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The New York Times

Monday, June 3rd 1973

Massacre In New Mexico: At Least 1000 Dead

Sarasota Springs, New Mexico: At least a thousand people are dead after a hoard of what dozens of eye-witnesses called “black-eyed monsters” swept through the town of just 2,000 people Monday night.

Witnesses claim that the attackers—all long-time residents—carried out the attack with household objects including kitchen knives, hammers, and often their bare hands.

“Not one of them used a gun,” Howard Newton, who watched his sister murder her husband and three children, “She just ripped them apart. And guns don’t work on them either. I pumped her full of lead, and she just laughed with those black eyes. She wasn’t human no more.”

Two hours after the first 911 call, the killings stopped. Multiple witnesses claim that the attackers collapsed to the ground, black smoke billowing from their mouths.

“I am a stone-cold sober, life-long atheist,” Angela Maloney told the Times, “But those people weren’t human anymore. I swear on my grandmother’s Bible that those things came straight from hell.”


The Wall Street Journal

Wednesday, June 5th 1973

“Demon” Rampages Continue: Death Toll Over 8000

Over 8000 people in 12 States have been killed by black-eyed attackers many are simply calling “demons.”

In every case, the perpetrators have been average citizens whose eyes turned jet-black moments before killing those around them—often family members and friends. After killing as many as 50 people with little more than their hands, the perpetrator would collapse, black smoke ejecting from their bodies.

All perpetrators have been taken into custody, but authorities refuse to provide details on possible motives.


The Evangelical Times

Wednesday, June 5th, 1973


There can be no doubt now, demons walk with their heads high on this Earth. Mothers killing children. Sons killing fathers. Wives killing husbands. The wicked rush to churches, begging for forgiveness from a God they mocked just a week ago. The End Has Come.


The Washington Post

Thursday, June 6th, 1973

Holy Water and Salt Stop Black-Eyed Attackers

Black-Eyed Attackers cannot cross salt lines, and holy water burns them. Hundreds of witnesses, most of whom refer to themselves as “hunters” have approached authorities, news outlets, and religious leaders with information on how to defend against the attackers they unanimously refer to as “demons.”


The New York Times

Monday, June 12th, 1973

President Nixon Confirms Existence of Demons


The Wall Street Journal

Monday, June 12th, 1973



The Washington Post

Monday, June 12th, 1973

Nixon: “The Armies of Hell Are at War With The American People”


The New York Times

Monday, June 19th, 1973

10,000 Dead as Demon Attacks Finally Decrease

FBI Director says decrease due to administration’s swift confirmation of existence of demons as well as “swift and merciless response of our law enforcement officers, National Guard, and armed forces.”


The Wall Street Journal

Monday, June 27th, 1973

No Demon-Related Deaths on Sunday

Authorities warn civilians to remain cautious.


The New York Times

Monday, June 28th, 1973

Demon Hosts Consented to Possession

Washington, DC: The FBI has confirmed that every demonic host consented to possession.

“We can say with certainly,” the FBI said in an official statement, “That all demonic hosts consented to possession and that it is impossible for demons to possess an unwilling host.”

“The essentially sold their souls,” said Ryan Yates, FBI Director, “A demon approached them. Offered them money, sex, cars, anything, if they agreed to be possessed.”


The Washington Post

Monday, June 28th, 1973

They Knew What They Were Doing

The FBI confirmed early Sunday morning that every demon host agreed to be possessed.

“They knew what they were signing up for,” said Anthony Hardy, White House Press Secretary, “They might not have known all the specifics. But they knew these things were from hell, and they definitely knew the demons were going to use their bodies to kill people.”


The Wall Street Journal

Sunday, July 4th, 1973

Nixon: “Today We Declare Independence from Supernatural Tyranny”

In a televised address to the country, President Nixon declared his intention to fight the new demonic threat, “Until the devil himself cowers in the deepest pits of hell.”

The President also announced the formation of “The Department of Supernatural Containment,” which will lead official efforts to combat the demonic threat. The Department will be staffed primarily by “hunters,” experts on the Supernatural who had previously lived on the fringes of American life, hunting the monsters most of us thought were just nightmares.  


The New York Times

Wednesday, August 1st, 1973

All Female Demon Hosts Were Pregnant Before Their Possession

Multiple officials at both the FBI and The Department of Supernatural Containment have confirmed that all female demon hosts to date were pregnant before their possession.

“It’s clear the demons wanted to do something with the unborn children,” said Emily Campbell, Assistant Director of the Department of Supernatural Containment. “We do not know what that was or if they accomplished their goal.”


Washington Post

Friday, August 3rd, 1973

Debate Rages Over the Fate of “Demon-Children”

The country is locked in a furious debate over the fate of the unborn children of female demonic hosts. Many argue the safest course of action is to terminate all the pregnancies. “We know the demons wanted the babies,” Barbara Perry, a secretary from Seattle, Washington told The Post, “Let’s send the things straight to hell before they try to kill us too!”

Others believe the lives of the unborn children should be taken into account, “Children should not be punished for the sins of their mothers,” said Gloria Fairchild, a stay-at-home mother in Atlanta. 


The Wall Street Journal

Friday, August 10th, 1973

Demon Children Will Be Born but Raised in Confinement

The Department of Supernatural Containment announced that the children of pregnant demon hosts will be born but raised in confinement.

“All supernatural records that we have consulted indicate that these ‘children’ will not be human,” Emily Campbell, Vice Director of the Department said at the Press Conference announcing the decision, “But it is essential that we understand the potential threat these unborn children pose, as we must assume demons are still actively attempting to possess pregnant women.”

The decision was met with widespread support from both parties, though some children’s rights activists raised concerns over the potential living conditions of the unborn children.


The New York Times

Thursday, September 1st, 1973

First Demon Child Born: Blood Contains Sulfur

The Department of Supernatural Containment (DSC) announced the birth of the first “demon child,” the child of a woman who was possessed by a demon during pregnancy, and evidence already suggests these children are genetically distinct from humans.

“There’s sulfur in the baby’s blood,” Emily Campbell, Vice Director of the DSC said, “Which means it isn’t human. Sulfur is one of the primary indicators of a demonic presence. We will continue our observations and keep the child, and future children, in neutral environments to determine their fundamental natures, but all current indicators suggest we have some type of demon hybrid on our hands.”


The Washington Post

Sunday, September 1st, 1976

Demon Children Less Empathetic, Independent, and Intelligent

Three years after the birth of the first “demon child,” The Department of Supernatural Containment (DSC) released its first report on the cognitive, emotional, and physical development of demon-human hybrids when compared to fully human children.

“Physically, hybrid and human children are nearly identical,” the report said, “Hybrids have no demonic abilities. They do not react to holy water or salt. Their eyes do not turn black. They do not have super-human strength.”

“However, the cognitive and emotional differences are staggering. Hybrid children display only half the cognitive ability of human children. Even more concerning, hybrids are 70% less empathetic than their human counterparts and display only a third of a human child’s independence.”

“Hybrids seem hardwired to obey,” the report concludes, “Not only do they lack the cognitive ability to form complex thoughts, they also lack the emotional capacity to distinguish between right and wrong and the independence to question decisions made by someone they consider superior.”

Over 1,000 hybrids were born over the past 3 years, with ages ranging from 3 years to 2 weeks.  


The New York Times

Tuesday, September 3rd, 1976

Congress Debates Fate of Hybrids

Members of both Houses of Congress engaged in furious debates over the fate of current and future hybrids after the bombshell Department of Supernatural Containment report saying that hybrids lacked the cognitive and emotional capabilities of humans.

Neither party has been able to suggest a coherent response to the question, which involves a wide range of factors—from national security to, some would argue, animal rights.

“While it may be true that hybrids are not human,” Senator Cheryl Matting (D, New York) said, “The fact remains they are living creatures deserving of fundamental levels of dignity.”

Her statement was met sharp rebukes from Senators of both parties from states where the largest demon massacres took place.

“We should kill every one of them,” Senator Howard Albright (R, New Mexico) said, “This isn’t a matter of ethics, it’s a matter of National Security.”


The Washington Post

Monday, September 16th, 1976

Confirmation: Hybrid’s Aren’t Human

The American Psychological Association, American Medical Association, Department of Health, and Department for Supernatural Containment have released a joint statement announcing their unanimous agreement that hybrids are genetically distinct from humans.

“Due to dramatic disparities in their genetic make-up and cognitive functions, it is the unanimous agreement of these organizations that hybrids cannot be considered human. Furthermore, equating beings created by supernatural entities of incredible destructive power with humans is a grave and potentially catastrophic error, regardless of superficial similarities in appearance and physical capabilities.”

Other major public and private medical and research bodies are expected to sign onto this statement in the coming weeks.


The Wall Street Journal

Wednesday, September 18th, 1976

“Make Them Pay Their Debt with Their Sweat”

Robert Engel, who is running for his second term as Governor of Nebraska aired an explosive opinion when speaking with reporters Tuesday.

“I tell you what kills me,” he said, “We’ve got demon children sitting around on the taxpayer’s dollar while our children go hungry and their parents look desperately for jobs that keep moving overseas. Those hybrids must bear the souls of the 15,000 people killed by demons and their human hosts. I say we make them pay off their debt with their sweat!”

The statement triggered immediate backlash.

“We cannot let these tragedies deprive us of our humanity,” Herbert Greenman, Governor Engel’s Democratic opponent, said in a statement.

“We must go down this road again,” Richard Armstrong, President of the Nebraska chapter of the NAACP told reporters, “We can never let this country fall back into the evil of slavery.”

Reactions to Engel’s comments have been relatively muted from both parties outside of Nebraska, as the country continues to grapple with a growing population of partially demonic beings.

“We’ll see what the people of Nebraska decide,” Allison Davis, a top Democratic Political Analyst said, “If this sinks Engel’s campaign, we’ve heard the last of this idea. If not, we may have a shocking development in an already vicious debate.”


The New York Times

Wednesday, January 28th, 1977

“Debt with Sweat” Movement Sweeps Nation

Since Governor Robert Engel’s landslide victory in Nebraska, the “Debt with Sweat” Movement—which argues hybrids should be forced to work for the public good with little to no compensation—has swiftly gain traction among Republicans and, increasingly, Democrats.

A stunning 55% of Republicans say they would support “Debt with Sweat” Laws, with 20% opposing such policies and 25% remaining undecided. 28% of Democrats support “Debt with Sweat” policies, with 40% opposing and 32% undecided.

Republicans and Democrats who support “Debt with Sweat” Laws often do so for very different reasons.

“Those things are dangerous,” David Hernshaw, from Manitou, Wisconsin said, “Better them working than plotting to kill us all.”

“I think it’s really what’s best for them,” said Jennifer Billings from Portland, Oregon, “I mean. All the evidence says that hybrids need direction because they aren’t able to decide for themselves. Besides, I’d much rather be working in a field than cooped up in a lab.”

One group that still overwhelmingly opposes “Debt with Sweat” Laws are African Americans, with only 9% supporting such laws, 15% undecided, and 76% opposing.

“They said the same thing about us,” Melony Whittaker from Pensacola, Florida said. “If hybrids are intelligent enough to operate machines, they sure as hell are intelligent enough to understand money.”


The Wall Street Journal

Tuesday, May 8th, 1977

Congress Approves “Debt with Sweat” Study

After nearly eight hours of debate, the House narrowly approved the Senate’s, “Debt with Sweat” study, which will determine hybrids’ response to labor with compensation, labor without compensation, and no labor.

“The study is to understand the potential costs and benefits of such programs to both humans and hybrids,” House Majority Leader Kevin Burbank told reporters, “If these programs make hybrids a threat to humans—something my colleagues and I take very seriously—then they clearly cannot move forward. By the same token, the programs would also need to be reevaluated if they posed unexpected discomfort to the hybrids themselves.”

The Department for Supernatural Containment will carry out the study. Emily Campbell, Vice Director of the DSC, assured reporters that the hybrids—the oldest of whom is nearly five-- involved in the study will be performing age-appropriate labor.

“The goal of this study is to conduct research upon which the American people and their government will be able to make informed policy decisions concerning hybrids,” she said.


The Washington Post

Thursday, September 14th, 1978

Congress Passes Hybrids for America Act

Congress narrowly passed the “Hybrids for America Act,” which mandates that hybrids will carry out “Unskilled labor for the Federal Government that does not damage their well-being or threaten the safety of Americans.” The law also allows the Department for Supernatural Containment to breed new hybrids once the current generation reaches sexual maturity. President Jimmy Carter is expected to sign the bill into law Friday morning. 

Although the bill easily passed the Senate, many feared it would not survive the House, largely due to vigorous opposition to the bill from the Congressional Black Caucus.

“This is slavery, pure and simple,” said Angela Hays (D Florida), Chairwoman of the Caucus, “We’re talking about relegalizing slavery, and I’m not going to put my people back in chains.”

However, two members of the Caucus finally agreed to vote for the bill after the addition of a last minute of amendment saying that hybrids would not be bred from African American demon hosts.

“I understand why many of us would be disturbed by the image of black hybrids,” Larry Daniels (R Kansas), a member of the Caucus and an author of the amendment said, “I also know many of my constituents fear this bill would be used to re-enslave us, but that is not and would never have been the case. Still, I understand the power of images, so no African American will ever see a black hybrid working for them.”

“Representative Daniels is on the wrong side of history,” responded Representative Doug Kent (R Louisiana), another member of the Caucus, “Hybrids are not human, but that does not make this right.”

The bill had strong support among both Republicans (75%) and Democrats (60%). Once again, African American support of the bill is far lower than the national average (16%).


The Economist

Tuesday, January 15th, 1991

How Hybrids Are Saving American Industry

In 1976, American economists, politicians, and workers alike saw the terrifying writing on the wall: the age of American manufacturing had ended. Workers who had spent generations working in mines, mills, fields, and factories increasingly found their jobs outsourced or replaced by machines—neither of which require salaries, benefits, or adherence to labor laws.

“When I lost my factory job, it felt like my life had ended,” Logan Waldorp in Hartington, West Virginia explained, “I didn’t know how I could face my wife and our kids and tell them I didn’t know how to put food on the table anymore.”

It may well have been impossible for workers like Logan to find reliable work again . . . until the Department of Supernatural Containment (DSC) began partnering with companies in areas with high levels of job loss due to mechanization or outsourcing.

Now, nearly-dead factory towns are experiencing huge surges of growth centered around what economists are increasingly calling “the hybrid industry,” which involves the breeding and training hybrids as well as overseeing hybrid labor.

As unsalaried sub-humans with few labor regulations, hybrids are cheaper than outsourcing or automating most farming and manufacturing jobs.

Now, Larry is one of 50 employees overseeing hybrid labor in a factory that, just 18 months ago, he believed had been closed forever.

“We’re taking one of the greatest attacks on our freedom of all time and transforming it to save our economy,” Eric Harding, Director of the DSC Outreach Center in Hartington said, “That’s American ingenuity at work.”


The Atlantic

Thursday, April 17th, 2017

The Hybrid Boom

Once a last-ditch attempt to contain a devastating supernatural threat, many Economists now predict the hybrid industry will fuel a new wave of American economic growth.

“You have this massive, yet inexpensive labor pool that develops just as several key American industries are buckling under the weight of unsustainable labor costs,” explains Greg Stevens, Dean of the Harvard School of Economics. “All of a sudden, you have incentives for companies to keep their factories in the United States, for mines to keep running, for farms to still use non-mechanical labor. But you still need lots of human workers to manage the hybrids. Instead of losing jobs, workers are getting an upgrade—and often a pay raise.”

“In 1994, President Clinton announced the privatization of the entire hybrid market, which ushered in an economic revolution,” says Danica Hays, Dean of the Stanford School of Economics. “All of a sudden, you have all the big names—Walmart, Target, General Mills, and so on—buying up huge numbers of hybrids and creating aggressive breeding campaigns.”

“Hybrids are a billion-dollar industry by themselves,” says Renee Ellingsworth, President of Hybrid Solutions, which breeds hybrids for sale to mid-sized factories, farms, and industries. “For every hybrid we breed, we need humans to guard it, train it, find a buyer, package it, ship it, oversee its work, and handle the administrative end of all those tasks. Hybrids are unequivocally the future of the American economy.”

“The hybrid business is booming,” President Trump said in a press conference today, “It’s bringing jobs—good jobs, even better jobs than before—back to America. One day, no one, not a single person will open a door because there will be a good, obedient hybrid to do it for them.”