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Tell me that you love me anyway

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Lydia’s nails were blue.

 

Well, what was the rest of the nail polish was blue anyway. And two minutes never felt so long in her entire life. She doesn’t know if sitting is a best choice than her frantically passing.

 

Perhaps late periods, constant vomiting and tender breasts aren’t alarming signs. God ! Who’s she’s trying to fool. But at this point she may do anything to not have the urge to look at the test and if thinking positively does that, she’s fine with it.

 

But trying to think about not think about the test, only makes her want to look at the test even more.

 

It’s the only test at this point in her life that she doesn’t want a positive result out of it. She thinks that no eighteen year old girl with three months in a relationship with another eighteen year old boy wants a positive result on a pregnancy test. Because she might be pregnant. With an actual baby. Stiles’ baby. Stiles. Whom she just drove all the way to Virginia to start on his dream career. Stiles, the love of her entire life.

 

So, excuse her for acting so nervous( or terrified, or horrified, or traumatized or - any other ed that has a bad meaning). But maybe, she is not pregnant, and this whole scenario of ruining someone’s life is not going to happen at all.

 

Oh, but when has life ever been easy for her?And that’s why, when picks up the test and takes a look at the big and very red positive sign she realizes that Murphy’s Law is her best friend.

 

It’s two weeks later, after three mental breakdowns that she decides that she cannot ruin Stiles life this way. It’s not that she thinks he would hate to have a baby with her, it’s quite the opposite. He would give up everything for them and she can’t let him do that. So Lydia empties her bank account to the last drop and lives to New York in the middle of the night, not letting anyone know. Four weeks pregnant, alone and jobless.

 

Eight months later, after a lot more vomiting, back pains, feet pains- or any kind of pain at all, her baby was born.

 

Ben, she names him breathless and sore, after a really long and painful labor.  Benjamim Martin-Stilinski was born with seven pounds, nineteen inches and beautiful and big green eyes, moles everywhere and a tuff of downy brown hair. Looking absolutely tiny inside his light blue blanket.

 

And after one month of no sleep and a never ending crying she lets her mom meet Ben, because well, she doesn’t know anything about babies and she cannot for the life of her, figure it out how to make an infant stop crying and she has a felling that Stiles would know, Stiles would definitely want to make his baby boy stop crying, but no, she can’t do this to him after everything he’s been through.

 

So yeah, she had a beautiful little boy that is the spitting image of his father, aside from his eyes. She hid him from the rest of the world including Stiles knowing perfect well that, that decision would come later to bite her in the ass.

 

She managed to raise him for five years, while dealing with math school and really shitty jobs, but what she wants most in the world is for Stiles to meet him and be the hero that she told Ben he is. But the fear of rejection stills lingers. But she knows Murphy’s Law loves her.

 

And that’s why on the worst possible days for an emotional reencounter to happen it does. She’s leaving a coffee shop when it happens , rushing her son who’s looking fascinatingly at the colorful donuts at the shop’s display. Then suddenly she bumps straight into him.

 

Stiles.