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Changkyun has caught Jooheon flirting with this girl three times now. Changkyun is sure it's the same girl, as his gaze on her might put a laser-hole right through her forehead. Of course, she doesn't notice. She steps out of the elevator, nods politely, and Jooheon waves her goodbye as the doors close back up; leaving the two rappers of Monsta X in a little cubicle of solitude. They're on the way to Jooheon's studio to look over new beats, but Changkyun's mind has drifted...

"You know you can't actually bang her," he remarks. It's something that's flown out of his mouth without thinking, and he partially regrets letting it slip. But he also kind of doesn't. So whatever.

"I know," the elder rapper replies; his eyes on the metallic doors as they open, to let them out to the correct floor.

"Then why are you torturing yourself?"

Jooheon scoffs, already annoyed at the topic of their sudden new chat. "I can't even flirt now?"

"Not what I meant. I'm not management."

Jooheon looks at him for a moment, with a furrowed brow however.

"So what did you mean then?"

"Uh, I didn't mean anything. Forget it. It was only an observation."

And for some reason Jooheon's brow furrows even deeper. As he settles down into his desk chair, and Changkyun takes the couch at the back, it feels like there's a gaping wound in his chest suddenly and he's willing to twist the knife further—

"You know what's unfair? The fact that you got the green light to release raunchy-ass songs, while I have to still be a good boy for our image."

This sudden confession—or was it an assault of some kind?—throws Changkyun for a loop. "Pardon? What did you write that got rejected?"


The way he says it though, makes Changkyun think otherwise, so he presses on. "Did you actually write something that they didn't immediately  love?" He feels bad asking, since Jooheon has suddenly hidden his face. Was it embarrassment? "Everyone loves everything you touch. It's like you've got Midas' touch or something—" Somehow the more Changkyun speaks though, to try and fix whatever blunder he's stepped into, only makes  Jooheon feel worse. "What's wrong? Tell me. Did you write something, you know, provocative?"

Jooheon's face is entirely hidden, so Changkyun doesn't completely understand; but the taller rapper does nod, so that's some kind of answer  thankfully. "You did?—When?"

"I was horny and wanted a fuck and this beat wouldn't leave me."

"Okk..." Changkyun drags out the word. "But that doesn't explain why they'd reject the song."

"Uh. I was kind of... in the mood, when I did the guide track."

"Wait!—there's a guide and you didn't show me?" Jooheon bites his lip to indicate yes. "But you showed management?" Changkyun's voice raises. He's  incredulous. He feels betrayed actually.

"I don't know..." Jooheon defends. It's a weak excuse if any. "I was kind of drunk too."

Now Changkyun's eyebrows really fly into his hair.

"You were drunk and recorded a sex song?!"

When Changkyun says it like that, maybe it's not that bad after all. The awed expression on his face makes Jooheon think this is funny now; as he peeks out from behind a cage of nervous fingers, his  embarrassment eases into a reluctant, "Maybe~"

He receives a slap across the shoulder.

"I can't believe it! I want to hear it!"

But Jooheon panics from this again—"What!? No!"

"Why on Earth not? I show you all mine."

"This is not a dick competition!"

"Ew. That's not what I meant—"

"—Then say what you mean!" Jooheon is getting huffy again. Frustrated that he's had to admit this. He had wanted to keep this one song a bit private, scope out if it was good enough to release. Because he'd only let this thing see the light of day if it was actually good. God forbid he'd write a raunchy sex song and it was bad—he'd have to dig himself a hole and die there if that was the case. So no, he hadn't shown  the members. He'd shown two producers and that's it. It was bad enough that he'd shown them.

And then they had the talk—there was no way this level of sex was good for his career. It was downright dirty and an immediate no. But  they told him to keep it and work with it, make it more mild...

Jooheon buried it instead and wallowed in his shame however.

Now he was a fool who let it slip to Changkyun.

And Changkyun being Changkyun, who's a little too curious for his own good—always has been—well, Changkyun is chewing the inside of his cheek, probably painfully hard. He seems to be thinking over whatever the wants to say. Jooheon knows he does this when there's stuff he wants to not say and say at the same time. Something he needs to just come clean about.

He waits. Raises eyebrows at him. The seconds drag on.

Just when he thinks their conversation is over, Changkyun takes his shoulder and says, "Show me. Please."

There's a funny look in his eyes that Jooheon doesn't understand. It reminds him that sometimes there are these darker looks that cloud Changkyun's vision, something he can't place, something ephemeral that prickles; but the way Changkyun looks is captivating.

Jooheon tries to joke it off.

"My sex song?"

"Show me your sex song," Changkyun replies. It's steady. Confident. Urgent almost. He shouldn't be so steady when saying something that sounds  so... wrong. Icky.

Jooheon pulls a face.

That look Changkyun is giving him is making him uncomfortable, and the easiest way to get him off his back is to turn around and look for this bloody song he should have never recorded. He flips though folders on his computer for a minute before finally finding it. He doesn't feel like seeing Changkyun's face again, so he just says, "Here it is. Last chance to back out. I'm warning you."

"Show me." Changkyun's voice is surprisingly low. Like gravel, and it scrapes down Jooheon's spine.

He clicks play.

At first there's static on the record. And then moans fill the air in the studio—fuck, Jooheon had forgotten exactly how bad this thing was. He hides his face, even if his back is already turned to Changkyun. Jooheon's heavy breathing and moans as he jacked off that night give way into soft murmured lyrics. If you want to, I want you, the lyrics say. Get closer to me, climb up on top of me. Bury me. Get wet for me. Lick me once and twice and swallow me. If you want to know me, then undress for me.

Jooheon was right. These lyrics are lewd. Changkyun is at the edge of his seat, trying to keep up with both the nasty shit Jooheon is saying and the continued sounds of his moaning that now make up part of the middle notes.

It keeps building. Jooheon's voice used to be soft. It's getting rougher. There's more of a growl to his tone. Changkyun wonders if he was free-styling this when he recorded it. He can imagine Jooheon sitting right there in his studio chair, like he is right now, knees bent and feet propped up on the desk; one hand fisting himself, the other holding a mic, moaning and getting higher for the recording. This song might have been one long take which Jooheon cut down later.

He keeps listening. The bridge of the song consists of literally Jooheon jacking off, and the rap that follows is ferocious like a climax—

See how close we are? Keep it like this. Don't change. Don't talk. Don't ruin what we are. The depth of us is this. That material taut in between your legs between. The depth of you is how deep you are for me. Come for me.

And no matter how much Changkyun had been built up, wanting to hear Jooheon come, this crescendo isn't as satisfying as he imagined. Don't get him wrong, the song is killer, but Jooheon is basically saying the depth of the relationship in this song is as thin as her underwear and how deep he can fuck her. And this makes Changkyun think of the girl in the elevator that he knows Jooheon likes.

He's angry and jealous by the end of Jooheon's song, and though it's ended for a minute now, neither is interested in turning around to actually talk; and even more reluctant to see each other. Changkyun is fuming.

For one, Jooheon's sex song is like the better version of all the lewd shit Changkyun writes. And two, it makes it starkly clear that the relationships they're both singing about are cheap and empty. He doesn't mind this about himself; but to hear it from Jooheon is disappointing. He doesn't understand why, but it just is. Jooheon is worth more than an empty fuck. This feeling of sadness actually crawls down his throat and yet, he can't help asking, "So the girl in the elevator. Is she the one?" His tone is confrontational but isn't exactly level as he forms the words.

"Doesn't matter."

"But you like her."

"Yeah, I like her. What's it to you?"

This is what hurts Changkyun the most—Jooheon doesn't care. He can taste it in his mouth practically. Jooheon just wants a fuck, not a relationship. It's not right. It's just not how it's supposed to be. Jooheon is special... Jooheon is...

Better than Changkyun. He fucking wants to cry right now.

Jooheon whirls his chair around and catches Changkyun with glassy eyes. That's not the expected reaction to a sex song.

"Uh. What's wrong?"

"Burn the song. Never release it."

Jooheon scoffs. "But you can?"

"Please," Changkyun begs. This is becoming decidedly strange behavior and Jooheon's eyebrows knit.

"Tell me why. Wasn't the rap actually good?"

"It was good. That's not the issue. It's the... the—um."

"The message? The topic? Like all the rest of our managers say? That I should be a fucking saint or something?"

Yes. Changkyun tears his eyes away. When he looks at the floor, elbows on his knees, he feels utterly defeated. What was happening right now? Why does this affect him so much?

"Ok, now you're really gonna have to explain what this is about. Are you crying?"

"No." Just almost. "Jooheon—just... You're you. Ok? Don't say those kind of things."

"I'm not supposed to get horny like every other person on the planet?"

"No, it's—it's... Do you actually want those things?" Changkyun finally looks up at him, halfway into words that were previously mush. Now the intensity of his gaze feels like a slap to the face.

Jooheon swallows. "Yes, I want a girlfriend sometime before I'm 30, thank you very much."

"No. I mean, do you want that stuff in your song? Do you want such an empty relationship?"

This isn't something Jooheon has given much thought to. Honestly, it never crossed his mind that the casual fuck he wanted was empty, as Changkyun put it. It's just not that deep. He wanted it to be easy and uncomplicated. Hmm. Maybe that's the same thing as empty. But to make it worse, he really doesn't understand the fire in Changkyun's eyes right now. Like he's being burned with disappointment. And from a younger member too. Jooheon is older, he doesn't deserve this shit—"You write the same thing," he accuses.

"I don't matter."

It flies so easily off Changkyun's tongue. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Changkyun bites a lip and slips off the couch, onto his knees. With a hand he pulls at Jooheon's knee and the elder rapper rolls closer to him. Why is Changkyun on the floor between this knees?

Their eyes catch and Changkyun looks raw. Devastated.

"You—you deserve actual love."

The words linger in the thick atmosphere between them.

It's choking Jooheon as he looks down at Changkyun. Can't stand the way his fingers are digging into his knees. He wants to be angry. That's his first reaction. Why was he being held on a stupid pedestal? Sex is sex. He can find love another time.

But the more he looks into Changkyun's eyes, he sees the guilt and desperation in them. He doesn't understand still, but it makes his heart soft. Enough that maybe he'll swallow his anger and not yell. Instead, he places a hand in Changkyun's hair and pushes back the strands. He sighs. Is it comforting if he does this? Changkyun looks broken and he shouldn't be. It doesn't make any sense.

"What's wrong?" Jooheon says. Way too long after Changkyun's last words. The younger rapper's head is resting on Jooheon's knee now, playing with the rips in the other knee of Jooheon's pants, as Jooheon still runs fingers through his hair lightly.

"I don't want you making the same mistakes I make. It doesn't feel good."

He knows he shouldn't joke about Changkyun's confession. He knows how deep it actually touches inside his heart to hear Changkyun speak so sincerely, but for the sake of keeping things light, he can't help replying with sarcasm. "You're my mommy now?"

"You should have love. Real love, whatever that is."

"You're getting unnecessarily deep about this. It's just a stupid song. I was horny."

"Jooheon. No..." Changkyun meets his eyes again, and there's at least a tear down Changkyun's cheek already. He comes closer, up off his knees and cages Jooheon in his chair when he places his weight on the armrests. "Don't fuck her. Please."

This makes Jooheon shrink. His voice is less steady as he once again has to look at the intensity in Changkyun's eyes. The boy gets so weird sometimes. Too serious. Too wrapped up in details. "W-why not?"

"You don't love her. Be with someone you love. Ok? Promise me." And it feels like a stab in the heart to be given such an ultimatum, so close, so desperately. Changkyun is that close to him now. He can see his chest rise and fall with each panting breath, can almost feel the puffs of air from his mouth, can see so closely the slight tremble of his lips.

Jooheon has no idea what to say. He feels his chest in a vice to be seeing Changkyun this way. They don't talk this candidly. They're close, so close, but this is too much. The younger is invading Jooheon's hopes and dreams, all the dark corners of his insecurities, and all the things people keep locked away. Even from themselves. So Jooheon's mouth is dry as he looks back right at Changkyun's lips.

There's no one in the world that would be so bold as to act this way right now. No one who cares enough to cry for him. And so the longer Changkyun hovers this way, in his face, getting imperceptibly closer, Jooheon feels antsy, jittery. Uncomfortable and exposed, and so he grabs Changkyun by the front of the shirt so that at least he's not hovering, and pulls him to sit in his lap; and this way he can wrap him in his arms and hug him. Because Changkyun is crazy and wild, but he cares so much.

And that makes him pretty special to Jooheon. As the younger lays his temple on Jooheon's shoulder, Jooheon pets down his back and holds him steady on his lap. He wonders if Changkyun is going through his own heartbreak. Maybe that's why he's breaking down right now about this topic.

"P-promise me, Jooheon," Changkyun sobs into his shoulder. Jooheon can no longer see his face.

He's being asked to give up flighty trysts and sex with acquaintances—the stuff idols live on besides their own right hand. He sighs. He doesn't think it through, but because Changkyun wants this from him so much—this is how he gives his heart away.

"Someone I love. I promise," he replies finally. And seals it with a kiss to Changkyun's hair.


A week later, he's in the elevator by himself this time, on his way to his studio again. The girl he likes catches the same ride with him, and Changkyun's words come back to him like a ton of bricks to his chest. He can't even look at her this time. He swallows thickly instead, holding his breath and deliberately avoiding her gaze, until she gets off and he knows she's disappointed at his behavior; but Jooheon's mind is suddenly full of Changkyun crying.

They had ended up talking so intimately that time, that it still surprises Jooheon to be able to dive that deep and then resurface for air. Their moment is still vivid on Jooheon's heart. He remembers it and thinks he could have drowned that day.

He gave away a part of himself when he made that promise. He hasn't been able to look at Changkyun the same way since then. And even though he's been back to his studio a number of times this week, he keeps starting his work by listening to Changkyun's mixtape.

The more he listens to it, the more he hears all the things he didn't hear that night between the two of them. Changkyun doesn't care about the girl in this song. His voice is flippant and his words dismissive; and it's nothing like how he'd so genuinely looked at Jooheon and cried on his knee, on his shoulder. He held him so tight and Jooheon held him back. And he's starting to think he hates Changkyun's mixtape. Even more than before.

This is trash. He wants to yell at him to never make this kind of crap again. It has no soul. It's just broken and empty. And he shouldn't fill his heart with these kinds of useless relationships...

Changkyun had said this same thing to him, hadn't he?


He can't stand being in his studio today. He feels his skin crawling. He tries working and it all goes to shit, so it's better to just go pick up food and head home. A wasted day.



Changkyun is naked, lying horizontally on his bed so his head is nearly falling off the edge, and his feet are propped on the wall. His eyes are closed, lip bitten between his teeth, with one hand feeling over his chest and the other wrapped around his dick. His moans are soft and muffled as he tries to keep them in. He's thinking of Jooheon and it's all because of that stupid song last week. No matter how much he despises it, he hasn't been able to scrub it off his mind...

That's how Jooheon finds him.

"Yo. You didn't hear me yelling?—Oh." When he rounds the corner and actually sees Changkyun—a spark shoots though him. He freezes. But Changkyun makes no change, and Jooheon can't help staring for a moment. Changkyun is naked, pleasuring himself out in the open, and though Jooheon has seen him naked a million times... Well, this is new. But since Changkyun isn't bothering to stop after Jooheon enters, Jooheon swallows his discomfort and just closes the door behind himself. He makes his way further into the bedroom as if they're about to chat normally. "Uh. What the hell are you doing?"

"Jacking off."

"With your feet on the wall? Kihyun is going to kill you."

"What Kihyun doesn't know is good for him."

Jooheon decides to sit on the floor at the edge of Changkyun's bed, with his head resting backwards on the mattress, right beside Changkyun's. He's facing away from whatever the younger is doing, but their heads are nearly touching.

Yes, it's weird. But Jooheon's mind is in a blender from his unproductive trip to the studio, so what he wants most now is just Changkyun's company.

He makes idle chatter. "I brought food home. I texted Hoseok about it. Told him it's on me today."

"Yeah? That's nice of you," Changkyun replies. His voice is breathy and low. Almost dreamy. Though Jooheon can't see him, it's obvious he's still touching himself. He has no idea why he finds this comforting right now, but he tries to keep their conversation light.

"Yeah, I felt like it. I thought of what you said, and thought that I love you assholes, so I should feed you properly." The explanation ends up with an unintentionally dirty connotation and Changkyun chuckles. But also moans, and lets Jooheon hear it finally.

This might be like when Changkyun had heard Jooheon jack off in his secret song. Maybe it's not that different listening to Changkyun now. Jooheon inhales deeply to settle his heart.

It's so lazy and casual when Jooheon asks him, "You feel good right now?" Because they've been stuck in a limbo all week, ever since they'd listened to Jooheon's sex song, and Changkyun had cried. It feels like they're cocooned around each other, that they can't possibly get any closer, so if they talk this openly, it's the same thing and it's ok.

"I feel warm. I'm glad you're home." It seems to mean that he's glad Jooheon is here with him, and Jooheon understands this somehow.

"I'm glad I'm home too," he sighs. Then waits, and just listens for Changkyun's breathing. If he feels good, then Jooheon will feel good too. The sounds that escape his throat as he pleasures himself are getting louder, and Jooheon finds that he loves it. There's a disconnect in his mind between what's appropriate and this new world they've stepped into.

So when Changkyun whines, Jooheon places a hand in his hair and cards his fingers through the locks, pushing the damp parts off his forehead. It makes Changkyun shudder and groan, vocal about how much he likes being touched. Jooheon's cheek comes to rest against his, upside down, and presses him near with his other hand wrapped around to his other cheek; and this way Changkyun's whimpers reverberate throughout the room and through Jooheon's body too.

"I love you, you know that?"

"I love you too," Jooheon answers, eyes closed. And he holds Changkyun's head as the younger's orgasm breaks. Jooheon can feel his tension, and his tremors, and his hitched breaths that arrest his body. And then the calm and his sweet whimpers as he drifts into his afterglow. He feels peace being here with him. Feels his pleasure as if it were his own, and needs the same amount of rest to recover afterwards.

It's Changkyun who speaks first. "I need a shower," he says as he tumbles to a normal sitting position and slicks his hair backwards. "Wait for me and we'll eat together?"

Jooheon nods.

As Changkyun showers, Jooheon crawls into Changkyun's bed and dozes off. It's comfortable.

Then he gets dragged to the kitchen by the youngest, who's wearing a loose pair of sweatpants now. It's Changkyun that serves Jooheon's food to him, as Jooheon stares at walls.

"You feel ok?" Changkyun asks. He can see Jooheon is spacing out.

"Maybe," Jooheon replies, because the real answer is still a tangled mess in his head. "I was at the studio today and I officially hate your mixtape."

Changkyun laughs. "Yeah?"

"Have you stopped fucking random chicks yet?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I'll think about it."

"I stopped," Changkyun confesses nonetheless. It just rolls off his tongue as if he were talking about the weather.


"Last week."

Jooheon pretends to find his rice bowl fascinating. But Changkyun, even by his air—because Jooheon can't see the smirk on his face—seems to enjoy the perversity of what he's just said. Hmm.

When a frown appears on Jooheon's face, Changkyun chuckles. "Don't hurt your head thinking about it. Just eat. Your food is getting cold."


They fall asleep spooned around each other that night, in the younger's bed. Jooheon's nose buried into his neck. It's comfortable here where Changkyun holds him.


The fog lifts eventually, but the moments they share get closer.

Jooheon spoons Changkyun often. They shower together more often. Smile together. Changkyun teases him and takes his hand and touches himself with the other.

"Dirty," Jooheon tells him. But he loves the way Changkyun's eyes sparkle when he does naughty shit.

Until one day when Changkyun takes him by the wrist and leads him to his own studio. The hallway towards Changkyun's studio is longer, in a more remote part of their company building. The soundproofing and acoustics are better because it's a newer studio than Jooheon's. As they enter, Jooheon knows Changkyun is planning something. He goes straight for the workstation but doesn't sit down. He turns on a few programs and then hands Jooheon a mic, and pushes him to sit on the couch.

"You want me to record something today?"

"You got it."

But he doesn't say more. Instead, he starts shedding clothing and drops articles all around Jooheon. As the elder rapper waits, and watches with wide eyes as more and more of Changkyun's skin comes into view, he becomes more amused by the audacious scene before him. Until Changkyun is standing between his knees, nude and hard and looking into his eyes; and Jooheon would be surprised, but he's seen Changkyun erect a dozen times by now. "You wanna make raunchy music?" Changkyun asks.

A smile creeps up the corners of Jooheon's mouth. "Maybe?"

"Then come up with lyrics."

"Right now?"

"Right now," Changkyun confirms, and takes hold of himself, right there, less than a meter from Jooheon's face. Jooheon chuckles, but starts off with a beatbox that mirrors the movement of Changkyun's hand fisting himself. He's looking at nothing else except Changkyun right now. Shit, maybe he's never been exactly this close to Changkyun's hard dick, not as he touches himself. But it's right there, so close he can touch it, if he bends he can lick it, and if not, then he can just admire it. It has an appealing shape that for some reason reminds Jooheon of Changkyun's pretty legs, and it looks soft, and there's a bead of shine at the tip, and the color is a dusty pink... He swallows thickly and tries to keep it together, but his beatbox skips a few bars. "Keep going," Changkyun reminds him. Though he steals a peek up to his face, Jooheon's gaze returns right back to his dick and watching Changkyun tug himself. He looks like he's chasing to come for real, keeps putting pressure on his frenulum as he swirls over the head; and intentionally or not, it makes Jooheon's mouth feel like it's stuffed with cotton. He can't keep watching and beatbox at the same time.

"Boooo," Changkyun scoffs. "You're no fun."

"I can't help it—when you—"

"Fine. Change of plans. Open your pants."

"What?!" Jooheon's eyes bug out. What's supposed to happen? They don't touch each other, that's not really a thing. Changkyun is just a bit of an exhibitionist...

"Fucksake," Changkyun eye-rolls, and drops down to his knees and unzips Jooheon's fly for him. He wastes no time in getting past his underwear too, pulls everything down and wraps a hand around Jooheon's length—What the fuck.

"—Wait," the elder cries; but even though his hands are oddly cautionary, in mid-air, he doesn't actually stop Changkyun. He's at half-mast anyway, and Changkyun rubs him to full hardness in a matter of seconds. Shit. It's good. Seeing Changkyun kneeling between his legs like this is even better.

"Start recording something good and I'll give you a present," Changkyun says, impish smile on his lips as he looks up at Jooheon.

He doesn't dare to hope for a blowjob, but he also... totally does. So he's got one hand on the mic and the other in Changkyun's hair, petting him, as he thinks of some kind of lyrics.

"Put your head on my knee. Cry with me. You know what's in my heart 3, 2, 1, before me," he tries. And Changkyun smiles with him. "Don't leave me, take me. Please me. You're so dear to me."

Changkyun grants his wish when he dips to lick at the head of Jooheon's erection. "—Fuck!" Jooheon swears, uncontrolled. Can't believe what's happening right now. But he rolls with it, turning it into his lyrics. He free-styles another verse about how much he likes what the younger is doing to his dick right now and Changkyun looks pleased. So instead of licking him like a lollipop, he drags his tongue down the length to coat him in saliva and it makes his hand slip easier along the shaft. It's filthy to watch Changkyun do this so slowly and deliberately. And worse to not stop him. But that doesn't matter right now. It's just the two of them. And Jooheon wants him to keep going.

Changkyun doesn't tease him for long. As soon as Jooheon has a tune going, he's got him stuffed in his mouth and moaning around him, making chaos for the background of this track. The way he sucks makes Jooheon's vocals skip, but he keeps mumbling lyrics as best he can; stuff about how good Changkyun feels, how he should never stop, how he should get tighter, take him in and keep him there, in his heart where Jooheon wants to be.

The mews and choked sounds Changkyun makes are lewd. And his tongue is skilled, Jooheon can't even imagine why, but seeing how into this Changkyun is, with spit dripping down his chin and the pained sobs he lets out when he nearly gags on Jooheon's dick—it makes him want to be so good to Changkyun in return. For the rest of his lyrics, he's nearly crying, begging, "Let me love you," and he can't even look at Changkyun anymore.

The younger pauses, kisses his thigh, and lets Jooheon's emotions recover until he can get back into the song. When he sucks him back this time, Jooheon falls into a chorus, and Changkyun encourages him to fuck his mouth in a similar rhythm. Whatever parts he can't come up with lyrics for, he goes back to beatboxing, and slowly adjusts to rolling into the heat of Changkyun's mouth. He realizes that with each sound, Changkyun is copying him and it feels like he's controlling his movements. Changkyun even moans on cue.

Until Jooheon is so high and he's just repeating the same line that falls into moans too...

"Sing, Jooheon," Changkyun advises strongly. It's not so much a suggestion as a warning that if he doesn't, Changkyun might stop sucking him. Shit.

Jooheon tries, he does. But as he looks back into Changkyun's eyes, he feels his heart in tatters.

"Love me and seal this for me. Love me and keep me—" But the rest is cut off by the white heat of his climax, which he spills into Changkyun's waiting mouth. He shudders and yet Changkyun drinks everything from him, his velvet tongue guiding him, throat tightening around his head when he swallows, and humming around him to show his approval. Jooheon is tremoring by the end, uneasy as he falls into his afterglow, not sure how he should feel about this but knowing exactly how he does feel. He wants Changkyun closer. He makes grabby hands to him and Changkyun crawls into his lap, draping his naked body all over Jooheon and this settles the older. Having Changkyun in his arms feels the best.

Changkyun takes the mic from him and whispers into it and into Jooheon's ear. "You wanna do it again sometime?"

Jooheon nods. He feels overwhelmed and his heart feels full. As he closes his eyes and his heartrate settles back down, he just touches all over Changkyun's skin. The younger is soft and warm, like a security blanket.

They don't pay attention to how long they wait this way. But Jooheon has nearly dozed off by the time Changkyun wiggles in his lap and whispers to him again. "Wanna watch me come?"

His first response is a deep, satisfied groan, and then a nod, and so Changkyun drags his head off Jooheon's shoulder to look him in the eyes again. "Show me," Jooheon nods to him, as if he's woken from a thousand years of sleep. He helps Changkyun straddle his lap properly, pulls his thighs close, groin tight over his own. It's the best when Changkyun is near, and so Changkyun takes hold of himself as Jooheon watches.

With a lip bitten between his teeth, his whimpers and moans still escape, and with his eyes locked on Jooheon's he comes powerfully into his own hand. Then waits to catch his breath as Jooheon breathes with him.

A few more moments later, the kind of moments that bind two souls—and Changkyun's naughty smile is back on his face. He smears his come all down Jooheon's t-shirt, in a glorious hand-print that can't be confused for anything else but come.

 "You're nasty," Jooheon tells him, but he's laughing too.

"Keep the shirt," Changkyun winks.

The heaviness of the atmosphere is broken, and a kind of normal returns as they re-dress. And then Changkyun packs away their music and settles back into Jooheon's arms.

"Do you feel better?" he asks.

"Do you feel better?"

Changkyun chuckles. "I asked you first."

"Don't make me sing next time."

Changkyun just scoffs and hits him in the shoulder.


They wake up one morning, with Jooheon spooned around Changkyun and it feels so good Jooheon thinks there's nothing better in the whole world.

"What can I do to you?"


"Wanna get off with you. What do you wanna do?"

"Oh," Changkyun catches up. Then shrugs. "Anything."

Jooheon thinks for a moment. Really considers if this is a good time to bring this up. "Hmm. Can I touch you?"

But Changkyun laughs. "I think you can do a little more than that."

"More than that?"

"We can do anything. I want to."


"Don't make me say cheesy shit again. Just do what you want to me," Changkyun groans and then flips over so they're finally face to face. The younger has bright morning eyes, and a lip between his teeth already, now that he's looking Jooheon right in the eye.

"You're not shy?"

"Am I ever?" Changkyun asks, and makes the first move by taking Jooheon's nape and drawing him so near they're breathing on each other. "Kiss me."

"Morning breath," Jooheon protests with a smile.

But Changkyun doesn't listen and pecks him on the mouth anyway.