Shion, I want to see you.
I want to hear your voice.
I’m afraid to see you the way I am now, but…
I want to see you, more than anything.
I want my voice to reach you.
Her mind was a lot clearer now than it had been before the voice had pulled her up. But before then, and even now, those thoughts were strongest in her mind.
She knew now. She knew the truth about the city, the place they’d grown up in. She knew of its horrors behind closed doors. The monster below the surface had stirred, and she knew its true nature.
And yet, it was the place of her memories, the people most precious to her.
She treasured those memories, knowing that they would never be able to go back to them or to make new ones. She knew that now, too. If only she could see Shion just one more time, hear his voice and have her voice reach him. That was all she wanted.
Before the voice, she had been drifting in and out of consciousness. Her thoughts had blurred, and she had sunk into a sea of dreams where everything was a haze. No up and no down, just her thoughts floating in nothingness. As always, there was one thing she could still see clearly in her mind, and that was Shion’s figure.
Once, and only once, had she allowed herself to imagine a different future. One where she would still confess her feelings to Shion, one where he would confess to feel the same. Her imagination didn’t come up with something earth-shattering, just that smile Shion used to give her and the words she had quietly hoped to hear in response.
But then, of course, he wouldn’t have been the Shion she had known over the last years.
There had always been someone she had never seen who occupied his thoughts, someone who decidedly wasn’t her, and it stung. She couldn’t help it. She knew perfectly well how the human brain worked, what processes and hormones had caused these feelings inside her, but that didn’t mean she felt them any less.
She was only human, after all. Or, well. Had been, anyway.
She tried picturing herself smiling at the halfhearted joke, but even in the picture, the smile was wry. It was another truth she had learnt, earlier, unwilling to accept.
I don’t want you to see me like this, yet still…
‘More than anyone, you wish to see him.’
She didn’t hesitate. Yes.
‘I will grant your wish.’
Shion believed in her, until the very end.
And so her voice reached him, and he reached her at last.
It should have been enough.