Concrete beating up and down
In a dream, fell awake, hazy days were never ending
Templates follow all around
Same old days, but we just didn't know
High tempo and rhythm flies
Not enough, try again, when'll tragedy end?
Wouldn't say that we're done just yet
So don't cry on the floor anymore
Felix awoke with a start. His hands were trembling. He felt hazy. His dream had felt important, but he couldn’t remember it for the life of him. Sighing, he reasoned that dreams couldn’t hold such a meaning. Yet, the colour red lingered in his mind. It flowed, accompanied by moonlight black. A ribbon or maybe a scarf. He couldn’t tell. He shook his head, sliding his legs off the bed.
“Bad dream again?” A voice called out and he looked up to see his computer screen. It was too bright, way too bright.
He ignored the question, knowing she knew the answer by now. “What the fuck? Did you turn the brightness up?”
She grinned. “Master, how kind of you to notice! I thought that it would help wake you up!”
“More like give me a pounding headache.” He muttered to himself, before squinting at her. “Turn it down.”
“Aye aye, Captain!” She mock saluted, as the brightness returned to normal. He relaxed slightly as he found it instantly easier to look at her. Her hair was similar to that of his dream, but his instinct told him it wasn’t her he was dreaming about. He didn’t dare to voice his thoughts either, suspecting that she would tease him if he did so.
Ladybug, as she called herself, had appeared in his life about a year ago. He had accidentally opened an email and she had instantly infiltrated all his tech like a virus. However, he imagined that a virus would be less annoying. She had moments where she would be pleasant like when they played video games together, on the rare occasion she didn’t cheat, or when she’d compliment a design he made, but most of the time, she was a pest. She would wake him up at random times in the night, suddenly take control of his computer interrupting his work, and more. He had no idea where she’d originally originated from, but he couldn’t get rid of her. He’d tried everything, even getting his father to replace the broadband at one point, but she’d simply came back. And each time she’d come back she’d been pissed off. He erased all his data on a game once. He spent a month just trying to get back up to the point he’d been at.
Initially, he had found the girl attractive, but there was only so far looks could take her. She had her hair tied in two pigtails and she wore a red mask with black spots. It was complete with a red bodysuit with black spots. She almost looked like a superhero, but with how she terrorised him, she was more like a supervillain.
“So, what will you be doing today?” Ladybug cut him out of his thoughts. “Will you be working on that design or playing a game? Oh, we could have a mario kart match! Or maybe you’ll got outside? You know get some sunlight. You could use some vitamin D.”
Felix laughed. “You know that’s not gonna happen.” He slipped onto his chair, rolling over to the computer. He hadn’t left his house in two years. He only left his room to eat dinner and shower. His father couldn’t complain about his behaviour either as he spent the majority of his time locked up in his office. He’s pretty sure it’s been over a month since they last saw each other. The only person he really sees is Nathalie. He doesn’t even really see his younger siblings. Rose might have been in recently to ensure he was still alive, but he couldn’t be sure. The three of them had moved out last year. He didn’t know where. It wasn’t like he’d be visiting them.
It’s not like he’d leave the house. After all, there was nothing out there for him.
C'mon, batten down your eyes
Don't know where to turn?
Without you, there's nowhere to go
And I dream too big to live a lie so why
should I move forward?
Marinette didn’t know where else to go. The world was so wide, yet it was the first time she was seeing it in this way. It felt strange when she first woke up to see everything through a screen, relying on cameras to see outside. Initially, she’d wanted to find Adrien. She didn’t know what she’d do when she found him, but she longed to see his grin as he recited a terrible joke. However, despite having the entire internet at her disposal, she couldn’t find him. It stressed her to no end because the last she’d seen of him, he’d collapsed. She had no way of finding out whether he was alive. It was like he’d just disappeared. There was no hospital records and no death records. He’d simply disappeared. Gone without a trace.
Her next option was her cousin, Bridgette. They’d grown close in recent months and she was the last person she’d seen before she collapsed and became whatever she was now, so maybe she knew something. It was an ideal option as from there Bridgette would be able to let her parents know she was ok. However, this idea fell through too. Bridgette had committed suicide. Apparently, it was the same day Marinette had collapsed. It shocked her to find out. She had seen her only a few minutes beforehand and to find out that Bridgette had been heading towards her death hurt. She could have saved her. They could have saved each other.
Instead, Marinette was stuck in this form. Trapped in technology. A few months ago, this would have been a dream, but right now, she’d give anything to be back with her friends. Friends. That was a strange word. The Marinette from a few months ago hated the idea of having to socialise, but now, she’d give anything to hear a pun from Adrien or to listen to Bridgette gush over Felix.
That’s when it hit her. Felix. Sure, she didn’t particularly get on with Felix. Who did, to be honest? But, he was all she had currently. If Felix was alive, he’d definitely be traceable. After all, the boy practically lived on his computer. It annoyed her to no end when she had found out. While she’d been there struggling to get a D, he’d been easily achieving A+’s. However now, it was her saving grace. She found him, hiding herself in an email and praying that he was stupid enough to open it.
Sure enough, he did and she exploded into life. Yet, when she was the bags under his eyes and his pale skin, she wasn’t so sure she’d made the right choice. It seemed like he needed more help than she did at the moment.
“Who are you?” His voice was hoarse, almost as if he’d been crying. It was only strengthened by the sight of the around around his eyes.
She made a quick decision. “I’m Ladybug! You’re personal AI!”
“Thanks. I don’t want one.” He immediately responded. “Now begone.” He attempted to drag her into the bin.
“No can do, mister!” She tutted. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me!”
C'mon, throw up both your hands
Zeros all around
We didn't solve a thing but gather again
Ready to go...
Hey, are you still there...caught in the haze?
Juleka knew it was coming again. She knew that they were heading towards a ‘bad end’. She longed to turn them away from it, reset the timeline while it was still early, but there was a part of her that prayed this was finally the ‘good end’. She didn’t want to see her friends hurt anymore, but she didn’t want to continue on alone. She didn’t want to let him win, so for now she’d grin and bear. She’d wait for her to show up again.
For now, she continued to sit in her house, far away from humanity. Her blindfold remained intact as she fretted about whether this might be the time where she ends up hurting Rose. The very thought is nauseating, but it lingers nonetheless. Shaking her head, she tried to refocus. She picked up her book and read it. She’d long since memorised the words, but she was a sucker for a happy ending. She hoped this time she’d be able to achieve it in reality as well.
She longed for the ‘good end’.
I'm screaming 'til you hear me say
I'm fighting every single day
Grab a hand so warm you said to take
I can't forget it anyway
Nino hated this day. August 14th. He felt trapped. A time loop he was unable to leave. She would die again today, no matter how he tried to save her. He’d take her towards the subway today. Maybe, they’d successfully be able to board a train today and stay safe. It was a pointless ambition. She’d died every previous August 14th. It wasn’t like this one would be any different. He could still remember every time. He could still hear every scream. The haze would mock him. It would laugh at him as it said “what you see is exactly what you’re gonna get” and like every other time, he wouldn’t understand it. Nino knew Alya was unaware of the time loop. Every time, he pulled her along with her, she would question him, demanding answers. He didn’t have time to answer her. He had to keep moving if he hoped to save her.
He just wanted to keep the warmth in her hands.
My heart's a beat that never fades
You'll never cry alone the same
All the "lonely days" that you dyed from gray
Because it's you, I’ll put those memories on hold
Lila wouldn’t tell them. She couldn’t. She doubted they would believe her by this point. She’d hid behind so many lies by this point, even she wasn’t sure what the truth was. Even her tears didn’t feel real, but it didn’t matter. The others would never see behind the masked. She would keep playing her role until the very last curtain call, even though it was agonising to do so. It was her role to play though and she was nothing if not persistent. She’d persist even after everyone knew it was all a lie. It was the only way she knew how to live and it was far too late to take it all back by this point.
No, she would never be anything but a liar. Completely alone.
Encore ringing loud and proud,
We go round and around through the streets of broken pavement
Hold hands as we run along - I’ll make sure that I never let go.
Break out, standing tall and strong
Never rest, never stop, cause our cue will soon come!
It’s the day we’ve been waiting for
So find all that you’ve wanted to say!
Alya wasn’t dumb. She knew what Nino was doing, but it would only hurt him more if he knew that she could remember every death. Yet she knew there was no point trying to stop him, so she would allow him to keep holding her hand. She ran behind him, never by his side, and allowed death to take her when it came. Every time it came.
Every August 14th, she would allow it to occur. She would let him drag her down each street, without rest. One day, she hoped he would simply sit and enjoy her company. She prayed he’d be honest and say the words he wants to say to her. She wants to hear them from his mouth. She already knows them, but just once, she wants to hear them from his lips.
But for now, she’ll keep dying for him.
C’mon, give me both your hands,
When we meet, I’m certain
Our meeting was in fate's plan
Just like shadow, filled with pain
The world looks nearly the same
“Frustrations” fill the air, “weakness” echos behind
Worthlessness can sum up both in one line
Ready to fly beyond these grey skies
Rose ran through the forest, desperate to get away from the noise. They wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t silence them. The thoughts were overwhelming. She could feel herself drowning, the words piercing into her. She wanted them to stop. They wouldn’t end though. They wouldn’t leave her until she was dead.
In her distressed state, she didn’t realise she’d come upon a house. It was near silent now. The only sound, the occasional disturbed noise of a bird. A warning. She frowned. The house appeared normal, if only being strangely far from civilisation. As she got closer, she could hear soft humming. She couldn’t hear anything beyond that though. Whoever was inside that house, she was unable to hear their thoughts. It was almost relieving. She’d heard thoughts from everyone back home by now, even her siblings. It was painful. Thoughts shouldn’t be heard. They were private and unfiltered. It stressed her to hear the truth behind Lila’s lies or to hear how anxious Nathaniel was or how depressed Felix was. The worst bit was that her powers failed to alert her to how much pain Bridgette was in until it was too late.
She hoped the person beyond this door would give her the hope she so desperately needed.
I’m reaching for only today
My heart is hurting day by day
Even though it seems like hope is lost,
I’ll never lose the warmth of heart
Nathaniel was invisible. It was better that way he told himself. Being around others only stressed him out. They were far too unpredictable and they drained him far too much. Even being around Lila and Rose was too much sometimes. Lila’s loud nature kept him on edge and he was always cautious of his thoughts around Rose. He was at least relieved to know he didn’t have to worry about Felix. Although that was a problem in itself. Nathaniel at least attempted to socialise, but Felix kept himself locked in his room. He was sure he’d heard Felix talking to himself before and it concerned him to no end. He knew Felix wouldn’t admit how much he missed Bridgette and Adrien. He preferred to hide behind the door, spending days on end locked in his room.
He missed Adrien and Bridgette too, but he knew there was more to August 14th than meets the eye. There was something suspicious about their disappearances, especially considering that Marinette had also gone missing at the same time. The haze was mocking him, but he couldn’t work it out yet. He wasn’t sure how aware the other two were of it. Lila could know more than him, but he couldn’t trust her to tell the truth, and he didn’t know how much of his thoughts Rose had heard. However, he expected if Rose had heard such thoughts, she would have asked him about it by now.
For now though, he would cling to this small sliver of hope that one of them had made it out ok for the heat was a scary place.
The streets are filled with endless haze
The words are gone, all the same
But my feelings stay, the same as always
It seems like I’m the only thing that’s really changed
Chloe didn’t know when everyone had started paying attention to her, but she used it to her advantage. She would use their adoration to convince them to fulfill her wishes. While there were a lot of benefits to it, it hurt sometimes. She couldn’t go outside without someone noticing her and one person noticing her would lead to a whole crowd. The amount of times she’d had to call someone to rescue her was embarrassing. She couldn’t even do something as simple as walk to school without being swarmed.
While she wanted to blame everyone else for suddenly becoming so interested in her, she knew in herself that it was she who had changed. It wasn’t physical because she could go out dressed in pajamas and people would notice her, but she wasn’t sure the change was mental either. She felt no different, but she knew something had changed. It felt like she was on the brink of remembering something, but she wasn’t quite there. Something was missing yet she wasn’t sure what it was. She wanted to ask anyone, but she’d lost all her friends. Adrien was missing. Bridgette, although their relationship was strained at best, had committed suicide. Who even knew where Marinette was. And Felix had locked himself in his room. She was completely alone.
She knew she could ask Felix’s younger siblings, but they frankly scared her. Rose was constantly flinching. Nathaniel freaked her out with how he was constantly sneaking up on her. And Lila was manipulative. She was entirely alone on the matter. Her mother kept her distance only telling her to use her talents to become rich and famous. Although she loved her father, he was way too big a suck up. She was amazed someone like him was their mayor. However, it put her at an advantage. She’d spent years finding out how to fool people from him. She could probably convince the whole of Paris to off themselves by this point. It wouldn’t ease the weight on her chest though.
After all, it was only her who had changed.
To the kid in the back, with their eyes all swollen red
This blue, more blue
Beyond blue summer skies
If only I could reach you, then you’d see
Felix could remember round azure eyes. They were accompanied by long eyelashes and deep eyebags. He would always look to his right and find them. He found it odd that they were swollen red. The little he could remember of them, he remembered them being always happy yet whenever he dreamed of them, they were filled with such sorrow. He wanted to reach out and wipe the tears away, but he was never able to. He was restrained to his spot. He could only watch a face he couldn’t hope to hold.
He figured he probably saw more than just their eyes when he dreamt, but when he awoke the eyes were all that he could remember. Sometimes, when he thought about it, he would even remember them being red, but he would erase the thought. There was no way someone could have red eyes. It was just impossible.
“Sayonara”, you shouted into endless haze
And yesterday was different too
Surely we’ll escape from this nightmare sometime soon?
A voice called out to Felix occasionally. He was sure it was just Ladybug playing a prank on him or him hearing one of his siblings wonder around the house, but the voice was different. Sometimes, the voice was kind. He could hear a high pitched giggle or sometimes it would say his name. The fondness that his name was said with made him want to break down into tears. However, sometimes the voice was deeper and it would insult him. It would mock him and tease him. It wasn’t like Ladybug’s teasing, it was harsh. The words would dig deep, ripping into wounds that he’d been trying to heal for years.
He thought he might be losing it. He figured the years spent locked up in his room had worn at his sanity, breaking him down until there was nothing left. He kept going though. He got up everyday, pretending nothing was wrong, and ignoring the concerned glances of Ladybug and his family. They didn’t really care because caring about him was pointless.
Please wait, I’m here whenever you’re alone
Just wait, another day will come I’m sure
Be it loneliness, or broken hearts
I’m here for you, so share your part
Sometimes when Felix dreamt, it was of soft embraces and a gentle voice humming to him. In those dreams, he felt at ease. He never wanted to wake from those dreams wishing tomorrow would never come so he could sleep forever. Yet he still woke up each morning with a dull ache in his chest and a throbbing in his brain. He was forgetting something, but he didn’t know what. The loneliness ate him up. He was too weak to push Ladybug away, but he was never strong enough to fully argue with her. Sometimes, he just wanted to shut her up. To end her. He knew these weren’t rational feelings to have, but it didn’t matter. She was just programming after all. Her feelings were all simply coding.
Nothing really mattered, yet he kept going everyday just to achieve the same feelings.
I'm screaming 'til you hear me say
I'm fighting every single day
Grab a hand so warm you said to take
I can't forget it anyway
Chat Noir couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember anything. All that existed was the name the man Gabriel Agreste had given him. The boy reflected in the mirror was unfamiliar. The mask obscuring half his face wouldn’t come off and the cat ears upon his head did whatever they wanted.
There was a duo he’d found. The girl seemed to take a particular interest in him, yet he couldn’t recall her name for the life of him. He should probably question it more, but to think of such things hurt him. He didn’t want to remember because it felt like it would be painful. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t remember what happened to the duo. The memories were probably painful.
Sometimes, he’d be plagued by flashes. One time, he’d seen someone sitting in a hospital bed with blonde hair and green eyes and it had felt like his head was splitting in two. He’d broken down sobbing. He didn't understand why though. He couldn’t remember who it was for the life of him. It felt like it was important, but Gabriel had already told him that it wasn’t. Gabriel had told him many things and why would Gabriel lie to him? After all, the man had stuck by his side all this time and he appeared to be very wise.
That’s right it was easier to forget. That way he could do anything.
My heart's a beat that never fades
You'll never cry alone the same
Colors shining through, the city we once knew
Even if my heart wavers just a bit
All the "lonely days" that you dyed from gray,
Because it's you I know that we’ll get through and try it again
Bridgette had tried her best. Everything she’d done was so everyone else would be happy, but now she realised, she’d played right into the snake’s hand. Everything was her fault and all her friends were suffering because of it. She would never be able to forgive herself for her mistake.
And she wept.