Yuuki sits on the infirmary bed, staring out the window. He isn’t looking at anything in particular. He’s lost in his own thoughts, as he often is. Kyle’s asleep on the bed next to him, his even breathing a comfort to Yuuki. Yuuki spends a lot of time just sitting there, staring out the window and listening to Kyle breathing, as both the window and Kyle’s breathing were small comforts in a world of chaos.
The window reminded Yuuki that the world was still out there. Though they were temporarily stuck here in the castle following Amelia’s claim to the throne and the mess that came with it, Yuuki reminded himself daily that soon they would be out there. Things would calm down. He and Kyle could get a place together eventually, and actually have a chance to live. Breathe, even.
Kyle’s breathing reminded Yuuki that Kyle was alive. Every day, and every night, Yuuki would get seized with the panic that Kyle was dead. That he hadn’t gotten him help in time. That Kyle had died and Yuuki was alone. And that was too much for him to handle. Everything was too much for him to handle. But he found himself focusing on Kyle’s breaths, their even rhythm, and it helped keep Yuuki grounded.
Every day, every hour, and sometimes even every minute was a battle. The battle to get Amelia to the throne might have been won, but their fight was far from over. Especially for Yuuki and Kyle, where the fight was never ending in their minds. Yuuki would never be free of Ninao, nor his fear of failing Kyle. Kyle would never be free of his fear of returning to that cell and being left behind.
But every day was another day they had survived. Somehow, they kept on living. And that had to mean something.
Yuuki hated feeling so useless. Everyone was running around and keeping busy. Timothy and Susan checked in on them often, but they were also busy in helping Amelia and the craziness of trying to take back the kingdom. Yuuki didn’t have the mental or physical strength to help them. He just sat there with Kyle, trying not to feel guilty about his inability to do anything. No one had asked anything of him, and he knew no one wanted him pushing himself. But that didn’t stop the guilt in his mind, like he just wasn’t doing enough.
Kyle shifts slightly in his sleep but doesn’t wake up. Yuuki tears his gaze from the window to look at him. He worries for a moment that Kyle might be having a nightmare, but it seems, for the moment at least, his sleep is dreamless. Yuuki takes a deep breath. Kyle’s breathing. He focuses on it.
Kyle’s alive. Yuuki’s alive. They both have survived. They’re both still there. They may not be perfect, and they might never be. But they had to have survived through these ridiculous odds for a reason. Yuuki is pretty sure that Kyle is his reason.