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Atomic Soda

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What makes people are their rituals. Breakfast in the morning, lunch in the afternoon and dinner in the evening are parts of a routine too undervalued because it is what differentiates us from the beasts. At least that was how Tweek excused himself in his statement, leaving the cops with the hairs on the back of his neck encrisped like cats, before the cold eyes that followed the turns of the coffee in his little cardboard glass. They asked him again, as if he had not understood the question or the seriousness of his actions without obtaining more than a satisfied "ah" by sipping the hot liquid and returning it to the interrogation table, looking out the window as if  he was in a cafeteria and not stopped, with at least five nervous policemen rubbing their weapons from time to time to make sure that if they needed them, it would not take them more than two seconds to reach them. Tweek rest his chin in his hand, looking at them without mockery or fear. Without anything absolutely.

“In the morning we came back on the road. We stopped at a restaurant and they served me a warm coffee” He said again, without changing  not even a word, making the cops start to get angry.

“Boy, do you understand that you are in a very serious problem? “ He pulled the papers out of the folder, ready to read again the charges, feeling his head boil when he saw him roll his eyes and go back to the window. “Can you at least pay attention? “

“I already had my coffee. Why should I be interested in what you have to tell to me?”


“Because you are about to go to prison “ Only his years of experience stopped him from losing control and starting to scream, without getting anything. That boy looked like a mannequin.

“A hot coffee, Sir. A fucking hot coffee. Not one obtained with the most demanding techniques of manual extraction, not even of a  stupid kettle. A goddamn instant coffee that was at least hot, is all I asked for. I could have not care about that my boyfriend's bread was a little more than toasted or that they forgot to take the fruit that was included in the package. But what kind of imbecile can not even warm up some water for an instant coffee? Sir, in the mornings, a man all he wants is a coffee to begin to endure the ordeal of living in a town abandoned by God. In my eyes, the monsters were them, denying a man one of the few pleasures that keep him sane.”

“You smashed the waiter's face with a fork, shot at least four people, and then shot people at random on the road until we caught you. For a coffee?”

“It's not the coffee, it's the fact that you deserve a coffee. I've told you since I arrived here. The rituals make the man, Sir”

“You're not a man, you're a fifteen-year-old brat” He smiled so softly that he thought (he begged)  have imagined it “ and that's just why you were not prosecuted as an adult”

“Anyway, I'll be in the correctional  for only ten minutes”

“Child, we have evidence to give you at least twenty years”

“It will be ten minutes” He smiled again, this time against the palm of his hand, looking at a blue spot moving behind the window.

The rituals make the man, Craig smiled as he bit the filter of his cigar so that it would not fall, taking his hands in loading the heavy body and throwing it into the back seats of the car. He ran his fingers through the upholstery, wondering if Tweek would agree to get one of those later. It would be a shame to burn that, but rituals make the man. Because the Jews have their Bar Mitzvah, the Amish their Rumspringa but they, they have the murder. Oh, he still remembers his first time, almost with teary eyes. It was a drunk man who dared to put his disgusting hand on his sister's skirt, how can he forget it. Although of course it was nothing so excessive as Tweek, nothing so dazzling. Eight confirmed and at least five in serious condition. He was so proud that he doubted he could control himself as soon as he saw it. It was not as if Clyde or Token did not give a shit to watch them fuck like animals anyway. His first murder and had been by his side. That must be a sign of fate to tell her they were soulmates or a shit like that.

“Have you already gotten in touch with the mayor? "He asked Clyde, sitting in the passenger seat, looking with a lascivious gleam in his eyes at the photographs on his cell phone.

“You're a fucking lucky bastard, " He licked his lips." They already declared the three who were in critical condition dead. " Bro, your boyfriend officially killed eleven people in his first time “ He whistled, reclining in his seat “ If you do not  fucking him tonight, I'll have to do it myself”

“Before thinking with your dick, you should focus on your work”

"Yes, boss, I already contacted the mayor," he said with annoyance, dialing the number again, clearing his throat before speaking again. "Hello, little bitch. Did you think about our deal?" Craig asked him to put on the speaker.

“ I can not free a criminal who was caught smeared with blood! All the evidence was clear, I did not…”

"Heck, Mayor, you should understand that your moral speeches only serve to cleanse our asses," Craig said. "We do not want to be granted an indulgence, only that they release him."

“This town is quite full of criminals, I can not go free them whenever someone asks me”

“We knew you would say something like that. That's why we do not come with empty hands” Clyde turned on the cell phone lamp, taking care to illuminate and focus on the bulge in the rear seats. Both he and his friend began to hear the screams of the woman “ I think she already recognized him. Is not she glad to at least be able to say goodbye to her husband? “


"As is the increase in abandoned women, you should consider it a privilege," Said Craig between laughs “ Ma'am. In his hands is to avoid another unnecessary death. We have your daughter in the trunk, be aware that we are trying to be people of honor by offering something in exchange for our boy. If you decide that motherhood is not your thing at the end of the day, we will put a beautiful lead diadem on your princess and we will end up releasing it by our means. We will take a little longer, which will make him angry more and more”

"I can not," the woman sobbed against the phone.

“Too bad…”

“No! No! Wait!” she began to scream when she saw Clyde go out and make the move of opening the trunk ” Alright. I'll send the order, but please. Get away from my family” Clyde cut the call, looking at Craig with victory. He took the girl out, without removing the blindfold, only the ties on his legs and arms. They complied by releasing her, if she could not survive in the middle of an abandoned road at midnight, it was a separate issue.

Tweek took the time to get up and turn around, letting them put the handcuffs back on before taking him to court, thinking if he could stay with them when he left. They were already decorating very dirty fantasies in his mind.

"Ten minutes of peace cost three years of war," he whispered, remembering a letter from his boyfriend.The officer who held him managed to listen to him, beginning to laugh.

“Do you really  still thinking you're going to get out of here in ten minutes? When the jury hears what you did, they will forget that you are a child”  both saw the pale man in charge of the case extend the paper with the official signatures and seals, both heard that ALL the charges had been dismissed.

"You're right," he laughed so childishly that none could believe that the sound came from that maniac covered in blood and dirt “it was only eight minutes.”