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Merch's Birthday

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“YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! I’M SIGNED WITH A RECORD COMPANY AND I’M ABOUT TO GET THE CAREER OF A LIFETIME! LET ME OUT!” Travis bellowed as he was shoved into the cop car. Ennis smirked at the hulking redneck.

“See you in Hell Leto!” he taunted as he began to flip Leto off with both fingers while doing a small victory dance. A cop looked at him. “No taunting the felons, sir.” Ennis snapped his finger. “Damn!” As the cop car took him away, Ennis headed over to Miracle and Larry. “Back to the party?”

When they got back, the party was at a bit of a lull. This instantly changed when everyone saw that the birthday baby was back, resuming to its high level of activity. Larry took a seat to rest and collect himself. All of a sudden he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey Lare. Mind if I sit next to ya?”

“Sure.” Ennis sat right down. “So…..a little kitty told me you and Little Miss Sunshine are now a thing.”


“How long since?”

“Last week actually.”

“Cool. I’m happy for you.” Ennis inhaled and exhaled. “Sorry about the shitty things I said in the staff room. About Miracle being, y’know a flake, and stupid? Helen told me about….him and I had an epiphany.”

“That you are indeed a conceited, chauvinistic asshole?”

“Yeah. Honestly, I think I liked the idea of Miracle than Miracle herself. Like I saw her as just another lady? And that I could have her just because I could? You want her for life, man. I don’t know if I’m cut out for love or long term stuff y’know? I think I get that attitude from my dad. Plus…..I know how she feels.”


“My Uncle Sampson was like her ex” Ennis shook his head, staring distantly. “Angry. Violent. Controlling. Disrespectful. Horrible with money. A liar.”

“I guess you and Miracle are cut from the same cloth.” remarked Larry. “Single parent, blondes, good looking, labeled as dumb.”

“Pffft! No way! Miracle’s a sweetheart! I’m… But it doesn’t have to be that way anymore.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yep. I’ve got some growing up to do. From now on, expect a brand new Ennis. And I don’t mean one that comes for a few days after meeting the ‘love of his life’ and then leaving a few days later.”

“You promise?”

Ennis stuck out his pinky. “Promise.”

Larry smiled. “Does that mean you’re giving up that goofy outfit?” Ennis chuckled and fixed his hair back into his signature mini-spikes. “Yeah. It’s hard to climb on top of cars in these pants!”

Miracle walked out of the house and sat down next to Larry and kissed him on the cheek. “How’s my badass hubby and his sidekick doing?”

“Tired. Sore. I never want to taste salt water again. That bastard tried to drown me! Also, you’re the lifesaver Miracle. You knocked his hand away when he was about to strangle me!” Larry sighed. “I think I’ve had enough near death, crazy escapades for awhile.”

“Speak for yourself….” Ennis said straightening up in shock. The guests were running away screaming as Stuart was riding an irate pony like a rodeo cowboy while juggling cupcakes. As the crowd pushed out of the yard, Ennis Larry and Miracle made their way into the house. Sue chased after him.

“STUART! That boy never listens….”
In the house, the three took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. After a hefty exhale Miracle spoke up.

“Never a dull moment.”

“Nope.” remarked Ennis and Larry in unison.

“Next year you should consider just doing Chuck-E-Cheese’s and tying up Stuart so he doesn’t destroy the place.”

“Will do, Larrykins.” said Miracle as she rested her head on Larry’s shoulder.