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Come As You Are

Summary:

His mind kept wandering back to that stupid quiz and the unwelcome feeling that he wasn’t enough. That maybe Wade wasn’t getting his needs met, and that maybe Peter was being selfish for hating the idea of Wade seeking out anyone else. Even if it was just sex.
That was something people did right? Just have sex for the sake of it? No feelings or emotions attached?
He dropped down a block away from where he’d ditched his clothing and waited until he could return to the alley and retrieve them. It was late. He just wanted to be at home and warm and curled up with Wade. He could think about the rest later.


Despite the excerpt, this fic does have a lot of fluff and lighthearted moments as well, I promise.


A deep dive into Asexuality and something of a character study.

Notes:

FBiNS is back, baby! With fresh Spideypool and me working through some stuff with my own asexuality.
Friendly reminder that asexuality, like any other sexuality, is different for different people. There is no one "right way" to be any sort of identity.

 

And Peter is considerably more sex-favorable than I personally am. *shrug*

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Come as you are, as you were
As I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend
As a known enemy

— Come As You Are, Nirvana

 

 

Peter called May the second they left The Tower.

 

“Peter?” Hell. She sounded like she'd been crying.

 

“Yeah, hi Aunt May. Uh. I'm back.”

 

“What?” she sniffed.

 

He grabbed a hold of Wade's hand and held on tightly as they walked back to their apartment. “You know how I said time was weird where we went?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. As far as Earth is concerned, I was gone for less than two minutes.”

 

“You left Earth?”

 

Peter winced from her high pitched tone. “I did, but not in the way that you're picturing.”

 

Wade squeezed his hand and Peter had the feeling that it would be some time before his boyfriend would willingly let him out of his sight.

 

“But on the plus side, I can come see you tomorrow like we'd planned.”

 

Aunt May was quiet for a moment. “And you'll tell me all about what happened today?”

 

“Yeah, I will. I promise.”

 

* * *

 

Wade had curled himself around Peter and held onto him tightly all throughout the night. It was around 2 in the morning when Wade whispered, “You awake?”

 

“Kinda.”

 

“I’m really proud of you for what you did today.”

 

Peter smiled and curled his arms around Wade’s—the closest he could come to hugging him. “Thank you.”

 

“It was hard to watch you go, though.”

 

“I know.”

 

“No, it was… It was my own stupid plan that put you in danger. Because at the time I was just thinking in terms of Spider-Man.” Wade kissed the back of his head. “I didn’t stop to think about the fact that I was also putting Peter in danger.”

 

Peter was quiet as he considered Wade’s words. “Do you think of us as different people?”

 

“Sometimes the difference is… blurry.”

 

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. “I get that.”

 

“What time are you meeting up with May?”

 

“Originally we were having dinner but after today...yesterday? Whatever. I was thinking about heading over there earlier than that.”

 

“Then I should let you get some sleep, huh?”

 

Peter smiled and pressed himself as close to Wade as he could manage. “Goodnight, Babe.”

 

“G‘Night, Baby Boy.”

 

* * *

 

Peter had barely walked through the door when May pulled him into a tight hug.

 

“I’m so sorry for scaring you,” he said as he returned the hug.

 

Eventually they released each other and moved to the living room. “Did anyone get hurt?” she asked.

 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. Loki was really tired but I don’t think he was actually injured or anything.

 

“Working with Loki…” she said softly. “It’s hard to wrap my head around, after…”

 

“Yeah.” Peter leaned back and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s complicated, though. He wasn’t… He was being controlled, back then.”

 

“Who could control someone like that?”

 

Peter blinked. That was a good question and it made wave of unease clench at his chest. “I don’t know. Someone stronger than him, I guess.”

 

He was grateful when May didn’t try to stay on that topic. She could probably see that the question bothered him. She was good at stuff like that, after all. How had he ever thought he could hide being Spider-Man from her.

 

Why had he ever thought he’d needed to?

 

“So, where did you go yesterday? Where time was weird.”

 

He blew out a long breath. “Ok, um. How familiar are you with Norse mythology?” He leaned forward so he could gauge her reaction.

 

“A little bit. I think the whole world read up on it after Thor and Loki showed up in New York.”

 

“Right. Ok, so, we went to another realm. Vanaheim.”

 

“Is that like Asgard?”

 

“Kind of. I think. I mean, I’ve never been to Asgard, so I don’t know how similar they are, but… Well, hang on.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and showed her the pictures he’d taken. The plant-life, the palace, and the one quick shot he’d snagged of Loki and Sigyn’s home while they waited to see what was going to happen.

 

“That’s one of those wolves, isn’t it?” She pointed to Fenrir.

 

“Yeah. Fenrir. Uh, one of Loki’s children. And that,” he pointed to Hel, “is Hel, Loki’s daughter.” He chewed on his lip as he considered how to continue explaining. “The other wolf, the red one, that was Váli. That’s who we were there to save.”

 

“Save?”

 

He nodded and did his best to explain what he knew. Which, he realized quickly, wasn’t actually very much. That something had happened that lead to Odin breaking Váli’s mind. That he’d been driven mad.

 

“But we—well, Loki and Sigyn—broke the curse. So...he should be back to normal, now. I think.”

 

May nodded as he talked. “How long have you been involved in,” she gestured vaguely. “All of this magic and Gods and… All of that?”

 

“Uh. Remember that giant rooster?”

 

“Hard to forget something like that.”

 

“That’s when I got involved.” He paused. “Well, no, I guess that’s not true. A bit before that, there was that big metal ball at that pier? I guess that’s when I got involved, really.”

 

May looked taken aback. “Those were related?”

 

“Yeah. Váli… Actually, I’m not sure what happened there. But I was there fighting him. That’s actually when I met Deadpool.” She just looked at him expectantly so he continued. “He showed up guns blazing and swearing up a storm and that, uh. That didn’t do sh-. Didn’t do anything to stop it. So Loki threw him and they stabbed the ball.”

 

“And that stopped it?”

 

Peter nodded. “It turned out there was a guy in there. So when Deadpool and Loki stabbed him…”

 

“They killed him?”

 

“Yeah,” he acknowledged quietly.

 

“Peter,” May started slowly. “Why did you tell Deadpool who you really were?”

 

“I didn’t exactly…” He closed his eyes and recounted what had happened when they’d fought the rooster. Being hit by the curse. Being so overwhelmed by sensory overload that anything touching his skin had been unbearable. How he’d tossed his mask off without a second thought to who all was in the room.

 

“Did he ever ask who you were before that?” May asked after taking a few moments to digest that new information.

 

Peter shook his head. “No. In fact, he was always really adamant that I shouldn’t tell him. He said that me being Spider-Man was enough.”

 

“And when he found out you were a teenager?”

 

He shrugged. “We started hanging out as Peter and Wade sometimes. And teaming up as Spider-Man and Deadpool. We work well together.”

 

Her fingers tapped against her leg. “Would you like some tea or coffee or something?”

 

“Huh? Oh, uh. Coffee would be great?” He tilted his head and watched her get up from the couch and… well, escape seemed like the best word for it.

 

“Aunt May?” he asked following after her cautiously.

 

“You know I like Wade, right?” May stared at the coffee maker as she spoke.

 

“That’s the impression I’ve gotten, yeah.”

 

“And that I support you in anything you want to do?”

 

“Right…”

 

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry about you.”

 

Right. That was why he hadn’t wanted to tell her about being Spider-Man. “I know. But I promise I do my best to stay safe and—”

 

“And Wade?”

 

“Uh, he’s a bit more reckless, but—”

 

“No, I mean,” she turned and leaned against the counter, crossing her arms. “The two of you are living together. And I can see how much you two care about each other, but…”

 

“May,” he interrupted. “Despite...everything you’ve probably heard. Despite Deadpool’s reputation, Wade’s a good guy.”

 

“Is Deadpool?”

 

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? “Yes,” he declared. “He’s not perfect, but he’s a Good Person.”

 

It was a tense moment while Peter wondered if he was going to have to try to jump to Wade’s defense. Again. He’d do it, if he needed to.

 

But all May said was, “Ok.” And that was that.

 

Which didn’t mean she didn’t have plenty more questions lined up for him. About Spider-Man, about Deadpool, about the Avengers, and more embarrassingly, a few about his relationship with Wade.

 

It was obvious she was trying not to pry too deeply, though, which he appreciated.

 

But he still groaned when, halfway through dinner, she said, “Ok, I have to ask,” because that usually meant that she was going to ask something awkward that he didn’t really want to answer.

 

“When you and Wade have sex—”

 

Peter choked on the bite of potato in his mouth. “What?” he squeaked after he’d cleared his throat. “Why would you just assume that we’re…” He tried to keep himself from flailing, but didn’t quite manage it.

 

“I do actually remember what being a teenager was like, Peter. And you and Wade have been living together for several months.”

 

“Jesus Christ.” He buried his face in his hands and wished desperately for any kind of emergency to happen. Anything that could get him far far away from this conversation.

 

So naturally New York decided that this was a perfectly good afternoon to be as uncooperative as possible.

 

“Ok, fine,” he sighed, not coming out from behind his hands. “What do you want to know?”

 

May’s voice was gentle as she continued. “I promise this is the only thing I’ll ask. I don’t want to know any details or anything. But I need to know if the two of you are being safe?”

 

“Safe?” He repeated before the meaning caught up with him. “Oh!” He lowered his hands. “I, uh. I mean, Wade and I both have super healing factors, and we’re only doing anything, you know… with each other. So…”

 

“Peter Benjamin Parker.” May looked thoroughly unimpressed by his perfectly reasonable explanation.

 

“What? It’s true! And it’s not like either of us can get pregnant.”

 

“There’s no way you can possibly know for certain that neither of you can get sick.”

 

“Well, I mean—”

 

“I know. You and Wade heal very quickly. And you told me that Wade can’t die. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t be carrying something. And you don’t know all the ways that spider might have affected you. Even if you are right, it’s important to err on the side of caution.”

 

Peter crossed his arms and stared down at the remains of his dinner. “Fine. If you promise to never, ever, bring this up again. We’ll buy some condoms and be more careful and all that.”

 

He could see May smiling in his periphery. “That’s all I ask.”

 

After that their conversation blessedly turned to school and Peter’s college application and what sort of classes he was hoping to take the next fall.

 

“I still can’t believe all the Spanish I took in high school isn’t going to count at ESU.”

 

“Are you just going to take ESU’s Spanish classes?”

 

“Maybe,” he grumbled. “Or I’ll take French or ASL or something, so I can have a better shot at understanding what Wade’s saying when he’s making fun of the fact that I don’t just absorb languages like he does.”

 

“Wade speaks French?”

 

“Wade speaks everything,” he muttered. “Uh, French, Spanish, ASL… and some German and Japanese, I think? And he knows random snippets of a bunch more.”

 

May laughed at his barely-meant complaints.

 

“And Ellie’s a sponge for it, too. She’s 8 and can talk circles around me in 3 different languages.”

 

He considered that train of thought for a moment. “Or maybe I’ll try to test into a higher level Spanish class so I can learn more and talk to Ellie in her native language better.” He briefly wondered if he could try taking more than one. It wasn’t like he didn’t have people he could practice the languages with.

 

After dinner they were back in the living room with the tv turned down low, playing the evening news.

 

“I’m so proud of you, Peter,” May said suddenly.

 

“Huh? Oh… Thanks, Aunt May.”

 

“I mean it. What you’re doing scares the crap out of me, but… you’re out there helping people. And Gods. It’s incredible. You’re pretty incredible.” She broke the gravity of the moment by reaching over and ruffling his hair. “Your parents would be, too, you know.”

 

“They would?” he asked.

 

“They were always trying to save the world in their own ways too.”

 

Peter swallowed thickly. “Yeah.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “You think they’d be cool with me running around as a vigilante?”

 

May hummed. “Maybe. Aside from you putting yourself in danger, of course. But Rick especially… He would have understood. Sometimes doing the right thing means bending the rules a little.”

 

He sat up. “Really?” That was definitely not something he’d ever known about his father. “What makes you say that?”

 

“Rick and Ben both believed that if you have the power to help someone, then you have to try to do so. It’s a responsibility that you owe to your fellow man.”

 

“With great power and all that?”

 

“Exactly. But sometimes they disagreed on what exactly that meant.”

 

“Like calling the cops versus stepping in yourself?”

 

“Mmhmm.”

 

“And Dad would have stepped in himself, you think?”

 

May hesitated before answering. “Yes. Don’t misunderstand, Ben would have too, if he didn’t have any other options.”

 

Peter’s chest ached. He knew exactly what Ben would have done when he didn’t think he had any options.

 

“What about my mom?”

 

“She’d have been there figuring out a way to kick ass with you.”

 

Peter laughed even as a knot tightened in his stomach at the thought of his parents, and how they might have reacted to what he was doing now.

 

He wondered how close May was to her estimation of their reactions.

 

He wished he could have known them.

 


 

The apartment was filled with the sound of 80s music as Peter cooked breakfast and Wade stationed himself at their table. He’d finally opened the new whetstones Peter had bought him and was gleefully sharpening every knife they owned.

 

“Gonna give me a preview of that “hair test” thing?” Peter asked, setting down a plate of breakfast burritos near him.

 

“Nope. I told Ellie I’d show you both at the same time, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”

 

Peter huffed and sat down across from him with his own breakfast. “Fine. I guess.”

 

Wade gave him an amused look. “Do we have any tomatoes? I can show you something else cool.”

 

“Are they still going to be edible afterwards?” Peter had never been a fan of wasting food.

 

“Of course. What do you think I’m going to do with them?”

 

Peter just grinned and grabbed a tomato from the counter. “I never know with you.”

 

Rather than get right to...whatever it was he was going to do, Wade got up and carefully washed the knife he’d been sharpening. He also returned with a cutting board.

 

“Ok. You ready?” He asked.

 

“Sure?” Peter leaned forward, his curiously piqued. Surely Wade was going to do something more than just chop up a tomato.

 

Wade set the tomato on the board and then dropped his hand back to the side. His other hand brought the knife up and, with a quick smirk, cut off the top of the tomato.

 

“Wait, what the hell?” Peter asked, startled. “What’s the trick?”

 

“No tricks. Just a very very sharp knife.” Wade demonstrated again, removing increasingly thin slices from the tomato without ever touching it with anything but the knife.

 

Peter suddenly was a lot less skeptical about Wade’s hair test claim. He reached over and plucked a few slices of tomato from the board and added them to his burrito.

 

He chewed thoughtfully for a few moments as he watched Wade clean up his work station. In many things, Wade was more than a little bit careless, but he did always take good care of his weapons, at least. And Peter. It gave him a weird sort of warm fuzzy feeling to compare himself to Wade’s knives, but it wasn’t bad by any means.

 

“What’s the face?” Wade asked when he returned to start on his breakfast.

 

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

 

“Thinking about happy things?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Wade was grinning.

 

“What?” Peter returned the grin with a smile.

 

“You’re cute when you’re thinking happy thoughts.”

 

Peter sputtered at the compliment but was saved from having to reply by his phone pinging with a new text message.

 

Ned [09:12]: u busy

 

Peter [09:12]: no what’s up

 

Ned [09:13]: Want to go ice skating w/ MJ and me?

Ned [09:13]: @ Lasker Rink

Ned [09:13]: Around noon

 

“Do we have any plans that I’m forgetting about?” Peter asked.

 

“No, why? Is everything ok?”

 

“Yeah, everything’s good. Ned and MJ are going ice skating, and they want me to come.”

 

“That sounds like fun, you should totally go do that.”

 

Peter paused before replying to Ned’s texts. “Do you want to come?”

 

Wade shook his head. “Nah, that’s ok. I still have tons and tons of knives to sharpen!” When Peter just gave him an uncertain look, Wade continued. “Go have fun with your friends, Pete. Stop being Spider-Man for a day and just go be Peter Parker.”

 

He hoped that even half of the fondness he felt at Wade’s words managed to make it into his expression.

 

Peter stood and made his way over to his laptop, and changed the song that was playing. He returned to the table, holding his hand out towards Wade. Wade only gave him a questioning look. “I know I’m really late, but I’m pretty sure I owe you a waltz.”

 

Wade laughed and hopped to his feet, and the two of them spun and danced to Celine Dion’s “Right Next to the Right One” on repeat for the next half-hour before Peter remembered that he should probably text Ned back.

 

Peter [09:47]: Sorry yeah I’ll come

 

Ned [09:48]: Where’d you go

 

Peter [09:48]: We were busy being an exemplary gay couple

 

Ned [09:48]: rofl

Ned [09:48]: Oh yeah? 😉

 

Peter [09:49]: We were dancing get your mind out of the gutter

 

Ned [09:49]: no

 

Peter [09:50]: I’ll see you later

 

“So, you know how to skate?” Wade asked once Peter shoved his phone away and dropped down on the couch.

 

“Yeah. It’s been a while, though.” He stretched his arms up above his head. “A few years?” He thought back. “Like… since before I got bit.”

 

“Really? If it’s been a while, you need to be really careful then. Don’t—”

 

“Wade, no. This is gonna be awesome! And maybe a bit weird. But mostly awesome!”

 


 

Peter had been right. Skating now that he had his Spidey Powers was weird. And awesome! He had always had good balance on the ice, but this was like something completely new. He had to refrain from pushing himself just to see what all he could manage now.

 

MJ’s yell of “Do a Flip!” hadn’t helped his self-control. Nor had having to sit back and watch a guy take a really nasty fall that he could have easily prevented. But a normal person wouldn’t have been able to cross the 150 feet that separated them fast enough. That didn’t stop him from getting to his side as quickly as he dared and helping him limp off of the ice.

 

“Thanks, kid,” he said gruffly when he sat down on a bench. “I’ve got it from here.”

 

“You sure? I can—”

 

“Daddy!”

 

“Harold!”

 

A woman and small girl rushed to the man’s side.

 

“Don’t worry about Daddy,” he said. “I’m tougher than that.”

 

Peter smiled faintly as the man comforted his daughter. He gave them a small wave as he headed back to the rink.

 

It wasn’t his job to take care of everyone, he reminded himself firmly. Even though he could have done something about this one. He could have kept a man from getting hurt, and he could have kept a wife and daughter from worrying.

 

“Everything alright?” MJ asked as she slowed to a stop at the side of the rink. “It didn’t look like he was bleeding or anything, but—”

 

“He’ll be ok,” Peter assured her, hoping he was right. When he glanced back he could see the family leaving, and the man’s limp seemed to already be improving. Or he was putting on a show to keep them from worrying.

 

“You’re a good dude, Pete,” MJ told him. “Most people wouldn’t have stopped.” She gestured back towards the dozens of people who were still skating and laughing happily. “Most people didn’t even notice.”

 

Most people kind of suck, he didn’t say. Then frowned a little at the thought. People were busy, and focused on their own situation. He’d probably only noticed because he was so used to looking out for things like that.

 

“You gonna get back in here, or are you all funned out?” MJ asked.

 

He only hesitated a moment before taking the opportunity to leap down the steps and back onto the ice.

 

“Where’s Ned?”

 

MJ jerked her head back in Ned’s direction. He was staying close to the side of the rink and skating slowly and carefully around.

 

“Is...Is he having fun?”

 

“I mean, this was his idea.”

 

They started shouting loud and enthusiastic encouragement at him until he caught up to where they were.

 

“You’re standing too straight,” Peter offered as soon as Ned was in range.

 

“What? You’re standing up straight!”

 

“I’m also not skating right now. Bend your knees and keep your weight towards the balls of your feet.”

 

Ned huffed at his advice, but did try to follow it.

 

It took a few tries, but eventually Peter and MJ were able to coach Ned away from the edge of the rink.

 

“Go, Ned, go!” Peter cheered as his friend skated cautiously a few feet ahead of them. Really, he was going slow enough that he was more likely to lose his balance again, but at least he was going.

 

Eventually Ned and MJ decided that they were tired and brought the skating session to a close. Ned had even managed to gain enough confidence that Peter was able to stop worrying that he was going to fall and hurt himself.

 

They settled at a metal table with built-in benches. Peter had to sit facing away from the rink to keep himself from watching out for anyone else getting hurt.

 

“So, how's college going?” Peter asked.

 

Ned's eyes glazed over and MJ snorted. “It's something else,” she offered. “I think Midtown kind of shielded us from the brunt of just how fucking stupid people are.”

 

Peter laughed at her deadpan delivery. “It can't be that bad.”

 

“No, it can be,” Ned disagreed. “And worse. If you throw enough money at a school, they'll let just about anyone in.”

 

“I mean… yeah. Midtown was that way, too.”

 

“Yeah, but we're still freshmen,” Ned continued. “So there are tons of people who are just there to half-ass stuff and blow their parents’ money.” He ended in a whine.

 

“Yeah, yeah, say what you will. I'm still excited to join you guys next year.”

 

“Oooh,” MJ perked back up. “You started your application?”

 

“I finished my application,” he corrected.

 

“And they saw your SAT scores and threw disgusting amounts of cash at you?”

 

Peter shrugged half-heartedly. “Yeah, pretty much.”

 

“Well, good for you. You can come join in our misery,” MJ smiled.

 

“Do you two even have any of the same classes?”

 

“We're in English Comp together. Gotta do all the pre-reqs and stuff before we get to the good stuff,” Ned explained.

 

“Ew. Isn't that what high school was for?”

 

“You're gonna be bored to tears your first semester,” MJ warned him. “And like 80% of the class will act like they've never even seen a semicolon before.” She stretched. “Three more semesters of that, then hopefully they'll have weeded out the worst of it and rest of us can get on with actually learning something.”

 

“You're all heart,” Ned nudged at her shoulder. “She's not wrong, though. She's just mean.”

 

“I'm only mean because if I have to hear one more explanation of how to format a citation page, I'm going to throw something.”

 

“What about you?” Ned asked, shifting the subject. “How's your internship going?”

 

Peter blinked and his brain stalled out. What had he even been working on besides Spider-Man stuff lately? He'd been doing something hadn't he?

 

“It's fine. Nothing terribly exciting,” he skirted.

 

“Nevermind the internship,” MJ cut him off and Peter let relief flood through him for a moment.

 

Right up until she leaned in closely and whispered, “How's Spider-Man stuff going?”

 

His attention snapped to Ned. “Dude.”

 

“I'm sorry!” Ned shrank back. “You were on the news, and you got shot, and I panicked!”

 

Well, that was fair, actually. “Oh,” was all he said. “Yeah, that's… yeah. Uh, it's going fine. Keeping an eye out for the little guy and all that.”

 

“And fighting giant wolves.”

 

“Yeah, and that,” he agreed. “I mean, that was hopefully just a one-time thing.” Peter dragged a hand through his hair. “What all did Ned tell you?”

 

“Everything he knew. Like how you got bitten on that field trip and decided to just not tell anyone.”

 

“Not my proudest moment.”

 

“And that you made Ned promise to continue not telling anyone and kept it from me for two years.”

 

“Well—”

 

“And that you're dating Deadpool.”

 

Peter's eyes snapped back to Ned. He was pretty sure that Wade wouldn't mind MJ knowing, but still. “That wasn't your secret to tell.”

 

“Don't get mad at him, Peter,” MJ said quickly. “After the initial slip I nagged him for a solid three days before he really said anything else.”

 

He hummed and relaxed his posture. He hadn't really been mad or anything. “Well, now you know, so next time just ask me about stuff.”

 

“Ok!” MJ agreed, leaning across the table. “What's he like?”

 

“Deadpool? Or Wade?”

 

MJ's face lit up in a way that gave Peter pause. She looked too excited by his question.

 

“Is there a difference?”

 

“Sort of,” he offered. “I mean, there's a difference between me being me, and me being Spider-Man.”

 

His friends shared a knowing glance. “Barely,” Ned said. “You act a little different, but I think it's mostly a confidence or anonymity thing.”

 

“Good to know you paid attention back in Mr. Wolfe's class,” MJ teased before turning back to look at Peter expectantly.

 

He sighed. “DP's very…” He trailed off, trying to think of the right words to say. “Single-minded? But most people probably don't really get that, since he's cracking jokes and telling people off the whole time. Or flirting inappropriately with everyone,” he added before the thought had finished forming.

 

“Jealous?” MJ asked.

 

“No. The way he flirts with me is different, so it's fine.”

 

“What about Wade? Does he flirt too much, too?”

 

Peter shook his head. “He only really flirts with his friends. Some of them, at least. He's more… Well, not subdued. At least not around me. I don't know, it's hard to explain. He's just more complex when he's being Wade.”

 

He didn't really feel inclined to share more of the differences. Ned and MJ knew Deadpool's reputation, he didn't need to make any misconceptions they might have any worse.

 

“See,” Ned grinned. “Anonymity.”

 

“Hmm, maybe,” Peter conceded.

 

“Speaking of anonymity…”

 

“Oh, Jesus,” Ned sighed at MJ's segue.

 

“What’s, Oh Jesus?” Peter asked.

 

“Shut up, Ned.” She said before pulling out her phone. “Ok, so I've started doing some preliminary work on a project idea I have, right?”

 

“She's harassing everyone we know,” Ned translated.

 

“And I'm asking people to fill out some online surveys,” she explained. “Because I'm looking into people's willingness to divulge things about their personalities via anonymous quizzes and games that they probably wouldn't share otherwise.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Peter straightened up, interested. “Like racist or sexist beliefs, or what?”

 

“I'm hoping my Prof will let me go down that route eventually. It was easier to get her to sign off on a quiz about sex, though.”

 

“A quiz about sex?”

 

“Yeah. Kind of a, “What kind of sexual deviancy are you into?” type of thing.”

 

“Ok, that quiz was actually pretty fun,” Ned admitted. At Peter's questioning look he continued. “I've taken dozens of quizzes for her over the break, Pete. Dozens. We're not even in class, we're supposed to be relaxing!”

 

Peter chuckled at his half-hearted complaints. “So you need a fresh victim?”

 

“And I want to be able to blackmail my friends by finding out what kind of kinky shit they like.”

 

He rolled his eyes and pulled out his own phone. “Yeah, alright. Give me the link.”

 

After a few seconds MJ's text came through and Peter clicked on the link and poked his way through the handful of demographic questions. “Alright. For you ,” he emphasized.

 

Online quizzes were fun, after all. Plus, he got to help his friend with her project. A win-win, he thought.

 

Until he read the first question.

 

“I like to be dominated, especially in the bedroom.” He raised his eyebrow at his friends, then looked back at the phone. Did he like that? Or, could he? He was pretty sure that nothing he and Wade had done would qualify as “dominating” the other.

 

“Aww, Pete, you’re already blushing and you’re only on the first page.” MJ reached over and ruffled his hair.

 

“Stop that,” he complained. He didn’t mention that technically he was still only on the first question. He decided he was neutral for that question and moved on.

 

Some of the questions were easier. He was pretty confident he wasn’t interested in pain during sex. (But it also mentioned bruises, and he had really liked the hickeys Wade had left. Did that count?) And he definitely wasn’t willing to sell porn clips of himself. Not that anyone would want to see that anyway.

 

He froze at one of the questions.

 

If I could not fulfill all of my partner's sexual desires, I would encourage them to see other people to fill the gaps.

 

Peter ran a hand through his hair and stared down at his phone.

 

It was an undeniable fact that Wade had a higher sex drive than he did. He was a lot more responsive to… Well, just about everything, really, than Peter was.

 

But the thought of Wade with someone else made something possessive rise up and snarl in his chest.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ned asked. “You’re making your upset face.”

 

“I’m not upset,” Peter muttered, and realized he was lying only after he was done saying it.

 

“Hey, we’re your friends,” MJ reminded him. “You can talk to us about shit.”

 

“Yeah, I know, but.” He sighed and read off the question.

 

MJ’s expression darkened. “Peter. Is Wade—”

 

“No!” Peter huffed and locked his phone. “Jesus, why does everyone keep assuming Wade’s like… pressuring me and shit?”

 

“Probably because none of us have really met him.” MJ crossed her arms.

 

“Ned’s met him!”

 

Ned blinked. He didn’t seem to have expected to be pulled into their argument. “Er.” He glanced quickly between the two of them. And then sided with MJ. “Like, twice? And don’t get me wrong, he seemed like a nice guy, but…” He shrugged.

 

Peter deflated as quickly as he’d risen to defend Wade. They were right, they didn’t know him. May and MJ and everyone were just trying to look out for him. And he was acting like a petulant kid again.

 

“Sorry,” he crossed his arms and sank into his coat. “You’re right, you guys don’t know him. But he’s not pressuring me or anything.”

 

“But he does want to have sex?” MJ prodded.

 

“Of course.” Peter was pretty sure he was blushing again, which was ridiculous. This shouldn’t be so fucking embarrassing.

 

“But you guys… aren’t?” Ned hedged.

 

Peter poked at the holes in the woven metal that made up the table rather than try to look at either of them in the face. “We are…”

 

When he didn’t continue, Ned scooted from his bench to share the one Peter was on and bumped their shoulders together. “But?”

 

“I, uh.” He cleared his throat and stared harder at the table.

 

MJ stood up from the table. “Hey, I’m gonna go grab us some hot chocolate. It’s cold as hell out here.”

 

Once she was clear, Peter groaned.

 

“Dick problems?”

 

Peter burst out with a laugh at the unexpected question. “Jesus, dude. No.” He looked up at Ned’s awkward smile. “Or, maybe, I don’t fucking know. I don’t think so.” He glanced around to make sure they were a reasonable distance from other people. “It’s more like… Wade is definitely more interested in sex than I am, though? Or, more often?”

 

“Does it bother you?”

 

“Sometimes,” he admitted. “Not… not Wade wanting to have sex. That’s…” he shifted again. “I like that part. That he uh… wants me. But it bothers me that a lot of the time I’m not—”

 

“Does it bother Wade?” Ned interrupted his building spiral.

 

He shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s never said anything, but like… How could it not, right?”

 

Ned only returned his shrug. “I… Not that I’m an expert or anything, obviously.” It was Ned’s turn to look embarrassed. Peter probably shouldn’t have felt as validated by it as he did. “But I know me and MJ aren’t always on the same...I dunno, wavelength?”

 

“What do you guys do when—. Sorry, that’s none of my business.”

 

“Pfft. I’m over here asking about your sex life, I think it’s fair for you to ask back.” He sat up straighter to keep an eye on where MJ was in line to get their drinks from the vendor. “But also never tell her that we talked about it.”

 

“You think she’d care?”

 

“No, but she’d tease me forever.”

 

Peter grinned despite himself, and he felt something loosen in his chest. “So?”

 

“So we do something else. Like play video games or cuddle or whatever. And yeah, sometimes it’s kind of frustrating, because we both have class and work all the time, so when we do get time together… But it is what it is, right? Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn’t.”

 

“You sound like Wade.”

 

“In a good way?”

 

“Sure. A little patronising, but you know. Aside from that.”

 

MJ had collected their drinks and Peter could see her giving Ned a questioning look from where she stood a few feet to the side from the line.

 

Peter gave her a thumbs up and waved her back over.

 

“You both suck,” he said, taking his drink. “Manipulating me and shit.”

 

“Yeah, we’re the worst,” MJ drawled. “Caring about you. Wanting to spend time with you. Making sure you’re happy and that we don’t have to kick your boyfriend’s ass.”

 

She took a sip of her drink before continuing. “Actually, I might hit him at least once anyway.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“He shot you.”

 

“No. I mean, yeah, he did, but it wasn’t like that, he was being controlled.”

 

He could see that they both had questions about that statement, but MJ continued her thought rather than ask anything. “But he still shot you. That means your friends get one free punch.”

 

Peter smiled and enjoyed the way the way the hot chocolate warmed him from the inside out. “I’ll give him a heads up on that.”

 

“Good.” MJ was smiling too. “We’ll go on a double date, Ned and I will hit him, and then we’ll have dinner or go bowling or something.”

 

Ned sputtered into his drink. “I’m not going to hit him!”

 

“Oh, c’mon, Ned. Think about it. Then you can tell people you got to punch Deadpool,” she grinned.

 

They laughed and teased each other for a while longer, until the sun started to threaten to set.

 

“Ok, it’s gonna get really cold soon. Call it a day?” Peter asked.

 

“Yeah, we probably should.” Ned stood and stretched. “We’re doing this again soon, right?”

 

“Very soon,” Peter agreed.

 

“You two ok getting back to your dorms?”

 

MJ’s eyes lit up mischievously. “Nope,” she chirped. “I think we totally need an escort.”

 

Ned mirrored Peter’s confused expression. “We do?”

 

“Yes. From Spider-Man.”

 

“You can’t be serious.”

 

“Oh, I am. I am so serious. Please tell me you have your suit with you.”

 

“Fine.” Peter groaned and unzipped his coat enough to show that he was wearing his suit under his shirt. “But I’m not carrying you.”

 

“Is that an option?” Ned brightened.

 

“No, I just said it wasn’t. Gimme a minute, you vultures.”

 

Peter shook his head and strode off, sending them dirty looks over his shoulder as he went. He eventually found a quiet abandoned place and pulled his mask out of his pocket. He balled up his clothing and webbed it to the side of the building. He’d have to come back to get them.

 

Getting back to his friends was a whole new adventure. He hadn’t realized how many people were still in the park until they were shouting hellos and waving at him. He didn’t think he had enough energy for the level of socialization that walking them back to campus was going to involve.

 

“Alright, I lied,” he announced as he returned to their table. “I’m carrying you. Fewer people that way.” He paused. “You two aren’t afraid of heights are you?”

 

“No, but…” Ned glanced down at himself. “Kind of worried carrying me might hurt you.”

 

Peter just blinked at him. “I can literally pick you up with one hand.”

 

“Liar,” MJ said immediately.

 

“Please don’t prove it,” Ned said immediately. “I believe you.”

 

MJ pouted for a moment. “You’re a troublemaker,” Peter told her. “Alright, kids, let’s get to the edge of the park so I actually have something to swing from.”

 

Ned and MJ kept stride with him, and when he glanced over, they were both grinning. At least they were having fun.

 

Of course as soon as they were in the air, Peter had a hard time trying to convince himself that he wasn’t also having a great time. Ned was clinging to his back, and he held MJ carefully with his left arm.  Carrying both of them was definitely more awkward than he’d anticipated, and at least once he miscalculated what their additional weight would do to his webs and they swung closer to the ground than he’d have preferred.

 

Thankfully MJ at least seemed to think it was intentional and whooped gleefully as they rose back into the air. After that he opted to aim higher than was probably necessary. He’d never forgive himself if either of them got hurt because of him.

 

“That was pretty great,” MJ grinned at him as she ran her hands over her hair. “Thanks for the lift, Spidey.”

 

Ned looked like he’d have preferred to keep to the ground. “It was certainly... faster than walking.”

 

Peter snorted. “You alright?”

 

“Peachy.” Ned straightened up. “See you around, Spider-Man. Thanks for everything.”

 

He wanted to give Ned shit for teasing him, but he sounded like he meant it. “Anytime,” he said instead.

 

Several other students—and at least one person that Peter was pretty sure was faculty of some sort—were staring at them.

 

“Stay in school. Study hard.” He pointed finger guns at them and started walking backwards.

 

He had really hoped to make a quick exit before anyone got bold enough to come say hi, but honestly, who was he kidding? There was never a quick enough exit in the world to manage that. Instead he spent the next 30 minutes being mobbed by people in the area wanting to talk to him. At least the bottom right of his hud showed that Ned was sending him apologetic text messages.

 

MJ was taking pictures and sending them. His friends were either amazing or they sucked. He couldn’t decide which.

 

By the time he was back in the air, the cold of the night had really started to set in. A few test swings told him that it wasn’t the weather that had affected the elasticity of his webbing, at least.

 

And try as he might to focus on what might be going on with his webs, his mind kept wandering back to that stupid quiz and the unwelcome feeling that he wasn’t enough. That maybe Wade wasn’t getting his needs met, and that maybe Peter was being selfish for hating the idea of Wade seeking out anyone else. Even if it was just sex.

 

That was something people did right? Just have sex for the sake of it? No feelings or emotions attached? That was certainly what Tony had said all those months ago, at least.

 

He dropped down a block away from where he’d ditched his clothing and waited until he could return to the alley and retrieve them. It was late. He just wanted to be at home and warm and curled up with Wade. He could think about the rest later.