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I Don't Dance

Chapter Text

“Okay Paladins get into pairs and warm up for today’s training!” Coran, the Ice Hockey coach, announced to the team entering the rink.

“TEAM PUNK!” Hunk and Pidge dibs each other as they fist bump towards one length of the rink to practice their passes up the left side of the court, discussing some science experiment from their lab club.

“Hey Allura, could you help me get this suit on?” Shiro calls to the pink player gesturing to the new black padding beneath him earning a call of ‘old man’ from the red clad player who just finished stretching.

Muffling a giggle in her gloved hand, Allura agreed to help the retired captain.

“well that just leaves you and me, mullet” Lance declares as he put an arm around the slightly taller (confirmed after numerous fights, Shiro and a tape measure) male’s shoulders, smirking at the look he received.

Keith shrugged Lance off his shoulders causing him to yelp, performing various twists and twirls to prevent him from falling onto the ice.

Keith laughed, “come on twinkle toes, fancy moves won’t help us win against The Generals”

Lance gasped “Dancing helped my defence AND attacking in hockey thank you very much, mullet, you should try it and maybe you’ll be as good as me.”

“Ha! I’m already better than you, sharpshooter. Besides, you wouldn’t catch me in some sparkly leotard.” Keith retorted.

“Bet you couldn’t score against me” Lance smirked; mischievous, Cerulean eyes shining.

“That a challenge, pretty boy”

Lance’s cheeks burn at the unexpecting comment “ummm y-yeah *cough, cough* game on, mullet”

Lance glides towards his phone and puts on some pop music.

“why, Lance?”


Keith goes to the middle of the court, puck ready on his stick while Lance goes in front of the goal, smirk still plastered on his face as he began to taunt (read sing)

Hey, batter, batter, hey batter, batter swing.

Keith inwardly sighs, adjusting his grip on the stick.

I've got to just do my thing.

Hey, batter, batter, hey batter, batter swing.


I'll show you that it's one and the same:
Hockey, dancing, same game.

Lance moonwalks onto the ice.

It's easy:

Step up to the plate, start swingin.

He spins, mimicking a baseball swing, before swatting into position.

Keith scoffs at the movement

 I wanna play ball now, and that's all.
This is what I do.  
It ain't no dance that you can show me.

Keith, badly, imitates Lance’s pelvic thrust


You'll never know

Oh, I Know. Keith retorts

you'll never try. Lance points out

There's just one little thing that stops me every time yeah.

Keith shoots the puck towards the goal when Lance was distracted, who quickly blocked it.

Come on! Lance huffed, annoyed at his moment of distraction.

I don't dance.

I know you can.

Not a chance. No.

Keith took another shot

If I could do this, Lance splits to block the oncoming shot ricocheting it back to its giver, well, you could do that.

But I don't dance.

Unknown to the two, the other paladins (plus Coran) have noticed the interaction (read sexual tension) and, like most teenagers would, went and watched the pining boys and making bets on who would kiss who. Pidge and Shiro: Lance, Hunk and Coran: Keith – Allura’s too busy squealing to notice

Hey, batter, batter, hey batter, batter swing.

I've just got to do my thing.

Hey, batter, batter, hey batter, batter swing.


“Okay, you’re good at defence. Now let’s see you in attacking, pretty boy” Keith smirks

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat.
Bases loaded, do your dance.

Lance performs some freeform moves with the stick and puck
It's easy:
Take your best shot, just hit it.

He hits the puck

I've got what it takes, playin my game,

Keith blocks the shot, smoothly.
So you better spin that pitch you're gonna throw me, yeah.
I'II show you how I swing.

Keith smirks, swaying his hips towards Lance. Resulting in the latter.exe to stop working, causing Keith to laugh.

You'll never know

Lance, once recovers, wriggles his eyebrows

Oh, I know.

you'll never try.

There's just one little thing that stops me every time. Yeah.

Come on!


I don't dance.


I know you can.

Not a chance. No no.

If I could do this,

Lance does a roundhouse movement to shoot

 well, you could do that.

Keith lunges to stop it and fails

But I don't dance. He groans

I say you can. 

Not a chance. No no.

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor.

I don't dance, no.

“Move it, Sharpshooter, I ain’t letting you beat me” Keith pushes Lance towards the goal, grumbling, as he gets into attacking position.

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance.

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance.

Lance smirks and pirouettes 360 degrees both ways.

I wanna play ball, not dance hall.

I'm making a triple, not a curtain call.

I can prove it to you til you know it's true,
Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too.

You're talkin a lot
Show me what you got.

(All) Swing!

Come on, swing it like this.
Oh, swing!


Jitterbug... just like that.

That's what I mean; That's how you swing.

You make a good pitch, but I don't believe.

I say you can.

I know I can. but

I don't dance.  Lance mimics Keith’s statement

You can do it.

I don't dance, no.

Come on!

They decide to fight for the last shot, the tiebreaker.

I don't dance.

I know you can.

Not a chance. No no.

If I could do this, Lance swipes puck well, you could do that. Keith gets it back

But I don't dance.

Hit it out of the park!

Lance shoots but misses.

I don't dance.

I say you can.

Not a chance. No no.

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor.

They both glide towards the puck

I don't dance, no.


Both end up close together looking at each other, breathless and all motivation to win gone. Lance tilts his head upwards, removing the cage, blue meeting red helmet and in a trance, he moves the bulky hat to reveal dumbstruck purple staring at him.

No one’s sure on who moved first, but they both leaned forward; eyes closing then -


The spell broke as both boys jump, faces heating up, and look at the source of the light – which was a, now VERY sheepish Allura, in between the rest of the paladins (2 of which have a couple of fivers in their hands).

“What the fuck Lance!!” Keith glares at the dazed blue paladin, pushing him onto the ice as Keith storms off.

Lance is still dazed by the sudden movement that he doesn’t realise a black figure running past him, or the yellow and green figures trying to get his attention – until the orange one sprays water onto his face.

“huh?? Coran? Hunk? Pidge?” Lance questions, cold and wet, as he looks around

“Where’s Keith?? I was beating his a-butt” He asks the others, searching for the red paladin.

“He ran off after you two duet-ed your soul song and almost kissed” Pidge said, bluntly.

“okay, I – WHAT!!” Lance jumps up, almost slipping, and holds Hunk shoulders – eyes pleading for this not to be happening

“Sorry, buddy, it happened” Brown eyes looking apologetic at his freaked-out friend

“Great!” Lance deadpans, “Now I’ve quiznaked up my… my I don’t know with Keith. How in the world am I gonnaaa – Pidge why do you have fivers in your hand? Wait. WERE YOU BETTING ON US?” Screeched the panicked Cuban.

“We wanted to know who would make a move first, dear boy” Coran explained as Pidge and Hunk wore sheepish smiles the former slowly trying to hide the already spotted money.

“You voted for Keith?” Lance gives the look of disappointedᵗᵐ towards his best friend

“You can be very awkward sometimes, bro.” Hunk reasons semi – immune to the look by now.

“True,” Lance agrees, “Now if you don’t mind, I have to hiii-” They all glare at him “-fiiiiind Keith *cough* and try to talk to him about this and not die, happy? Good, see ya!”

He internally sighs as he races out of the arena to go and find Keith. He knows that this will manifest into something cruel if left for too long, and he likes Keith: funny, strong, hot – wait… oh screw it – yes hot and he’s willing to say that to the mullet’s face if he doesn’t get punched for the mistake, or he could end up getting that session, Lance smirks as he turns and heads for the closest ‘Keith Spot’.

After all, it can go both ways.