Work Header

To Tame a Thief

Chapter Text

Testing! Testing!




I'm fragile don't bully me!

(To the sound of that military chant... you know the one.)

Chapter Text

James' interview:

"Slagathor Lickmytits." [actual name is James What]

What do you typically have for breakfast?
"I dunno... probably something sweet that I can shovel into my mouth while doing shit, like cereal without the milk cause I'm not a pussy."

What do you typically have for dinner?
"Something like Taco Bell if I'm... working... late, and Chinese food or pizza if I'm not doing anything."

What is a dish you can cook perfectly?
*Three minutes of loud laughter* "Oh shit bro are you being serious? You are!" *Several more minutes of cackling*

Do you have any pets?
"Nah, I can't take good care of myself let alone a dependent, and attachments only weigh you down if you do what I do."

What is your job?
"Either you know it or you don't, and it seems like you don't so next question!"

How is your relationship with your family?
*He proceeded to remain silent for a while* "What family?"

What is your favorite book?
"People still out here reading books, couldn't be me lmao." [He said lmao out loud]

What is one quote that you live by?
"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain