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Desolate

Chapter Text

"I don't know, Nico." 

I whined. "Come on, Sunshine, it's only for an hour. Then we can come back and watch Disney movies."

Will still looked hesitant. "It's too anxiety-provoking for me, sorry. Maybe we can go on a date some other time." He walked back to my bed, sitting on it and sighing.

I frowned. This was our first time going out as a couple, and I wanted it to be special for both of us. I sat down next to my boyfriend. "Sunshine?"

His eyes were downcast. "What?"

"Look at me," I said.

He looked up with a melancholy gaze.

"I know you ran out of your anxiety medicine-" Will flinched, not knowing that I had found out- "so we can stay here, okay?"

Will sniffed. "How did you-"

"Kayla told me. And I'm just perceptive, Sunshine." 

He looked away from me, crossing his arms. "Is it that obvious, Nico?" he asked brokenly.

I took his hand, kissing the back of it. "No, of course not. I can just tell when my boyfriend isn't a hundred percent. I'll ask Chiron if I can go pick up your medicine tomorrow, okay?"

Will opened his mouth, then he closed it again. I could tell that he wanted to say something. "What is it?"

He mumbled something that I couldn't understand.

"Sunshine?"

"I haven't been taking my depression meds either."

My jaw dropped. "Will-"

"They make my stomach hurt, and I was thinking about killing myself all the time." He glared at the floor. "I don't want to take them anymore."

I rubbed his back in circles as he started softly sobbing. "Hey, shh, it's alright. I'll be sure to talk to the doctors. Maybe we just need to change the type or dosage, okay?"

Will nodded, suddenly clutching my shirt. I didn't care if he was getting snot and tears on it, I just cared about him. The fact that he wasn't taking his meds worried me. He had already made an attempt on his life once, and I didn't want it to happen again.

"Let's just change you into some pajamas and then you can sleep with me tonight." He nodded again as I practically carried him to the bathroom. I grabbed his pajamas and handed them to him. "Go ahead and change, Sunshine." I shut the door softly, knowing that slamming it would send him into a panic attack.

I set up the DVD player and inserted one of Will's favorites, The Little Mermaid. It was a good one for calming him down, unlike some of the more violent choices. Will still cried during Finding Nemo and The Lion King. As I finished, Will walked out of the bathroom in his striped blue pajamas, hugging his chest.

I smiled and guided him to the bed, where we both sat down. Grabbing the remote, I turned to him. "Is The Little Mermaid alright?"

He nodded numbly, subtly snuggling into my chest as he laid down on my lap. I grinned and turned on the movie.

Halfway in, Will started snoring softly, which was freaking adorable. I turned off the movie and laid down next to him. Life was perfect, and after tomorrow, it was going to be even better.

Chapter Text

Will's Point of View (POV)

I rubbed my eyes in exhaustion as I tumbled out of bed. I hadn't slept much, despite having Nico there. 

"Hey, Sunshine," Nico called cheerfully as I staggered into the small kitchen. We were saving money from Nico's job to buy a bigger apartment, but that day was far in the future.

"Hi," I mumbled. "What're you doing?" 

He laughed, nearly dropping a stack of slighty burned pancakes. "Making breakfast, obviously. I may have ignored the recipe," he added as he set them on a platter. "Butter or peanut butter, Sunshine?"

"Uh, I'll grab the peanut butter, I guess." I walked over to the pantry, grabbing the jar. 

"Thanks, Sunshine. I'll get us some water, too." He winked as he grabbed two glasses.

Time seemed to slow as Nico's grip slipped on one of the glasses, sending it crashing to the floor.

I flinched and collapsed on the floor, though well away from the shards, thinking about my mother as I slipped into a panic attack.

He came home from school one day to find his mother slumped in a chair, the lights turned off. Will would see the glint of the beer bottle. He wet his lips nervously. "M-mom?"

She didn't move, instead she quietly said, "You're late getting home, William."

"Well, ye-"

"I thought I said to come home at 3:30. And here you are, half an hour late."

Will didn't like where this was going. "I can explain, Mom, Mr. Hernandez said-"

"That's bullshit!" she screamed, throwing her beer bottle at the ground. The shatter of the glass resounded through the dining room. "Go to your fucking room, William."

Will stumbled into a run for his room, ignoring the pain as he stepped on the shards. She was getting worse.

Nico's Point of View (POV)

I scolded myself as I saw Will fall to the floor. It was my fault for dropping the glass, I should have been more careful. 

Dammit, I thought. Not a panic attack. "Hey, Sunshine?" I said calmly as I steadied him, looking into his glassy blue eyes. "Focus on my voice, it's gonna be alright."

All of a sudden, he snapped back. Will started to hyperventilate, desperately reaching for me. "Shh, Sunshine," I soothed as he cried, tears dripping on the tile. 

He couldn't slow down his breathing no matter how hard he attempted to. "N-n-nico-"

"Will, breathe in for four seconds, breathe out for seven seconds, okay?  Copy my breathing." I exaggerated my breathing and hoped that Will would do the same.

Slowly, he stopped hyperventilating. Will hiccuped. "I-I'm sorry..."

I shushed him. "It's not your fault, I just want to know what triggered you."

"My mother, she...she was an alcoholic when I was in grade school." He shivered. "She used to hit me, too. I always had to come home at a certain time or else..." He seemed unable to keep going.

I was quiet. I had never known about Will's family, only that his dad had died of cancer when Will was two. "Well, why don't you just sit here while I clean up the mess, and then we can eat."

He nodded and watched me go get the broom and dustpan. "Neeks?"

I looked up, glass clinking. "Yeah, Sunshine?"

"Can we watch The Little Mermaid again?" he asked sheepishly. 

I beamed. "Of course, Sunshine, we'll watch it after a real breakfast."

 

Chapter Text

Nico's Point of View (POV)

After eating and finishing cleaning up the glass, I called Percy. 

"Hey man, what's up?" he answered nonchalantly. 

"Hey, Percy. I have to go refill Will's medications, do you think you can come over?" I lowered my voice even though Will was watching The Little Mermiad again. 

There was a pause. "Yeah, of course, dude. Do you want me to come by myself or do you think he can handle someone else?"

I chewed on my lip before answering. "Who?"

"Jason or Annabeth."

"I think it would be better with just you," I reasoned. "At least until he's back on medication."

"Okay, I'll come right over. It'll probably take ten minutes."

"Okay, thanks, Percy," I said before hanging up. Will and I had known Percy and his friends (Jason and Annabeth) since high school, so it was nice to have people to rely on.

I walked into my room, briefly standing in the way of the TV screen. Will frowned. "Are you leaving?"

Shit. I turned to look at him. "Yeah, Sunshine. Percy is going to come over while I go get your meds, okay?"

His frown grew deeper as he completely ignored the singing coming from the TV. "Can't I come, too?"

"Well, I thought it would be better if you stayed home today and I went alone."

Will sighed. "Fine," he said finally, turning back to the movie.

I quickly got dressed in my black jeans and aviator jacket in the bathroom. Right when I was finished fixing my hair, I heard the doorbell ring suddenly. I also heard Will's small yelp.

I walked over to him. "It's just Percy," I comforted before hearing Percy ring the doorbell again.

I hurried to the door before he could ring it yet again. 

"Hey, Nico!" He beamed at me. 

I smiled back. "Hi, Percy. Will's in the bedroom."

"Cool. So are you just gonna leave right now?"

"Yep."

"Do you know how long it will take?"

I shook my head. "When Will got his prescription the first time, it took about an hour 'cause he had to get evaluated."

"Oh okay, I'll just go talk to him. Have fun, I guess."

"You too," I called as he left for the bedroom. I grabbed my wallet and my aviator jacket, not caring that I still had my sweatpants and ratty shirt on from last night. "Love you, Will!" I closed the door behind me as soon as I heard his faint "I love you, too."

Chapter Text

I walked into the psychiatrist's office, wincing as the hinges creaked in the silence of the room. Several patients looked at me in curiosity. I gulped. I had only came here once without Will. That was the time that the psychiatrist informed me of possible side effects of his Zoloft and Xanax.

The receptionist cleared her throat, obviously annoyed as she flicked her light brown tresses over her shoulder. I hastily stepped up to the counter and in my peripheral vision, I could see the placard reading "Clarisse" in bold lettering. 

I met her steely glare. "Um, I don't have an appointment, can I talk to Dr. O'Shea though?"

She sighed and turned to her ancient-looking computer. After a few moments of her clicking and scrolling, she said, "I guess it's your lucky day, he's free right now. Are you the patient?"

I shook my head. "No, William Solace is. He's not able to come, though."

"Okay, may I see your I.D.?" I handed it to her wordlessly. Clarisse forced a smile on her face as she handed it back to me. "Go ahead and have a seat, Mr. di Angelo."