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Lullaby

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"Joonie..."

“Joonie…” Namjoon stirs in his sleep, not aware of the boy standing next to his bed. Jimin hugs his plushy tighter, “Joonieee, can’t sleep” Jimin’s whining is more urgent now, stressed. “Hmm, what’s that, babyboy?” the older mumbles, still not really awake.
“’m cold. Being alone scares me.” The blonde boy pouts, his tiny hand grabbing the older man’s pyjama. Namjoon finally seems to wake up, “Jimin? What are you doing here?” Jimin’s lips tremble and he looks like he’s about to burst into tears. “Joonie, I’m scared, can I please stay with you tonight?”


It stays quiet for a couple of seconds, as if the older was still registering what was being said to him but then Namjoon wiggles to the side of the bed and holds up the blanket “Come here, angel.”


Namjoon rolls on his side so Jimin can cuddle up next to him, head on his shoulder and nose pressed close to his neck. Something inaudible escapes from Jimin’s mouth. “Hmm, what’s that?” Instead of answering he feels Jimin taking his hand and placing it on his back. “Give me the sleep tickles,” he demands, Namjoon has to laugh with the pout he can clearly hear in Jimin’s voice but he does what he’s asked, and softly starts to caress and pat Jimin’s back. “’m still scared, Joonie,” he sighs.
“So what’s scaring you, petal?”

The noises, the noises scare Jimin. The sound of something invisible being angry at the world, the sound of something trying to get in, it scares him. He knows he is safe in the house but at the moment he doesn’t really feel like it. Joonie’s big bed though, the warm big bed and the calming sound of his breathing, that is safe. Yes, the house is safe, but in Namjoon’s bed he is simply untouchable and with angry noises hitting the windows and all the scary things that are happening, the big bed simply seems like the better option.

“There are creepy things outside, they’re knocking on the windows, don’t you hear it? All those noises, it’s like someone is sneaking around the house.” Namjoon stops caressing Jimin’s back and instead starts to pet the boy’s angelic blonde hair. “You don’t need to worry, baby…” he pauses for a second, “Do you want me to sing a song for you, angel?”

Jimin doesn’t need to think twice about the offer, his Joonie singing to him… that’s what he was secretly hoping for when he tip-toed through the dark hall from his room to Joonie’s. Jimin loves his calm and warm voice, he loves the fuzzy feeling he gets when he feels the soft vibrations of Namjoon’s chest when he sings and he loves the low timbre that keeps all the nightmares away. “Please,” he nuzzles his nose a little closer in Namjoon’s neck and relaxes a little bit. The fingers massaging Jimin’s head move to his back again, traveling up and down in featherlight touches. It’s so, so warm.

Namjoon carefully clears his throat and quietly starts to sing a lullaby. It’s a little slow, as he’s making up the text as he goes. But Jimin doesn’t care, it’s perfect.

Jimin don’t you worry, baby
There’s really nothing wrong
The night might be dark and cold
And last a little too long

The noises that you hear outside,
I know that you’re afraid
But there’s no need to panic
They’re coming to your aid

It is the wind
Who’s scaring away your nightmares
The whole night through
It keeps you safe
So snuggle a little closer
I’ll protect you too

Joonie always makes Jimin feel better, comforts him when needed.
It’s quiet except for the wind kicking some nightmare’s ass. Jimin is mindlessly tracing Namjoon’s nose, dimples, cheeks.


“Are you still scared, angel?”


Jimin wants to show his Joonie that he’s a big boy, but in all honesty, he’s still afraid. He doesn’t say anything for a little while. He doesn’t want Namjoon to think his song didn’t help, because it did help, he’s not frightened of the noises anymore, but there’s still that weird light outside that glows in and out of sight behind the curtains. But what if Namjoonie thinks he’s being silly? What if Namjoonie is disappointed that Jimin is not being a big boy? What if Namjoonie thinks he’s being annoying? He feels panic coming up again and before he can stop it, a tear runs from his cheek and drips on Namjoon’s collarbone.


“Angel?” Namjoon’s voice sounds even more worried than Jimin feels “Breathe, angel, just tell me what scares you, or are you still scared of the wind?”
Jimin is too scared to look Namjoon in the eyes, so starts to pick at the fabric of Namjoon’s pyjamas when he says in a small voice, “I’m not scared of the sounds and the wind anymore, but I see something moving outside.”
“What do you see, babyboy?” Namjoon doesn’t seem disappointed at all, just understanding, just Joonie.
“It’s light and then dark and it’s like there are bad people shining with flashlights”.
Namjoon lifts his head a little bit so he can see what Jimin means and he smiles. “Do you want to know a secret, Jiminie?”

Namjoon’s secrets are always the best secrets because they’re only meant for him and his plushy, Chimmy. The secret is always something only Namjoon knows because his Joonie is so smart and Jimin likes it when Namjoon teaches him something new like this. “Tell me the secret.” Jimin demands. “Wait!” before Namjoon can start Jimin asks, “Can I make the feather drawings on you as well?”

Feather drawings, Sleep tickles… They were Jimin’s favourite thing to receive, but he loved giving them to Namjoon. It calmed him down and it was peaceful. One day, when Hobi was taking care of him and Jimin was upset, he taught Jimin about the sleep tickles and ever since it was his Little way to show affection and to calm down.

“I would love the feather drawings, angel,” Namjoon smiled.
“So, the secret,” he continued, “those lights disappearing and then coming back, it’s the moon and the stars playing hide and seek with the clouds.” Namjoon starts to draw clouds, stars and a moon on Jimin’s back, “they’re also making sure the wind can see where it needs to be to chase away the nightmares.”
“Oh” is what Jimin answers.
“But what happens to the bad dreams when there is no moon and no wind?”
Namjoon chuckles, “That’s a really smart question, Jiminie, but don’t worry. It simply means that there are no nightmares that need to be scared away.”
That made sense, Jimin thought.
“Do you remember that drama we watched together when you were a big boy? Do you remember what they meant when they said ‘The moon is beautiful tonight?’”
Of course, Jimin remembered: “It means I love you.” He shyly nuzzles a bit closer again in Namjoon’s neck when he says those last three words.
“Hmm, Jiminie?”
“Yes, Joonie?”
“The moon is beautiful tonight, angel.”
Jimin giggles and Namjoon swears he lives for that sound, wants to live the rest of his life trying to get that sound out of his angel as much as possible.
“The moon is beautiful tonight, Joonie” he mumbles in Namjoon’s nape.
Namjoon starts humming a new melody, “Do you want to hear another song” he asks softly, “or do you want to sleep?”
Jimin looks up, frown and pout clear on his sleepy face “That’s a really stupid question, Joonie,” he says seriously. Namjoon almost laughs out loud but contains himself in the last moment.
“You’re right, angel, I shouldn’t have asked.” And he starts a new song with a different melody, but it’s just as nice as the last one, the soft sound of the older man’s voice filling the room once again.

The moon is shining bright tonight
It’s guarding your sweet dreams
Just close your eyes and drift away,
It’s easier than it seems

The stars will keep you company
They’ll twinkle all night through
Don’t worry they will stay right there
They’ll always be with you

The darkness may seem scary but
You don’t have to be brave
It covers you, just go to sleep
The night will keep you safe

The reassuring words combined with the soft, simple melody are exactly what Jimin needs. He feels so loved and cared for. He wants to stay like this forever, but he should go back to his room, right? He wants to stay in the bed even though he’s not scared anymore. Should he lie? Tell Namjoon he’s still afraid? But that would make his Joonie sad, right? He tried so hard to comfort Jimin this late at night.
“Joonie…” the little calming taps of Namjoon’s fingers on his back stop for a second. “I’m not afraid anymore.” Namjoon’s hand travels to Jimin’s face, caressing his puffy cheek “but….?” He asks softly. Jimin smiles, of course Namjoon knows, he always knows.
“Can I still stay in bed with you?”
Namjoon sighs, but Jimin knows it’s a dimple sigh, a sigh that comforts him, he the sigh means “you just asked a dumb question,” but in the fondest way.
“Jimin,“ the hand on his face disappears for a second and then boops his nose, “do you see this pillow?” he cocks his head a little bit, “whose pillow is this?”
Jimin pouts, “It’s Joonie’s”.
“Yes, it is,” Namjoon smiles his dimple smile. “And whose pillow is this?” he pulls a little at the pillow that Jimin is partially occupying. Namjoon feels a little huff in his neck
“It’s Jiminie’s”.
“Exactly, and it will always be my angel’s pillow, whether it’s Jiminie or Jimin, okay?” The response he gets is Jimin just crawling even more on him, entire torso now practically covering him, and one leg folded over his waist. “You know this bed is yours as much as it’s mine. It’s not because you want to go sleep in your room in the evening that you’re not welcome here anymore. You’re always welcome here and I want you here when you want to be in the big bed” he reassures the Little on top of him. Jimin answers with a noncommittal sound, clearly struggling to stay awake any longer.

It’s incredibly late and Namjoon is still tracing lines on Jimin’s back. Subconsciously he hums the melody of the little lullabies he sang. The wind is still howling outside and the glow of the moon appearing and disappearing behind the curtains. “The moon really is beautiful tonight” he ponders as he presses a kiss on Jimin’s forehead. The younger just blissfully sighs in his sleep and even though it wasn’t possible anymore, nuzzles closer in Namjoon’s neck.