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Interlude: the group chat >:D

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Tenya Iida has created a new server: Class 1-A Connectivity Chat

*[Mod]Tenya Iida has added [Mod]Aizawa-sensei, [Mod]Yagi-sensei, [Mod]Momo Yaoyarozu, and 18 others*

[Mod]Tenya Iida: Welcome to the Class 1-A Connectivity Chat, everyone! I created this with Aizawa-sensei’s permission as a way for all of us to reach each other and our teachers even if we don’t have each others’ numbers. I, Yaoyarozu, Aizawa-sensei, and Yagi-sensei will be moderating this chat (Although Aizawa-sensei has made it clear that he’s going to keep everything except the #urgent channel muted, so Yagi-sensei kindly volunteered to be the active teacher mod in his place). There will be 7 channels:

#general (for talking and chatting)

#urgent (for emergencies and time-sensitive matters only)

#academics (for homework questions, scheduling group work sessions, and tutoring)

#discourse (for any friendly debates or questions for the group)

#dorms (communication concerning our shared living space!)

#memes (a space for people to *responsibly* mess around)

#mod (a space to directly contact mods in case of a problem with the server or another user)

General rules will be as follows!

  • Please keep all chats to the appropriate channels. Don’t clutter up the #general chat!
  • Do not abuse any of the channel spaces, especially not #urgent.
  • Be respectful (any disrespectful parties will be warned twice and then banned without warning. Mineta has been pre-emptively banned from all channels except #urgent and #academics by unanimous agreement amongst the mods.)
  • No spam
  • No excessive chatting after midnight; keep late-night chats to separate conversation servers, please.
  • Channel-specific rules will be listed in the pinned messages of those channels
  • Violations of these rules will result in two warnings, and then you will receive the same treatment as Mineta

If anyone has any suggestions to improve this server, let us know in the #mod chat and we’ll put it to a popular vote. This is all of our space, so we all get a say in how it’s run. Thank you!

*[Mod]Tenya Iida has pinned a message to the #general channel*

*Mina Ashido is typing*

Mina Ashido: this is it. this is the moment I’ve been waiting for. A GROUP CHAT!!!!!

[Mod]Tenya Iida: Please do not make me regret this.

Mina Ashido: Too late bro

*Mina Ashido has changed their nickname to Bubblegum*

Tsuyu Asui: Oh boy, this actually looks fun!

*Tsuyu Asui has changed their nickname to froggo*

Izuku Midoriya: yeah, definitely! Hmm I’ve gotta think of something to change mine to

froggo: come on Iida, what’s a couple harmless nicknames? Join in on the fun

[Mod]Tenya Iida: … maybe just a couple harmless nicknames….

*[Mod]Tenya Iida has changed their nickname to [Mod]Nyoom*

froggo: yay!!!

Izuku Midoriya: ooh, how’d you get the fancy text?!

[Mod]Nyoom: mod privileges!

Izuku Midoriya: Nice. Hey guys, what should I change my nickname to?

*Shoto Todoroki has changed their nickname to Iceman*

Iceman: Midoriya I know EXACTLY what your nickname should be

Izuku Midoriya: ohworm??.jpeg

Izuku Midoriya: wait

Izuku Midoriya: OH YOU MEAN THAT

Iceman: yeah that >:)

Izuku Midoriya: oh god should I do it?

Iceman: do it. DO IT.

Ochako Uraraka: what are we encouraging Deku to do?

Ochako Uraraka: oh also

*Ochako Uraraka has changed their nickname to who needs gravity*

Iceman: we’re trying to get him to change his nick to what is essentially a shitpost

Iceman: u know that inside joke I told u about

who needs gravity: Ohmygod THAT?

Iceman: yeah that

who needs gravity: BAAHAHAHHAAH OMG DEKU DO ITTTTTT

[Mod]Nyoom: You incorrigible heathens. STOP CORRUPTING THE ONLY PURE THING LEFT IN OUR CLASS, PLZ

[Mod]Yagi-sensei: hello, how are we corrupting young Midoroya???!

[Mod]Nyoom: Correction: one of only TWO pure things left in our class

*[Mod]Yagi-sensei has changed their nickname to [Mod]the one, the only, All Might*

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: these nickname things are kinda fun!

*[Mod]the one, the only, All Might has changed [Mod]Aizawa-sensei’s nickname to [Mod]gucci eyebags*

[Mod]Nyoom: Nevermind. Midoriya you are the only pure one left PLEASE DON’T ABANDON ME

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: lmao

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: it’s not like Aizawa is gonna see this anyway

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: also, Midoriya, whatever it is, do it. don’t let your dreams be memes

Bubblegum: OMG!! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS??!!

Bubblegum: screenshotting that. Yagi-sensei memed. Omfg

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: Young Ashido. My dear. I run my own social media pages. I have a Twitter. I am well-versed in internet culture and you should NOT be this surprised.

Bubblegum: But? But??? The old man shtick!

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: is just that. an act.

Izuku Midoriya: you guys realize he’s got a 6/5 intelligence, right?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: yeah, everyone seems to forget that for some reason. I feel like I should be offended. Should I be offended?

Izuku Midoriya: well, you do pull of the ‘old man’ act very well. You’re very good at pretending to be dumber than you are!

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: why thank you, my boy!

Bubblegum: Am I the only one scared right now? Anyone else re-evaluating all their life choices? Just me? Okay cool.

Fumikage Tokoyami: no ur right, that’s scary

Fumikage Tokoyami: also

*Fumikage Tokoyami has changed their nickname to hot topic manager*

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: HA! How fitting

Izuku Midoriya: okay that’s it, you’ve convinced me. I’M DOING IT!!

Iceman: YES >:)

*Izuku Midoriya has changed their nickname to All Might’s secret lovechild*

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: dslfjs;dlfjslkdfjsdfjsdklfjsd?????

Bubblegum: that’s it, you broke him

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: THAT is what we were encouraging you to do?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: THAT is an inside joke w/ you guys???

All Might’s secret lovechild: lol yeah! In the beginning of first semester there was a little while there were Todoroki legit thought you were like. my ACTUAL dad

Iceman: guilty as charged.

hot topic manager: honestly? A fair assumption, I thought the same thing for a bit

froggo: I’ll admit, I had my suspicions

Iceman: *shrug* what can I say, I AM a sucker for a good conspiracy theory

who needs gravity: lol. Dad until proven otherwise!!

Iceman: ‘Dad until proven otherwise.’ I like that!

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might:

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: okay, I can see how such a thing *might* have crossed your minds

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: but as fond as I am of young Midorya, HE IS NOT MY BIOLOGICAL SON!

who needs gravity: not ur biological son… implying that… he IS your son in some other capacity besides biological?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: … no comment

Bubblegum: SDLKFJSDLFJSL;DFJLKSDJF ‘NO COMMENT’? Is that all you have to say for yourself, sir??! SIR?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: no comment

who needs gravity: @All Might’s secret lovechild what is the truth??

All Might’s secret lovechild: no comment

Bubblegum: AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

Direct message between All Might’s secret lovechild and the one, the only, All Might

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: lol how long should we keep them on tenderhooks?

All Might’s secret lovechild: at LEAST a week

All Might’s secret lovechild: It’s so funny to watch them implode

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: oohhh, you are too cruel!!

All Might’s secret lovechild: I’ve been known to have a mean streak from time to time >:)

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: okay but actually….

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: for real

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: you know I think of you like my own, right?

All Might’s secret lovechild: dskfjdslkfjslkfdjlkds All Might you don’t have to say that!!!!

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: no, I’m serious! I’ve… been meaning to tell you this for awhile, but I could never seem to get the words out? It seems easier to do it over a message somehow, if that’s okay with you

All Might’s secret lovechild: no that’s fine! Communication is hard, so I don’t mind messaging

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: Good, good. Thanks, that makes it easier. Here we go, then. *deep breath*

*[Mod]the one, the only, All Might is typing*

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: I just want to make sure you know how much you mean to me, and not just as my successor. It’s just… I dunno, it’s a lonely path we walk. I gave up on the idea of having children of my own a long time ago, and now it’s far too late for all that. But you’ve been like a son to me since you came into my life, and I’m so grateful for that. So… I don’t actually mind that much if people think I’m your dad? Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. If anything, it makes me happy. It’s a title I’d be honored to have, and it’s more than I deserve. So I just wanted to say thank you, my boy. Even if it’s not my place to say. I am so, SO proud of you, and I know you’ll continue to make me proud.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might:

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: hello? You still there, my boy?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: everything okay?

All Might’s secret lovechild: YES! Yes, sorry, I’m just. Maybe crying a little.

All Might’s secret lovechild: okay maybe crying a. A lot.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: oh god I’m sorry if I made it weird, we can just pretend I never said that if it makes you uncomfortable

All Might’s secret lovechild: NO NO NO! It doesn’t, it’s not weird! These are happy tears, I promise. I’m just. My heart is so full

All Might’s secret lovechild: you’re the best dad a kid like me could ask for, All Might. I’m so lucky to have you in my life in ANY capacity, and even more as a dad. So uuhhhh yeah. I’m giving you the BIGGEST hug when I see you tomorrow, so be prepared for that.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: looking forward to it ^u^

 

Server : Class 1-A Connectivity Chat, #general

Katsuki Bakugo: why can I hear Deku wailing all the way from the common room

*Katsuki Bakugo has changed their nickname to King Explosion Murder*

Ejiro Kirishima: aw c’mon babe, you’re gonna get kicked if you do that. Do something else

Katsuki Bakugo: like what?

*Ejiro Kirishima has changed their nickname to hardhead*

hardhead: Idk, something that fits you. Like uhhh…

hardhead: OH! I’ve got it! do Short-fuse, it’s very *you*

Katsuki Bakugo: sure fine whatever

*Katsuki Bakugo has changed their nickname to Short-fuse*

Short-fuse: Someone tell Deku to stop fuckin crying already

hardhead: oh yeah I forgot about that

hardhead: who’s making my buddy cry? I’ll beat the shit out of ‘em

who needs gravity: he’s good guys, it’s just happy tears!

hardhead: oh yeah? What about?

who needs gravity: Just Yagi-sensei being a dad in general. You know how they are.

hardhead: aww, so sweet! #Dadmightisreal

hardhead: those two honestly make ME want to cry manly tears, they’re just so. SO. Wholesome and pure???

Short-fuse: idc what kind of tears they are, just tell him to shut up

who needs gravity: will do!

who needs gravity:… wow

who needs gravity: okay WOW

hardhead: wut?

who needs gravity: I told Deku ‘Bakugo said shut up’ and he just… stopped. Shut off the waterworks instantly!

hardhead: oh damn

Short-fuse: the power of King Explosion Murder!!!!

who needs gravity: I mean. *shrug*. Whatever works.

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A Connectivity Chat, #general

Bubblegum: yo @all everyone who hasn’t got on here and changed their nick yet, COME AND DO IT!!! Koda is confused and wants a key of all the names but some of you haven’t changed ‘em yet! (Also his phone is dead so I’m speaking on his behalf lol).

*Mashirao Ojiro has changed their nickname to Monkey man*

Monkey Man: my b, I forgot

*Mezo Shoji has changed their nickname to Ninja Mask*

Yuga Aoyama: Ah yes, how could I forget!

*Yuga Aoyama has changed their nickname to Glitter Gay™*

*Kyoka Jiro has changed their nickname to punk prodigy*

*[Mod]Momo Yaoyarozu has changed their nickname to Crea-tea*

*Denki Kaminari has changed their nickname to slick as an electric eel!*

punk prodigy: nuh-uh, no way

[Mod]Crea-tea: sorry Kaminari, but she’s right. Nothin’ slick about you, honey.

*[Mod] Crea-tea has changed slick as an electric eel!’s nickname to Wheeeyyy*

Wheeeyyy: aww cmon guys!!! So mean!

Wheeeyyy: I’m calling abuse of mod privileges!! @[Mod]gucci eyebags

[Mod]gucci eyebags: Idk I think it suits you

Wheeeyyy: Whaaaa?? SO MEAN!! TToTT

[Mod]gucci eyebags: When you figure out how to go above 3 mil V w/out making urself useless, I’ll change it back.

punk prodigy: or the day he actually does something slick lmao

[Mod]gucci eyebags: ^^^ what she said

Wheeeyyy: understandable, have a nice day

*Hanta Sero has changed their nickname to Duck-tape*

Wheeeyyy: wait isn’t it supposed to be Duct Tape though? Not duck like the bird?

Duck-tape: yeah no that’s the joke! It’s supposed to be Duct Tape but it sounds like Duck-tape lol

Wheeeyyy: oh nice!!! I get it lol, that’s a good one Sero ;D

punk prodigy: it’s sad how they think they’re clever

*Toru Hagakure has changed their nickname to Ultimate Sneak*

Ultimate Sneak: lol sorry I was late to the party!!!

Bubblegum: no problem girlie, it’s all good now. Nice nick btw

Ultimate Sneak: lol thanks!

Bubblegum: Koda says he’s not sure what he wants to be nicknamed! @Mods any ideas?

[Mod]Crea-tea: Kyoka had a cute suggestion, it’s very Koda

Bubblegum: he says go ahead!

*[Mod]Crea-tea has changed Koji Koda’s nickname to 0wo*

Bubblegum: he says THANKS KYOKA AND MOMO! He loves it uwu, it’s so cute

punk pop: anything for my bestie! ^u^

Bubblegum: Is that everyone?

Monkey man: we’re missing Sato, eyy @Rikido Sato

Rikido Sato: sry I was distracted, what’re we doing?

Monkey man: scroll up dude

Rikido Sato: Oh, nicknames huh? Well, if it’s for Koda, then alright

*Rikido Sato has changed their nickname to pot brownies*

[Mod]Crea-tea: uhhhhhh

[Mod]Crea-tea: hmm

[Mod]Crea-tea: @[Mod]gucci eyebags Thoughts on that one?

[Mod]gucci eyebags: … I’ll allow it as long as it’s JUST a joke. Right?

pot brownies: oh of course!!! Ya boi’s not tryna get expelled today lol

[Mod]gucci eyebags: then that’s fine

Duck-tape: aww man, I’m not digging the anti-stoner attitude on here :l

[Mod]gucci eyebags: now hold on a hot second

*[Mod]gucci eyebags is typing*

pot brownies: ohworm??.jpeg

[Mod]gucci eyebags: never let it be said that I am anti-weed, the criminalization of weed is frankly a crime all on its own. If you ask me, Marijuana should be legalized both medically and recreationally, and that’s that on that. But my political views aside, YOU ARE ALL MINORS!!! You’re not allowed to have weed for the same reasons you’re not allowed to have alcohol, and especially on campus. So let’s all be clear: Aizawa-sensei is not anti-weed, Aizawa-sensei is anti- underage-intoxication-on-school-grounds. End of discussion.

Duck-tape: Aizawa-sensei is pro-weed RETWEET!!!

Wheeeyyy: lmao when did Aizawa-sensei turn into the cool dad?

[Mod]gucci eyebags: -_- don’t make me blacklist the subject. Because I’ll do it.

pot brownies: SSSHHHH don’t jinx it!!!

Wheeeyyy: oof sorry! Shutting up now :l

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A Connectivity Chat, #general

Short-fuse: which one of you fuckheads ate my goddamn spicy tuna roll, I was saving that!!!

[Mod]Crea-Tea: please move this to the appropriate channel!

Short-fuse: sure fine whatever

 

Server : Class 1-A Connectivity Chat, #dorm

Short-fuse: so. Who did it. fess up now and *maybe* I’ll let you live

Iceman: what happened?

Short-fuse: someone took my fuckin spicy tuna roll from the kitchen fridge and ATE IT is what happened. The box is in the trashcan and everything, not even a fuckin scrap of wasabi left. I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GODDAMMIT!!!

Short-fuse: listen fuckwad, whoever you are, the longer it takes to confess the more of a hurting Im gonna put on you, so you’re better off getting it over with NOW.

froggo:

Short-fuse: seriously, frog girl?? YOU?

froggo: in my defense, it wasn’t labeled and therefore I couldn’t have known it was yours

Short-fuse: okay, but like. labeled or not, you definitely knew it WASN’T yours

froggo: … you know, I forget sometimes that you’re an only child

Short-fuse: ???

Short-fuse: The fuck does that have to do with anything?

Iceman: ooohh, my friend

froggo: my sweet summer child

Short-fuse: W H A T

Iceman: listen.

Iceman: when you live in a house w/ siblings

Iceman: there is no such thing as ‘your’ food. Anything in the fridge is up for grabs unless you specifically label it.

froggo: tbh even if you label it that doesn’t guarantee safety

Short-fuse: what kind of fucked-up house rule is that

Iceman: *shrug* siblinghood is a free-for-all, my friend. It’s every man for himself out in the jungle

Short-fuse: Okay number one: Not ur fuckin friend Icyhot, so eat shit

Short-fuse: And number two: We’re just sharing a goddamn dorm, leave my shit alone and learn some fuckin manners, you heathens. we’re not siblings? None of us are???

froggo: oh no, it’s far too late for that. We all live together now, and we’re the same age and all sharing a space. It’s the jungle now. Sibling rules. You have to protect what’s yours from now on, or it becomes the collective.

Iceman: Sorry to break it to you, but you’re already one of us

froggo: one of us

Iceman: one of us

Short-fuse: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN M E A N

froggo: one of us

Iceman: one of us

Short-fuse: fuckin’ weirdos. I’m muting you

froggo: one of us

Iceman: one of us!

froggo: okay but wait tho, before you mute. are you still gonna kill me for eating your tuna roll

Short-fuse: … I’ll let it go this once because ur cool

froggo: I also warned you about the food rule

Iceman: *shrug* the more you know

Short-fuse: okay fine, yeah. I appreciate the heads-up

Short-fuse: but u owe me next time we have takeout night

froggo: understandable, have a nice day

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A Connectivity Chat

*[Mod]Crea-Tea has created the channel #private: TEACHERS ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!*

[Mod]Cre-Tea: God, Kyoka remind me how I let you talk me into this?

punk prodigy: because you love me uwu

[Mod]Crea-Tea: *sigh*

Bubblegum: oh SWEET! Is this just for us kids?

[Mod]Crea-Tea: that’s the idea. Aizawa-sensei has this chat muted and blocked, and Yagi-sensei has enthusiastically agreed to do the same so that we can have our own space, on the condition that Iida and I keep an eye out in case things get out of hand.

[Mod]Nyoom: please do not force us to shut this chat down. That being said, I am now going to mute this so that I don’t have to watch you godless heathens descend into madness. Anyone with complaints from this chat can dm me.

[Mod]Crea-Tea: same here.

Ultimate Sneak: boo, u whore

Bubblegum: hey, more fun for us!!!

Wheeeyyy: oh this is great. This is fantastic. FINALLY I can ask the gc my most burning question without fear of prying eyes!

Duck-tape: oh god, here we go again

Wheeeyyy: I have been waiting to ask you guys this for AGES and now that we have a chat w/ no mod, MY DAY HAS COME!!!!

hardhead: go again w/ what?

*Wheeeyyy is typing*

Duck-tape: hoe don’t do it

Wheeeyyy: does anyone besides me think Yagi-sensei’s Small Might form is cute as hell nowadays?? Or is it just me? Like. Dude can Get It™.

Duck-tape: oh my god

punk prodigy: bruh

Ultimate Sneak: ok but for real tho?

punk prodigy: Once again, Kaminari proves that he is completely unfathomable to the rest of humanity

pot brownies: ‘dude can get it’ more like dude needs to eat a sandwich

Wheeeyyy: Oh god I knew it, I’m weird R I P

punk prodigy: yeah sorry dude, gotta agree w/ Sato on this one tho.

Wheeeyyy: shamecube.jpeg

hot topic manager: Now hold the fuckin phone my good bitches

Duck-tape: ???

hot topic manager: I believe me and our dear friends @ Short-fuse and @hardhead had this conversation the other day and I would like them to back me up in saying you are all, objectively, wrong, and Kaminari is right.

hardhead: Yeah, Denki’s got the right idea!

All Might’s secret lovechild: why-would-you-say-something-so-contreversial-yet-so-brave.jpeg

Ultimate Sneak: YOU TOO MIDORIYA?

punk prodigy: Yeah I high-key thought you woulda run away from this argument *so* fast, isn’t this basically ur dad we’re talking about?

All Might’s secret lovechild: dlkfsjdlkfjsdf;lajdflksjfslkdfjslds AAAAHH???

punk prodigy: there he goes, we broke him

hot topic manager: Midoriya’s father-figure crisis aside, back to the original debate: All Might can still Get It™, @Short Fuse back me up on this

*Short Fuse is typing*

pot brownies: oh come on, what is HE gonna have to say?

hardhead: give the man a minute!

Short Fuse: Can’t believe I’m agreeing with shitty Deku on this one, but you shitheads have got it all fuckin wrong. All Might always has been and always will be h o t, and Yagi-sensei is too. Just because he no longer matches conventional standards of beauty doesn’t mean he’s suddenly ugly, he’s just got it going on in a different way now. It’s not like his fuckin bones changed when he lost all that weight, I mean come on!! Open ur fuckin eyes! Dude’s still got a killer jawline and he’s seven-foot-fuckin-two, and he’ll kick your ass one-handed SO THERE

Short Fuse: also, fuck u sugar-addict I’ve got PLENTY to say on it, just u fuckin watch me

*Short Fuse is typing*

hardhead: oh damn now you’ve REALLY set him off

who needs gravity: *slides in late w/ popcorn*

who needs gravity: what did we miss?!

GlitterGay™: what indeed!

Bubblegum: ooooOOOH spill the tea sis, I’m ready!!!

Short Fuse: Prepare to get schooled motherfuckers

Short Fuse: First of all: that man has literally given every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears in his body for the sake of our safety and peace of mind. Not only did he sacrifice his chance at a normal life so he could foster an unprecedented era of peace over the course of his career, we also LITERALLY watched him get beat to shit not once, but TWICE for the sake of our personal protection. He almost died, and now he has chronic health problems from his injuries (which are the cause for his appearance now, by the way), and you fucks have the fucking auDACITY to call him ugly?!

hardhead: okay babe back it up a second, nobody’s doubting everything he’s done for us. We all admire the shit out of him and we’re all grateful for the sacrifices he’s made. But you’ve got to admit, objectively speaking, he looks weird now

Short Fuse: fuck u shitty hair, I’m not done yet

hardhead: u kno what that’s fair

Short Fuse: Second of all: like I said, just because he doesn’t fit conventional beauty standards now doesn’t make him automatically ugly. Anyone who thinks that way is shallow. We live in a fuckin society where people can look like a literal reptile or have six fuckin arms and nobody bats an eye, so who’s to say Skinny-Might can’t be hot??! It’s not like his eyes suddenly turned puke-green overnight! He’s still got all the basic features, w/ the goddamn blue-eyes-gold-hair-beach-tan-perfect-smile bullshit. Who fuckin cares if he’s showing his age and his hair’s a goddamn mess, he’s allowed to be all those things after all he’s been through. It still doesn’t decrease his aesthetic value. It just changes it. If you stop comparing how he used to be to how he is now, and take his current appearance at face value instead, it’s really fuckin obvious how fuckin unfairly attractive that man is.

Short Fuse: third of all: have you seen the way that man dresses now? Listen here you fucks, my dad’s a fashion designer and I can say with professional confidence: Yagi-sensei’s fashion sense is fuckin ON-POINT. The scholar-chique look is IN, and ever since he started wearing tailored suits? It’s fuckin criminal, that shit should be illegal. His fuckin two-piece yesterday w/ the yellow dress shirt and the black tie cost more than our goddamn tuition, he wears a Rolex Submariner, the dude is loaded and he dresses like it. That ensemble w/ the cashemere shirt and the floral pattern shirt last week? And the goddamn Chelsea boots? My dad would have literally fainted. Yagi-sensei is no less than fashion model material and anyone who says otherwise can get fucked.

Short Fuse: and-thats-that-on-that.jpeg

who needs gravity: wow

who needs gravity: that’s the most I’ve ever seen him say in like

who needs gravity: ever

Bubblegum: who knew he could be so…. so….

GlitterGay™: ‘Eloquent’, mon ami?

Bubblegum: THAT’S IT! THAT’S THE WORD! Who knew Bakugo could be ELOQUENT?!

Ultimate Sneak: okay… I will admit that Yagi-sensei’s ass does look great in skinny jeans

who needs gravity: uh huh, an he’s got legs for miles and miles ;)

Wheeeyyy: *sniff sniff* I feel so validated right now, thank you Bakubro!

hardhead: God I’m so proud, look at him go, that is my fuckin BOYFRIEND ladies and gentlemen!!!!

Short Fuse: stfu you goddamn extras

Short Fuse: nobody insults All Might in my presence and fuckin gets away with it, you got that? End of discussion!

who needs gravity: heard that, thunder-cat!!

pot brownies: yeah that’s fair

Duck-tape: God I was so wrong, but I have seen the light. Thank you so much Bakugo, you’ve opened my eyes to a whole new world

hot topic manager: You’re welcome

Duck-tape: ??? Bakugo did all the work, you literally didn’t do anything except tag him

hot topic manager: again I say: you’re welcome

Short Fuse: whatever, all of you can suck my ass

Ultimate Sneak: @all vote y or y if you think All Might can still Get It™

Wheeeyyy: I, the OG All Might fucker in this chat, say y

hot topic manager: y

Duck-tape: y

who needs gravity: y

GlitterGay™: y

Ultimate Sneak: y

hardhead: y

Iceman: what are we talking about, who tagged me?

Iceman: oh, big y

pot brownies: oh damn, you too Todoroki?

pot brownies: Well alright then, I know when to admit defeat. Y

punk prodigy: y

froggo: y

froggo: also Jiro, you’re a lesbian??

punk prodigy: ok but if I wasn’t

froggo: fair

Wheeeyyy: oh my god you too Tsu?? Also where did you even come from

Monkey man: y

Wheeeyyy: YOU TOO OJIRO?

Monkey man: hell yeah man, bi and ready to die

All Might’s secret lovechild: oh my god

Wheeeyyy: uh oh

All Might’s secret lovechild: I just caught up on the convo and oH my gOD

hardhead: oh no, did we break him? shit he’s probably dying rn, lmao that’s pretty much his dad we’re talking abt fucking

punk prodigy: Midoriya.exe has stopped working

Wheeeyyy: yo @Iceman is Midoriya okay?

Iceman: oh no he’s fine, he’s laughing his ass off

Wheeeyyy: wait, for real?

Iceman: yeah he literally can’t breathe he’s laughing so hard

hardhead: I mean I guess it IS kinda funny??

Iceman: now he’s screenshotting?

All Might’s secret lovechild: Oh, this is gold

All Might’s secret lovechild: I am absolutely sending this to Aizawa-sensei

Wheeeyyy: wait what? WHAT NO

Wheeeyyy: BRO DON’T DO THIS TO ME

All Might’s secret lovechild: Oh I am, this is too good not to

punk prodigy: Midoriya

punk prodigy: Midoriya please

punk prodigy: puh-LEAZE tell me you are not sending screenshots of our conversation about the fuckability of Yagi-sensei, our teacher, to Yagi-sensei’s boyfriend, who is ALSO our teacher.

All Might’s secret lovechild: I am

Ultimate Sneak: ALDKFJSLDFJA;SKLFJS;DKFADJ NOOOOOOOO

hardhead: OH MY GOD how could you do us all dirty like this

hardhead: I thought you were our friend, I thought you were a good innocent boi, not pure evil clothed in human flesh!!!!!

pot brownies: NO

punk prodigy: Midoriya PLEASE

All Might’s secret lovechild: done and done

Wheeeyyy: TRAITOR!!!

Iceman: lmao, ‘et tu, brute??’

froggo: I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have nothing to be ashamed of

who needs gravity: seconded. If I die then I’m going w/ no regrets babeeyyy

hot topic manager: 10/10 would press y again

Monkey man: press f to pay respects

Wheeeyyy: oh my god Midoriya I cannot belIEVE you’d do this to us, SENSEI IS LITERALLY GOING TO EXPEL US. THAT’S HIS!! BF!!!

All Might’s secret lovechild: on the contrary: look!!!

*All Might’s secret lovechild has sent image attachments*

 

[Image description: Screenshots of Direct Message between [Mod]gucci eyebags and All Might’s secret lovechild. Underneath the screenshots of the above conversation are the following messages: 

All Might’s secret lovechild: the verdict is in, Yagi-sensei is hot. Looks like you’re not alone, sensei!!!

[Mod]gucci eyebags:

[Mod]gucci eyebags: I hope you can hear my deep, exasperated sigh from across town, problem child.

All Might’s secret lovechild: yes, sir!

All Might’s secret lovechild: but also like

All Might’s secret lovechild: it’s a LITTLE funny

[Mod]gucci eyebags:

[Mod]gucci eyebags: okay, MAYBE it is mildly amusing.

[Mod]gucci eyebags: But I would also appreciate my underage students NOT discussing the fuckability of a grown-ass man who is one of their TEACHERS (who is inconsequently also in a relationship, thank you very much). It’s wildly inappropriate on all accounts.

All Might’s secret lovechild: lol, yes sir. Sorry sir.

All Might’s secret lovechild: no need to get jealous 0.0

[Mod]gucci eyebags: THAT’S NOT-

[Mod]gucci eyebags: *sigh*

All Might’s secret lovechild: SORRY just kidding! Just kidding!!!

All Might’s secret lovechild: Don’t worry it’s all in good fun

[Mod]gucci eyebags: yeah well. I’d tell you guys to knock it off, but since that’s not gonna happen knowing you demon-children: at least promise me you’ll keep that shit to yourselves from now on? Please remember that you all ARE all still minors. As amusing as this was, it would make Yagi wildly uncomfortable.

All Might’s secret lovechild: oh yeah definitely, no.

[Mod]gucci eyebags: … I mean, he’d probably also be so touched by Bakugo’s words that he’d cry, but also…

All Might’s secret lovechild: a w k w a r d

[Mod]gucci eyebags: yeah that pretty much sums it up.

All Might’s secret lovechild: we’ll keep it to ourselves

All Might’s secret lovechild: ……

All Might’s secret lovechild: OKAY BUT KAACHAN IS RIGHT THO, RIGHT?

[Mod]gucci eyebags: ………

All Might’s secret lovechild: sir, I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t answer my question you’ll be next on the ‘fuckability’ chopping-block. It’s just the natural progression of events. So if you want to be spared….

[Mod]gucci eyebags: PLEASE GOD FUCK NO. I do NOT need that thought haunting me.

[Mod]gucci eyebags: okay, YES, Bakugo is right, Yagi can still Get It™, and I will literally fight anyone who says otherwise. I do not date ugly men, please and thank you. BUT YOU DIDN’T HEAR IT FROM ME

All Might’s secret lovechild: Thank you for your candor. I promise I will prevent you from suffering the same fate, on my honor!

[Mod]gucci eyebags: Thank you, Midoriya. Also, I never want to see screenshots from that cursed channel again. What you guys do in ur private chat should stay there.

[Mod]gucci eyebags: ALSO. Delete this convo or you’re expelled.

All Might’s secret lovechild: lmao, YES SIR!]

 

hot topic manager: …….

froggo: well that was…. An experience

hot topic manager: reading that was like dying and being reborn and then dying again all in the space of like, a minute

Wheeeyyy: holy shit

Monkey man: I legit think I got whiplash from that.

punk prodigy: …. no one ever speaks of this again. Right?

hardhead: yeah no, we’d probably die on the spot if Aizawa-sensei heard us

hot topic manager: we take this with us to the grave

punk prodigy: to the grave

Ultimate Sneak: to the grave

pot brownies: to the grave

Wheeeyyy: to the grave

Iceman: Oh, I am going to cherish these screenshots as long as I live

All Might’s secret lovechild: love you all heheheheh >:D

Wheeeyyy: I HATE YOUUUUUUU AHHHHH

All Might’s secret lovechild: >:D

hardhead: this is it, this is the twilight zone. Midoriya’s gone evil and the universe is upside down. My life is a lie, nothing is real

All Might’s secret lovechild: >:D >:D >:D

Bubblegum: facepalm.jpeg

 

[10:30 PM]

 

Wheeeyyy: okay but like, you’ve gotta admit that when Aizawa-sensei puts his hair up and dresses not like a hobo, he’s pretty hot too

All Might’s secret lovechild: blocked and reported

Bubblegum: NEXT

Wheeeyyy: OKAY OKAY! Shutting up now!!!

Wheeeyyy: Okay but also, like….

Wheeeyyy: Miss Midnight could step on me and I’d thank her

punk prodigy: mood

All Might’s secret lovechild:

All Might’s secret lovechild: … I’ll allow it

Bubblegum: oh well in that case, MOOD

GlitterGay™: mood

hot topic manager: mood

0wo: mood

Wheeeyyy: DKJDSLFKJDSLKFJSDLGS EVEN K O D A!!?????

hot topic manager: my god, nothing is sacred, is it?

punk prodigy: that’s it, I quit. I quit life. goodbye

Bubblegum: 0-0

0wo: >:D

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A Connectivity Chat, #general

 *[Mod] has changed the name of server Class 1-A Connectivity Chat to Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD*

Duck-tape: wut

Ultimate Sneak: who did this, fess up

Ninja mask: as if this chat couldn’t get any weirder

All Might’s secret lovechild: It’s so weird because it doesn’t say WHICH mod?? @[Mods] uhhh is the server hacked?

[Mod]Nyoom: I didn’t do anything, and all seems to be in order. Nothing else was changed, it HAD to be one of the mods.

Duck-tape: listen up, it’s not like anybody’s mad? If anything this is an improvement on the chat, but like. I’m DESPERATE to know who did it, please I need to know who the cool mod is!!!

Wheeeyyy: @Iceman new conspiracy theory: which mod did it? WHO is the secret memer??

Iceman: hmm… who indeed

punk prodigy: honestly it’s kind of a lame meme?

Duck-tape: shut up, I will defend the title of Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD to the death!! I just want to laud the hero who did it

punk prodigy: just sayin’. That title was totally done by someone who like, DOESn’t know how to meme? And is trying too hard?

Ultimate Sneak: so literally all of the mods, is what your saying

Iceman: that is, admittedly, a rather broad criteria and doesn’t do much to narrow it down

Iceman: but you WOULD say that, wouldn’t you Jiro?

Wheeeyyy: wait what?

Ultimate Sneak: *eyes emoji intensifies*

All Might’s secret lovechild: oh boy, now we getting’ in it

punk prodigy: huh? Why would I…?

Iceman: you’re Yaoyarozu’s girlfriend, if anyone would have access to her mod account it’d be you

punk prodigy: WHAAA? Why me?

Iceman: well I think we can all agree that Iida did not. He literally doesn’t have the capacity, it wouldn’t occur to him

[Mod]Nyoom: Hey, I know memes!!

Duck-tape: No you don’t sweetheart, but that’s okay we still love you. Anyway, Todoroki, we follow your logic. Go on

Iceman: Yaoyarozu is similar. She probably could meme if she wanted to, but she wouldn’t. The idea wouldn’t occur to her either

Crea-tea: thank you, I appreciate that, Todoroki! Also I can vouch for Kyoka’s innocence, she hasn’t touched my stuff

Iceman: dangit, then I got nothing. It definitely wasn’t Aizawa-sensei, he’s too tired to bother with dumb illogical shit like this. And Yagi-sensei is just about the unlikeliest candidate for it.

Duck-tape: well hold on a second, you remember that conversation we had last week? Maybe he DID do it and he’s relying on his old-man act to cover his tracks!! He IS way more internet savvy than he seems, right?

All Might’s secret lovechild: which is why this can’t be his work. I know firsthand that Yagi-sensei’s meme-ing is fresh and on-point at all times, if he were going to rename the server he wouldn’t have named it something so stale and old. Right, @[Mod]the one, the only, All Might ?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: I did it, it was me

Short-fuse: no you didn’t, All Might. Who did it

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: no seriously, my bad! Let’s not fight, I’ll just fix it!

All Might’s secret lovechild: No no, leave it, it’s okay! WE like it. But like. For real, which one of you did it. @[Mod]Nyoom, @[Mod]Crea-tea obviously one of you is faking it. C’mon, fess up!

[Mod]Nyoom: don’t look at me, I don’t even know what a ‘squaaaaad’ is.

[Mod]Crea-tea: maybe, maybe not, but you DID create the server, and you’re technically the server owner, meaning your perms go beyond the rest of the mods. If anyone could cover their tracks, it’d be you

Duck-tape: so… Iida has secretly been the cool one all along?

Wheeeyyy: I am SO confused

 

Direct Message  between @[Mod]Gucci eyebags and @the one, the only, All Might

[Mod]gucci eyebags: I did it. I changed the name. I came up with it when I was bored at a stakeout at 3 AM during patrol the other night. I predict that in thirty minutes, they will be at each other's throats with war paint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: oh my god

[Mod]gucci eyebags: good. it was getting a little too chummy around here for my tastes.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: oh my fucking god BABE

[Mod]gucci eyebags: call it revenge

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: revenge for what??!?

[Mod]gucci eyebags: they made me read something CURSED earlier this week with my own eyes. This is what they get for permanently mentally scarring me.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: what did they even SHOW YOU??!

[Mod]gucci eyebags: Ironically enough it was actually YOUR problem child who decided it’d be funny to show me, so this is all indirectly his fault

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: what, Midoriya???! What’d he even DO?

[Mod]gucci eyebags: Your pure, innocent, untainted eyes will never see as long as I can help it. I will take it to the grave.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: jesus h. Christ. Seriously WHAT. did they do to you???

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might:

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: Shota. Babe.

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: HELLO?! ANSWER ME?

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: oh great, now he’s offline

[Mod]the one, the only, All Might: I AM SO CONFUSED WHAT IS H A P P E N I N G

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #academics

Minoru Mineta: hey uuhhhhh anybody have a free minute to help ya boi with the Hero Art History short answers?

Duck-tape: dude it’s literally lunchtime, that homework is due in like, forty-five minutes

Minoru Mineta: woah, how’d you get the cool nickname?

Duck-tape: Idk I just changed it in settings

Minoru Mineta: oh sweet lemme try!

Minoru Mineta: dammit, why won’t it let me do it?

hardhead: what were you trying to change it to

Minoru Mineta: PussyKiller96

hardhead: yeah that’s what I thought.

Duck-tape: Just. Just leave it, dude.

Duck-tape: Anyway, about the homework?

Minoru Mineta: oh yeah that

Duck-tape: I can let you look at my answers real quick I guess, if you change it up in your own words so it doesn’t look like you copied

hardhead: nah, that’s not in the spirit of the assignment! It doesn’t help to just copy, you’ve gotta understand it!

Minoru Mineta: I literally don’t care, I just need the answers

hardhead: that’s not very manly, bro. I can still help you if you want though, bro! Bakugo helped me understand it last night, so maybe I can pass on the wisdom! Where are you?

Minoru Mineta: oh actually, uh

Minoru Mineta: I wasn’t really thinking of you, I was kinda asking for someone else

hardhead: what, like who?

Minoru Mineta: Is Yaoyarozu free rn?

Duck-tape: um… no, but like I said, me and Kiri are available

Minoru Mineta: nah that’s fine, but if you see Yaoyarozu would you send her my way? I’ll meet her wherever she wants ;)

Duck-tape: oh my god dude, COME OFF IT ALREADY! Nobody thinks it’s funny or cute anymore!

hardhead: really, dude? really. ugh. -_-

Minoru Mineta:

Minoru Mineta: uhhh you guys still there? It’s been a couple minutes, lunch is almost over

Minoru Mineta: hello? someone?!

Minoru Mineta: @Duck-tape I guess I’ll take those answers if you still have them. Where are you?

Minoru Mineta: Hello?

Minoru Mineta: H E L L O?!

 

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #discourse

[Mod]Crea-tea: so, by popular agreement, we’re leaving him on his own. Right?

Short-fuse: abso-fuckin-lutely

All Might’s secret lovechild: seconded

hardhead: thirded

Duck-tape: fourthed

Duck-tape: fourth-ded?

Duck-tape: whatever. what she said.

Bubblegum: let that grape bitch die at Midnight’s hands on this fateful day.

[Mod]Nyoom: that’s not very class-spirited of you, Ashido.

[Mod]Nyoom: but also. big mood

All Might’s secret lovechild: LOLLLL!

Duck-tape: oh holy shit, even class rep’s abandoned him!!!!

who needs gravity: what a glorious day this is

Bubblegum: that’s how you *really* know you’re fucked, when even the class rep’s done with ur shit! LMAO

Short-fuse: rest in fuckin pieces ya nasty purple shitsack

All Might’s secret lovechild: rt

[Mod]Crea-tea: rt

Bubblegum: rt

[Mod]Nyoom: rt

who needs gravity: rt

hardhead: rt

Duck-tape: rt

Short-fuse: shut up, damn extras

Short-fuse:… rt

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #general

Ultimate Sneak: DID YAGI-SENSEI LEAVE FOR HIS TRIP ALREADY?!

Bubblegum: HELLO? SOMEONE? PLS THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

All Might’s secret lovechild: I think so? He mentioned a 6:00 flight yesterday during morning training but he didn’t say AM or PM

Short-fuse: It’s 6:30 in the goddamn morning what the F U C K are you dickwads babbling about

All Might’s secret lovechild: Yagi-sensei’s departure time

Short-fuse: Aizawa told us yesterday

Short-fuse: weren’t you dumbfucks paying attention? Smh

Ultimate Sneak: told us WHAT?!

Bubblegum: Hello? Bakugo? BAKUGO PLS

Bubblegum: PLS I’M UR BEST GIRLY FRIEND

Ultimate Sneak: we had a goodbye gift we wanted to give him!!!!

Short-fuse: Jfc he’s only gonna be gone for like a week. It’s not my fault u weren’t listening. Calm ur tit

Wheeeyyy: Calm ur tit

Duck-tape: just one tit tho

Wheeeyyy: let the other tit run wild

Duck-tape: that ur party tit

Short-fuse: *TITS OH MY GOD STFU

Ultimate Sneak: you gUYS THIS IS SERIOUS

[Mod]Nyoom: If you must know, Aizawa-sensei told us yesterday that he would be accompanying Yagi-sensei and Midnight-sensei to the airport this morning for a flight at 6:00 AM. He will then return in time for our homeroom, after which time he’ll be covering Hero Foundational Studies, and Mic-sensei will be covering Hero Art History until our teachers return from their trip.

All Might’s secret lovechild: oh Iida, back from your run? Was it nice?

[Mod]Nyoom: yeah, not bad. A little damp though so wear good shoes

All Might’s secret lovechild: gotcha, thanks for the heads-up. @all who’s up, anyone wanna go jogging with me real quick before breakfast?

Bubblegum: GUYS

Monkey man: just finished my thai chi routine, I’ll come do a cooldown run with you!

All Might’s secret lovechild: sweet! Meet you out front in 5 mins?

Bubblegum: UR MISSING THE POINT

Monkey man: yeah lemme wrap up my mat, be there in 5

All Might’s secret lovechild: anyone else wanna come?

who needs gravity: ugh I just woke up so I’ll be slow

who needs gravity: but I DID promise myself I’d do more conditioning

All Might’s secret lovechild: AWESOME! I’ll be cheering you the whole way!

Ultimate sneak: YOU ABSOLUTE HEATHENS, UGH!

Short-fuse: fuckin alright Invisalign, I’ll bite. WHAT?

Ultimate sneak: wE bOuGhT YAgI-sEnSEI a gOoDByE gIFt AnD nOw wE CaN’T GivE iT To hIM!!!!

Ultimate sneak: wEE mISsED hIMMmMMMmmmMM!!!!

Ultimate sneak: why does nobody care??! You’re all so mean TT^TT

Bubblegum: oh NOW you guys have gone and done it, she’s crying!

Short-fuse: jesus, what’s the big fuckin deal? He’s not leaving on a six-month tour, it’s just a ten-day conference

Bubblegum: oh, you fools. You utter buffoons

Bubblegum: soon- sooner than you think- you will look back on this and think ‘oh, how wrong we were! If only we had known our fates, or we would have mourned his departure properly!’

Short-fuse: tch. We can make it ten days without Yagi-sensei, it’s not like the fuckin school’s gonna collapse or anything

Bubblegum: just you wait.

Ultimate sneak: just you wait! TT^TT

Bubblegum: you’ll be missing him soon enough, don’t worry

Ultimate sneak: I miss him already!

Short-fuse: whatever.

All Might’s secret lovechild: @Monkey man, @who needs gravity where are you guys?!

All Might’s secret lovechild: oh whoops, lol. I was at the back door, sorry! Be there in a minute!

Ultimate sneak: *facepalms*

 

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #mod

[Mod]gucci eyebags: Good morning class. As I’m sure you’re aware, Yagi-sensei and Midnight-sensei left earlier today for a ten-day Hero Education conference in Prague. Their flight took off with no problems and the car is headed back right now. I WILL be back in time for homeroom, so no slacking. Be in your seats and ready to start when I arrive.

[Mod]gucci eyebags: On another note: while I’m on my way and you’re getting ready for the day, I’m letting you know that for the duration of Yagi’s trip I am appointing Present Mic as temporary teacher mod in his place. Because I don’t trust you little gremlins on here unsupervised and I don’t feel like un-muting you. You will accord him the same respect on this server that you accord all your mods.

Bubblegum: so like. none?

[Mod]gucci eyebags: ASHIDO. BEHAVE

Bubblegum: hey, just tellin’ it like it is!

*[Mod]gucci eyebags has added [Mod]Yamada-sensei to Server: Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD*

*[Mod]gucci eyebags has changed [Mod]Yamada-sensei’s nickname to [Mod]Loud-ass bird man*

[Mod]Loud-ass bird man: HEY HEY HEY NOW BRO! NOT COOL!

*[Mod]Loud-ass bird man has changed their nickname to [Mod]PUT YOUR HANDS UP RADIO STATION!!!*

[Mod]gucci eyebags: that’s too long

*[Mod]gucci eyebags has changed [Mod]PUT YOUR HANDS UP RADIO STATION!!!’s nickname to [Mod]Loud-ass bird man*

[Mod]gucci eyebags: also stop screaming, it’s like 7 AM and I haven’t had nearly enough coffee for this bullshit

[Mod]Loud-ass bird man: I’M NOT SCREAMING THO!!!

[Mod]gucci eyebags: then turn off your caps lock

[Mod]Loud-ass bird man: THEN LET ME CHANGE MY NAME!!!

[Mod]gucci eyebags: fine, whatever, we’ll compromise

*[Mod]gucci eyebags has changed [Mod]Loud-ass bird man’s nickname to [Mod]banana bozo*

[Mod]banana bozo: U know that’s really not nicer

[Mod]gucci eyebags: look me in the eye and tell me it’s not true tho

[Mod]banana bozo: but!!! I have a brand to keep up, it’s not my fault! Stop bullying me!!!!!

[Mod]gucci eyebags: the day you stop styling your hair like a cockatiel on crack is the day I stop bullying you. But until then, know that you’ve brought this on yourself.

[Mod]banana bozo:

[Mod]banana bozo: fair enough

Bubblegum: lmao that whole interaction was GOLD

who needs gravity: like watching a masterpiece unfold!

punk prodigy: definitely one for the book

[Mod]banana bozo: the book?

punk prodigy: oh yeah!!! Me, Mina, and Uraraka have been saving screenshots of the best chat shenanigans from the server. Wanna see it?

[Mod]banana bozo: HELL TO THE YEAH!!! I am honored to have earned a place in it, ladies ^u^

[Mod]gucci eyebags: dear god will you move it oUT OF THE MOD CHANNEL ALREADY?

[Mod]banana bozo: now who’s screaming lmao

[Mod]gucci eyebags: O U T

[Mod]banana bozo: WE’RE GOING, WE’RE GOING!!!

 

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #memes

punk prodigy: hey @[Mod]banana bozo over here

[Mod]banana bozo: yo Yo YO! What’s cookin’ kiddos!!!

[Mod]banana bozo: oh, there’s a meme channel?! And so under-utilized! LOVELY!!!

[Mod]banana bozo: hehehehe, this is gonna be so much fun!

punk prodigy: Mina, if you would do the honors

Bubblegum: hold on I’m adding the latest screenshots….

Bubblegum: okay sensei, here!

Bubblegum: oh also! There’s a key to who’s who w/ the nicknames here

[Mod]banana bozo: thanks for the helping hand, girls! But uuhhhh you’d best get going, it’s almost 7:45

punk prodigy: OH SHIT U RITE

[Mod]banana bozo: Lol. See you in class!

Chapter Text

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #private: TEACHERS ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!*

Wheeeyyy: hey uuhhh was it just me, or was Aizawa-sensei like. really scary this morning?

froggo: I mean, he’s always a *little* grumpy

hot topic manager: Oh, but I think Kaminari is right this time. Darkness poured off of that man in waves during homeroom.

pot brownies: yeah, and I’m STILL tired from training this morning

pot brownies: are we sure that was Yagi-sensei’s lesson plan he was following?

hot topic manager: I find it hard to believe that Yagi-sensei would make us run such a cruel obstacle course so many times on a Monday.

froggo: well Yagi-sensei has always demanded high standards too. And his teaching has gotten much stricter as he got better at it.

hot topic manager: True, but he never struck me as such a hard taskmaster. This morning’s grueling ordeal seemed…excessive

All Might’s secret lovechild: No, I’m with you guys on that one. That was brutal. I’ve trained with him long enough to know his lessons aren’t like that.

All Might’s secret lovechild: ugh my legs are so sore I can barely walk!!!

Wheeeyyy: lol

pot brownies: hehe

All Might’s secret lovechild: oh c’mon, DONT

Wheeeyyy: THATS WHAT SHE SAID

All Might’s secret lovechild: -_-

froggo: Kaminari and Sato’s childish sense of humor aside: you’ve got to remember, Aizawa-sensei went to drop off Yagi-sensei and Midnight at the airport for a 6:00 AM flight. Leaving time to get to the airport and get through security, he’s probably been awake since 4:30 or 5:00. We all know he doesn’t sleep much, and he probably didn’t have time for his usual 3 cups of coffee. Of course he’ll be tired and grumpy. Right?

All Might’s secret lovechild: I mean yeah, that does make sense

Wheeeyyy: alright… I guess I can understand that.

Ultimate sneak: oh, my sweet summer children. You have no idea what’s coming for you, do you?

Wheeeyyy: ummm? Wut?

Ultimate sneak: you’ll see soon enough. You’ll see.

hot topic manager:

hot topic manager: ominous. I like it.

 

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #academics

pot brownies: ya’ll I’m literally dying

ninja mask: fuckin mood

pot brownies: Captain’s log, day four of no Yagi-sensei: we dyin’ out here fam

punk prodigy: anyone else think Aizawa’s Totoro-smile was way too big when he heard our reaction to the latest assignments? Or is that just me and my dumb ass?

Iceman: No I’m 100% with you on this one

punk prodigy: oh

punk prodigy: wait, for real?

punk prodigy: the brick wall himself, on my side??!

Iceman: listen, you know it’s bad when even Iida’s groaning in pain about homework. And I’ve just had to listen to him groan for like, an hour.

pot brownies: well damn

Iceman: Aizawa-sensei minus boyfriend is a bad combination

punk prodigy: ooh shit HELLO!

punk prodigy: ok uhhh let’s move this to the other chat, yes? So we can complain in peace?

Iceman: sure, whatever

 

Server : Class 1-A SQUAAAAAD, #private: TEACHERS ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!*

punk prodigy: Okay now that we’re in private: Todo you are absolutely correct, boyfriend-less Aizawa is a fucking demon-spawn and must be stopped

ninja mask: I don’t complain a lot but this is getting ridiculous

Iceman: I mean Iida was moaning about a typo in the assignment sheet but he was also complaining about having to do it in the first place so. Yeah. Aizawa-sensei w/ no Yagi-sensei is apparently a recipe for disaster.

ninja mask: was he like this all the time before they got together?!

hot topic manager: no but to be fair, I’m pretty sure he didn’t sleep like, at all that first year so he probably didn’t have the energy to be this cruel. Maybe this is the man he’s been all along. A secret demon.

[Mod]banana bozo: alas children, you are all wrong

punk prodigy: WAAAAGH?! MIC-SENSEI?

ninja mask: nani the fuck

hot topic manager: oh big yikes, I’m out

[Mod]banana bozo: oh puh-leaze, it’s not like we all haven’t wondered how big All Might’s dick is before, I know you’ve all been to a sex-ed class with Midnight so it’s not like there’s any virgin ears to be protecting

[Mod]banana bozo: I’m not about to ruin all your fun up in here, that’s not how I roll!

Iceman: the man has a point

hot topic manager: true, I will never be the same after Midnight-sensei’s lecture

punk prodigy: an eye-opening experience

[Mod]banana bozo: cool so if we could stop being weird about it and get back to the real subject matter

[Mod]banana bozo: i.e. Shota is a disaster gay

Iceman: oh, big worm?

punk prodigy: well, since you’re offering sensei, spill the tea?

[Mod]banana bozo: oh, with pleasure

*[Mod]banana bozo is typing*

Bubblegum: my hot-tea sensors went off, what’s cooking on the private chat?

Buublegum: oooooh gurl here it comes!

*[Mod]banana bozo is typing*

[Mod]banana bozo: okay SO

[Mod]banana bozo: Obviously I have known our dear Aizawa-sensei for 15 years and as his best friend I am privy to all the details of his love life (or at least, all the details you can wring out of him under duress, I stg talking to him is like talking to a wall sometimes).

[Mod]banana bozo: So imma be 100% with you kids, until Yagi the guy had no love life to speak of. Like. None. He messed around every once in awhile when he was bored and that was it, which is honestly a mood sometimes but like??? Come ON Shota you’re 30, get it together

punk prodigy: okay but like

punk prodigy: u don’t have an s/o either, sensei

[Mod]banana bozo: JIROU TT^TT

[Mod]banana bozo: I CAN’T BELIEVE MY FAVORITEST BESTEST PROTÉGÉ WOULD DO ME LIKE THIS

punk prodigy: AM I WRONG?

Bubblegum: I think it’s safe to say that Mic-sensei isn’t going to do anything to resolve his sexual tension with Midnight anytime soon, so if we could let the man be and get back to the real piping hot tea? Aizawa and Yagi-sensei’s love life?

[Mod]banana bozo: YES, THANK YOU ASHIDO!

[Mod]banana bozo: wait, sexual tension?!?

ninja mask: uuuhhhh hi, moving along?

[Mod]banana bozo: right, right!

[Mod]banana bozo: SO. Like I said. Shota. Nothing for him except flings. THEN Yagi comes along and turns this whole school upside down, and if ya’ll want some unresolved sexual tension then just try having to be in the staffroom w/ them the first couple months after he started here -_-

ninja mask: but wait a minute, I thought they didn’t like each other at first?

pot brownies: Yeah, Aizawa-sensei made jabs at All Might all the time in class. Didn’t they frustrate the hell out of each other?

[Mod]banana bozo: oh, my sweet summer children

Bubblegum: you guys wouldn’t know an emotionally constipated gay crush if it fell out of the sky and hit you on the head

Iceman: retweet

Bubblegum: excuse you, you have no room to talk mister ‘im gonna stare at Midoriya until he marries me’

Iceman: ???!

[Mod]banana bozo: … anyway MOVING ON

[Mod]banana bozo: so obviously me and Midnight run a little interference, play a couple of tricks, and con Shota into asking Yagi out, and that’s how it all started

punk prodigy: oh you’ll HAVE to tell me how you pulled that one off

[Mod]banana bozo: later. It’s a great story though!

[Mod]banana bozo: Anyway. They start going out and as I’m sure you all noticed, Shota got way nicer. Which isn’t saying much because he’s a bad-tempered sonabitch in general. But still, better. I mean half of it is like, yeah, they make each other happy which is fucking gay as shit and sappy and I love it.

Iceman: retweet

Bubblegum: retweet

hot topic manager: retweet

[Mod]banana bozo: i_see_you’re_a_man_of_culture_as_well.jpeg

[Mod]banana bozo: Like I said, half of it is they’re sappy and in love, yes, but the other half is: They worry each other into taking care of themselves, which is a goddamn miracle if you ask me. Taking care of your health in general would make anybody easier to be around, so they’ve been good for each other in that respect too! Shota sleeps more on a regular basis than he has since he graduated high school, since he can’t resist when Yagi does the puppy-eyes

[Mod]banana bozo: plus, Yagi eats more and takes his meds regularly because Shota nags him to, but that also results in Shota eating actual solid food instead of jelly packs so that he won’t be a hypocrite.

[Mod]banana bozo: lmao one time I was crashing at Yagi’s place on Sunday after a crazy Saturday night and I got to watch them do their meal-prep for the week. I mean, Yagi did most of the actual cooking while Shota just went to the store for him (bc our dear homeroom teacher can’t cook for his life). Then Shota mostly sat on the counter and got in the way like a grumpy cat, but still. It was fucking adorable, I thought my teeth were gonna rot out my head from the sweetness!!!!

[Mod]banana bozo: Also life tip: Yagi’s got this hangover remedy he picked up in America and when you kids are old enough to drink you have GOT to ask him for it, it was a religious experience!

hot topic manager: hmm, we’ll keep that in mind

Bubblegum: *eyes emoji intensifies*

[Mod]banana bozo: So that’s the life they’ve been living, right? I’m pretty sure Yagi’s planning on moving to the teachers dorms sometime this year and any day now he’s gonna ask Shota to move in with him there so that’s gonna be cute.

Bubblegum: AWWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET

[Mod]banana bozo: RIGHT?

[Mod]banana bozo: okay now put that in context to this week so far

[Mod]banana bozo: Shota waves goodbye to our favorite Number One at the airport to go spend a week in Prague (lucky bastard!) while he gets to stay behind and teach the kids.

[Mod]banana bozo: no offense to you guys but like. Who WOULDN’T rather be in Prague?

Iceman: that’s fair, Prague is gorgeous

pot brownies: Woah, you’ve been abroad to Europe?!

Iceman: yeah dude, my dad might be a shitbag but he’s rich. The summer vacations are definitely a perk

[Mod]banana bozo: LUCKY

[Mod]banana bozo: anyway, the point I’m trying to get at is that A) Shota will never admit it but now that he’s used to having Yagi around, he doesn’t like being without him for so long. He wasn’t like this before because you can’t miss what you’ve never had, but now that he knows what he’s missing? Of course he’s gonna be grumpy about it.

Bubblegum: but it’s only ten days!

[Mod]banana bozo: yeah but you know how cats are clingy as shit but also like to pretend they’re not?

[Mod]banana bozo: that’s Shota

[Mod]banana bozo: so he’s minus the one (1) influence in his life that convinces him to sleep decent hours and eat solid food besides jelly packs and iced coffee

[Mod]banana bozo: AND he’s going into what me and Midnight lovingly call ‘dick withdrawal’

Bubblegum: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

hot topic manager: welp. Coulda gone my whole life without knowing that. But thanks anyway.

[Mod]banana bozo: you’re welcome. So you guys see why he’s like this?

Iceman: yeah, I definitely get that. If I had to go without my s/o for ten days I’d be grumpy too.

punk prodigy: sooooooo Midoriya

Iceman: shut up

punk prodigy: that’s fair.

Bubblegum: What did I say, ya’ll? WHAT? DID? I? SAY?

Bubblegum: me and Tooru fucking CALLED IT!

hot topic manager: *sighs* you did, unfortunately

ninja mask: well what can we do to fix it, then? Because if I have to endure 6 more days of this I might actually die

[Mod]banana bozo: sorry bud, but there’s not much TO do but wait it out :l

punk prodigy: ... well FUCK

ninja mask: well, nice knowing you guys. RIP class 1-A.