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We Play in Black and White, But I See in Infrared (The When I Think About You, I Touch Myself Remix)

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We Play in Black and White, But I See in Infrared (The When I Think About You, I Touch Myself Remix)



     The air in the game room was stale. Sweat pooled in the curve of Touya’s lower back, and he cursed the Go Institute’s inability to get their air conditioning fixed in a timely fashion. His fingers were slick, the stones sliding across his fingertips. It made his play sloppier than usual, the stones not quite centered on the cross-stitching of the board. He wished he’d thought to bring some kind of handkerchief; he didn’t want to get sweat stains on the sleeves of his shirt – something Shindou didn’t have to worry about in his casual short-sleeved yellow t-shirt.

     Touya’s eyes strayed from the board to look at his opponent. Shindou was sitting cross-legged instead of in the traditional seiza, his legs only half covered by his cargo shorts, revealing well-muscled calves. He was hunched over slightly, his eyes intent on the board, completely oblivious to Touya’s wandering eyes. Sweat dampened his hairline, making some of his hair stick to his skin. Shindou’s teeth toyed with his lower lip as he considered the board.

     In short, it was a sight that made his mouth go dry and his body warm in a way that couldn’t be explained by the heat.

     Shindou’s eyebrows knit together and he bowed his head in defeat. Touya had thought he’d never figure out that he had no options left and he quickly stood up, ignoring the dull ache in his legs. He said something to Shindou that may have been ‘I need to use the restroom’ but could have been ‘ugh’ and all but ran down the hall.

     He didn’t bother to lock the stall, instead leaning against the door as he hastily undid his pants and pulled out his throbbing erection. Three short strokes had him coming into the toilet, some of the milky liquid hitting the seat.

     He slumped against the door, trying to get his panting back to a reasonable form of breathing. Then he cleaned off the toilet, adjusted his clothes, washed his hands and made his dignified way back to the game room, feeling ready to take on the postgame discussion with Shindou.

     He was confident he wouldn’t need to use the bathroom again for at least a half hour.



     The Touya Go Salon was nearly empty at this late hour, but there were still enough people to scatter when the argument broke out. It had been a while since they’d fought over a game, but here they were, yelling at each other like they were kids again.

     Shindou ran his fingers through his bangs in a purely frustrated gesture, his cheeks reddened from the excitement. Combined with his somewhat rumpled clothing from a long day not yet over, he looked a little like he’d been ravished. The sudden overwhelming need to grab Shindou and kiss him senseless  that filled Touya then just made him fight harder, until Shindou stalked out in an adorable huff.

     Masturbating in his father’s Go salon bathroom was probably pretty unacceptable, but that didn’t stop him from leaning over the toilet, one hand braced on the wall, the other using the left over adrenaline to tease himself to completion, thinking about a much more satisfying end to their argument.



     In the room of Profound Darkness, the battle was starting to heat up. Touya couldn’t even feel the weight of the eyes on him in light of the intense pressure of each move on the board. It had started nicely enough, their opening joseki was typical, but before they’d even really begun chuuban, Shindou had played there, and things quickly spiraled into a vicious battle to the death.

     You’d think Shindou would have worn something formal to such an important match, though Touya suspected it had something to do with the fact that they were playing each other, which was an oddly endearing thought. Instead of the suit he should have worn to the seventh and final game to determine the winner of the Honinbou title, he was wearing tan carpenter’s pants and his red checkered button up shirt – a shirt that he seemed to think was too modest, because he’d already unbuttoned the top two buttons and his fingers were toying with the third.

     Touya didn’t have much attention to spare Shindou and his faux stripping, and instead slammed a stone down that made his opponent gasp before grinning wildly and countering, placing the stone almost lovingly, as if mocking Akira’s forceful play.

     The room at large fell silent. Well, more silent than it already was. It was such a brilliant move, and he could feel it invading his territory, taking up more and more, Shindou’s stone pushing against his in a way that was almost scandalous in a room with all these people. It could easily be the end of this game, but Touya wasn’t just any opponent, and Shindou’s expression was pleased when Touya began his defense.

     Another button came undone as his rival considered a move, and Touya was starting to pant, as much from the game as from the stripping boy in front of him. Three little buttons shouldn’t affect him this way, but in this room, during this game, it was unbelievably unbearable. He could now see the hint of a collarbone where the shirt opened just under the hollow of his throat, and he wanted nothing more than to run his tongue along that exposed skin…

     He placed another stone, teasingly, and Shindou licked his lips, his hand resting in the goke as he contemplated his next move. He was gripping his fan absently, his long fingers flexing around the handle again and again, a lone fingertip running up and down it lightly. All at once, the stones clacked together as he pulled out a piece and laid it with a finality felt by everyone in the room.

     Touya made some sort of sound, and Shindou’s eyes rose to stare defiantly across the goban, daring Touya to try and defend. He stared into the depths of Shindou’s green eyes, then back at the board. His rival had overtaken him, and he could feel himself drowning in the sea of stones laid out before him. No matter what move he made, he’d never be able to take control of the board.

     Touya bowed his head in defeat, before meeting Shindou’s gaze again. The look in his eyes was unreadable, but there was a tight smile on his face, and Touya felt compelled to say, “Your Go is brilliant, worthy of Shuusaku’s title.”

     Something came over Shindou’s expression then, somehow both dark and bright at the same time. It looked as if he might cry. He shook his head slightly. “Our Go is brilliant.”

     Touya’s heart leapt up into his throat. He gave Shindou a tight nod and excused himself as the reporters descended, intent on the bathroom.

     He wanted to be elsewhere, not stuck here with reporters asking question after question until well into the night. He wanted to be taking Shindou out to celebrate his first title, even if he’d taken it from Touya. And as long as we’re wanting, he wanted to know more about that look on Shindou’s face, right before finishing the job of unbuttoning his shirt and running his fingers along the exposed skin, inch by inch until Shindou begs for more.

     The game they’d just played in all its beauty was enough to make him hard, and he wasted no time freeing his cock. But it was the thought of Shindou sitting across from him, toying with the buttons on his shirt that made him wrap his fingers around it. He didn’t take his time – they were waiting for him in the game room, after all – but he still allowed his mind to wander as he jerked himself off at a moderate pace, recalling all of the things about Shindou that drove him to do unthinkable things like jack off in a Go Institute bathroom stall.

     He came thinking about that look on Shindou’s face when he’d told him his Go was brilliant.



     When Shindou asked Touya to stay the night, it was late, he didn’t want to wake his parents, did he? he’d grudgingly agreed and settled in for another game. Shindou provided him with some hideously yellow pajamas with the word ‘Go’ printed in little black lettering all over them, leaving nothing for himself to wear to bed, since apparently he only owned one thing to sleep in, which Touya thought was rather unpractical. Shindou was left to wander around the apartment in a pair of green shorts that were little more than boxers.

     Touya lost the next game.

     Shindou stretched, his skin hinting at lean muscle all along his exposed stomach. The blond-banged boy seemed entirely at ease with his next-to-naked body, giving no thought to how the trickle of dark hair starting at his belly button and leading down into his shorts was making Touya hard – enough that standing up from his place in front of the Goban in the thin material covering him was unthinkable.

     Shindou got up and motioned towards his room with a tilt of his head. “I only have the one futon, but we can share it. Unless you want to sleep on the floor?”

     Shindou didn’t have a couch, and the floor was hard. But sharing a futon with his mostly naked rival was almost more than he could bear. At least, in his current state.

     “Well, okay, but could I use your shower first?”

     “Sure, let me get you a towel.”

     Touya took his chance to head to the bathroom without eyes on him, taking care to hide his lower half behind the door when Shindou reappeared with a towel. Their fingers met briefly when he reached for it, and Akira shivered slightly at feel of Go stone induced calluses sliding across his hand. Shindou cocked his head to the side. “Are you cold?”

     “Ah, don’t worry about it. I’ll take a warm shower.”

     “You sure? I could turn up the heat if you want.”

     Touya couldn’t help thinking that turning up the heat definitely wouldn’t help. Shindou was hot enough as it was. “No, it’s fine.”

     Shindou shrugged and finally, Touya was behind closed doors. He wasted no time stripping and getting into the shower, acutely aware of just how odd it was to be naked in his rival’s bathroom, but too hard to care.

     He reached for the conditioner and poured some into his hand. He hadn’t anticipated the effect the smell would have on him, and his cock throbbed violently at the scent of Shindou’s hair. He wrapped his slick fingers around himself and started to slowly jack himself off, warm water streaming down his back.

     Ensnared by the scent of Shindou all around him, he closed his eyes, imagining the calluses on his hand weren’t his own. He tried to imagine how the touch would be different if it were Shindou’s hand wrapped around him, and he adjusted accordingly, teasingly playing with the slit, running his fingers around the tip. Touya’s eyes slid closed and he bit his lip as the warm spray on his back became a warm body pressed against him. He concentrated until he could feel lips ghosting across his neck, hair brushing his cheek.

     He sped up, rubbing rough fingers along his shaft, trying not to whimper and failing, the quiet sounds harsh in his ears. He hoped Shindou couldn’t hear him as he bit back on his cry, his orgasm wracking through him in waves.

     He leaned against the cool tiles and opened his eyes. He knew he should probably stop jerking off to the thought of his rival, who was, oh God, a wall away right now, but it felt so right, and he didn’t think it would be good for him to run around with a perpetual hard on.

     He hurried through the rest of his shower, barely finishing soaping himself before rinsing and putting back on the hideous pajamas. Shindou was already lying down, and Touya noticed he’d turned up the heat anyway, which made him warm in a completely different way than earlier.

     Sliding into bed with Shindou was a truly odd feeling. It was something he’d very much wanted for such a long time, but not under such torturous circumstances. He thought he might break something trying not to reach out and touch.

     Then Shindou rolled over and flung his arm and a leg across him in his sleep. Shindou’s hair was tickling his cheek for real this time, and Touya tried to shift away, but his rival just nestled in closer. Reaching up with one hand, he held his breath and lightly ran his fingers over Shindou’s hair. It wasn’t quite as soft as he’d expected, being it was full of hair care products, but it was Shindou and that made all the difference. He settled his arm around his rival’s shoulder and tried to sleep – but his cock twitched to life, and Touya sighed.

     It was going to be a long night.



     Touya was replaying games when the completely unexpected knock broke his concentration. It wasn’t coming from the door but from the window, and his puzzled look faded when he realized it was Shindou. A very wet Shindou.

     He opened the window with a greeting of, “Couldn’t find the door?”

     Shindou grinned and rubbed at the back of his head sheepishly. “Well, I didn’t think you’d hear me in this storm. Can I come in?”

     “Only if you go around. I’m not letting you drip all over my floor.”

     Touya went to get a towel and a change of clothes for Shindou before meeting him at the door. “Strip.”

     His rival stepped into the entryway, took the towel, glared at the clothes, and started to peel his sopping wet shirt from his body. It clung to him around his midsection, and Touya watched in complete fascination as Shindou had to run his fingers across his skin and up under his shirt just to get it off of himself. It came to him that he should give Shindou some privacy, but then his rival was undoing the button of his pants, and Touya’s eyes were glued to Shindou’s fingers as they unzipped and tugged at his jeans, slowly revealing wet boxer briefs that clung to the blond-banged boy’s body like a second skin.

     Touya tried very hard not to linger too much on the bulge in those boxer briefs.

     Then Shindou was bending over, pushing at his pant legs until he could slip them off his feet, his lean muscles tightening as he worked. When he reached for the waistband of his underwear, Touya suddenly found he needed to be elsewhere, preferably immediately. But he was still holding the dry clothes and he wasn’t sure what he should do at all. When Shindou wrapped the towel around himself to remove the final article of wet cloth, Touya didn’t know whether to be relieved or frustrated. Instead, he thrust the new clothes at Shindou and tried not to blush too hard.

     Shindou just glared at the clothes again, completely nonplussed. “I’m totally not wearing those. You’ve got to have something normal I can wear.”

     Touya took a moment to speak, his heart threatening to beat right out of his chest, and finally managed, “Yes. Right. You can look through what I have if you want.”

     Touya turned away under the guise of leading Shindou to his room, trying to hide that he was so hard it hurt. His rival padded after him, completely naked apart from the small towel slung low on his waist.

     He averted his eyes when they finally made it to his room, waving a hand in the general direction of his closet. “You can wear whatever you find suitable.” Touya put down the clothes he’d been carrying and turned to leave. “I’m going to go put your clothes in the dryer and-“

     Suddenly, arms were circling Touya’s waist, a weight coming to rest on his back, hot breath on his neck, gelled hair brushing his cheek. Shindou smelled of hair products and rain, his wet hair cold but his body warm where it molded itself to Touya’s back.

     His entire body felt like it was on fire, and he was suddenly having trouble breathing. “Sh-Shindou?”

     “Just warming up. You don’t want me to get sick, do you?”

     “I, uh-“

     “Besides,” Shindou said, his grin plain in his voice, “I heard you.”

     Touya couldn’t follow the conversation, his mind too busy short circuiting at his rivals fingers ghosting across his abdomen, pulling him closer. “Heard?” he breathed.

     “That night in my shower. And,” he went on, ignoring Touya’s imminent spontaneous combustion, “I was awake when you got out.”

     Touya tried to get free, whether to run or to turn to face his rival he wasn’t even sure, but Shindou held him firmly in place. “You- I- oh God.”

     The soft chuckle sounded loud right next to his ear, and he needed to do something, anything, but then Shindou brushed his lips along his jaw line and he turned his face toward his rival in pure shocked reaction, giving the other boy the opening he needed to claim Touya’s lips in a kiss that was one part hesitant, two parts inexperienced, and full of so much passion it left Touya dizzy.

     Shindou’s hands flirted with the waistband of Touya’s pants, lingering on the button, pulling back to give Touya a look that wavered between questioning and bravado, and Touya wanted to just let him, he really did, but he had no idea what was happening but he was panting and his body was tingling and he said, “Wa-wait.”

     Shindou recoiled like he’d been slapped, releasing Touya and looking away, his whole body reddening. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking, I thought-“

     Touya turned towards him, eyes wide. “Oh no, it’s not that I didn’t, I mean…” The words escaped him, so he did the only thing he could think of – he pulled Shindou to him and kissed him so hard, their teeth clicked together. It took a few moments, but eventually they got things figured out, and finally his tongue was in Shindou’s mouth and it was wet and hot and more amazing than all his fantasies put together.

     The skin to skin contact on just his arms was driving him insane, and he decided he didn’t care about how fast they were moving – this was Shindou and with Shindou he’d always wanted more right now; this was no exception. He tugged at his shirt, fumbling with it awkwardly until his rival moved to help him, and then they were pressed together again, bare chest to bare chest, shaky hands wandering over soft flesh and taut muscles.

     Once again Shindou’s hands strayed to Touya’s waistband, but this time the raven-haired boy just nodded against his rival’s neck, his lips otherwise occupied. The blond-banged boy wasted no time, pushing both pants and boxers down in one movement. It felt too weird being the only one naked, or mostly so, as his pants were still bunched around his knees, so he ignored the flaming of his face and just grabbed the towel separating them and pulled.

    Shindou was just as hard as Touya was, and there were twin gasps as their erections made contact for the first time. They just stood there for a few minutes staring at each other. Then Shindou gave an experimental buck of his hips and Akira thought he might faint where he stood. It was electric and thrilling and fantastic and he’d only thought he’d wanted more before.

     Touya rocked up onto the balls of his feet and back again, but there wasn’t anything to keep their cocks together, and the friction wasn’t anywhere near what he wanted. He tried to push himself closer to Shindou, but with a growl that equaled the frustration Touya felt, his rival put a hand between them and wrapped his fingers around both of their erections as best he could.

     Shindou squeezed, pressing their cocks together, and stroked almost languidly. Akira gasped and leaned in to bite at Shindou’s bottom lip. It was a curious sensation – his rival’s hand on one side, their erections pressed together in the middle, and open air on the other side. Still, even holding on to both of them at the same time Shindou was ridiculously talented with his fingers. The fact that his rival’s Go calluses were rubbing against his tip just made him pant all the harder, and he imagined the blond-banged boy must jerk himself off almost as much as Touya does.

     Shindou’s teeth were exploring Touya’s neck, and Touya was willed with an overwhelming need to touch more than just his rival’s bare back and his gel-stiff hair. His hand moved to join Shindou’s, covering the side his rival couldn’t with just one hand, Touya’s fingers coming to rest at the other boy’s palm. It took him a moment to match their rhythms – his only thought for a moment being I’mtouchingShindouthereohgod – but when he finally got it figured out, it was his rival who let out a groan, and Touya thought he might come at just the sound of it.

     He sped up a little, and Shindou matched him, instantly in sync, and it took all of Touya’s concentration to not just fall over right there with how weak he was in the knees. He was still leaning pretty heavily on his rival, using his lips to explore every inch of him he could. Then the fingers on Shindou’s free hand were digging into Touya’s hair, pulling him in for a kiss that was all lips and tongue and teeth, moaning Touya’s name brokenly, his body shaking either from pleasure or strain or both, and Touya was sloppily kissing back, his free hand clutching at the other boy’s waist, a noise that was between a groan and a hum tickling the back of his throat.

     Then Shindou stiffened, his movements becoming jerky, and an inarticulate cry rolled off his tongue and into Touya’s mouth, his hot seed spilling over both of their hands, and Touya didn’t think anything could ever be any sexier than that as he came with a cry of his own, lights exploding behind his eyes while he clutched at Shindou and just tried not to fall from the waves of orgasm shaking his body. But then Shindou started to sag, and they sank to their knees together, Touya’s pants bunching uncomfortably around his calves.

     They were both panting and sweating, pupils dilated and hands sticky. After a few minutes of gasping for breath, Shindou smirked. “I’m definitely warm now.”

     Touya tried to glare at him for breaking the mood, but his sharp laughter sort of made it fall flat.