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This is Normal, I Promise

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Hunk was a good person, or at least, he thought of himself as a good person. He hoped that he was a good person, but, at the same time, he wasn’t too sure how he had gotten himself into this mess.

Wait, no, he knows exactly how this happened, and it was all Pidge’s fault.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves Pidge. She was one of his best friends, one of the only people he felt that he would house share with without getting angry at them constantly, and one of the only people in the world who he thinks that understands him. She knew how to make him relax and how to make him feel comfortable, and he made sure that she ate and went to bed and just took care of herself properly.

On the other hand, it was completely, 100%, no doubt about it, her fault that there was a confused demon standing in the middle of their shared living room at 9 o’clock in the morning.

Now, some further explanation is probably needed, wasn’t it?

Well, the previous night (which just so happened to be Halloween), Pidge decided that the best way to spend the night was not to give out candy to small kids (she couldn’t stand them), not to go trick or treating themselves (because it would be boring, she had said), or even to go along to one of Matt’s awful parties. Instead, they stayed at home, ate some cheap candy that they bought themselves, and watched some awful horror films and talked about how unrealistic it all was.

Then, Pidge wanted to prove it to Hunk how unrealistic it all way, by doing a demon summoning and seeing how it was never, ever, ever, going to work.

(‘This is why white people die in the first place,’ Hunk thought quietly to himself as he stared at the demon, with longish black hair, bright yellow eyes that seemed a bit unnatural for a demon and a small knife that filled Hunk with a lot of fear, fear that he believed that was proper for the situation.)

They searched up some ‘spells’ online, giggling quietly to themselves as they made their pentagram and snorting when they lit their candles and they couldn’t stop laughing as they said the spell in their bad Latin.

Then, as they thought, nothing happened. They joked about it, joked about a demon getting them in their sleep or beginning to see bad visions or whatever else happens to people in horror films when they do something as stupid as summoning a demon. They said that the guy who wrote the article, named Adam of all people, made it as a joke for people to think that there was a real way to summon demons and that he must be laughing in his house at how much traffic his site gets.

They had then gone to sleep not long after, as Pidge had a class very early the next day. Hunk had woken up that morning and started to tidy up their mess from the night before, putting all the sweet wrappers in the bin, picking up a leftover pizza, intending for it to go into the fridge for someone (Pidge) to eat later. Except, Hunk accidentally dropped the pizza onto the pentagram that they had left out last night, which made him sigh quickly before going to the kitchen, intending to get something that would help him clean up the mess that he had just made.

When he had come back to the living room with a tea towel and some cleaning spray (the grease  could be so hard to get out of the carpet, he didn’t want it to stain and for them to lose out on their deposit), he stopped in his step and blinked at the other guy standing in the middle of his living room, his arms crossed and a grumpy frown on his face.

“Uh, hey?” Hunk asked, and the demon nodded his head.

“I take it you’re the guy who summoned me?” he asked, sighing when Hunk nodded his head, looking down at the pentagram that was beneath his feet. “You did a shitty job of it. I’ve never known anyone to take so long to do it,” He moaned, before licking his lips, making Hunk gulp. Was he going to be eaten, for not appeasing him sooner? Was he going to die just because he and Pidge were trying to have a laugh and it backfired on them horribly?

“However, the sacrifice was really good, I’ve never had that before. What was it?” He asked, an innocent expression filling his face and, for a teeny-tiny moment, Hunk could believe that this was just a weird human being standing in the middle of his flat, not some demon from hell that was about to kill him.

“You’ve never had pizza before?” Hunk asked, shocked out of his own mind. Did hell not have a pizza place for all the hardworking demons to go visit and chill. Outrageous.

“Is that what it’s called?” he asked while he fiddled with his knife, flipping it between his fingers, seeing how fast he could go. “Is it possible to get it hot?” he asked, with a curious tilt to his head. He looked too adorable to be a demon, and Hunk suddenly got very, very protective about this.

He wondered if it was possible to adopt demons like it was to adopt a puppy, because if it was, then he wanted to adopt this one.

“That’s it, we are having pizza, right now,” Hunk said, going into the freezer and pulling out the first pizza there was. Classic cheese and tomato, a nice way to introduce someone to pizza.

“Uh,” the demon stuttered, still not moving from their spot in the pentagram, “We still haven’t made a deal…” Hunk turned around to look at him again and gave a happy sigh at the lost face the demon was pulling.

He was a puppy.

Shame that the flat that he was renting had a policy about pets.

“Oh,” Hunk said, before frowning, “How does a deal work? Because, if it’s something to do with the whole ‘sell your soul for a corn chip’ thing then I really don’t want to do it,” Hunk replied, and the demon shook his head.

“No, we only collect souls for deals that require a lot of energy from us, like making someone rich or famous or curing someone of a fatal illness or bring someone back from the dead, but that last one has a lot of rules of its own,” he explained. Hunk nodded. That made sense.

“So, if I was to feed you pizza, hot out of the oven, how much would that get me?” Hunk asked, and the demon shrugged.

“I don’t know, I’ve never had a payment in advance, humans don’t really have that in mind when they summon me,” he mused, looking around the room, his yellow eyes getting caught on the small peels of paint and the scratches on the floor, the wrappers that still littered the sofa and the dirt stains that were ingrained into the carpet. “How about I tidy the place up for you? The better the pizza is, the better the tidying will be,” he offered. Hunk nodded with a smile on his face, then frowned suddenly.

“We’re not going to have to kiss, are we? Because, don’t get me wrong, you’re clearly a good-looking guy, to a human at least, I have no idea what counts for beautiful down in hell, but I’m not really into kissing, and not because you’re a guy, it’s more because I just don’t like the whole transferring of saliva thing because that’s got to be biohazardous in every way that it can be,” Hunk rambled, and the demon’s yellow eyes widened the longer the word vomit went on, surprised that the human across to him didn’t take a single breath of hair during this time.

“What makes you think that we need to kiss? That would be a stupid way to seal a deal,” he replied, “We just shake hands and then get on with whatever we’ve got to do,” Hunk nodded in understanding, then he moved over to the demon, shaking his hand. The demon smiled, his grip tighter than Hunk thought it would be (otherworldly super strength was a thing then, he wouldn’t get on their bad side then, not that he was planning to, nor did he want to, in the first place).

Hunk led him into the kitchen and showed him where he could sit, which the demon took gratefully, sitting at the small table while Hunk set about putting the frozen pizza into the oven. This was probably the earliest that he had ever cooked pizza, but this was not normal circumstances in the slightest.

An awkward silence grew the longer the pizza took, so Hunk looked up from the oven to direct the demon to the table, where the demon quickly took his seat, his eyes catching a hold of the wear and tear of the room, the dents in the table, the mismatched chairs, the chips in the countertops.

“So, err, do you have a name?” Hunk asked, before wincing slightly. Was he allowed to ask the name of the demon? Was he even allowed to know the name of the demon? The demon only sighed, seemingly unaware of Hunk’s now internal battle.

“Did you not read anything about me before you summoned me?” he asked, and Hunk only shrugged, his heart in his throat.

“There wasn’t anything like a name on the website we found,” he muttered, pretending to check up on the pizza so he wouldn’t have to look at the demon.

“Website? Oh, I am going to kill Adam…” The demon muttered, and there were no words to describe the sudden fear that flooded Hunk.

“My name is Keith,” Hunk looked up in surprise at the demon, at Keith, but before he could reply with anything, like his own name, for example, the oven started beeping, so instead he focused on not burning himself as he took the tray holding the pizza out of the oven.

He quickly sliced it into eight pieces, then placed them all on a plate, before placing it in front of the demon, in front of Keith. His eyes lit up in excitement (as much as pure yellow eyes could light up), and he started rushing into his meal, eating the hot food at a pace was otherworldly, as Hunk knew that any other human being would have to wait for the food to cool slightly before eating it like the demon was.

When he was halfway through his meal, slowing down to savour the flavour, he looked back up at Hunk frowning slightly, making Hunk turn away and realize that he was staring at the stranger at his dinner table, though it was a reasonable response to everything that was going one.

“So, err, what do you think of it?” Hunk asked tentatively, and Keith swallowed his mouthful, the corner of his lips now stained with tomato sauce.

“It’s quite good actually,” he said with surprise evident in his voice, “Better than I thought it would be at least, and better than the one that I had earlier.” Hunk nodded to the demon’s words, unsurprised to find that the demon enjoyed his pizza hot and fresh rather than cold and a day old.

“That’s good!” Hunk said with a smile, pretending that the yellow eyes and the knife didn’t make him feel like wetting himself where he sat. the demon only hummed as he took another bite of the pizza.

It didn’t take long for the demon to finish off his plate, licking his fingers clean of grease and sauce.

“Well, we have a deal then,” Keith said as he stood up from his seat, brushing the crumbs off of his leg onto the floor while Hunk stood up too, banging his leg on the table as he did so, much to his embarrassment.

“A deal?” Hunk asked, before remembering what they said before making the food, the deal about having a clean house in return for the meal. Hunk nodded at Keith, who let out a smirk of his own. Hunk blinked, and then his guest disappeared just as fast as he came.

It was surprisingly very easy to get on with the rest of his day as nothing happened.