“Luo Binghe” was a most popular novel series, as written by Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, featuring a very extremely shamelessly overpowered protagonist attracting affections of every single member of female species ranging from sweet school mates to a renowned black widow.
Despite the clichéd plot, tons of plot holes, and a gratuitous sprinkle of deux ex machina to have the protagonist win every single time against his Dark Lord nemesis, Shen Yuan still swallowed all seven books in a go, because it was magic. Using magic, breathing magic, being magic... Because deep within Shen Yuan there was a little boy that never heard –
“Congratulations, A-Yuan! You are a wizard!”
The next thing Shen Yuan knew, as he sleepily wandered in search of food, slipped on the stairs, hitting his head just that little bit too hard, that the moment he came back into consciousness, he was in an entirely new body. Or, to be more accurate, Shen Yuan was firmly attached to the back of Shang Qinghua’s head.
It was almost the dream come true, him transmigrating into the most magical world of “Luo Binghe”, if not for the little fact souring Shen Yuan’s mood. Even between the two characters sharing his family name, Shen Yuan would rather become the dour faced scum teacher Shen Jiu verbally abusing the students in his care, than the main villain Shen Qingqiu, better known as Lord Voldemort, a person most proficient at attempting to murder the OP protagonist every single book and not succeeding even once.
Alas! Shen Yuan was Shen Qingqiu, and having lost his body some ten years ago to the infant Luo Binghe, as unbelievable as that sounds, he, if guessing the timeline and his surroundings, has just attached himself to the back of Shang Qinghua’s head in what is to become a most foolish plan to infiltrate Hogwarts the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and not steal the philosopher’s stone.
It was the first of June 1991, a dingy room in an Albanian countryside inn, and a whimpering Shang Qinghua prostrating himself before the voice in his head.
“Stop, Stop!” the voice said, “Get up!”
As it was, the voice neither appreciated Shang Qinghua’s extreme lack of spine, nor the fantastic view upon the somewhat white ceiling. Instead, Shen Qingqiu’s voice demanded Shang Qinghua’s full cooperation in restoring Shen Qingqiu’s actual body, unless, as Shen Qingqiu noted, Shang Qinghua desires to find himself perfectly dead (sucked out, burned up) within a year. Parasites are obviously not healthy.
Shang Qinghua promptly burst into tears. Shen Qingqiu attempted to facepalm, failed for the lack of working appendages, and considered his options. For all that Shen Qingqiu was not a vegetarian, he had it on a good authority, that a diet of unicorn blood was prone to cause indigestion. To avoid expanding his food selection, and in the name of his currently non-existing privacy, the faster Shen Qingqiu separates from his crying host (it is not you, it is me) – the better.
It was the first day of summer before Luo Binghe’s first year of Hogwarts, and almost two months before the philosopher’s stone is moved from the Gringotts vault. Admittedly, there was no information in the books as to when exactly the stone arrived at the Wizarding bank. It would be too sad (too canon) for them to break in, open the vault, and find it empty.
To be on a safe side, Shen Qingqiu could wait till the seventh month dies, boldly contest the protagonist’s luck, and snatch the stone right under the protagonist’s nose, for sure triggering a marvellous run and chase scene with Gringotts certified mine carts. Moments in, Shen Qingqiu beautifully crashes into a stone wall, falls some fifty meters, and lands a bloody heap next to a fire-breathing dragon promptly eviscerating Shen Qingqiu’s sad remains…
The more elegant solution is, of course, to arrive early.
“Do you have any idea how to break into Gringotts?” Shen Qingqiu asks conversationally, frantically trying to remember if he could polyjuice into a goblin.
“Sure” Shang Qinghua answers, and goes into a perfect narration on Gringotts security and the lack thereof.
Shang Qinghua, Shen Qingqiu decided – idly watching his dearest minion draw an upturned pentagram with a shimmering red stone, then sprinkle its insides with a number of exotic ingredients such a bone dust (from the father) and basilisk scales (vastly overpriced, from black market) – was surprisingly competent for a canon fodder. Since Shen Qingqiu, being but a voice in a head, was still struggling to access his (the original good’s) knowledge, it was all the more valuable that Shang Qinghua not only claimed competence in both Gringotts sightseeing and body restoration rituals, he delivered.
After half an hour of nonsensical chant, a veil of smoke and a pinch of lightning, Shen Qingqiu stood tall, slender and corporeal. Shang Qinghua prostrated himself beneath the Dark Lord’s feet. The Dark Lord took a step forward, bent over, and patted Shang Qinghua on his fair head. Shang Qinghua promptly lost consciousness. Shen Qingqiu sought a bathroom.
Shen Qingqiu had eerie Avada Kedavra green eyes, just as the original good’s go-to spell. In contrast, Luo Binghe started with dark eyes, but as his powers and temper grew, they turned Crucio red, as if to signify: There is death. And there are worse ways to die.
Except for the eyes (porcelain skin, delicate features, a curtain of ink black hair) there was hardly anything interesting about Shen Qingqiu’s new body. Shen Yuan, as a monster enthusiast, was looking towards long spidery fingers, lack of nose, dark protruding veins on a slick skull… Hell, at least give him a hemipenis! Instead, he was disappointingly human.
Looking closer (twisting and turning), Shen Qingqiu found a number of light green scales on the base of his neck and in some other hard to get to – sad, secret – places, no one can ever see.
Afterwards, Shen Qingqiu glared at the mostly intact (useless) philosopher’s stone, and ordered it to be returned to the vault seven hundred and thirteen. No need to alarm his enemies as to his updated physicality.
His magical condition, at least, appeared satisfactory. Reuniting with his wand, Xiu Ya, thirteen and a half inches of sweet yew wood, it glowed a soft white light upon touch, and it was as if thousands of little stars exploded under his fingertips and he could fly. In actuality, Shen Qingqiu can fly, as longs as he remembers how.
He could gather his things and fly all the way to Australia.
“Dear customer, please refrain from abandoning the protagonist’s close proximity,” a mechanical voice echoed in Shen Qingqiu’s head. “The Dark Lord and the Boy-Who-Lived are bound by unbreakable ties of fate.”
The voice in Shen Qingqiu’s head appeared shortly after Shen Qingqiu himself ceased to be a voice in Shang Qinghua’s head (else it would have clearly been too many voices), and introduced itself as the sponsor of Shen Yuan’s little trip to the Wizarding World. Not fond of freeloading, this “System” demanded of Shen Yuan that he fulfils a variety of obligations, including but not limited to fixing the plot holes, developing the side characters, and worst of all – follow the plot to an unreasonable extent.
“How about… I grab Luo Binghe, include him among my things, and then we move to Australia?” Shen Qingqiu tries.
The voice in his head is merciless.
Shen Qingqiu gains a whole new understanding for Shang Qinghua.
Denied a life away from the protagonist, Shen Qingqiu develops a most promising, brand-new scheme of hugging the protagonist’s thighs. For majority of the book series, Luo Binghe was a pure little flower grateful for every kindness and sign of sympathy. Despicable villain, as Shen Qingqiu is, he shall steal the protagonist’s heartfelt affections by being nice to the protagonist!
It is surprisingly easy to put the plan into motion. By September the 1st Shen Qingqiu leaves Shang Qinghua a most devoted housekeeper. The house - a cosy little cottage purchased by the original goods – is a hike away from the next Muggle town, and vastly detached from any Wizarding property. Shang Qinghua disappears.
Shang Qinghua teaches Defence against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts.
It is magic beyond the meagre properties of polyjuice potion. Shen Qingqiu wears a unique, hand-crafted armlet laid with rare gemstones. An alternate appearance is bound to the artefact, Shen Qingqiu requires but a parseltongue password to switch between being himself and being the person they expect him to be.
It is the Welcoming Feast. Little first years flood into the Great Hall. Luo Binghe appears a particularly tiny fish, if not for the spell of his name (for being the Boy-Who-Lived, infant vanquisher of Dark Lord) summoning avid attention.
Luo Binghe puts on the Sorting Hat, and the hat screams: “Slytherin!”