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hope that if I found the strength to walk out (you'd stay the hell out of my way)

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Eden was never a symbol of perfection

Aphrodite was never a symbol of love

Love to the Greeks meant madness, meant that someone had fallen too far

 

(I never loved you

I thought I did

You told me I did)

 

But love is not Cupid’s arrow forcing you to fall

It is not gravity, pulling inescapable force

A black hole, sucking away at what makes you who you are

 

Love is choice

It means something

 

To the Enlightenment thinkers, gravity was all-powerful

The gravity of love destroyed me

 

You are not a superhero, seeking to save the day-

If you want to be a hero,

I name you Hercules, killer of families

I name you Adam, the first misogynist

I name you Orpheus, obsessed and unable to not look back

I name you Jason, betrayer of wives

I name you Hamlet, mocker of weakness

I name you David, widower of lovers

 

I name you tragedy

 

You will not destroy me

I am not tragedy

I am more than the damsel to your savior,

more than prologue to your redemption,

more than aftermath to your tragedy

 

(I should not have to save you

I cannot save you

I do not want to save you)

 

I am Eve, Jocasta, Eurydice, Ophelia, Andromeda, Bathsheba

I am Lilith, Echidna, Medea, Angrboda, Nut, Nyx, Loki

(I am the mother of monsters)

I am every wife wronged

Every lover betrayed

Every boyfriend raped

Every partner abused

 

Do not name me damsel- you have no right

I will name myself monster

I will become monster

 

Eden will fall and I will rejoice

I will not get thee to a nunnery

I will sire monsters to rule in my place, rage to burn the system down

I will turn myself into a bullet, into a weapon

 

You were supposed to be Heaven

You devoured me and spat me out into Hell

 

You call this anger, an overreaction

They say that you do not deserve this

(I did not deserve your abuse, your poison

I did not deserve a bullet when I kissed you

I did not deserve betrayal when I loved you)

This was not an overreaction

If I’d stayed with you I would have died

Maybe not today, but tomorrow

I would have been Ophelia, exiting before Act V

I would have been Eurydice, stuck in Hades for eternity while you escape

I would have been Medea, my husband a traitor and my children dead

I would have been every virgin sacrificed to their partner’s “needs”

I would have been victim, damsel, leaving forgotten in order to give you your happy ending

 

This is my battle cry

(I have spent too long your victim

I cannot be your punching bag anymore

I cannot be your fanatic, your damsel, your cult of one)

 

(Tell me, darling, how this is love

It’s not

You can’t tell me otherwise)

 

Keep your Eden, your Aphrodite,

Your gravity, your cult, and your Palace

Keep your crown

 

(I loved you

You lost me-

Goodbye.)