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Death is Not Recomended

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My day got exciting when I heard my family and I were going skydiving. At first I thought that was ridiculous because my family isn't exactly rich and I have three brothers who do not deserve any kindness they get considering the youngest one is an eight year old brat who not only talks to himself but can't speak correctly or do anything for himself. Then there's my older brother who can't go a day without trying to beat the snot out of me only to cry himself to sleep while sobbing to his seventh girlfriend in two years. When I learned that my grandpa on my step-dad's side of the family set everything up, it all made sense. Don't get me wrong he's a good guy for a retired drill sergeant, but he's just too generous for a sixty year old.

On the way there my brothers, as per usual were picking on me while, of course grandpa "saw" nothing and completely ignored everything that was happening less than a foot away from him. By the time we got to the plane I was ready to push my brothers out with no warning and face the consequences. As we were getting on the plane after the explanations the man who gave me my parachute smiled weirdly and said, "You will thank me later."

The hell

Putting that aside my brothers were actually half decent once we were in the air and listened to the instructor's directions on the recommended time to pull our parachutes. Finally, we were in line to jump when my little brother who, needed to be strapped to my older said, "It feels like real life Fortnite," which caused me, who was thankfully last in the line and wanted this trip to be as perfect as possible, push him and my older brother out the door before any thing else could be said positive or not.

Just as I was about to fall the instructor grabbed my shoulder to say that if I ever did that again I would be banned. Me being the smartass that I am said, "Sir I don't expect to ever have the chance to skydive again," and before he could say anything else fell backwards while giving a two finger salute.

The feeling of falling backwards with my hands behind me head was great and I felt like I could've been a bird with how graceful it seemed. When I finally felt like there was something important to do like paying attention to my altitude I decided to flip and try to find my family who, I was surprisingly close to and fell into a nose dive to try and get closer so I wouldn't have to walk to far with the chute dragging me away. As I was about to reach them my older brother pulled the cord to his parachute while I was close enough to slam into it face first and knock me away while laughing like a mad man as I spiraled into his view.

When I righted myself enough to realize that the ground was getting very close I panicked and tried pulling my cord.

WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT SLOWING DOWN.

After trying to release my lifeline four times I remembered "You will thank me later." That bastard gave me an empty bag, for a parachute. Was he trying to kill me specifically or was it just some random choice out of the group. Before I had time to think about the truth everything went dark with a sickening crunch.