, downing another shot.

“Has he told you about the rape?” Jinyoung promptly cut to the chase. The rapper almost dropped the bottle on his hand as he was about to pour himself another shot. His shocked expression caught the singer out of guard.

“Excuse me?!” the rapper managed to say as he eyed the other in disbelief. He wondered if he had drunk too much or if his hearing was playing tricks on him.

“For some reason I couldn’t believe I was the only one he opened up about it.” The younger suddenly regretted bringing up that topic. He felt like he was betraying his lover’s trust.

“What are you saying, Jinyoung?” Jackson found hard to believe that Mark would reveal that secret to someone, after the American himself made him swear not to tell anyone.

“Long story short, middle school was a nightmare for him. Bullying, drugs, cutting, self-attempted hanging, admission to a mental institution, and an abominable P.E. teacher that molested him.” The Korean’s voice almost cracked as he briefly described what his lover confessed to him. The rapper was confused for a moment. He realized that his band mate was talking about events that he had never heard about and definitely had nothing to do with what happened in Macau.

“Are we still talking about Mark Tuan Yien here? As far as I know he was very popular back in America, you know, the typical rich kid without a worry in his life. Lots of friends, very good at sports, he had satisfactory grades and he dated one of the hottest babes at his school. Where did you hear those things?” The Chinese wasn’t sure of what to think anymore. He had come to learn that his ex was very good at hiding his own feelings and keeping secrets to himself.

“Then he lied to one of us. And I’m sure he didn’t make it all up just to make me feel sorry for him. You did not see his face, how his whole body came undone before my eyes. I’m not the one he lied to, Jacks.” Jinyoung stated. And for the first time, after months dating Mark, he felt totally confident in that relationship. He noticed that Jackson swallowed hard those words.

“That’s a hell of a pillow talk! Wasn’t he on drugs or something? I don’t think I experienced that kind of dark sexual afterglow when we had that one night stand, Jin. Perhaps your dick cause different effects on people. It would be better if Mark stayed away from it.” Jackson knew that if he wasn’t under the influence of alcohol he probably would be more serious about the subject. He still couldn’t believe that during all of those years that he dated the American none of that came to his knowledge. He wouldn’t be able to believe that whole story if he didn’t hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. Jinyoung eyed him with contempt, but kept his composure.

“I wish you wouldn’t joke about something like that. In fact, I’d appreciate if you could keep this between us.” The singer’s voice was commanding and cold as he stood up from his chair. Jackson ignored the other’s tone. The rapper didn’t want to entertain the idea that his dearest Mark was suicidal and self-destructive even before he met him. Or worse, he could not bear the fact that he wasn’t the only one who had violated him. His guilt multiplied, and he could not find more room in his soul to bury that remorse. He wished the alcohol would make him forget his iniquity, but that definitely wasn’t working.

“If what you’re saying is true, maybe we have underestimated his problems. The Mark you just described to me is covered in unattended wounds. Some old, some more recent. And I bet you know what happens to wounds which are not properly cured, right? They fester, my friend. They infect the remaining health tissues and spread, corrupting every inch of its surrounding flesh. When the immune system is compromised, it takes over. People can die from infected wounds, Jin. I wonder if there will be something left of Mark whenever all this rotting is removed from his flesh. I wonder if there will be anything left to save in him. It would be shame if we suddenly found out that our beloved hyung turned into a big ball of necrosis hidden under useless bandages and gauze dressings.” The rapper eyes watered, as he remembered the look Mark gave him earlier, all that hatred could be a disguise of his decay.

“How can you say things like that! I thought that because you love him as much as I love him, you wouldn’t give up on getting him better. You came up with the forced therapy idea and I can see his improvement. If there’s something broken inside him, or ‘festering’ as you put it, we’ll find the best antibiotics for it!” Jinyoung’s eyes almost begged for his support.

“I am not sure that we alone can share such a responsibility. You came to this room looking for someone to help you carry the weight of being his boyfriend, or his friend! And I’m none of those anymore, we won’t ever mean anything to each other again. He’d rather see me as an enemy, he’d rather see me dead! Now tell me, how someone in my position can aid you in anyway?” the rapper seethed as he put down the bottle of whiskey on the floor. He sounded miserable, but he knew the younger was unable to understand his dilemma because he was unaware of what really happened between him and Mark.

“Well Jackson, there was a time, not long ago, that I was unable to see him as a friend or a boyfriend. Because you were dating him, because I was the one rejected, and I couldn’t imagine being a friend to him when all I wanted was to kiss him all the time! I stepped away, I got in a relationship with someone else, and I kept my distance. But when he showed up at my door, desperate because you had took off to Hong Kong, I was the one who shoved two fingers down his throat to keep him from overdosing! And I had to keep that to myself, I had to keep that from everyone.” Jinyoung accused, extremely upset by his band mate indifference. However, the rapper’s demeanor changed radically when the singer provided him that new information.

“When did that happen?!” Jackson sounded impossibly sober now. That night was indeed full of surprises. He would never imagine that Mark would do something like that even before that trip to Macau. How come he was so blind to his ex-lover’s mental health deterioration? He should be paying more attention to Mark at that difficult time. Was he so absorbed in himself that he couldn’t detect how letter2u had impacted the American’s life? Suddenly he felt like the worst boyfriend in the world.

“Not long after the red car accident. He was agoraphobic, anxious and obviously depressed. You left your traumatized boyfriend alone in that apartment in order to attend some freaking business overseas. When he begged for my help after taking a bunch of pills with vodka, my love for him didn’t make me turn him away or send him to a madhouse, the love I feel for him urged me to keep him alive.” Jinyoung rubbed that fact at the Chinese’s face, but he didn’t get the response he expected.

“Well, Jinyoung, congratulations! But you see, right now, my love for him is urging me to get him committed to a mental hospital. We’re going to call his parents and we’re doing this as fast as possible.” The rapper informed him without a trace of doubt in his words. He had completely made up his mind, he wouldn’t neglect those harrowing signs anymore. If he wasn’t the only one who had hurt Mark in that way, he needed to reconsider that idea of therapy. He couldn’t begin to imagine what that kind of violence could do to a person. Perhaps the American should be on meds.

“No! Are you crazy? They’ll take him away. That’s not necessary.” The younger almost stammered. He panicked as he watched the older take a cellphone from his pocket and put his shot of whiskey away. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Mark would never look him in the eye again if he learned Jinyoung was the one who drove Jackson to warn his parents.

“I’ll not be lenient this time, he ought to stop hiding behind his own lies, and you shouldn’t let him manipulate you. We cannot ignore that this self-harming shit has gone too far. I can’t believe you did nothing about it after he took those pills! Why do you think he suddenly decided to reveal all these things from his past to you? That’s a cry for help, man! We have to do this now before it’s too late.” The rapper retorted as he scrolled up and down his phone contacts. The singer was unable to keep his feelings in check when he abruptly took the cellphone from his hyung’s hands and threw it against a wall. The rapper eyed him as if he was mad.

“He’s not manipulating me! Come on, Jack, we have a tour, lots of countries to visit, Ahgases from all over the globe waiting from us. We can’t take that from him now.” Jinyoung insisted, as he blocked the Chinese’s passage when the other tried to pick his phone from the floor.

“Get out of my way, Jinyoung.” The Chinese warned, as he towered over the younger intimidatingly.

“Please don’t do that.” The singer pleaded as he touched the other’s shoulder.

“This is not debatable. It’s gonna happen, you want it or not.” Jackson retorted. Jinyoung knew that his hyung wasn’t going to back down on his decision, unless he appealed. So, he got to his knees and begged. Jackson shook his head in frustration.

“Look, let’s give him one more chance, okay! For the love of God, I’ll do anything, just don’t call them.”

“You’re too attached to him, you are not looking at things objectively, so I’m gonna help you change that. I won’t call his parents now, but you’ll break up with him. Leave Mark, Jinyoung, and let’s see what happens! If he tries anything crazy, we’ll know I am right.” Jackson said as he observed his dongsaeng’s eyes blink in disbelief. The rapper was sure Jinyoung wouldn’t accept that condition and if he did, his determination wouldn’t last long.

“What?! You’ve gotta be joking me!” Jinyoung got up from the floor and glared at him.

“I know, man. You’re caught between a rock and a hard place. You can keep him and save him from himself by letting me get him proper care, or you can break up with him and realize how unstable he gets, once he faces a difficult situation. I’m sure he’ll resort to drugs and blades or whatever you claim he uses to hurt himself. The truth is, when his boyfriend splits up with him, he’ll seek all of them again. You know what, you should be thanking me, Jin. Either way, you won’t be able to keep him from getting into a straightjacket. And believe me, it’s still better than a coffin.” Jackson said mercilessly. He wouldn’t let his emotions get in the way of his clarity.

“That’s what you wanted from the beginning, right? Tear us apart! What a great opportunity to get your revenge. That’s a cheapshot, Wang! You’re just jealous that he left you for me!” Jinyoung argued, extremely upset.

“And you are delusional! I’m not asking you to leave him, I truly hope you choose to get in contact with his family and together, you guys can discuss what’s better for him!” the Chinese struggled to keep his voice down. It genuinely broke his heart to see Jinyoung that way, but he had to open his eyes. Mark was not okay and the Korean refused to see that. He hated to act like that, yet, he felt he had to be the adult in that situation.

“No! You got it all wrong! He’s fine, now! He didn’t try anything for quite some time, I know he’s healing! Don’t do that to us, Seunie! How can you do that!?” the younger whined as tears formed around his eyes.

“Make your decision, man. There’s only one way to keep my mouth shut, I am not forcing you into anything. You can refuse it, and let me make that call.” Jackson looked away, unable to stare at his dongsaeng’s pleading eyes anymore.

“I’ll prove to you he’s fine.” He whispered almost inaudible.

“What’s that supposed to mean, Jinyoung?!” the rapper looked at him perplexed.

“I’ll break up with him.” He said firmly, gritting his teeth.

“Come again?” the older didn’t expect him to choose what he imagine that was the worst possible choice.

“He’s strong now, he doesn’t need me by his side to choose life. He’ll make it. I know he will.” Jinyoung knew what his decision meant, he was about to break his own heart.

“You’ll regret this!” Jackson warned him, as he opened his bedroom’s door and signaled the younger to leave. He couldn’t believe his plan backfired, yet, he hoped his dongsaeng would regret his decision tomorrow.

“You’d better keep your word, Jackson. Good night.” Jinyoung said sourly as he walked out of his hyung’s room.

It was already morning when the singer returned to the room he shared with Mark. He couldn’t sleep anymore. He stared at his lover with adoration in his eyes and at the same time he tried to come up with a reason to break up with him. He knew it couldn’t be too sudden. His boyfriend was sharp and he wouldn’t buy his act if he didn’t plan it well. Jinyoung was a good actor, he knew he could do it. He just needed to give his boyfriend a reason to let go. He didn’t have to be the one to suggest the break up, yet, he could give the American enough reasons to regret being with him.

At 7 AM Got7 was already up. They were all having breakfast, expect for Yougyeom who was moving his stuff to the MarkJin room.

“Why the hell is he bringing his belongings to our room?” Mark asked puzzled as he eyed Jinyoung, who sat beside him at the table.

“I asked him to change rooms with me. I already brought my things to the room he was sharing with Bambam.” The singer replied calmly as he sipped his coffee. Mark raised an eyebrow at him. The others on the table eyed each other uncomfortably. They wondered if they’d have to witness a lover’s spat every single morning. Jackson was the only one who had an idea of what was going on.

“You don’t want to be with me anymore? Am I such a bad roommate?” the American asked playfully, but everyone could tell he was a bit disappointed.

“We’re not in our homes, Mark. We are guests here, let’s be reasonable and keep things PG, okay?” JB commented, glad that his dongsaeng made that decision himself. He didn’t want to get used to overhear the same sexual noises he had to put up with yesterday.

“Does our host have anything to do with it? I’m sure he has, don’t you, Wang?” the American inquired as he glared at the rapper beside the leader, who frowned at the accusation. The singer sighed in frustration, but remained quiet. The last thing he wanted was for Mark to get the Chinese riled up.

“If you want my opinion, Tuan Yien, I’ll tell you. If having Jinyoung’s dick up your ass every single day keeps you from blaming me for everything that happens, I’ll willingly offer my own room to keep you guys together and satisfied.” Jackson snapped as he stood up and went to the door. “I’ll be waiting in the car.” The table went quiet for a minute, before Youngjae started speaking.

“Don’t mind him, hyung. He’s probably just jealous.” The younger tried to console an appalled Mark, who wasn’t really expecting that kind of treatment early in the morning.

“He might’ve been disrespectful, but we do know he’s entitled to his anger.” Bambam said carelessly.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Mark fumed, crossing his arms around his chest defensively.

“You do know what I mean, hyung. This whole situation is unfair! He risked his own life to save yours and you just ditched him for another guy! Do you really expect him to pretend that everything is all right?” the Thai young man replied simply as his hyung sighed dejectedly.

“You don’t know shit, Bam.” Mark said as he took a bite of his toast and tried to keep his feelings in check.

“We’re gonna be late for practice, finish your breakfasts. I’ll be waiting in the car with Jackson. You guys have 10 minutes.” Jaebeom announced a bit stressed and excused himself. Bambam soon followed him leaving the three alone at the table.

“You could’ve told me your intentions last night. I’d have understood, you know.” Mark commented as he turned to an unusually quiet Jinyoung.

“You were sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you up.” The younger replied shortly without looking at him. Jinyoung felt like throwing up as he endeavored to keep stick to his own plan. Ignoring his boyfriend was a hard task he had to master. Unable to sit at that table for too long, he got up from and went to brush his teeth.

“Is everything all right between you two? He seems a bit weird this morning.” Youngjae asked Mark, who couldn’t help but think that the odd behavior of his boyfriend had something to do with what he told him last night. He asked himself if Jinyoung saw him in a different light after he learned about the rape.

“Maybe he’s just tired. Besides, he is still bothered by what happened to that kid.” Mark lied.

“Why aren’t you? I mean, you were there, you saw it happen before your eyes. It’s like you wiped it out of your mind. You’re not even afraid of what can happen next? ” Youngjae asked out of curiosity.

“Obviously! I mean, of course that what happened at that Station shocked me, but it’s not like I was the one who pushed him. People die every day, Jae. We should get used to it. Plus, I don’t wanna worry the others, you know? We have a tour in a few days.” Mark lied again. At first, he thought that he wouldn’t be able to function again after witnessing that violent death. But now, he just didn’t care anymore. He couldn’t bring himself to even feel pity towards the family of the hacker kid, and deep down, he convinced himself that the boy deserved what he got. He wondered why the others expected him to still feel bad about the whole thing.

“Still, you shouldn’t let unresolved issues come between you two.” Youngjae advised his hyung, who looked a bit lost in thought.

“Whatever it is, you should discuss between yourselves. I’m sure you guys can do it, hyung, I’m rooting for you both.” Yougyeom interrupted the two as he finally sat at the table to have his breakfast. Mark smiled at his dongsaeng’s attempt to cheer him up. He really liked the sweetness of Got7’s maknae. Soon Jinyoung and the three of them joined the others hyungs in the car and went to work.

Practice at JYPE building was successful. Although Jinyoung could not sleep a wink, he was able to focus on each movement of their choreography. They had two concerts in Seoul before the international tour and he intended give his best performance to his fans. He was concentrated on being professional even though he was going through an enormous emotional turmoil. Getting busy at least distracted his mind a bit from the eminent break up. He talked to dancers, he monitored his and the other members’ moves, he suggested new ideas to their manager, producers, choreographers and the staff in general. JB couldn’t be more satisfied with his commitment to their work.
When Jinyoung wasn’t working out he would be at the studio practicing his singing, composing and even trying to write melodies for a future Got7 album. Back at the apartment when he wasn’t too tired from the exhausting rehearsals he would hide from Mark in the room he shared with Bambam. His Thai dongsaeng was loud and most of the time he would be on the phone or listening to music and his belongings would often be all over the place, but the singer couldn’t complain, since he was the one who separated him from the other maknae. When he couldn’t stand his foreign member anymore all he did was wear his earplugs and read a book. Occasionally, Jackson would drag him to a corner and put pressure on him to do what he had agreed to do, but Jinyoung would tell him to have patience, and assure him that he would leave Mark as soon as he found the right moment. The rapper, on the other hand, avoided any kind of interaction with the American. Most of the time he ignored his presence and even though they were under the same roof, they had almost no one to intermediate their communication. Jackson felt tempted to ask him about his past and all the horrible things he described to Jinyoung but he didn’t have enough courage to do it. They had to postpone the therapy sessions for a while, since they were too busy with the upcoming concerts, so they usually kept to themselves. Mark didn’t mind Yougyeom’s presence in his room, but the American was never much talkative and even though his dongsaeng tried to strike up a conversation, he wouldn’t show much interest in it. He missed his boyfriend and knowing that he was so far and so close made him feel lonelier than ever. Youngjae sometimes tried to distract him and introduce his hyung to some brand new games, yet, the American would tire of them too fast.
Noticing the older’s low-spiritedness, Yougyeom, JB and Youngjae teamed up to bring the Markjin couple closer and even asked Bambam to leave his room one night and let Mark and Jinyoung have some privacy. Jackson overheard their plan and told Jinyoung about it. The rapper didn’t miss the chance to remind the singer of their agreement, but the Korean insisted that he would fulfill his part of the deal and claimed that he just needed a few more days. The only problem was his inability to dodge Mark’s advances when he was locked up in a room with him.

“I miss you.” Mark declared, as he entered the JinBam’s room and closed the door behind him. He swiftly took away the book Jinyoung was reading and threw it on the floor just to sit on his lap. The sensation of having his boyfriend’s body so close to him after so long, made him almost sigh with pleasure. However, he had a goal to accomplish. For four days he had avoided any physical contact with the American and he knew that the actor in him could accomplish more than that without losing control.

“I was reading that.” he complained as he eyed the book on the floor.

“Hey, look at me, I’m more interesting than that stupid book.” Mark said excitedly as he turned his boyfriend’s face to him. Their eyes finally met and the Korean’s heart almost skipped a beat. The American beamed as he leaned in to capture his lips. However, the Korean turned his head, avoiding the contact.

“Mark, anyone could walk in on us. What about keeping things PG?” Jinyoung quoted the words of the leader, trying to ignore the dejected look on his boyfriend’s face.

“Did I do something wrong? You don’t even want to kiss me anymore.” Mark looked lost, he couldn’t understand his lover’s behavior.

“Mark, don’t be unreasonable. Of course you did nothing wrong. But you’re being clingy and we should concentrate in our upcoming performances right now.” The singer said sounding convincing enough. The American glared at him as he left his lap and stood up quickly.

“Clingy? Jinyoung you don’t even look at me lately! I tried my best not to confront you about it, but since I told you what happened to me, it’s clear that you’ve been avoiding me! What am I supposed to do?! You think I’m filthy or something?” Mark asked sorrowfully. He didn’t understand what happened to that kind Jinyoung who quietly listened to his dreadful story and promised to be there for him.

“Mark, stop doing that. If you’re going to throw a pity party, you should go to Yougyeom’s room.” Jinyoung said without flinching. His tone was cold and commanding. His lover froze on the spot.

“I’m sorry.” The American said immediately, scared to say anything else that could upset the younger. The singer felt extremely sorry for him, but he could not bring himself to comfort the older now.

“I know you’re lonely. But I have a solution to that, which will benefit us both.” The Korean informed him as he observed how his boyfriend’s eyes filled with hope. The singer hated to be the one to ruin his lover’s emotional stability.

“Let’s open our relationship.” Jinyoung examined the sudden change in his boyfriend’s features. Seconds ago he looked like he was about to cry, but now his expression was almost stoic. The younger expected the American to yell and curse at him, but that didn’t happen. He was taken aback by the question he heard next.

“Do you have your eyes on someone? There are some cute dancers who just arrived at JYPE. What do you say we share them?” Mark asked quietly as he walked around the room. He desperately wanted to save that relationship. He had no idea why Jinyoung brought that up, but he saw that as a sign of a possible near break up. He didn’t want that, he couldn’t lose Jinyoung. And he would do anything to keep them together, even if he had to accept the fact that his lover might be sleeping with someone else.

“I’m able to find my own partners, Mark. You should do the same. After all, you look more sex deprived than me. Don’t hold back, and make sure you enjoy yourself. I can assure you I will.” Jinyoung saw the American’s eyes blink rapidly. He wished he could take back those words and not see the hidden disappointment in them. Mark took a deep breath before he started talking again.

“Do you still love me?” he asked, without giving away the instant despair that crawled in his skin.

“If you really need me to answer this question to know how I really feel, then you don’t know me at all.” Jinyoung declared, as he could feel his own heart shattering. Mark approached his bed again, and bent down as he stared right into his eyes with an awkward smile playing in his lips. The American suddenly gave his boyfriend a quick peck on the lips and walked to the door.

“Remember who we are, and remember who has just kissed you.” The American said somberly and left the room. Jinyoung could only allow his tears to fall when his lover left him in company of his own grief. Those words haunted the singer. He remembered Jackson said something like that to Mark the same night letter2u forced him and the American to have their fateful first kiss. He also remembered how that night changed everything for the three of them.

When Bambam returned to the room, he found his hyung already asleep with dried tears adorning his face. As the Thai boy covered him with a blanket, he wondered for how that tragic love triangle would last. He just hoped that whenever it was over, Got7 would manage to stay alive.

Chapter Text

The two concerts in Seoul were a huge sensation, as expected. The group still had 10 days to prepare for the North American Tour. The boys were ecstatic with the fact that all seats in KSPO Dome were filled with loyal and enthusiastic Ahgases. They were even able to temporarily forget the fact that one of those adorable fans could be the one behind letter2u’s infamous acts. However, that possibility didn’t ruin their performances, on the contrary, it made all the members work even harder. On the stage, they easily reconnected and the chemistry between the members came alive again, even though 3 members weren’t interacting as usual. Got7 didn’t want to give in to their nemesis, and they had decided that together, they could accomplish anything. The band was thankful that the anonymous sasaeng seemed to give them a break, at least during the stressing and anxious period before their international tour. The only problem was that the band still had some internal issues, which couldn’t be ignored. The boys became too comfortable with the fact that MarkJinSon’s stalker hadn’t made any contact with them after what happened at Oryu-dong Station. They even wondered if the kid wasn’t really just a employee. And if he was actually letter2u, their nightmare could be over. Slowly the members became more comfortable and started to break JB’s rule of ‘doing everything together and staying together at all times’. They still slept at Jackson’s, but they didn’t restrain themselves from going out alone in disguises and with bodyguards. Things between Jinyoung and Mark still were at an impasse. The singer delayed the official break up as much as he could, but at the same time he acted like his boyfriend was a mere colleague. The American hated the way their relationship seemed to be dying, but he refused to confront the Korean about it, since he brought up the idea of a non-monogamous lifestyle. Mark didn’t want to look needy or clingy, and he thought that if he dared to complain about that non-exclusive status, the singer would fatally announce their end. He didn’t regret telling Jinyoung about the rape, he was proud of himself for being able to unravel the knot of secrets that he kept for so long entangled in his being. He wanted to be honest with his partner, yet, he was having a hard time dealing with the consequences of his frankness. In his mind, Jinyoung had two reasons to break up with him. Either the singer thought he was damaged goods, or he simply had found someone else. And that could easily happen, since the band was constantly surrounded by hundreds of people who worked for JYP. He also noticed how Jackson seemed to be too quiet those days and his mind went wild with the thought that, perhaps, the rapper and Jinyoung could be having a secret affair. He couldn’t miss the strange looks they often shared or the way they whispered to each other when they thought they were alone. JB, Youngjae, Bambam and Yougyeom did their best not to interfere with the love triangle anymore, unless it was extremely necessary.

At a particular evening, Yougyeom invited the whole group for a birthday party of a celebrity friend of his. The maknae thought that his hyungs needed an opportunity to clear their heads a bit, and take their minds off the upcoming concerts in America. Jaebeom was totally against the idea at first. Nevertheless, when Mark claimed that a party could help them relieve some stress, the leader had a change of heart. His hyung obviously looked like he needed a distraction and it wouldn’t hurt to give that to him. JB didn’t know what was going on between him and Jinyoung, but he didn’t like the way Mark seemed to be so blue lately. Jinyoung was usually the first to realize that something was not right with the American and the fact that his dongseang just didn’t seem to care nor would do anything about his boyfriend’s sorrow was appalling to the leader.

As soon as they got to the house of Yougyeom’s friend, they could tell the place packed by the amount of fancy cars parked in front of the mansion. The music was so loud that the window of their van trembled slightly. It wouldn’t take long for Yougyeom and Bambam to ditch his hyungs and mingle with the other guests.

“Bammie and I are going to find Kookie. Enjoy yourselves, bros!” the maknae announced as he abandoned the other five at the entrance.

“Kookie’s parties are legendary. I’m sure I’m gonna find other talented Kpop singers here.” Youngjae said enthusiastically. JB frowned at that, but decided to follow the sunshine inside. He had to protect his innocent dongsaeng from drunks and other bad seeds. However, before disappearing with Youngjae into the house, he gave the trio behind him a warning.

“Don’t go too far, and behave, children. Be at the van by midnight and be careful!” The leader winked at them and went inside. Jackson eyed Jinyoung nervously as the other did the same. They certainly had the same impression about that party. It seemed to be the best scenario for drugs, alcohol, and whatever that combination could lead to.

“I need a smoke!” Mark stated as he noticed the silent conversation the other two were having and pretended not to care. All he wanted was to stay away from the secretive pair. And it didn’t take too long for someone to approach him. It was a boy, younger than him, with a funny hair, beautiful features and lots of tattoos.

“You look like you’re desperately looking for a way to have fun.” The boy smiled at him sheepishly. And Mark quickly recognized that voice and the bright smile. It was Kookie’s band mate.

“Tae?!” Mark exclaimed as he regarded the youngster. The American was totally unaware that his ex observed the interaction from a corner, and his boyfriend’s eyes followed his every move.

“Can’t believe you didn’t recognize me! Did I lose my good looks? You certainly kept yours. I could tell who you were as soon as I landed my eyes on you.” the dongsaeng said as he winked at him. Mark blushed at his words. He was aware of Tae’s interest on him. Long ago, when their groups had recently debuted the boy had no intention of hiding that, but Jackson soon put an end to the constant phone calls he used to give Mark.

“You’re still the face of your group, I can assure you of that.” Mark replied shyly. It was nice to be complimented like that, he liked the way they boy’s eyes scrutinized his lips. After weeks of Jinyoung’s rejection, he finally felt wanted again.

“How’s Jackson? Still jealous?” the other almost yelled to make himself audible. The music was so loud that he had to read Mark’s lips to understand his answer.

“He’s history. He doesn’t get to tell me what to do anymore.” The American said with a flicker of satisfaction in his eyes. The dongsaeng looked glad and surprised at the same time as he arched his eyebrows.

“Wanna go to a place more private? I can barely hear you.” The younger said and received an uncertain nod from the older. Within seconds, they climbed a broaded staircase and found themselves inside an empty room of the mansion. Music and people could still be heard, but they were now totally focused on their own desires.

“So, what do we do now?” Mark asked awkwardly, as he looked all over the room, and avoided looking at Tae’s face. He didn’t know what to expect, and he didn’t care. He liked the danger of that situation.

“Was I deaf down there, or you said you’re single?” Tae asked again in disbelief as he walked to the American and touched a strand of his silky hair. Mark sighed with expectation. The boy up close was definitely very appealing to the eye. He didn’t have his sweet Jinyoung’s alluring charm or Jackson’s wild and sexy vibes, he was just very, very pretty.

“Actually, it’s an open relationship kind of thing.” The American’s words sounded sad, but Tae’s hand on his thigh seemed to lessen his burdensome thoughts. Mark was tired of feeling miserable and if his boyfriend didn’t want him anymore, he shouldn’t feel guilty for taking advantage of that open relationship.

“That’s a stupid move of your boyfriend. He’s gonna lose you within a week. Gosh, with someone like you, a guy shouldn’t be looking for anything else.” As soon as the younger said those words, Mark brought their lips together, massaging the other’s tongue inside his mouth. He could feel the growing heat in his groin as the boy’s fingers played with his nipples and with his other hand pushed Mark to the wall next to the bed. He kept kisssing the older as he carefully unzipped his pants and started touching Mark’s length. The American couldn’t help but moan with the contact. He shivered slightly when the boy kneeled in front of him, pulled his pants and boxers down and started to lick and suck him. His eyes closed as his arousal increased. He couldn’t help but picture his lovely Jinyoungie doing that to him. He shoved his dick deeper in Tae’s mouth as he thought of his boyfriend’s perfect body and sensual touches. He gripped the boy’s hair as he thrust himself deeper in the cavern of his skillful mouth. He was about to come, when the he felt the hand on his hips disappear and the warmth of the boy’s mouth abandon him.

“Sorry to interrupt, but all the others rooms were taken.” Jackson’s mocking voice filled the room, as the startled Tae got up from the floor and stood in front of Mark, hoping to cover his nudity. The American quickly pulled the blanked from the bed and wrapped around himself. His pants would feel too tight around his aching erection. He was ready to tell Jackson to fuck off when he noticed the companion at his side.

“It seems you started the party without us.” Jinyoung said coldly to the pair. He eyed Tae with contempt and dug his nails inside his palms. The singer burned with jealousy as he saw an ashamed Mark covering himself with a blanket. He tried his best to control his emotions and not take a swing at the younger.

“The more, the merrier.” A grinning Tae said casually, but Jackson was not so good at acting like Jinyoung and the glare he gave the younger as he walked up to him, almost made him choke.

“We don’t like to share.” The rapper stated sternly as he pulled the younger by his shirt, shoved him out of the room and closed it. The American didn’t try to stop the rapper, he was used to his ex’s anger outbursts. Mark only stared at Jinyoung with longing.

“Are you gonna stand there? Come to the bed.” Jinyoung told him softly, as the elder complied and sat on the bed quietly, still wrapped around a blanket.

“What did you take? Tell me what that punk gave you.” The Chinese spoke harshly as he held Mark’s chin to him and examined his eyes. The American abruptly pulled away, startled by his touch and insulted by the question.

“What makes you think that?! Tae didn’t give me anything, I’m not on drugs!” Mark protested as he turned to Jinyoung, hoping that his boyfriend would believe him. However, his lover had an unreadable look on his face.

“Then you let him blow you while you were sober.” Jinyoung’s tone was accusing. Mark felt like he had just cheated on his boyfriend.

“Jinyoungie, let’s talk. Send Jackson away and let’s talk.” Mark insisted as he held this boyfriend’s hands.

“Why send him away when the three of us could have some fun together?” Jinyoung said abruptly. And not only Mark was taken aback, Jackson grunted uncomfortably as he eyed the ceiling.

“Are you suggesting what I think you are suggesting?” Mark asked in disbelief as he made a face.

“If you don’t wanna stay, you can go back to your cute Tae downstairs. Just make sure you don’t get any STD.” Jinyoung yelled at him, unable to control his jealousy anymore. The American recognized that kind of fury, he would get that reaction from the rapper quite often when they were dating.

“If you couldn’t handle seeing me with another guy you shouldn’t have opened the damn relationship in the first place! What exactly do you want from me?!” Mark shouted back, refusing to let his boyfriend’s words hurt him any further. He didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, and he would not allow himself to be other people’s emotional punching back any longer. He didn’t like the way the singer had been deliberately acting like an asshole towards him lately and he could tell his he was hiding something from him. The American also had the impression that whatever was going on, Jackson was the cause of it.

“I don’t think I love you anymore!” Jinyoung exclaimed as he started to cry. He could barely look at Mark’s face when he said those words. Jackson almost pitied him, while the American refused to accept that obvious lie.

“Liar! What the hell is going on, Park Jinyoung, tell me! Is it letter2u who’s messing with us again?!

“I’m gonna go outside. Jinyoung, do what you have to do.” Jackson said assertively and walked to the door. Mark panicked, as he feared the dreadful break up. If he had any doubt that Jackson was behind Jinyoung’s strange behavior, now he was absolutely sure. Then Mark quickly got up from the bed, still holding a blanket around himself and grabbed the Chinese’s arm with his other hand, before he could leave the room.

“Are you going to miss the chance of sharing a bed with me once more, Ka-Yee?” Mark said sensuously as he let the blanket we was holding fall on the floor, exposing his nakedness. The American was determined to get the truth out of them in a way or another. His ex stood still for a while, and side-eyed the shocked singer on the bed.

“Do you think a person like this is in his right mind? We are dragging his crazy ass back to LA.” The Chinese scoffed, as he pulled Mark’s boxers and pants up. The American let his ex dress him without a protest, for he was too puzzled by what he had just heard.

“No, Jack, please.” Jinyoung pleaded as he got up from the bed. Mark felt an extreme urge to run to his boyfriend and hug him. He had never seen the singer so devastated, but he had to understand what was going on first.

“Why would I go back to LA?” Mark inquired, as he took a step back from his ex and waited for an answer.

“You’ve been erratic, and suicidal since letter2u happened! I know about the other attempts, Mark. Jinyoung told me about the P.E. teacher too.” Jackson’s tone was careful, but serious.

“Mark, I’m sorry! I had to! I didn’t know what to do after you told me all those things. I let my insecurities get the best of me again. I was scared and I thought he could help! He told me he wouldn’t say anything to your parents if I broke up with you. Please, don’t hate me. I love you so much!” The Korean never looked so guilty as he tentatively reached for his boyfriend’s hand. Mark had a heart-rending expression etched on his face. He couldn’t believe that someone close to him had betrayed his trust once more. He slapped the singer’s hands away as he faced the Chinese with contempt.

“Well, Jacks, if it is the rapist teacher part of the story that concerns you, rest assured that it never happened. Jinyoungie here got it all wrong! We both know you were my first in almost everything in my disgraceful fucking life! And for your information, it wasn’t letter2u who messed with my head! It was you from the beginning! The one who was my first love, my first sexual experience with a guy, the biggest disappointment, the worst mistake I’ve ever made, my first keeper and rapist!” Mark spat as he stared hard into his eyes. The Chinese held his breath for a second and sighed deeply. He closed his eyes and felt a mix of relief and pain. The truth was out, he was sure his dongsaeng had heard it. Then he finally felt the crippling fear of losing everything he had built up till that moment, especially his Korean family, his band mates, his brothers of Got7.

“What?! What did you just say?” Jinyoung wasn’t crying anymore, he was too confused to shed anymore tears. He had listened to everything that the elder had said to the rapper. However, he needed to be sure. He couldn’t bring himself to believe that Jackson had done something like that. An ominous feeling started to rise inside him. He couldn’t trust his own ears. He swiftly came between Mark and his ex. When he was about to confront Jackson about the accusation he had just heard, the American’s voice filled the room again. Hatred coated every single word that came out of his mouth.

“Don’t look so serious, Jinyoungie. Are you disappointed that he once had so much meaning in my life?! Well, don’t you despair, my love, cause you also raped me! You violated my trust! You’ve torn me open and abused of my emotional vulnerability. I gave you all of me, you took it for granted, and threw it away. And you claim to love me! I told you things I had never told a soul, because I thought I had finally found the man of my life, a soon-to-be fiancé, a future husband, who knows!? But if it’s a break up you want so much, well, now you have it.” Mark announced briskly as he moved to the door about to leave the two behind. However, Jinyoung turned him around, grabbed both his arms and shook him. Jackson had no energy to do anything else, he just stood on a corner and watched the tragedy develop before him.

“Tell me. What. He. Did. To. you.” The Korean repeated harshly, but he wasn’t screaming anymore. His eyes showed a bottomless darkness that Mark had never seen before. Suddenly the American remembered what Jinyoung said that would happen if he found himself face-to-face with Mark’s rapist. No matter how angry and drained he was, he wouldn’t let his boyfriend take any drastic measure in his name.

“Let me go.” Mark wanted to sound more threatening, but he knew he had failed miserably. He was afraid of his lover’s wrath and its consequences. Jinyoung wouldn’t let him go and Jackson didn’t look like he had any intention of stopping him.

“Did he rape you, Mark? Was he the one, in Macao? That’s why Yougyeom said you looked bruised and beaten?! I wanna hear you say it, answer me, Mark. Did he do it?” Jinyoung pointed to Jackson. His voice was dangerously low as he tightened his hold on Mark’s arm.

“You’re hurting me, let me go!” Mark insisted, not allowing himself to confirm that horrible truth to his boyfriend. Jinyoung lost his patience and roughly threw the horrified American on the bed.

“You said I raped you, and you told me your secrets. Well, then, it seems the best way to get the truth out of you now, lover. I know you’ve been yearning for my dick inside of you. Maybe that will get you to talk.” Jinyoung crawled on top of Mark and started undoing his belt. That gesture alarmed Mark and flashes of Macao started flooding his mind. He started screaming and sobbing at the same time. The singer just wanted to scare him, but he had no intention of going through with that. When he saw Mark’s panicked expression he immediately let go of him and got up from the bed. The Korean wanted to assure his boyfriend that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, but he was too dumbstruck to even move.

“No, no, no, no! Help!” Mark repeated still struggling with an invisible enemy in the bed. He closed his eyes tightly, squirming violently as he seemed to fight against the bed sheets. He sniffled and pulled at his hair as he seemed to be lost inside a nightmare. He wasn’t dreaming, but he didn’t seem to be awake either. That scene tortured Jackson. He knew who the American was seeing in that moment, he had done that to him. When the rapper couldn’t take it anymore he approached the agonizing form on the bed and touched his shoulder lightly.

“Yien, wake up, please!”

As soon as the American heard that voice he opened his unfocused eyes stood up from the bed, and aimlessly ran through the door. Jinyoung finally moved and went after him. Jackson stayed back, digesting his own guilt. He cried hard at that moment, he had never felt so doomed and disgusted at himself in his life. He had made all that hypocritical speech to Jinyoung about how Mark could be festering, but it turned out that he was the one who was rotten inside. He didn’t realize when the loud music had suddenly stopped, nor he paid any attention to the screams and gasps of the guests downstairs or the sirens of the near ambulance. He was too absorbed in his self-hatred to notice that the party had tragically come to an end. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a worried JB at the door.

“I finally found you! What are you doing in there Sseun-ah?! Hurry up, Mark fell from the stairs. It was a bad fall, there’s a lot of blood, man. We are going to follow the ambulance to the hospital.”

At the hospital, the 6 members of Got7 waited for the end of Mark’s surgery. His parents had been contacted, the company was already aware of all the facts, and so was the press. Once again, a member of the most popular boy band in Korea was fighting for his life. A possible return of the mysterious letter2u was speculated by the media, but neither JYP Entertainment nor the police had given any official statement regarding what had really happened yet. Two hours had passed and the surgeons’ still operated on Mark. With the tense atmosphere between the members, they started arguing among each other.

“I knew that birthday party was a bad idea. What I am gonna to say to JYP?! We have an overseas tour coming up, and now one of us got a head injury. Our manager is gonna be crucified! What kind of leader am I? If the company doesn’t send anyone here, I’m gonna deal with those reporters outside myself. When we got here they even asked if we had taken any drugs! Because of a stupid fall our image is in danger.”Jaebeom cursed under his breath as they all gathered in the waiting room. He was extremely worried about his hyung, but since he couldn’t bring himself to express himself subjectively in front of the others he just ocused on what he should be doing next.

“Our hyung is fighting for his life in there and all you think is about the fucking tour and how you might look bad in front of our boss? For fuck’s sake, Jaebum-ah, when did you become so fucking heartless?” Youngjae exclaimed, extremely upset with the whole situation. The leader looked at him in bewilderment. His dongsaeng usually never cursed like that. However, that wasn’t a trivial occasion.

“It’s not like you have nothing to do with JB’s indifference towards Mark. You are the one who used our hyung once to make this guy here jealous. He was already bothered by Jinyoung and Jackson’s infatuation for him. Then you purposely said you wanted a boyfriend like Mark! You made our elder look like he was seducing the whole band! What did you expect?!” Bambam pointed out, clearly on the edge.

“Look who’s talking! The one who have been bitching about how the Markson couple was so much more real than the Markjin one. You’ve been a crappy friend to Mark since he left Jackson. You’ve never accepted the fact that he’s over your Chinese buddy. I don’t see why you can’t understand that he’s found a much better boyfriend in Jinyoung hyung. At least he doesn’t beat him! ” Yougyeom protested, as he shot an accusing look at the silent rapper, whose tears never stopped falling since they arrived at the hospital. While everyone argued, he and Jinyoung didn’t utter a word.

“They had fights like any normal couple. It’s not like Mark is a damsel in distress. He’s a man, you know, and I’m sure he must have thrown some punches too. Did you see how he scratched Jacks’ face the other day? Stop making him look like a victim.” Bambam retorted. Jaebeom observed the bickering and he was aware that if no one tried to stop the arguing between the two friends, the YougBam friendship would dissolve soon. So he cleared his throat and turned to Jinyoung.

“Tell me again what happened, Jin! Are you absolutely sure that no one pushed him from those stairs?”

“I saw him enter one of the upstairs rooms with one of Kookie’s friends, so I went after them. I followed the pair into the room, we argued and he walked away from me. When he realized I was after him he started running down the stairs and he just fell.” Jinyoung said quietly as if he was able to rewind that scene over and over in his head. It was the third time he had to explain the events of that evening to the leader. He knew his friend just wanted to make sure he wasn’t in shock, the leader needed to keep him talking. That’s why he had to repeat himself all the time. Usually, in a situation like this, Jinyoung would be panicking more than anyone else in the group. However, he and the weeping rapper looked too collected. JB was certainly worried about Mark, yet, he also worried about two other members of Got7 who clearly wouldn’t be able to function without the American around.

“Jin, can I talk to you in private?” Jackson’s voice trembled as he approached his dongsaeng, who just stood up from his seat and promptly walked away from the group. The rapper took that gesture as a sign to follow him. Before he went after Jinyoung, Jaebeom tapped his shoulder lightly just to give him a wise advice.

“Don’t let him go too far, keep an eye on him. He’s not himself.”

The Chinese found his dongsaeng at the hospital’s canteen. A composed Jinyoung sat at a table as if he patiently waited for someone.

“Is this private enough for you? I feel like a priest, about to hear an unforgivable sinner.” the singer asked as he saw his grief-stricken hyung approach the table and take a seat in front of him.

“Things went out of control in that room. Serious accusations were made and I’m sure you are still waiting for an answer.” Jackson started as he could feel sweat dampening his shirt.

“His reaction was enough. I already have the answer I needed.” The Korean commented casually as he looked around them, scanning the other tables. The rapper wondered what he was looking for.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Jackson asked confused. He saw Jinyoung make a movement under the tablecloth and reveal a fork in his hand. Within a second, the Korean’s hand disappeared under the bale again.

“I brought you to this canteen so I could kill you.” The younger said, lowering his voice. There was no trace of hesitance in it. The Chinese knew that his dongsaeng was a spectacular actor, and he was aware that although the blank expression on his face didn’t seem to offer any threat, his tone was unusually hostile.

“Do you think that’s gonna change anything? Throwing away your freedom for vengeance? Going to prison because of me is stupid, and stupidity is beneath you, Park Jinyoung.” Jackson argued, trying to remain calm as he felt the fork slightly poke his inner thigh under the table.

“Don’t worry. I’ll blame letter2u for it. I don’t plan to get caught.”

Chapter Text

Silence fell between the two band mates. Jackson saw a tear slip from his dongsaeng’s eyes, but his expression remained impassive. He was completely sure the singer wouldn’t seriously harm him, but the rapper wished he would, after all, he felt like he deserved it.

“Go ahead then, if that makes you feel better.” The Chinese eyed him with worry and resignation. He regretted every single bad decision he had made. He should have never brought Mark to that brothel, he should’ve never kept quiet about it, and he shouldn’t have treated Jinyoung so unfairly. Blackmailing the younger had gotten out of hand. It wasn’t right to put so much pressure on him, but he didn’t think things through before it was too late. All along, he knew Jinyoung wouldn’t be able to let go of Mark, nor tell his parents about his condition, and seeing how the Korean was struggling with the whole situation made him feel like the cruelest person alive. The rapper believed Mark had problems, but he refused to admit, for a long time, that he himself was one of them. Jackson couldn’t deny that he had felt a cruel satisfaction when he thought about breaking up the MarkJin couple. He liked his fellow member Jinyoung, he really did, but he didn’t like Mark’s new boyfriend, and those two happened to be the same person. The Chinese still had to come to terms with the fact that the disturbing kind of love he felt for Mark was his own downfall.

“Soon. But I’m curious about something. How can you live with yourself?” the singer’s voice was low, but undoubtedly firm. The scorching ire he felt at that moment didn’t compare to any ill feeling he had ever felt before in his entire life. Right there, before him, was the man who had hurt his boyfriend so profoundly, and he knew that after obtaining that knowledge, he had to do something about it. That ‘something’ was what held him back. Was he capable of murder? He used to have a high regard for that person. Jinyoung used to admire him to point of being envious of his charisma, his talent and good looks. In many occasions, he wished he had the rapper’s unwavering confidence, boldness and sociability. It was hard to believe that his own boyfriend was over him, because the Korean felt that he would never be as good as the Chinese. Jackson Wang’s apparent almightiness was the main reason for his insecurities. He never imagined Mark’s heart would be totally his, since the American had a taste of the rapper once. Nevertheless, all those feelings were immediately deconstructed the moment he witnessed how Mark writhed in pain in front of him hours earlier.

“I get by. But I won’t last long if he dies.” Jackson confessed bluntly, as he feared the outcome of that surgery.

“I can assure you that he won’t. He’s strong enough to pull through. As for you, I’m not sure how long a doctor will take to stop the bleeding of your femoral vein.” Jinyoung raised his voice a bit, but soon smiled without any emotion as he pressed the fork into the other’s thigh again. Entertaining the idea of Mark’s death was not an option for him, but he wondered how Jackson’s death would make him feel. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted when a lady approached their table and took a seat beside Jackson.

“And how do you plan to find his artery? With a fork?” She smiled politely at the two. A startled Jinyoung frowned at her sudden question. Jackson seemed surprised, but he regarded her before the singer could say anything else.

“Dr. Lee, how come you are here?” the Chinese asked, as he got up from his chair and bowed at her.

“Do you know her?” the singer looked annoyed. He didn’t want anyone to distract him from his murderous intentions. He knew that delaying that moment was not an option since he didn’t want Mark to change his mind for him later.

“I am his and Mark’s therapist. I came to check on one of my patients that was brought to the ER. I heard the news about your friend and decided to stop by. I’m here to give Jackson all the support he needs.” She sounded very professional. The rapper seemed genuinely satisfied to see her, while Jinyoung rolled his eyes impatiently.

“Look, miss, I am very sorry, but he and I are having a private conversation here.” The singer hissed, but she just eyed him patronizingly. Jackson sighed in frustration fidgeting on his seat.

“Oh, but of course! Instead of running him over with a car, pushing him in front of a train, or giving him some sort of dangerous poison, you plan to kill him with a fork stolen from a hospital’s kitchen! Have you considered how fast you’ll be arrested and he’ll be taken to a surgery room? You’ll probably fail to gravely wound him and they’ll patch him up within minutes.” Dr. Lee said simply, without a trace of judgment in her voice. Jinyoung was flabbergasted. He was aware that she could’ve gotten all that information from his comrades’ therapy sessions, but she wasn’t supposed to openly discuss that so carelessly.

“Doctor, it’s okay. I can deal with him.” Jackson gave her an apologetic smile and that gesture made the singer even more alarmed.

“I’m afraid I cannot leave him with you. After learning what happened with Mark, who knows what he can do? This feeling so called love does strange things to an individual.” The doctor said looking at him with pity. The rapper seemed a bit uncomfortable with the topic.

“As a matter of fact, I’m really thankful to you for looking after my boyfriend’s head space, but you are his doctor, not mine. I don’t fucking care what you think. Now if you don’t mind, please leave us.” Jinyoung couldn’t contain his irritation anymore. He didn’t want to look rude, since it was the first time he met his lover’s doctor, but all that talking was making him extremely nervous.

“Fair enough, as long as you don’t blame it on my little brother. He’s not in his right mind either. And guess what, he says that love guides his hands too.” She stated calmly. The singer turned to her with quizzically and then to the Chinese, who sat back in his chair. His hyung froze for a moment, but recovered his voice instantly.

“Excuse me?!” Jackson’s quietness was gone, trying to make sense of her intriguing sentence.

“It’s not illegal for a mental health professional to break confidentiality when a client is a threat to himself or to others around him. I’ve been treating my brother for a while, and I have to admit that I have failed as a doctor. I am not able to control his psychotic episodes anymore. The drugs are not enough, but the family refuses to get him committed. It all started with his obsession with computers, then you guys came along.”

“Who is your brother? What’s this about?” Jinyoung inquired, confused.

“Letter2u.” Jackson brought a hand to his mouth, as he connected the dots, but his eyes couldn’t hide his perplexity. His dongsaeng gasped as he turned to the doctor again. She just nodded her head, still very collected.

“You cannot touch him. We are related to highly influential people. And when I say influential, I mean politicians and even the mafia. If any of you disclose the information I’m about to give you here, tomorrow JYPE can go bankrupt, your foreign members can be banned from the country and they may never be able to step foot in South Korea again. Friends and relative of yours can disappear, anyone and anything can disappear.” She assured them with a tranquility that terrified the pair.

“How do we stop him? What does he want from us?” the rapper asked as he tried to control his anxiety.

“You can’t stop him. He uses the wealth of our family to buy people everywhere. As for what he wants from you, I’m not really sure. Believe me, I wish I knew.”

“Your insane brother has made our lives a fucking living hell! Do you even know what my friends and I have been through? I’m sure you do, since you treat that asshole! Now you come here, drop a bomb like that and claim that his own family cannot control him?!” Jinyoung had already dropped his fork on the floor and had all his attention to the woman. He stood up and towered over her.

“I’m leaving Korea today. I cannot be responsible for him anymore.” She said undisturbed as she also stood up from her seat. Jackson grabbed her by the arm, trying to keep her from leaving. But at the same time, his phone buzzed inside his pocket. He thought of ignoring it, but then Jinyoung’s cellphone also vibrated. The singer immediately took it out of his jacket and looked at its screen. It was a message from Jaebeom. Mark’s surgery was over, and he was stabilized.

“It’s Mark, he’s okay! We gotta go meet the others.” The singer exclaimed, as a smile of relief played on his lips. His thoughts of homicide were clearly abandoned for a moment. Jackson also sighed relieved and let go of the woman.

“Where can we find your brother? If you won’t deal with him, we will be forced to do whatever it takes to defend ourselves.” The rapper told her seriously.

“Do your best. And as far as I know, you already know him.”

“What?!” Jinyoung wanted to go back to the waiting room and know more about his boyfriend’s condition, but that new information held him back.

“I don’t! Please stop playing games!” Jackson looked at Jinyoung and shook his head in denial. He had no idea of who letter2u could be.

“I won’t spoil the surprise. I have no doubt that he’ll kill me if I do. He almost broke my arm when I told him that the rape in Macao should be reported. I am too vulnerable when it comes to him. I do not intend to put myself in that position again. Good night, gentlemen. Give Mark my best regards. And good luck. You will need it.” She said as she walked out of the canteen, leaving the other two speechless.

As soon as she was out of sight, the pair ran to their other friends. Jinyoung and Jackson told them about the warnings of the self-possessed therapist, and now they at least knew that letter2u was a guy and that he was possibly close to the rapper. They agreed to deal with that problem after Mark was released from the hospital, but that wouldn’t happen as soon as they expected.
The next day Mark was allowed to have visitors, but he wasn’t awake yet. His parents’ arrival was delayed by a thunderstorm, which caused their flights to be cancelled. Jinyoung stayed by his side as much as he could waiting for him to finally wake up. The Korean refused to go to his apartment to take a shower, change clothes or just rest a bit. He was awake for more than 48 hours now, but he didn’t care. Only one person could stay in the room with the American, so the others went home, but promised to return to the hospital as soon as their hyung was awake. The singer couldn’t eat nor drink anything. He felt completely drained, but he was too afraid to leave the room to do anything. After a few more minutes, his prayers were answered. The moment Jinyoung saw Mark’s eyes flutter open, his heart was filled with joy.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” he asked softly, as he sat on the edge of his bed and held his hand. The other just adjusted his vision for a moment and then looked at the one beside him.

“Hi, there. Where am I? What happened?” Mark seemed confused as he looked at his surroundings, glanced at boyfriend and carefully touched the bandages around his head. The singer gently removed his hands away from the bandages and held them to his lips. The Korean noticed how Mark seemed a bit uncomfortable with that gesture.

“You are in a hospital, hon. We were in a stupid party and you fell down the stairs. But the doctors already patched you up, you’ll be fine. Your parents will be here as soon as the weather gets better in LA.” Jinyoung replied, beaming at him. He never felt so relieved to see Mark waking up. He thanked all Gods for that miraculous moment.

“Really? How clumsy I am. But I don’t remember going to a party. Where’s Jackson? Is he outside?” Mark asked expectantly as he let go of Jinyoung’s hands. The Korean frowned at the question. The doctor warned him that there was a possibility that Mark would not remember the fall, and it was normal for him to feel a bit disorientated at first, but what Jinyoung couldn’t understand was his interest in knowing Jackson’s whereabouts.

“The other members went home, but they will come back to see you now that you are awake. Do you feel any pain?” The singer asked a bit worried.

“My head aches a bit, my thoughts are a bit fuzzy.”

“I am gonna call the doctor, okay? I’ll be back soon. Don’t go anywhere.” Jinyoung said sweetly and leaned in to give him a peck on the lips. However, when he was inches away from Mark’s face, the American abruptly turned away, red as a tomato.

“What are you doing, Jin?!” he whispered as he moved on the bed trying to establish a personal space between them. Jinyoung was hurt with the rejection.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve been treating you like crap lately and I shouldn’t have done that. I know that now. But your parents will be here soon and we can tell them everything together. I’ll not leave your side Mark, I love you, I truly do and I’ll have your back. Everything can go to hell, as long as we are together. Please forgive me.” The singer almost begged as he touched Mark’s cheeks. The American looked taken aback by that information and the kind hand on his cheek.

“What are we going to tell my parents? Why are you confessing your love again? Where’s Jackson, Jinyoung? Where is my boyfriend?!” Mark meant to raise his voice but a sudden dizziness kept him from shouting.

“What?!” Jinyoung was about to say something else but as he saw how his boyfriend shut his eyes and groaned in pain he left the room in a hurry to find a nurse or a doctor. At the hospital’s corridor he found Jackson talking to Mark’s doctor and realized he had never left the hospital with the others. The rapper wore the same clothes from yesterday and the bag under his eyes indicated that he had stayed awake as much as he did. As soon as the singer told them that Mark was awake, the doctor rushed to the room and told them to wait outside.

“So, how’s he? I mean, apart from the headache and the confusion?” Jackson smiled with curiosity in his eyes.

“Alive.” Jinyoung said shortly, unable to describe what had just happened in Mark’s room.

“Come on, man. Just tell me. I know that I don’t deserve it, but please!” he sounded tired and anguished as he rested his hands on his hips.

“He was asking for you.” Jinyoung said bitterly as he looked away.

“He probably thought you had killed me after finding out…It makes sense.” The rapper sighed as he ran a hand through his messy hair.

“He called you ‘his boyfriend’.” Jinyoung whispered, almost inaudible, but Jackson heard every single word.

“He did what?!” the rapper almost yelled.

“Maybe the accident isn’t the only thing he forgot, I don’t know.”

Two hours later, all the other members of Got7 were back to the hospital. After Jinyoung expressed his concerns to the Mark’s doctor, he explained to them that a temporary memory loss could be possible in his case, but with time, the American would slowly recover and lead his life the same way he did before the accident. The doctor only warned them not to overwhelm him with unnecessary burdens.
All the members gathered in the canteen, trying to digest what the doctor had said. They all lamented Mark’s situation and they also knew that an overseas tour wouldn’t be possible at that point.

“So, he thinks Jackson is still dating him. That means he has forgotten his relationship with Jinyoung. So, my question is, is Markson back now?” Bambam’s question earned upsetting looks from his friends.

“That’s not gonna happen. He’ll remember everything soon. He is Jinyoung’s boyfriend and that will not change.” Jackson assured them, as he felt extremely uncomfortable with the way Jinyoung looked at him.

“I hope JYP doesn’t make us go on a tour without him. It wouldn’t be the same. It would be cruel to just leave him back here.” Youngjae commented as he sadly stared at the floor.

“I’m not going anywhere without Mark hyung, even if the company tells me to.” Yugyeom stated, firmly as he crossed his arms around himself and spread his long legs. His posture gave him an air of rebelliousness.

“We had several activities and concerts in Japan without Jackson and you had nothing to say about that. This time around, Mark would be the only one missing. What’s the difference? Got7 can handle being Got6 for awhile once more.” JB retorted, unable to find a better solution for them.

“Well, Jaebeom-ah, you, Bambam and Youngjae better get used to being Got3 then, because I’m not going anywhere either. And you’re delusional if you think Jackson is leaving with you guys.” Jinyoung said firmly as he eyed the rapper beside him, who just nodded at his affirmation. An alliance seemed to have formed there.

“Look, we need to find out how much he knows and help him recover. You heard the doctor, it is just temporary! Each one of us will talk to him and see how much stuff he has forgotten, okay? Just don’t bring up any displeasing subjects.” The Chinese said, as he put a hand on the singer’s shoulder. Jinyoung suddenly looked offended and pushed his hands away.

“Oh, you mean the part that you plan to lock him up in a nuthouse?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Bambam was the first to ask.

“He told me to break up with Mark, or else he would tell his parents that he’s been self-harming.” Jinyoung just didn’t mind about washing their dirty laundry in public anymore.

“Mark is doing what?!” JB looked flabbergasted as put a hand on the top of his head. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He prayed to God that his dongsaeng was just playing a joke on him, yet, he knew Jinyoung better than that. The singer wasn’t one to joke about such serious subjects.

“It’s not like that. Jinyoung, stop.” Jackson said trying to smooth things over, as he feared the outcome of those revelations. He didn’t think Got7 members were ready for the truth, not while Mark was laying in a hospital bed.

“Mark have been trying to kill himself for God knows how long! Back in America, he used to be bullied in school, so he started cutting. He was so fucked up at that time that one day he drugged himself and almost died from hanging! There was also a perverted teacher after him, so he changed schools and his parents put him in a mental facility. And guess what?! He’s suicidal again! Letter2u completely messed with his head. Our dear hyung mixed a bunch of pills with whiskey when Jackson left for Hong Kong months ago and he deliberately cut himself in my fucking kitchen! Oh, and there is more!” the singer seemed to be out of control for a moment. The exhaustion, worry, anger, frustration, fear, and sleeplessness were suddenly catching up to him at once.

“Shut up, Park Jinyoung, just shut it! I mean it. That truth is not yours to share.” Jackson said hoarsely as he held him by the lapels of his shirt and gave him a threatening look. The singer wasn’t intimidated, but stopped talking.

“How come he’s been like that all the while and we didn’t notice it! My God, we are the worst friends ever!” Youngjae exclaimed, as he eyed the other perplexed members. The dongsaeng wished he had been more careful with his hyung’s feelings. He regretted trying to seduce him when they were both drunk in his apartment and he also felt like shit for lying about losing his virginity with Jackson. The American didn’t need that kind of pain and he had contributed to it.

“Is he depressed or something? That’s why you guys were doing therapy with that Dr. Lee, A.K.A, letter2u’s sister?” Yugyeom asked the rapper, as he felt his heart clench inside his chest. He felt terrible for not being there for his hyung when he needed him. The Chinese quickly answered him, before Jinyoung could divulge his inexcusable act in Macau.

“Yes! We weren’t only trying to be able to work in a band together without fighting. He needed the therapy as much as I did. Our relationship ended on a sour note. I hurt him badly.” Jackson sighed as he looked down sadly. Bambam asked him how badly it actually was, but for that question, the rapper didn’t have an answer. He couldn’t really describe how bad it was with just words.

“Do you realize how stupid you both were for not telling us what was going on?!” JB was pacing around the canteen now, he looked irritated and betrayed at the same time.

“So let me get this straight. You blackmailed Jinyoung in order to break them up or to send Mark back to America? What were your intentions exactly, hyung?” Bambam turned to Jackson, disappointment etched on his face. The Thai boy was genuinely disturbed by what he had heard up until now. For the first time, he felt like he was rooting for the wrong side. The MarkSon couple suddenly seemed too unhealthy and he realized how childish he was being all this time. He indeed wanted his best friends to be together, but he hadn’t considered the circumstances of that. Mark was obviously trying to build something meaningful with Jinyoung and all he did was criticize him for it. He had been acting like a young child, who couldn’t accept his parents’ divorce even though the marriage wasn’t working anymore. Jinyoung was like the new partner of his divorced parent, the outsider, the man who would never properly fit in his father’s shoes. A father he now condemned.

“I probably wouldn’t have the guts to do that now. I don’t know.” Jackson replied as he brought both his hands to his face. He wasn’t sure of his intentions anymore. He wondered if deep down he would rather kick Mark out of Got7 than let him be with Jinyoung. He was aware that if Mark’s parents found out about everything, they would never let Mark come back to Korea. Perhaps, he unconsciously decided that if Mark wouldn’t be his, he wouldn’t be Jinyoung’s either. He felt that what he thought and what he felt were two different things. That duality conflicted him. For Jackson, there seemed to be a constantly battle inside of him and he wondered if his good intentions were just a façade. He wondered if getting Mark out of their lives to obtain the help he needed was just a way of punishing him and Jinyoung at the same time.

“Don’t be a hypocrite. You don’t have the upper hand here anymore. You won’t have any tools to blackmail me ever again. I know too much now, right, Wang? A secret that it is not mine to unveil. I don’t have to beg you to keep quiet about a goddamn thing. Actually, it should be the other way around.” Jinyoung gritted his teeth as he yelled at the rapper. He was so loud that other people in the canteen shot glances at their table.

“Keep your voice down, damn it. And just tell us what else we should know.” JB said in a commanding tone.

“Whatever it is, Mark will tell you when he’s ready.” Jackson stated firmly, as he waited for Jinyoung response. However, the singer just scoffed and looked away annoyed.

“Well, let me see if he’s ready then!” Jaebeom announced before he left the canteen and walked in the direction of Mark’s room.

“Aren’t we going to stop him? I mean, we heard the doctor, we shouldn’t push Mark hyung or anything like that. JB can be quite harsh sometimes.” Youngjae asked with concern in his voice.

“I trust JB will be able to tell if Mark is ready or not.” Jinyoung said darkly, as Jackson grimaced.

“It’s not some fatal disease or anything, right? I’d hate to know that he’s dying and you guys are hiding it from us.” Yugyeom commented, his voice denouncing his distress.

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing like that.” The rapper assured him.

“Judging by what I’ve just heard, it’s like he’s been dying every single day, right in front of us, and we’ve been doing nothing to save him from his bitter fate. But from now on, that will change, it has to.” Bambam said confidently as the others members Got7 silently agreed with him.

Chapter Text

Jaebeom entered the room abruptly. Got7’s manager was there sitting on a chair and typing fast on his phone while the American slept. The leader offered to stay with Mark while the manager went for a cup of coffee and the other just nodded, leaving the two band mates by themselves.

“Are you really sleeping?” Jaebeom spoke, very close to Mark’s ear. He got no reaction from the sleeping beauty. He observed how his hyung’s chest moved up and down with each breath he took. JB was thankful for that. He couldn’t help but admire his tenacity. After going through so much in the last few months, he still had enough strength in him to survive such a bad fall. It was hard for Jaebum to imagine that the elder once or twice thought about taking his own life. There was a time in which his band mate was usually carefree, cheerful, playful and undoubtedly cute, but those traits were long gone now. Since letter2u, the Korean was introduced to the darkness pit lying behind the American’s bright cinnamon eyes. He wished he knew how to help his hyung. He couldn’t picture Got7 without a Mark Tuan. He couldn’t imagine a life without one of the people who made his dream group become what they have become. As he pondered their destiny as friends and coworkers, he slowly allowed himself to let his guard down. Since there was no one looking, JB let all his emotions out. He felt a lump coming to his throat as his eyes watered. When he realized that his manager was going to take a while to come back and his hyung was completely unconscious, tears began to fall. He cried like he had never cried before since they debuted as a group. He felt useless as a leader, as a friend and as a human being. He buried his head in his hands and even when a familiar voice murmured his name, he couldn’t control his weeping anymore.

“Hey, don’t cry. What’s wrong?” Mark asked in a low tone. JB immediately lifted his head and looked at his hyung, but that simple gesture only made him cry harder.

“I’m sorry, man. I’m so fucking sorry!” the leader repeated as he grabbed the elder’s hands and held them tightly. Mark had never seen JB like that and such a sight scared him.

“What is it? Did something happen to the others? For Christ sake, tell me what’s going on.” Mark asked, alarmed. However, JB didn’t answer him and kept bawling his eyes out. The American then scooted over in the bed and signaled the inconsolable JB to lay there beside him. The leader resisted at first, but when his hyung made a cute face and patted the little empty space beside him, the Korean just went for it. While Mark caressed his hair, JB rested his head on his hyung’s chest, and listened to the roaring beats of his heart. When his crying finally stopped, he was able to talk again.

“I am embarrassing, aren’t I?” the leader asked as he tried to wipe every trace of tear that stained his face.

“Not at all. Just a bit overdramatic sometimes. Are you gonna tell me what was that crying all about? I hope it wasn’t because of me, I’m not gonna die, you know.” The American chuckled as he ruffled his dongsaeng’s hair. JB nodded at him, still a bit disheartened.

“Too much stress lately, I guess. By the way, I’m glad you made it. Everyone was worried sick, I believe that we’ve just realized how important you are in our lives. Please don’t tell the others I cried, okay? I must be strong for them.” JB asked a bit embarrassed as he lifted his head from the other’s chest and stared at him with a humbleness that the elder had never seen before.

“It wouldn’t hurt to express your feelings every now and then, after all you’re human too. They’re our family, they’d understand and support you. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or weak because of it.” Mark suggested, as he gave him a kind smile. The younger nodded at him again and returned the smile. To hear the American encourage him like that was unexpectedly comforting. Suddenly he remembered why he was in that room and what he planned to achieve.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” JB asked tentatively.

“I was in LA with Jackson for a short vacation. I have no idea how I ended up here in a Korean hospital.” The American sounded troubled as he shook his head in frustration. The leader sighed in despair, but soon managed to recollect himself. He didn’t want to make the elder more conflicted than he seemed to be. He realized that Mark’s last memory was a good one. There was no letter2u lurking around the corner at that moment, there was no blackmailing, murder or suicide attempts, no heartbreaks, and on top of that no fights within the group. For a moment, he wished he could also go back in time and take pleasure in the simple joy of being the member of an average Kpop group in Korea. He wondered if he would be able to indulge himself in that kind of semi-anonymity ever again.

“It’s okay, man. Everything that happened after that will come back to you soon. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you didn’t miss much, you know.” JB lied mercifully, trying to sound convincing.

“Are you kidding me?! I’ve just heard from our manager what exactly I have missed! Come on, we are huge, JB! We have golden albums everywhere! Jackson became some sort of national hero, we don’t share a flat anymore, cause we have our own apartments, and Got7 is the most popular Kpop band ever! We need bodyguards to walk around Seoul and we even got ourselves an officially scary sasaeng. It’s like our lives turned into a Hollywoodian movie. I woke up today and suddenly everything we’ve ever dreamed of became real. I couldn’t believe our manager, so I checked my phone and look it up on the Internet. We’ve really made it, haven’t we? I’m so proud of us.” Mark sounded bewildered. So much had happened in 7 months that he couldn’t even properly digest all that information. JB felt that he needed to carefully open his hyung’s eyes to letter2u’s lethal ways.

“Hold your horses there, cowboy. Our lives haven’t been exactly a bed of roses, you know. The side effects of fame are not so exciting and easy to deal with. This sasaeng is dangerous. You must’ve read online about the red car incident and the poisoning at the Fanmeeting, right?” JB clarified for him, without bringing up the death of the hacker kid. Mark certainly wasn’t ready to dwell on death matters. However, he would never be able to understand the American’s point of view regarding their actual situation. People around them, the papers, magazines and sites described the kind of danger the group had to go through, but it wasn’t like this amnesic Mark was there. The present Mark didn’t live or was able to relieve any of that. He couldn’t reaccess that fear or those painful memories. It was like he was dormant inside his own body for 7 months while someone else went through intense moments of his life and only now he was back from his slumber.

“Yeah, but we survived! It couldn’t have been that bad! Every famous person ends up having their own crazy fan/stalker. It happens all the time.” Mark replied, skeptical. The Korean raised an eyebrow at that comment and felt that it was necessary to provide the elder some kind of information he wouldn’t find out through his manager or the Internet.

“Well, this harmless psycho is one of the reasons you and Jackson are not together anymore.” JB stated, and he seemed to have finally hit a nerve. He immediately regretted saying that when he saw Mark’s eyes water.

“I knew something was wrong. That’s why he wasn’t here when I woke up.” The American’s voice held a mixture of pain and realization. JB swallowed hard and shook his head.

“He hasn’t left the hospital since they brought you in. However, he didn’t want to get in the way of your recovery. And by the way, when you woke up, your current boyfriend was right there with you. I’m gonna call him for you, okay? You guys certainly have a lot to catch up.” JB announced as he got up from the bed. Mark eyed him in disbelief.

“You don’t expect me to believe that Jinyoung and I are an item, right? I mean, I would never leave Jackson to be with him.” the American said, refusing to adapt to that new reality.

“You’d better not say that to Jin. It will break his heart.” JB sighed, knowing that the singer would have a hard time dealing with that amnesic Mark, who was head over heels for their Chinese member again.

“Listen, I don’t wanna see Jin, right now. Get Jackson here, I need to speak with him.” Mark insisted as his eyes pleaded with the leader. JB just nodded and walked out of the room.

After a few more minutes, Kim Yugyeom, Choi Youngjae and Bambam entered the room. The American smiled joyously. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed for not seeing Jackson with them. Each of the youngsters gave him a hug and the maknae even gave him a kiss on his cheek. He thought that was adorable.

“Sorry to keep you waiting hyung. Our manager and JB are trying to keep Jack and Jinyoung from killing Taehyung. The guy just came here to see you and our band mates flipped out on him.” Bambam informed him casually.

“Why would Tae come here?” Mark asked confused.

“You fell during Kookie’s party. We were at his mansion. I just don’t know why Jack and Jin are mad at him. I mean, it wasn’t his fault at all. He wasn’t even there when you ran down those stairs.” Yugyeom replied as he sat on the edge of his bed and the other members sat on a small sofa.

“Tae always had the hots for Mark. That’s why those two are being unreasonable. Our hyung here has always been surrounded by avid suitors.” Bambam commented nonchalantly as he smirked at the elder.

“Don’t say that.” Mark whispered shyly, his face red as a tomato. The others found that reaction amusing.

“Hey, forget about those fools. How are you doing?” Youngjae asked with concern in his voice.

“Despite forgetting the past 7 months of my life, I think I’m fine.” Mark grunted, as he looked at the ceiling, wondering when his memories would return to him.

“Don’t fret. We’ll look after you and help you remember.” Youngjae assured him in a friendly tone as he took his hand in his.

“JB told us about your last memory. But don’t worry, we can give you a whole summary of all the shit that has been going on after you returned from LA with Jacks.” Bambam suggested calmly, as the other two members gave him warning looks.

“We could fill you in about some stuff that happened within the group. Events that only Got7 knows and haven’t reached the media or JYPE yet.” Yugyeom said carefully. He was aware of his Thai friend’s bluntness, but he felt that Mark really needed to be aware of some changes.

“Why did Jackson break up with me?” The American wanted to know more than anything else he had forgotten.

“I’m afraid you broke up with him. We’re not really sure when it comes to you guys.” Bambam answered honestly, as he stared the elder in the eye.

“That’s impossible! I’d never do that. It couldn’t have been me. I love him.” Mark retorted, still unable to face that unbearable truth. The others eyed him with concern. Youngjae was forced to take action.

“JB told me that Jackson cheated on you with Jinyoung. He only told me that after I lied about sleeping with your ex. I’m really sorry about that. I only wanted to make Jaebeom jealous.” Youngjae surprised everyone in the room.

“Jackson Wang slept with Park Jinyoung?!” Bambam was flabbergasted. Mark was too taken aback to utter a single word.

“What an asshole! Besides being a boyfriend beater he’s a cheater too. Awesome!” Yugyeom exclaimed sarcastically. He wondered in which unsustainable circumstances JackJin happened, after all, those two hadn’t been too friendly lately. The maknae couldn’t help but become extremely upset with that information.

“A boyfriend beater?!” Mark was perplexed once more. The maknae did not answer that question. Bambam closed his eyes and sighed in frustration as Youngjae kept spilling his guts without a pause.

“Letter2u started all this. I mean, Jackson and Jinyoung hyung slept together long time ago and you only found out because Jinyoung was being sour about the kiss you both shared just to please that psycho.” Youngjae’s guilt made him quite talkative. He felt he needed to redeem himself somehow. He still remembered the look on the American’s face when he told him Jackson had taken his virginity.

“Oh, yes, you haven’t heard about that lunatic crazy demands.” Yugyeom commented.

“Maybe we should wait till you get released from the hospital, you know?” Bamabm suggested, genuinely worried about his hyung’s state.

“Tell me everything.” Mark whispered sadly, but determined to hear the truth. The three Got7 members eye each other and then filled him in. They just ignored the doctor’s recommendation and described to their hyung everything that happened through those difficult 7 months. Obviously, the gruesome facts, the ones which haven’t even reached their own ears were left out. Mark was still unaware about Macao, or how the MarkJinSon dynamics played out internally. When they finished their tale, Mark brought both his hands to his face and sighed deeply. A mixture of confusion, shame and regret came over him. He felt naked in front of his dongsaengs.

“I can’t believe I told Jinyoung about my middle school days. That was supposed to be private. I even avoided telling that to Jackson. You guys weren’t supposed to know that either. Those were the worst years of my life. I’m not proud of what I did or the things I allowed to happen.” The American felt that whole situation was too unreal.

“No one is judging you, hyung. Things got pretty rough lately, it was easy to get depressed over all the tension letter2u brought to our lives. It must have triggered something in you, made you vulnerable. And when those past emotions caught up to you, you probably needed someone to confide in. You probably trusted him lot. That just proves how much you love Jinyoung hyung.” Youngjae said trying to console the other, but failing at it.

“I don’t. I feel nothing for him. I just can’t!” Mark looked lost.

“I know it’s difficult for you to understand that now. Nevertheless, it’s Jackson who you don’t love. Actually, you’ve been giving us the impression that you totally loathe him.” Yugyeom insisted trying to reason with the elder.

“I was probably trying to get back at him for cheating on me with JY! Gaga would never raise his hand to me and he would never stop loving me. That’s not him! You’re all lying to me!” Mark’s tone became harsh.

“Why would we lie to you?! We are just trying to prepare you for the reality you’re going to face as soon as you leave this room. The world outside has changed, and you’ve gotta accept that sooner or later. I know it’s not fair to you, but there’s nothing we can do about it.” Bambam advised him without much tact. The others shot him a reprimanding look.

“Shut up, Bam! Shut up all of you! Get out of this room right now, all of you! I wanna be alone. Leave me the fuck alone!” Mark was shouting now in English, scaring the 3 members. Nurses, doctors and other hospital staff entered the room alarmed and soon got the boys out of there. Mark cried as he felt his headache return. But it didn’t take long for the sedative his doctor gave him to kick in.

In the evening of that day, the American’s parents arrived at the hospital. A lot of screaming could be heard from Mark’s room. They wanted to take him back to America, Mark refused and they started arguing. He had to be sedated again. His doctor advised his parents to let him see a counselor at the hospital, since their son was having a hard time coping with the memory loss. Instead of letting them stay at a hotel, Jackson brought Mark’s parents to his apartment. He spend long hours discussing with them the possibility of letting Mark stay in Korea in his care. The American’s parents trusted him, since they thought he was still dating their son. The Chinese promised them that he and the members of Got7 would look after him and help him recover all his memories. The Tuans admired Jackson’s determination and thanked him for loving their son so much.
On the other side, Mark refused to see any member of Got7 at the hospital after that episode with Bambam, Youngjae and Yugyeom. JB blamed the youngsters for talking too much, Jinyoung obviously gave them a piece of his mind and Jackson just shrugged, not really worried about what they could’ve said to Mark, since the dongsaengs didn’t really have any knowledge of the worst part of those 7 months erased from his head. The group would pay visits to the elder, but never get to enter the room he was in. In order to protect his state of mind, his doctor forbid the entrance of anyone that Mark didn’t want to see, except for his parents, who stayed in Seoul till he was finally released from the hospital. Since Mark’s sister was about to give birth, The American insisted that his parents should go back to LA and stay with her. His mother really wanted to stay by his side until he got his memories back, however, whenever she’d express her motherly concerns, his son would lash out at her. Then, after 2 weeks and a half, he was allowed to go home. His parents then trusted him to Jackson and bade farewell to their son.
The other members of Got7 didn’t know Mark was about to be discharged from the hospital and he himself had asked his manager to keep quiet about it. The only one who was aware of the news, was Jackson, who all the time, stood by the Tuans, since he could communicate with them better, both in Chinese and English. He was always the closest member to them, since he and Mark had obtained their blessing when they started dating. When Wang entered the American’s room, he could not help but hold his breath. He missed him a lot and each day his ex spent isolated in that hospital bed was pure torture for him. Hundreds of thoughts came to his mind, yet, he didn’t know what to say at first when his eyes met his. Nevertheless, he remembered he was on a mission. He took some items out of a bag and handed them to Mark, who seemed to devour him with his eyes.

“I’m gonna be your chauffer for today, put this on and let’s go. It’s a circus outside.” The rapper said hurriedly, as he himself put on a fake moustache and a hat. The American quickly understood what he was supposed to do and followed his instructions.

Wearing old men’s disguises, the rapper managed to sneak out of the hospital with Mark without being noticed by several reporters and fans camped in front of the building. They swiftly got into Jackson’s car without saying a word to each other. As the car took some distance from the hospital, the American on the passenger’s seat, removed his disguise and started talking.

“Whose idea was that?” he asked casually pointing to the gray wig, fake beard and sunglasses. He could’ve started that conversation with more pressing topics, but he chose to ignore the amount of tension growing between them.

“Mine. It worked once when I had to get you and Jinyoung out of a metro Station without drawing other people’s attention to us.” Jackson replied, without taking his eyes out of the road.

“Oh, the Oryu-dong Station. The others told me about it.” Mark looked at the window and sighed sadly, as he watched the rain pour outside.

“They shouldn’t have. They were too reckless. It was too soon.” Jackson commented, without looking at him. The rain was getting heavier by the minute and traffic congestion was impossible to avoid.

“Well, if it weren’t for them, I’d still think we are together. Why didn’t you tell my parents?” Mark said bitterly. Being so near the Chinese and pretending not to feel nothing for him was excruciating.

“They’d have taken you away. We need you here in Korea.” Jackson answered without giving much thought to it. It was just natural for him to act like the perfect son-in-law around the Tuans.

“The tour can still happen without me. I know you guys worked hard for it.” The America muttered, stealing a glance at the rapper’s strained side profile.

“We all did, Mark, including you. And no, there’s no Keep Spinning in North America without you. JYPE is aware of it. We had a meeting to discuss all these matters last week.” Jackson assured him as he turned on the radio. Coincidentally, their song ‘Page’ was playing on it. Mark couldn’t help but smile at it. It wasn’t the first time he listened to it, but being alone in a car with Jackson as the lines ‘I think I love you’ filled the car, was a unique experience. At the hospital, he had watched some lives of it online. Many Ahgases had uploaded on YouTube numerous FanCams of the boys’ performances in Seoul and thanks to those, he was able to see himself and the other members singing and dancing to their melodies of the Spinning Top: Between Security & Insecurity album. DefSoul was indeed a genius. He loved how the catchy and upbeat rhythm fit Jackson’s husky-deep voice perfectly. In his opinion that track was one of the most powerful ones Got7 had ever made. That chorus was a compelling love confession procl
aimed by the manly and sexy rapper of the group. Mark wondered if the Chinese thought of someone special while singing those lines.

“Are you seeing someone?” he asked, unable to contain his curiosity. It was hard to imagine an end to a relationship that for him had never really ended.

“No, but you are, remember? Why do you ask?” Jackson shot him an unreadable look.

“You are aware that for me, there was never a break up, and that my feelings, regardless of what happened within these 7 months, stay the same, right? It’s like Jinyoung and I never happened.” Mark stared him in the eye, waiting for his reaction. The queue of cars just piled up one after the other, till their vehicle fully stopped. There was nowhere to run from Mark and his romantic innuendos.

“For me, that vacation in LA ended a long time ago. You should forget about it too. You’d better throw these feelings away as soon as possible. It won’t be fair to Jin, or to yourself if you keep harboring them. Believe me, we are completely over Mark, and I’m sure that when you get your memories back, you’ll thank me for warning you about it.” The rapper said, as he tapped his fingers on the driving wheel. His nervousness was showing, he couldn’t help it. He knew exactly what his ex meant with those words. And he fought to ignore the explicit connotation on those lines. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t take advantage of that situation, but being in Mark’s presence again without seeing that amount of hatred in his eyes, was a dazzling temptation. He just wanted to take the American in his arms once more, smell his familiar fragrance, wrap his fingers around his slim waist, run his hands through his silky hair, kiss those delicious collarbones and finally taste his luscious lips. Mark was a drug and he was addicted to him. Suddenly Mark’s fast rapping woke him up from his trance.

“My heart and body all lean towards you, I want you only, you’re my number one, I want you only...” Mark sang his part of ‘Page’ while unfastening his seatbelt and moving to seat on Jacksons lap. The Chinese remained motionless, taken aback by that gesture. Thanks to the tinted windows of the car, no one could see what was going on inside it. Jackson swallowed hard as he felt the American’s weight on him. He yearned for that contact and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to control himself if his ex kept enticing him like that.

“Mark, for the love of God, get off. We are in the middle of a traffic jam, I don’t have time for this. Stop playing around. I, I’m serious, man.” He stammered as the other leaned on him, pressing his forehead on his. He could feel Mark’s hot breath on his cheeks, he was losing himself in his sweet cinnamon eyes. When Mark closed the distance between them and laid his lips on him, there was no turning back. All his restraints were gone and the only thing on his mind was the movement of his ex’s tongue inside his mouth. Mark’s kiss was aggressively passionate and the rapper couldn’t help but moan when the American bit his lower lip sensuously. When they let go of each other’s lips for a moment, Mark showered him with butterfly kisses. Jackson just loved them.

“I think I love you…” a surrendered Jackson confessed, mimicking the tone he used in the song. Mark beamed at him and moved to capture his lips again. The Chinese finally wrapped his arms around Mark’s wait and happily welcomed his fervorous kiss.

Chapter Text

Everything was happening too fast. Their kiss was getting needier and their touches even more desperate. When Mark’s hands moved to the other’s crotch, a phone started ringing. That moment Jackson seemed to recover his senses, so he immediately let go of Mark’s waist and avoided his ex’s wanton lips. Mark frowned at that gesture but moved forward to kiss him again, and he was rejected one more time.

“Hey, I need to get this, okay? Go back to your seat, will you?” the rapper whispered, putting a hand on the American’s chest in order to establish a safe distance between their faces. Mark sighed a bit disappointed but complied with his request.

“Your loss.” The older pouted, but obediently moved to his seat and fastened his seat belt. He observed how Jackson’s expression turned dark when he said ‘hello’ to whoever was speaking him on the phone. The rapper didn’t say much, he seemed to be just listening for long minutes whatever that person had to say.

“Okay, we’ll be there.” The Chinese said as he finished the call.

“Is something wrong?” Mark asked curiously, as he turned to him.

“Your boyfriend found out you’ve been discharged from the hospital. I wonder if he bribed a nurse or something. Man, he’s so neurotic.” Jackson commented, obviously displeased.

“Stop saying that. He’s not my boyfriend. I don’t even like him in that way, or at least I don’t remember liking him to the point of loving him. I love you, Gaga, only you! And that will never change.” Mark spoke with such a fire in his eyes that Jackson couldn’t help but tighten his hands around the driving wheel in order to keep himself from kissing him again.

“Yien, I believe that’s how you felt 7 months ago.” Jackson exhaled as he looked away.

“Don’t you love me anymore?!” the American asked impatiently.

“Of course I do! Major shit happened between us, but I still feel the same!” the rapper retorted with utter conviction.

“Then there’s no reason for us to be apart.” The elder concluded, unable to understand Jackson’s resistance.

“You don’t mean that. The real you, the one who was not absent for 7 months, couldn’t even stand being inside a car alone with me. Trust me when I tell you this, deep down, you abhor my very existence.” The Chinese’s tone was bleak.

“Why?! Because you slept with Jinyoung? Because you lied about sleeping with Youngjae? Because you left me to go to Hong Kong when I most needed you here? Or perhaps, because you supposedly beat me up during a trip to Macau?! What the hell was that about anyways?” Mark inquired impatiently as he stared hard at the Chinese.

“We’ll talk about it when we get to Jinyoung’s apartment.” He told him wearily. The rapper was afraid of answering that question. He didn’t know how that information could affect the present Mark and he would hate to see that deadly angst back in his eyes, the cinnamon eyes he loved so much.

“Does he speak for you now? As far as I know he wasn’t even at the fucking brothel, was he?!” Mark sounded mad now, he wanted to know what kind of disaster caused their irreversible break up.

“Who told you about that, huh? Yugyeom?” Jackson nervously asked, realizing that his ex was too close to find out the whole truth. He then remembered the stupid game JB made them play at JYPE practice room and how his ex himself told the group about where they went during that trip to Macau. However, not even the other members knew the whole story, except for Jinyoung, who simply guessed what happened.

“Did you really hit me?” Mark asked as he stared hard at his ex. The rapper shut his eyes tightly and then opened them again.

“Yes, I did. There’s so much more you don’t remember. Listen, Yien, Jinyoung treats you better than I ever did, I know that now. He even wanted to get engaged to you! MarkJin prevailed over Markson for real! You two belong together, I cannot, and I will not, come between you two.” Jackson tried to reason with him as his eyes brimmed with tears. Remorse hit him like a ton of bricks. He saw the disappointment in the American’s eyes when he mentioned Jinyoung again and before he could say anything else, his ex grabbed the disguise he was wearing earlier from the backseat, put it on, opened the door of the car and ran away from him. The rapper screamed his name and begged him to come back, but when other cars behind him started to honk their horns, he was forced to move his vehicle. His heart was in his mouth when he watched his beloved disappear into the heavy rain.

A distraught Mark ran aimlessly for long minutes through the streets of Seoul. He thought about seeking refuge somewhere, a place where no one would pressure him to remember how he was supposed to be, or who he was supposed to love. He didn’t want to see any of the Got7 members, especially Jinyoung. He couldn’t imagine how awkward it would be to get together with someone who he only considered as a friend. Jackson might have become abusive at some point in their relationship, but that fact alone, wasn’t enough to make him fall in love with Jinyoung. The American didn’t know what to do with his own feelings. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone for not being able to remember the things he shouldn’t have forgotten. He wasn’t sure if he would be strong enough to reject Jinyoung a second time, now that they were supposedly dating for a while. Jackson clearly still loved him, but he could notice that something went really wrong between them. Something so disturbing, that it gave him the impression that their relationship could never be fixed again. Mark wasn’t very sure if he wanted to recover such painful memories. Agoraphobic, heartbroken, depressed, suicidal... The American didn’t want to go back to any of those states. But at the same time, he knew that sooner or later he’d have to face that deeply troubled part of himself, and acknowledge that Mark who was so unfairly targeted during those 7 months.
After getting tired of randomly walking around the streets soaked to the skin, he realized he was in a familiar neighborhood. He wasn’t sure if that friend still lived there, but he still decided to pay him a visit and perhaps borrow some dry clothes. The last thing he needed now was to get a cold. He needed a temporary shelter as fast as possible. When he stood in front of the house he was looking for, he got rid of his drenched disguise, pushed the button of the intercom, said his name, and soon a voice regarded him enthusiastically. When the gate opened, two arms welcomed him into the house even though he was thoroughly wet.

“Sorry for intruding like this, I know I should’ve called before coming here, but I left my phone in the car.” Mark quickly tried to explain himself as the other just gazed at him with a gorgeous smile on his face.

“Come on, hyung. You don’t ever need to call if you really want to stop by. You’re always welcome here, you know that. I’m glad you’ve been discharged from the hospital, I was so worried! But let me get you some clothes, you’re shivering!” the other said as he went into one of the rooms and brought a towel and a change of clothes for him.

“Thanks, Tae.” The American took the clothes from him and went into the bathroom. Taehyung did not have to give him directions since Mark knew the place well. He used to stop by when both their bands were still in the beginning of their careers. While Yugyeom would hang out with Kookie, he would secretly smoke marijuana with Taehyung in the backyard. Mark was fully aware of the younger’s romantic intentions towards him, but he never dared to lead him on. Although he was amused by the way Taehyung didn’t miss a chance to hold his hand and compliment his good looks, Jackson had already claimed his heart from the start. Not only fame slowly brought the idols apart, by the time Mark and the Chinese became officially a couple, the rapper made Mark completely sever ties with him. The American thought that his boyfriend’s demand was radical, but he complied anyway. He wondered if Jackson’s jealousy had gotten worse during those 7 months. After pushing those upsetting thoughts away, Mark finished getting dressed and returned to the living room, where the Korean idol waited for him on the couch with two mugs of cappuccino on the center table.

“I thought of getting you something stronger, but since you’ve just left a hospital bed, I decided to go easy on you. This single beverage here contains traces of the most widely consumed psychoactive drug in the world and, believe me, it’s legal!” the younger chuckled as he saw the American comically raise his eyebrows over that affirmation.

“Caffeine is the perfect stimulant for now.” Mark commented as he sat beside him, grabbed his mug and took a sip of it.

“Is it good? The younger asked expectantly.

“It’s wonderful, Tae. Thanks a lot.”

“Don’t mention it. How are you feeling?” Taehyung looked a bit serious now.

“I wish people would stop asking me that.” Mark sighed in frustration as he leaned his head on the couch and looked at the ceiling.

“I tried to see you at the hospital, you know. But security was pretty tight and those band mates of yours were overly stressed out.” The Korean confessed, as he quietly admired the chiseled features of the elder.

“Hum, you mean, Jackson and Jinyoung.” Mark turned his head to him and noticed him staring. The younger didn’t tear his eyes away from him. He wanted Mark to know he was staring.

“They are so weird, those two. Your crazy personal fanclub awfully increased since the last time I saw you. Man, are you sure you broke up with Jackson? I thought he was going to kill me at that party. What about Park Jinyoung, since when he got so overprotective? He literally kicked me out of the hospital. By the way, are they really fucking?” the dongsaeng never failed to be crudely straightforward. Mark frowned, somehow alarmed.

“Who told you they’re fucking?” he inquired as he lifted his head and eyed the other with curiosity.

“Well, at the party they wanted the room for themselves even though we had gotten there first. And what a bad timing they have! Was it really necessary for the fantastic duo to walk in on us while I had your dick inside my mouth?! By the way, I still owe you a blowjob.” The younger said nonchalantly with an infallible smirk, as Mark looked genuinely spooked with all the strange information coming out of the dongsaeng’s mouth.

“I’m sorry, you were what?!” the American blushed as he pictured such an unbelievable scene inside his mind. The Korean raised an eyebrow at him, confused by the question.

“Don’t you remember? Were you high or something? I mean, you seemed okay when we started talking. And here I thought that my cock-sucking skills were unforgettable. I’m hurt, man.” The younger pouted.

“I can’t remember anything of that day.” Mark replied, concealing the fact that it was more than a mere day that was wiped out of his mind.

“Oh my God, seriously?! It was indeed a bad fall, then. Well, look at the bright side, maybe it’s all for the best. If you did remember what happened, you probably wouldn’t be here now.” The Korean sounded thoughtful, Mark sighed as he realized he was told the same thing earlier.

“What happened when they found us together?” the American was curious.

“They were acting all weird and your Chinese ex shoved me out of the room. I seriously don’t know what happened after that. I didn’t stay at the party till the end. I just heard about the fall afterwards.”

“I even mentioned to you that I broke up with Jackson?” Mark felt that he was the only one who couldn’t conceive that undeniable fact.

“You kinda did, and you seemed to be very proud of it. But then you said you were in an open relationship. I assumed that I was given the green light to make my move on you when you said that, but your band mates ruined my evening. By the way, your new guy must be quite open minded. Who’s the dumbass anyway?” Tae huffed as he wondered why Mark would ever agree with that kind of arrangement. He knew him enough to figure out that that sort of thing was totally unlike him. The American was the kind of guy who would only date one person at the time and give himself completely to that relationship. Faithfully and monogamously.

“Jinyoung.” Mark said finally, tired of denying the reality that everyone kept telling him about. He unwillingly admitted to himself that Jackson and him were over and after the break up, somehow, Jinyoung happened. The American wondered how their friendship turned into a romantic relationship. However, if they really started going out at some point, he certainly must’ve have developed strong feelings for the singer. He wouldn’t use Jinyoung just to spite Jackson.

“Oh. Therefore, there is a polyamorous thing going on. That’s why Jacks is still in the picture?” the younger looked confused for a moment, but Mark didn’t answer his question. Tae came closer to him and ran a hand through his damp hair. He smelled the subtle fragrance of the rain on it and when Mark saw his face get closer, he allowed the idol to softly nuzzle his neck. However, when Taehyung tried to capture his lips, Mark gently pushed him away, giving the other an apologetic smile. The Korean was undoubtedly a sight for sore yes and his sensual lips were constantly begging to be kissed, but the American had enough problems already. Running away from the Got7 members, avoiding his ex or his current boyfriend just to have some hot sex with another idol wasn’t on his plans.

“I think I should leave.” The American said as he put his mug on the table and stood up. Tae was about to say something when his intercom started ringing. He gave Mark a guilty look, the other just frowned at his apologetic expression.

“Sorry, man. Kookie called when you were changing in the bathroom. He asked me if you were here and I confirmed it. It turns out that Yugyeom and your other 5 buddies are looking all over for you. They thought that sasaeng letter2u could’ve kidnaped you or something. The guys were extremely worried, that’s why I told Yuggie to come get you. Please don’t hate me.” Taehyung confessed as he watched a frustrated Mark give a long, weary sigh and sit back on the sofa.

“Whatever, just buzz them in. They won’t leave until you just let them in.” Mark muttered defeated as the younger did what he was told and went outside. The American massaged his temples and stared at the floor as he waited for the noisy and bothersome complaints of his members. He only lifted his head when he heard familiar footsteps reach the living room. He froze on the spot when he was face to face with the first person he saw when he woke up in the hospital.

“It’s only me. I told the others I’d bring you home myself. Tae left for a while to give us some privacy.” The charming singer couldn’t help but display a smile of relief as he eyed the American safe and sound on that couch. When he heard from Jackson that Mark had ran away from him in the middle of a traffic jam he almost had a stroke. He wasn’t able to move for a while, imagining all the terrible things that could happen to his boyfriend. Letter2u, a tsunami of paparazzis, crazy crowds, a suicidal thought, and so on. While he harbored those frightening thoughts, which rendered him petrified, JB and the other members of Got7 started making calls to find out the elder’s possible whereabouts and thankfully, Yugyeom’s friend was able to help.

“It’s just you and I then.” Mark nodded to his dongsaeng, signaling him to take a seat beside him. Jinyoung had to summon all his strength to keep his feelings in check and not wrap his arms around him. Jinyoung missed touching him, talking to him, and simply breathing the same air as him. Yet, he promised himself he wouldn’t scare his lover away. He did not intend to overwhelm him.

“You wanted to hide from us and this is the only place you could think of?” Jinyoung asked softly, without a single trace of reproach in his tone. He finally sat on the couch, a little far from Mark, allowing the other to have his personal space intact.

“It’s the third time you kick him out. First at the party, then at the hospital and now at his own house. You shouldn’t make a habit of it. He’s a good kid.” Mark commented, not sure of what to say at first.

“If that’s what he told you, he’s a lying punk. Only Jackson got physical with him at the party and then we both did at the hospital. We couldn’t help it, we were all over the place. We all feared the outcome of your surgery.” The singer said sadly as he looked down, trying to hold back his tears, cause he didn’t want to cry in front of his beloved.

“It’s okay, Jinyoungie. I’m alive.” Mark muttered, touching his shoulder as he came closer to him on the couch. That gesture made the singer’s heart beat faster, and the sweetly way the American pronounced his name almost made him pass out.

“Thank God for that!” he exclaimed, trying not to get distracted by Mark’s left hand on his knee. They’ve always been close, even before they started dating. However, every contact with the American now burned every inch of his skin.

“We have to talk, it’s no use delaying this anymore.” The American said, sounding strangely solemn. It reminded Jinyoung of a painful memory. Mark used that same tone with him long time ago, when he rejected his love confession. It was time to brace himself for what he was about to hear.

“Go ahead. I’m listening.”

“I’m sorry I can’t remember us. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been going through since I woke up. Believe me, I tried to put myself in your shoes. I pondered how I would feel if someday Jackson woke up without any memory of our relationship. That very thought made my heart ache. But it wouldn’t be fair if he lied to me either, just because he pities me. I wouldn’t make him stay by my side unwillingly. With time, I would have to understand that the Jackson I fell in love with was gone and that both of us would have to move with our lives, separately.” Mark felt sick for saying all those things to his dongsaeng, but sooner or later, he would have to get that out of his chest. He wondered if the other Mark would be cursing at him once he resurfaced again.

“It’s okay, hyung. You don’t have to use analogies to get rid of me. I was about to break up with you at the party, anyways. You ran away from me when you realized what was going on. I guess it was fated to happen. I can live with that.” The singer stated calmly, trying his best to sound casual and indifferent to the words he had just heard. There was nothing he could do about that situation. He wouldn’t have a one-sided relationship either. He was aware that Mark’s first instinct was to break up with him, after all, the American had regressed to a period in which Jackson was the center of his universe. However, he wouldn’t allow Jackson to take advantage of the situation, not after learning about that ugly occurrence in Macao.

“I’m really sorry, Jinyoungie.” Mark said apologetically as he kissed his forehead. The singer stared deeply at his eyes for a second and looked away, unable hold his gaze for too long. The way Mark stared back at him, without that passion from months ago made his heart bleed.

“Just don’t go back to him, okay? Promise me that. Stay away from Jackson, don’t let him manipulate your feelings anymore. Watch out for his deceitfulness. He’s not the guy you once fell in love with, trust me.” Jinyoung warned him. He wished he had the courage to say that the rapper was a rapist, a criminal, who should be kicked out of the group and sent to jail. But he didn’t know what that information could do to his lover. He didn’t want to scare him away. The American had already gone missing that morning. The singer thought that if he revealed to him that shocking truth something worse could happen.

“I cannot promise you anything, Jin. You guys keep beating around the bush and never tell me what really happened. What am I supposed to think?” Mark stood up and crossed his arms, while giving the younger an accusing look. Jinyoung stood up too.

“My car is outside. We can go to his apartment now and talk about it. I mean, if you’re really up to it.” Jinyoung suggested. The singer had no intention of making Jackson confess to what he did, but he wanted to get Mark out of that house quickly.

“Okay.” The American whispered as he followed the Korean out of the house and got into the car.
Jinyoung drove quietly. The couple didn’t exchange any words inside the car. When the silence became unbearable, Mark turned the radio on and this time around, ‘The End’ was playing on it. He noticed the painful look on Jinyoung’s face and how he kept sighing without taking his eyes of the road.

“Will you please change the station?” he had an edge to his voice.

“It’s us, Got7. And you wrote this one, right?” Mark asked, and he couldn’t help but feel a deep sadness hit him. He didn’t know why, but that song made him feel like crying. Jinyoung turned off the radio and shot an unreadable glance at the American.

“Sometimes I wish I was the one without memories.” The singer complained, and said nothing else. He was the only one who remembered when he showed those lyrics to Mark. It was the same day the American told him that he wanted to be more than a friend to him. That same moment he had realized that Mark could be indeed developing feelings for him. The trip to Jackson’s apartment became silent again and even sadder.

When they arrived at Jackson’s floor, the couple noticed that the rapper’s door was unlocked and slightly open. There was no security in front of his door and that fact alarmed the singer. He had a bad feeling about it. He eyed an oblivious Mark beside him and told him to wait outside while he checked what was going on inside. The American shook his head stubbornly.

“Why the hell you look so nervous? Do you think someone broke in? If that’s the case shouldn’t we call the cops?” Mark sounded annoyed when the other asked him to lower his voice.

“Something is wrong. I don’t think we’re dealing with a robber here, baby.” A troubled Jinyoung whispered, without noticing how the word ‘baby’ easily slipped out of his mouth. Mark felt a warmth wash over him when he heard the words. But before he could say anything else, a perturbed Jackson showed up at the door and pulled them inside the apartment.

The place was a mess. Lots of furniture broken, and even the couch was turned upside down. The singer was speechless and totally unaware to the fact that Mark was holding his hand this whole time.

“You guys shouldn’t have come.” The rapper muttered as he shot an apologetic look to Mark, who looked perplexed at the state of the place. Another presence in the ruined living room caught their eyes, but only Jinyoung recognized that person.

“What is it now Jackson, did we interrupt anything? I’d hate to intrude when you’re having a wild party with one of your whores.” Jinyoung commented sarcastically as he eyed the young man up and down. The same cosplay of Mark he met at the Chinese’s place once. The rapper shot a warning look at the singer, but he seemed worried when the young man approached Mark.

“I’m glad you’ve been discharged. We finally get to meet face-to-face. It’s about time I get to find out what Wang Gae and Park Gae see in you.” The young man said smiling mischievously as he touched Mark’s cheek. Jinyoung noticed Jackson’s fearful look and pulled Mark closer to him.

“Jack, who is he?” Mark asked innocently looking confused. The rapper’s eyes watered and Jinyoung’s heart almost skipped a beat. He finally understood the situation but he was too scared to even move.

“I am your greatest fan, my dear. It breaks my heart that you cannot even remember me, but we’ll change that, I assure you. I sent you so many letters, we had countless thrilling moments together, the four of us. I’ll help you remember.” The younger man looked at Mark with such an intensity that made the American look away.

“Are you Dr. Lee’s brother?” Jinyoung finally voiced his dreadful suspicion.

“Bingo!” the young man smiled again as he clapped his hands exaggeratedly. Jackson remained silent, while Jinyoung tried to contain his shock. He hated to see his band mate so impotent, so powerless.

“I think I’ve heard that name before. She was my doctor, right? The other members told me.” Mark still tried to read the situation. He didn’t like the way his members were acting and he couldn’t help but feel left out when he was clearly the only one who didn’t know what was going on.

“They must have told you something else.” He sneered at him, his eyes never leaving the American. Mark tried to recollect all the information Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae provided him at the hospital, and suddenly a worried expression shadowed his face.

“Her brother is our sasaeng, letter2u.” Mark swallowed hard, as the young man looked proudly at him.

“You can’t even imagine how happy I am happy to finally hear my nickname coming out of your perfect mouth! Come on, you three! The others are waiting in the dinning room! I finally gathered the whole gang together!” letter2u exclaimed ecstatic, but only Jackson started following him. The young man’s expression changed when the couple didn’t move from their spot.

“Guys, please.” Jackson’s pleading voice was cut off.

“That was an order.” Letter2u said firmly, as he opened his jacket and pulled a gun on the MarkJin couple.

Chapter Text

Loving you has been hard, chaotic. Loving you always involved some kind of waiting. A neverending one. I know now that I’m strong enough to wait a bit more. Long time ago, I didn’t mind the hurt, the disappointment, or the frustration of never being loved back. Since the beginning, I knew I had no chance of getting out of this maze of anticipation unscathed. I did it to myself, I knew I was going to sacrifice my heart, I knew I couldn’t escape those feelings, I didn’t even want to. It felt dangerously maddening to have you so close and so far at the same time. You were like a huge flame burning every inch of my soul, day by day. And for you, I wouldn’t bother to slowly go up in smoke. To see you comfortably in his arms made me feel woeful, but content. I knew how great was the love you felt for him, and I just dreamed of the day you would look at me the way you  gazed at him. Miserably damned to watch your happiness from afar, without really being part of it, became a routine for me. I assumed you would never be mine and you would always be his. I got used to that despairing way of thinking. I was okay with it, believe me, after that epic rejection I convinced myself that MarkSon was endgame. I would never imagine, in my wildest dreams that fate would somehow bring us together. I could never picture that outcome, you finally leaving him for me. But that didn’t happen at once, it was painfully steady, excruciatingly undemanding. Life brutally targeted you in so many ways and I just hoped I could offer some sort of consolation or support to you. Fame put our sanities at risk, especially yours. Although you were still infatuated with him, his abusive and uncaring ways just added more to your melancholy. The media’s attention, the blackmailing, the ludicrous demands of a maniac, all that weakened your state of mind. And I just couldn’t witness that happen anymore. I could feel hope breathing down my neck when you willingly kissed me for a second time. But I also felt something else, the growing darkness taking over you, turning you into a shadow of what you used to be. And I wanted to take that ugly thing out of you, even if I had to absorb some of it too. I wanted us to share everything, the rarity of our good moments, the angst of our often bad ones. So you see, when we really got together, you were already in a very dark place, my love. And I went there with you. I surfed through the bad waves by your side. But now, so much is gone from your mind, pieces of us, our life together. You don’t remember when Jackson left for Hong Kong, and you asked me for help because you didn’t wanna die. You don’t remember when you were too scared to be alone with him and though I couldn’t figure out why, I sort of got rid of him for you. You don’t remember when you openly told me about your feelings, leaving me no choice but to break up with my past boyfriend. You don’t remember when you put your Valium away and I replaced it with some doses of JYP. You don’t remember when we made love for the first time and you told me you felt loved and in love. You don’t remember choosing me over him when letter2u made you decide between the two of us. You don’t remember when we fearlessly went together to that metro station to fight our greatest enemy. You know, for a change, I felt like I could be your superhero or something, but he showed up and stole the spotlight, just like when he saved you from that red car. But you don’t even remember that, do you? You don’t remember when you told me about your troubled past, an era as tempestuous as this one we are living. Deep down, I was afraid of all the storms you had been through, of what all those thunders could’ve done to you, but I never meant to cast you away. Even if he forced me to, I wouldn’t be able to let you go, ever. I became weak too, Mark. I thought I couldn’t be your rock anymore, I thought he could help me with you, but how wrong I was! I let his manipulative ways get the best of me. I left you to your own devices, because I was afraid you’d never love me again after everything I revealed to him and he even threatened to tell all of it to your parents! I played his game and almost lost you in the most tragic way. If you had died, I would have followed you to wherever the wings of angels or claws of demons would drag you. I’d go through heaven and hell for you, baby, I wouldn’t spend a day without your existence. I’d rather seek damnation. At last, I understand that suicide isn’t about wanting to die, or just being mentally ill, it can also be about not wanting to be alive under certain circumstances. I love you, Mark Tuan Yien and I always will. I just want you to know that I’ll always be waiting, in this life or the next.”

~ J.Y.P, July 8th, 2019

An exhilarated letter2u closed Jinyoung’s journal with a sigh after reading that entry. The item had been stolen from the singer’s apartment not long ago and the stalker had it in his possession since then. Now, after gathering the whole Got7 and having them gagged and tied to their chairs in Jackson’s dining room, the sasaeng beheld the embarrassment on Jinyoung’s face. Those thoughts were private and the singer obviously felt violated at that moment when the lunatic decided to expose his bare feelings to the other members of the group. The whole band was forced to silently witness how the trio MarkJinSon was unable to fight against the psycho who held them at gunpoint.

“Now you know how it feels to have your most intimate secrets shouted from the rooftops.” Letter2u snickered as he looked from Jinyoung to Mark. The elder was overwhelmed with the lines he had just heard. He was aware of Jinyoung’s intensity with words. After all, he was a profound compositor, always a great lyricist, but that journal entry moved him in a way he couldn’t put into words. He couldn’t imagine that so much had happened between them in such a short time. However, he felt bad for forgetting those sorrowful and meaningful memories. He felt extremely sorry for Jinyoung and somehow, for himself too.

“Are you having fun yet?” Jackson shot letter2u a death glare. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was for not realizing he had been sleeping with the enemy all this time. He felt like he could’ve stopped all that madness from the beginning. But it was too late.

“Well, not so much. But I will. We are going to play a little game now. I am aware of how Got7 loves to play games! So I want all of us to make the best of this moment. It’s called ‘Would you Rather’. You guys must’ve heard about it, but of course, little old me created a better version of the game, just to spice things up!” the maniac chuckled, as he crossed his legs and eyed the whole group with anticipation.

“We are not doing anything perverted, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Jinyoung warned him, still feeling disgusted by that Vlive in which he had to make out with Jackson in Mark’s presence and in front of a camera.

“If that was my desire, I’m afraid you would have to do it, my little peach. But my mission now is to bring Mark’s memories back. You see, I have Got7’s best interests at heart. We all want him to heal, so everyone must cooperate. Okay?” letter2u suggested as he switched off the safety lock of the gun.

“Just get on with it.” Mark spoke as anxiety filled his mind with fear. Letter2u seemed to have noticed that fact and smiled with satisfaction.

“Certainly, my love. Here are the rules, since Got4 is tied and gagged for obvious reasons, Jackson is going to untie one member of the group by each round. This member will have to choose 2 options that I give him and then, whatever that person chooses, it has to be done, all right? Any questions?” letter2u asked attentively but the 7 in front of him, just shook their heads. The trio MarkJinSon was the only one who were able to talk and move. However, they didn’t dare to say or do much.

“Why does JB have a bruise on his cheek?” Jinyoung asked, noticing now that while the other members seemed unharmed, the leader displayed a huge red mark on the left side of his face.

“You’ll have to forgive me for that, Nyoungie. When I broke into the apartment with my men, it was quite easy to subdue the youngsters, but your fierce leader does know how to put up a fight. I wouldn’t allow my guards to beat him up, so I made Jackson do it for me. He didn’t have a choice anyway.” Letter2u answered simply, as Jinyoung’s eyes travelled to Jackson, giving him an incredulous look. The Chinese just looked away. The singer then wondered what really happened before he and Mark arrived at the place.

“Is this game starting or not?” Jackson changed the subject quickly. Letter2u clapped his hands again and turned to Mark excitedly.

“Let’s start with the oldest Got7 member. Are you ready Mark?” his voice was viciously cold.

“Ready or not, I don’t think it matters to you.” The American answered quietly to himself, but everyone heard him.

“Who is going to be untied and ungagged for this first round, my love?” the sasaeng inquired in a serious tone. Mark didn’t know what to do. He was afraid of what could happen to whomever he chose to join that stupid game. The last thing he wanted was to endanger his dongsaengs’ lives.

“Yien, just say a name, quick. You don’t wanna make him mad.” The rapper suggested carefully. Mark looked nervous for a moment but then chose JB, he knew he was the strongest of the four and if something went wrong, he would find a way out of it like he always did. That was one of his leadership traits.

“Sorry Dimsun, not so fast. JB’s gotta watch some rounds first before he can participate. He’s a kind of relentless rule breaker, so let’s make a benchwarmer of him for now. I wanna make him see what’s at stake here. Choose another.” Letter2u demanded as he played with the safety lock of his gun.

“Yugyeom.” Mark whispered, choosing another member he believed that wouldn’t be easily manipulated by their captor. The American could hear some grunts from the leader, who certainly wasn’t happy with his choice. Of all the members, JB considered Kim Yugyeom to be the most naïve of them. Mark just gave him an apologetic look, as he watched Jackson untie and ungag the younger. The American expect him to scream or curse at letter2u, but the maknae didn’t resort to any rebellious or unreasonable action. He was steady. The others just feared what could happen next, before the psycho took a backpack from under the table and started talking.

“My dear child, Yuggie. Would you rather hear what Jackson has to say about his and Mark’s visit to a brothel in Macao, or would you rather have Jinyoung injected with this substance?” letter2u’s smirk only grew larger as he saw the maknae’s reaction when he pulled a syringe out of his bag and put on the table. The youngster gazed at him with pure hatred. The others looked alarmed and unconsciously Mark searched for Jinyoung’s hand under the table. He was sitting between the singer and the Chinese, while the others and letter2u were on the other side of the table.

“Don’t give in to him, kid. He’s trying to make us fight against ourselves. Just give me the shot. He has no intention to killing any of us, anyway. He can’t keep playing with us if we are dead!” Jinyoung said bravely. He was beginning to understand their captor’s strategies. He just hoped the maknae would make the right choice.

“I love to play with dead bodies.” Letter2u smirked and the look in his eyes sent shivers to the singer’s spine.

“We are not sure of what is inside that thing! It could be dangerous! Let Jackson talk! Who cares!? I won’t let him harm you, Jinyoung.” Mark was clearly frightened as he held the Korean’s arm. Jinyoung eyed him with surprise, but was distracted by the rapper’s heavy sigh.

“Come on, kid. You always wanted to know what happened in there! It’s your chance of getting the truth out of your hyung! You guys have all the right to know what has been going on under your noses. Believe me, he will tell you everything if you demand the truth from him now.” Letter2u smiled with satisfaction as Yugyeom shot a quick curious look at the Chinese and then eyed the syringe on the table.

“You can go fuck yourself. You can take this damn syringe and shove it up your ass! I don’t want to hear from my hyung anything he’s not ready to tell me. I trust him. We are a family, and we’ll remain a family till the end.” Yugyeom retorted carelessly, as the others gasped. The sasaeng remained unfazed.

“Aren’t you a cutie pie?! But listen, darling, this game only works if you make a choice, Yuggie. If you don’t, Jackson will be forced to hurt one of you. Perhaps, break some of Bambam’s fingers. Would you like that?”

“What’s in the syringe?” Jinyoung asked nervously, fearing for the Thai boy’s wellbeing.

“Truth serum. I want to make an honest man out of you, JY. I can’t have you lying to Mark or trying to keep the others from telling what’s on their minds because of your self-righteous sense of protectiveness over your boyfriend.” Letter2u got up from the table a little impatient and approached Bambam’s chair.

“Just make the choice now!” Jackson shouted harshly at the youngest, as he eyed the psycho running a hand through the Thai boy’s hair. Yugyeom looked alarmed, but when Jinyoung grabbed the syringe from the table, he knew he only meant one thing. The singer had already made that choice for him.

“I don’t know how to use this okay. I choose the syringe, but I can’t do it.” The maknae said, almost crying. He was unable to handle that pressure and JB knew that. The leader shook his head in frustration and fidgeted in his seat as he watched letter2u’s smile of satisfaction. Mark bit his lip, feeling extremely guilt. Jackson just looked mildly relieved. He wasn’t ready to hurt another member of the band.

“Well, don’t you worry about that. Mark here is a specialist with syringes. He can shoot the truth inside his lover’s vein by himself.” Letter2u commented, as he casually brought up the American’s junkie past. Mark froze on the spot. He didn’t know if he would be able to do it. He wondered if whatever was inside that syringe could kill his dongsaeng. But his thoughts were interrupted when Jinyoung determined hands put the syringe in his hand and rolled up his sleeve.

“Do it, I trust you. I always trusted you, and I always will. Just take my lead and trust me too.” The singer said firmly, as he offered his arm to the American. Those words seemed to give Mark more confidence. So he just held his dongsaeng’s arm over the table, searched for a vein and after taking a deep breath he injected the substance in Jinyoung’s arm.

“Congratulations! We finished our first round successfully.” The maniac clapped his hands satisfactorily, as he watched Jinyoung grunt in his seat and Mark’s eyes water.

“He’s going to be okay, isn’t he?” the American asked concerned as his eyes brimmed with tears. However, before letter2u could say anything, Jinyoung, turned Mark’s face to him and gave him a peck. The American was surprised at first, but soon he relaxed with the contact. He could feel the Chinese’s eyes on them, so he slowly pulled away from the singer.

“I am fine. Thanks for trusting me. I love you. No matter what happens, you have to remember that.” He faintly smiled at his hyung and waited for the drug to take over him. He could feel Mark’s arm travel to his waist and remain there protectively. Jinyoung wondered if it was just a friendly way that Mark found to support him. The singer came closer to the elder and rested his head on his shoulder, as he felt his body get lighter by the minute. That felt so natural, having the American there looking after him, it felt like home. Even the Got7 members who were tied and gagged were mesmerized by that tender interaction.

“MarkJin moments are lovely. But the show must go on.” Letter2u exclaimed, as he eyed Jackson, who promptly brought the gag back to Yugyeom’s mouth and tied his hands and legs around his chair.

“I choose to untie Bambam.” The Chinese said quickly, still afraid of what letter2u could do to him. If there was one thing he had picked up from that first round was that being tied to the chair was even more dangerous than being chosen to be untied. Letter2u just nodded at him knowingly and allowed him to ungag and untie the frightened dongsaeng.

“Dear Bammie, would you rather hear about Macao or tell Jackson what you did during a drunken night when he was passed out in a car?” letter2u seemed elated when he observed how Bambam looked extremely taken aback while listening to his options. He knew that choosing the Macao alternative wasn’t acceptable. Jinyoung even let himself be shot with an unknown drug to protect that secret and the group was counting on him to do the right thing. He guessed that there was a silent agreement between them that no matter options they were given, the Macao one was unacceptable. Letter2u just waited for one of them to give in.

“I’m telling him what happened in the car.” Bambam stated, without a tinge of doubt in his voice. That somehow displeased the sasaeng.

“You do know what a revelation like that can do to a relationship. Are you ready to face the consequences of your choice? I am aware that Mark and Jackson are your favorite hyungs. They were there with you when you had just joined JYPE. You guys are the foreigners of the group, the AMeriThaiKong trio which easily created a strong bond, faced the same kind of adversities, the only ones far away from home, relatives, friends and having to face a different language and culture. Most of the time, more than the Korean members, you are the ones who had each other’s back. Maybe it’s time you take this chance to know your Chinese hyung better, and hear from the horse’s mouth what kind of man he is.” Letter2u advised him with a malicious smile playing on his lips. However, his plans, once more, backfired. The Thai boy turned his attention to the rapper and boldly started to open his heart.

“Jack, what I’m gonna tell you happened many years ago, okay? So, don’t freak out on me. I’m not that insecure and envious kid anymore. You are my friend and nothing will change that. But the truth is, when joined JYPE I was a confused teenager at the time. I instantly felt that you and Mark had a different connection and I sort of wanted to share that with you too. I was tired of being the third wheel whenever I was around you two. Mark, as always, drew everyone’s attention to him and you weren’t immune to his charms, geez, no one was. For some reason I wanted to compete with him for your attention, I would pick an argument with him whenever I had the chance and I wanted you to take my side. But things didn’t go my way. I saw you two kissing one day and I thought that if his weapon to conquer you was his lips, I should step up my game and do the same. So one day, when you were having one of your jealousy attacks and blaming Mark for giving too much attention to the others trainees, I sneaked a bottle of soju from our manager’s room and got drunk with you inside his car. You got totally shitfaced and eventually got tired of ranting. You dozed off and that’s when I kissed you. The moment I did it, I regretted it right away. It felt wrong and pathetic. From that moment on, I realized how childish I was being and I promised myself to root for the Markson couple no matter what. I never had any romantic feelings towards you whatsoever, I swear! It was a stupid and nonsensical mistake. I’m not even gay.” When Bambam finished his tale, he got a smile of reassurance from his Chinese hyung and an understanding nod from Mark.

“How do you even know that? It was so long ago.” The Thai idol looked puzzled at their captor, wondering how that sasaeng was able to dig up that JackBam moment.

“I met a trainee long time ago. He witnessed that kiss from afar. I just had to bribe the right people to find any dirty on you guys.” Letter2u answered quickly as he turned his attention to the JackBam pair.

“You know what? I think you’re die hard Ahgase! No fan has ever spent so much money and time on us. We should be flattered. However, I almost feel sorry for you.” Jinyoung joked, a bit drowsily.

“Wang! Tie this kid up properly and bring the one Jinyoung chooses.” Letter2u fumed, as he glanced at the drugged singer, who lazily mouthed the name of his leader. The rapper finished to gag and tie Bambam up all over again and moved to Jaebeom, who stared at him coldly.

“Leader, give him hell!” a dazed Jinyoung stammered, as he couldn’t even focus on the events which were developing before him. But of one thing he was sure, he loved the smell of Mark’s intoxicating perfume invading his nostrils.

“Shut the hell up JYP! By the way Im Jaebeom, I hope you understood how this game works and don’t try to play the hero here, I’m warning you.” The sasaeng commented, a bit irritated.

“Just ask the question.” JB eyed him with contempt and waited for his options.

“Would you rather hear about Macao or tell your group what happened between you and Youngjae when you took sunshine out of that practice room in the middle of the truth and dare game?” letter2u wasn’t happy when the leader didn’t answer him.

“I sure wanna hear a juicy 2Jae story! Macao is just so depressing, man, that’s what I call a horror story. Just don’t go there. You’re gonna mess him up all over again. I don’t wanna see him struggling and fighting bed sheets anymore.” Jinyoung mumbled, as high as a kite. He wasn’t talking to anyone in particular, his inhibitions just seemed to be clearly going right out of the window.

“Shut up, Jin.” Jackson became worried about his dongsaeng’s drunk-like state and eager inclination to talk too much.

“I’m waiting, Im Jaebeom.” Letter2u stated, looking bored.

“What is it to you? What do you plan to achieve with this shit?” Don’t you have anything better to do with your life, you son of a bitch?!” JB punched the table and stood up from is chair moving in the psycho’s direction.

“JB, not this again, please. I don’t wanna fight you.” Jackson begged as he watched the leader’s determined footsteps towards the sasaeng.

“You take one more step, Jae dies.” Letter2u assured him, as he pointed the gun on his hand to Youngjae’s head. Jackson grabbed the reluctant leader by the shirt and made him go back to his seat.

“Will you please cooperate, man?” the Chinese almost begged. The other sighed nervously as he ran a hand through his hair and swallowed hard.

“I took Youngjae to the rooftop of JYPE.” JB answered quickly.

“Okay, I see you chose the second option. You guys keep testing me. Anyways, I’m still waiting to hear what happened there at the damn roof.” The annoyed sasaeng asked mercilessly.

“He was upset by the way Jackson had undressed him in front of the other guys. I tried to calm him down and I kissed him.” JB paused, clearly uncomfortable with that situation.

“That’s not all you did.” letter2u pushed.

“I kissed him so he kissed me back. Things got a bit heated between us and we gave each other a hand job.” Jaebeom lowered his voice when he revealed that last bit of information. He couldn’t help but stare at the floor dejectedly. He never felt so embarrassed in his life. He didn’t know what his members would think of him now. After pestering Mark all along for making Jinyoung and Jackson fall for him, now Jaebeom proved to be a huge hypocrite.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” letter2u clapped his hands, knowing he had broken the leader.

“We won’t hold that against you, Jaebeomie. Sometimes it takes just a kiss, to change everything.” Mark stated, not really bothered by that revelation. Jinyoung kept smiling randomly and Jackson gave the leader a reassuring look.

“Nothing’s changed!” JB protested disconcerted, avoiding the elder’s stare. He didn’t want to think about how Youngjae felt at that moment.

“Can’t believe you put cameras on the roof too!” Jackson eyed the sasaeng in disbelief. Letter2u’s disturbing smile grew even larger.

“You can stay ungaged now JB. Just choose another member. One who hasn’t been chosen yet.” Letter2u snickered, as he realized that his choices were quite limited.

“I choose Mark.” JB stated, afraid of putting Youngjae in a difficult situation and a high Jinyoung on the spot. He didn’t even want to think about Jackson. Letter2u and the Chinese seemed to be pretty close, and that made him think that his member wasn’t as trustable as he used to be.

“Well, at least Jackson won’t have to untie anyone. He must be exhausted, poor thing! Our number 1 Ahgase is making him work harder than ever.” Jinyoung commented randomly as he laughed out loud. Everyone knew that it was the drug talking, still, they couldn’t help but worry about the nonsensical singer.

“Mark, my dearest, would you rather give me or give Jackson a blowjob?” letter2u looked expectantly at him. Jackson immediately got up from his chair and voiced his anger. Mark was caught off guard with that question, he didn’t even try to answer it, when protests from Jackson and JB echoed in the room. Jinyoung could barely control his heartbeats.

        

“What about the part you said this game is supposed to help him recover his memories?! Forcing him to give blowjobs has nothing to do with your mission here, right? Are you fucking nuts?!” the rapper lashed out at the sasaeng as he clenched his fists. JB was abashed at that outcome and tried to reason with their distasteful captor. He wouldn’t allow Got7’s eldest to go through such a public humiliation.

“I believe that making him do something sexual against his will can actually help him, don’t you think, Wang?” letter2u shot back maliciously. Jackson just looked away.

“Will you please allow me to choose someone else to answer another question?” he sounded strangely polite, and that pleased the psycho.

“Since you are being so cordial, go ahead, pick someone else.” Letter2u winked at him.

“I choose Jackson.” JB stated, wondering what dirty alternatives would be given to the rapper. He just hoped it wasn’t as disgusting as the suggested blowjob.

“Well, Jack it’s about time. Answer me, dearest. Would you rather tell them about Macao or tell them in details about your one night stand with Jinyoung?” letter2u asked, observing how Mark’s woeful eyes immediately met the Chinese’s.

“I’m gonna talk about Macao.” Jackson stated firmly, as JB looked at him flabbergasted. Even the gaged and tied member fidgeted in their seat. Mark got ready for whatever  horrid secret he was about to hear.

“Don’t! They’ll send your criminal ass back to China and your family will have to pay the bullet fee. A death squad will execute you for what you did. Do you really want to face a capital punishment?! You’ll disgrace the name of your parents.” Jinyoung’s ramblings were getting even more erratic, yet, the rapper was the only one who could understand the hidden meaning behind his illogical words. Was Jinyoung actually scared for him? Obviously the rapper wouldn’t face the death penalty because of what he did, but even if Mark didn’t press charges against him, infamy would follow the Chinese for the rest of his life.

“Just tell us about the damn night! It’s not like it’s a secret anymore. You fucked Jinyoung, so what?! that’s not a freakin’ big deal. It was ages ago!” JB was clearly tired of that game and if Jackson was going to end it just like that, giving in to letter2u’s intentions, the leader promised himself to kick his ass out of Got7 later in case they survived that ordeal.

“Go ahead.” Mark sounded heartbroken. If listening to how his ex cheated on him with his current boyfriend was the best option at that moment, he just didn’t care anymore. At least he wouldn’t have to suck a dick in front of his members.

“There was a trainee involved too.” Jackson started.

“All right, you made your choice. Give us the details then.” Letter2u was loving every moment of that. It wasn’t about Macau, yet, it was another story that would certainly make the Chinese look bad in front of his members. JB frowned at that new information. He didn’t remember seeing any trainee in their dorm.

“We had a threesome.” Jackson’s voice almost failed.

“I want you to be more coherent, if that’s possible, Wang!” letter2u demanded a bit vexed.

“There was this kid who had recently joined JYPE. He was much younger than us. He had a crush on Mark and he kept following him around. I wanted to kill that kid. I started wondering what to do to get rid of him. So I told him I’d convince Mark to go on a date with him if he managed to seduce Jinyoung. Impossible task, I figured. One day Mark and I had an argument about some stupid thing and the next night Got7 won a long awaited awards. I should be over the moon with that, but Mark was ignoring me the whole night, so I got pissed. I drank like a madman and when I returned to the dorm, I entered Jinyoung’s room by mistake. There I found the stupid kid who was actually trying to seduce Jinyoung, who promptly rejected him. But before the stupid kid could leave the room in tears, I pushed him back inside and started kissing him and he let me. I threw him on Jinyoung’s bed and got on top of him. Jinyoung just watched us for a while, but then he changed his mind for some unknown reason, and joined us. When it was over I told the kid that if he didn’t stop following Mark around, I’d tell him everything that happened that night. I would tell Mark that he was a filthy whore who loved to have more than one dick up his ass. The kid left JYPE the same day.”

“Did you really take part in this Jinyoung?” JB was clearly perturbed with that whole story. Jackson’s jealousy was indeed a force to be reckoned with.

“I didn’t know he had threatened the kid. I had no idea the kid was trying to seduce me to get to Mark. I just fucked Jackson, while he fucked the kid. Everything was consensual, no strings attached. The kid thought he would get a date with Mark, Jackson thought he would get rid of the kid and I wanted to prove to Mark how much of an asshole his boyfriend was. However, in the end, Jackson and I agreed that keeping it a secret would be wiser. Mark would hate us both for what we did. Actually, now that I know the whole truth I kinda feel bad for that kid. At the end of the day, Jackson won, and that poor kid and I lost." Jinyoung lamented, trying his best to keep his eyes open.

“And neither of you remember his name, do you?” letter2u asked, as the two shook their heads.

“Oh my God, it’s you!” Mark concluded before any of the other members could say anything.

“I’m Lee Tae-U, a.k.a. letter2u. I was the one who saw Bambam kissing Jacks in that car. I’m the one who was so desperately in love with Mark to the point of joining JYPE just to be around him. I’m the one Jackson got rid of out of jealousy. So, yeah, I’ve known you guys for quite a while.”

Chapter Text

“This cannot be.” Jackson was agape, while JB was rendered speechless. None of the kpop idols in that dining room were able to tear their eyes off of Lee when he started telling his own story.

“I was a geek when I was younger, I was always good with computers, but a disaster around real people. My parents got worried about my lack of social skills, and I had the best solution for that. I had seen Mark when he made his first pre-debut appearance on a reality-survival program called ‘Who is Next: WIN’ which aired in 2013. I instantly crushed on him and I told my father I wanted to be an idol. I insisted that I needed to go to the same agency my bias was in. Then my parents made some contacts and they got me in JYPE without even an audition. It wasn’t difficult to fall for the American-born trainee who was really good at martial arts tricking. When his group debuted, he was kind enough to still listen to my fears and he convinced me that I too could debut and become an idol someday. Then Jackson Wang happened and ashamed for what I consented to happen in Jinyoung’s room, I left JYPE, promising myself that I’d get my revenge someday. I had lots of plastic surgery to at least, resemble my idol a little. People around me started complimenting me for my looks and even some school girls on the streets would mistake me for Got7’s Mark Tuan. I kept monitoring you guys, and when the shipping thing became a hot topic among the Ahgases, my obsession grew even bigger. I lost the count of how many times I watched those ridiculous MarkSon shows on After School Club. The amount of PDA was sickening! While everyone thought that the MarkSon phenomena was just the combination of a cute friendship with a lot of ‘skinship’ because the pair had a ‘great chemistry’, I was the one who was sure those two were fucking like bunnies! And how mad I had gotten at the time! So I started paying people to stalk Mark. I had a great plan to kidnap him from the JYPE building. But my sister found out, told my parents and they locked me up in my own house! They didn’t want me to tarnish the family name with delusions which could get me in jail. My fucking sister who called herself a doctor had just graduated from med school and she started prescribing all kinds of meds for me. I became a prisoner in my own house for 3 fucking years! I was a zombie, almost a vegetable. I had to use a wheelchair because I couldn’t even walk properly anymore! She kept medicating me day by day with God knows what! So, during the short intervals of sobriety, I started paying people around me to get what I wanted. Maids, the gardener, the cook, you name it. With time, everyone around my sister became my own private employees. The nurse who watched over me whenever my sister left the house stopped giving me the shit that cemented me to that fucking chair. So slowly, I became myself again. I started monitoring you guys once more, and learned that MarkJinSon had also become a thing. I had to catch up with everything I had missed through all those years without Internet or TV. Can you believe she wouldn’t let me partake of the simple joys of the world? I needed to start making my move on you guys. It was about time I put my plans in action and took back what was mine. One day my sister came back from work and found her two English bulldogs totally dismembered in her bed. I told her the next animal parts that would be found in the house would be hers if she told our parents that I had stopped taking my meds. As far as my folks are concerned, I’m completely healed from my mental disorder.My letters started coming to find you three and even the other members in different places, at unexpected times. I paid people to get cameras inside your dorm and practice room, and from that moment on, I could easily terrorize any of you. Most of your bodyguards and security were all my subjects. And believe me when I tell you all this, that car incident was not supposed to happen. I was really waiting for you across the street, Mark, I really wanted you to come find me that day, like I said in that note. But my sister thought that murdering you would put an end to the adoration I have for you. She hired someone to run you over with another red car! I had nothing to do with that gruesome homicide attempt. Unexpectedly, Wang was there to save the day! Maybe that’s the only reason I still keep him alive. That poisoning episode at the Fanmeeting wasn’t supposed to develop the way it did. How would I guess that Jackson would have an allergic reaction to the substance I put in his snack? My MarkSon heart bled when I watched Jacks’ love confession to Mark when he thought he was at the gates of death. Very touching scene! But as for that other chilling event at The Oryu-Dong station, it was all me, and that wasn’t an accident. It had to be done.” Lee stated dramatically, as he waited for the revelation to sink into his listeners.

“Let me see if I got this straight. You approach me one night looking like a Mark wannabe, you let me fuck you regularly making me believe you’re a freakin’ prostitute and now you’re telling me you are in love with my ex? And you’re seeking revenge for something stupid that happened years ago!? It just doesn’t make sense!” Jackson looked at Lee in disbelief. The American was too shocked to comment on the story. Letter2u’s fury was etched on his face.

“I don’t expect you, heartless fuck, to understand the depts of my devotion for Mark! I gave him the chance of enjoying a healthy, loving and caring relationship beside Jinyoung! I had to make him see the happiness he could achieve if he kept his distance from you. I allowed him to have a glimpse of the charming prince JY actually is, and finally perceive the evil traits of the unscrupulous beast that you are!” he screamed at him, like a madman.

“You think that terrorizing, blackmailing and stalking are healthy tokens of affection? Do you think you have any chance of sending your love across after poisoning Jacks and killing a guy in front of Mark? Are those your sick ways of showing how you care for someone? I wonder what’s your next infallible strategy to get Got7’s eldest to appreciate all you’ve done for him! I mean, are you for real?!” JB exclaimed, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the so-called ‘letter2u’ was once a trainee at JYPE. Before Lee could open his mouth to defend himself, another member of Got7 spoke for him.

“If you wanna hear my opinion, I guess he’s still better than Jackson.” Jinyoung declared, lazily. Jackson looked hurt. He never expected to hear something like that from the singer. At that moment, he finally realized he had lost his dongsaeng’s friendship forever. JB looked like he wanted to smack his friend, but contained his urge. The leader had no idea why the singer would say something as absurd as that. Mark couldn’t take anymore, so he lifted Jinyoung’s head from his shoulder and held his face to him, so he could stare at the younger’s disorientated eyes.

“Why is a psychopathic murderer above a member of Got7? Gaga is your friend too and he saved my life! Despite your feelings for me, or whatever he has done, you shouldn’t let your emotions cloud your judgment. You’re not like that! What did Jackson do to make you hate him so much?!” Mark demanded, aware that his dongsaeng wouldn’t put up a fight this time. Thanks to the drug in his system, he was too far gone to think straight. His barriers were down and he wouldn’t insist on protecting that secret at that point.

“He fucking raped you.” Jinyoung slurred before he finally blacked out on Mark’s chest. The American was too taken aback to react. The Chinese beside him gave a long sigh and the leader swiftly stole a worried glance at the younger members who were tied up. He didn’t wanna believe what he had just heard and he also didn’t want the others to believe that that accusation was true.

“Mark, it must be the drug. He’s totally out of it.” JB suggested, as he got up from his seat and moved to approach his hyung, who still held Jinyoung in his arms.

“It’s not the drug. It happened. Months ago, at a brothel in Macao.” Jackson confessed quickly, before he missed one more chance of being honest with his 6 band mates. Time stood still as JB stopped in his tracks. Grunts and incoherent sounds could be heard from the gagged youngsters. Lee smiled widely, completely satisfied with the rapper’s statement. So, he just got up from his seat, put his gun inside the bag and took a better look at the despondent scenario before him.

“And the truth will set you free! But for now, I hope you just bathe in misery. It’s about time, Wang. You’ve finally grown a pair of balls between your legs! I couldn’t be more elated! I guess we are done for today. But I’ll keep in touch! Have fun, boys! I believe you guys have a lot to talk about. Ah! And before you all think about disbanding, calling the cops or kicking someone out of Got7, I warn you not to do it. It’s 7 or never, right?! No one is allowed to quit until I say so. My game has just begun. So long, my dears.” Lee walked to a petrified Mark, kissed his cheek, ruffled the hair of a sleeping Jinyoung and waved goodbye at the others before leaving Jackson’s apartment. No one tried to stop him, but as soon as he was nowhere to be seen, the Chinese quickly started untying the other Got7 members from their chairs. He was aware of the upsetting looks he was getting from his members. He was aware of JB’s intense gaze, but he avoided the dismay in Mark’s eyes with all his might. Shame and remorse corroded his very being. Eventually he knew that the truth would come out. He figured he would be the target of his 6 brothers’ anger. He hated it, but he felt that he deserved it.

The Chinese was distracted from his distressing thoughts when he felt a fist collide to his face. It came from the last person he had untied, Got7’s maknae. And that kid knew how to put his strength in a punch.

“I knew it! Shit, I should’ve reported you! I saw Mark hyung’s state and I was sure something real bad had happened! I shouldn’t have given you the benefit of the doubt, you fucker!” Yugyeom shouted at his hyung as he tried to kick the rapper who was already on the floor, but Youngjae and Bambam held him back.

“I want you three to leave this apartment right now and take Jinyoung with you.” JB announced coldly, as the youngsters stopped to look at him. He already had the passed out singer on his shoulder, and when the three didn’t make any protest he just handed Jinyoung to them and told Youngjae to look after him. Jackson stayed on the floor, waiting for his trial. Mark remained in his chair motionless, staring at nothing.

“I want to stay, I wanna know the whole story. I’m not leaving this damn apartment before I do.” Bambam looked at Jackson on the floor, with obvious disappointment in his eyes.

“But you will. Your three hyungs need to be alone right now and you will help Yuggie and Jae to carry Jin to your car. Bring him to Youngjae’s place and you guys will stay there until he sobers up. If he doesn’t wake up in one hour, take him to a hospital.” The leader said firmly as he walked to the front door, opened it and signaled them to exit the apartment. Bambam wanted to say something else, but he knew Jinyoung needed assistance too. Youngjae nudged him to move, while he supported one of Jinyoung’s arms around his neck and the Thai boy held his hyung by his other arm. Then Yugyeom supported the singer’s legs as they reluctantly moved to the door.

“Don’t let him get away with it, I mean it.” Yugyeom told JB in a stern voice before he and the others left the apartment carrying the sleeping singer with them.

When Jaebeom closed the door, he came back to the dining room and took a seat beside Mark. He gave a deep sigh and touched his shoulder asking if he was okay. However, the elder only shook his head in denial. Jackson got up from the floor and automatically took a seat in front of his ex.

“We’ll do whatever you want to do. You can press charges, you can tell the whole world what I did, but you cannot let it pass. It can make you ill, I’ve seen it. I don’t plan to watch you drown in self-loathing anymore.” The Chinese said as he tried to reach for Mark’s trembling hands on the table, but the leader was faster.

“Don’t you touch him! You won’t ever put your hands on him again, you hear me? I mean it!” JB retorted as he slapped the rapper’s hands away from the American’s fingers and circled his arm around his chair protectively. The Chinese just nodded as he looked down in shame.

“Why did you do it?” Mark whispered in a pained voice, as his cinnamon eyes watered.

“I guess I was jealous of Jinyoung and you. I was aware that things between us weren’t the same and that made so angry! I was afraid of losing you. Scared to death with the possibility of a break up. Somehow, I wanted to force you to be mine, to stay with me. I lost control, I’m sorry. The truth is, there’s no excuse for what I’ve done.” The rapper declared, with remorse etched in his face.

“I can’t believe my own ears! You made me believe you wanted to surprise Mark in that hotel! Now I feel like an accessory to a crime! What the hell has gotten into you, man!? I thought you loved him, I wanted you guys to patch things up! I was really rooting for you both. You said you’d make things right and you fucking rape him!? That’s your brilliant idea of reconciliation?” JB exploded and he could notice how Mark flinched at the word ‘rape’.

“Whatever I say or do now, won’t change what I did, JB. Believe me, I had the best intention of making it up to him, but I had no idea of how wrong I was, or how thing would turn out.” The Chinese looked from the leader to his ex, and he knew he had no chance of redemption.

“How did I agree to go to a place like that with you?” Mark’s lips quivered as he stared into his eyes.

“I didn’t tell you where we were going. Like I said, it was a stupid surprise. I shoud’ve known you better than that. I brought you to one of the rooms on the first floor of that brothel and gifted you a beautiful prostitute. I imagined that if you fucked him, you would forget about my night with Jinyoung. We would be even, and all our problems would be fixed. However, you got angry at me, and you said things had changed after Jinyoung’s kiss, you claimed that I couldn’t make you feel a thing. And I wanted to make you feel something, so I let you feel my desperation, and did my best to assert my irascible dominance over you. Even when you begged me to stop.” Jackson answered guiltily as he heard JB’s uncomfortable gasp beside the elder.

“What about the prostitute? Did he watch us? He stayed there the whole time while you pounded my ass?” Mark managed to ask as his outraged sobs filled the room. The doleful sound of his weeping injured Jackson’s ears and continuously stabbed his heart. The rapper just nodded at him, confirming one more brutal detail of all that ordeal.

“How could you do that!? What kind of monster does that?!” JB stood up and started pacing around the room, he wished that he was having a really bad nightmare. He hoped he would wake up in his bead at some point and realize that all that horror story was nothing but a figment of his imagination.

“But yesterday you said you loved me! How do you do something like that with someone you love?!” Mark shouted at the Chinese raising hands in incomprehension as he waited for a reasonable answer from him. JB immediately stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t believe Jackson would claim to love the elder even after what he did.

“I do love you, Yien! Yet, there was no love in me when I did that to you. I know that now. I just wanted to punish you for loving me less than you used to. You were slipping from my fingers and I couldn’t control your feelings anymore. With Jinyoung in the picture, my ownership over you was in danger. I felt weak and miserable, so I let violence take over my actions.” Jackson remembered of all his therapy sessions with the cunning Dr. Lee and he wondered if, even though she was sent by her brother Tae-U, she was able to help him understand his own ravening behavior.

“How can Tae-U knows about all this shit and we don’t?” JB accused irritated. As he pitied the American, who sadly wiped his tears in shame.

“If you think I told him about this during some sort of pillow talk you are wrong! The guy is a psychopath with a lot of money and time to spend. Remember the photo of Mark and I in LA? His sister was not joking when she said he had people working for him everywhere. He may have connections in Macao too. How am I supposed to know?!” Jackson looked clueless at the other two, but no one looked as lost as Mark.

“I need to get out of here.” The American stated dejectedly as he got up and walked in the direction of the front door. JB grabbed his arm carefully.

“Please, let me go with you. You can’t be alone right now.” The leader begged, but the elder pulled his arm from his grasp and looked him in the eye.

“Once you asked me which Got7 member would be added to my collection of conquests next. Look at that, it turns out I’m not the one you should be worried about! Me, Jinyoung, Bambam…Jackson’s list is longer than mine. What about Yugyeom or Youngjae?! What kind of leader would you be if you let that happen?” Mark gave him a stern look and walked out of the door, leaving the pair speechless. However, after a few more minutes of silence, the Chinese frowned a bit confused and turned his attention to JB.

“Wait, you said that at Youngjae’s birthday. Mark shouldn’t remember any of that, right?! I mean, he said his last memory was of our vacation in LA. Do you think he might be recovering some of his memories?” Jackson looked alarmed at the leader.

“Or perhaps, he never lost any of them. Dear lord, what a day! I don’t know what to expect of Got7 members anymore. And I guess all 6 of you are thinking the same about me. We are royally fucked.” JB exhaled, extremely worn out as he sat on the edge of the table near the Chinese.

“Aren’t you going to lash out at me, punch me in the face or drag my ass to prison?” Jackson inquired, wondering why the leader hadn’t threatened his life after hearing what he had heard that day.

“What do you want me to do? Tae-U forbid me to kick you out, and he has enough footage to end all of our careers. MarkSon, 2Jae, MarkJin, and JinSon moments would go viral the moment I crossed him. Taking you to the cops would seal our fucking destiny. And who am I to blame you? Damn, Maybe I am as cruel as you are. After what happened at the rooftop with Youngjae, I told him to forget about it. I know it was impossible for him to pretend it never happened, it would be the same for me too. But I shouldn’t let it happen in the first place. I feel like I used him for my own pleasure and discarded the poor kid. Even knowing he had feelings for me.” JB sighed, not able to give Jackson the sermon he planned to give him after the other members left.

“Don’t you feel anything for him?” Jackson frowned at his band mate words. He could swear Jaebeom was not being sincere with his own feelings.

“I’m not gay, Jack!” the other retorted irritated.

“That wasn’t my question. I saw your reaction once Youngjae claimed he wanted a boyfriend as nice as Mark and you assumed he had a thing for him! Everyone was surprised by your outburst at the practice room during that truth or dare game. You couldn’t bear to watch me unbuttoning his shirt. That should mean something, right?!”

“That maybe I am an obsessive, controlling, jealous fuck as you are?!” the leader eyed him offended.

“At least you are not a rapist. Your conscience is clear. But you need to sort out your feelings for him.” Jackson advised with care, as he wondered if Got7 would ever be the same after letter2u’s revelations.

“He’s like a little brother to me and he always will be.” JB’s voice almost failed as he still denied the truth.

“I’m glad you are an only child then, cause if you really think that giving younger brothers handjobs is a fraternal thing to do, man, I believe you’d be in trouble. Perhaps, we would be cellmates at some point.” Jackson said sarcastically as he saw Jaebeom’s face darken.

“They will never forgive you, you know. Neither will I.” JB stated as he stared at his band mate’s eyes. Jaebeom was unable to completely judge the Chinese after what happened between him and Youngjae, but the other members had nothing to feel guilty for.

“I know.” Jackson admitted sadly.

“What about Bambam? Do you think he only sees you as a friend, like he said?” JB wondered what kind of miracle would make Got7 stay together. He had never seen Yugyeom’s eyes so cold or Bambam so crestfallen.

“Absolutely. However, now I’m not so sure if he will want to remain friends with someone like me.” Jackson’s insecurity increased by each second. He had no idea if he had a future in Got7 anymore.

“I’m not fit to be a leader anymore.” The Korean confessed as he crossed his arms around his chest.

“Well, I’m not fit to be a Got7 member either. But I guess we gotta see what happens, right?”

“Maybe I should let Jinyoung take the lead for a while.” JB huffed, running a hand through his hair.

“Maybe I should take off to Hong Kong.” Jackson said nonchalantly.

“You can’t run away now.” JB raised his voice at him.

“Neither can you. We both have our duties in the group, I won’t let you give up your position as a leader, and you cannot let me take the easy way out. I shall stay here in Korea and face all the consequences of my act.”

“I’m sure Tae-U won’t make things easier for you.” The leader’s voice was laced with worry.

“Well, it won’t be easy for Mark to work beside the guy who violated him, either. In fact, it must’ve been traumatic for him, all these months, hurting and hiding it from everyone. Suffering alone.”

“My heart shatters every time you say that so casually.” JB looked away, hating himself for not noticing what was really going on with the American. He blamed himself for not having a solution for any of their problems.

“Sorry. The more I remind myself of what I did, the more I’ll be able to accept what is coming.” Jackson sounded resigned, ready to face whatever punishment letter2u, his friends, and his ex had in store for him.

Suddenly the sound of JB’s cellphone distracted the two. The leader had even forgotten he had the device inside his pocket all this time. He reminded himself he had to call the youngsters and ask about Jinyoung’s state, but when he took the phone out of his jeans and read the message of his manager on the screen, his heart skipped a beat. The rapper looked expectantly at him.

“What is it now?”

“Bambam and Yugyeom. They wanna quit Got7.” JB immediately called Youngjae, while Jackson tried to get a hold of the dongsaengs through his own phone. Luckily, at least JB was able to reach the one he called.

“Jae, what’s going on? Shouldn’t you four be together? Where are the others? Is Jinyoung awake?”

“Yeah, he’s in the shower. He’s kinda confused, but he’s sobered up. The others are not happy, and I couldn’t get them to change their minds. I tried to remind the two of what letter2u said, but they just don’t wanna be in the group anymore. They said they refused to be around Jackson. They took off before I could try to beat some sense into them. They might’ve gone to the company. I’m sorry.”

“Look, I’m gonna fix this, okay. Just stay there with Jin. Don’t leave him alone. I also gotta find Mark too.”

“Wasn’t he with you? JB tell me he’s all right.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll not let anything happen to him. Lock your doors and windows. We don’t know about Lee’s next attack. Be safe and look after Jin, okay?”

“Okay. Bye.”

As soon as Youngjae hung up, Jinyoung appeared beside him. He had borrowed some clothes from his dongsaeng and looked much more clearheaded.

“Was it JB on the phone? Where are the others?” he asked the younger.

“Bam and Yuggie left. They wanna quit Got7, JB went after them. It seems they lost Mark too.”

“They what?! I thought you said that after letter2u left, Jaebeom, Mark and Jackson stayed at the apartment. Why the hell is Mark not with them?” the singer asked nervously as he looked around for his shoes.

“He didn’t explain it to me. We shouldn’t go out. JB told me to keep an eye on you. Where are you going?!” Youngjae exclaimed as he watched his hyung put on his shoes and move to the door.

“I gotta find Mark. And then, I’ll meet the others at JYPE or whatever the hell they might be.” Jinyoung answered in a hurry and as he opened the door, he was face-to-face with the one he was about to seek out. There was something different in his cinnamon eyes, Jinyoung immediately noticed that. Mark stared back at him intensely and slowly lifted his arm, showing his hand to the singer. In one of his fingers was the engagement ring he once gave the American and was rejected.

Chapter Text

“I went to my apartment and found this under my bed. It was incredible how such a tiny thing could trigger so many memories. At first, when I was with JB and Jackson earlier, only small fragments of these past 7 months flashed through my mind. But then I went home, I saw your ring, and everything fell into place. I’m back Jinyoungie, it’s me, your Markie, I’m me again!” Mark exclaimed as he locked his lips with his lover. He was in heaven as he felt Jinyoung eagerly respond to the kiss. Only now he realized how he missed his tongue inside his mouth. He broke the kiss just to wrap his arms around the singer, who couldn’t help but hug him back. The Korean thought his heart would explode when he felt the American’s limbs embrace him. And the familiarity of his touch ignited a rapturous flame inside him. Love at its purest form. He nuzzled his neck, smelled his hair, and caressed the other’s back continuously. They stayed like that for an eternity. Till Youngjae cleared his throat and started talking.

“I’m glad you’re back, hyung. But Got7 is about to end. So I suggest we all go to JYPE right now and stop YugBam from ruining our 5 years of hard work.” Youngjae commented as he smiled at the happy couple. Mark reluctantly let go of Jinyoung and regarded the dongsaeng, kissing his forehead.

“Why? What did they do?” Mark asked, as his smile threatened to fade.

“Nothing we cannot undo. They’ll be ecstatic when they see you like this! Let’s go!” Jinyoung hurried them out of the apartment and the three went to find the other members at the company.

In 20 minutes Got3 was at the company building. Their manager promptly brought them to a meeting room where JYP himself and the other members were discussing a possible breach of contract. When the doors opened and the trio entered the room followed by their manager, everyone turned their eyes to Mark, who quickly walked to their boss and bowed to him.

“Please, sir, accept my deepest apologies. As the eldest member of Got7 I am responsible for my dongsaengs’ irresponsible actions. I urge you to dismiss any complaints they may have voiced to you. There is no chance of a disbandment of the group. We’ll remain together as 7. I also would like to inform you that I am fully recovered and I’d like to return to my scheduled activities with my members. It’s about time we start our international tour. As a matter of fact, I am anxious to be on a stage with my brothers and meet our fans again.” Mark stated politely, as he winked at Bambam and Youngjae, who found that situation completely awkward. Neither Jaebeom nor Jackson knew how to react to that, they were too shocked to say anything. The leader eyed Jinyoung beside Mark and noticed how the singer seemed satisfied with the scene. Youngjae smiled brightly, despite of what had happened hours later at Jackson’s apartment. JB wondered if Mark’s memories were all back.

JYP patted Mark’s back and nodded at him.

“You’d better step up your game, Lim Jaebeom-ah. This one might take the leader position from you. Get ready, boys, tomorrow you’ll be flying to New Jersey for the rehearsals. We’ll announce the new dates of the concerts and pray that everything goes well for a change. I’m looking forward to seeing you kids take over the world with your music. Between security and insecurity, just keep spinning! Got7 fighting!” JYP declared before he left the room with their manager behind him.

“Mark hyung...” JB started, but the American cut him off.

“Yes, I remember everything. Now we should start packing, you heard the man.” The American announced as he searched Jinyoung’s hands and interlocked his fingers with him. Everyone’s eyes observed that lovingly gesture and suddenly realization hit them, the MarkJin couple was back together. Yugyeom immediately got up from his seat and came to hug his two hyungs and even congratulated them. JB, Jackson and Bambam remained in their seats.

“How can you be so relaxed!? Believe me, I’m happy you fully recovered your memories, but what we’re gonna do about Lee Tae-U? And Jackson?!” Bambam raised his voice, not seeing any reason to celebrate that small victory. Mark was back, but his terrible memories returned as well. The Thai boy feared that. Would his hyung start self-harming again and become suicidal? He wasn’t sure if remembering was indeed a good thing. And a tour right now wouldn’t erase any of their problems. He wanted to get up and give Mark a hug too, but he knew he would start crying if he did. He hated to cry in front of people, he didn’t want to look like a cry baby in front of his hyungs.

“Jackson stays in Got7. It’s 7 or never, remember?” Mark stole a quick glance to the miserably quiet Chinese and turned to his dongsaengs again.

“A tour might be exactly what we need right now to take our minds off things. There’s nothing we can do about letter2u and I’m sure he’d love to see us performing again. As Jinyoung hyung said, he’s our number 1 Ahgase.” Youngjae stated, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Jesus Christ, did I say that? I must have been really out of my mind.” He shook his head in disbelief. What happened in Jackson’s apartment was still a bit fuzzy for him. He had to found out from Youngjae that he was the one who revealed Jackson’s secret.

“Forget about letter2u. Mark, are you really going to force us to work with a goddamn rapist? Jinyoung hyung, he’s your fucking boyfriend, do something! What about you JB? After giving Youngjae a hand you lost your freakin’ leadership? What the hell, guys!” Bambam insisted, almost unable to hold back his tears. He couldn’t be more wrong about his Chinese friend. He felt so bad for the American that he regretted all the times he bitched at him. Damn, he regretted taking Jackson’s side all the time and being indifferent to Mark’s feelings. He had so much regret inside him and he didn’t know how to get that out of his chest.

“We have a commitment to our fans and many of them already bought tickets for the concerts. We have been trained to perform in all kinds of situations, that’s what professionals do. We have to work with him, yes, but you’re not forced to like him. It happens in all lines of work. There’s always a co-worker you hate, but you have to put up with his very existence, because you have a job to do, and unfortunately you need that person around to get the job done. Every responsible adult understand that and deal with it. You should try growing up a bit, kid.” JB finally spoke, trying his best to ignore his dongsaengs’ harsh words. He didn’t miss how Youngjae blushed at the younger’s comment.

“I have no intention of letting Jackson get away with what he did and I have no intention of forgiving him. I am not happy with the fact that he has to stay with us a little longer, at least till we get rid of letter2u, but if Mark hyung says he can handle being around him, I support his decision.” Yugyeom stated, showing how mature he could be. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel a wave of disgust run through him every time he met the rapper’s eyes.

“You guys can keep pretending that I’m not even in the room. However, I really want to say to all of you how sorry I am. In your eyes, I’m not the trustable and reliable hyung I used to be. And I am to blame for that, it’s all my fault! I know I am a disgusting monster who hurt Mark in the most vicious way. I know what I did and I regret it. I wish I could undo it, God knows I would do anything to turn back time and take back what I’ve done. I mean it! You can loathe me all you want, but I can assure you, none of you can hate me more than I already hate myself. So, go on and tell me how much of a piece of shit I am! It won’t make any difference to me now, because I already know that.” Jackson said as he stood up and went to the door. But before he could leave, Jinyoung grabbed his arm, making him turn to him.

“Your apologies don’t mean a thing to anyone in this room. Be at the airport tomorrow. This international tour will be your last with Got7, and you’d better play your part well, so help me God, I’ll make you disappear from our lives for good.” The singer gave him a threatening look and let go of him. Jackson’s eyes watered as he gave a last look to the 6 people in that room and walked away from them.

“Jinyoung, would you mind explaining to me what the hell you meant by making him ‘disappear from our lives for good’?” JB inquired, extremely bothered by his friend’s choice of words.

“Don’t worry, luckily letter2u will get to him first. Where is he, by the way? I’m starting to like that loony.” Yugyeom said mercilessly.

“I second that.” Bambam commented, as conflicted feelings battled inside of him. He had never seen Jackson look so dejected, and regardless of what he did, it pained the youngster to see his Chinese friend like that.

“Guys, if this is how our tour is gonna be, I’m sure it will be a disaster. Our teamwork will turn into shit if we don’t solve our problems internally. The fans will notice, the media will notice, our fucking boss will too! Look, I know Jackson hyung did wrong. But it can’t be undone. He says he’s sorry and we kinda know he is! He was doing therapy, remember? You guys can’t gang up on him and rub that Macao episode in his face at every chance you get. Do you think Mark or him will be able to move on from that if we keep this up? There’s a lot of hatred in this room and this is not us. We are supposed to be a family. Everyone deserves a second chance. He’s clearly not well, so we should find him the help he needs. And if Mark hyung here let us help him too, we’ll be there for both of them.” Youngjae caught everyone by surprise with his speech. Deep down everyone knew he was right. Got6 was hurt by what Jackson did, but he was still the Jackson they learned to love and trust. Even if that trust was broken, true love wouldn’t dissipate so easily, so fast. They just needed time to heal their wounds, especially Mark, and the Chinese needed to find a way to show them he could be trusted again.

The sound of Mark’s sobs broke the silence of the room. Immediately Jinyoung’s arms were around him, and then Yugyeom’s, and then Youngjae’s, and then Jaebeom’s, and finally a crying Bambam let his emotions out and joined the group hug, while he whispered thousands of ‘I’m sorrys’ in Mark’s ear.

After that emotional meeting, everybody returned to their apartments to pack. Tomorrow they’d have a long trip and preparations needed to be done. Jinyoung accompanied Mark to his apartment and helped him pack. When they were done they went to the singer’s apartment and Mark also helped him pack. They were in the younger’s room folding some clothes when the American mentioned how excited he was to go back to the U.S.. He missed his home more than anything in the world.

“What’s the first thing you wanna do when we land there?” Jinyoung asked brightly.

“Go to the beach with you. Enjoy the quietness of the waves hitting the sand while holding your hand.” Mark smiled back at him and gave him a peck on the lips. The singer could almost picture them like that. It was a wonderful thought, but he wanted to know something else.

“Have you forgiven me for the things I said to you at Kookie’s party and for my inability to keep to myself all those intimate secrets you trusted me?” Jinyoung eyed him expectantly.

“I wouldn’t be wearing this if I didn’t.” Mark’s smile didn’t leave his face as he showed his boyfriend the engagement ring on his finger. He was relieved that his members knew everything they needed to know about him. Now that his dongsaengs have learned about his ups and downs, he dind’t have to keep everything bottled inside him anymore. He had never felt so lighter in his life. Not even letter2u could ruin his mood now. Truth to be told, he felt relieved to at least know the face of his stalker. It wasn’t a faceless ghost chasing him around anymore. Lee Tae-U had a face and he was human. And every human had an Achilles’ heel, they just had to find his. After hearing his tale, Mark wasn’t as scared of Tae-U as he used to be.

“Still, I want you to know that I am sorry and I promise that I’ll never, ever betray your trust again.” Jinyoung assured him, as he brought the American’s hands to his lips and gave each one of them a kiss. Mark nodded at him sweetly and changed the subject.

“Do you think there are cameras watching us now?” the American asked sheepishly, as he caressed Jinyoung’s thighs suggestively.

“Not sure if lettter2u had a chance to put cameras in here, but he stole my journal, so everything is possible. Why? Wanna put up a show for him?” Jinyoung loved to see Mark’s face flushed and the seductively way his lover licked his lips.

“I loved that journal entry, by the way. Would you really wait for me even in our next life?” Mark asked sexily as he kicked the suitcase between them to the floor and kissed Jinyoung’s eyelids. The singer closed his eyes and immediately wrapped his arms around his slim waist.

“I would. God, I love you so much, Mark. I missed you so bad, baby.” The singer whispered as he closed the distance between them and searched his boyfriend’s mouth for a kiss. When Mark’s lips crashed into his, he quickly deepened the kiss, making sure he tasted all the corners of his lover’s mouth, and memorized every tiny bit of it. The elder caressed his back as Jinyoung brought him to his lap and pulled him closer. The singer gripped the back of Mark’s neck passionately and deepened their kiss even more. He was hungry for him, he ached to be inside him in every single way. The panting elder parted their lips for a while just to catch his breath and tease his boyfriend a bit, giving softly bites in his cheeks, neck and collarbone.

“I love you, too, Jinyoungie. Make love to me.” Mark’s sultry voice almost made the singer have an instant orgasm, but he was able to delay that imminent pleasure. When he felt his boyfriend’s teeth playfully scratch his ear, he couldn’t take anymore. He turned them around and laid Mark on his back. The American quickly took off his shirt revealing his Godlike abs to his lover, who urgently started sucking his nipples and palmed the obvious bulge inside his pants. Mark moaned as he felt Jinyoung’s hands swiftly bring his boxers and pants down. He groaned when he felt the singer’s hot mouth around his shaft. Jinyoung sucked him in an incredibly fast rhythm and when he felt his fingers slide inside him with the help of his saliva, he almost screamed in pleasure. Jinyoung stopped his motions, took off his shirt, kissed Mark again and released his lips just to put three fingers inside his mouth.

“Lick them baby, suck them well.” The American obliged as he sucked on his fingers for a couple of seconds, just to feel them inside him again, scissoring and massaging his entrance.

“Jinyoungie, enough with the stretching. Just enter me already, I’m ready for you.” Mark muttered, spellbound by his boyfriend’s actions. Mark’s body twitched with anticipation when the singer retreated a bit just to unzip his pants, take his erect penis out of his boxers and penetrate his lover at once. Both of them moaned in pleasure with the deep intimate contact. Jinyoung pulled his boyfriend to the end of the bed, positioned himself better between his legs and thrusted deep into his anus again and again. He was so desperate to feel Mark’s warmth around him that his thrusts became even more ruthless, insatiable. The American loved how the singer claimed him without reserve, without any insecurity. Within minutes they both came and Jinyoung let himself fall over his lover, totally spent. Only after a while he took his penis out of his boyfriend’s hole and cuddled with him.

“Wanna take a shower?” Mark suggested softly.

“I’d rather stay here in this bed with you forever.” Jinyoung replied lazily and he brought Mark impossibly closer to him.

“I’m sorry but I have to go. I’m sticky.” The elder insisted, trying not to alarm the other.

“No, I love your stickiness. Stay.” The singer pouted as Mark made a face.

“I don’t wanna stain your mattress, please let me clean up.” The American looked embarrassed, Jinyoung frowned at that, unable to let him go.

“I don’t care about cum stains, that’s what beds are made for. Those stains are souvenirs of all the times we made love.” The Korean assured him, giving his lover a peck on the lips.

“Look, just don’t freak out, okay? It can happen and it’s totally normal.” Mark said as he lifted his sheet and showed his boyfriend a fresh stain of blood in it. Jinyoung immediately jumped from the bed and turned on all the lights in the bedroom. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. Guilt was etched on his face when he saw more stains of blood near his boyfriend’s groin and butt. He lifted both hands to his head and ran back to him, asking what happened. Mark feared that kind of reaction from him.

“Oh my God, baby, you’re bleeding! I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t know! Let me take you to a hospital! Let me help you up.” The singer moved to carry Mark in his arms, but the other stopped him.

“Hey listen to me, are you listening? There’s no need for a doctor, it’s just a tear and I’m not in pain, okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. We just gotta use tons of lube next time and it certainly won’t happen again. I think I just became a bit sensitive down there after Macao. But it’s not a big deal, you didn’t hurt me. I loved every second of it.

“Mark, don’t lie to me. Was, was it consensual? Did you want me to stop at some point? Was I too rough?” The Korean stammered, and Mark shut him up with a kiss.

“You are not him. You’ll never be him.”

Chapter Text

Everyone was packed. Got7’s manager was supposed to pick up the boys at their apartments and take them to the airport, however, that morning the Kpop world was shaken by an astounding news. A video, supposedly recorded on the roof of JYP Entertainment building, seemingly displayed two male idols masturbating each other. Not only the South Korean news agency Dispatch had released the video, it had already spread all through the Internet, and Ahgases all over the globe could swear that both males, who had their faces blurred in the occasion, were the two members of Got7, Choi Youngjae and Lim Jaebeom. The rumors were based on the fact that one of the males had 2 rings very similar to the ones Youngjae never takes off and part of his arm tattoo ‘Ars Longa Vita Brevis’ briefly showed during their frantic movements. The broad shoulders, the grungy-like clothing and lean body apparently belonged to the leader of the group, but no one could tell for sure. The company issued a statement announcing that they’d take strict legal action against malicious groundless rumors that were damaging the members’ image and character. However, damage was done. The tour was once again cancelled. The gay rumors regarding the 2Jae couple were not the only reason for it. The Chinese member of Got7 was nowhere to be found. He had disappeared from his wrecked apartment without notice, and neither the company nor the members knew what to make of that. Since letter2u was still out there, authorities were contacted the moment his manager realized he had gone missing, but his band mates just assumed the rapper was still ashamed by the events of the day before. After all, Got7 was at their breaking point because most of the members couldn’t stand being around him. While the police started looking for Jackson, the others just assumed he would show up as soon as he tired of being an attention whore. Jaebeom would be looking for him too if he wasn’t so busy at the moment. The leader didn’t have much spare time to worry about the Chinese’s whereabouts, since JYP himself requested a private meeting with Youngjae and him. Got4 all gathered at Mark’s apartment and waited anxiously for the result of that meeting.

“I called our manager. It seems that JB and Youngjae hyung are still at the company. Do you think our boss will believe that they are not the guys in the footage?” Yugyeom asked worriedly as he rested his head on Mark’s lap. The two were slouched on the couch while Jinyoung and Bambam prepared lunch in the kitchen. The singer and the Thai boy had lost two rounds of rock-paper-scissors, so as consequence, they would be the cooks of the day.

“They just have to deny it till they die. They are not dumb, I’m sure they’ll be okay. Fake videos like that pop up everyday, everywhere.” The elder reassured the stressed maknae. He felt like he had to be strong for the younger ones.

“I wonder why Tae-U would leak something like that. We didn’t break any of his rules.” Yugyeom couldn’t comprehend why 2jae were being targeted. Letter2u’s main target was always MarkJinSon.

“Do you think he left for Hong Kong?” the American asked out of the blue, and the Korean immediately realized he wasn’t talking about their stalker. The tone of the elder’s voice lowered considerably, in order to keep the ones in the kitchen from overhearing the sudden question.

“I don’t know and I don’t care. To be honest, as long as he stay far away from us, I’m satisfied.” The younger grumbled, a bit irritated. He was worried about the two hyungs who were exposed on that video, yet, he wasn’t feeling bad for the tour delay, in fact, he didn’t care if that tour ever happened. The moment he found out about Jackson’s crime, Got7 was cancelled for him.

“But he could be in danger. Lee Tae-U is not done with him.” Mark almost whispered as he thought out loud. The maknae looked up at him in annoyance. Unable to understand his hyung’s interest in the Chinese’s well-being.

“Why do you care?”

“He’s a Got7 member. And there’s someone out there who already tried to poison him. Despite of what he did, I don’t wanna any bloodshed in my name.” The American replied, trying to reason with his dongsaeng. He wasn’t sad about the tour either. Actually, he wasn’t sure if he would be strong enough to work beside the man who had done something so terrible to him, especially now that the 5 other members were aware of all the ordeal, things would be even harder for the elder. When it was only Jackson and him who knew what happened in Macao, sometimes, he could pretend it was all a bad dream. However, now, that the rapper promptly admitted to the other members what he did, that truth could not be denied anymore. When Mark heard about Bambam and Yugyeom’s decision to leave the band, his first instinct was to protect the group and keep them together no matter what. He didn’t want JB to blame him later for being the reason for their disbandment. After all, the leader had already accused the elder of seducing the members once. The last thing he needed was to be blamed by the current situation they were in. He didn’t want to make the others feel pressured to leave because he was raped by the rapper. So, he was ready to sacrifice himself to keep the peace, but no matter what he did, obstacles kept piling up ahead of them.

“That’s very considerate of you, but you are a Got7 member too, and that didn’t stop Wang from hurting you. He can look after himself.” Yugyeom stated adjusting himself on the elders’ lap to have a better look at his face.

“I may have wanted revenge once, but now I’m not so sure.” Mark confessed as he fought back tears. He knew that Lee’s so called love for was even more toxic than the Chinese’s.

“Are you seriously ready to forgive him? What’s wrong with you?!” the maknae eyed him in disbelief, as he lifted his head from the other’s lap and sat back on the couch. The elder looked away.

“When I was without my memories, he could’ve taken advantage of that, but he didn’t! I mean, I would have let him do whatever he wanted to do with me when he picked me up from the hospital. I fucking tried to come on to him in his car and he stopped me from going further. And that wasn’t the first time he avoided that kind of contact. I offered him sexual favors in order to shut him up about my breakdown in Jinyoung’s house months ago. At Kookie’s party I also gave him the idea that I would agree with a Markjinson threesome, but he still refused me!” Mark didn’t know how to contain those conflicting feelings inside of him. He was realizing something about himself that he felt ashamed to admit for all those months since the break up in Macao.

“And what the hell does it matter?! He was just afraid of fucking you up twice! And if you regretted it later and jumped from a building, he would only have himself to blame! What are you thinking, hyung?!” Yugyeom raised his voice, ready to beat some sense into the other.

“Perhaps he really loves me. In his violent and unkind way, maybe he still does.” Mark whispered, feeling the burning look his dongsaeng was giving him. But it wasn’t the maknae’s voice that broke the silence between them.

“No, he doesn’t. Nevertheless, I see that you hope he still does. As a matter of fact, Mark, I think you really want to believe that, because you are the one who still have feelings for him.” Jinyoung’s serious voice sounded like a thunder invading his ears. He didn’t want to admit that maybe his boyfriend was right, yet, he wouldn’t have enough courage to deny that fact.

“I lost my damn appetite. I’m leaving. Yug, are you coming?” Bambam appeared beside Jinyoung. He looked clearly upset by what the singer had just insinuated and he didn’t want to take part in that conversation.

“Oh, another Jackson die-hard fan running away from his feelings! I know you miss him too, Bam. You don’t have to hide it. Who knows? Maybe you’re hopeful that someday he might respond to that stolen kiss.” Yugyeom accused, as he stood up from the couch and shook his head in frustration.

“I’m not after his ass if that’s what you’re implying. I’m not the one who had a threesome with the guy and another trainee just to prove a goddamn point.” Bambam retorted, ignoring his friend’s baseless tirade and giving Jinyoung a dirty look.

“I was in a dark place when it happened and I’m not proud of it. To be honest, I’m just starting to realize that no matter what I do, certain emotional bonds are not easily broken.” Jinyoung commented sourly, as he couldn’t take his eyes from Mark’s back. The American hadn’t even turned to face him after he made the remark about his feelings for the rapper. The elder was obviously not ready to have that kind of talk with his lover yet. Thankfully, the young ones were pretty talkative.

“I loved the guy, okay? I mean, we all did! We are all disappointed and I’m sure that even though JB and Youngjae are trying their best to tone down what Jackson did, they do know it’s wrong to keep him in the band and let his crime go unpunished. Geez, I could barely sleep yesterday!  It feels like if I even waste some thought of sympathy for the guy, I’ll be affronting Mark’s very existence, ignoring what he went through in that filthy brothel, but in the end of the day we are all accessories after the fact.” Bambam complained, making exaggerated gestures with his hands.

“Do you think I wanna be exposed like that? Bam, once this goes public I won’t have the strength to overcome that kind of unwanted attention! Think about our Ahgases, friends, our families! The fucking media would go crazy! I won’t even comment about what Lee Tae-U would do! Jackson’s fans and my anti-fans would judge, criticize and defame me. They would claim I was seeking attention, that I was the one who was trying to destroy Got7 and his solo career in China. I wouldn’t have a place to hide in this fucking world. I already feel naked in front of you guys every time you mention Macao! I wouldn’t be able to bear the shame, the pitiful looks, the constant victimization. Imagine me going to the police! The fact that we are both gay would make them suggest that the whole thing was consensual! They’d be asking me what the hell I was doing in a brothel, they’d even ask me if I really tried to fight him or if I led him on somehow! They would ask me if I had an erection, if I ejaculated, if I really didn’t enjoy it! Just because I’m a fucking faggot, they’d assume that taking it up the ass in a way or another is already some sort of daily activity for me! Then they’d ask why I did not come forward earlier and kept working in the same group with him! They’d me make me wonder if it was really rape! They’d make me so confused that I’d be the one feeling bad for Jackson. He would be the victim and I’d be the criminal on trial.” Mark painted a dreary picture of what could happen if he, or any of the members decided to report the Chinese. He had already pondered all the possible consequences of such action.

“I’m sorry, Mark hyung.” Bambam’s trembling voice was followed by an inconsolable sigh. The Thai boy realized that even though hiding the rapper’s crime weighted on his conscience, it was nothing compared to what his hyung was going through or what he would have to face once the truth was out.

“I’m the one who’s sorry for asking you all to keep quiet about this. I wouldn’t want you guys to have that on your conscience if I could help it, but it’s just the way it is. If any of you get the word out, I’m as good as dead.” The American never sounded so despondent and the three other members of Got7 never felt so impotent in their lives. That last sentence uttered by the elder sent shivers to Jinyoung’s spine. He wondered if the ‘death’ mentioned by the American was either figurative or literal. He immediately regretted pointing out Mark’s contradictory feelings for the Chinese. Jinyoung had to constantly remind himself that his boyfriend’s mental stability needed to be looked after.

“Hey baby, let’s not think about that now, okay? Let’s eat something. Bam and I finished making lunch. Let us three just stuff ourselves with food and forget about all of this for the rest of the afternoon. What do you say?” the singer crouched in front of the other and touched his cheek lovingly. Mark gave him a tiny sad smile and nodded at those words.

“I love you.” Mark whispered to him as he leaned forward to give him a peck on the lips and a bear hug. The dongsaengs who watched the scene made uncomfortable noises as they walked to the kitchen leaving the two alone in the living room.

“I love you too.” Jinyoung replied, as he broke the hug just to give him another kiss. Before the singer could deepen the kiss, Mark pushed him way a little just to stare at his eyes.

“Regardless of what I might still feel for him, I will always love you, I want you to know that...” Mark started, but Jinyoung brought a finger to his lips to silence him.

“Let’s not talk about that now. You need to eat first, let’s go. The others are waiting.” The singer took his boyfriend by the hand and led him to the kitchen to join the others at the table.

Lunch was quiet, but the sound of the TV kept them distracted from their actual problems for a while. When they were finished, another rock-paper-scissors round decided who would take care of the dishes. This time Bambam and Yugyeom were the losers. Then the lovers quickly ran to the living room to celebrate their victory and enjoy some time alone. Away from the youngsters’ scrutinizing eyes, the couple had the opportunity to exchange kisses and cuddle on the carpet before Yug and Bam could return to join them. Their moods seemed to be improving as time passed. A comedy was playing on the TV when the four cozily gathered in Mark’s living room, and it felt like in the old days, when they’d share a flat together, and simply enjoy each other’s company. They could almost forget Got7 crisis and focus on the plot they were watching. However, that kind of peace didn’t last long. The nostalgic moment was interrupted by the noisy doorbell. They all tensed up, but Mark reluctantly disentangled his fingers from Jinyoung’s and went to the door. The elder secretly hoped it was Jackson. He couldn’t feel totally at ease without knowing where he was. But through the peephole he saw the 2Jae couple standing outside his door, so he quickly let them in. An agitated Jaebeom entered the living room like a lightning bolt with Youngjae behind him.

“We are going on hiatus. JYP has received the original video in which our faces are clearly visible. There was no use arguing with him. A video speaks more than a fucking 1000 words. He says he needs time to think about what to do with us.” JB declared, once he reached the living room, where everyone stared at him in horror.

“And there’s more. Letter2u has Jackson. That psycho sent us a text a little earlier, claiming that yesterday night Jackson hyung was on the way to turn himself in, so Tae-U stopped him before he reached the police station. Anyways, since a rule was broken, the video recorded on the rooftop was released today.” Youngjae informed, as the others gasped. Going to prison could ruin everything, but being letter2u’s hostage was not the best scenario for the rapper either.

“That’s all Tae-U said? How do we get Jackson back?” Mark questioned, extremely worried for the Chinese’s safety.

“He didn’t mention that.” Youngjae stated quietly. He felt bad for the elder, he felt even worse for whatever could happen next. If there was a possibility to trade Jackson for something letter2u wanted, he was sure the price would be high.

“What do we do now? I mean, should we pursue solo careers? Fans will flip when they hear about this. Everyone will guess that ‘hiatus’ is just another word for a breakup! Netizens will soon pick a foil for Got7’s disbandment and since Jackson is the one who went AWOL before a fucking international tour starts, they’ll eat him alive. They might even suggest he’s a declared homophobic who’s left the band because he couldn’t stand the 2Jae romance.” Bambam concluded at his wits’ end. The Thai could already foresee the hardships they could face in the next hours. The idea of Jackson being tortured somewhere also plagued his mind. Being kidnapped by a sasaeng could certainly be the scariest experience for an idol. He didn’t want to think that Tae-U could seriously harm or actually kill Jackson and throw his body in some far away ditch, so he tried to occupy his mind with other topics. 

“Why would you give a fuck about that now? Our careers can go to hell, for all I care! That lunatic is dangerous! He might be…” Mark didn’t finish his sentence. He just run to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Chapter Text

“Shouldn’t you go check on him?” a distraught Yugyeom asked tiredly, as he turned to Jinyoung. However, before the singer could follow his boyfriend, JB held his arm to stop him.

“Let me go talk to him.” The leader said, giving his friend a reassuring look. The younger hesitated a bit, but just let him go. As he eyed JB knocking on Mark’s bedroom door and letting himself in, he asked Youngjae to tell them more about their meeting at JYPE.

When Got7’s leader closed the door behind him, his eyes immediately followed his hyung’s form by the window. It was cold outside and the fact that the American ignored the icy wind coming from it, made the Korean jump to dreadful conclusions. However, before he could approach the elder, the other turned to him.

“I’m not gonna jump, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He said calmly, as he moved away from the curtains, sat on his bed and offered a spot to his dongsaeng, who carefully accepted it and sat beside him.

“What are you thinking then?” JB asked, no judgment on his voice. He wanted his hyung to know that he was there for him.

“He could be out there, you know, locked up in some dirty cold basement, bleeding out, yelling for help.” The American answered, as his eyes returned to the direction of the window.

“These past few months you gave the impression that you hated him. You looked at him with so much contempt. When did that change?” JB pushed, trying to understand what was going on in the elder’s head.

“While I attended some individual therapy sessions with Dr. Lee all she did was to make me hate him. She made me believe that Jackson never loved me, and that I should take revenge for what he did to me. That was probably her crazy brother’s instructions, but somehow her unorthodox ‘counseling’ made me stronger, made me feel less angry at myself and gradually more confident. I ceased to hurt myself, I wanted him to be the one hurting. I knew Jin would help me get my revenge.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Were you using him?” JB was agape with that information. He would hate to think take the American had been pretending to love his friend just to punish Jackson.

“Maybe at first. I don’t know for sure. I remember that the idea crossed my mind and it lingered there for a while. But he made me fall in love with him, while I still had feelings for Jackson. In fact, I cannot deny that my heart still beats for him at times.” Mark sighed in frustration. He never knew it would be possible to love two totally different people at the same time. His heart was unfair to Jinyoung, and indiscriminately blind to Jackson’s faults.

“This is not love, you know?” JB declared, as Mark’s eyes immediately found his.

“What do you mean?” the American frowned at his words.

“Last night I started reading about how rape victims deal with their trauma differently. The tough ones report their rapists and fell disgusted by what they did. Others forgive, and even dare to go back to the guy and sleep with them, believing that it’s never gonna happen again, all in the name of love. Others marry their attacker, in order to convince themselves that it wasn’t rape, that it was just sex, and it would’ve happened anyways. Others seek healing in the form of self-harming, drugs, alcohol and the ultimate exit, suicide.” JB talked slowly, as he observed how his hyung’s face grimaced.

“And I bet you already know in which category I fit, right?! Because reading about it makes you a fucking specialist in PTSD or something?!” Mark looked offended as he got up from the bed.

“I don’t know, Mark! I can’t even start to imagine how it was for you, how it feels now. The truth is, maybe you should find some group counseling with people who had gone through the same shit you experienced. That way you may get to understand of how that day in Macao has affected you. Who knows, you might find more empathy in a place where you can share your trauma with those who are struggling with the same emotions. But please, stop deluding yourself with this illusion of love. You will never be able to correct Jackson’s crime. Clinging to the feelings you had for him before it happened won’t justify any of it. You’ll never be able to get back what he took from you. Admitting what he did to you is accepting that your life will never be the same again. It's hard, but it has to be done. You heard him the other day, he wanted to validate his power over you, it had nothing to do with affection. Jackson does no love you and you do not love him back. You need to internalize that, the sooner the better. ” JB stated firmly. His words felt like a slap in the face, and the American could only shake his head in denial.

“You know nothing about us.” The elder retorted clearly angry at his dongsaeng.

“Do you think Jinyoung deserves this?” JB continued, and he knew, by his hyung’s expression that his words had finally hit a nerve.

“Do you think I want this for him? Do you think I don’t want to be able to look at Kayee and only see the detestable man who humiliated and dehumanized me once? I wish someday I could wake up and forget he was my first unrestrained love, my first mind-blowing kiss, my first unforgettable fuck, my first everything? But I can’t, I’m unable to! And yeah, maybe I’m messed up, maybe I need professional help, yet, I can’t help how I feel.” Mark replied exasperated. JB realized how that talk was making him agitated, but some things needed to be clarified.

“You have no idea how proud I was of the kids, you know? I mean, when the team YugBam decided to resign. You should’ve seen them. Before you arrived at the meeting yesterday with that fake self-righteous discourse of yours, I was ready to quit too. They were fierce when they explained to JYP that they couldn’t stay in Got7 anymore due to deep moral divergences within the group.” JB smiled as he remembered the shock in their boss’s face.

“You seemed pretty okay while you dissed Bambam about his impulsive decision to leave. You even told him to grow up and act like and adult who should put work first, no matter how shitty was his co-worker.” Mark seemed confused now.

“That was me provoking you, man. I wanted you to shout out loud and try to convince us of how absurd was to even consider keeping the band together. I wanted you to rant, to end everything right there and then. The hell with letter2u’s threats, the hell with the scandals! I was praying you would be able to recover your self-esteem and beat some sense into your dongsaengs, hyung! But you get there and you are the first to pretend that nothing happened?! You just blab to JYP about resuming the tour?! Your nonsensical attitude made our naïve Youngjae make that stupid speech about family and second chances! That kid won’t be able to see the fact that you were raped as a big deal if you, yourself don’t regard it as rape.” JB told him sternly, and even Mark was at a loss for words for some minutes.

“I had no idea you expected that from me.” The elder was taken aback.

“Well, I did. But instead, you got Bambam, Yugyeom, Youngjae and even freakin’ Jinyoung to agree with a North American tour!? You don’t really believe that your boyfriend would be able to keep his feeling in check, right? No one would able to go through with it, even if they tried it, I assure you of that.” JB exclaimed, as he still couldn’t understand why Mark intended to self-immolate himself like that. He couldn’t believe that his hyung thought so little of them. The group would be lacking basic moral values if they ignored Jackson’s misdeed. Even if letter2u forced them to keep quiet about it, Got7 dynamics would be shattered and the band would implode sooner or later.

“I thought you would be satisfied with my responsible ‘hyung’ attitude. You never ceased to remind me of how I should be more reliable around them. I wanted to look tough and professional, but truth to be told, I don’t know how long that would last. Probably, as soon as we landed in America, I’d run away from you guys the next day and forget that Got7 ever happened.” Mark confessed, not really in control of his constant mood swings.

“I’m glad Lee Tae-U stopped this tour then.” JB sounded somewhat relieved.

“As a matter of fact, Jackson did. He was going to turn himself in right after our meeting with JYP, remember? Tae-U just got to him first.” The American gave him a sad smile.

“We’ll find him, Mark, I promise you. But when we do, I’ll cut all ties with him, and I hope all the other members do the same. I would advise you to press charges, but it’s your decision to make. We can keep Got6 like we’ve been doing in Japan, and he will stay far away from us, especially from you. So you can heal, so you can get past Jackson Fucking Wang for good.”

“I kinda like that plan. But what about today’s meeting? Are you two able to move on from being outed to the boss? Will JYP even want us to keep working for the company?” Mark raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

“We are the most successful K-pop band in the world. We are the golden goose of the company. The 2Jae video available to the public can’t prove anything, it only brought more attention to us. There might even be a public backlash against homophobia. Our fans are young and more open-minded. Korean is slowly changing. The country already has its first openly gay kpop idol. You’ve heard about that Holland kid, right? And I also told JYP that firing us would be a tremendous mistake, because the rumors will pass, some fans might leave us, many others will get to know us, but in the end if the day, our music will live on. Ars longa, Vita brevis.” JB smirked at Mark, who could only chuckle at his dongsaeng’s sagacity.

“Wow, you’re really something Lim Jaebeom.” The American’s bright smile briefly returned to his lips and what a sight that was. The elder had always been handsome, but his genuine smile, for the first time, overwhelmed the younger’s vision. The leader was so touched that he couldn’t resist such a beauty. He felt a sudden curiosity of how those lips would feel against his and when he leaned in, he just went for it. Mark just stayed there, frozen on the spot when he felt Jaebeom’s lips collide with his. It didn’t last long though, the leader quickly retreated, red as a tomato.

“Sorry, I just wanted to make sure of something.” JB explained himself briefly as he glued his eyes to the floor. Mark felt awkward, and tried not to freak out. That was so wrong in so many ways that he didn’t even want to comment on it.

“And what would that be?” the elder asked, praying to hear a reasonable answer. His lips had just been in contact with the lips of his boyfriend’s best friend and the love of Youngjae’s life. He needed to know why that happened.

“I just wanted to know if I would feel the same way I did when I kissed Jae.” He replied, a bit embarrassed.

“And?” Mark looked alarmed.

“He’s a better kisser than you are, Mark!” JB started laughing as he eyed the relief in Mark’s eyes. Suddenly the leader started tickling the elder, making his hyung start laughing too. And they both laid on the bed, feeling much closer than before that whole conversation happened.

When they returned to the living room, the other four members had a worried look on their faces.

“What is it now?” JB inquired as the other members eyed each other.

“Tae-U sent us a voice message. He’s willing to let Jackson go on only one condition.” Yugyeom said promptly, as Jinyoung gave him a reapproving look.

“Of course I’m not letting him have his way. No one is doing anything to free that vermin, okay?!” Jinyoung sounded irritated and JB knew that wasn’t a good sign.

“I want to hear the message.” Mark announced and before his boyfriend could protest again, Bambam started playing the message on his phone:

‘Hello boys! I know you must be wondering why the 2Jae video was released and not a MarkjinSon. Well, ask Jackson if you ever get to see him again, I just let your rapper choose which members should be exposed for his transgression of the rules, and he did it! How selfish of him, right? He refuses to let anyone have a glimpse of his ex’s intimacies, but he has no problems with outing other members. Still as possessive as always, don’t you think, Mark? Well, he’s right here with me as we speak and by his sad puppy face I know he misses all the six of you. So, let me go straight to the point and allow me to negotiate his freedom. I will only release your precious Wang Jia Er if Mark agrees to go on a date with me. I mean, it’s about time we get some time alone, right, Markie? I’ve been painfully waiting for this moment for so long! Jackson stole that from me years ago! He owes me that! Now, it’s my turn to conquer your heart, Dimsun! I’ve given you enough proof of my undying adoration for you and I’m sure that as soon as you get to know me better, you’ll fall for me too. Jinyoung is not a control freak like Jack, so I’m sure he’ll let me borrow you for some hours. But you cannot blame him if he refuses to come back to you afterwards, okay, Nyoungie? I’m just that irresistible. Anyways, I’ll pick you up at 7P.M in your apartment, Markie! You come willingly and tomorrow your Kayee is free.'

“What time is it?” Mark asked anxiously.

“A quarter to 7. Why?” Youngjae answered as he eyed him quizzically.

“Haven’t you heard? I have a date to attend this evening.” As soon as the elder told them that, protests filled the room.

“You won’t risk your life for that guy! He’s not worth it. If letter2u wants Jackson, let him have him!” Yugyeom pleaded with his hyung.

“Tae-U doesn’t want Jack, he wants to get to you, Mark. That’s his ultimate goal! We are not letting you leave this place with that maniac, that’s nonsense.” JB exclaimed hysterically, already pacing around the room.

“If you want, I can accompany you.” Bambam blurted out and all the others eyed him in disbelief.

“Thanks, but I can manage it.” Mark told him and the younger nodded at him. There was a connection between those two, which the others couldn’t really understand.

“Bambam, you’re not really helping. We should convince him to stay!” Youngjae shook his head in frustration.

 “Even if we have to tie him down to a chair.” The maknae shouted, as he feared the worst.

“He refuses to go on this date and he’ll have Jackson’s death on his conscience. Would you like that?” Bambam commented, as he crossed his arms and observed the other members become silent.

“Mark, please baby, don’t do that. There’s gotta be another way. We’ll call the cops, the company, someone.” Jinyoung held his lover by the shoulder and tried his best to reason with him.

“You know none of those can help us. He wants a damn date, he’ll get his date. Period!”

Chapter Text

At 7 PM Mark’s apartment was surrounded by bodyguards. Lee came to pick up his date, and he knew he would face some resistance from the other members of Got7. He wasn’t worried about the American, he was sure he would follow him willingly, but he was certain that Jinyoung, Yugyeom, and JB wouldn’t let him take their hyung without a fight. Surprisingly, when letter2u broke into the apartment, Got5 had locked a protesting Mark in one of the bathrooms of the place, trying their best to barricade the door, but the sasaeng’s men had guns and the group of idols were suddenly at loss. They had to watch Mark being carried away from his apartment and away from them.

Mark was undeniably scared, but he wouldn’t show it. The drive to Lee’s mansion was silent, but the tension was crushing. The young, mentally impaired wealthy man, only eyed him sometimes, with an awkward smile on his lips. The American didn’t know what to expect, yet, he wanted to make sure that all his comrades would be able to live through that night unscathed.

“I want your men out of my apartment and I want my members to be left alone. I’m here with you, aren’t I?” Mark started, but the other abruptly brought a finger to his lips to silence him.

“This is not the appropriate way to start an unforgettable date night. Let’s just talk about ourselves, shall we?” Lee answered, as he gave Mark a kiss on both his cheeks. The American froze with the contact, but kept talking when the other returned to his seat.

“I’m here for Jackson and you know that.” The elder eyed Tae-U sternly, while the other just sneered at him.

“Your members will be in your apartment under the surveillance of my men till the night is over. I cannot risk to have them walking around to some random police station like Wang did last night. I have no intention of harming Got7 publically. You guys forced my hand when I released that 2Jae video. Do not think you hold all the cards here, Tuan. I do love you and I care for your dongsaengs, but I’ve got a very short fuse and most of the time, I’m forced to do things that I regret later. Sometimes I violently break my own rules, till there’s nothing to hold myself back anymore.” The sasaeng spoke softly, without expressing any kind of visible emotion on his face. That fact made Mark tremble, and he wondered how could one sound so carefree and look so menacing at the same time.

As soon as the car passed through the gates of the mansion, the American was led inside the luxurious house. The furniture and design of the place was stunning. Mark couldn’t help but admire the large paintings hanging on the walls, or the huge chandelier that illuminated the opulent dining room that was presented before his eyes.

“How do you like my humble lair?” Lee asked, as he offered a chair to the American, who obediently sat beside him clearly uncomfortable.

“Looks fancy. That’s all there is to it.” He answered impatiently. He observed some butlers and cooks coming in and out of the kitchen continuously as they filled the splendid table with several different meals and beverages.

“Don’t bother with them. They work solely for me, Mark. They will not aid you if you ask them to help you.”

“Why so much food? Am I meeting your parents tonight, or something? For a first date I think this is too much, don’t you think?” Mark replied sarcastically, as he realized how Tae-U could easily read his thoughts.

“You need sustenance, the night is long and I cannot have you fainting on me.” Lee smiled weirdly at him. Mark felt nauseated. He was afraid to think of what the other meant by that.

“Can I see him? Please?” Mark asked, unable to contain his own anxiety.

“Soon. Eat something, drink. I promise you that nothing at this table is poisoned. Aren’t you curious about me? That’s your chance to get to know me better, dear. Ask away.”

“Look, I don’t remember you. I’ve met so many trainees at JYP that I lost count of them. I understand you’re upset by what Jackson did to you in the past, but it’s no excuse for kidnapping, or blackmailing. Please, let us go.” Mark’s pleading voice seemed to displease the owner of the house.

“There’s no excuse for what Wang did to you either. And yet, you came to rescue him. It’s funny how we ruthlessly try to achieve our goals by any means necessary. Jackson wanted to mark you as his, regardless of how traumatic that experience was for you. You want to protect Got7, regardless of what can happen to you during this date. And all I want is for you to notice me, regardless of my radical methods. I wonder if any of us will be successful in our endeavors. By the way, have you really forgiven him?” Lee sounded curious as he raised an eyebrow the idol.

“I don’t know. He said he was sorry. I don’t think he’d would do it again if he had the chance.” He answered a bit uncertain. He just didn’t want to give Lee any more reason to hate the Chinese.

“You’re too lenient with him. It makes me wonder how far your mercifulness can go. Perhaps we could put it to test tonight.” Lee spoke, deep in thought.

“Is he here in this mansion or somewhere else?” Mark asked anxiously and the mood of the other changed drastically. He threw a plate on the wall and took deep breaths before speaking again.

“Stop mentioning Jackson at this table. There’s no room for him here. Today is about me and you.” Lee smiled weirdly again, though he didn’t look totally emotionless this time. He couldn’t hide his discontentment, but the American didn’t feel intimidated by the brief fit of anger.

“You know I don’t wanna be here. I don’t even care who you are or what you do for a living. You could be the president of South Korea, or you could die tomorrow for all I care. You scared the hell of my friends and me, you’ve been incessantly terrorizing us for months! You pushed someone in front of a train! I have no interest in you whatsoever. Just take me to Jacks so I can make sure he is alive. I beg you.” The American kept talking nonstop. Only Tae-U’s strong punch on the table made him shut up and lower his eyes, afraid of what could happen next.

“Follow me.” The sasaeng commanded coldly as he got up from the table. The idol just did what was demanded from him. They walked together through a great hall, with many doors and pictures on the wall. When they stopped at one of the doors, Tae-U signaled the elder to open it. Mark looked at him expectantly, but did what he asked. The room was dark. But the first thing he could notice was a familiar smell that invaded his nostrils, it was the Chinese’s cologne that filled the room.

“Kayee?” Mark whispered, engulfed by the darkness of the room. He could feel Tae-us presence behind him and hear the key turning inside the door lock. When the sasaeng finally turned on the lights, the American almost forgot how to breathe. Before him, there was a perfect reconstruction of the brothel room he was raped. The carpet, the window, the curtains, the colors of the wall, the magnificent bed. It was all there, even the cheap prostitute who witnessed the most grotesque moment of his life. He had eyes like saucers when he realized that the figure on the bed, wearing utterly provocative clothes was not that Macao prostitute, it was actually Jackson. He was unconscious, but he was still breathing. Mark’s legs trembled as everywhere he looked reminded him of that traumatic day. His legs threatened to give in as his hands shook uncontrollably. A voice inside his head screamed at him to run, but he was too petrified to do so. He blinked several times as sweat started to escape from his pores. There was only one time he felt so frightened in his life and that scenario was exactly like the one he tried to wipe from his mind. Mark fell on his knees as he started vomiting on the floor. He felt a soothing hand on his shoulder, but moved away quickly from the touch when he realized it was Lee’s. He felt like hyperventilating.

“Get me out of here! Let me out! Please, I can’t stand this place!” The American cried, as flashes of his violation crept into his mind. He ran to the door but no matter how he kicked, punched and screamed at the wood, it wouldn’t open.

“Don’t hurt yourself, dearest, no one can hear you here. You wanted to see Wang and I brought you to him. However, we arrived early. He still sleeps. It will take some more minutes for his body to wear off the drugs I gave him. You ruined my plans, because we were supposed to have some fun with him later. We could be enjoying our dinner, but now we’re gonna wait here till he wakes up.” Lee spoke softly as he sat on an expensive chair beside the bed. Mark couldn’t miss how the sasaeng’s hands caressed the rapper’s dark locks.

“You monster, take your hands off him.” Mark yelled, as he didn’t dare to move from the door. But his words only enticed Lee, who traveled his hands to Jackson’s crotch giving it a hard squeeze.

“How do you care for someone who used you like a whore? I’m trying to open your eyes, Mark. Why do you refuse to open them? He brutally tore you apart for his own gratification. Why aren’t you mad, Mark? How come you’re not ready to have your revenge? Not all rape victims have such an opportunity, you know?” Lee’s voice was almost a whisper, but Mark could hear every single word coming from his mouth. The sasaeng’s hand was already inside Jackson’s pants when Lee started stroking the Chinese, who moaned in his sleep.

“Please, stop this. Let us go home! This is wrong!” Mark squealed as he sobbed on the floor.

“You can swap places with him if you want. Perhaps, you do enjoy being treated like a whore. Are you a filthy slut, Markie? Do you want me to touch you, like I’m touching him now?” Lee asked darkly, as his eyes gleamed with satisfaction.

“No! Stay away from me! Stay away from him! Leave us alone!” Mark retorted, unable to move from his spot and stop Lee’s hands from masturbating his ex. He didn’t have emotional stamina to fight his captor.

“Someone is going to get fucked in the ass tonight, Mark. And I hope you start worrying about yourself instead of trying to protect your rapist. I’ll offer you the chance to provide him the same treatment he gave you in Macao and I hope you’re man enough to comply.” Lee declared as he licked Jackson’s face and kept stroking his already erected penis. Mark was unable to stare at the bed for long, his expression was a mix of disgust and fear. He needed to cease his weeping, get up from that floor and do something about it, but that very place seemed to drain the energy out of his body.

“I don’t want revenge.” He stammered as he glued his eyes to the floor. He felt like a coward for letting that psycho touch his sleeping ex. He couldn’t see Jackson as the ex-boyfriend who once rapped him, but as a defenseless person who was about to go through the same ordeal he had once experienced. He suddenly thought of his P.E teacher back in middle school, and wondered how many other boys the old man was able to harass because Mark kept quiet about his experience. Guilt assaulted his fragile mind. He wondered how many victims he would ignore. The American knew he just needed to find enough courage to put an end to that vicious circle.

“Because you think you still love him. But tonight this is gonna change, Mark. I assure you.” Lee announced as he started to undress the rapper. The American could hear the rustling of clothes, the movements on the bed, and when he was brave enough to lift his eyes, he saw Tae-U sucking on Jackson’s penis. The Chinese was completely naked and vulnerable on the bed while the sasaeng eagerly blew him. However, when his legs were spread open and a finger teased the entrance of the sleeping man, a hand stopped letter2u’s motions. He didn’t know where that boldness was coming from. Neither he, nor letter2u knew how he gathered enough strength to walk to the bed and come between the pair.

“Get up, let me have him.” Mark stated firmly, as he shoved Lee away from the rapper, who was almost conscious. The American observed how his eyes were already half open and he moaned incoherent sounds. The sasaeng looked at Mark in surprise as the American positioned himself between Jackson’s legs.

“Jackson and I already happened, you know? Dozens of times in his apartment, this is not new for him. You don’t have to be so possessive of the guy. I brought him here for you. He’s all yours to abuse, Markie.” Lee giggled as he found a better spot on the large bed where he could watch the Markson couple in action. He loved to watch Mark topping or bottoming, there was no difference for him. He already had a collection of steaming Markjin videos, which were secretly recorded at the idols’ apartments, yet, he kinda missed some Markson smut.

“How about you give us some privacy for a while?” Mark asked out of the blue. He didn’t move to take off his clothes or anything, he just stayed between his ex’s legs protectively as he tried to buy some time before the rapper was completely awaken. He didn’t know what he was doing but he was sure Jackson could find them a way out of that situation. The Chinese just had to be completely conscious.

“Markie, do you really think I’m gonna miss such a spectacle?! This is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! There’s no way in hell I’m gonna leave you two alone! I should be live streaming this, but I won’t. This event is for my eyes only. Just pretend I’m not here. By the way, remember he’s dangerous? I’ll make sure he behaves. Come on, no need to be shy. Take off your clothes, already!” Lee insisted excitedly, as he moved to unbutton Mark’s shirt. The American allowed him to do it, but all Mark wanted was to push those clammy hands away and strangle the sasaeng till he couldn’t take another breath anymore. But he was aware of the guards outside the door, he knew the other Got7 members were being held captive at his apartment, and Jackson was still too drowsy to run, so he needed to think carefully about his next move.

“Why don’t we enjoy ourselves before he awakes? Just you and I? Wouldn’t you like that?” The American suggested nervously. The room became quiet for a while, and something changed in Tae-U’s expression. The idol couldn’t tell whether that was a good sign or not.

“Look at that! I tried my best to behave like a gentleman, I planned to feed you properly, make you feel at home, enjoy a nice conversation and court you in the most traditional and old-fashioned way. But all this time, the only thing in your mind was having my dick up your ass, Tuan?! You never cease to amaze me.” Lee shook his head in disbelief as he jumped on Mark, throwing him to the floor. Panic was clear in the American’s eyes when the sasaeng roughly got rid of his shirt at once, and started rubbing himself against him. He thought of pushing letter2u away, but he didn’t know what kind of response he would receive if he dared to deny the younger now. He tried to control his nausea when he felt the younger trap his hands above his head and attack his neck and collarbone. Lee mercilessly licked, sucked and bit into the elder’s sensitive skin.

“Please, don’t.” Mark begged, as he could feel the other drawing blood from his neck with a painful bite. Lee released the injured flesh of his neck just to taste the elder’s lips, who unwillingly opened his mouth to receive the bloody kiss. The idol could taste his own blood as the other shoved his tongue inside his mouth. The younger deepened the kiss as he gripped Mark by the hair and pulled their bodies even closer. The elder could already feel the other’s arousal against his thigh and he knew that if he didn’t slowed him down, Lee would get inside his pants in no time.

“I kinda have a blood fetish, I hope you don’t mind.” The sasaeng gave him a bloody smirk and winked at the idol, who put a hand against his chest before the other could lean in to take his lips again.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Mark told him weakly and surprisingly his captor released his arm and got off him, allowing the elder to get up. As soon as Mark stood up, he saw Jackson slowly sitting up on the bed. The rapper still seemed to be a bit out of it, but when his eyes met Mark’s and he noticed the blood dripping from his neck, he immediately stood up and went in his direction.

“It’s on your left. Don’t take too long, Markie. I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life.” The sasaeng moaned as he stroked his own hard on which was visible through the fabric of his trousers. The American realized that from Jackson’s angle, he couldn’t see Lee laying on the carpet nor Lee could see him. Therefore, before the sasaeng could take notice of a naked Jackson walking to Mark, the American ran to the rapper, grabbed his arm, pushed him inside the bathroom and locked themselves in. His movements were fast and desperate. It took Lee a few minutes to understand the situation. He only saw Mark running for some reason, but when he sat up, glanced to the bed and saw no one there, he finally figured out what happened. He smiled at the other’s sagacity. It was a naïve move, but still, he admired Mark’s attempt to distract him. Seducing him was the best way to make him forget about the clock, forget about the rapper in the bed and focus only on the American on the carpet. Obviously one of his men could bring that bathroom door down, but he didn’t feel like ruining that moment. He wanted to let the runaway couple believe that a simple door could keep them safe from him, till the moment he could crush that illusion of protection they held onto. Lee started laughing out loud. He loved a chase, he loved a hunt and he almost thanked the idol for putting up a fight. He didn’t expect to have Mark giving himself to him so easily. And he loved to delay that moment, when he finally got what he wanted.

“You won this first round, Markie. Full marks, babe! I guess I just fell in love with you all over again. I’ll give you guys sometime to catch up. I think that after the stunt you pulled, you deserve it, seriously. Don’t miss me too much. I’ll be back soon and I’ll come bearing gifts.” Lee laughed maniacally as he exited the bedroom and locked the door behind him. Mark eyed Jackson worriedly as the other sat confused on the toilet vase. Mark had found a towel hanging on the bathroom wall and wrapped it around his waist.

“What the hell are you doing in this hell hole, Yien? You shouldn’t have come here, not for me.” Jackson commented in a hoarse voice, as he couldn’t take his eyes from Mark’s injured neck. The American swallowed hard as he leaned on the bathroom door, trying to keep his distance from the rapper. Running away from letter2u was instinctive, but now that his adrenaline was down, he realized that he was locked up in a bathroom with a half- naked Jackson and he himself only had his pants on. He felt too exposed before the other. He crossed his arms around his chest to hide his bare, well-toned muscles, but he could still feel the burning stare of the other on him.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Mark complained, clearly upset. The other got up from the vase abruptly, unwrapped the towel that covered his body and pressed it to Mark’s bleeding neck. His eyes roamed around the marks and hickeys on his nipples and collarbone and swiftly captured the American’s eyes.

“We need to stop this bleeding.” The rapper stated, as his proximity intimidated the elder.

“I’d rather if you kept the towel. I can use the toilet paper.” Mark said, as he moved away from the rapper, gave the towel back to him and collected some toilet paper to press against his neck. He turned away from the Chinese, clearly uncomfortable with his nakedness.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before. You don’t have to be shy about it.” The younger replied casually, as he wrapped the towel around his waist again.

“The last time I saw you naked like this, I couldn’t walk properly for a weak! I’m not being shy about it, Jackson, I’m just slightly disturbed to find myself in a Macao brothel room with you again. I mean, have you seen the bedroom out there? Imagine how much time and money he spent recreating all the details…Jesus Christ, how sick is that guy?! Why the hell did you have to bring this sasaeng into our lives?!” Mark shouted at him, finally releasing that anger which Jackson knew so well.

“I’m sorry, Mark. I wasn’t thinking when I decided to go to that police station. I should’ve known that I wouldn’t be the only one affected by my actions. I just felt dead inside after that meeting at the company. I saw their looks, and no matter what you made JYP believe, I know deep down that Got7 was over. Bam, Yuggie, Jae, Jin and JB will never forgive me. I know I cannot undo what I did to you, but I imagined that at least I could pay for what I’ve done somehow.” Jackson replied, trying his best to explain himself, but Mark was tired of listening to his apologies, they had no meaning to him anymore. He felt suffocated. So he walked past the Chinese, opened the bathroom door slightly just to make sure the bedroom was empty, and as soon as he realized that Lee wasn’t really there, he walked into that nightmarish room again. He felt sick to his stomach as he tried to open the door again without success.

“Whose clothes are these? Why am I naked?” Jackson asked, as he examined the flashy garments he was wearing earlier in the bed. Mark paced around the room, trying to ignore the other’s presence.

“You were wearing them, but not for long. Tae-U undressed you while you slept and played with your dick without your consent. But guess what, you seemed to be enjoying it!” Mark spat, as he stopped pacing around the room to glare at the rapper, who didn’t seem too shocked to hear those words.

“If we were still together, I’d understand your jealousy.” Jackson said carelessly as he sat on the edge of the bed and started getting dressed. He didn’t mind how showy they looked, he just wanted to make Mark less uncomfortable.

“I’m not fucking jealous! Did you know that fucker wanted me to pound your ass while you slept? He told me to rape you, Jackson! How does that sound?!” Mark retorted, unable to understand his passivity.

“It sounds peachy to me. I’d love to have you inside me again, Yi-en. Why didn’t you do it?” Jackson said simply, as he held his ex’s appalled gaze.

“Is this some kind of joke to you?! What if it wasn’t me? What if he brought one or two of his men to fuck you up, would you still be this indifferent?”

“It wouldn’t be as fun, but yes, I’d try to enjoy it, even if it was too painful. He can bring a whole football team to fuck my ass, I don’t care. After all, I deserve it. I deserve so much more. Nothing he can do to me compares to what was done to you.” Jackson declared firmly. Mark couldn’t believe what he had just heard. The Chinese seemed completely defeated and ready to follow letter2u’s instructions. That was a problem and Mark knew it had to be fixed before the psycho returned to the room. He came close to the Chinese and opened his arms to display the bruises he got from Lee’s harsh make out session on the carpet. Jackson studied his dorso all over again.

“Look what he did to me, Jack! Are you okay with that? He may want to punish you, but he’ll use me to push your buttons. Do you think I also deserve this kind of torture? Do you think I’ll be able to remain sane if that psycho forces himself on me?! Do you think I like to be treated like a whore?!” Mark knew exactly what he was doing to get a reaction from Jackson and it was working. The rapper’s eyes darkened.

“I won’t let him touch you. I promise you.” Jackson assured him as he kissed both his wrists.

“And how can you protect me if you let him break you?! He wants me all for him, Gaga. You cannot let the man you once loved become the sex slave of a psychopath. You owe me that. You’re the only one I allowed to possess me in that way, he has no right to touch what’s not his. Cause I am yours and I always will be. I love you, Kayee. But we need to get out of here quick, both of us. We cannot let him have his way with us.” Mark’s words seemed to bring new life into the rapper, as he caressed his soft dark locks.

“Not once, I still do. I love you, wo ai ni, Yi-en.” Jackson replied with sincerity as he brought one hand to Mark’s cheeks. The American sighed in despair when he heard those words. He wanted to discard them like trash, but he couldn’t. The sound of Jackson’s native language speaking his name and declaring his love like that sent shivers to his body. His manipulative strategy backfired as he found himself totally lost in the black pool of his ex’s eyes. He didn’t stop the rapper when one of his hands wrapped around his naked waist or when his lips found his. He missed those strong muscular arms around his slender form. He sucked onto the other’s tongue thirstily, as if he needed the younger’s mouth on his to survive. Jackson moaned into that kiss as he pulled Mark closer to him. Their bodies seemed to attach to each other naturally. They both fell on the bed, and within a second, Mark was panting under the Chinese. Jackson straddled him while kissing every inch of Mark’s dorso. The American bit his lips lustfully as he touched the rapper’s thigh and watched him suck on one of his nipples. His hands wandered to Jackson’s crotch as he tried to unzip the tight black leather pants that the rapper had just put on minutes earlier, but the Chinese slapped his hands away as he moved to take off Mark’s pants. The American obliged, lifting his hips a bit so the other could get rid of his boxers too. Jackson licked his lips as he stared at the sight before him. He then unzipped his own pants and lowered his boxers, just enough to rub his erection on Mark’s. He laid his body on top of the American and moved repeatedly back and forth, as the elder moaned loudly with the constant friction of their hard-ons. Jackson groaned as his hot breath reached Mark’s ears. Those sexual noises drove the American to the edge as he captured this ex’s lips in a sloppy kiss. Jackson released his lips just to move down to his neck and give him a painful hickey on the same spot Lee had drew blood earlier. The sensation of having Jackson’s teeth against his skin made Mark come hard on Jack’s stomach.

“Sorry, Gaga. I couldn’t help it.” He whispered as he tried to control his racing heart. Jackson just smirked at him, lust still burning in his eyes, like fire inside his veins. He lifted himself a bit to touch the cum on his abs and coat his fingers on it. He held Mark’s inner thigh up and kissed his lips again. The American was still recovering from the afterglow when he felt one of Jackson’s wet fingers tease his hole.

“Mine. All mine. Only mine. Always mine.” Jackson whispered in his ear as he tried to push one finger inside the elder’s anus, but an alarmed Mark quickly tried to close his legs and push him away from between them. But Jackson didn’t move and reached for the American’s thighs again and spread him open more. Mark’s breath hitched as he felt Jackson’s erection rub his entrance.            

“Don’t. Not there. Let me blow you.” Mark suggested nervously, as he tried to close his legs again. However, Jackson didn’t seem to listen. He had a wild gleam on his dark eyes that Mark knew too well. It was then that he started struggling against the Chinese, but Jackson was stronger than the elder, ruining all his attempts to escape from underneath him.

“You are mine, Yi-en. You’ve just said so yourself, stop denying me now.” His voice was strangely foreign, and his touches were untamed as he captured the American’s unwilling lips in a bruising kiss. Mark bit Jackson’s lower lip as a response, making the other release his mouth. Mark’s eyes watered as he regretted being intimate with him again. He should’ve listened to JB, he should’ve remained loyal to his Jinyoungie and above all, he should’ve kept his word when he swore something to Jackson at that brothel. Remember who just kissed you. Remember whom you’ve just raped. This will never, ever happen again.’

“Please, Jack, stop. I don’t want this. You’re gonna hurt me, don’t hurt me again, please, I beg you.” He felt pathetic as he repeated himself all over again. He felt like such a fool for trusting him again, for thinking that he still loved him. His cries were useless. He felt death approaching as Jackson pinned his arms above his head, and he realized that his body was completely at the younger’s mercy.

“Tell me again that I’m the only one who can possess you like this. Tell me you never loved Jin. Tell me you love me.” The rapper stopped his motions to look into his eyes. Mark opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out of it. He couldn’t utter such lies, even if it meant saving him from the Chinese’s grasp. He would never deny his feelings for Jinyoung, he’d rather die.

“Look at my ring finger. The man who gave me that band is the one who owes my heart. Do what you desire, fuck me in the ass, but that’s all you can have now, a warm hole where you thrust your dick in and fill it with your seed! You may have my body for some minutes, but he owns my soul forever. Like I said before, and I’ll remind you of it now, ‘even if you do this, I won’t feel a thing’.” Mark repeated the same words he told him in Macao and when Jackson glanced at the ring on his finger, he immediately released Mark and grunted in frustration. The American sighed relieved when his hands were set free. He was taken aback for a while, because he never expected that reaction from the younger. Yet, he quickly recovered from the shock, immediately got up from the bed and gathered his boxers and pants from the floor. He meant to make a dash to the bathroom, but before he could reach the door, Jackson appeared out of nowhere, closed it, slapped his face, and roughly pressed Mark’s naked body to the same door.

Let me know if you don’t feel this.” Jackson also repeated the same sentence he told Mark in the brothel and pressed his hard on against his butt cheeks. The slap on the face brought the American terrible memories. He could feel Jackson’s overwhelming weight behind him as his face was rammed against the door. He felt one cold and hard digit trespass his entrance as he started sobbing again. No one would help him, another part of his identity was going to die in that room and there was nothing he could do about it. As that unwanted finger moved inside him, he already could anticipate all the rest. His panicked eyes briefly searched the room and suddenly he was in Macao again. He dissociated. His body wasn’t his anymore, he knew he couldn’t fight the rapper, he didn’t even bother to. His eyes glazed over and he was just not there.                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

“Mark, wake up. Please baby, it’s me Jinyoungie.”

Chapter Text

Mark woke up in another room. He wasn’t in his apartment, he quickly noticed that. Another thing he couldn’t miss, was his boyfriend’s presence beside him. They were both in the same bed. However, shame didn’t allow the elder to look his lover in the eye. He sat up, glanced around the room and he was relieved to see it wasn’t the one he was with Jackson earlier. He just wondered when he had blacked out or when he had put his clothes back on.

“We were so worried! I’m so glad you’re okay. Are you hurt anywhere?” The singer asked as he ran a hand through the American’s hair. The elder avoided his gaze, still confused.

“Who’s ‘we’? Where is this place?” Mark asked quickly.

“I’m sorry to say we are still at Lee’s mansion. He just locked us up together in a different room. I mean, the whole group is here somewhere. Lee’s men brought us not long after you two left the apartment.” Jinyoung informed him as he ran a hand through his hyung’s hair.

“Did he do anything to you, or the others?” Mark asked nervously, but the other only shook his head before he could answer him.

“I don’t think so, at least not physically.” Jinyoung replied, a trace of resentment in his voice.

“Jackson is here too, I was with him earlier.” Mark confessed as he bit his lower lip. Guilt and shame haunted his mind as he struggled to meet Jinyoung’s eyes.

“I know, I saw everything.” The singer sighed frustrated. His expression was a mix of disappointment and concern. Mark looked at him quizzically, unable to understand what the other meant by ‘saw everything’.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tae-U made me watch, Mark. There were cameras in the room you two were in. That psychopath locked me up here with a laptop.” Jinyoung’s tone was uncomfortable, his boyfriend noticed that. The elder’s heart skipped a beat.

“What are you saying, what did you see?!” Mark inquired, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed. He didn’t want to imagine that Lee would force his boyfriend to watch what happened in the nightmarish ‘Macao room’.

“You and Jackson.” Jinyoung wore a hurt expression on his face as he got up from the bed and stared hard at him.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Mark demanded, as the younger massaged his temples, obviously stressed.

“Are you deaf, Mark, or do you have amnesia again?” the singer raised his voice, but regretted it the second he saw Mark’s eyes water.

“You saw what he did to me?” the American’s voice was full of angst.

“You mean, what you did to each other!” Jinyoung corrected him impatiently.

“How can you say that? He forced himself on me again. I didn’t want to!” Mark cried, feeling wronged.

“What?! You guys were in bed enjoying some heavy petting session when you started to freak out! Even Jackson didn’t know what to do when you started talking by yourself or when you started pounding the walls. You were having some sort of panic attack or something. Thank God, that cheap Markson porn didn’t go too far. At least your own trauma protected you from making stupid decisions based solely on lust. I guess somewhere in your subconscious, you knew that shit couldn’t go on.” Jinyoung spat. The Korean was extremely upset. He hated the fact that his hyung had let his guard down and allowed the rapper to seduce him.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

“No, that’s not what happened! Didn’t you see him push me against that door and ram his finger into me?” Mark argued, sounding quite offended to hear those words from his boyfriend. His sobs increased. The singer’s frown deepened into worry as he tried to find words to explain the previous events of that night to his troubled lover.

“That’s what you think it happened? Mark, you guys were in bed when you started hallucinating or something. You were dreaming awake! You were acting the same way you did at Kookie’s party before you fell from the stairs. You were completely out of it. Believe me when I say I saw everything. Why would I lie to you?!” Jinyoung tried to reason with him. The Korean didn’t know if he should be preoccupied with his hyung’s mental state or simply mad at his infidelity.

“So what?! Am I going crazy or something? You’re saying it’s all in my head?” Mark protested as he scowled at the other’s comment. However, he didn’t feel physically uncomfortable or hurt anywhere, except for the neck bite Lee had given him. He knew that if Jackson had really done something awful to him, he would be aching all over, and he wouldn’t be able to sit straight in that bed.

“I’m sorry, but you’re wrong about him. I hate to defend the guy, and I actually wish you’d resist him at least a little for the sake of our relationship, yet, you didn’t. Despite all the shit he did to you in the past, at least tonight, everything was consensual and...There was no forced penetration whatsoever. I do not know what you’ve seen during your trance, and I know it was probably horrific, but he didn’t rape you in that room. So yeah, it’s all in your head. Your body went into some sort of fight-or-flight mode, that’s all. Being that intimate with him again, in a place that looked exactly like the one where it happened must’ve triggered something, who knows? That surely would’ve messed up someone’s head.” Jinyoung told him, carefully. The singer was torn between his irritation and his desire to assure his hyung that he wasn’t violated again. He approached the bed again and touched Mark’s shoulder, but the other avoided his contact and covered his face with both hands to hide his shame.

“How did I get here? Who put these clothes on me?” The elder asked in a weak voice.

“After panicking and screaming a lot you blacked out. They brought you here unconscious and wrapped up in a blanket, so I cleaned you up and our sasaeng kindly gave me some clean clothes to put on you.” The Korean answered with a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I told you about this before, Jin. I’m damaged goods.” He said in a weak voice as tears clouded his vision.

“I don’t see you that way. I told you before, that you’ll always be perfect in my eyes. Even though I’m deeply hurt by what has just happened, my love for you remains intact. I just wonder why you are wearing this ring, if you are clearly still hung up on him?” the younger asked as he pointed to the band on Mark’s finger, no trace of judgment in his voice.

“I love you, that’s why.” The elder replied promptly with confidence. He removed his hands from his face to stare deeply into Jinyoung’s pained eyes.

“You can’t love us both.” The younger asserted as he felt his heart crush inside his chest. He was aware of his boyfriend’s internal conflict and he knew he had to give him time to sort himself out.

“It’s not like I can’t control it. You cannot leave me because of something that’s not even my fault!” Mark exclaimed, fearing the outcome of that conversation.

“Mark, we shouldn’t have started something so soon…And I kinda feel that I pressured you into dating, I mean, I mentioned engagement, I gave you a ring and I did all I could to secure my place by your side. I was selfish, baby. And even if you can’t see that now, you’ll realize it later. That’s why we need some time away from each other. You’ve got to be your own person and then you need to heal. I’m not getting in the way of your recovery or your future decisions.” Jinyoung’s lips quivered, but he held back his tears. He had convinced himself that things would be better that way.

“Jinyoungie, I know I have a lot of baggage, but please, don’t break up with me. I’ll get better, just don’t.” The American jumped into the Korean’s arms and hugged him as if it was the last time.

“We need this, baby. I’ll give you enough space to reflect on what you really want, I’ll let you sort out your feelings with care and if afterwards you find out that you still want me, and only me, come looking for me. I’ll always be waiting.” The singer held both Mark’s cheeks and kissed his lips. The contact was brief but sweet and the American couldn’t help but try to reach for the other’s lips again, even though he knew he shouldn’t. If he kept clinging onto his dongsaeng like that, he knew it would be even harder to let go. However, the Korean allowed the contact again and gripped the back of the American’s neck to pull him even closer to him. They both deepened the kiss. It was goodbye for now, so they deserved that moment. The lovers would miserably miss instants like that.

They were suddenly interrupted by a figure who appeared at the door and applauded their passionate gesture with a vicious smile on his lips. They didn’t even realize when that person had entered the room, yet, they were promptly disgusted by his presence.

“You guys almost brought me to tears! That was lovely to watch, but you have to go home now. The others are anxiously waiting in the living room. I’m afraid this night has taken a heavy toll on all of us. It looks like the kids need to go to their own beds.” Lee chuckled as the two immediately got up from the bed. Jinyoung had to stop Mark from advancing towards their host.

“You fucking piss of shit, are you trying to drive us all crazy or something?! That’s what you call a freakin’ date? That’s torture!” the American shouted at Lee, who just laughed at his misery. Jinyoung had to keep a strong hold on his hyung’s arm to keep him from slapping the sasaeng. The singer was aware that the whole Got7 was in that mansion somewhere, and if they intended to leave that place unharmed, angering the owner of the house was not the best approach to take.

“It didn’t sound like torture when you were moaning underneath Jackson.” Lee shot back, with a sneer. That reply was enough to silence Mark. His dongsaeng made and uncomfortable noise behind him and let his arm go, but the elder didn’t dare to move.

“What about Jackson? Is he coming too?” the singer asked coldly, as the owner of the house raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not really. This date night was a disaster and Mark here didn’t keep his side of the bargain. He should’ve given me everything I expected from him. He should’ve had dinner with me, he should’ve chatted me up, he should’ve taken his revenge and he should’ve had thrown away whatever vestige of feelings he still had for that man! Yet, he goes to bed with him. Tonight was a massive failure, so, Wang is staying!” the sasaeng retorted, finishing his tirade with a smirk on his face.

“I didn’t bed him.” A defensive Mark corrected him, earning a displeased huff from Jinyoung and a giggle from the other.

“You didn’t rape him either! You were supposed to make him suffer, not to make him come!” Lee rolled his eyes at him, obviously disappointed with the turn of events.

“Only a dysfunctional mind like yours could imagine Mark doing something like that! He’s incapable of it. Whenever he and Jackson are together, the only one who gets hurt is Mark. Haven’t you noticed that yet?” Jinyoung argued, tired of discussion that subject. Lee just huffed.

“Jackson and I didn’t fuck! Can we move on from that topic?” Mark’s voice almost begged.

“Technicalities, dear. By the way, you kinda freaked me out when you started losing touch with the present back there. It must’ve felt like the attack was happening all over again, right? Interesting. I should’ve guessed that you would be hyper sensitive to the amount of stimuli inside that room. But let’s forget about that now. You’ve been locked up for too long. Come with me outside, will you?” Lee walked out of the room as the other two followed suit.

The couple met the other Got7 members at Lee’s large front yard. A big van was supposed to take them back to their places and away from Lee’s presence. They felt quite relieved and immensely glad to see Mark in one piece when he entered the vehicle. They gave him and Jinyoung a group hug. None of them dared to ask about Jackson. They immediately understood that whatever Lee demanded from Mark that night he wasn’t able to get it. The van dropped the Got7 members at their own apartments and even though the eldest of the group wanted to crash at Jinyoung’s, he didn’t dare to ask the singer if he could spend the rest of the night at his place. The other members noticed that something was definitely odd between the couple, but no one said anything about it. They were extremely tired and all the idols wanted was to lay on their own beds and forget that whole kidnapping deed.

In the morning, JYP requested a meeting with the whole group at the company. The six young men knew that their boss had certainly reached a decision regarding the whole 2jae scandal and Jacksons’ disappearance. Got7 didn’t know what to expect, but they knew they had to remain brothers and support each other the best way they could. At 8:30 AM the weary idols were at the waiting room of their boss’s office, but the meeting was supposed to start at 7. JYP’s secretary told them to wait while her boss discussed some matters with a group of sponsors. And it was that very waiting which caused their moods to lower tragically.

“How much longer he’ll make us wait?” JB thought out loud. He looked stressed and anxious. The six of them clearly didn’t sleep a wink, although they were mentally and physically exhausted.

“If he’s taking all this time just to say that we are fired, I’m really gonna deck him.” Jinyoung stated, earning apprehensive looks from his bandmates, especially from his eldest hyung.

“Maybe he’s found out about letter2u’s latest activities. Think about it, perhaps he is inclined to help us get rid of that maniac. I mean, Jackson is being held hostage by that sasaeng, and he’s one of JYPE’s most valuable artists at the moment! It’s because of that loony that the 2jae video became a scandal, and the tour was cancelled. I mean, if the boss doesn’t know what the hell is going on, we should give him a heads up about our eminent end. We should put the blame on the right person, Lee Tae-U.” Bambam voiced his thoughts as his friends pondered his words.

“And what happens when the boss finds out what Sseunah did to Mark? Do you think he’s gonna be sympathetic towards us when he learns that we hid the fact that they dated for years, or that now Jinyoung is the one in a relationship with Mark? And what about Jinyoung’s one night stand with Jackson? This MarkJinSon thing happening right under his nose and only now that we’re in a bind, we decide to let him know. I’m not sure if he’s gonna take that well. We were careless, we gave Lee all the material he needed to blackmail us. We are on our own.” Youngjae reminded him, not ready to see his coworkers go through the same kind of humiliation he had to go through when the video on the roof was leaked. He still couldn’t stand some comments he read online or the constant worried calls of his family and friends. Both JB and him denied that they were the ones in the video. Whoever asked about it, they’d try to convince the person that such a fake footage was surely the work of a mindless 2jae shipper. Yet, not everyone’s doubts were dispelled easily.

“Jin and I are not together anymore.” Mark announced shortly and the moment those words were out of his mouth, curious eyes turned to him in shock.

“What did you do, Jinyoung hyung?” Yugyeom, who was unusually quiet all that time, inquired raspingly, his tone was far from being friendly.

“What makes you think I did something wrong?! I was the one who suggested we took a break from each other, not the other way around.” the singer defended himself, trying not to start an argument. The group frowned at that revelation.

“When did it happen? Yesterday? You did that because he agreed to a date that could save someone’s life? Look, my friend, I know we’re not exactly Jackson’s greatest fans at the moment, but we do understand why Mark walked into that mansion willingly. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not a reason to break up with him.” Jaebeom commented as he eyed his dongsaeng awkwardly. The singer avoided his scrutinizing look, he didn’t want to have that kind of conversation at the moment. He wasn’t going to reveal the motive of the break up either, but the American, to his surprise, quickly clarified the situation to his band mates.

“That’s not the reason he did it. I cheated on him, with Jackson.” Mark said simply as the others looked at him agape. The singer was rendered speechless with his straightforwardness.

“You did what?!” Yugyeom stood up from his chair and was about to say something else when the door of JYP’s office opened and they were asked to come inside. Nothing would prepare them for that moment. After 5 years of being together, that moment could be their last at JYP Entertainment. They didn’t know what to expect, so they just entered the room quietly. The first thing they noticed were the voices inside the room. Two people were talking with JYP, one person was at his left and the other was on his right. The idols were too flabbergasted to say anything. They stood frozen next to the door, unable to take their seats at the large table where their boss chatted excitedly with the other two individuals.

“What’s wrong with you boys?! Don’t be shy, I want to introduce you to someone. You will have a new manager now, since the other one wasn’t able to handle you guys well. This one is a bit young, but very hardworking. I’m sure you’ll all get along well. God knows we need some new blood in this company to help me handle this latest scandal. He’s full of ideas and it’s impossible not to like him.” JYP said as he patted the young man’s back. The others gasped, still unable to utter a single word.

“Nice to meet you all, I’m Lee Tae-U. Since I’m just starting in the company, I hope you guys can go easy on me. I assure you we’ll do a great job together.” the new manager said politely. He didn’t look like a manager at all, he just looked like an idol. He just looked like a cheap version of Got7’s Mark Tuan. No one dared to shake the hand he extended to them. The sasaeng’s venomous smirk was skillfully disguised by a shy and innocent smile.

“Where the hell is our manager? Is this some kind of joke?” JB approached his boss, too upset to keep looking at the psycho standing in front of him.

“Our former manager was fired. This kid here is all we have now. You should be grateful that the boss decided to give us a second chance. So, before you do anything you might regret, buddy, I’ll have to ask you to shut up and calm down.” The other man finally spoke. The sound of his voice was unusual, but all the other members took their own seats when he advised the leader. There was a threat behind those words, and the group knew that.

“That’s right! You guys are in no position to complain about anything. Since the tour isn’t happening anymore and your fellow comrade Jackson Wang is finally back, I gotta put you guys to work. The idle brain is the devil's playground, isn’t that right? Lee has some ideas, follow his instructions. I’m sure he’ll be able to clean this horrible mess of yours. Now if you excuse me, boys, I have other meetings to attend.” JYP declared, as he walked out of the room.

“Jackson, are you all right? How come you are here? Did you make some kind of deal with the devil or something?” Bambam asked alarmed, as his eyes travelled from Lee to his Chinese member.

“No worries, Bam. He has all his limbs and organs where they are supposed to be. Now I need you to shut up. You guys ought to listen to my idea for Got7’s next step into success.” Lee replied impatiently as he rolled his eyes at the Thai idol.

“You set him free just like that? You don’t actually believe that we are going to work with both of you, right?” Yugyeom retorted, still bothered by the brief conversation the group had minutes ago. Lee just dismissed his words with a wave of his hand.

“Did you call your parents already?” Mark asked tentatively as he turned to face the rapper, but the other ignored him. Actually, Jackson did not even acknowledge his presence when he entered the room. That was a first. Whenever Mark entered a room and Jackson happened to be there, the Chinese’s eyes were conditioned to immediately find his, but something had definitely changed. The American wasn’t sure how to feel about that, yet, he couldn’t hide his hurtful expression when the other didn’t answer him. Jinyoung who observed the two, frowned at Jackson’s indifference, but said nothing.

“You are destroying us, Lee. That video almost ruined mine and JB hyung’s career! I’m not sure if you realize that, but GOT7 is coming undone. Please stop playing with us and just tell us what you really want.” Youngjae spoke, with a voice full of anguish. The younger wondered how many other compromising footages of 2jae were in the psycho’s possession.

“I’m your number one AhGaSe! Do not worry about the band’s future now that I’m 24/7 with you, boys! In the beginning, all I ever craved for was Mark, but with time, I realized I could do more for you all. Bit by bit I’m allowing the world to acknowledge Got7’s worth. The scandals attracted attention of the media, but your music and talent kept them interested in the group. South Korea was too stupid for not giving you 7 the attention you guys deserved years ago. I’ve opened this country’s eyes! Then I projected its vision overseas. This group became a global phenomenon because of letter2u and I hope you guys don’t forget that.” Lee displayed a maniacal smile after his brief speech, but, it was Jackson’s outlandish voice that caught the others’ attention.

“We are going to Jeju Island. Our new manager brought to us the suggestion of a reality show that should be filmed in there. The boss loved the idea. No staff is coming with us. Lee is going to shoot us solely with an iPhone. It’s something simple, raw, smart. It hasn’t been done in the K-pop industry. No script, no make-up, no brand clothing, no dyed hair. We’re gonna be 100% honest with our viewers.” The rapper declared, earning weird looks from his peers.

“Oh and what are we supposed to talk about while we’re in there!? Because if we’re gonna be totally frank with the viewers, I can already imagine which topics we’re gonna openly discuss between ourselves. Rape, betrayal, PTSD, suicide, self-harming, blackmailing, torture, kidnapping, cheating, LGBTQ rights, perhaps? Are you out of your mind? I can’t believe you’re okay with this!” Bambam complained to his hyung, as he threw both his hands in the air exasperated.

“Exactly! That’s the spirit, kid! No one will miss an episode of this show! It’s gonna be a groundbreaking experience for your fans. We are going to shock, we are going to be thought provoking! People will start to wonder if we’re promoting some kind of mockumentary or if we’re presenting the real Got7 through their screens. They’ll be able to watch the whole thing on Got7’s official YouTube channel. Got7 will be a pioneer in this kind of thing. Trust me, we’re gonna change the history of entertainment in Korea.” Lee assured the group with an insanely proud smile. The leader felt his blood boil, he never felt so compelled to kill someone.

“And JYP agreed with all that?” he inquired, unable to believe what he was listening.

“Well, he doesn’t want JYP Entertainment to be included in the Burning Sun scandal. Look what happened to YG Entertainment’s founder and their artists. No CEO is ready to give up everything he has built throughout the years.” Lee smirked maliciously.

“Did you have anything to do with that?” Yugyeom asked abruptly. The others looked attentively at the sasaeng, wondering if that whole sex scandal in Seoul was really his doing.

“We don’t have to worry about any of that if we just follow the rules.” Jackson stated without emotion.

“And now you’re his fucking pet or something?” Jinyoung sounded angrier than he was the day before that meeting. He wasn’t able to get over what happened the past night. He hated to watch Mark and Jackson sharing the same room or breathing the same air. He wasn’t ready to give up on Mark. He had already regretted asking the American for a break. He knew his lover was hurting. Seeing Jackson free and unconcerned about their situation was really getting on his nerves.  

“We all are.” The Chinese replied simply and before he or anyone in that room could say or do anything else, with hands balled into fists, the singer stood up from his chair, walked up to the rapper and started throwing punches at his foreign member.

While all the others tried to get Jinyoung off Jackson, Lee started laughing maniacally.

“This is gonna be fun.” Letter2u exclaimed as his fit of laughter increased considerably.

Chapter Text

The trip to Jeju was quieter than they thought. Got7 arrived at the island without Lee, since the new manager claimed he needed to do something in Seoul before joining them. No one really cared if he ever showed up there. In fact, they were relieved to know that the sasaeng was miles away from them, at least for a while. There were four rooms in the lodging that was rented for the reality show recording. The sleeping arrangements were decided quite easily. Jackson promptly announced that he would stay in a room by himself, one that he could share with Lee later when he arrived. The members didn’t argue him out of it. They were convinced that Jackson had some kind of secret agreement with the man, and by the way he was behaving, it was a life-threatening one. Jaebeom knew that he would be responsible to find out what was going on, since he was sure the other members wouldn’t dare to approach the Chinese, but he wasn’t in a hurry to accomplish that task. Aware of the possible hidden cameras in the place, the rest of the group decided to separate themselves according to the age order of the members. That way, temptation would be avoided and they wouldn’t give letter2u more 2Jae or MarkJin footage to use against them. Therefore, they settled for a MarkBeom room, a YugBam room and a JinJae room. The idols started to unpack after deciding which pair was going to cook, and which pair was going to wash the dishes. As expected, a few rock-paper-scissors rounds determined who was going to get their hands dirty and who would gladly stay away from the kitchen. Luck determined that Jinyoung and Youngjae would be the ones responsible for the food, while Yugyeom and Bambam would take care of the cleaning. That result left Jaebeom and Mark free to do whatever they wanted during that time. Therefore, JB called his hyung outside while the youngsters were distracted with their phones. The lodging had a beautiful garden and wood benches, which allowed the pair to sit comfortably and strike up a conversation. The sun felt warm and welcoming. The clear blue sky and the ocean’s breeze somehow, calmed the agitation within the oldest members of Got7.

“When I get old and retire, I might find a place here and enjoy the climate of this island for the rest of my days.” JB commented casually.

“Retiring seems like a tempting idea right now.” The American said as he observed the natural wonders that surrounded them.

“This might be our last trip together as a group. Let’s just forget about our problems for a while, at least until Tae-U gets here.” JB suggested, tiredly.

“Aren’t you going to talk to Jackson? He’s been inside that room for too long. Maybe he’s reporting to his master, or something. You should keep an eye on him.” Mark declared, unable to get his mind off their current situation. Being around the Chinese was even harder for him after what happened at Lee’s mansion, yet, he knew it would be almost impossible to avoid his ex during that trip. He was also intrigued by Jackson’s behavior around Tae-U and he feared the possibility of an alliance between the two.

“I’ll handle him later. By the way, did you really sleep with him, after everything he did to you?” JB hated to think that Mark was still in denial and that Jinyoung got hurt in the process.

“It wasn’t like that.” The American’s voice was almost a whisper. His anguished expression worried the leader. Jaebeom was aware that his best friend wasn’t in good shape either. Jinyoung was extremely short-fused lately and that wasn’t a good sign. Something had to be done, fast.

“Tell me about you and Jinyoung. Is it really over?” JB changed the direction of that conversation quickly. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out what was going on between Mark and the Chinese. But it had to end once and for all. He didn’t want to be the one to tell Jackson to stay away from Jinyoung and Mark, but he knew he would have to intervene at some point. He just wished he could delay that talk with the rapper a little more, in order to plan carefully what he would to say to him.

“According to him, it’s just a break. I’m really not sure. He’s not in his best moods these days, obviously. It’s difficult to approach him, but perhaps, if it’s you asking, he might open up. Anyways, if you manage to get an answer out of him, just let me know what he thinks.” Mark sighed in frustration, not feeling comfortable enough to discuss his heartache at that moment. He didn’t want to remember the look of disappointment in his beloved eyes when they were at Lee’s mansion. Being around the singer and not being able to be close to him was excruciating to Mark now. He regretted deeply what had happened between him and Jackson. If he had known he would feel as miserable he felt at that moment, he would have never let the rapper touch him again in the first place. The American planned to properly apologize to Jinyoung, but he didn’t know how. He was convinced that his words weren’t enough to change the young man’s mind. The American tried to block the insidious thoughts that threatened to torment him. He didn’t want to think about the length of that break and he didn’t want to cry in front of JB either.

“Okay, I will.” His dongsaeng seemed to understand his hyung’s struggles and didn’t ask him any more questions concerning that subject.

“Why don’t you tell me about you and Jae’s progress? Is he still a virgin?” Mark asked out of the blue and couldn’t help but smile a bit when he noticed how JB easily blushed.

“We’re taking baby steps. I don’t wanna hurry anything.” JB answered as he run a hand through his hair a bit disconcerted.

“Hurry? Come on JB, do you know how long that kid has been waiting for you? I guess you are the one who’s worrying too much.” Mark commented raising an eyebrow at the younger.

“Maybe you’re right. This is all new for me too, I have zero experience with men. I’m not sure of what to do, or how to make him properly feel good. What if I do something wrong? I wouldn’t bear to see him cry because of me. I don’t wanna hurt him.” JB confessed anxiously, as he met Mark’s eyes for support. The elder immediately understood the root of his uneasiness.

“For Christ sake, JB! You’re not Jackson, okay? What happened between him and me was really bad, but it shouldn’t give you the wrong idea about what sex between two men really is. What happened in Macao wasn’t consensual, there was no love involved. Look, the last thing I want is for my story with Jackson to have that kind of impact in your relationship with Jae. You just have to respect each other’s boundaries and I’m sure you two will be just fine.” Mark seemed genuinely concerned now.

“But he’s so fragile and pure. I don’t wanna ruin that innocence of his. I mean, I’ve already been with women before, but he hasn’t, the kid is literally immaculate. He’s kinda untouchable sometimes.” JB argued, as indecision clouded his features.

“For fuck’s sake, man. You sound like a priest. Do you know how ridiculous you’re being right now? Would you rather if another guy slept with him first or something?! Just give him what he wants. And all he wants is you.” Mark calmly tried to reassure his dongseang the best he could.

“He says we should do it and that he is ready, but I have my doubts.” JB looked conflicted a he eyed the wavering moves of the leaves of a faraway tree.

“Whatever doubt you have, a great gay porn can clarify it to you.” The elder winked at him playfully, but the other’s face flushed even more with embarrassment.

“That’s gross, seriously. I tried to watch it once, but it’s too disgusting, and cheap. I just couldn’t picture myself doing that to him.” JB said honestly, earning a frown from his hyung.

“Are you really gay?” Mark started feeling concerned for Jae. Maybe JB was just confused and if that was the case, Youngjae would suffer a huge blow once he found out about it.

“I like him a lot. I love kissing him and doing stuff, but that’s it.” JB stammered.

“Define stuff.” Mark asked shortly.

“Handjobs, blowjobs.” The other almost whispered as if he was confessing a terrible crime.

“You never even fingered each other?” Mark asked, trying to understand what actually was stopping his donsaeng from taking the next step with his lover.

“No! Nothing like that.” Jaebeom stated quickly.

“Do you want me to show you how?” the American pondered his own question, but he was uncertain of how the leader would interpret it.

“What?!” he looked scandalized.

“Is that a no?” Mark studied his face a bit closer.

“Are you for real? What about Jinyoung?” JB’s voice almost faltered.

“What about him? As far as I know, I’m single right now.” Mark hated to be reminded of that.

“Markie, you’re talking about my best friend. I wasn’t born yesterday, okay? I know how you guys feel about each other. You’re just mad at him because he left you, that’s why you’re asking me that.” the leader said abruptly, too taken aback to ponder his words before actually saying them.

“Are you implying that I want to use you to make him jealous? Or that perhaps I’m trying to shag his best friend to fulfill some kind of secret revenge for that time he slept with Jackson?” Mark looked mad, but before JB could apologize, the American stood up and walked back to the lodging. JB immediately felt bad for being so blunt and didn’t think twice before going after his hyung. As he passed the kitchen, two alarmed pair of eyes followed his movements.

“What’s wrong? What happened to him?” Jinyoung asked with apprehension as he stopped chopping some onions, to look at JB. Youngjae stirred a pot on the stove and eyed the two at the same time. He was also curious to know what happened.

“I just said some things that I shouldn’t. Don’t worry, I’m gonna fix this.” JB answered guiltily.

“You’d better.” It was Yugyeom’s voice who came from the living room. He was still sitting on the couch with Bambam, playing on his phone and with headphones on. The elder wondered how the maknae was able to hear them in the kitchen.     

“Before you go I think we should decide what to do about Jackson. He just left by the back door without saying where he was going or what he was going to do. The guy is acting too suspicious, and we do not know what his deal with Lee is.” Bambam suggested, as he got up from the couch and sat at the kitchen’s counter.      

“What exactly do you expect me to do, Bam? Go after him, invite him for a walk on the beach and ask if he’s still one of us? It’s clear he’s not, because we cast him out. We all had our reasons, all right. But if he chooses to be best friends with the enemy now, there’s nothing we can do about it.” Jaebeom turned to the Thai boy as he crossed his arms in annoyance.

“Tae-U already causes us enough headache, I think that if there’s a chance we can keep Jackson on our side we shouldn’t waste it.” Youngjae commented, but quickly shut his mouth again when Jinyoung gave him a dirty look.

“They deserve each other, in fact, I think they are a match made in heaven. We don’t need Jackson on our side. We need both of them to stay away from us. And whoever thinks he should join us, should join them.” Jinyoung almost yelled at Youngjae, throwing the pan lid the other was holding at the sink. The singer’s temper rose too quickly. Usually he wouldn’t lose his composure in the worst situations, but lately he couldn’t hold back his anger like before. Bambam frowned at explosion. Jaebeom placed himself in front of Youngjae just in case and Yugyeom walked to the kitchen alarmed with the commotion.

“Hyungs, we shouldn’t fight amongst ourselves. We don’t have time for that. I’ve just received instructions from letter2u.” the maknae said, as he approached the leader to show him the text message he had just received from their new manager. The others immediately surrounded the younger to have a look at his cell phone screen.

‘It’s a beautiful sunny day in Jeju. You all have breathtaking places to go this afternoon. The team YugBam will be visiting the Jeju Teddy Bear Museum, have fun kids! The team 2Jae will be visiting the Loveland Park, it’s time to lose your innocence darlings! And finally, my favorite trio MarkJinSon will have a lovely time at Monsant café, maybe it’s time to bury the hatchet, guys. A van will be picking you all up at 3PM. Be ready! By the way, each date must have the duration of two hours. Remember, dress casually, no make up, no scripted dialogues. Just be yourselves. I’ll be watching.”

“Why the hell is this idiot sending us to see a collection of stupid teddy bears?” Bambam protested as he turned to Yugyeom who just shrugged his shoulders.

“That means he’s already in the Island? There will be people with secret cameras filming these places we’re going to visit or something? What is Jeju Loveland?” Youngjae asked innocently. JB’s heart almost melted as he looked glanced at the oblivious younger.

“It’s a place full of erotic sculptures. Don’t worry, It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t say here that we have to do anything. Let’s just be ourselves. It might even be entertaining.” Jaebeom answered him sweetly as he patted his hair. Youngjae smiled brightly at the leader, while the others looked away, making ‘ews’ and fake puke sounds. Their funny reactions dissipated when a displeased Jackson entered by the door.

“Have you all seen Lee’s text, already?” the Chinese asked abruptly facing the group. The others just nodded at him. He hadn’t looked them in the eyes for a while. He kinda missed them. In fact, there was a pair of cinnamon eyes he missed even more.

“Is this shitty idea yours or your whore’s? What the heck are the three of us supposed to do sitting in a goddamned Café for 2 fucking hours?” Jinyoung walked up to the rapper menacingly. The other 3 members were agape. They had never heard Jinyoung use so much cursing in one single sentence. The rapper didn’t feel intimidated. The black eye and the huge bruise on his cheek still marked his face, yet they were only there because Jackson allowed Jinyoung to hurt him in that meeting. But he wasn’t sure if during that trip he was still feeling like a turn-the-other-cheek kind of guy.

“Lee is not my whore, at least, not anymore. And no, it wasn’t my idea. He’s not the kind of person who accepts other people’s suggestions. Believe me, I’ve tried.” Jackson replied coolly, as he stared hard at his enraged dongsaeng. They just eyed each other intensely, as if they were considering who should start throwing the first punches. JB was about to intervene when an agitated Mark entered the kitchen.

“Tae-U’s text didn’t say anything about a freaking staring contest. You two stop that, now.” The elder’s stern voice was enough to make the pair break the hostile eye contact. They glanced at the American, but quickly looked away.

“Lunch is ready. We should eat. It’s gonna be a long afternoon.” Youngjae announced with a bashful smile on his lips, as the youngsters started to set the table.

“How many plates? Is he joining us for lunch?” Bambam asked to no one in particular. Everybody knew he was talking about Jackson, the Thai boy just refused to ask the rapper that question directly.

“Why not? You guys made enough food and we should all stay inside, since Tae-U already made contact. We don’t know if it’s safe out there. Put 7 dishes on the table, Bam.” The American answered, already considering to eat in the living room. When he tried to approach Jinyoung the younger took a step back.

“You know what? I’m not hungry, enjoy your meal. I guess, I’m gonna take a walk outside. I’ll come back later for the date.” Jinyoung said sourly as he took off his apron and walked to the front door. Mark swiftly followed him and held his arm.

“Please don’t go, Jinyoungie. I’ll eat in my room if it makes easier for you.” Mark whispered in a begging manner. The singer’s eyes watered as he felt the burning touch of Mark’s hands on his arm.

“Don’t you dare ask me to stay.” Jinyoung said harshly as he pushed the elder’s hands away and finally walked out the door. Mark hated to see Jinyoung cry and he hated even more to be the reason of his burden. He didn’t know how that MarkJinSon date at the Café could work. The American sighed in defeat as he returned to the kitchen. Only Jaebeom and Youngjae were eating at the table.

“Where are the others?” Mark asked wearily reaching for a chair.

“The kids took their plates to their rooms and after that Jackson did the same.” Youngjae replied a bit sad. He missed those days when the 7 of them wouldn’t have any problem with sharing the same table or the same food.

“Is Jin gonna be okay?” JB turned Mark as the elder joined them at the table.

“I don’t know.” The American answered sincerely.

“You never told us how you found Jackson at Lee’s mansion.” JB inquired cautiously.

“You mean, how we ended up in bed.” Mark corrected the leader, as Youngjae gasped.

“So you did cheat on Jinyoung hyung. How is that even possible? And with Jackson!?” Youngjae was perplexed. He couldn’t understand why Mark would do that with someone who had hurt him so terribly.

“We didn’t actually have sex, but he made me feel good and I let him touch me. Force of habit, I guess.” The American gave them a disheartened smile. He didn’t want to provide them the details of that night. He would never have the courage to tell his friends he had a panic attack while he and Jackson were in bed. He didn’t want to remember that room and how it made him feel, how it made him want to leave his own body.

“Are you sure Lee didn’t make you guys do it?” JB asked, still unconvinced.

“Nope, he didn’t have to. The truth is I’ve been in a toxic relationship with Jack for too long and I had never been with someone for that long. Maybe I got addicted to it and I’m unable to keep a healthy relationship with someone else. I’m fucked up in the head that way. I’m still attracted to Jackson whether I want to admit that, or not. I do love Jinyoung, and I know he doesn’t deserve to be the victim of my indecision. To be honest, I’m starting to believe that he is better off without me.” Mark concluded as a tear slipped from the corner of his eyes.

“Hey, huyng, don’t say that. You deserve to be happy too. I’m sure Jinyoung hyung will give you a second chance if you ask him.” Youngjae tried to console the pained American who hadn’t even touched his food.

“Let’s not discuss this matter anymore. It clearly makes you miserable. Just eat something.” JB suggested, already feeling useless for not being able to fix the problems within the group anymore. He might’ve failed as a leader but he wished he wouldn’t fail as a friend too.

“I’m gonna rest for a bit. I’ll eat later.” Mark announced as he got up from his chair and went to his and JB’s room. The couple’s distressed eyes followed him till he closed the door behind him.

“Maybe we should change rooms. Get Jinyoung in there and lock them up till they make up.” A pensive Youngjae suggested.

“Nah! We’ve tried this before, it didn’t work. Jinyoung is not easy to forgive stuff like this. He’s pretty stubborn. Maybe Mark is right, Jin doesn’t need all this drama. Taking some time away from each other might be the wisest thing to do now.” JB couldn’t help but take his best friend’s side, though. He knew the American wasn’t to blame, but he believed the elder was the one sabotaging that relationship. He thought Mark feared getting too involved with someone again because he didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Jaebeom believed that it would take some time for Mark to realize that Jackson and Jinyoung were completely different individuals.

“Promise me we will never be that complicated.” Youngjae ran a hand through his hair worriedly.

“I think we already have our own complications.” JB winked at him playfully as he put a hand on the younger’s thigh. Youngjae blushed, yet, did the same to him. However, when his hands traveled to JB’s crotch, the leader got up from the table abruptly.

“What is it now?” Youngjae asked, quite displeased.

“Let’s not start something we cannot finish. There might be cameras in here, remember?” JB felt like losing control, taking his boyfriend in his arms and ravishing the younger right there on that kitchen table. But he was still conflicted about taking Youngjae’s virginity. He liked the idea of having sex with him, but he actually had no intention on acting on those feelings so soon. He wanted Youngjae’s first time to be perfect and he wanted to do things right.

“Do you think I’m ugly?” Youngjae asked dejectedly as he rested his chin on the table.

“Never.” JB answered lovingly, as he returned to where his boyfriend was, kissed his cheek softly and back hugged him.

“I’m starting to think you plan to keep me a virgin for the rest of my life.” Youngjae joked, while doubts grew inside him. He wasn’t sure if JB liked him with the same intensity he loved him. After all, the word ‘love’ was never mentioned by the leader.

“That wouldn’t be a bad idea.” The leader replied jokingly, but Youngjae tensed at those words and just couldn’t keep that fake smile on his face anymore.

“I’m gonna finish unpacking, see you later for our date, okay?” the younger escaped from his bear hug and left the kitchen with tears clouding his eyes. JB didn’t see them, he just wondered when he would be able to give his boyfriend what he wanted.

 

At 3 PM the idols were already inside a van. The first couple YugBam was dropped at the Teddy Bear museum as planned. 2jae also reached the Jeju Loveland without problems, but it was the trio MarkJinSon who was having difficulty with the task given to them. They were already in front of the café but Jinyoung refused to leave the van.

“Park Jinyoung, I’m not gonna ask again. Leave the fucking van, or I’ll make you!” Jackson threatened as his voice raised at the singer.

“I can’t stand being around you too! If you guys wanna have a romantic date by yourselves have fun! I’m not playing this game anymore.” Jinyoung protested, obviously annoyed with the idea of spending time with the Markson couple.

“Oh, yeah?! Let’s see what happens if the three of us don’t go in there. I bet some of us will end up dead in this fucking island.” Jackson yelled, as he looked at a quiet Mark impatiently. The American knew what that look meant, he had to intervene.

“Jin, I know how unfair this whole situation is for you, okay? I know you’re hurting because of what I did. Believe me when I say how sorry I am for putting you through this. I know you promised to give me space. I know we both need time to reflect. You need me to heal and to sort out my feelings. But we don’t have time for any of that now. Our friends are out there, defenseless, doing what they must do to properly follow Lee’s ridiculous orders. We don’t have a choice here. Please, if you really care for Got7 members you’ll get out of this van. You’re not doing this for me or Jackson. You’re doing it for all of us.” Mark told him, but Jinyoung refused to look him in the eye. When the American tried to reach out for his hand, the singer made up his mind, got out of the vehicle abruptly and walked to the café without looking back.

“Why didn’t you say all these things before?! We could get him out of here faster.” Jackson shook his head and decided followed the singer. However, before he could leave the van, Mark gave him a serious warning.

“Just don’t make things worse than they are now, I mean it. He had enough.”

“Let’s get in, Mark. Otherwise we’re gonna be late for your date.” Jackson commented, already feeling like a third wheel. The other sighed frustrated as he walked to the café. The two found Jinyoung at a reserved area with a breathtaking ocean view, distant from the crowds.

“No one recognized us so far. I’m impressed by what casual clothes and a bare face can do. I’ve gotta give it to Lee, he never misses a detail.” Jackson said casually.

“How long you’ve been together? I mean, have you cheated on Mark with him?” Jinyoung still looked mad, but his voice was less harsh.

“I’ve been with him since Mark broke up with me in Macao. So no, I haven’t cheated. Unless we count that threesome I had with you and Tae-U when we were younger. To be honest, I’m not sure if it can be considered cheating if Mark and I were at odds back then.” Jackson replied sarcastically. He knew Jinyoung was going to fire at him all the ammunition he could use that night. And he was ready for it. Having to watch the American and the Chinese so intimate at Lee’s mansion was too much for the singer. Jinyoung would certainly try to alienate his beloved from the rapper.

An uncomfortable Mark cleared his throat as the waiter approached their table to give them the menu. The idols gave a fake smile to the waiter and stopped arguing.  But as soon as the man left, silence was roughly shattered again.

“Why did that motherfucker release you, by the way? Did you suck his cock or something?” Jinyoung continued his attack.

“No, nothing like that. I just promised to give him what he wants.” Jackson said nonchalantly.

“We all know what he wants, and we both know he can’t get it.” Jinyoung said sternly.

“I didn’t mind spending the rest of my life in that mansion. I was ready to rot in there, for what I did. But I needed to make sure that Mark was all right. After he freaked out and passed out in that room I had no idea what had happened to him and Lee wouldn’t tell me if he was okay or not. So I told myself I needed to get out of there and see for myself that he was awake and out of that place. I needed to come up with a plan to convince Lee to let me go. Then, I promised to make Mark fall for him. I told him I would actually help him out, like I should’ve done it in the past, when all he wanted was a mere date. I assured Lee Tae-U I’d undo my terrible mistake and this time I’d provide him the full package.” Jackson smiled proudly, ignoring the other’s shocked expression.

Chapter Text

“Excuse me?!” the American was flabbergasted, Jinyoung looked disgusted.

“I wonder how you plan to accomplish that.” The singer stated firmly as he squinted his eyes and put an arm around Mark’s chair protectively. The American didn’t even notice his sudden movement, but the rapper did. Jackson smirked at the gesture. He had never dreamed of seeing Jinyoung acting so territorial like that. The Chinese knew that feeling too well.

“I won’t, rest assured. My intention is to get close to him again, earn his trust, make him believe that I’m on his side and get rid of him once and for all. Like Mark said once, I brought him to our lives, now I feel that it’s my duty to get him out of the picture.” The rapper revealed his plan to his members, yet, he still didn’t know for sure how he would carry that out.

“He’s crazy, you don’t know what you’re doing. It’s too risky, you can get hurt. What if he’s listening to everything we say right now? There could be microphones or cameras everywhere in this place.” The American remembered the last time he and Jinyoung attempted to fight against letter2u’s rules. He also remembered that someone ended up dead at that subway station.

“In fact, there are. But I called here and changed our reservation in the last minute. One of the tables of this Café is certainly being monitored, but not ours.” Jackson informed proudly, as he looked around the other tables near them.

“You see, Mark, there’s no reason for concern. Your ex is splendid, he’s like Superman or something. We are fucking saved! There’s nothing to worry about anymore. All we had to do was to put a maniac to fight another. How come we didn’t think about that before? Just imagine when Lee finds out he’s not able to see or hear whatever the hell we’re talking or doing in this Café. I mean, he’ll probably come here himself and put a bomb in the whole place! Great move, Wang!” Jinyoung exclaimed sarcastically. He didn’t like Jackson’s stunt and he had a bad feeling about the whole thing. Somehow he feared that night wouldn’t end up well.

“Man, I was a jealous boyfriend, I mean, a real obsessive motherfucker, but you surely know how to throw a royal hissy when you’re being insecure. Your attitude is simply sour grapes. It’s kinda pathetic if you want to know my opinion. If you keep this up, Mark will seriously get tired of you. Believe me, you’re being irrational right now. Just forget what you saw at Lee’s place already! It’s not like my dick was up your boyfriend’s ass or something, get over it, man.” Jackson knew he had hit a nerve, but before Jinyoung could react to his crude comment, a familiar voice was heard.

“Nyoungie? Is that really you?” the elegant actor asked uncertain, as he approached the table. Mark almost forgot how to breathe when he saw the figure lean on the singer. Jealousy ate him inside.

“Kwon, how come you are here?” the singer was surprised as he instantly turned to his ex.

“I’m on a short vacation. It’s a wonderful coincidence, isn’t it? By the way, I was really sorry to hear about the scandal involving the two members of your group. I meant to call, but I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea. Your boyfriend might not like it.” The man smiled bitterly as he finally met Mark’s eyes. The actor saw nervousness in them.

“I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. He’s too busy thinking about someone else.” Jinyoung scornfully replied as he crossed his arms and glanced at the Chinese. Jackson refused to face the American or his dongsaeng. He still didn’t know how he let himself fall for Mark’s advances at Tae-U’s mansion. The warning his ex gave him in Macao was seared in his mind. ‘This will never, ever happen again, you hear me?! You and I are over for good. This is goodbye Wang Jia Er.’ From that moment on, Jackson was sure the American would never be that intimate with him again. It took him sometime to digest their inevitable end, but once he did, the rapper promised himself he’d remind Mark of his own words whenever the elder seemed to forget about them. However, he wasn’t able to keep his feelings in check or turn him down at Lee’s mansion. He wasn’t strong enough to avoid his ex like he did once in Jinyoung’s bathroom or when an amnesiac Mark flirted with him in the middle of a traffic jam. He could blame his setback on the drugs, but deep down he was aware of his own weakness towards the American. Although it pained him to see the Markjin couple flourish before his eyes, he wanted to convince himself he had accepted Jinyoung and Mark’s relationship. He felt that it was some sort of payback for what he did, his unavoidable punishment. Jackson knew Jinyoung was entitled to his anger for Mark’s brush with unfaithfulness, yet, he had no doubt the singer would soon forgive the American.

The tension between the trio could be cut with a knife. Kwon on the other hand, quickly regained his old confidence as he realized the guilty look on Mark’s face. Jackson just quietly observed the situation with interest. He was sure Jinyoung was going to make a fool of himself if he intended to make Mark jealous. The American was usually polite in the presence of strangers and he wasn’t the type of guy who would make a scene in public. Even if his heart was being crushed he would let it bleed discreetly.

“Wait a moment. Do I sense trouble in paradise? I can’t believe you actually managed to hurt Nyoungie. Mark, that’s uncalled for. By the way, would you guys mind if I join you?” the actor asked, but before anyone could answer, he had already brought another chair to their table.

“Who said you can sit with us? We’re having a private conversation at the moment and you’re not welcome here.” Mark told him coldly. Jackson frowned at that unknown hostility.

“Consider yourself invited, Kwon hyung. God knows I can’t bear to stay one more minute alone with these two.” Jinyoung said caustically, ignoring the American’s offended look.

“Thanks a lot, my prince.” Kwon said as he placed a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. Mark sighed in frustration.

“Are you seriously going to make me watch you and your ex flirting with each other the whole afternoon?” Mark’s voice was on the edge. Jackson cleared his throat but said nothing. He just wanted to silently remind them that it wasn’t a good idea to wash their dirty linen in public, but no one paid attention to him.

“Why can’t I? Am I the only one who has to put up with this kind of shit? At least now you know how it feels like!” Jinyoung hissed, as he tried to keep his voice down.

“You’re being unreasonable.” Jackson pointed out, bothered to see the American looking so desperate. He could also notice that Jinyoung was letting his temper get the best of him again.

“This whole situation is pretty ironic, guys. I mean, think about it, Mark. It makes sense, doesn’t it? We both have our exes sitting at the same table. Fate brought us here. Maybe that’s a sign, don’t you think? Everything seems to be falling into place. This encounter feels just right.” Kwon declared in a teasing tone, still trying to understand what was going on between the two. Jinyoung wanted to punch him in the face for making that kind of comment, but he didn’t open his mouth to protest. Hell would freeze over before someone could convince the singer that Jackson and Mark were fated to be together. That sounded like a sick joke.

“I need to use the toilet.” Mark’s eyes watered as he got up from is chair.

“Are you okay, Yi-en?” Jackson whispered in Chinese as he held Mark’s hand. Jinyoung’s vigilant eyes observed how the two seemed to have a silent conversation with each other for a couple of seconds. The singer tried to keep his feelings in check but all he wanted was to break Jackson’s fingers so he would never be able to touch his boyfriend again.

“What are they doing? Is that a secret code for a hot make-out session in the toilet?” Kwon chuckled as he saw the bewildered look on everyone’s face. Jinyoung huffed. Kwon’s comments were only making things worse. He waited for Mark to deny all of them, yet he didn’t.

“I’ll be right back.” Mark announced as he removed Jackson’s hand from his and left the table.

“You’re not going after him?” Jackson asked abruptly, turning to his dongsaeng.

“No, and you won’t either. If you get up from this chair I swear to God…” Jinyoung warned.

“Are you guys gonna tell me why there’s so much tension between you three?” Kwon inquired with curiosity. Jinyoung kept silent, but the rapper was talkative as always.

“Your dear Nyoungie is pissed because Mark and I had a thing. Not a big deal if you really want to know. It was just a relapse. I’m sure they will patch things up sooner or later. Don’t get your hopes up, believe me, it’s a waste of time. MarkJin is end game here.” Jackson sounded frustrated, but the actor seemed hopeful.

“This is the hotel I’m staying if you need to talk.” Kwon said as he wrote the address on a napkin and put it in one of Jinyoung’s pocket.

“Maybe I’ll pay you a visit tonight. Now you should leave. I’m afraid Mark won’t return if you stay.” Jinyoung said as he looked in the direction of the toilet. He already missed the American’s presence.

“Okay, then. Call me anytime, all right? See you later!” The actor smiled as he kissed his cheek and left the two members of Got7 alone. The actor went directly to the toilet area, making sure it wasn’t crowded. He could hear a soft sniffling coming through one of the doors and he immediately knew he had found who he was looking for.

“Markie, the others are worried about you. I hope you didn’t mind what I said out there. Come out, please. If you don’t, I might invite Jinyoung to my hotel room tonight, and as distraught as the poor thing is right now, I’m sure he’ll say yes.” The other said teasingly and as soon as the door opened, he was finally face-to-face with the American.

“What do you want?” Mark said weakly. His puffy nose made him look even more vulnerable than the last time he saw Kwon at Jinyoung’s apartment.

“You are failure, Tuan. You’re blessed with such looks but you’re unable to make a man happy. What’s wrong with you? Perhaps you’re not so pretty on the inside, right? Maybe your handsomeness only hides the ugliness underneath your flawless skin. Jinyoung saw your true colors at last. You’re a filthy little thing, aren’t you? Shame on you, kid.” Kwon said cruelly, as he studied the American’s features.

“Leave me alone.” Mark whispered as he wiped another tear from his eyes.

“Look at you, you’re not wearing make up again. How come you still look so good!? No wonder that Chinese friend of yours is so attached to you. You should get back together, the two of you. You already opened your legs for him once, it won’t be difficult to do it again.” Kwon savored each minute of that moment. He was never over the fact Jinyoung had left him to be with the American.

“Shut up! That’s none of your business. Just go away!” Mark’s voice faltered as he put his hands on his ears. He feared what the man would say next. He didn’t want to hear what he already thought it was true. However, no matter how hard he pressed his hands to his ears he could still read Kwon’s lips.

“How dare you touch Nyoungie’s body with those dirty hands of yours? You’re a stain on his life! You whored yourself to the members of your group and God knows who else, and then you dare to call him your boyfriend? Did you really think this would last, Markie? How long do you think it would take Jin to realize the piece of shit you are? You fucking slut, answer me!” Kwon insisted, as he shook him by the shoulders.

“Fuck you!” Mark pushed Kwon away, but the man only pushed him back, dragging him to one of the cubicles of the toilet and closing the door behind him.

“Your mouth is as dirty as the rest of your body. Maybe I should keep these sluttish lips of yours occupied.” Kwon said mercilesslly, as he started undoing the button of his jeans.

“What are you doing?!” Mark whispered in despair as he felt his vision blurry with tears.

“Suck it, bitch. Do what you do best.” The actor demanded, as he took his dick out of his boxers and pointed it to Mark.

“I’m gonna scream, I swear I will.” Mark whispered again, as his lips quivered. He wanted to move, but he was unable to. His body wouldn’t obey him anymore.

“I’m not gonna force you into anything, Markie. You can either take my dick into your foul mouth now or I can’t shove it into Jinyoung’s round ass tonight in my hotel room. What would you prefer?”

“Please don’t take him away from me.” The American begged, convinced of that possibility.

“Then let me fuck your mouth, you soiled cunt. It’s not like you haven’t done it before. Just open it wide for me.” Kwon raised an eyebrow, as the American fell on his knees obediently. However, when Mark’s face was about to approach the other’s crotch, Kwon pushed him away abruptly, put his member back into his boxers and buttoned his pants again.

“You’re going after Jin?” Mark looked desolated. The other suddenly burst into a fit of laughter.

“Oh dear, you actually believed I wanted you anywhere near my dick, didn’t you?! Geez, I wouldn’t want to get some disease, okay?! Boy, you’re a fucking intense little shit. I was just acting, man. I’m always acting. You should get used to it already. One day I’ll won a fucking Oscar for it, mark my words.” Kwon said, as he winked at the idol, made him get up from the floor and leave the cubicle they were in. Mark was still taken aback, a mix of relief and shame took over him. He officially loathed that man.

“You’re a fucking bully! Do you think it’s funny to scare people like this?” Mark inquired irritated.

“Yes, Mark. Actually I do. That’s what being an actor is all about, getting an unique reaction from people. By the way, you played a perfect victim in there. I almost pitied you.” Kwon said casually.

“So, you’re telling me that every single actor is a sadistic piece of shit? Which role you were playing this time by the way?” Mark dried his tears as he eyed the man up and down.

“Let me see…An angry pimp who was getting back at one of his naughty whores.” Kwon answered nonchalantly. The American trembled when he heard that word again. He abhorred every single syllable of that word.

“He loves me, you know. Despite everything. No matter what you do, you are incapable of taking him away from me.” Mark told him in a somber tone as he approached the man who admired himself in front of a mirror right beside a sink.

“Jinyoung is a grown man. He’s not the kind of person who’s lured to someone else’s bed just for a revenge fuck. If he does come to my hotel room tonight, it’s because he still have feelings for me and I shall welcome him with open arms.” Kwon said as he still vainly looked at himself in the mirror. The guy loved himself, that was a fact.

Mark didn’t know what took over him, but an unknown rage suddenly made him push Kwon against the large mirror of the toilet, and hit his head several times against the sink. The actor didn’t even have a chance to defend himself. The American was too fast and too determined to make him unconscious. There was blood and sharp pieces of the mirror everywhere, but the idol didn’t care. He was wearing black, no one would notice the stains. Mark washed his bloodied hands, checked his watch and realized that he still had 10 minutes to end his date with Jinyoung and Jackson. He gave a last look to the man on the floor and smiled with a nameless satisfaction as he watched the impeccable white floor turn crimson red. Mark felt immensely just and fulfilled. For the first time in his life, he had stood up for himself and brought a bully down. He remembered the bullies back at his middle school, he remembered his perverted P.E. teacher and he also remembered Kwon’s teasing at Jinyoung’s apartment. All those images flashed through his mind like a lightning bolt, and when the thunder in his soul roared, a victorious smiled appeared on his lips. That event called for a celebration.

Only Jackson was at the table when he returned from the toilet.

“Where’s Jinyoung?” Mark asked as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened a few minutes ago.

“He’s right there, Mark, admiring the view. I’m just sitting here cause I was afraid he’d deck me if I dared to get up.” Jackson whined while pointing to the composed figure staring up the sunset from the terrace. Mark smirked at the rapper’s brief dramatic explanation and walked to Jinyoung. Jackson immediately sensed that something was not right. The American looked too serene.

“It’s quite romantic, isn’t it? I’d kiss you if it wasn’t so crowded.” Mark commented boldly as Jinyoung frowned at him. Minutes ago, he could perceive the pain written all over the elder’s features, and now he just looked unfazed. The singer had invited Kwon to the table to punish the American for his mistake, but he had no intention of getting involved with the actor again. He loved Mark, and no matter how deeply he resented him for what happened at Lee’s house, his feelings hadn’t decreased even a bit.

“That wouldn’t be appropriate, especially now. By the way, you took too long in that toilet. Are you feeling sick or something?” the singer eyed him worriedly. He thought of following the elder to the toilet earlier, but he didn’t want to look overly concerned in front of him.

“No. I was just waiting it out, you know. Hoping that when I returned to the table Kwon wouldn’t be there anymore. Thank God he’s gone.” Mark sighed, feeling lighter than he felt before they entered that Café. He felt proud to be the only one who knew the reason why the actor wasn’t going to show up at their table anymore.

“Sorry about that. I was being childish, I admit. I guess I haven’t been myself lately.” The singer confessed sadly.

“I understand that I’m to blame for everything you’ve been through. I’m the one who should be asking for your forgiveness.” Mark said as he touched his dongsaeng’s shoulder. They stared at each other’s eyes for a long minute, but voice made them break eye contact suddenly.

“Aren’t you gonna order anything? Not even a drink or a dessert? I mean, it used to be G-Dragon’s café. We should try some of the coffees in the menu, at least we will have something to brag about when we return to the lodging. Bam and Yuggie will lose their shit when they learn about it.” Jackson shouted at them from the table. He was sure that if he didn’t interrupted the lovebirds’ moment, a kiss would surely take place right there.

“I almost forgot he was here for a minute. By the way, our time is up.” Jinyoung exhaled deeply, as he looked at his watch and slowly removed Mark’s hand from his shoulder. However, as the singer moved away from the elder, something fell from his pocket. Mark quickly picked it put with curiosity. His heart almost stopped when he realized what it was. Kwon wasn’t joking about inviting the singer to his hotel room. The American couldn’t believe Jinyoung accepted that address. He felt betrayed and he really wanted to go back to that toilet and make sure the other wasn’t breathing.

The drive back to the lodging was silent. Letter2u didn’t contact them, but the same van who dropped the trio at the Café was waiting for them outside. The driver just told them to get in and they did not argue about it. As soon as the vehicle dropped them in front of the lodging, Jinyoung gasped as he flipped through his phone. Jackson and Mark eyed him intrigued.

“Kwon was attacked at Monsant. People are speculating that it might have been some anti-fan. He was taken to Hanmaeum hospital, I’ve gotta check on him.” Jinyoung said quickly as he turned to the driver of the van to ask him the address of that hospital.

“Man, it’s not wise to go there at this hour. The whole media will be there.” The rapper advised, wondering if that attack had anything to do with letter2u. He couldn’t help but think that Tae-U messed Kwon up for interrupting the MarkJinSon date.

“I have to make sure he’s okay!” the singer stated firmly and the driver of the van even offered to take him to the hospital the actor was in.

“Are you out of your mind? Jackson is right! Do you want to be in the news tomorrow or something? Why would you want to go there in the first place!? You have nothing to do with each other anymore. Let the doctors do their thing, you would only get in the way. It’s late, Jinyoung, don’t go to him. Come on, let’s just go inside and forget this afternoon ever happened.” Mark objected, as he tried to reach for Jinyoung’s hand, but the singer avoided his touch.

“I’m leaving, and I might not return till morning. Don’t wait up for me.” The Korean idol declared. He couldn’t understand why Mark was being so unreasonable.

“Well, I guess Kim Kwon finally got what he wanted. You’re really spending the night with him, even when I’m telling you to stay and sleep with me instead!” the American yelled angrily, taking Jackson by surprise. Jinyoung looked at him in disbelief, he did not expect such an outburst.

“Mark, he’s really hurt! I’d check on any co-worker of mine if something like this ever happened to any of them. I’m going to that hospital like any worried friend would. Fuck the press, I don’t care about what they think. And why the hell would we even share the same bed? He’s in a damn hospital! Why are you being like this? We’re not together anymore, hyung.” Jinyoung gave him a last reprimanding look and entered the van. That last sentence sounded ambiguous. Mark couldn’t tell if he was talking about him or Kwon. He couldn’t help but enter the van with him.

“Please, stay.” The elder begged, afraid the singer would find out he was the one who put the actor in the hospital. The elder didn’t regret his actions, but he knew Jinyoung would definitely despise him after he heard from Kwon what happened.

“Get out of this van, Mark. I mean it.” Jinyoung demanded harshly as he gave him a warning look.

“Fine! Do whatever you want. But mark my words, you will regret this, Jin.” The American stated, as he realized he wouldn’t be able to convince Jinyoung to stay. He got out of the vehicle and signaled the driver to go. He and Jackson remained at that same spot until the van disappeared on the road.

“Do you think Lee did it?” the rapper asked, as he turned to the other.

“Who cares? I’m just happy it happened. He deserved it.” Mark answered coldly. He didn’t know how long it would take for the police to knock on their door. Kwon surely wouldn’t miss the opportunity to press charges against him. The actor probably would use his acting skills to dramatize the whole situation. He would tell the authorities how Mark was a crazy whore, how he came on to him in that toilet just to beat him up afterwards. And who would ever deny that accusation? Even Mark wondered if he wasn’t really a jealous whore who needed some anger management treatment. Maybe he hated the word ‘whore’ so much because he just didn’t want to admit he was one. He was even fucked at a brothel! Who was he trying to fool? The truth hurt. What other use Mark would have for Jackson back in Macao? The American finally concluded that the rapper just used his body the way he did, because he allowed it. Then, he wondered if the time he would spend in jail would be enough to allow Jinyoung and Kwon to rekindle their relationship. He thought of how another scandal would plague the name of Got7 and how he unfortunately would be the center of it. His parents would certainly commit him again, right after he left prison. He wondered if any sort of psychological assessment would even be useful after he spent years being raped by others inmates. After all, once he stepped into a penitentiary, all the other prisoners would smell his sluttiness and make him their bitch. His friends and fans would abandon him after they all realized how nasty his character actually was. Maybe Kim Kwon was right, people often admired his looks, but that was only because they couldn’t see beyond his handsomeness. They didn’t know how ugly he was underneath that adorable baby face. His beauty was only skin deep, he was indeed rotten to the core. He knew he had lost Jinyoung for good. All his thoughts instantly turned against him. He could barely pay attention to what Jackson was saying.

“…You’re just erratically jealous. You don’t mean that.” Jackson commented as he walked to the front door worriedly. Lee was too quiet. The Chinese wondered when the psycho would show up and reveal to them the details of the lesson he taught Kwon.

“Wanna fuck?” Mark’s unexpected question made him turn around again, mouth agape with incredulity. The rapper’s hands left the door handle in shock as he stared at the elder’s eyes.

“Come again?” Jackson managed to ask, still astonished.

“I’m definitely gonna make you come inside me this time.” Mark assured him emotionlessly. He wondered if that would be the last consensual intercourse he would have in his life. Inmates surely wouldn’t ask if he was in the mood or not.

“Mark...” Jackson sighed deeply, unable to form a coherent sentence. He knew the American wasn’t fine. Asking for sex was just a way he found to occupy his mind with something else.

“I take that as a no. Shit, I can’t believe I’m gonna leave this fucking island without getting laid!” Mark exclaimed as he walked past the rapper and entered the lodging. Jackson wanted to give him some sort of consolation, but he didn’t trust himself around the American. After the episode at Lee’s mansion, he didn’t think it would be a good idea to be alone with him for a while. He just sadly eyed his ex stomp angrily inside the bedroom he shared with the leader.

Once Mark entered the room, he was met with a half-drunk Jaebeom sitting on the bed. The shirtless leader had a bottle of soju in his hand and offered it to the other. The elder shut the door behind him, and took the bottle from his dongsaeng’s hand. He could tell the date with Youngjae probably didn’t end well, yet, he didn’t care. He was not in the mood to listen to other people’s heartbreaks. He just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. However, he couldn’t just ignore the young man who eyed him like a lost puppy. JB had a dejected look on his face that begged for attention. The American then changed his mind, and decided to do a last charity work before he ended up killing himself in a dirty cold cell. He would listen to JB’s problem and advise him the best he could. Mark wondered if God would remember this one good deed of his and let him rest his troubled soul in paradise someday. He was raised to believe that suicide was a sin, but not even hell would stop him from thinking about it or attempting it. If helping JB would ease his penance, he would at least try to be a good Samaritan for a few minutes.

“What’s this about?” Mark asked patiently, as he sat beside the younger.

“I’m ready for that lesson, hyung.” JB sounded confident in his announcement.

“I’m not sure I understand.” Mark eyed the other confused. He couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the leader’s perfect abs.

“I want you to show me how it is done. Let me know everything.”

Chapter Text

The American stared at his dongsaeng for a long minute. Of all the topics he thought JB could bring up at that very moment, sex certainly wasn’t on the top of the list. He never thought the leader would consider the offer he had made him that morning, let alone acting on it.

“What is it? Were you just fucking with me earlier?” the Korean asked a bit hurt as he examined the elder’s features. One of his hands softly pushed a loose strand of shiny brown hair behind Mark’s ear. That kind of sweet gesture only happened when the alcohol allowed Jaebeom to drop his tough boy act. The other members of Got7 were usually aware of the effects of soju in the leader’s system. Cuteness, sensitiveness, gentleness, warmth and all plain-spoken emotions that JB would rarely let others see would all come out at once. All his barriers were completely down.

“No, of course not. But you do remember that Youngjae wanted me to do the same for him and I refused him, don’t you?” the American reminded the younger of that ironical detail. He wouldn’t let himself be fooled by a tipsy dongsaeng. He knew how nasty JB could be with his words as soon as he was sober. After all, the leader had once insinuated that Mark planned to seduce the whole group and add each member of Got7 to his collection of conquests. The elder would never forget how the leader made him look so promiscuous in front of the band.

“And?” JB’s determination did not wave for a second when the other put a hand on his thigh.

“Aren’t you going to call me a whore and kick me out of the bed in the morning? I can almost picture you throwing a fit in front of the others. Telling how I took advantage of your drunk self.” Mark inquired, as he started to massage the younger’s inner thigh tentatively.

“It won’t happen. That would be embarrassing for both of us. We don’t wanna get in trouble with our boyfriends. I have Jae and you have Jin. No strings attached between us. The two of us have too much to lose, so we’ll do our best to protect this secret. That’s why this can work.” JB managed to say, as the effects of Mark’s hand on him started to take over his mind. The American enjoyed listening to the younger’s timid moans.

“If Jackson or I had slept with Youngjae at that time, even if it was in order to teach the kid one thing or two, you would be pretty pissed. Do you have any idea how Jae will feel once he finds out about you and I? I mean, think about it, I had no problem rejecting him back then, yet, now I shamelessly got to bed with his boyfriend. How fucked up is that?” Mark insisted, trying to see how far JB’s determination would go as he moved his hands to the leader’s crotch.

“He won’t know, because we won’t tell him. Period.” The younger stated confidently, as he placed a hand on the small of his hyung’s back. Soon his arm was circling Mark’s waist just to caress his sides. Once JB’s fingers slipped under his sweatshirt, the hairs of his lower back stood on end.

“How can we be sure that this room is not being monitored by Lee Tae-U? There could be hidden cameras in here. What if he tells on us?” the elder pointed out, exhaling deeply as he felt the leader’s hands underneath the waistband of his pants.

“Even if he’s filming us he won’t expose you to the other members. He never leaked any MarkJin or MarkSon video. You’d hate him if he did it and that’s not what he wants. He seems to like you in his own fucked up way. He’ll probably just enjoy the show by himself. After all, he’s about to see some pretty rare hot MarkBum material.” JB stated nonchalantly, as he licked his lips sexily.

“All right then. I see that you gave this whole thing some thought. And I can tell you have finally made up your mind. Let’s do it. Would you like to establish any boundaries before we start?” Mark looked firmly into his eyes as he realized how quickly the Korean responded to his arousing touches. He could clearly see lust in JB’s eyes while he rubbed his hand against his clothed member.

“No kissing on the lips?” JB suggested as he blinked his eyes twice pensively.

“All right. Your lips are Jae’s property.”  The elder rolled his eyes, wondering what could be more intimate than having his anus penetrated by someone else’s penis. He was aware that if Youngjae ever found out about that, he would be dead meat. However, he didn’t gave it much thought. A that point, he had nothing to lose. It was a matter of time before the cops arrested him. Death would happen in a way or another. Deep down, he longed for it. He was tired of that life of restraints, sacrifices and abdications. There was nothing holding him back anymore.

“I’ll bottom this time. I wanna feel what it’s like. I want to know how painful it will be for Jae. Show me how to prepare him.” JB added, no trace of doubt in his voice. Mark nodded at him as he leaned forward, brought one hand to the back of the leader’s neck and just nuzzled the skin there. The American smelled every inch of the leader’s collarbone, before distributing licks from his ear to his nipples. The younger had a unique manly scent that Mark couldn’t help but feel addicted to it. JB pulled the American to him, making the elder sit on his lap and the other automatically adjusted himself straddling him. The Korean was obviously enjoying the foreplay, he loved the feeling of Mark’s butt against his thigh. His sexy moans were proof of it. He ran his fingers through Mark’s hair while the elder ravished his abs and nipples with playful bites. The elder had already unzipped JB’s pants and one of his hands was already inside his boxers stimulating his hard on.

“If you want me to stop, just say the word.” The American whispered erotically before biting his earlobe. Jaebeom could also feel his hyung’s erection on pressing against him and he felt proud to realize he was the one making his hyung that hard. He wanted to see more of Mark’s skin, so he softly pulled the American away from his chest to remove his sweatshirt. The elder seemed a bit shy when JB’s hands traveled around his bare chest and suddenly stopped his motions right on his happy trail. The Korean marvelled at the vision before him. He couldn’t help but gasp at the sight of a stunningly disheveled, bare-chested American blushing and practically sitting on his erection. Mark was distracted biting his lip when JB suddenly threw him on the bed and hovered over him, quickly removing his pants and boxers.

“My God, you’re really beautiful.” JB uttered as he took the rest of his clothing without taking his eyes of Mark. The elder gazed at him intensely, while he touched himself. When they were both totally naked rubbing against each other, JB was still above the American, grazing his teeth against Mark’s neck as he naturally adjusted himself between his legs.

“You’re definitely a top, Jaebumie.” Mark murmured, almost begging the other to just enter him at once. His words had a positive effect on the younger. Within seconds, the American felt his penis be engulfed by JB’s mouth. He had to put a hand on his own lips not to scream with pleasure. The sexy way JB licked, sucked and kissed his erection was pure torture. The Korean was destroying every piece of self-control in Mark’s head. He had to stop the younger from going too far too soon, so he lifted up JB’s face to him, making a disappointed noise when he felt his length slip from the humid warmth of the younger’s mouth.

“What? Did I do something wrong?” JB asked innocently, as the look of his parted red lips almost made Mark come instantaneously. The feeling of the leader’s hot breath against him made him want to kiss him badly, but he knew he wouldn’t dare to.

“I am topping, remember? I have a lesson to teach. Let me take care of you.” Mark reminded him, as he moved away a little from him, took a bottle of lube from the drawer of his nightstand and smeared it on his hands. Soon JB had his back on the bed and Mark positioned himself between his legs. JB observed his movements with anticipation as he masturbated himself.

“Will you go slow?” JB’s nervousness started to build up. Mark smiled at him tenderly and kissed his forehead.

“Don’t worry, I got you, kid.” The American assured him as he opened JB’s legs wider, teasing his entrance with one finger and carefully inserting it inside his anus. He saw his dongsaeng tense and close his eyes for a bit when he inserted a second finger.

“Just gimmie a second, okay?” JB asked, and Mark did his best to make him relax. While he kissed his inner thighs, his other hand took care of JB’s erection. His fingers only started scissoring the leader’s hole when JB signaled Mark to continue.

“It will feel better soon, you’ll see.” Mark reassuring voice made him relax a bit. When Mark applied more lube to his hand and put lube on his erection, JB was already panting. Each time Mark’s finger had touched a magical spot inside him, he wanted to be impaled even more. He was eager to feel the other inside him.

“Come on, Markie. I’m ready.” JB declared whiningly, but as soon as he felt the elder’s penis penetrate him, he couldn’t help but moan in pain. Mark wanted to remove his penis immediately, but the other just held him in place by the hip.

“Just breathe. Look, we can stop this lesson now if you want. If it’s too painful, let’s call it a night. I don’t wanna hurt you, Bummie.” The American took a deep breath, trying to control the urge of moving inside the other completely. JB seemed to have read his mind, because within seconds he pushed himself against Mark, allowing the elder to fill him at once.

“Move, hyung.” JB uttered weakly as he gave a playful slap on Mark’s butt. Their movements were synchronized, the American repeatedly thrust inside him while JB pushed himself against penis. The feeling of having Mark so intimate, so close, so rooted in his body was momentous. He had never been so intimate with another man, and he felt like a fool for thinking that he might not enjoy such an experience. Waves of pleasure assaulted the Korean when he couldn’t delay anymore the jolts of sublime satisfaction that overwhelmed him. The sensation of Mark’s warm seed planted deep within him made him come hard on the elder’s stomach. The American tried to catch his breath as his body collapsed against his panting dongsaeng. They were both sweating, satiated and worn down.

“You were perfect, Beommie. Now you know what to do.” Mark congratulated the younger after kissing his cheek. When he tried to get off JB, the other embraced him, keeping Mark’s body glued to his. He could feel Mark’s semen running down his leg as the other tried to pull his penis out of him.

“Hey, stay inside a little bit more. It’s my first time, let’s cuddle. Try being considerate a bit, I’ve just let you pop my cherry. How can you just try to dump me like this? You men are all the same.” Jaebeom said playfully as he held his hyung to him. Mark laughed a bit, as he lifted his head to look into JB’s eyes. He felt something new. That kind of sex without compromise was fun, was liberating and certainly therapeutic. The American felt that Jaebeom and he were compatible in bed, even though they had completely different personalities. Sex with the leader was not a mistake, but a moment of enlightenment. When feelings were in the way, everything was more complicated and painful. Of course that when the relationship is going well, lovemaking is magical. Sleeping with someone you love is a singular experience. It was like that whenever he was in bed with Jinyoung, and it used to be like that when he used to be with Jackson too. However, when the relationship was not doing so well, sex could be heartbreaking or even heinous.

“Do you regret it? Won’t you regret it in a few hours?” Mark asked, wondering if, besides Jackson, he would be the next target of hatred in Got7. The others would certainly take Youngjae’s side if they found out that JB cheated on him with the elder.

“Never.” JB winked at him as he released his hyung, allowing him to finally lay no his back in the bed.

“You’d better.” Mark warned him as he felt his eyelids getting heavy. He felt a kiss on his cheek and then on his forehead while his naked body was covered by the bed sheets. He also felt JB’s head search for his shoulder before his eyes surrendered to the tiredness and stress of that day and finally closed. Within seconds, sleep finally embraced him, allowing his troubled mind some time to pull itself together.

The next morning the American was awoken by rays of sunlight coming from the window. He wondered who was rude enough to open those shades without consulting him first. He was about to protest when he saw a smiling Jaebeom sitting on the edge of the bed with a breakfast tray beside him.

“Hey.” Mark managed to say as he sat up and quickly remembered the events of the past night.

“Good morning.” JB replied, as he ruffled his hair and sat further in the bed, placing the tray on Mark’s leg.

“What’s all this? You brought me breakfast in bed?” Mark frowned, as he eyed the pancakes in the plate in front of him. He wondered when JB learned to make those. The Egg toast sandwich, the fruits and the juice weren’t a big deal, but pancakes were not really common in a home style Korean breakfast.

“Yeah! I think you deserve it. You did me a huge favor last night. This is me being grateful. Oh, I added those, but I didn’t make them. Jinyoung made them before he left.” JB informed as he pointed to plate of pancakes and smirked at the elder.

“Jinyoung is back?! I‘ve gotta talk to him.” Mark exclaimed as he moved on the bed and almost left the tray fall from his lap.

“Hey loverboy, take it easy, I just said he went out, didn’t I? He went jogging on the beach, he’ll be back soon. I caught him in the kitchen this morning finishing these pancakes before he left. He told me to remind you to eat them. He claimed you are losing too much weight these days. I have to agree with him. I saw it for myself last night.” JB winked at Mark, who blushed suddenly, looking away.

“Did he say anything about Kwon?” Mark wondered where the cops were and why he was not behind bars yet.

“Oh, yeah. His ex is gonna need some reconstructive plastic surgery, his face is a mess according to Jin. It was some brutal attack he suffered, man. For an actor, I guess that must mean he’ll have to take a long break from all his acting projects, or worse, it could even mean the end of his career.” JB replied as he casually took a bite out of one of the apples in the tray.

“What about the police? Did they catch the culprit?” the American tried to remain calm as he anxiously waited for the Korean’s answer.

“They couldn’t find the attacker. But Jin heard Kwon tell the cops that it was some weird guy who was mad at him because his ex-girlfriend was a big fan of his dramas. Can you believe that? I’ve got tell you hyung, this world is a very scary place to live sometimes. Fame makes you an easy target for the thousands of letter2us out there.” Jaebeom commented, as he noticed the lost expression on Mark’s face.

“I guess.” He mumbled, eyeing the tray but not eating any of the food on it.

“Are you okay?” the dongsaeng asked, furrowing his brow.

“I should be the one asking you this. After all, thanks to me, you’re officially deflowered now. I dare say you’re totally gay, whether you want it or not.” The elder reminded him, hiding his own built up anxiety. He couldn’t figure out why Kwon would miss the chance of sending him someplace far away from Jinyoung.

“Well, maybe I’m actually bi. And don’t worry about me, last night was quite educative. There’s a slight discomfort down there, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I won’t be walking funny in front of the others, I assure you. I’m a tough guy. It was worth it, I’m a new man now.” JB smirked as he winked at the other.

“You just need more practice and the discomfort will be gone. Jae can make sure of that.” The American told him, but the leader had another idea in his head.

“Maybe you should let me be on top for our next lesson. Just to make sure I won’t be doing anything wrong when I’m with him.” JB suggested as he eyed an agape Mark sexily. The American couldn’t help but blush furiously at his dongsaeng words. JB just laughed at his embarrassment, rolling around on the bed.

“Beware of what you wish for, I can be a difficult power bottom to handle.” Despite his embarrassment, the elder managed to play along, as he arched his eyebrows with a lascivious grin.

“Who knows, I might be a hella service top. You’re a versatile, right?” Jaebeom asked suddenly and the other swallowed nervously before answering him with another question.

“Have you been studying the subject or something?” Mark asked raising an eyebrow at him as he observed how slowly the younger drew near him. He had never seen that bold side of JB. He couldn’t remember the last time someone left him red-faced that way. The leader’s new attitude towards sex disconcerted Mark.

“I googled some things this morning. Perhaps you could clarify some doubts I have.” JB replied as his hands moved underneath the sheets and touched Mark’s knee. The American was still completely naked under the covers and the leader’s long fingers on his skin sent shivers down his spine.

“Okay! I get it. You truly enjoyed last night, but that was a one-off, okay?” Mark warned the other as he moved away from his touch. JB chuckled at his behavior, he just loved the red color on his hyung’s ears.

“You’re really cute. Especially when you are still smelling of sex. You haven’t showered, so I assume you still have my cum all over you.” The Korean smiled teasingly at him, making the elder sigh in frustration and more embarrassment.

“What the heck! What’s wrong with you? Can you stop?!” Mark gave him a light punch on his shoulder, while he quickly put the breakfast tray on his nightstand and brought the covers up to his neck protectively. He didn’t know how to react to his dongsaeng’s shameless talk.

“Just tell me when and where will be our next lesson and I’ll quit it.” JB grinned as the other shook his head in disbelief.

“Have you talked to your boyfriend this morning?” Mark changed the topic of the conversation abruptly.

“Jae’s still sleeping. Don’t worry, what happens in Jeju stays in Jeju. No one will know.” JB stated more serious this time, as he got up from the bed.

“You guys should patch things up soon. You clearly need someone to keep you occupied and satisfied.” Mark advised the leader with a shy smile as the younger nodded at him.

“I wanna see you and Jin back together too. You guys should really have a talk. But if he still refuses to listen, just let me know. I’ll do my best to beat some sense into him.” JB said, returning his friendly smile. All the flirting gone.

“I kinda cheated on him with Jack. He will never understand why it happened and neither will I.” Mark’s tone became sorrowful as he looked down at his hands, gazing at the ring that never left his finger since the day he found it at his apartment when he was still amnesiac. It was that piece of jewelry that made him remember his love for Jinyoung. That ring also reminded him how Jinyoung loved him unconditionally, but sadly, that fact alone wasn’t enough to keep them together.

“You probably weren’t in your right mind. You never are when it comes to Jackson. You just need to keep your distance from him and ask Jin another chance.” Jaebeom assured him, hating to see the despondent look on his hyung’s face.

“I’ll try. But will you please leave the room, so I can have a shower, and get dressed? I’d really appreciate a moment of privacy now.” The American asked in a small voice.

“Come on, Markie, don’t be a prude. It’s nothing I haven’t seen it before. Or touched, tasted, sucked and licked it.” JB licked his lips playfully, teasing his hyung again. The American couldn’t help but hide his flushed face as he begged for his dongsaeng to stop talking like that.

“Just go! You’re impossible! Get out!” Mark yelled throwing a pillow at him and suddenly Bambam and Yugyeom burst into their door excitedly and threw themselves on the bed. The color drained from the elder’s face as he almost panicked seeing how the two youngsters jumped on it repeatedly, almost plucking the blankets away from his naked body. Jaebeom noticed how he licked and bit his lower lip nervously. It was hilarious.

“Good morning everybody! Letter2u is AWOL, so that means we’re free to enjoy the island by ourselves. Let’s party, bros!” an elated Bambam announced, oblivious to the situation he and his best friend had walked in.

“Let’s go swimming, or maybe diving! What about the waterfalls and caves? We should check them first!” Yugyeom declared in high spirits. The American just smiled awkwardly as JB amusedly observed the features of his alarmed hyung without doing anything to help him. It was only when Yugyeom glanced at the breakfast tray beside the bed that the leader became decided to do something about the pair. That maknae was smart. If those two noticed that Mark was stark naked under those blankets, he knew that they would certainly be in trouble. So, before the youngest started asking questions, he acted fast.

“I’m heading to the Play Kpop Museum. Who’s up for that famous GDragon hologram performance? Any fanboys interested?” JB announced as he walked to the door and waited for the reaction of his loud dongsaengs. The two immediately were beside him.

“You’re not coming, hyung?” Yugyeom asked, as he watched how Mark didn’t dare to move an inch from the bed.

“Nah! You guys go ahead and have fun. I’m feeling a bit under the weather. I think I’m gonna sleep a bit more.” Mark lied through his teeth, as he waved his hand at them.

“Are you sure? Do you want me to stay? I can look after you.” The maknae offered as he stopped at the door to turn to his hyung again. Mark was touched by his words, he felt bad for lying, but he seriously needed to get up from that bed and get rid of anything in that room which could denounce the events of the past night.

“Don’t worry about me, kid. I’m gonna be okay. Take lots of pictures, all right? I’ll see you guys later.” Mark stated as the others nodded at him and finally left. He could swear he saw a lingering smirk on JB’s face, before he dragged the youngsters out of the room.

The minute he convinced himself he was completely alone in the bedroom, the American ran to the shower. He tried not to think about what he did to Kwon or how he would be able to face Jinyoung after what happened at the café. He wondered if the actor had only lied to the police and told the singer the truth. He could already imagine Jinyoung’s reaction when he revealed to him that he would never regret hurting that vicious man.

Chapter Text

When he finished his shower, Mark hurriedly got dressed, brushed his teeth, changed the bed sheets and once again eyed the tray on the nightstand in dismal. He didn’t feel like eating, he felt disgusted by the simply idea of putting anything in his mouth. Since yesterday, when Jinyoung refused to have lunch with the group in the lodging, the elder had completely lost his appetite. He knew he should eat something but even the pancakes prepared by the singer made his stomach turn. Mark then decided to pay a visit to Youngjae’s room bringing the tray with him.

“Are you awake?” Mark entered his dongsaeng’s room without ceremony. He knew Youngjae was pretending to sleep, so he didn’t bother to knock. He was always like that whenever he was mad at someone, pretending to be dead.

“Where’s he? Did he send you here to plead his case?” Youngjae pouted as he turned to Mark, who had already sat on the edge of his bed and put the tray on the floor before the other could notice it.

“Look, I know the date was awful. He didn’t wanna tell me exactly why, but JB is clearly devastated. Yesterday night he was drinking, today he just went out with the kids. Can you imagine that? If he’s hanging out with Bam and Yuggie, as loud as they are in the morning, he’s really not being his usual self.” Mark commented, trying to complete his good deed. He’d put all his energy into the reconciliation of that couple.

“He’s running away, that’s what he’s doing, that’s all he does! And I’m tired of his dubious behavior. My heart can’t handle it anymore!” The younger complained, as his hyung raised an eyebrow at him.

“You guys went to a park called Jeju Loveland, for Christ sake what could’ve gone wrong?” he asked curiously as the younger made a face at him.

“Some people recognized us at the park and they started asking questions about that rooftop video. You should have seen him! He said horrible things! Like how disgusting it was to watch people pairing him with someone he considered a little brother and how he’d never touch a man like that! He sounded genuinely like a small-minded heterosexual bigot! He looked so convincing acting like a detestable homophobic dick that now I’m really not sure if he’s not one!” Youngjae whined, as his eyes started to water.

“What did you expect him to do, huh? Come out in front of everyone, just like that? Jae, he was just protecting your and his image! This scandal can really ruin both of your careers. Don’t be silly, he loves you more than anything. It’s obvious he would deny your relationship in front of a bunch of strangers. That was the right thing to do, silly.” Mark asserted pinching his wet cheeks, hoping his dongsaeng would calm down.

“Did he tell you that?” Youngjae whimpered, almost convinced by Mark’s words.

“He did better than that! Before he left with the kids, he asked me to bring you this. Listen, he really needs your forgiveness and you’d be a fool not to accept it.” Mark exclaimed as he picked up the untouched breakfast tray from the floor and put it next to Youngjae’s feet. The other sat up on the bed immediately and suddenly a big smile adorned his features. Mark loved to see Got7’s otter with that bright expression etched on his face. He felt satisfied for making someone happy. Lately he could only bring pain to those around him. Seeing how Jae enthusiastically chewed on his sandwich gave him a warm feeling inside. What if he had beat up a guy pretty bad the other night? He was being a good hyung now, advising and feeding his dongsaeng the best way he could.

“Well, I’d be an idiot if I didn’t accept his apologies after this, right? Wow, breakfast in bed, that’s another level for him. I bet he was too embarrassed to bring this himself.” Youngjae commented excitedly, still smiling at the supposed surprise.

“Actually, I wasn’t allowed to tell you he was the one who made it. And you won’t mention that to him, okay? Just pretend it was my idea and that I never told you anything about it. He didn’t want you to think that he could buy your forgiveness with food. He just doesn’t want you to neglect your daily meals because of what happened yesterday.” Mark lied again, wondering if it was remorse that was driving him to make up all that story. However, he wasn’t really sure if he regretted sleeping with the leader. Unexpectedly, since the incident with Kwon, guilt was not a feeling plaguing Mark’s mind anymore. No matter how unscrupulous he acted, he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about it.

“Thanks for letting me know, then. It means a lot to know that he cares for me secretly. I mean, it’s kinda romantic, isn’t it?” Youngjae seemed deeply touched by his lover’s supposed gesture.

“Now I should be telling you how envy I am. I remember you once told in front of the whole group that your birthday wish was to have a nice boyfriend just like me. Well, I think you’ve got someone even nicer, so stop complaining, he’s a keeper.” Mark gave him an amicably smile and got up from the bed, walking to the door.

“Wait, what about your date? Jinyoung just came back in the morning and he just left again. Were you guys able to bury the hatchet?” the younger asked abruptly, making the American turn to face him again.

“I wasn’t the one he spent the night with, Jae. As for the date, well, we survived.” Mark replied bitterly as he attempted to leave the room once more.

“I’m sorry.” Youngjae said unexpectedly. Mark didn’t turn to him this time, he just looked upon his shoulder.

“What for?”

“For not being there for you when the whole Macao thing happened. For dismissing what Jackson did to you, and making that stupid speech at the company about how the 7 of us should stay together no matter what. What Jackson did to you wasn’t just simply a mistake, I know that, and you shouldn’t be forced to work with him for the sake of the group. I just want you to know that you can count on me too, if you need to talk, or whatever. You were there for me back then, when I was miserable because all JB did was to treat me like his baby brother. You are here for me now. Thanks, hyung.” Youngjae’s words almost ruined Mark’s day. He was trying to be a good Samaritan, but his dongsaeng had just thanked him for being a supportive hyung. And he knew he wouldn’t be listening to those words of gratitude if Youngjae learned about last night. He felt tempted to reveal everything to him, just to make the younger take back those words. He didn’t feel like he deserved them. He had to leave the room before he started crying.

“It’s okay, Jae-ah, it’s all right. Just get back to your boyfriend and stop sounding so sappy.” Mark said shortly as he finally left the room and closed the door behind him. Still affected by his dongsaeng’s speech, Mark leaned against the door he had just closed. He stayed that way, looking down, totally unaware of the intense gaze on him. He just realized someone was watching him when a familiar voice distracted him from his gloomy thoughts.

“Can we talk?” Jinyoung’s presence startled the American. The person Mark longed to see for hours was right in front of him. However, the singer’s question wasn’t welcomed by the elder.

“Now you wanna talk?! How long you’ve been there?” his tone was harsh, yet, all he wanted was to cry on his beloved’s shoulder. He crossed his arms and assumed a defensive demeanor.

“I’ve just arrived and noticed you there, completely absentminded. Are you okay?” Jinyoung asked with a tinge of worry in his voice, but Mark refused to look him in the eye.

“Why do you care?!” the elder demanded impatiently, throwing his hands in the air.

“I love you, Mark. That’s why.” The younger replied honestly, taking the other by surprise. The contradiction of those words felt like a punch in the gut. Was that so-called love that tore them apart?  Mark gulped and blinked a few times, he opened his mouth to say something hurtful to the other but he wasn’t able to. He was frozen on the spot. He hated to be that vulnerable in someone’s presence and Jinyoung knew exactly how to break down his walls. He just wanted to run and hide the tears forming in his eyes. However, the singer’s very presence held him in place.

“I don’t wanna talk to you.” Mark’s voice was almost a stuttered whisper. He felt a lump in the back of his throat as he struggled to fight back his tears. He could sense Jinyoung invading his personal space before he slowly lifted his chin to examine the his features. Mark couldn’t help but open his eyelids and look back into his eyes. Mark’s arms immediately fell on both his sides. When the singer’s hand reached for the back of his neck, he sighed dejectedly. Tears escaped from his eyes, after being denied their passage for so long. He felt the singer’s delicate fingers wipe them away.

“Tell me what’s wrong. Yugyeom texted me. He said you didn’t look well this morning.” The Korean placed a hand on the American’s forehead to check his temperature and seemed relieved to realize that Mark’s skin wasn’t feverish.

“I am not well because my fucking boyfriend asked for a break. I am not well because his shitty ex invited him to his hotel room last night! I am not well because you say we should stay away from each other, yet, you ran here when someone told you I looked like crap. I am not well because you don’t want me back but you keep telling me how much you love me. This is torture, Jinyoung. I can’t live like this anymore.” Mark protested, as he pushed the younger’s hands away from him and kept a safe distance from his touches.

“Come with me, I wanna show you something.” Jinyoung extended a hand to him and a feeling of déjà vu immediately run through the American. He remembered that when he and Jackson met up in Macau, right after a heated argument they had, the Chinese also invited him to go somewhere. It ended up being a brothel, and he ended up being raped by him there.

“Where? Why should I go anywhere with you?” Mark snapped, shaking his head in frustration.

“Don’t you trust me?” Jinyoung’s words challenged him.

“I don’t even trust myself.” The elder answered honestly as a feeling of defeat washed over him. He didn’t say anything when Jinyoung walked to him, took his hand in his and led him out of the lodging. They walked on the beach for about ten minutes and then took a path to what was called Gwakji’s secret beach. It was a smaller beach inside a beach that could provide them complete seclusion.

“Remember you told me that when we started the U.S tour you would like to spend some time on a beach with me, watch the quietness of the waves and hold my hand? It’s not America, Mark, but we can still do all that. As long as you are really sure you only wanna be with me.” Jinyoung stated, as he brought Mark’s hand to his lips and kissed the ring on his finger.

“Are you saying the break is over?” Mark’s heart almost skipped a beat, as an unexpected feeling of hope filled his chest.

“We are both miserable without each other, Mark. That’s a fact. I think it’s about time you put this on me.” Jinyoung said as he pulled a tiny sliver object out of his pocket and placed it on Mark’s palm. The American analyzed the ring in awe. It was exactly the same as the one Jinyoung had given him before, but there was an inside inscription that said, ‘Tuan’s property, for his eyes only’. The elder gasped at that.

“Oh my God, you remember this?!” Mark laughed out loud. Jinyoung missed that tingling sound. It made him happy, fulfilled. He had that ring in his possession for quite a while, he just needed to find the right moment to give it to his lover. He knew Mark was feeling insecure, as he felt months ago, at a certain occasion in which Kim Kwon showed up out of nowhere at a night club and invited him to dance. The elder’s words back then, never left his mind. Jinyoung’s gesture meant to reassure Mark of his feelings. Kwon would never be a threat to their relationship. He wasn’t before, he wouldn’t be now.

“Well it’s less painful than having my dick branded with a scorching iron.” Jinyoung gave him a cheeky smile and extended his hand to an elated Mark. The elder smiled widely and proudly slipped the ring on his finger.

“I guess that’s the part you kiss the bride.” The American couldn’t believe what was happening. He only realized it wasn’t a dream when he felt Jinyoung’s lips on him. The kiss started slow, but became desperate, as their tongues seemed to battle inside each other’s mouth. All the longing they felt for each other was being killed in that passionate encounter. Their hands immediately found their way around each other’s body. Jinyoung had his arms around Mark’s slender waist while the other held both sides of his face, liplocking the singer even deeper. They only parted to breathe.

“Wow, I missed this.” Jinyoung confessed, as he stared dreamingly into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“Same here. By the way, I love you too.” Mark stated lovingly and he gave Jinyoung another peck on the lips. Their arms never left each other.

“I love you more.” The singer said in a cooing voice that made Mark’s heart melt. Jinyoung was certain that he would spend the rest of his days in the arms of that man, no matter what. However, something still bothered him and he knew he had to clarify that with the American. Better late than never.

“A penny for your thoughts.” Mark commented, as he noticed how Jinyoung seemed to be lost in thought suddenly.

“You know I’d never show up at Kwon’s hotel room, right?” the singer asked tentatively.

“Let’s just drop this subject. It’s water under the bridge, let’s forget about this guy already.” Mark suggested, as he felt a tinge of anxiety inside him attempting to ruin that beautiful moment.

“You didn’t happen to see what happened in that toilet at the café, right?” Jinyoung inquired more serious as he felt Mark loose his hold on him.

“Why would you ask me that?” the elder frowned at his question, trying to keep his feeling in check.

“Although he told the police he didn’t see the face of his attacker properly, Kwon told me secretly that if I really wanted to know what happened I should ask you about the details.” The singer looked at his boyfriend suspiciously wondering what Mark could possibly know about it. He didn’t want to think that Mark saw what happened and kept quiet about it.

“He’s delusional! After I left that table I didn’t even see him anymore. You have to believe me.” Mark lied desperately as he took a few steps away from him. Now that Jinyoung and him seemed to have mended their relationship, he couldn’t allow Kim Kwon to destroy it.

“You were in the toilet, he was found in the toilet. Please Mark, if you saw anything you should tell the police. You wouldn’t be in trouble if you gave them the guy’s description. Any information would help the authorities catch this guy. Justice has to be done. We cannot let a lunatic walk around the island freely.” Jinyoung insisted vehemently and Mark felt a sudden rage take over him.

“Aren’t you listening to me? I saw nothing. It’s obvious he’s trying to set me up!  It’s his word against mine, Jin. He’s a lying snake! I don’t know why you’d rather take his side instead of mine. Do you even love me?” Mark’s lips quivered as he saw the suspicious look his boyfriend gave him. He bit his lips nervously and ran a hand through his hair repeatedly, trying to control his urge to flee from the other.

“I know when you’re hiding something from me, Mark. Just tell me.” The singer said firmly as he took a step forward. The American’s heavy sobs worried him. He wondered if Kwon’s attacker had threatened Mark or even done something to him.

“Why can’t you let this go?!” the elder yelled at him, clenching his fist. He felt like hitting the singer for being so stupid, for ruining that reconciliation.

“I want you to do the right thing. I know you are scared, but you don’t have to be! I’d never let anything happen to you. Imagine if we could put someone like Lee Tae-U behind bars?! Would you even miss that chance?” Jinyoung tried to reason with him, unable to understand his lover’s nervousness. When he tried to touch his shoulder, Mark avoided the contact.

“Enjoy your fucking walk on the beach Jinyoung. It was a mistake coming here with you. It was silly of me to think that we would ever be able to understand each other. Now if you excuse me, I’m going for a swim.” Mark retorted as he walked away from the younger and dashed towards the ocean. Jinyoung became alarmed and tried to catch up with him.

“Mark, wait! Come back!” Jinyoung shouted after him, but as soon as he caught up with the American, he felt a hard fist collide with the side of his face. The blow knocked him out cold on the sand. Darkness wrapped around him and he couldn’t see or do anything anymore.

Jinyoung woke up with someone calling out his name. He recognized that voice, it was Jackson.

“You’re finally up! Who would’ve thought that our skinny an cute American could punch that well. I was about to call the paramedics or something.”

“Mark! We need to find him, he went into the water. Help me find him!” Jinyoung exclaimed in an exasperated tone. He urged the Chinese who sat beside him on the sand to stand up and start swimming, but the rapper just shushed him.

“Relax, man! He’s okay, he’s at the lodging. The others are with him. He looked completely out of his fucking mind when he arrived, tough. He cried and screamed at us all at the same time. He kept telling that he had killed you on the beach and that we should call the cops on him. He scared the hell out of the youngsters, Jin. JB himself wanted to come and look for you, but I told him to stay and keep an eye on him. I wasn’t sure if my presence there wouldn’t make things worse. I already called and told them you were just out.” Jackson explained the situation quickly as he helped the other up.

“Thank God.” It was all the singer managed to say as he touched his wounded cheek.

“Care to tell me what the hell happened?” the rapper inquired, raising an eyebrow at the Korean.

“My stupidity happened. As simple as that.” Jinyoung said as he sighed frustrated. The relief he felt when Jackson told him Mark was alive, made him even feel grateful towards the rapper. He was simply unable to hate him at that moment.

“Did you give him a reason to hit you? What made you think he wanted to drown himself in the sea?” Jackson’s curiosity increased.

“He got mad when I brought up Kwon’s assault. I just asked him if he had seen anything in that toilet and he went berserk. I don’t know what to think anymore.” The dongsaeng looked conflicted as he stared at the sun right above them. Dark clouds seemed to steal its radiance as they quietly filled the sky with a murky gray contour.

“What makes you think he knows anything about it?” Jackson looked puzzled at the younger.

“Kwon mentioned it. He told me to ask Mark about it.” Jinyoung answered promptly.

“What if Mark is the one the cops are looking for? Would you report him?” the rapper turned to his dongsaeng and stared directly into his bewildered eyes.

“He would never do something like that! He couldn’t overpower a man like Kwon. That’s insane, Jack!”

“Mark is insane.” The rapper commented bitterly as he ignored the frightened expression on Jinyoung’s face.

“We should go back. I need to see him.” The younger suggested nervously as he turned his back to Jackson and started walking to the lodging.

“You haven’t answered my question.” Jackson feared his response. Those words made the singer stop dead in his tracks.

“I don’t know.” he answered honestly before a long minute had passed.

“Let’s go. The others are worried about you.” The rapper stated as he walked along the shore with the singer.

Chapter Text

As soon as the two arrived, Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom ran in their direction. Jinyoung briefly answered their worried questions regarding what happened on the beach without giving them much details about the real reason of his fight with Mark.

“Is he in the bedroom with Jaebeom? Jackson asked as soon as he noticed the absence of the two oldest members of Got7 in the living room.

“No. They left after your call. As soon as Mark heard that Jinyoung was all right, he said he couldn’t stay here anymore and packed his stuff. We weren’t able to convince him to stay, so JB insisted to accompany him to the nearest hotel. He said he would let us know where they are as soon as they checked in.” Bambam informed with a disheartened expression on his face. Jackson wished could console his young friend like in the old days. But he knew things had changed between them.

“I’m sure JB will stay with him and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Our leader knows what to do, let’s just trust him.” Yugyeom tried to cheer up his friend, but he also felt extremely impotent. He knew Mark wasn’t well and he didn’t know how to help his favorite hyung.

“Let’s wait for JB’s call, then. He’s in good hands, kids. Mark will come back to us when he’s ready.” Jinyoung tried his best to comfort the youngsters, but he himself felt like crying his eyes out.

“Hey, guys, let’s have lunch. I saw a very nice BBQ restaurant not very far from here. It’s already 2PM and you guys look like you haven’t eaten yet. It’s on me, let’s go.” Jackson announced casually. He was the hyung in there and he felt obliged to act like a responsible one in that occasion, even if the others dismissed his efforts.

“We are waiting for JB’s call, remember? Who will be able to eat anything without them here? And why would we join you?” Yugyeom retorted a bit annoyed.

“I agree with Jackson. An empty sack cannot stand upright. We should grab our cellphones and go with him. If any of them call, we’ll be able to communicate with them and decide what to do next. We ought to be strong for Mark when he comes back. I’m sure he’ll blame himself if he finds out we’ve skipped lunch because of him.” Jinyoung commented, surprising everyone in the room. They never expected to hear those words from the singer, since he couldn’t even stand being around the rapper lately. They had no idea how Jinyoung was devastated. He was still striving to register Jackson’s words, that dreadful possibility still haunted his mind. He didn’t want to believe that Mark was capable of hurting a human being so terribly, but he couldn’t ignore the conspicuous guilt on Mark’s expression earlier. He was still too numb to feel anger towards the Chinese.

“If that’s okay with you, then I guess we can go out and mercilessly spend his money, since he’s offering.” Bambam’s tone was lighter as he swiftly glanced at Jackson.

“I’m coming too.” Youngjae whispered without much energy.

“All right! Lead the way, Wang. We are all obviously too messed up to accept your suggestion. But remember, this doesn’t change anything. This is just a freaking lunch we’re gonna have together. We are not your friends and nothing will be like it was before. You are not one of us.” Yugyeom stated firmly as he opened the front door and signaled the Chinese to walk ahead of them.  Jackson swallowed hard those words and nodded at the fierce maknae. The four members followed him when he walked out of the lodging, but none of the dared to talk to him.

Not very far from the restaurant they decided to stay, Mark and JB checked in a spacious hotel room. The elder was quietly sitting on the bed while Jaebeom patted his back.

“I myself even felt like hitting Jinyoung sometimes. He can be very annoying when he wants to. Don’t beat yourself up, hyung. Jackson said he was just unconscious, remember? You can’t kill someone with a simple punch. I don’t know what he said to you and it’s not really my business, but it’s not the end of the world. Let’s just go back there. You guys can talk again and you just have to say you’re sorry. He loves you.” JB assured him, trying his best to get some reaction from the silent American. They were like that for almost half an hour. The leader was getting worried. He didn’t even remember to call the other members. Mark looked catatonic as soon as they entered that room and he knew he had to do something fast. Jaebeom wasn’t sure of what to do, but he was willing to do whatever was necessary to break Mark out of that trance. Then he took of his top, hoping to get a reaction from the other, but he still didn’t move. He removed his shorts and stood in front of Mark only in his boxers. He turned on the TV, he made jokes, he danced, he sang, he made ageyo poses and even touched himself a bit. However, Mark’s faraway look remained the same. JB felt like crying. He was genuinely scared for the American.

So he tried the last thing which came to his mind. He kneeled in front of the elder and stared deeply into his glazed over eyes. Holding both sides of Mark’s face, he leaned on him and brought their lips together. The quick peck on his lips still had no effect on the American.

“Please Mark, come back to us. We need you, man. Don’t do this to your little brothers, don’t give up on GOT7. Hyung, please, come back to me.” JB begged as he leaned on Mark again and captured his lips more confidently. He put all his emotion into that kiss. He wanted Mark to feel the sincerity of that gesture, after all, those were the lips he had saved only for Youngjae.

To JB’s surprise, he saw the elder slowly close his eyes and slightly open his mouth to deepen their kiss. He praised himself internally for finally being able to get a reaction from his hyung. Jaebeom’s heart fluttered as he noticed how Mark softly welcomed his tongue inside his mouth. Soon Mark’s hands were all over his naked torso. JB didn’t want that kiss to end, nor did the American. When the elder moaned inside his mouth, the other felt his body react instantly. It sounded like music to his ears and he wanted to listen to more of that melody. His boxers suddenly became too tight, when the elder’s hands travelled to his groin. Within seconds, JB felt like he couldn’t take it anymore. He suddenly stood up, pushed Mark further into the bed and threw himself between his legs. Mark pulled JB’s body to him, loving the friction caused by the movements of their hips. He immediately circled his legs around the younger’s firm waist eager to bring the other even closer to him. As soon as JB got rid of the elder’s T-shirt he attacked Mark’s neck, carefully biting the soft flesh right below his earlobe. He didn’t intend to leave any mark on his hyung’s milky skin, he knew that a lingering bruise on that man would drive Jinyoung and Jackson hysterical. So he just tasted, kissed, licked and teased the sensitive skin. Mark’s moans grew louder when JB started sucking on one of his nipples while he massaged the other with his finger. All the time the elder tried to reach for his neglected penis underneath his pants but JB stopped him.

“I’m in charge this time, loverboy. You just lay back there and enjoy it. I wanna score full marks on this lesson.” JB declared as he himself pulled Mark’s erection out of his joggers and started masturbating him. The elder screamed in the pleasure when the younger removed the rest of his clothes and rubbed one finger against the tip of his length. When Mark found himself completely naked underneath JB he blushed furiously. While Jaebeom gave him a blowjob the Korean’s lust-filled eyes never left his. The intense gaze made Mark buck his hips against the other’s mouth. JB deep throated him like a pro. The American arched his back sensually as he felt his orgasm build up. The leader almost came inside his boxers from just watching Mark’s body react to his skillful mouth. As Mark’s moans became louder he increased the rhythm of his sucking.

“Bummie, release me. I’m gonna come.” Mark warned, as he was unsure about discharging his seed inside the younger’s mouth. Jaebeom gave him a teasing look before taking him even deeper into his mouth. The elder instantly ejaculated still inside the younger’s hot cave. JB swallowed his load and gave a final kiss on the tip of his penis. Mark was still recovering from the effects of his climax when he heard JB’s sexy voice address him.

“Markie, did you pack your lube? I can’t wait to fill you up with me.” JB grinned widely as he beheld the crimson color rise to the other’s cheeks. The American always became shy when JB talked dirty to him. The leader loved to tease him and he knew it. Mark only pointed to his bag that was on the floor next to the bed. JB gave him a peck and went to collect the bottle from the elder’s bag quickly. The view of JB’s body was intoxicating, Mark longed to see his naked ass.

“Why are you still on your boxers? Do you intend to fuck me on those?” Mark asked abruptly, making the other turn around and raise an eyebrow at his hyung’s boldness.

“Are you that desperate for my dick, Markie? Haste is the enemy of perfection, loverboy.” JB told him as he winked at the other. When Jaebeom finally found what he was looking for, he returned to the bed. His movements were almost feline, while he slowly climbed on top of the American and started sniffing him all over.

“What are you doing?” the elder asked as he observed the leader’s nose travel from his chest to lower abdomen.

“Playing with my food. That’s what predators do. I’m gonna eat you up completely, hyung.” JB answered him in an incredibly erotical tone, Mark blushed furiously. And before the American could say anything, JB was kissing him passionately again, while his hands spread Mark’s legs open. The elder managed to pull down JB’s boxers, but before Mark could touch his erection, JB slapped his hands away.

“Naughty boy. I’d rather if you used your pretty mouth, loverboy.” The leader stated in a commanding voice as he ruffled the elder’s silk hair. Mark enjoyed that playful dominant side of JB, he found it hot. JB sat back on the bed while he watched Mark get on all fours and move his face to his crotch. From his angle JB could enjoy the beautiful sight of Mark’s butt up in the air, he loved its delicate curves and the way its cheeks would fit perfectly in his hands as soon as the elder spread his legs for him again. That thought alone made JB moan. The American was still performing oral sex on him, stimulating his penis and testicles skillfully with his mouth when JB abruptly changed positions again, pushing Mark’s back to the bed. He was fully hard when he abandoned the elder’s mouth. But he didn’t want to finish inside his mouth, he wanted to penetrate the American and feel his warmth clench around him.

“Mark, I’m gonna prepare you, okay? I’m aching to be inside you.” JB confessed sexily as Mark quickly nodded at him. The leader gave him a long desperate kiss, before smearing his fingers with lube. The elder tensed a bit as he observed the whole preparation. He was no virgin, but since Macao that was a delicate experience for him. He didn’t mind letting Jinyoung penetrate him. They were boyfriends and he trusted the singer completely. JB was his recent fuck-buddy and the younger didn’t have any experience being on top, at least not with another male. Any wrong, too rough or sloppy movement could easily give Mark a fissure. He didn’t wanna start panicking the way he did at Kookie’s party or at Lee’s mansion, but the more he thought about it the more anxious he became.

“Listen Jaebeomie, this is the part you must pay some seriously attention to your partner’s expression. No matter how much hard your dick is, you need to be patient and considerate. He’s the one who’s gonna tell you’re doing something wrong or not. So, just go slow.” Mark said as he sighed nervously.

“Hey, who do you take me for? I’m a gentleman.” JB commented, as he slowly managed to slip a finger inside Mark’s anus. The American’s breath hitched for a second. JB kissed his forehead, cheeks and mouth while he touched Mark’s semi hard penis.

“Relax, loverboy. Trust me, Markie.” Jaebeom managed to whisper in his ear, as he slipped a second finger inside him, just as slow as he slipped the first. Mark bit his lower lip as he started to feel good. The way JB’s fingers scissored his entrance and then moved inside him was nice, it somehow got rid of his initial tension. When a third finger found his sweet spot, Mark groaned loudly.

“Bummie.” He whispered, as JB looked at him alarmed.

“Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?” the leader suddenly remembered Mark’s terrible experience with Jackson and almost climbed away from the bed, yet, the American was quicker and held onto him.

“You can fuck me now.” Mark said in a sultry voice as he guided JB’s hard length inside his own hole. JB moaned as he buried his penis inside his hyung’s anus. They both started to move together moderately. However as their rhythm increased, Mark started to raise his hips up in time with JB’s intense thrusts so that he could go in even deeper.

“God, Mark, you’re so tight! I love how tight you are. I love being inside you.” JB exclaimed between groans of pleasure. Mark loved his orgasmic voice.

“Wanna try taking me from behind?” Mark asked more adventurous and bolder. The leader licked his lips, wondering how long he would last if he Mark decided to teach him all at once. But he took his length out of Mark’s anus just to insert it in again when Mark turned aroundand  presented his round and delicious ass to him. JB held onto his hips and pounded his hyung’s ass with more eagerness. He loved that dominating position, he was anxious to try it with Jae. But all he could think know was the feeling of Mark’s butt colliding with his balls as he moved in and out of him. Mark was already losing his mind with the incredible amount of pleasure he was feeling. He never felt so kinky.

“If there is any other basic detail to this lesson you’d better show me now, cause I won’t last much. Your ass is driving me crazy up here.” He could hear Mark’s chuckle mixed with his moans. The leader knew he was almost there too. Jaebeom felt one of Mark’s hands push against his thigh and he knew it was a sign for him to stop. He stood still for a while as he felt Mark’s warmth slip away from him again.

“I wanna come looking at your face. I’m gonna sit on your dick and ride you till we’re finished. Is that okay?” the elder asked, and JB just nodded excitedly at him.

“My dick is all yours.” The leader laid down in the bed as he watched Mark move on top of him and guide his penis inside him again.

“You’re so big, Jaebum-ah. You’re a stud indeed.” The elder whispered as he rode the younger and enjoyed how the leader bucked his hips to him. While one of JB’s firm hands stimulated his penis, the other gripped his hips strongly. Sexual noises became even louder as Mark leaned on him for support. His legs were getting weaker as he felt JB hit his prostate continuously. He was gonna come pretty soon.

“Can I come inside you?” JB stuttered, examining the elder’s face closely. Mark pondered that question. Only Jackson and Jinyoung had done that to him while they were in a relationship. He wondered if he would be considered a whore if he let JB do the same, after all they aren’t together.

“Do it.” Mark declared, letting go of all his worries. As soon as he said the words, he felt JB’s warm seed fill his insides. He didn’t feel as dirty as he thought he would. He soon reached his climax and fell on the bed exhausted beside the Korean. He could feel the younger’s semen dripping out of him. Jaebeom didn’t make him bleed, nor made him feel guilty. He definitely loved to have sex with that man.

“I kissed you on the lips.” JB commented without a trace of remorse in his voice.

“I let you fuck my ass and come inside me without a condom.” Mark uttered similarly unconcerned.

“No worries, loverboy. I promise you I’ve always been careful with the girls I’ve slept with. I’m totally clean. And if it’s babies you’re worried about, I assure I won’t get you pregnant either.” The younger winked at him shamelessly.

“That’s just kinda a big deal for me. I mean, for someone to be inside me and all.” The elder confessed as he felt his cheeks getting hotter. He was sure his face was already red as a tomato.

“That was amazing, by the way. You’re so incredibly tight inside.” JB stated with a smirk as he sneaked one arm around the elder’s neck and pinched his sides with his free hand. He loved to tease the American, and he knew how all that sex talk made him feel extremely embarrassed.

“No kidding. Your lips are really something else.” Mark gave him a small smile, just to have Jaebeom bring their faces closer again and press their lips together.

“I think I’m gonna write a song about today. I’m definitely gonna call it ‘Deeper’.” The Korean announced excitedly as he released his hyung’s mouth and palmed his ass. Mark squealed with the contact and pushed his hand away. He didn’t wanna get hard again, and he knew JB’s intentions. His power of seduction was invincible. The elder needed to be careful not to get addicted to his touches.

“Wanna shower together?” Mark asked, although he had just promised himself that he wouldn’t give in to the leader’s alluring charms so soon.

“Thought you would never ask.” Jaebeom laughed as he immediately got up from the bed and lifted Mark up. He carried the protesting American in bridal style till they reached the bathtub. None of them were able to hear the ringing of their phones as they pleased each other in the tube. Neither Jaebeom nor Mark were ready to let go of each other yet. As JB laid back on the tub, the elder sat on his lap, wrapped his legs around his body and rode the younger, whose hands hungrily held on to his hips. The Korean was like an anesthetic to Mark and the American was like an entertaining u-turn in JB’s sex life.

Chapter Text

In the evening of that day, JB left a message on the group chat saying that he and Mark were at a hotel and as soon as he convinced the elder of going back to the lodging, they would join them. The leader didn’t reveal where they were nor if they’d be returning that night. The members asked dozens of questions when they got that brief information on their cellphones, but the leader never answered any of them. As soon as Jaebeom posted the message, he immediately went offline.

“The hotel they are staying must have a pretty bad Wi-Fi signal. But, at least now we know they’re alive.” Yugyeom commented tiredly after shoving his phone in his pocket. He was relieved to hear from the leader, but he didn’t know what to expect when the oldest members of the group returned. After Got5 had lunch at the BBQ restaurant Jackson mentioned earlier, all of them went to a bar, and then a pub and then every single place in the island where they could order drinks. They only returned to the lodging in the evening, after watching the sundown on the shores of a beach. Drunk as they were, the animosities had lessened a bit and the group didn’t antagonize the Chinese so much. However, none of them cracked jokes or chatted excitedly about anything. That gathering wasn’t like the ones they had in the old days. Alcohol was just a way to distract themselves from the crisis they were facing.

“I really need a shower! What if JB shows up and sees me plastered like this? I’ve gotta get rid of this stench of alcohol.” Youngjae announced as he yawned and disappeared into the room he shared with Jinyoung.

“JB cannot blame us for getting shitfaced. It’s not every day we see Mark hyung flipping out like that.” A tipsy Bambam commented sprawled out on the couch.

“We hold the intervention meeting and we get him help. He’ll understand that we worry about him and that we care about his health. We’ll convince Mark that he needs professional help and that all we want is for him to get better.” Jinyoung said firmly. Earlier, while they drank at a certain bar, Got5 started researching on their phones about several PTSD programs and the best mental institutions were Mark could be properly treated. Bambam suggested an intervention when Yugyeom mentioned that the elder would probably feel offended if they contacted any medical center without his knowledge. Jackson was against the idea, but no one cared about his opinion. Youngjae only claimed that they should hear what JB had to say about it first before they acted.

“Remind me again why we are not contacting his family for this upcoming event.” Jackson blurted out sarcastically. He was the only one who thought that Mark’s parents should be involved in that so-called intervention. He did not think Mark would be easily convinced by his friends to seek help. In his viewpoint, none of them were prepared to handle a situation like that.

“Because he’ll feel like we betrayed him. If we bring the Tuans here, their presence will put too much pressure on him. We gotta get him to trust us first and make him realize that he has a problem. His destructive behavior is not only a danger to himself. Look at Jinyoung hyung’s face! What if he had really killed him?” Yugyeom had a concerned expression on his face. He wanted to believe that the GOT7 family’s efforts would be enough to save the American.

“We corner him like that and he won’t have a reason to trust us ever again.” The Chinese declared.

“We don’t know how Mark will react to this intervention. Actually, you are the reason why we gotta keep this thing between ourselves. Who knows, you might be the reason he is in need of an intervention! We have to do this whole shit secretly just to fucking protect you, Wang. Imagine if his parents, brother and sisters show up here and suddenly the word ‘rape’ comes out of his mouth! You’d be in trouble, and though I’d love to see you in prison, we shouldn’t forget about Lee’s rules. No police involved.” Jinyoung retorted while leaning against the wall of the living room. The rapper huffed awkwardly when the singer crossed his arms and shot him a dirty look.

“Where the hell is this letter2u by the way? Any ideas?” Bambam asked, as he glanced at Jackson suspiciously.

“Don’t look at me. Gladly, I haven’t heard from him since we landed on the island. I mean, everyone received the message he sent us with those instructions about where each couple should go as soon as we arrived in the lodging. That was all I heard from him.” The rapper quickly defended himself and before he could say anything else in his defense, a recently showered Youngjae came out of his bedroom in a hurry and joined the others in the living room.

“Jackson hyung, did you post anything on Weibo?” the dongsaeng asked with a terrified look on his face as he held his mobile in one hand.

“Why, what is it now?” the rapper looked alarmed as he approached the younger and had a look at Youngjae’s phone. The rapper was facing an online backlash for a supposed post on Weibo in which he declared himself a guardian of the Chinese flag.

“Have you heard about these protests in Hong Kong? Did you take any sides? They are saying you’re only after the money and fame you get from Mainland China. Are you into politics or something?” Bambam inquired as he himself pulled out his phone and started to research the topic on Google. The confused rapper was speechless. He had horror written all over his face.

“It was Lee Tae-U wasn’t it?” Yugyeom guessed quickly and the other just nodded his head in frustration. An upset Jackson immediately started typing on his phone while the others wondered what kind of impact that stunt could mean to the rapper’s career.

“This shit is serious. They are making threats and they don’t even want you to show your face in your own birthplace! What’s wrong with this people?” Bambam sounded annoyed.

“They have a reason to protest and be angry, Bam. Hongkongers go to great lengths to protect their freedom. Listen, I’ve gotta make some calls. I’m worried about some people I know in there. I’ll be in my room. Good night.” Jackson excused himself nervously and left the other members with worried expression on their faces.

“His parents are in China, right?” Youngjae asked, his voice was tense.

“Yes. But I think they own a place in Hong Kong too.” Jinyoung answered shortly as he also checked the news on his phone. He was also concerned about the Wangs. He liked Jackson’s parents and no matter how mad he was at the rapper, his family had nothing to do with their problems. He didn’t know how bad the situation was at their home country, but judging by Jackson’s reaction, he knew it wasn’t a matter to be taken lightly. At some point, the whole band could also be affected by that post. Got7 was clearly having the best and the worst year of their lives. He wondered why Lee Tae-U would hack Jackson’s Weibo account and do something like that. Was it because the rapper changed their tables at the Café? He wanted to think that Jackson deserved all those terrible words and criticisms he was receiving from all those thousands of infuriated netizens, yet, he couldn’t help but feel extremely bothered by the death threats. Not long ago Jinyoung wished his band mate’s death, but he wasn’t really sure about how he would feel once Jackson was gone. The singer hated that feeling of pity he felt for Wang. At least this time, he was being punished for the wrong reasons.

“So Lee is still watching us and he is still not a great fan of Jackson hyung. He still have hackers doing his dirty work for him. What else is new? I’m just surprised he let Mark and JB leave this lodging since he’s so strict about his damn rules.” Yugyeom commented thoughtfully as he also started reading on his phone about the Weibo matter.

“What if none of them is contacting us because letter2u has them? That asshole could be with our hyungs at this very moment. I mean, it does explain a lot of things. Why JB and Mark are not picking up our calls or why they didn’t tell us where they are!” Youngjae seemed genuinely terrified. The other youngsters seemed to consider that idea for a while, but before that comment turned into a hot topic, Jinyoung stopped them.

“Hey, let’s not let our minds run wild here, okay? Lee has no reason to kidnap them or something. It’s late and we are all wrecked and exhausted. I’m sure we’ll see our hyungs tomorrow morning. Let’s go to our beds everyone, come on. Chop, chop!” Jinyoung said with determination. His dongsaeng’s fears weren’t unfounded, but he didn’t even want to entertain that possibility. Soon, all the youngsters followed his suggestion and went to their rooms. The singer had to spend the night calming Youngjae down, assuring him that his friend and his boyfriend were okay.

The next morning Jaebeom and Mark were already in front of the lodging when they noticed the quietness of the place. They eyed each other with uncertainty while they opened the frontdoor. It was already 10:30 in the morning and the silence reigned inside those walls. The two Got7 members felt like they had walked into graveyard.

“Where the hell is everyone?!” JB went to the kitchen, and then to the living room, the service room, all the while calling the name of his dongsaengs. Mark didn’t think twice before going to Jinyoung’s room. As soon as he opened the door, a chill ran down his spine. In the bed, he saw Youngjae and Jinyoung as motionless as two fresh corpses. He froze on the spot. He wanted to scream, run to them, but his body wouldn’t move.

“Hey, Mark! The others are upstairs, still sleeping. I think they drank last night. Are Jin and Jae out too? What are you doing standing there?” Jaebeom approached the elder leaning on the bedroom door and touched his shoulder. Mark was already hyperventilating.

“I …think… they are…” the American stuttered, as he remained petrified. The leader frowned at his hyung’s unusual behavior. JB glanced at the two in the bed and then turned his gaze to Mark again.

“They are sleeping, man. Relax, okay?” The Korean assured him, as he approached the bed and lifted the blanket up from Jinyoung’s body, just to prove to Mark that he was still breathing.

“Are…you…sure?!” Mark’s frightened eyes focused on the singer’s rib cage. The American’s lips quivered and his hands started shaking. He couldn’t see his boyfriend’s chest moving, he was sure his lungs weren’t working. It was also like that yesterday on the beach. After he punched Jinyoung, he could swear the singer had stopped breathing and even when he checked his pulse, he convinced himself that the younger was dead.

“Mark stop looking at them like that. I’ve just told you they are fine! Can’t you see?!” JB’s voice raised, but his words were completely ignored as he walked to his hyung impatiently. The American was already crouching in front of the door as his eyes started watering. JB put a hand on his knee and tried to make the elder face him, but it was another person who made Mark wake from his stupor.

“Mark?” Jinyoung suddenly sat up in bed, awakened by his best friend’s edgy tone of voice. The first thing he saw was the elder on the floor being supported by JB’s hands. However, as soon as he called the American’s name, Mark stood up abruptly and his anxious arms reached for him in the bed. Jinyoung’s arms immediately circled his boyfriend’s back when he felt the weight of his body on his. JB watched the scene in awe. The sudden change in Mark, his expression of joyful relief and the thousands ‘I’m sorrys’ he whispered in Jinyoung’s ear was almost painful to witness. Those two looked very much in love and he couldn’t help but feel a bit of remorse as he eyed the content smile playing on his best friend’s lips. Regret slapped him hard on the face.

“Choi Youngjae, I stay out for one night and when I return you’re already cuddling with another man in bed! That kinda hurt my feelings, you know?” the leader grunted, averting his eyes from the happy couple lying beside his beloved. He tried to remain cool as the two started kissing passionately. Mark and Jinyoung seemed to totally ignore his presence. He sighed in disbelief as he remembered how those plump lips felt against his a few hours ago. He could remember every single inch of Mark’s mouth, and how his cheeks flushed when his tongue hungrily battled against his as they laid naked in a bed of a certain hotel room. He still could feel the smell of his hair, the silkiness of his skin, his hot breath against his neck, the warmth of his fingers on his back. JB felt like suffocating as those sinful images flashed through his mind. He wished he could delete all of them. When he heard a moan escape from Jinyoung’s mouth, he knew he had to leave immediately. He couldn’t stay in that room for too long. He snorted indignantly as his boyfriend refused to wake up. Youngjae wasn’t a morning person and waking him up was quite a hard mission to accomplish. So he lifted the whining Youngjae up and carried him out of the bedroom. Before he kicked the door shut he turned to the couple again.

“We are officially changing rooms now. 2jae urgently needs some private time and you guys clearly claimed this bed as yours already. Enjoy it!” the leader scoffed and finally left with a half awake Youngjae on his back. As soon as Jaebeom and his boyfriend disappeared from the room, Jinyoung disentangled his limbs from Mark and stared into his eyes.

“Why are you wearing JB’s perfume?” the singer asked in a serious tone. The American looked shocked for a minute, but he didn’t want to show it.

“Why is the smell of Youngjae’s shampoo all over your shirt?” Mark asked, mimicking his hard expression and firm voice. Jinyoung smiled at that as he caressed the back of the elder’s neck.

“I was worried about you. Why didn’t you guys call? Thanks to Youngjae’s creative mind, I was almost convinced that Tae-U was torturing you two somewhere on this island.” The singer shook his head in frustration as he pecked Mark’s lips.

“I was out of it and I guess JB was too busy looking after me.” Mark lied as he bit his lips nervously. Jinyoung didn’t miss that. He knew he was hiding something from him, but he didn’t want to push him too much at that moment.

“I’m sorry for yesterday. I shouldn’t have accused you like that. You said you didn’t see anything, and I should’ve believed you. My bad, I’m an idiot. Please tell me we are okay.” The singer almost begged as he wrapped his arms around the American again and gave him another peck on the lips. Mark was straddling him in bed with an awkward expression on his face.

“I hit you pretty hard and left you lying unconscious on the sand. That’s wrong. How come you’re the one asking for forgiveness?” Mark interjected as he touched the fading bruise on his boyfriend’s cheek.

“I know you didn’t mean it. Let’s just forget about that and move on with our lives. Our lives together, of course. We are still boyfriends, aren’t we?” Jinyoung cocked his head to the side and winked at the American. Mark thought about telling his lover the whole truth, how Kwon had harassed him at that café and how he had brutally lost control in that toilet. He also considered revealing to his lover how he cheated on him for the second time with his best friend. But he didn’t want to ruin that moment, he didn’t want to undo that angelic beam etched on his boyfriend’s perfect features. Lies were often kinder than the truth.

“Obviously. I am yours and you are mine. We even have rings to prove that.” Mark smiled widely as he brought their hands together and kissed the ring on Jinyoung’s finger. The way the elder’s lips landed on the surface of the silver object was almost illegal. The singer could swear he saw lust in those adorable cinnamon eyes. When Mark drove his tongue between two of his fingers Jinyoung groaned helplessly. The American smiled wickedly at that reaction. He knew how to tease his boyfriend. And Jinyoung knew exactly how to turn the tables on him. He flipped their positions and immediately he was on top of Mark, who suddenly became alarmed. He wondered if JB had left any vestige of their earlier activities on his body. As observant as his boyfriend usually was, Jinyoung wouldn’t have any trouble finding any trace of his best friend on his skin.

“Mine?” Jinyoung’s question was almost a whisper against the skin of his neck. The Korean opened a few buttons of the elder’s shirt, but didn’t unbutton it completely. Just part of Mark’s chest was exposed. Jinyoung seemed to be slowly examining every pore in his nipples and shoulders. The way the younger rubbed his face against his chest was mesmerizing. He wanted to leave his scent there, above his man’s heart. That heart which was completely his. The American trembled underneath his lover. He couldn’t help but moan when the singer licked his earlobe, kissed his collarbone and finally landed his teeth on the side of his neck. He bit him on the same spot Lee had left a mark once. Waves of pleasure assaulted Mark and he was sure that if Jinyoung sank his teeth a bit further he would come instantaneously. As if he had read his thoughts, the younger released his abused skin and captured his mouth in a devouring kiss. When his hands touched the bulge in Mark’s pants the elder whimpered. But it was when his hands slipped inside his boxers that Mark pushed him away.

“My hands are too cold or something?” a frowning Jinyoung asked as he sat on Mark’s hips. The American gulped uncomfortably. Suddenly he was absolutely sure that perfume wasn’t the only thing JB had left on his body or inside it. He could remember the feeling of JB’s ejaculation invading him several times, not only yesterday but also that morning. He had taken a shower, but somehow he felt like he couldn’t clean that spot inside him, the one which was touched by the leader’s seed. He couldn’t get rid of that thought. That sensation of being stained was overwhelming. He didn’t want to soil the singer with his filthiness. He didn’t want to see his lover in the arms of a used whore. He didn’t want Jinyoung to find out that he was that whore. And Mark could swear that if he made love to him at that moment, his boyfriend would realize that. He was too scared to let boyfriend inspect his body so soon.

“Maybe we could just enjoy some dry-humping.” Mark suggested weakly as he hoped that his boyfriend wouldn’t ask too much questions.

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but you don’t have to be scared. Don’t worry, I’ve got lots of lube in the drawer and I’ll go slow, you know I will. I promise you won’t bleed this time.” Jinyoung tried to convince his boyfriend as he showered his face with kisses.

“I don’t know.” It was all Mark managed to say as he mentally facepalmed himself, trying to come up with a proper excuse.

“I love you, Markie. Let me show you how much I love you.” Jinyoung insisted, as he rubbed his ass against Mark’s clothed erection. The way he said those words almost melted the elder’s heart.

“I love you and I want you too…” Mark whispered almost inaudible. He was supposed to add a ‘but’ in his sentence, but Jinyoung was faster capturing his mouth. He deepened the kiss as his thumbs played with Mark’s face, then his nipples and bellybutton. When the Korean released his lips Mark was in heaven, unable to voice his thoughts coherently.

“Don’t you wanna be inside me? Don’t you want me inside you?” the younger asked sensually.

“Yes.” Mark confessed inebriated.

“Tell me what you want, baby.” Jinyoung asked as he started to undo Mark’s pants and pull his boxers down. For a lingering second the American remembered JB’s sultry face above his, the breathtaking kisses, the erotic sounds coming from his lips, the inconvenient sex jokes, his sweating broad shoulders, the frenetic move of his delicious hips, his toned abs wet with cum, his hard and insatiable dick thrusting inside his hole and filling him with his semen, and the way he made him feel guiltless in his bed.

“Stop.” The American said abruptly. Jinyoung stopped his hands and stared as his lover’s eyes quizzically. He hadn’t registered his boyfriend’s words yet.

“What?” the singer stared at his hyung’s lips, wondering if he had heard right.

“Get off me, please. I can’t do this now.” The elder was able to gather all the strength left in him to utter those words.

“Sorry for pushing.” The younger said a bit disappointed trying to control his breath as he threw himself on the spot Youngjae occupied earlier in the bed and laid beside Mark. He was too aroused and his erection ached inside his shorts.

“It’s okay. Let me give you a hand.” The American declared as he quickly pulled down his boyfriend’s shorts and boxers and started masturbating him with his hands. The singer groaned with the contact.

“You don’t have to.” Jinyoung moaned as he watched his boyfriend’s fingers stimulating his penis.

“I want to.” Mark whispered as he gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“During our break…Have you been with someone else?” Jinyoung asked out of the blue, without looking at him.

“Have you?” Mark’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t want to lie again, but he had promised JB that no one would ever know.

“No, of course not.” The younger swore, but Mark didn’t.

“If you started falling out of love with me, you would tell me, right?” Jinyoung’s insecurity was clearly visible. The American felt sick to his stomach seeing him like that. When he entered that room and thought his boyfriend was dead, he felt as if his world was about to end, yet, now he just felt like his soul was breaking. Kwon’s words kept echoing in his mind. ‘You are failure, Tuan. You’re blessed with such looks but you’re unable to make a man happy.’ Suddenly Mark wished he had smashed his own face against the mirror of that toilet at the café. If he could, he would gladly trade his stunning looks and his troubled mind for an ugly face and a peaceful brain. He would swap places with Kwon in a second if that meant abolishing that anguish inside him. He felt like he should be the one disfigured lying in a hospital bed. He wondered if those visions he kept having of Jinyoung’s death meant that he was killing his own boyfriend little by little. Yesterday on the beach, Mark thought he had killed him with a punch, and minutes ago, for some reason, he believed that Jinyoung had found out about his affair with Jaebeom and somehow, that betrayal had given him and Youngjae a hard attack in that bed. Was he being paranoid because he had a guilty conscience after all? Why did he keep hurting the most important person in his life? The American wished he could love the singer the way the younger deserved to be loved.

“That will never happen. My love for you will never run out, Jinyoungie.” Mark assured him as he increased the speed of his hands and descended his lips on his.

“I love you.” Jinyoung mumbled as he held Mark’s face to his and felt waves of pleasure hit him when he finally reached his climax.

“Let me take care of you too.” The singer offered but Mark broke the kiss and shook his head negatively.

“I am cool, I just need a shower.” The elder got up from the bed ignoring his own hard on, went into the bathroom, got a towel and came back to the bed to clean up his boyfriend.

“I have to agree with that. Just go ahead and get rid of his perfume. It’s unnerving to smell him on you.” Jinyoung pointed out seriously as he met the other’s eyes. Mark just nodded at him before looking away in shame.

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” he asked in a little dispirited tone.

“It’s ours now. I am sure Youngjae is not coming back here. JB will make sure of that.”

“Okay.” Mark nodded again and disappeared into the bathroom. Jinyoung thought about asking if he could join him in the shower, but he got rid of that idea as soon as he heard a key turning in a lock. He wasn’t welcome in there. Jinyoung was aware that Mark was weirder than usual, but he forced himself to concentrate on the ceiling above him. He wondered if an intervention would be enough. He hated to think that Jackson could be right. Months ago, the rapper had given him two alternatives, leaving Mark or calling his parents to commit him for treatment. None of those options seemed bearable, but only one couldn’t be ignored anymore. Mark had become too dangerous, not only to himself but also to others around him, and Jinyoung couldn’t overlook his episodes anymore. A tear slipped from the corner of his eye as he feared what the elder could be doing to hurt himself in that locked up bathroom. However, he tried not to despair yet. He could already imagine what could happen if he knocked on that door and demanded answers from his lover. He knew Mark could have a breakdown again. Therefore, he decided that he would wait for his boyfriend to come out that bathroom willingly and hopefully unharmed. He had been to hell and back in several occasions since he started dating Mark, yet, he had no intention of giving up on him, not now, not ever.

Chapter Text

Mark was still in the bathroom when a concerned Bambam entered Jinyoung’s room without knocking. The Thai boy looked exasperated as he started telling the singer, who was still in bed, that Jackson was going to leave the island.

“Someone leaked his parents’ addresses in Honk Kong and China. Can you believe that? He said he’s going back home to fix things. I tried to change his mind, but he won’t listen to me. He just got into a cab and took off.” Bambam spoke nervously as he hoped his hyung would be able to help.

“We should get JB, I don’t think I’ll be able to convince Jackson to stay. I’m not sure if I want to. If I go after him by myself I’ll probably encourage him to go ahead with his suicide mission.” An upset Jinyoung announced as he got up from the bed.

“Is JB back already? Where’s Mark hyung?!” The Thai boy looked surprised when the American suddenly came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“I’m right here.” As soon as the words were out of the elder’s mouth, Bambam ran to him and enveloped his hyung in a tight embrace. Jinyoung raised an eyebrow at his dongsaeng’s gesture. Bambam was never a hugger and the way he was giving the half-naked American a body-crushing hug was unexpected. Yet, it didn’t take long for the singer to hear the Thai boy sniff and choke back tears. Only then, the Korean realized how Bambam was distressed with that whole situation. They all were. Soon Jinyoung’s frown dissolved into a tiny smile. Bambam was not the skinship kind of guy, but when he did it, he really meant it, and right now the younger didn’t want to let go of Mark.

“Oh, bro. You are here, and you are okay! I thought you would ditch us. Thanks for coming back, man. Thanks for not abandoning us. Don’t do that again. Don’t you ever walk out on us again.” Bambam wiped his face as he rested his head on the American’s shoulder. The elder only patted his back and let him cry a little more. It was not his intention to make his dongsaengs suffer, but he knew his wayward behavior was affecting everyone.

“Bam, let go. We gotta get Jackson back, right?” Jinyoung reminded him, as he wondered if the rapper could really be stopped at that point. Bambam then released Mark and nodded to the Korean.

“I kinda overheard your conversation. Can you explain to me what exactly is going on?” Mark asked as he started getting dressed. Jinyoung had already put some clean clothes in the bed for him to wear. He didn’t wanna interrupt a possible 2jae moment upstairs just to get some clothes out of Mark’s closet, so he decided to lend his boyfriend some of his own. Bambam talked hurriedly about the events of last night, including how unsettled Jackson had become after hearing about the leak of the Wangs’ addresses that morning.

“He won’t be able to get in there even if he tries. Hong Kong airport is in chaos. Flights have been cancelled and protesters are blocking the international terminals. It’s a matter of time for the police to show up there and things might get even more out of control.” Mark pointed out, surprising the other two.

“How do you even know about all this shit?” Bambam asked quizzically.

“These protests have been going on for months. Don’t you guys watch the news?” Mark eyed the two, as he shook his head in disapproval.

“I’m gonna get JB to come along. Wait here.” Jinyoung announced as he turned to leave the room, but the elder took his boyfriend’s arms in a strong grip.

“Don’t bother, I’ll do it. I’m going to Jeju airport and I’m gonna convince Jackson to come back here, but I need to do this alone.” Mark declared, now fully clothed and with an expression of unflinching determination. Bambam just nodded at him, but the singer didn’t seem to like the idea.

“If you’re going, then I’m coming with you. I’m not leaving you alone with him ever again.” The Korean argued, suddenly displeased as he removed his lover’s hands from him impatiently.

“Are you for real? For Christ’s sake, Jin! It’s an airport! What’s the worst that could happen?” Mark said as he stared at his lover in disbelief.

“Just let him go, man! Mark is quiet and not very expressive, but we have to admit that he has a way with words when it comes to Jackson. If there’s someone who can persuade him to come back, it’s this guy here. That’s an undeniable fact. Stop being jealous already.” Bambam asserted, as he hurried the American to leave. The singer seemed to consider the Thai boy’s words for a second. And now, it was Jinyoung’s hands that grabbed the elder’s shoulder.

“Remember who’s your boyfriend. Do not leave your property behind. I’ll be waiting for you, Mark.” The singer warned him as he intentionally played with the ring around his finger. Mark gave him a tiny smile and a peck on the lips. Jinyoung sighed as his expression softened.

“You’d better.” The American squeezed the Korean’s fingers in his before ruffling Bambam’s hair. As he walked out of the room, he gave the two a last reassuring look and finally left the lodging.

“Are we still doing the intervention thing? He looks normal.” Bambam commented as he turned to Jinyoung.

“We’ll start as soon as he returns with Jackson. We still have to hear from JB about what happened yesterday at the hotel, but I’m sure he’ll agree with our idea.” The singer replied confidently, hoping that GOT7’s eldest would see their action as a proof of their affection for him.

At Jeju International Airport, a certain brown haired American with cinnamon eyes looked all around for a certain black haired Hongkonger with ebony eyes. It didn’t take long for them to meet. They would’ve found each other even if they were lost in the middle of the heaviest blizzard of their lives. Mark had sat on a bench next to the rapper without announcing his presence. Jackson had a backpack on his lap and a passport in his hand. A hoodie, a mask and a cap were supposed to hide his identity from the crowd of travelers, but Mark wasn’t one of them. Before Jackson realized Mark was sitting beside him, he had felt the scent of his presence near. Bambam had already texted him about Mark’s decision to pick him up at the airport. He had no choice but to wait. He wasn’t able to find a flight for that day. He had called his mother and she had instructed him to stay away and be safe. She assured him their family was out of danger and that he shouldn’t worry about them.

“Your father called me. I’m surprised I could understand his Mandarin. I guess I’m improving.” Mark commented. He stayed quiet for painful long minutes before he started speaking. He knew Jackson had already taken notice of him there.

“And what did he say?” Jackson asked without looking at him. They haven’t had a decent conversation since that day at Lee Tae-U’s mansion. He had so many things he wanted to say to the American, but at the same time he didn’t know how to.

“He asked me why I am not looking after his son. He wants me to keep one eye on you and make sure you are out of harm’s way. I can’t believe you still haven’t told them we broke up.” Mark commented with a snort. Jackson adjusted his cap and finally looked directly into his eyes.

“I didn’t find the right opportunity.” He said, trying to sound casual. Suddenly he realized how he missed those eyes. The American seemed well-balanced and he had a sympathetic air around him.

“It’s okay. It’s not like I have told my Mom and Dad either. Can we go back to the lodging now?” Mark asked tentatively.

“Do the others even want me there? Maybe I should take this opportunity and disappear from their lives. Go somewhere no one knows what I’ve done or who I am.” The younger confessed tiredly.

“I’d like that too. Can I come with?” Mark asked out of the blue, making the other chuckle sadly.

“You’re the last person who should be asking me this, Yi-en.” Jackson shook his head in frustration as he realized how he missed simple chats like that. The members of Got7 ignored and spurned him for so long that he almost felt thankful for having someone to talk. He didn’t expect to have a levelheaded dialogue with the elder so soon.

“You’re not the only one who made mistakes, or committed a crime, Ka-yee. I am no saint. They just don’t know about it yet. My boyfriend is clueless.” Mark sighed as he bit his lower lip nervously. The younger was so familiar with that gesture that he couldn’t help but smile a bit. A wave of nostalgia overcame him.

“If this is still about what happened at Lee’s mansion, it wasn’t your mistake. It was mine. You were in no condition to make coherent choices in that nightmare room. It was too much, no one can blame you for acting weird.” Jackson sounded like he was trying to comfort his ex.

“That’s not true. At some point, I really wanted you, and then I didn’t, and panicked. It was like an out of body experience. My spirit had left the building. Some part of me will always be trapped in that Macao brothel. I guess I’ll always feel like that about you too.” The American reflected on the ocassion, as he played with the nape hair of the younger. Those words weren’t said in anger and Mark wanted him to know that. The rapper welcomed that touch. He lately felt so unloved, so unwanted, that such a trivial caress meant a lot to him! It almost brought tears to his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Jackson couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. He let them fall copiously.

“Will you ever stop saying that? We’re both broken, Jack. Most of the time we’re not in control of our emotions. We’re rarely in charge of our reckless behavior. We shouldn’t be asking forgiveness for being who we are.” Mark said, as he felt like crying too, but no tears filled his eyes.

“I really wanna make it up for you. I know it sounds stupid and I have no idea how to do it, but I need to.” The rapper’s voice was full of emotion.

“Come back with me. I have a feeling that I’ll be needing a friend very soon and a pretty good lawyer too.” The elder gave him a disheartened smile as he ran a hand through his own hair, while he kept massaging Jackson’s nape with the other.

“Did you really assault Kwon?” the rapper asked without ceremony as he dried his tear stained face with the sleeve of his shirt. Mark looked taken aback for a second but his alarm soon dissipated. That one knew him too well.

“Yes.” The elder answered honestly. He had no reason to hide that from Jackson.

“I’m not judging you, you know. The guy provoked you the whole time. I’m on your side here, no matter what.”

“I know.” Mark replied shortly.

“What happened in that toilet?” Jackson wanted to know everything.

“Does it really matter? Nothing justifies my crime.” Mark shook his head dejectedly.

“Tell me, I’m not judging, remember?” the rapper gave him a reassuring look.

“He called me a whore, and shoved his dick in my face. He basically told me that if I sucked him off he would leave Jin alone that night. He claimed I don’t deserve Nyoungie.” The elder summarized the event leaving a shocked expression on the Hongkonger’s face.

“You didn’t blow him, did you?” Jackson looked extremely upset now.

“No. The asshole stopped me from doing it. He feared I could give him some disease if I touched him. Then he laughed at my face and made fun of me. I felt like I was back in middle school. I wanted to kill him so much!” Mark revealed as his hands trembled a bit.

“Then we are two. I can’t believe he did that! Jinyoung will obviously take your side once he hears the whole story. I feel like going to that hospital and strangling Kim Kwon myself!” Jackson was outraged.

“I think he already had enough.” Mark said bitterly. Jackson hated to see him so troubled. He was aware that it was difficult to Mark to talk about the topics like that and he just wished he could lighten up his mood a little. He felt bad for Mark. Somehow, the American always ended up becoming someone’s victim and his traumas kept piling up one after another. He wished he would be able to protect him from the world. However, he knew that wasn’t his job anymore.

“Imagine Jinyoung’s face when he learns you were willing to suck that sick fuck’s dick because you just wanted your Nyoungie all to yourself! Man, this moment will be priceless.” Jackson joked, as the other made a face at him. Mark didn’t look too amused.

“Can we go back now? I’m gonna tell the others what happened and you ought to stay by my side when I do it.” He promptly stood up and extended a hand to the younger.

“Sure! But I have to confess that I’m really relieved you didn’t touch Kim Kwon’s dick though.” Jackson emphasized with his husky voice as he took Mark’s hands in his and walked alongside him.

“Always the possessive one, aren’t you?” Mark eyed him knowingly.

“Mark you’re in a relationship. Only your boyfriend should be granted the honor of a high quality blowjob.” Jackson made an exaggerated gesture with his hands and winked at the elder who openly laughed at his antics. The rapper loved that sound, he couldn’t believe he was making Mark laugh. It was like the sun had finally started shinning and everything in the world made sense again.

“Would you be surprised to know that I had other dick in my mouth, besides yours and Jinyoung’s?” a teasing Mark eyed him attentively. He didn’t believe that he was having a healthy dialogue with Jackson about the importance of a blowjob. Months ago, he would’ve never imagined an event like that one. He rolled his eyes at Jackson when he frowned at his question.

“Oh, no. Was that Kim Tae-hyung kid? I’m gonna cut his balls off as soon as we get back to Seoul.” The rapper said dramatically with a goofy smile on his face. But deep down, curiosity and another uneasy feeling were eating him inside. It bothered him not to know who, apart from Jinyoung, could’ve shared such an intimate moment with Mark.

“That’s another story, for another day, my friend. The others must be waiting for us, let’s go.” Mark announced before he got inside the same taxi that drove him there. The American had asked the driver to wait for him and the other passenger he was going to fetch at the airport. Gladly Mark was able to accomplish that mission and take the rapper back to GOT7.

When Jackson and Mark entered the lodging, everyone was gathered in the living room. The air was tense and suddenly the American feared the worst. None of the boys seemed surprised to see the two foreigners together. Nobody doubted Mark’s influence on the rapper. And since the whole group was there, they had other pressing matters to discuss now.

“What’s going on, JB?” the elder immediately regarded the leader, whose eyes met his briefly, but looked away. He wondered if the MarkBum secret was out.

“Mark, we need to talk.” Yugyeom started, as he took the elder by the hand and guided him to a chair in the center of living room, where the whole group sat in front of him, except for Jackson. The Hongkonger knew what they were trying to do, and he just wished that so-called intervention wouldn’t ruin Mark’s day. The rapper sat on the kitchen counter and observed the situation develop smoothly. The elder sat confused on the chair they had prepared for him as he gazed at his boyfriend, who had a solemn expression etched on his face. Jinyoung was the one who stood up from the couch first and approached him.

“Guys, you know how I feel about being on the spotlight, right? Just tell me what this is.” The American almost begged with an awkward smile on his face.

“Mark, you are not well.” Jinyoung started. “We all love you very much and we don’t wanna see you destroy your life the way you are doing. We are here today to ask you to seek professional help. We understand your fears and we know that being committed to a mental facility is not a pleasant experience, but something must be done. Urgently. I beg you to listen to what each one of us have to say before you make up your own mind. We are all your friends here and we care for you dearly. I have your back, baby.” The singer looked relieved when all Mark did was nod at him.

Bambam and Yugyeom told the American how hard it was for them to watch him losing his mind the day before and how shocking it was for them to see the bruise on Jinyoung’s cheek. The youngsters promptly told Mark he was their favorite hyung and that they needed their big brother in their lives. They finished their speech begging Mark to forgive them for planning that intervention behind his back, yet, they knew it had to happen in a way or another.

Youngjae also talked a bit, something similar to what he had told Mark when the elder brought him breakfast in bed the other day. The American was too overwhelmed to say anything. He wasn’t able to look Youngjae in the eye, nor JB. The leader didn’t say much either, but he was obviously as remorseful as Mark. He just hoped that with time, the awkwardness between them would go away. Jaebeom managed to tell the elder that he admired his resilience and wisdom. And it was because Mark had both qualities that he would be able to admit that he had a problem and bravely face the future challenges ahead of him. Jackson saw for himself that the intervention was ending quite well, so he joined the group in the living room and decided to say some words too.

“I didn’t think this was a good idea. But I must admit I was wrong. Maybe you needed to hear all this, Yi-en. As for what I have to say to you, you already know. Please, let’s get some real help, and luckily avoid all the Hannibal Lecters out there this time.” The rapper said as he gave the tearing up American a thumbs up. Mark nodded and smiled at him. He felt like they could really start being friends now.

“Thank you, guys, I never felt so close to each one of you like today. I really don’t know what to say…” the American wasn’t able to conclude his sentence when someone entered by the front door applauding the scenery before him. The infamous smirk was already playing on his lips. He had a cast on one of his legs and he was wearing a cervical collar. The 7 idols looked horrified to see their sasaeng at such a delicate occasion. One of Lee’s bodyguards helped him reach the center of the living room and quickly gave him a seat beside Mark. The group seemed to hold their breaths for the whole time.

“So what did I miss? Did you guys manage to survive without me for a while?” Tae-U’s words ignited an irrational and nameless fire inside the rapper. In one minute he threw a vase at his direction and in another he was trying to violently reach for the psycho’s neck, but two bodyguards were able to stop him. The two burly man had a hard time restraining him, but soon Jackson quieted down when JB pleaded with him to get a hold of himself. Letter2u didn’t mind his explosion and he didn’t fear the death glare Jackson was giving his way either. The two men positioned themselves behind the sasaeng’s chair in case any other of the idols pulled another stunt.

“Where the hell did you come from? Do you think it’s fun to mess with the lives of a person’s family!? I swear if something happens to any relative of mine, you are a dead man!” Jackson shouted at the young man who couldn’t stop smirking.

“Wow, so savage, Wang! Family is always our biggest concern, right? I do have a lot to worry about! Look at my state. My fucking sister almost ended me! That venomous bitch doesn’t know when to stop! You guys might think I’m the devil, but you have no idea of what that fucking woman is capable of.” Letter2u exclaimed exasperatedly.

“I already like her. It’s a pity she didn’t kill you.” JB retorted as he had both his arms around Youngjae protectively. Lee smiled wickedly at that gesture. He would love to undo that lovely embrace.

“So, you guys must have lots of questions, boys, ask away!” Lee seemed elated to finally see his favorite K-pop group again.

Chapter Text

“Why did you target the Wangs?” Mark asked in a whisper. He wondered what Lee knew about everything that happened while he was away. He didn’t know if he should be relieved about the fact that no MarkBum steaming moment was shared with the rest of the group yet.

“I had to teach your ex a lesson, darling. You’re not the only one into teaching stuff.” Letter2u smiled even wider as he looked from Mark to JB. The two almost stopped breathing. In that instant, the pair was convinced that Lee had cameras in that lodging.

“That was a bit too much don’t you think? What if something happened to his parents?!” an annoyed Bambam inquired, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Your lovely rapper didn’t tell you that he put a damn P.I. to tail me? A good one, by the way. It’s a pity I had to get rid of him. He was the father of three lovely little girls. They shall mourn him as soon as his body is found.” Lee admitted, yet, he didn’t look like he cared.

“A private investigator? Why didn’t you tell us anything?” Yugyeom asked astonished as he turned to Jackson. JB shook his head in disbelief.

“It’s not like you guys were interested in anything I had to say. I had to do everything myself. We needed to start doing something about this guy, but I knew you were all afraid of trying anything. I acted on my own and I do not regret it.” Jackson said proudly as he eyed the sasaeng with contempt.

“How audacious! I can assure you that at least your excellent P.I did regret it. I mean, just before he stopped breathing.” Lee laughed out loud, while everyone in the room despised the psycho even more.

“You’re a monster.” Youngjae muttered as he couldn’t bear to hear the coldness in the man’s voice.

“Thanks for the compliment. But I’m actually pretty pissed at you guys for not inviting me for this intervention. What a shame! You now that Mark is my ultimate bias. Got7 should be thankful to me for not giving the cops the footage of a certain toilet area at Monsant café. Your eldest hyung would be in jail right now if it wasn’t for me! My men retrieved all the fucking cameras at that place before the police could get to them. Anyone can clearly see that Mark enters the toilet, Kwon follows him there and even when Mark take his leave, the actor never comes out of it.” Lee glanced at the group and anxiously waited for their reaction.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Youngjae asked with a frown. Jinyoung and Jackson seemed to tense a bit. The youngsters looked confused. A scandalized Jaebeom just gasped.

“OH, you didn’t know yet?! What an innocent pumpkin you are, Choi Youngjae. So many things you don’t know about Markie here. He’s gotta be bipolar or something!” Lee laughed out loud as Mark flinched beside him.

“Hyung, is he saying what I think he is saying?” Yugyeom looked crushed as he glanced at a tormented Mark who still remained silent.

“Good God! That’s the second crime we are not going to report then.” Youngjae sighed deeply, still conscience-stricken by the fact that Mark’s rape was never denounced.

“Markie really did a number on that stupid actor. And of course, I was the one who had to clean up his mess. I made Jinyoung’s ex keep his mouth shut. He was ready to send Mark’s ass to prison, but he changed his mind after I threatened his life at the hospital. He told me what happened in that toilet. Believe me when I tell you that my blood boiled after I heard the whole story. I could’ve killed him, but I actually like his acting style. To be honest, I hope he gets back to his feet soon, I’m looking forward to his next film.” Lee Tae-U looked delighted to see the group so stupefied.

“Stay away from Kwon, you bastard.” Jinyoung chimed in.

“Are you still defending that dirtbag? Why don’t you tell your boyfriend what his ex did to you, Mark? A great man once said, ‘our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.’ Bullies remain bullies because they know they’ll get away with their obnoxious attitude.” Lee argued as he turned to the disconcerted American who was unable to utter any coherent words.

“You are a bully! That means we should do something about you too? How long do you think we’ll be able to put up with your obnoxious attitude? Who knows, we might team up with your sister someday and find a way to definitely wipe your existence from this world!” Bambam yelled impatiently. He was mad at himself for not seeing how unwell Mark actually was. He was extremely angry at Tae-U for rubbing the truth in their faces. Lee raised an eyebrow at the Thai boy, but he kept silent, loving to see the development of that intervention.

“Jinyoung, did you know about that?” Jaebeom looked irritated. His best friend looked away, not ready to face that reality.

“Actually, I kinda guessed it.” Jackson answered the question for him, noticing how uncomfortable the singer seemed to be.

“And you kept it to yourself?” Yugyeom gave the rapper an accusing look.

“We were going to tell you guys. That’s all we’ve been discussing about all the way from Jeju airport till we got here. Mark was going to come clean with you all, he told me this himself.” Jackson argued, trying to make things easier for the elder.

“Are you his fucking friend and confident now?” JB mocked him, but the other just rolled his eyes at the leader. Jaebeom didn’t want to think that Mark was befriending the Hongkonger all over again. That simple idea made him extremely disturbed. In his point of view, the American would be too naïve to ignore what happened in their past and give Jackson a second chance.

“You sound so pissed about his silence, but you never asked why Mark did what he did! I mean, beating up the guy was not one of the best choices he’s ever made, but he had a reason for doing so! Why aren’t you curious about his motive?” Jackson inquired firmly. He had promised Mark he would support him and that was exactly what he thought he was doing. However, Jinyoung didn’t like that display of loyalty towards his boyfriend.

“Well, he’s not saying anything, but I bet you’re going to enlighten us, right? It’s unbelievable! You guys spend a few hours alone and you’re already like that! How did you manage to make him open up to you now, huh? I just hope it was just his mouth he opened this time!” Jinyoung spat out, unable to control his jealousy now. Mark had had the opportunity to tell him the truth about what happened at the café but all he got from his lover was a punch in the face. However, for some reason, his boyfriend had no problem in revealing that information to Jackson. Everyone in the room looked taken aback by Jinyoung’s comment. Except for Lee. The sasaeng looked completely entertained.

“Hyung, will you please watch your words?” Yugyeom almost pleaded as he saw the hurt plastered all over Mark’s face. The elder just sat there beside his stalker without saying a word while everyone judged him. The maknae didn’t want Mark to think that the same friends who planned that intervention, were about to treat him like a criminal.

“I’m sure Mark hyung felt more comfortable talking about this with Jack because he was afraid of how you would react once he told you. Obviously, your opinion means a lot to him, Jinyoung hyung. He didn’t want to disappoint his own boyfriend.” Youngjae tried to pour oil on troubled waters as he regarded the singer.

“You clearly don’t trust your boyfriend. You know what, hyung? If you’re so worried about which body part he opened to SSeunah you shouldn’t be with him in the first place.” Bambam commented petulantly. Jinyoung was about to walk towards the younger when Mark got up from his chair and stood in front of him.

“If you wanna hit someone, hit me! I was the one who punched you, remember?! Come on, go ahead and hit me!” Mark shouted at his boyfriend’s face. The last thing he wanted was to cause more conflicts within the group, but he wasn’t sure if he was able to control that situation anymore.

“No one is gonna hit anyone here. Don’t even think about it.” JB approached the two, ready to interfere if that argument got out of hand. He was convinced Jinyoung wouldn’t touch a hair on Mark’s head, but he was not so sure about how the American intended to confront his lover.

“Mark, tell them.” Jackson whispered to him as he approached the couple who eyed each other defiantly.

“Hyung, please, trust us.” Youngjae also encouraged the elder. Mark suddenly felt too exposed. He was aware of how upset his boyfriend already was and he didn’t know what that information could do to him. He didn’t want to tell that story again, of how he was played, humiliated and pushed around. The American glanced at Jackson briefly and shook his head in denial. The rapper took that as a cue. If Mark wasn’t brave enough to tell them what happened, he would.

“Kim Kwon brought Mark to one of those toilet cubicles and ordered Mark to suck him off.” The rapper said abruptly. The elder eyed him in disbelief.

“Jack, stop.” He demanded.

“Hyung, he attacked you? Was it self-defense then?” Yugyeom looked terrified. JB and Jinyoung were speechless.

“No, it wasn’t like that.” Mark whispered weakly as Youngjae promptly came near him and put a supportive hand on his shoulder.

“How was it then?” Bambam furrowed his eyebrows at his hyung’s resistance to talk.

“Mark…” Jackson continued, but the elder stepped forward and put a hand on his mouth.

“Kwon told me that if I gave him a blowjob he wouldn’t lure Jinyoung to his hotel room that night, so I chose to suck him off! That’s it!” the Hongkonger said bluntly.

“What?!” Jinyoung couldn’t believe his own ears as he put both hands above his head.

“Before you throw a fit, rest assured that the blowjob never happened, okay? The proposal was just your ex’s idea of a sick joke. When Kwon was done playing his role, he called him names and mocked him.” Jackson added, as he sat on the couch lazily. He felt like his job was done there. Jinyoung’s accusing look had softened and was replaced by a concerned one.

“But you were going to do it? You said you made the choice!” JB was unreasonably irked.

“After I tried to do what he suggested he started laughing at me and pushed me away.” Mark confirmed uneasily. He didn’t like the way the leader’s voice thundered in the room.

“Why do you always behave like that, Mark? Why do you let people manhandle you so easily? Why do you always have to act like a fucking…” Jaebeom didn’t finish his sentence because Mark was already screaming at him. Lee couldn’t stop giggling maniacally. He was absolutely enticed by the drama.

“A whore?! Is that what you were going to say, right?” the elder’s hard expression dared the leader to say the word. His expression was transformed. He didn’t look cornered, nor afraid. He suddenly wasn’t the same quiet and fragile Mark of minutes ago.

“You got me wrong. I was going to say ‘a victim’, not that!” JB sounded intimidated, but he stood his ground when the American came towards him with fury in his eyes. Youngjae hurried to his side, ready to appease his hyung’s bad temper. Mark saw how the younger clutched his hands to JB’s arm. He didn’t think Jaebeom deserved that kind of loyalty. Mark pursed his lips before opening his mouth again.

“Did I look like a victim to you when we shared the same bed or the bathtub at the hotel?” As soon as the elder said those words, Lee gasped in his seat. He knew Mark was losing it and he was loving every single minute of it. The room became terribly quiet. Youngjae released JB’s arm and took some steps away from him. Jaebeom closed his eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

“Mark, we talked about this.” He reminded his hyung with a soothing voice, but he knew the damage was done.

“What did you two talk about? Yi-en, what did you do?” Jackson got up from the couch again, he had un unreadable expression on his face. Jinyoung was too baffled to comment the elder’s sentence. However, as he turned his face to his best friend, his heart almost stopped. He saw an endless pool of guilt in his oblique eyes.

“I did exactly what everyone expected of me. After all I’m the whore of Got7, right?! Isn’t that right? How hypocritical are you now, Lim Jaebeom? If I touch another guy I am a dirty slut, but if I let you fuck me, then, it’s a freaking sex lesson, isn’t it? What am I to you? A kind of hooker who works for free? Or perhaps, I’m just a satyromaniac!? Aren’t you afraid I might seduce your boyfriend next? Or perhaps, lure the young ones to my bed?! You know what? I wouldn’t mind providing Jae the same lessons I gave you. It’s all fun and games when you are the one cheating, until you start to imagine the possibility of being cheated on! You might blame me for all the damned quarrels within Got7, but you, my friend, you are the one who willingly ruined your beautiful relationship with Jae.” Mark glanced at a corner of the room where Youngjae was crouched on the floor already crying his eyes out. Bambam and Yugyeom tried to console him, telling him that Mark was not fine and that he probably had made up all that story because he was mad at JB.

“Mark, that’s enough! Don’t you see what you’re doing? You’re gonna make things even worse. I’m telling you to shut up for your own good.” Jaebeom looked exasperated as he shook him by the shoulders. The American shook his head in disgust and continued his tirade.

“You aren’t innocent this time. You weren’t thinking about the band, nor your position as a leader, nor your boyfriend or the fact that I’m messed up in the head! You were only thinking with your dick! You were the one who made the first move, not me! Before it happened the first time, I warned you about the consequences, I told you about the risks, but you didn’t listen. I didn’t force you into anything, you were pretty aware of what was going on and what was at stake at that night. You are not a child! Did you think none of them would ever find out?  Behave like a grown man and take responsibility for your acts! There’s a more profound lesson to be learned here my friend. Better to be known as a sinner than a hypocrite.” Mark only stopped when he felt the weight of JB’s slap on his face. The leader regretted as soon as he did it. But Jackson was already pushing him against a wall and Jinyoung had Mark in his arms, checking his face to see if he was hurt.

“Just cool down, man! What do you think you are doing? I swear to God, if you dare to move, I’ll whoop your ass! God knows how much I want to!” the rapper exclaimed as he put a hand on the leader’s chest and glanced at where the MarkJin couple was. The two seemed to be having a private conversation in the opposite side of the room. The youngsters remained at Youngjae’s side, too perplexed to move. They had almost forgotten the presence of the sasaeng in the room.

“And you, my beloved Jin! The one who claims to love me so dearly, the one who opened a safe door for me when I had finally left a toxic and depleting relationship! You’ve shown me a glimpse of what a healthy, fulfilling love life we could have together. You told me I was special, you gave me a ring and promised that I’d never feel scared or alone again. It was a dazzling fantasy. It was breathtaking while it lasted, it really was. But it didn’t last. I was too much for you to handle. You’ve gotten insecure, you’ve gotten terrified, you’ve gotten hurt and cheated on! Look where we are now, honey? Did you know what you were getting yourself into? How little do you even know me? Would you still care for me if you found out the kind of person I really am? How I am rotten inside?” Mark whispered to Jinyoung as he touched the ring on the singer’s finger.

“You are just ill, my love. Just calm down, please.” A worried Jinyoung cried as he pulled an agitated Mark to his chest. The elder poured his heart out. He had never talked so much at once. The sentences gushed from his lips uncontrollably.

“Your ex is convinced that you’re too good to be with someone like me. Maybe that’s why I hurt him. It wasn’t because he called me names or threatened to take you away from me. It was because all he said was true! I’d gladly have sucked him off if he had taken back those words. He said I was a failure and that I was incapable of making someone happy. And that was it! Deep down, I knew he was right!” the American was beyond perturbed, and Jinyoung didn’t know how to erase the panic shadowing his eyes. He never felt so completely at loss.

“No, baby! He was wrong, you are perfect. You shouldn’t care about what he says. I’m sorry for not taking your side. I just didn’t know. How could I know?” Jinyoung told him as he tried to come to terms with the excruciating feeling of betrayal and that overhelmed him. His boyfriend had a tendency to self-destruction and sleeping with JB might’ve been one of his ways to subconsciously sabotage himself. However, if Mark was having casual sex with the leader as a form of negative coping skill, what about Jaebeom? Why did he do it? The singer could already anticipate the mourning of a long-lasting friendship. Yet, he wasn’t able to digest that realization right away because his boyfriend wouldn’t stop talking.

“I’m damaged goods, I tried to tell you that before. Why did you even try to convince me of the opposite? I kinda almost believed you, you know? But that was before you’ve noticed that maybe, somehow, the MarkSon thing was not over, or that I might be a psychopath, or now that MarkBum suddenly turned out to be a thing. You didn’t sign up for any of this. And because I fucking love you, I release you Park Jinyoung.” As soon as Mark uttered those words, he pushed a shocked Jinyoung away from him and dashed to the door, but Jackson, who observed the situation, was faster and before the elder touched the handle, the rapper grabbed him by the waist and brought him back to the room. He sat Mark on the couch and tried to reason with him.

“Mark, I’m your friend, okay? Just talk to me. You’re scaring everyone in this room. You’re having an episode, please, Yi-en, focus on my voice.” Jackson said as he entwined their hands together. Suddenly a sad smile played on Mark’s lips.

“Jackson Fucking Wang! What can I say? We understand each other, don’t we? We are like two peas in a pod! It’s very easy for anyone to fall in love with people like us, but falling out of love is a real challenge! You and I know that feeling, unfortunately. You don’t have to say it for me to know it. But what exactly did you see in me, huh? A beast you could tame? I mean, I dated possessive girls back in America, I really did like to spend time with some of them. But, wow, nothing compares to being chained to someone like you. You had the control, you had the last word, you had the solution, you had the answers, you had my thoughts, my limbs, my heart, you had me first! And I bet you still want it all back! It’s quite tempting isn’t it? I wonder if you were able to see the real me the moment we touched. Was it my insanity that got you hooked?” Mark sounded so distant, that the Hongkonger’s eyes started watering. He shook his head in frustration, anger and despair. So he just kneeled before him and let his ex talk to his heart content. Jinyoung had both his hands on his face when he sat on the carpet next to the two. JB sat beside his best friend on the carpet but remained silent while Mark kept talking to Jackson nonstop. Lee Tae-U couldn’t take his eyes from that touching scene.

“Could you see the madness beyond my good looking features, my vulnerably, my frigidity, my insecurity, my anxiety and dependency, my unreasonable fright? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming you. Things were pretty easier when we were together. I just had to let you have the upper hand. You only had power over my life because I granted it to you! I knew what you were doing, and somehow, it kept me centered for years! But then, things went too far. Your jealousy escalated, and you officially made me a whore at that brothel in Macao. So I ran from you, I ran from your ruthless dominion, your brutal kind of love and at the same time, I buried my shame and self-loathing, seeking to be purified in the arms of another. But you marked me Kayee, you’ll always have a part of me. Whatever it was taken, cannot be replaced or rescued. So you go ahead and keep it, I don’t even want it anymore. But remember, that’s all you gonna have it. You don’t have the power to take anything else from me, and because of that, I forgive you.” Mark sighed as he softly touched the top of his ex’s head.

“I get it, Mark! You want us to hate you, don’t you? You wanna fuck up this intervention, that’s your intention. But it’s not gonna happen, you hear me? You’re gonna get help and we are not giving up on you. No matter what you say or do.” Youngjae had stood up from his crouching position and approached the couch. Jaebeom eyed him miserably. Everyone looked drained and mortified by the elder’s speech.

“Choi Youngjae! My cute dongsaeng, how wrong you were about me! You asked for my forgiveness, oblivious to the fact that I was fucking your man behind your back! When Got7 was still active I tried to convince you that JB was gay, didn’t I? He didn’t get inside his best friend’s pants, but he didn’t have a problem getting into mine. Well, what more proof do you need now? I guarantee you, he’s ready to take the next step with you. He’s a fast learner, I give you that! He’s very skilled at giving, taking, and allow me to disclose a nice spoiler, he’s a swallower! You’re in good hands, kid. But you see, I was his first, and you know what people say about first times, right? They are unforgettable. Believe me, I’m a proof of that.” Mark sounded serene now, as he looked down to Jackson who was still kneeling in front of him hanging his head in a way that almost touched the American’s knee. When Mark heard Youngjae’s sniff, the American turned to face the younger again. His last blow meant to be the final nail in Got7’s coffin.

“You must be wondering what kind of hyung I am. But if you think about it, I was never a reliable big brother, was I? I am nobody’s role model. The truth is, I envied you. 2jae was finally blooming. You guys were just starting to get to know each other intimately and he was being so careful and considerate of you! While you whined about not getting what you wanted from him, the two options I had was the guy who raped me and another that was too precious to stay with a piece of shit like me! I could’ve stopped Jaebeom from cheating on you, but he couldn’t stop himself! Such a nice piece of ass sharing the same room with him! I’m surprised it didn’t happen earlier!”, Mark took a deep breath, trying to fight back a sob, “Honestly, I cannot say that I am sorry, Jae, because I am not. He’s hot and fun in bed, I enjoyed riding him and fucking him. Because I am a fucker. I fuck things up, that’s what I always do. I fucked up Jackson, I fucked up my relationship with Nyoungie, I literally fucked Got7’s leader and I fucking betrayed you. I am not supposed to be trusted, I cannot have real friendships or relationships. Friends, lovers, they’re all a hassle. You are a hassle, all of you are.” The American stated, as he glanced at Bambam and Yugyeom on the corner of the room. The two youngsters seemed too stunned to even move. Youngjae opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out of it. Jackson remained on his knees while his bangs curtained his face. Jaebeom had a hand on his mouth as if he tried to contain a sob. Jinyoung still covered his eyes with both his hands. They seemed to have lost all their sparkle. Got7 was dead.

Lee Tae-U beamed, he was completely touched by the dramatic events that developed before him. The sasaeng got up from his chair with the help of one of his bodyguards and extended a hand to Mark.

“Now you’re ready to leave all of this behind and come with me. I’m the only one who really understands how you feel right now. I’m the only one who will never judge or cast you away,” The sasaeng offered as he came closer to the couch. The American smiled at his stalker. And before he reached for the hand that letter2u offered him, he lowered his head a bit and whispered something in Jackson’s ear. The rapper’s eyes shot up to him.

Everything happened very fast. Mark violently pulled Lee to himself and since the psycho couldn’t properly keep his balance, his body fell onto the American. One of the bodyguards tried to reach for his boss but Jackson was faster and grabbed the gun on his waist, pushing the man away. He had to thank those painful years of martial arts training for that move. When the other guard pulled a gun at Jackson, Yugyeom and Bambam came from behind him and knocked the man down. JB went to help his dongsaengs and took the gun from the guard. The tables have turned. The group of idols stood strong now, working together, side by side.

Within a second, the two bodyguards had put their hands in the air while JB and Jackson aimed the guns at them. Bambam, Yugyeom, and Youngjae surrounded the men from behind. Time stood still. Jinyoung ran to the couch where Mark had letter2u in his arms. The singer had a haunted look on his face as he eyed his boyfriend and the young man leaning on his shoulder. The others didn’t notice what had happened on the couch, they were too busy shouting threats at Lee’s bodyguards.

The doors of the black van, which drove letter2u to the lodging opened again. Outside, another figure walked to their front door. The group got distracted by the sound of footsteps approaching them from behind. The two body guards moved swiftly towards the two idols aiming for the guns, but a female voice stopped them.

“Drop your weapons, the show is over. I’m only here for my brother.” The doctor announced firmly. Immediately the bodyguards stopped in their tracks.

“We drop these guns and we’ll be eaten alive. Sorry, doc. We’d rather keep them.” Jackson remarked as he kept pointing the gun to the men.

“You two, wait outside with the others. I’ll not be in need of your services now. Leave.” The woman said with determination, and the bodyguards promptly obeyed her order. Jaebeom frowned at that. He shared a look with the rapper and threw his gun on the floor. The rapper kept his.

“If you wanna take him, just go ahead. We don’t want him here either.” The leader declared as he pointed to the quiet trio beside her. The doctor nodded at him and turned to the couch where Mark held her brother in his arms and Jinyoung only stared at them.

“Tae-U, we’re going home, get up.” Dr. Lee’s sentence didn’t get a reaction from her little brother. She looked hard at an unfazed Mark and then leaned on the pair to shake the young man by his shoulders, but still, he didn’t move. His half-opened eyes gazed upward to the ceiling and his body fell limp on Mark’s lap when she released his shoulders in realization.

“He’s gone. I made sure of that. My condolences, doc. No one is ruling my life anymore but me.” Mark’s voice echoed in the room as he softly patted the deceased’s head on his lap.

Chapter Text

“Very well, I guess this was bound to happen. Just go now, you can all leave. I’ll take care of everything, including his body. Forget you’ve even been here.” Dr. Lee said coldly as she stared down at Mark on the couch. Jinyoung pulled Tae-U away from Mark and helped the elder to get up.

“Are you gonna let us go just like this? I’ve just managed to twist that freakin’ cervical collar, break your brother’s neck and you’re not even a bit bored by it? ” Mark asked in an annoyed tone as he let himself being dragged away from the couch by the singer. The other members weren’t sure if they should celebrate or get ready for another fight either.

“Mark, you heard the woman, let’s get out of this damn island.” Jackson advised quickly, as he threw the gun he still had in his hands on the floor. However, the American still eyed the woman with disgust.

“Would you rather if I made a scene? Would you rather if I told you that now you had indeed brought the wrath of the Lee family upon yourself? Don’t worry, young man, he brought this upon himself. His days were numbered anyway.” Dr. Lee commented calmly as Jinyoung and Mark moved to the other side of the room where the other members of the group stood stupefied.

“What are you gonna do about him? What about our fingerprints on the guns? Who’s gonna take the fall for all this mess?” Jaebeom finally spoke, uncertain of their supposed freedom.

“What happens to my brother’s corpse is my business only. I’ll handle the police, as far as I know, none of you were ever here. Got7 won’t have anything to do with this. I give you my word.” The woman said as she sat on the couch and closed Tae-U’s eyes. The American couldn’t believe his own ears. He had just commited another crime and he was going to remain unpunished. He couldn’t bear that. He felt like he deserved to be punished, after all, he was a murderer. So he swiftly picked up the gun Jackson had thrown on the floor and pointed to the composed doctor before them.

“Mark hyung, what are you doing? Put it down, let’s just go home, please.” Yugyeom said from behind him. Mark shook his head energetically. Bambam also managed to say something to calm him down, but he didn’t listen.

“Don’t you all see what’s happening here? She’s playing us! Remember what her brother said? She’s worse than him! She was the one who tried to ran me over with a car. All the therapy sessions I had with this woman messed with my mind even further. She brought Tae-U here with a broken leg and a neck injury! Why would she do that?! Why was she waiting in that van for so long? Tell us the truth!” Mark shouted at the doctor, who wouldn’t take her eyes of the body next to her. She paid him no heed.

“Mark, baby, drop this gun now. Unless, you wanna shoot me.” Jinyoung said as he positioned himself in front of the couch, putting himself between the doctor and the gun in his lover’s hand. Mark’s determination seemed to waver. His whole arm trembled, and within a second he lowered the weapon and JB tried to take it away from him. Nevertheless, the American was faster and pointed the gun to his own head as he took a couple of steps away from the leader. The doctor finally turned her eyes to the scene before her.

“I’d rather die right now than go through another letter2u nightmare again.” Mark announced darkly.

“Hyung, don’t do anything stupid, here. Please, don’t.” Youngjae wailed as he gazed at his hyung’s panicked expression in horror. Jinyoung and Jackson tried to approach the elder but he only stepped further away from them. The doctor’s collected voice filled the room again.

“Don’t doubt his resolution. He will shoot if you take another step. I know he will. That’s all he wanted for a long time.” She got up from the couch and silence fell again. No one dared to move.

“If you are going to use any of your psychological tricks here, you’d better hurry then.” Jackson managed to say in a frightened voice. The woman gave an emotionless smile and walked to the American.

“Mark Tuan Yi-en, you robbed my brother of his last breath. And as you can tell, this was my job as his wretched sister and sworn enemy. Your reckless act cannot be overlooked this time. You shall not take the nearest exit here, I won’t allow it. You will walk out that door and go back to your life. The one you had before Lee Tae-U showed up in your path. Your recovery won’t be easy, nor permanent or speedy. Yet, you will get better at some point. And one day, when you put all of this horror behind you and finally build a joyful and satisfactory happiness for yourself, we’ll meet again. I’ll personally come find you and take your most precious thing away from you. You will feel at loss, just as I feel now, lifeless. Your death shall be determined by me, then. You must hand me this gun. It has no use for you right now.” The doctor extended a hand in his direction and unexpectedly, the American slowly lowered the weapon and put it in her hand. The others gasped in relief and immediately and ran to Mark’s side. They didn’t expect the elder to obey her, but they were thankful that she managed to get inside his head and make up his mind for him.

That same morning Got7 packed their baggage and decided to leave Jeju without looking back. Jinyoung and Yugyeom kept an eye on the American and helped him to pack his stuff, but they didn’t notice when Mark went to the bathroom, opened its cabinet, got a bottle of analgesics and swallowed all its content down his throat. He wasn’t planning to kill himself, but Dr. Lee’s words perturbed him no end and he didn’t want to have a panic attack in the during their flight to Seoul. They all had to leave that place as soon as possible, and in a way or another, they did.

 

2 years later…

It was a sunny Sunday morning in LA. It was already 10 AM and he was still in bed. He did not feel like getting up yet. Beside him, a stunning dark haired Korean man slept soundly and peacefully under his blankets. Mark loved everything about that man. That one was his life partner, his other half, his soulmate and the husband he chose to spend the rest of his life with. He had left some troubled chapters of his life behind and he knew he wouldn’t have been able to do it without Park Jinyoung by his side.

After six long months spent in different mental facilities, living on antidepressants, antipsychotics, psychotherapy and anti-anxiety medications, Mark was able to overcome a deep state of psychotic depression he went through two years ago. The events, which developed in Jeju Island while he was still part of GOT7, shattered his mental stability for several reasons. He had killed a man with his own hands, he had battered another in a café and cheated on his beloved boyfriend with his best friend and bandmate. However, even before the most successful K-pop group in the globe had landed on the island, Mark already felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. A blackmailing and obsessive sasaeng threatened the integrity and career of his group, a young man had been thrown in front of a train right before his eyes, his ex-boyfriend had been poisoned during a fanmeeting, he was almost ran over by a car, and he was raped at a brothel in Macao.

The American-Taiwanese former rapper of GOT7 had a lot on his plate and even JYP couldn’t help but let Mark go back home when he overdosed on the plane back to Seoul, and a second time right after he had left the hospital. His family brought him back to America to properly look after him and Jinyoung would travel to LA whenever he could to visit him at the mental facility he was committed. The singer had promised Mark that as soon as he got better they would get married. But the first months weren’t easy. The former idol couldn’t easily get rid of the ghosts of his past, he’d hallucinate for hours. Wherever he looked, letter2u was there, peeking at him, stalking him, smirking and calling his name. Mark was misdiagnosed several times and it took his doctors a while to come up with the right combination of medicaments for him. Most of the time, Mark had to lie during his therapy sessions and that fact kept his state from improving faster. He would talk about his rape, but he would insist that he didn’t have a chance to see the face of his rapist. He would talk about the hacker kid killed by a train, but he would never admit that he knew his murderer, he would talk about the guilt he felt for breaking the neck of his sasaeng, but most of the time, he would claim that that killing only happened in his dreams. He would talk about hitting and cheating on his lover, but he would never reveal his identity.

During his stay, Mark connected with people just as broken as him and while he attended the constant group therapy sessions he started to realize he wasn’t the only one scarred in that place. When he was allowed to have visitors, Bambam, Yugyeom and Youngjae would check on him once a month. As for Jinyoung, whenever he had a holiday or a couple of days off, he would book his flight to North America. Jaebeom and Jackson never came to see Mark while he was going through treatment.

After 3 months in a clinic Mark was allowed to go back home, but he relapsed and was forced to spend another 3 months in another clinic. Luckily, his family was against electroconvulsive therapy and they were clever enough to seek another therapy alternative, which gladly, the American finally seemed to be responding. With time, the alarming symptoms were lessening. His depressed mood, the excessive episodes of anger, anxiety, the hallucinations, the suicidal thoughts were abandoning him. And as soon as he was discharged, he started a spiritual pilgrimage. He had been in PTSD healing and trauma retreats all over the world. In Thailand he spent some time at The Dawn and New Paradigm. While he was in the country, he even spent a week at Bambam’s house. The Thai ‘young and rich’ man was now the owner of a TV channel in Thailand. He was also a director and a producer of videoclips. He still worked for JYP as a solo rapper, but he also worked with several international bands around the world, making and producing award-winning music videos. Mark also took a two-week trip to a spiritual retreat in India with Yugyeom. The younger had never been to the country and Mark invited him to come with him when he was on vacation. The Kim brothers were able to bond even more during the trip and even got matching tattoos on their forearms to mark the occasion. Since they had reaffirmed the genuine friendship they were able to keep even living in different countries, their tattoos simply said, “Truth”.  The maknae still worked for JYP as a renowned choreographer and also a singer in the unit JUS2 he had started with JB while Got7 was still active. The dongsaeng informed Mark that the former leader of their group also had a brilliant solo career, as a singer, dancer and composer. The elder wasn’t surprised to hear that as much as he wasn’t surprised to hear that Jackson had become one of the most prominent MCs in Korea and that his Team Wang basically ruled the entertainment industry in China. Jinyoung now was a full time actor in Korea. He’d sing occasionally, do some collaboration with other musicians, but he wouldn’t perform on a stage again without Mark, so he focused on dramas and films. It was difficult to maintain the long-distance relationship with the American, but he wouldn’t mind doing that for the rest of his life if it meant to be with Mark. He couldn’t describe the feeling that would take over him whenever he wrapped up a drama in Korea and hurriedly booked a flight to The U.S just return to his lover’s arms. While Jinyoung was busy with work in Korea, Mark kept reconnecting with his family, himself and his dongsaengs. He once took Youngjae to Spain so they could walk the Camino de Santiago together. He had read somewhere that such a pilgrimage walk could change a person’s point of view on life once it was completed. And he wanted to do that alone with Jae.  Mark had always some difficulty to express his feelings and he wanted his dongsaeng to know how grateful he was to him for have forgiven his affair with JB. In the four countries Mark went on adventures with his dongsaengs, he was recognized by fans and mercilessly photographed. A bit shy and polite as always, he would nod and smile at whoever asked him for an autograph. Soon, he became a hot topic again in Korean news and some IGOT7’s social media. Everyone anticipated a possible comeback of the most successful kpop boyband of the world. The Korean members of the group were often questioned about it, but they wouldn’t have an answer for that, they only asked fans and paparazzi not to invade Mark’s privacy and respect his space.

Ahgases all over the world still monitored each step their favorite idols would take. Some die-hard fans still believed that the group was only on a break because Mark was still recovering from the two overdoses he had in Korea. The occurrence was all over the news when it happened and no one discarded the possibility of attempted murder. Just as Jackson had been poisoned once by their infamous sasaeng letter2u, many netizens came up with the theory that Mark had flown to America in order to escape from his stalker. If the public still idolized the 7 young men, the band still had a chance of returning to their loyal fanbase and JYP knew that. He purposely never announced the end of the group officially. Mark’s contract with JYP was still on hold. The CEO had discussed with his parents that once the idol got better he should be the one to decide to leave the company or not. Therefore, he still waited patiently.

As Mark stared lovingly at Jinyoung in bed, he remembered the events of last night. Jinyoung had returned from Seoul and he looked exhausted, jet legged, yet, surprisingly excited. In two days, it would be Chuseok and he had finally managed to convince his parents to let Mark join them in the celebration of that traditional Korean holiday. Several months ago, the Parks didn’t react well when their son informed them that he had married Mark in America as soon as the elder was discharged from the second clinic he was committed. His mother and father didn’t like the idea of their son marrying a foreign man, in a foreign country. The fact that his husband had problems with drugs in the past and recurring mental issues didn’t help either. However, Jinyoung still tried to convince them that Mark was the man of his life. The married couple bought a place not far from the house Mark’s parents owned in LA and whenever Jinyoung was overseas for work, he knew his husband wouldn’t be completely alone. The American was aware of how difficult it was for the former singer to manage his private and professional life at the same time, and he knew if they just moved back to Seoul, things would be easier for his husband, but Mark wasn’t sure if he was ready to go back to Korea yet.

“Enjoying the view? What are you thinking about?” Jinyoung eyes didn’t open, but he wanted his husband to know that he was already awake.

“Just wondering how lucky I am to have such a good-looking actor in my bed.” Mark smiled back giving him a peck on the lips. The Korean’s eyes fluttered open as he beamed at his husband.

“I can read your thoughts, though. You’re still wondering if you should accept my parents’ invitation or not.” Jinyoung said knowingly. He saw indecision plastered all over his husband’s face and the way he bit his lower lip easily gave him away.

“They hate me, Jin. Your mother thinks I took you away from your own family, turned you into a faggot, chained you to me in a union that won’t even have any value in South Korea, and because of that she’ll never have grandchildren.” Mark shook his head in frustration. Jinyoung rolled his eyes at him.

“Mark, that was a long time ago. My mother loved you before when you were just a member of Got7, she’ll learn to love you again as her son-in-law. She knows we cannot have a proper mother and son relationship without you in the picture. I told her that. You are a part of me now. She has no option but to accept us.” Jinyoung said firmly as he brought Mark’s hands to his lips and gave each one of his fingers a kiss. When his lips wandered to the wedding band on the elder’s ring finger, his teeth bit the skin around it playfully.

“We shouldn’t have married without their consent. We shouldn’t have had the wedding in secret. Your father was very hurt by that. We didn’t even invite them, only my friends and family were here. I understand how they feel.” Mark looked away trying to come up with a better excuse to avoid that trip to Korea. It had been two years of therapy, meditation, PTSD and anger management programs, yoga and medication. He worked hard to be sane again and he wasn’t sure if he could keep improving once he returned to Asia.

“Do you regret marrying me?” Jinyoung softly turned his chin to him and looked firmly into his eyes.

“Never.” Mark answered promptly. The younger’s eyes shone with satisfaction as he leaned onto his husband and brought their lips together for a deep kiss. They were already naked under the sheets and all Jinyoung had to do to press their skin together was to climb on top of the elder.

“Last night I enjoyed riding my husband. Is there a chance I can be inside him now?” the Korean whispered lustily in the elder’s ear. The way Jinyoung uttered those words in perfect English next to his neck sent goosebumps all over his body.

“There’s always a chance.” Mark smiled a bit shyly before Jinyoung captured his mouth again in a hungry kiss. Mark’s legs automatically opened, allowing his husband to nestle himself between them. His dick was already aching to be touched and when he felt Jinyoung’s hands envelop around it, he couldn’t help but moan loudly.

“I love you, husband.” Jinyoung managed to say while he ravished his man’s lips and masturbated the elder. The Korean loved to say that word. He would never get tired of it. Every time he called Mark ‘husband’ he reassured himself again and again that their union was not a dream. After all the thunderstorms they had to go through in their lives, MarkJin fortunately prevailed.

“I love you too, hubby.” Mark sexily whispered back to him as he circled his arms around the younger’s back digging his nails into his skin. Jinyoung groaned while he showered Mark’s collarbone with kisses and licks. His mouth travelled to his chest, nipples, the birthday tattoo on his side and his tempting belly button. The American’s wandering hands squeezed and pinched Jinyoung’s butt and played with his balls. His husband was deliciously erect but he wouldn’t touch his hard on with his hands, he wanted that gorgeous penis inside his mouth.

“Do you want to 69?” Jinyoung suggested between pants, feeling adventurous. Mark eagerly nodded in agreement. The couple had tried that position before, as matter of fact, since they got married, they’ve been exploring all kind of positions.

“Hell yeah.” Mark uttered as he waited for his husband to change his angle above him and bring his crotch to his face. As soon as Jinyoung descended his hot mouth onto Mark’s penis, the elder bucked his hips to him and captured his husband’s erection with his lips. They pleasured each other in the same frenetic rhythm. The sound of their saliva in contact with each other’s flesh, the thrusting, biting and rubbing followed by moans filled their room.  Mark sucked the younger’s dick with the same hunger that his husband sucked his. However, no matter how hard Mark tried to prolong that foreplay and wait for his husband so they both could come at the same time, he was unable to contain the sensations piling up in his groin and genitals. He couldn’t help himself but ejaculate inside the younger’s wet cavern. Jinyoung would always win that battle of who eould make the other cum first. The American reached his climax too early and before he could apologize to his husband, the other changed his position again and captured his mouth passionately. While the elder still recovered from the mind-blowing orgasm he just had, Jinyoung made him taste the vestige of his own semen through the needy kiss they shared.

“I love how you easily come undone underneath your hubby.” Jinyoung whispered against his cheek just before showering his face and neck with love bites. Mark was still trying to control his breathing when his husband’s head approached his happy trail and massaged his inner thigh. He kneeled between the elder’s legs, brought Mark’s hips closer to his knees, lifted one of the elder’s legs above his shoulder and started rimming him. The contact of Jinyoung’s tongue in the entrance of his anus instilled new sensations inside of him. He started moaning when the Korean started stimulating him again with a handjob. Jinyoung sucked his anus and shoved his famished tongue deep inside Mark’s hole, like a pointy little dagger. They stayed like that for a while till Mark started writhing under him again.

“Jin, that’s enough. Just put it in me before I lose it again.” Mark begged, drunk on the arousal his husband skillfully provided him.

“What, darling? I didn’t quite catch that.” Jinyoung teased as he pushed his tongue even further his entrance. His husband whined and held Jinyoung’s head up.

“Fuck me senseless, Nyoungie. Thrust your hard dick inside me now, hubby.” Mark said sensually as he himself put two fingers inside his mouth wetting them slowly and driving them to his own hole. Jinyoung’s vision blurred. His erection got even harder as he observed the erotic gestures of his husband. The American knew exactly how to make his husband lust for him, how to drive him to the edge.

“Shit, Markie. You’re so hot, babe.” Jinyoung looked under the bed, found the bottle of lube that had been used the night before and smeared its content on his hand, around his penis and on the elder’s entrance. Mark licked his lips, and touched himself while he observed the younger’s wet fingers slowly push inside his hole and scissor around him. The Korean only finger-fucked his man for a while. No matter how aroused his husband was, he would always be careful with him. He would never penetrate Mark without fully preparing him. He would take his time, even when the American impatiently insisted that it wasn’t necessary. Sometimes Mark would get too horny in bed and beg the Korean to thrust inside him even without lube, but Jinyoung never succumbed to that temptation. He loved Mark and he had to keep in mind that he should love him even more whenever the American forgot to love himself.

“Make love to me, Jinyoungie.” Mark whispered as his husband leaned on him for another kiss. As the younger tenderly pushed his tongue inside his husband’s mouth, he also gently inserted his erected penis inside his warm anus. Everything was done painfully slow and the elder appreciated every second of it. When Jinyoung had finally fully penetrated him, losing himself in the tightness and warmth that wrapped around him, Mark already felt like he was closer to another orgasm. Jinyoung knew all his weak spots by now, inside and out. He knew how to ignite every single fiber of his body, how to make him pass out with pleasure. As a married couple, they had enough time alone to study each other, to improve their lovemaking, bring their intimacy to another level.

As his husband moved in and out of him nonstop, Mark also moved his hips and spread his legs wider to meet his beloved’s deep thrusts. They were synchronized, their bodies were one, their moans and groans resonated each other’s. That carnal and emotional connection between them refused to end, they struggled to delay that explosive moment of pure delight because they wanted to remain entwined together, forever, rooted in each other’s embrace. But eventually, that familiar wave of nameless pleasure overtook them, as their bodies trembled, weakened and discharged the proof of their passion in and upon each other. The hushed ‘I love yous’ uttered within those walls consummated the devotion they nurtured for each other. They never had just sex, yet, they always made love.

When Jinyoung’s body tumbled on Mark’s right after he ejaculated inside the elder, the panting Korean remained between his legs, doing his best to keep his penis inside his husband a little longer. He loved to feel his seed sweeping out of his beloved’s hole. The American enjoyed the afterglow moment just as much as him. Mark slowly closed his eyes, kissed the top of his head and just to bring their bodies impossibly closer he wrapped his arms around his spent husband and smelled his ebony hair.

“When do we leave to Korea?” the question slowly slipped out of the elder’s mouth. Jinyoung lifted his head a bit just to look at him.

“Are we really going?” he looked surprised to hear that.

“With you by my side I can go anywhere, everywhere, as long as you are there.” Mark rhymed, in a rapping tone of voice. At that moment, he knew he would be able to face whatever obstacle fate presented them.

“Can’t wait to see the kids’ faces when they see you there. None of them think you will ever dare to step foot in South Korea again. Youngjae claims you must be afraid of what doctor Lee told you in Jeju.” Jinyoung said as he broke their embrace and rolled to the side just to study his husband’s features more closely.

“Maybe I am.” Mark said honestly. He wondered if letter2u’s sister didn’t think he was happy enough now. If she really planned to take his most precious thing away from him, that would probably be a person, and without a doubt, it would be the man lying beside him at that moment. The American couldn’t think of anything or anyone else.

“Hey, you know why she said those things. She intended to keep you from hurting yourself. We talked about this dozens of times. If she really wanted to do us harm she would have already done it. Now Korea is just as safe as America is for you. Tae-U is gone, baby. We are all free from him.” Jinyoung reassured his husband with a kiss on his cheek. The younger’s words always made him feel safe.

“I’m starting to think you might be right.” Mark sighed, somewhat relieved. He needed that kind of assurance. It had already been two years and no one dared to steal Jinyoung from him. Perhaps he should stop worrying about the doctor. She had never liked Tae-U anyway, so Mark did her a favor. It should be okay to fearlessly rule his own destiny now, right? For the first time in a long time, Mark felt confident and ready to turn the page to the next chapter of his life. After all, re-reading the worst ones would never allow him to move on. Jinyoung was there by his side and he knew that with his help, they could write a beautiful story together. Their book of love would never end, neither would their desire to never be apart again.

“Let’s start packing then.” Jinyoung gave him his best eye smile and got up from the bed excitedly.

“Let’s do this.” Mark returned his gorgeous smile as he realized he couldn’t be happier than that.

Chapter Text

The trip to Korea was tiring, but Mark could notice how his husband’s enthusiasm refused to decline as soon as they set foot on Incheon International Airport. There was a certain familiarity in the air of that country which made him feel quite sentimental. The American had spent more than eight years of his life there and even though he had to face many challenges during his kpop idol days, that place still held a special place in his heart. The people, the language, the culture, everything looked the same. And being there once again with Jinyoung, now as his husband, made his heart beat faster with anticipation. He didn’t know how his in-laws would welcome them, he just hoped that they would accept him or at least tolerate the fact that their marriage was just a proof of how in love and committed to each other they were. Jinyoung walked by his side, giving all his attention to him, but now and then he would steal a glance at their surroundings, afraid that some fan could recognize the two. If an ahgase jumped on Mark, he knew he would have to discreetly take care of the situation, after all he didn’t know if his husband was ready to deal with a loyal fan or a random sasaeng so soon. Luckily, the masks and sunglasses they wore were enough to keep their identity hidden. They didn’t have a problem finding a taxi either, even though the airport was extremely packed due to the upcoming holiday. As soon as they reached Jinyoung’s apartment, the Korean pushed his husband against the closed door and gave him a breathtaking kiss.

“Wow, I wanted to do this as soon as we landed.” The younger whined, abandoning the elder’s lips. He nuzzled his husband’s neck,