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When You’re Sober

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Colin was a good boy and anyone who said otherwise was either blind, stupid, or, on one very awkward instance, desperate. Even meeting Damian Wayne, the irrefutable demon of the bat-family, didn’t seem to hamper his innate ability to remain a 10 year old boy regardless of how old he actually was. However, friends eventually become family, and family comes home with you, at least from time to time, so it was only a matter of time until the redhead met a certain acrobat and, in Damian’s not so humble opinion, that was when everything began to go so, so wrong. Most of Grayson’s lewd comments and utterly ridiculous opinions seemed to roll of the innocent ginger like water, but time ticked and boys grew to men and, one completely normal and unremarkable afternoon, Colin turned twenty one years old and it took Dick all of several seconds upon finding out before he was planning what Damian was completely and utterly convinced was some sort of apocalypse.

Streamers, balloons, presents, cake; he had never seen a single individual gather so many supplies in a matter of two hours, though he was certain that Pennyworth was involved in some fashion. There were people and laughter and a very embarrassed birthday boy…and then there was the bar…

There was a terrible techno beat in the background of Damian’s mind and the entire place smelled generally of alcohol. Grayson was on the dance floor, pretending badly that he and West didn’t want to be pressed even closer than they already were, and Colin…Colin was wrapped around the scowling boy’s neck smelling like a liquor store after an earthquake with his chest pressed into that of his best friend and grinning that stupid, stupid grin of his which was only slightly lopsided from intoxication. The ginger was giggling slightly and staring into Damian’s eyes with a kind of unsettling curiosity that made the darker boy want to slip out of his friends grasp, but his options right now were to either discover some new way to phase through the wall at his back or to push the redhead off of him and, despite all his assassins training, Damian couldn’t bring himself to push Colin…he never could bring himself to push the other boy, even when he was being unbearably clingy like he was right now.

“Have your eyes always been this blue?”

He could barely hear the boy over the horrible music that the bar was blasting through cheap speakers and it was only after the words had firmly planted themselves in his mind that he pulled himself out of his thoughts on how to escape and what to do once he did and finally saw the boy in front of him. Colin’s face was so close and from this distance he could count even the smallest of his best friend’s freckles, even the little ones just underneath his eyes, but it was those eyes that really forced him to stop thinking, even for just a moment, and just be. They burned into his with a strange intensity he’d never seen in the redhead and it wasn’t until that moment that he realize just how many colors were in those irises. The deep chocolate browns and bits of gold and, if you looked just right, while the light was shining, flecks of green like crystal grass at the peak of summer and Damian stared until the other boy suddenly looked away, the freckles below his eyes fading slightly as the skin quickly picked up a tinge of red.

“I’m not sure I’m going to remember this tomorrow,” Colin slurred lazily, his eyes boring a hazy trail between himself and the tip of Damian’s nose, “So you’ll have to remember for me, ‘kay?”

Damian was about to respond there wasn’t exactly anything memorable for him to remind the other boy of tomorrow when he felt cool lips pressed against his own and saw those shimmering hazel eyes close oh so slowly. A nose brushed his own and he could feel the other boys bangs on his forehead and it was several more seconds until he even consciously realized that Colin was kissing him and the boy’s hands at the back of his neck where they had been this entire time were tracing small circles in the short hairs at the base of his skull and his mind was racing with thoughts about how he should stop this because they were both boys and they were best friends and Colin was intoxicated and, by god, Colin was supposed to be a good boy! But none of that seemed to matter to the dark boy’s hands as they slid up his friend’s sides and then around his back and he was holding on so tight and he didn’t even know why, but he was and then, for what may have been the first time in his life, Damian Wayne told his rational mind to shut up and he finally, finally kissed back.

It was short and not exactly elegant, Damian had no idea what he was doing and Colin was quite obviously less than coordinated at this particular moment, but when the redhead pulled back and Damian sucked in a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding he could have sworn he saw that stupid grin plaster itself on his friend’s face. Colin’s forehead bumped lightly against his own, the boy’s skin flushed and warm before he slid across past his temple and rested his face in the crook between Damian’s neck and shoulder, sighing softly.

“I love you, Damian Wayne…”

His words were muffled by Damian’s shirt when he tried to speak and Damian was moments away from dismissing them as a trick of awful music that was still bombarding his ears in this stupid place that Grayson had convinced them was the only place to finish Colin’s “big day” until the arms around his neck tightened to the point of almost being painful and he felt the other boy shudder, his collar suddenly warm and wet and his voice shaky when he continued.

“I love you so, so much.”

Without thinking his arms around the ginger tightened, holding him up when he threatened to curl in on himself and when he discovered that he couldn’t he settled for shaking against the solid form that was holding him up, his head sliding back and forth like he was trying to deny what he’d just done.

“I know…”

The words left Damian’s mouth without his meaning to and it wasn’t until that moment that he realized exactly how much he did know. How for over ten years this was the only other person that he had ever let see him at his lowest, the only other person who knew the terror that sometimes raced behind his eyes when he was just Damian, not Damian Wayne or Robin the boy wonder, but just Damian. He moved one hand to pull the head up from his shoulder with some resistance, looking deep into those hazel eyes, still shining and moist and slightly red and a small part of him broke at the sight.

“I know.” He whispered, this time so much more sure than he realized he could be on such a matter, and he tipped his head forward until their lips pressed together again.

He felt a tear streak past his cheek and the redhead hiccuped into the kiss, a small whine slipping from the boy’s mouth around the corner of his own. It was just a press of lips on lips, Damian wasn’t even sure what to do beyond that but he was rather certain that right now was not the time to figure it out so he simply pressed against the other boy and hoped that he was doing something right.

“You,” Colin sniffled as they pulled away from one another, “you know what?”

“I’ll tell you when you’re sober,” Damian replied, trying to keep his voice within the spectrum of his normal vague anger but even to his own ears it sounded strained and tinged with what he could only assume was the terror of things unknown that was slowly slipping into his mind as the events of the night hit him full force.

“You’ll remember for me?” Colin muttered, his voice easily giving away the exhaustion that his now slack form was just as willing to tell as he slumped back into Damian’s shoulder, nuzzling the still slightly damp cloth there and letting out a ragged breath.

“Yeah,” Damian breathed out, pressing his nose into the top of the other boy’s head and taking a deep breath of citrus and summer breezes and that smell of sun on skin that was distinctly Colin, “Yeah…I’ll remember for you…”

Across the bar a certain redhead with a goofy smile plastered on his face whispered down to the head of black hair belonging to the boy who was rocking ever so slowly against him despite the fast techno beat blaring in the background.

“Looks like Damian finally caught on,” and Wally felt the other boy grin into his shirt before looking up at him.

“How hard do you think he’ll punch me if I tell him we have matching boyfriends?” Dick said in response, his blue eyes sparkling beneath the flashing lights and Wally’s chuckle was a deep rumble in his chest as he held the other man a little bit closer.