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why'd you have to be so cute? (it's impossible to ignore you)

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Jimin is drunk.

Really drunk, if the way he sways on his feet while standing still is anything to go by. He’d gotten to the party four hours ago with Taehyung and...Jeongguk, he thinks. He can’t remember. What he does know is that Namjoon is here, and that he needs to find him.

Namjoon...the love of his life, his soulmate, his future husband who just doesn’t know it yet. He’ll come around, Taehyung always says, but it’s been years and Jimin is starting to lose hope for them. They’d met junior year in high school, the two of them still baby faced and awkward, becoming friends in calculus class of all places. Jimin had always been drawn to Namjoon, wanting to be close with someone older and seemingly cooler than him. Once they got to college, Namjoon really grew into his height and the rest of his features, going from cute to hot in a matter of seconds it seemed like, and it was a lot for Jimin to handle. Namjoon hadn’t ever really dated for as long as the two of them had been friends though, as far as Jimin remembers. So maybe, just maybe, he’ll have a chance. Tonight he definitely has more than enough liquid courage to make a move.

“You look pretty bad,” he hears a voice say in his ear, slightly startling him. He blinks hard and snaps his attention to his left, eyes landing on Jeongguk. “Do you need water? You’re a little wobbly.”

“I’m alright,” Jimin says, noise in his head buzzing a bit loudly. “Have you seen Namjoon?”

Jeongguk raises a brow. “On the back patio, with Yoongi.”

“Wow, you actually left your boyfriend alone with someone else? That’s real character development right there.”

“Fuck off. I hope you keel over.” Jeongguk bites back, but Jimin can hear the laughter in his voice. The younger takes a beer out of the fridge close to the wall, and part of Jimin’s brain finally registers he has been standing in the kitchen for quite a while. Next to all of the alcohol at the party. He remembers now that he got a ride with Yoongi and Jeongguk, danced with Seokjin, Hoseok and Taehyung for a while before separating from the group and starting his drinking adventure. Come to think of it, maybe he should go outside and get some air after being stifled inside for so long.

“Hey, I’m coming out there with you.” He says to Jeongguk, and the other nods before taking Jimin’s hand to lead him through the crowd of people, making sure he doesn’t tumble over. Despite all the bickering they do, Jimin and Jeongguk are always looking out for each other, and the elder almost gets a little emotional thinking about it. Maybe it’s just his last vodka soda talking. Once they get outside, Jimin’s eyes land on his friends all sitting together in the beat up patio chairs around a slightly rickety table, talking and smoking, passing a bowl around in a semi-circle. Yoongi is sitting directly next to Hoseok, saying something low to the other while he takes a hit and blows the smoke out, passing it over to Seokjin who declines. Jeongguk doesn’t even bother to take the empty chair next to Yoongi, just plops right down on his lap, and Yoongi doesn’t even look surprised as he wraps an arm around the younger’s waist and continues to talk to Hoseok. Taehyung is sitting to one side of Namjoon and one side of Seokjin, scrolling on his phone silently, blinking slowly. He’s probably already at least a little buzzed, Jimin figures.


There is an empty seat to Namjoon’s left between him and Yoongi, but Jimin ignores it and walks up to him. Namjoon looks up from his phone and gives Jimin a warm smile.


“Hey, I didn’t know you were here.”


“You were too busy out here hiding from me,” Jimin says, and sits on Namjoon’s lap, wrapping his arms around the other’s neck. It’s nothing they don’t do on a regular day together -- on movie nights at Namjoon’s, during late night trips in Yoongi’s cramped Jeep. Something about this feels different though to Jimin, maybe because there are more people around than usual to see, maybe because he knows that he’s chatty when he’s been drinking too much and he’s bound to say something he might regret. Namjoon situates his arm around Jimin’s waist like second nature, rubbing his thumb along the sliver of skin that’s exposed from where Jimin’s shirt has ridden up. He meets eyes with Taehyung over Namjoon’s head, and the other raises an amused brow. Jimin gives a small smile, and turns his attention back to Namjoon, who now has possession of the bowl and is taking a hit. He blows the smoke out and his lips part around the cloud of smoke, Jimin’s eyes transfixed. He doesn’t even feel himself grabbing for the bowl but he registers Namjoon holding it slightly out of his reach.


“Give me,” Jimin whines and can feel himself pouting.


“I don’t think so. You’re pretty gone already,” Namjoon huffs out a little laugh, eyes twinkling and god Jimin is so in love. Namjoon’s glasses are slipping from his nose a bit as he leans down to take another hit from the bowl, holding it in while he passes it to Taehyung. Taehyung shakes his head, passing the bowl along to Hoseok.


“I’m gonna head home, actually. I have a crit on Monday and still have to finish my last painting.”


Yoongi looks over, barely blinking. “Do you need a ride back?”


“From you? Fuck no. I told you, I’m not driving with you while you’re stoned ever again since you drove us into that lake.” Taehyung says with a giggle and everyone else laughs.


“First of all, it was really dark that night and we didn’t have a GPS, allow me.” Yoongi snorts and throws his keys at Taehyung, the latter catching them just in time. “Take the car, just drive it back when you wake up.” Taehyung thanks him and everyone says goodnight, Seokjin standing as well.


“If anyone needs a ride, speak now or get left.” Hoseok nods and stands, following after. They bid goodnights, and Yoongi and Jeongguk are still left with Namjoon and Jimin. He looks over at the couple, the two of them speaking in low tones and Jeongguk brushing his fingers through Yoongi’s bangs, the older man looking like he could fall asleep right on the spot. Jimin is conscious now of Namjoon’s arm around his waist, fingers running along his skin, body radiating warmth. He thinks they must mirror the image of Yoongi and Jeongguk sitting across from them, and it makes him blush.


“I think we’re gonna go too, try to catch Jin and Hobi on their way out.” Jeongguk says, lifting Yoongi out of the lawn chair by the hand. “See you guys.” Jimin waves and feels himself try to burrow closer to Namjoon, arm around his waist tightening to secure them. It’s quiet, the music from inside muffled by the closed sliding door and crickets chirping almost lulling Jimin to sleep. Namjoon speaks up, Jimin feeling his words come up from where his hand is resting on Namjoon’s clavicle.


“Are you going too?” He doesn’t really look at Jimin as he talks, just keeps his eyes focused on his phone where he’s scrolling through Twitter. “I can drive you home, if you want.”


“No,” Jimin says. “Pay attention to me.” he knows he’s whining but it earns him a laugh. Namjoon complies, locking his phone and letting it rest between his legs and looks up at Jimin, eyes twinkling behind the frames of his glasses. Jimin removes Namjoon’s glasses a bit clumsily, but gently, tucking them in Namjoon’s shirt pocket. “Wanna see your face.” he pauses. “It’s such a good face.”


Namjoon laughs a little, eyes leaving Jimin’s to look away shyly, but the younger is having none of that. He positions himself so that he’s straddling Namjoon’s thighs to the front now and tightens his arms around the back of Namjoon’s neck, the two of them facing each other and both of Namjoon’s hands coming to rest on Jimin’s lower back. “Whoa, okay.”


“I told you, I want you to pay attention to me.” Jimin grabs Namjoon’s cheek and turns his face so they can focus on just each other. He briefly thinks about how Namjoon doesn’t really like showing affection outwardly, always gets embarrassed or shy about it, even around Jimin who is the most tactile person he knows. But he always will let Jimin do this with him.


“I--I am paying attention,” Namjoon giggles a little nervously, cheeks pink and Jimin positively melts. He can’t believe Namjoon is like this: tall, gorgeous, confident when he knows he’s the smartest person in the room (which is often), but also shy and fumbling, easily flustered. Jimin could eat him up. He pinches Namjoon’s cheek instead and coos a little.


“You’re so fucking adorable, I can’t stand it. Wanna hear a secret?” Jimin giggles in Namjoon’s ear, letting his lips brush the shell of it and feels Namjoon give a barely there shiver. He nods with a mumbled, shy “sure” and Jimin leans in, Namjoon’s cheeks flushing a bit more and Jimin notices the bob of his throat as he swallows, smile breaking out across Jimin’s face. “I really...I love you so much. Like, I am so in love with you. I can’t believe you don’t know.”


“Jimin, what--”


“Shh,” Jimin smushes his finger against Namjoon’s plush mouth, and breathes out a sigh. “Don’t talk.” He cups Namjoon’s cheeks in his hands, slightly squishing them, and takes a breath as he slightly sways again when he closes his eyes. This is it. He’s gonna kiss Namjoon. He will love Jimin back, and then they’ll eventually get married and have three dogs in a city apartment. (He’s put lots of thought into this.)


“Um, Jimin,” Namjoon starts, words slightly slurred because of the way that Jimin is holding his face, and Jimin opens his mouth to respond, to tell Namjoon to just shush so that they can finally kiss--


Instead he leans over the side of the chair they’re sitting on, and promptly, throws up.




Jimin wakes up with the worst hangover he’s ever had. And that’s counting the freshman year frat party he went to on Halloweekend and discovered jungle juice. He doesn’t even remember how he ended up getting back to his dorm, the night before a huge blur. He groans, rolling over onto his side and reaching blindly for his phone on his side table and grasping it between his fingers before it falls to the floor. Dead as he expects. Once he sits up and the room stops spinning Jimin gets out of bed and takes an extremely long shower and brushes his teeth. He at least looks more alive, even if he doesn’t feel like it. He just finishes getting dressed and turning on his phone after his second bottle of water and third advil of the hour when he hears a light knock on the door. He frowns.


It’s probably Taehyung, wondering why he didn’t answer all of his texts from the night before, or Jeongguk doing the same. They can wait, he figures. He slips on a sweatshirt and puts his glasses on, scrolling through tens of drunk texts from Hoseok, and snorts. The knock on the door comes again, and he sighs out before tossing his phone to the bed and turning the knob on the door. When he opens it, he freezes. Namjoon is standing on the other side, hand slightly raised as if he were going to knock again, and he quickly puts it down.


“Hey,” he says, a bit sheepishly. “I wanted to come check on you, but then I figured you were still asleep. How are you feeling?”


And it’s...very sweet, that Namjoon is doing this, and it’s so in character for him. But Jimin doesn’t respond right away, because even though this is nice of Namjoon, it’s not common. There’s been plenty of nights where Jimin has come back from parties trashed, woke up hungover and even gone to class like that. So he’s not sure what makes this time different. “I’m...fine. What are you doing here?”


“Well, I was...hoping we could talk?” Namjoon is fiddling with the hem of his flannel a bit, and Jimin gets slightly confused. It’s also not like Namjoon to be nervous. For some reason, the concerned look on Namjoon’s face triggers a flashback to last night, and Jimin stills even further. It comes back to him and-- He remembers being at the party, being drunk out of his mind, and whispering “I’m so in love with you” gently into Namjoon’s ear before throwing up his guts on the ground.


“Oh, God,” he groans. “Oh my God .”


“Yeah, I...really think we should talk about yesterday. Uh--”


“No.” Jimin says quickly. “No, fuck just--” he doesn’t know how to say go away without sounding like a complete asshole and making Namjoon never want to speak to him again. He knows that Namjoon will tell him that it was a big mistake, and that he got freaked out by it, and say that the two of them are better off as just being friends. “I’m sorry. I don’t wanna talk about it. It’s not very fair, but I, like. Can’t.” Namjoon tries to take a step towards Jimin, either to enter the room or to console him, but he blocks his way of moving in further.


Namjoon blinks. “So you just, don’t wanna hear what I have to say?”


“No,” Jimin says sternly, feeling kind of bad because it is really rude of him, and he voices as much. “I’m sorry, I just — I’m not trying to sound mean, because this is my fault, I just. Can’t handle that, right now.” Can’t handle the rejection, he thinks but doesn’t say. He begins to close the door, bottom lip between his teeth and worried that Namjoon will never want to talk to him again. And he doesn’t know if he can handle that, either. Handle the awkward conversations, the weird tension between them that’s soon to come because Jimin couldn’t stop acting like this. But having his heart broken is just... so much worse, and he knows it.


The door is almost shut but something stops it and makes it jar, a hollow noise thumping from whatever it’s coming into contact with. It’s Namjoon’s foot in the doorframe, Jimin sees when he turns around and blinks confusedly. “Um—“


“I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say. It’s worth the listen,” Namjoon says simply, the determination flaming in his eyes contrasting so differently with the gentleness of his voice. He pushes the door open and slips back into Jimin’s room, leaning against the door once he’s closed it behind him. “Jimin, I—“


“You don’t have to let me down easy,” Jimin interrupts, cheeks flushing and wringing his fingers. “I get it, we’re friends and it’s — I was acting weird, at the party. Which I already said sorry for but I’ll apologize again, I clearly wasn’t thinking and I don’t even know why I did that!” he can’t help but to emit a hysterical little laugh, voice teetering on the edge of laughter and tears. “We can forget about it, if you want. I understand, I’m not going to—mmph.” The rest of the sentence gets smushed back into his mouth by Namjoon’s plush lips on his. Jimin is so surprised he doesn’t even react at first, just goes cross eyed at the view in front of his face which is Namjoon’s soft skin and long lashes. It only takes a few more seconds after that, of the feeling of Namjoon about to pull away, for Jimin to come to his senses and move his lips against the other’s. He snakes his arms around to the back of Namjoon’s neck, pulling him down a little further and pressing full on against his mouth.


Namjoon kisses like he does everything regarding Jimin: carefully, gently, but surely. Almost as if Jimin weren’t the only one waiting for this to happen. The thought makes the latter’s heart beat even faster and shorten his breath a little, making him pull away leaving him panting against Namjoon’s mouth, resting their foreheads together. Jimin blinks his eyes open slowly and catches first sight of Namjoon’s mouth, shiny and pink. Fuck.


“Are you going to listen to what I have to say now?” Namjoon whispers and Jimin breaks out in goosebumps at the feeling of the other’s lips moving against his own as he speaks.


“If the topic of conversation is anything like what just happened, I’m all ears,” he sighs out, a little dreamily and Namjoon laughs but he can’t help it. The love of his life just kissed him in the very middle of his dorm room at eleven AM on a Saturday morning. Namjoon bites his lip nervously, before looking Jimin in the eyes, the latter going weak in the knees just a little bit.


“We should go on a date,” Namjoon says, and even though they did just kiss, Jimin was not expecting to hear that. “Tonight. For ramen, or something, I know a nice place downtown.” Jimin doesn’t say anything for a moment, mind still catching up to the fact that Namjoon actually just asked him out. The older must take the silence for a bit of rejection, because his hold starts to loosen on Jimin’s waist and he begins to back away. “Or...not. We don’t--have to go anywhere if you don’t want--”


“You want to take me on a date?” Jimin can’t help but to say. “Even after…”


Namjoon furrows his eyebrows. “I really like you, Jimin. I guess that I wasn’t being obvious enough? Yoongi definitely always said I was. And after yesterday, well. I just didn’t think you really meant it because you were so drunk when you said it.” Jimin knows Namjoon is being serious with him, even a bit shy and vulnerable, but he can’t stop fucking smiling. “Stop laughing at me.”


“I’m not,” Jimin says with a laugh. “I’m just really happy. In complete disbelief, but totally fucking happy. It wasn’t really a good time, but I definitely meant what I said. I know you said you only really like me but, I do love you a lot and I can’t hold that in anymore.” Jimin isn’t really used to being this bare, this open, but it just seems to be something he can’t control when Namjoon is around. The older is blushing now, lips pressed together in a line as he tries not to smile and Jimin kisses the dimples on both of his cheeks.


“Okay. Yeah, I--alright.” Namjoon breathes out and then chuckles a little. “I wanna try this with you.” Jimin tilts his head up again to catch Namjoon’s mouth in a languid kiss, tangling his fingers in Namjoon’s shirt at the shoulders.


“Come on,” he says, once he pulls away, taking in the beautiful flush on Namjoon’s skin. “Let’s go eat now, I’m hungover and starving. We can still go out later, too. Whatever you want.”


“Whatever I want? I could get used to that, I like how this is going already.” Namjoon says with a big smile and starts out the door while Jimin grabs a jacket and his phone, yanking it off the charger and following Namjoon downstairs to his car. He peers at the notifications, twenty-two texts in the group chat with himself, Taehyung and Jeongguk.



are you dead


do you need us to come by?

Reads the last message sent at 8 this morning, and Jimin snorts.



namjoon came by, i’m ok

The next text comes in at lightspeed from Taehyung, a long key smash and a string of shocked and a few suggestive emojis. He laughs and pockets his phone, climbing in the passenger seat and buckling his seatbelt. Namjoon starts up the car and turns on the radio, shifting the car into gear and then holding out his hand for Jimin to hold, which he does with a smile.




“Yeah, I’m ready.”