Chapter 1: The (Stupid) Beginning
Chisaki Kai has added Kurono Hari, Irinaka Joui, Nemoto Shin, Katsukame Rikiya , Setsuno Touya, Hojo Yu, Tabe Soramitsu, Tengai Hekiji, Rappa Kendou, and Sakaki Deidoro to Unnamed Group Chat.
Chisaki Kai has renamed the chat Shie Hassaikai.
Chisaki Kai: Don't be stupid. We're meant to be serious here.
Rappa Kendou has renamed themself falconpunch2.0.
falconpunch2.0: fight me
Tengai Hekiji: Rappa no.
falconpunch2.0: fight me.
Chapter 2: everybody makes their names
Everybody gradually realizes that there's finally a group chat and they take advantage.
falconpunch2.0: why isn't anyone else on???
Katsukame Rikiya: holy shit we have a gc now???
Nemoto Shin: Overhaul, is this really the best idea? Considering the members we have currently?
Chisaki Kai: Nope. But Bossman and Kurono both supported the idea, so what can I do?
Nemoto Shin: True.
Kurono Hari has renamed themself chromosome.
Kurono Hari has renamed Irinaka Joui as freakish muppet thing.
falconpunch2.0: OH MY FUCKING GOD
Setsuno Touya: rt to pay respects
Kurono Hari: rt
Hojo Yu: lmao what is this
Hojo Yu: rt
Hojo Yu: cmon tabe
Tabe Soramitsu: RT
Setsuno Touya: where's sakaki?
Hojo Yu: probs drunk af
Setsuno Touya: lmao tru
Setsuno Touya has renamed themself human garbage.
Hojo Yu: has renamed themself shinebritelikeadiamond.
Tabe Soramitsu has renamed themself arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh.
human garbage: what
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: look at ur own name
human garbage: touche
falconpunch2.0: is no one going to comment on hojo's taste in music
shinebritelikeadiamond: IT'S A GOOD SONG
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: i like it
shinebritelikeadiamond: see someone thinks it's good!!
chromosome: no offense to tabe, but his taste in music is about as sporadic as Rappa's constant urge to fight.
shinebritelikeadiamond: can't argue with that
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: neither can i and he was talking about me
Katsukame Rikiya has renamed themself MNSTRENRGY.
MNSTRENRGY: where the hell is irinaka shouldn't he be pissed
chromosome: the only thing he's pissed about is that someone hid his phone and he can't find it.
human garbage: let me guess
chromosome: don't for your own sake and mine.
human garbage: agreed
Tengai Hekiji: Can someone please return Irinaka's cell phone? He's becoming increasingly stressed about it and I am afraid someone may get hurt.
falconpunch2.0: oh i almost forgot
falconpunch2.0 has renamed Tengai Hekiji to magic.
chromosome: i can't oh my god tengai do you even know how to change your name?
human garbage: no one show him how to
magic: Touya no!
Chapter 3: chapter that i wrote sporadically so y'all know i ain't dead
exactly what the title says
usernames so far:
Chisaki: Chisaki Kai
Irinaka: freakish muppet thing (probably going to change at some point)
Nemoto: Nemoto Shin
Setsuno: human garbage
Katsukame: MNSTRENRGY (short for Monster Energy btw i couldn't bother to do the whole thing)
Sakaki: Sakaki Deidoro
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
human garbage: soooooo
human garbage: how's irinaka doing
shinebritelikeadiamond: not well, obviously
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: he's taken over my room send help
shinebritelikeadiamond: irinaka has possessed the walls surrounding tabe's room and isn't letting go
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: i feel violated
human garbage: WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO
falconpunch2.0: TABE'S BEEN VIOLATED CODE 69 IS A GO
shinebritelikeadiamond: i hear rumbling in the back what the hell
magic: Rappa, no!
shinebritelikeadiamond: why the hell did rappa just kick down the door, grab tabe, and run off
human garbage: it's a protocol we made up when we were bored and it finally gets to come into play
human garbage: originally it was gonna be katsu to take tabe but rappa's faster
MNSTRENRGY: i'm there to beat up whoever hurt tabe but i can't really start busting down the walls
MNSTRENRGY: i think at this point we better just return the goddamn phone
chromosome: i hate to admit it, but katsu's right
MNSTRENRGY: is that an insult
Nemoto Shin: Please return Irinaka's phone.
shinebritelikeadiamond: whatever happened to rappa and tabe
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: i've just witnessed life and death take place in the span of 30 sec
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: so rappa's got me tossed over his shoulder right
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and he's just making a mad dash around the halls
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and apparently doesn't know where the hell he's going
human garbage: yeah we never really thought we'd get as far as grab you
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and then we turn a corner and lo and behold fucking overhaul is at the end of the hall exiting a room
shinebritelikeadiamond: oh no
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and he just turns and faces us
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: eyes dead and emotionless as always
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and just as we pass by
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: boss kinds of just
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: reaches out and slaps rappa on the arm
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and he immediately falls apart
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: now i'm on the ground, trembling in the worst fear i've felt since i emerged from hell
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: overhaul brought rappa back like five minutes ago and he just walked away like he always dies and comes back for a living
falconpunch2.0: i'm p used to it by now
magic: BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS NEEDLESSLY PROVOKING HIM, RAPPA!
falconpunch2.0: FUCK ME
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: and just like that there's another death that's a new record
chromosome: i returned irinaka-san's phone and immediately ran like hell hopefully he'll never find me
freakish muppet thing:
freakish muppet thing: don't worry i'll find you
shinebritelikeadiamond: are we not gonna address the fact that rappa told tengai to fuck him
magic: No, we are not.
MNSTRENRGY: i have a mini tea
magic: Katsukame, please.
human garbage: spill
MNSTRENRGY: i was in the kitchen looking for my soda and tengai was organizing the cupboards (AGAIN)
MNSTRENRGY: and i wasn't even looking at my phone as it happened but i glanced back when i heard him dropping a plate
MNSTRENRGY: and his face
MNSTRENRGY: was glorious
human garbage: GOOD TEA
falconpunch2.0: was that a no then?
magic: I MEAN YES
honestly i made it up as i went and i actually produced mediocre results i'm glad
Chapter 4: the gay starts happening oh no
Everyone really does enjoy this.
lol tbh i like to imagine a bottom rappa and tho it probably ain't gonna be common in the rappa/tengai fandom but you know what
i don't care i love rappa anyway
also i don't think i'm gonna use the rich text anymore it kinda bugs me a bit since i ain't used to this yet
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
human garbage: rapppaaaaa
falconpunch2.0: whaddya want twink
human garbage: gasp
human garbage: offended
MNSTRENRGY: are you really
human garbage: nah
human garbage: oh ye
human garbage: do you really want tengai to fuck you
falconpunch2.0: is that relevant in some way bitch
falconpunch2.0: talk to me in pm that'll make this easier
human garbage: alr?
PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN Rappa Kendo AND Setsuno Touya
Rappa: may or may not like tengai
Rappa: a lot
Setsuno: i thought you'd be the type to loudly talk about that tho why didn't you
Rappa: the other day
Rappa: i was just out gettin groceries
Rappa: and i saw tengai
Rappa: with some lady around his age
Rappa: she looked nice too
Rappa: and she kept moving closer to him
Rappa: and then i left
Rappa: it good
Rappa: she looked pretty so i bet she's her type anyway
Rappa: idk why i told you any of this
Setsuno: it good you can trust me
Setsuno: gtg now tho
SHIE HASSAIKAI GROUP CHAT
MNSTRENRGY: they been gone awhile
shinebritelikeadiamond: im sure it's fine
falconpunch2.0: the bitches back
MNSTRENRGY: what happened
human garbage: not important
human garbage: DONT WORRY BOUT IT
Chisaki Kai: Important news. We're going to raid an massive upcoming drug deal that's going to happen between several gangs. This is important, because we're also going to be destroying the base so they know not to mess with us for revenge. The deal will occur in three days. Be prepared.
Nemoto Shin: Do not mess it up. As Boss said, it is crucial that we collect the goods and destroy what we need to destroy.
falconpunch2.0: do i get to hurt people
Nemoto Shin: Definitely.
falconpunch2.0: im in
freakish muppet thing: you never got a choice in the first place
freakish muppet thing: also
---freakish muppet thing HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO joy---
human garbage: terrible
shinebritelikeadiamond: get it away from me
joy: yall terrible people
shinebritelikeadiamond: why do you think we here bitch
human garbage: yu-san help
human garbage: sakaki's finally coming out of his week-long high and cant stand on his own
falconpunch2.0: he's just been drunk this whole time???
joy: apparently?? was wondering where the shit went
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: i'm getting the tylenol
shinebritelikeadiamond: yeah he needs it bad
falconpunch2.0: why is he even here
joy: cuz the Boss decided he should be
chromosome: say that again i dare you
joy: you screwed up, kurono
human garbage: it seems that
human garbage: you are close with the boss
human garbage: no?
joy: they're dating
chromosome: dammit irinaka
joy: well they were gonna find out either way weren't they
human garbage: WHA T
shinebritelikeadiamond: J OI KNEW?????
joy: so what
falconpunch2.0: wow u have terrible taste kurono
human garbage: HOW LONG
chromosome: five months?
human garbage: BRUH
Chisaki Kai: Out of all the ways they could have found out.
Chisaki Kai: It was via text message.
Chisaki Kai: Hari, you can do better than this.
chromosome: im srry babe
chromosome: can i make it up to u
Chiskai Kai: I'm drawing the curtains.
chromosome: omw ;)
falconpunch2.0: THE FUCK
human garbage: I HAVE DECEASED
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: BIG OOF
came up with the chronostasis/overhaul on the fly?? guess that's on the tags list
Chapter 5: 'nother chapter cuz it been a while
Random snippets before the big raid.
i was just like "ho fucknuggets i haven't updated this in a bit" so i kind of just logged in and started this on the fly?
joy: kurono got bossman to go out with him so
falconpunch2.0: idc bout them as long as the bossman's out it all good with me
human garbage: big mood
falconpunch2.0: come to the gym i wanna work on my quirk more
shinebritelikeadiamond: oh i should probably come tooooaOOOOOOOFjojeoesr;J
falconpunch2.0: the fuck
human garbage: nothing happened
human garbage: nothing at all
MNSTRENRGY: highly suspicious, but okay
Nemoto Shin: Please refrain from directly assaulting a coworker while in the living room. It will rile up others.
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: also whats up with hojo-san
shinebritelikeadiamond: SETSUNO WHY'D YOU JUST FUCKING TACKLE ME TO THE GODAMN GROUND
human garbage: reasons
magic: Like Nemoto-san said, please do not do such things.
falconpunch2.0: r u comin or not
magic: I am on my way. I was just distracted momentarily by the image of Setsuno launching himself at Hojo.
Sakaki Deidoro: im finally about as sober as i can get
MNSTRENRGY: surprising you can get sober at all
Sakaki Deidoro: insulting
Sakaki Deidoro: but also true
Sakaki Deidoro: thx tabe for all the shit
human garbage: yo i'm starting up some smb in the rec room
human garbage: who up
---Sakaki Deidoro HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO shots shots shots---
shots shots shots: u kno im up for a good round of smb
shots shots shots: also
---shots shots shots HAS CHANGED Nemoto Shin'S NAME TO old hag---
shots shots shots: there
shinebritelikeadiamond: oh my god this is gold
old hag: How dare you!
old hag: I am not that old!
---oldhag HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO Nemoto---
Nemoto: Luckily I know how to change my name.
shots shots shots: hag
shots shots shots: anyway im goin down to wreck some bird butt
human garbage: fight me bitch
shots shots shots: bout to
shinebritelikeadiamond: we have four spots right?
shinebritelikeadiamond: guess i'm joinin in then
human garbage: tabe?
arhgpFOODaprgaiaeriuh: hell ye
Nemoto: I suppose I will come to watch.
joy: ill stop lurking and watch, too
MNSTRENRGY: i'm gonna binge watch some tv so nah
human garbage: rip but understandable
PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN Rappa Kendo AND Setsuno Touya
Rappa Kendo: so
Rappa Kendo: on a whim
Rappa Kendo: say hypothetically
Rappa Kendo: purely theoretically
Rappa Kendo: lets say u were sparring with someone
Rappa Kendo: and you both accidentally trip
Rappa Kendo: and you accidentally end up on your hands and knees
Rappa Kendo: and that someone accidentally fell to his knees right behind you
Rappa Kendo: and you could feel something warm and hard against your ass
Rappa Kendo: and you accidentally moan
Rappa Kendo: what then
Setsuno Touya: it means u too far gone to go back, my friend
Chapter 6: oof it been a while but anyways yay pride month
gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays gays oh yeah and pans and ace/aros and everyone else :D
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN Tengai Hekiji AND Hojo Yu
Tengai Hekiji: HOJO-KUN PLEASE HELP
Hojo Yu: wow a complete loss of punctuation what seems to be the problem
Tengai Hekiji: I BELIEVE IM IN LOVE
Hojo Yu: well that was sudden
Tengai Hekiji: I'm so sorry but I seem to be in a serious dilemma and I believe you have experience with relationships so please help me?
Hojo Yu: lmao sure
Hojo Yu: you're actually p nice anyway
Hojo Yu: so who is it
Tengai Hekiji: um
Tengai Hekiji: Rappa.
Hojo Yu: WHAT THE FUKC
PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN Hojo Yu AND Setsuno Touya
Hojo Yu: HOLY SHIT MY DUDE YOU WERE RIGHT
Setsuno Touya: lemme guess
Hojo Yu: HE SAID SO
Setsuno Touya: he said so
Setsuno Touya: lmao when am i ever wrong
Hojo Yu: well
Setsuno Touya: stop right there
Setsuno Touya: what'd he say
Hojo Yu SENT AN IMAGE
Setsuno Touya: solid fucking proof
Setsuno Touya: now we scheme
Hojo Yu: wait gimme a sec i have the bestest idea
Hojo Yu HAS ADDED Kurono Hari, Irinaka Joui, Nemoto Shin, Katsukame Rikiya, Setsuno Touya, Tabe Soramitsu and Sakaki Deidoro TO Unnamed Group Chat.
Hojo Yu HAS RENAMED THE CHAT time to set sail
Hojo Yu SENT AN IMAGE
Setsuno Touya SENT AN IMAGE
Kurono Hari: FUCK YEA
Irinaka Joui: i believe in the gay
Nemoto Shin: I am truly surprised everyone else hasn't noticed.
Katsukame Rikiya: ho shit that explains EVERYTHING
Tabe Soramitsu: i also believe in the gay
Sakaki Deidoro: do you honestly trust me with this information
Setsuno Touya: you're not the type to spill the beans even when drunk so ur ok
Sakaki Deidoro: oh
Sakaki Deidoro: hey a nice thing about me
Hojo Yu: master plan
Setsuno Touya: to set sail to this horribly broken but still beautiful ship
lmao finals totally wrecked me so i completely forgot about the existence of ao3 sorry my mans
also changed the tags to mature due to the implications that occurred in that last chapter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Chapter 7: Author’s Note my mans
quick A/N cuz i realized smthn was wrong
Ayyyyyy everyone first off thanks to all y’all for staying with this since the first couple chapters. Probably couldn’t have found the urge to keep addin chapters if it wasn’t for ya. So thanks!
So. The issue. Not really a problematic one but...
This fic is veering towards focusing solely on the Rappa/Tengai ship.
I don’t know if this is what readers expect, cuz this fic is just a chatfic.
Jus.... lemme know if y’all actually want more relationship stuff (mostly Rappa/Tengai, but I’m thinking of doing some Chisaki/Kurono and another relationship :) but yeah) - or more memes n stuff like normal BNHA chatfics seem to do.
I just want to fulfill what people expect.
ANYWAY thanks y’all for readin and jus tell me what ya think I should be doin. It’s just a quick comment down below!