Nobody wanted David. They wanted David Rose. Son of the founder of the second largest video chain in North America. They did however want the prestige that came with that. The VIP access that came with that. The money that came with that.Things that David Rose was able to provide. Things that his last name could deliver.
And for a long time David was able to surround himself with those people, thinking that that was happiness, that those connections were what life was about. That the people that he called his friends were actually that, friends. That the empty feeling he felt sometimes was nothing and he could just push it aside, ignore it and be happy.
David quickly understood that his relationships would be nothing more than one night stands, a few weeks at best. That he would find out he was in an open relationship after the fact.
David knew the more he showed of his true self the faster someone left. So he hid himself behind walls. Walls of sarcastic remarks, of expensive clothes, anything he could hide behind to keep a person around for a few days more.
And David told himself that was what his life was, what he wanted. But deep down, in a part of himself he suppressed, he knew that wasn’t true. He wanted more.
And then the money was gone. Whisked away in the night by a dodgy business manager. And David’s life came crashing down. The one thing about himself that people found interesting and attractive was gone. Because if no one wanted David when he was rich and influential, who would want him now? When he had nothing to offer but himself.
The one consistent thing in David’s life was that everyone left, eventually. And now even the money did that.
Once the shock wore off, ever so slightly, David found Stevie. And he misunderstood their connection as something else and it was almost ruined. But she actually stayed, after they were honest with each other and managed to repair their relationship. A first in David's experience. David could only hope she wouldn’t disappear any time soon. Schitt’s Creek would be a lonely place without her. His only friend. His first friend.
And then there was Jake. Seemingly thrust into his new life just to remind him that people still weren’t interested in him. That David was just a body to be tossed aside when the next best thing came along. Reaffirming all the things he knew about himself.
But then that cheque was handed to him. And for a moment, just the tiniest slither of his old life popped into his world. Sure the money on that cheque wouldn’t even last a week the way he use to spend money, but it was a glimpse nonetheless. But obviously something had shifted in David in the time he had spend in Schitt’s Creek because he heard himself saying they should put it in the bank and save it, not waste it as they were want to do.
And so it sat, this small pocket of funds, waiting. David wasn’t sure for what but he knew having it there could change his life, if he did things right. For once.
So when the general store closed and he had his idea for a business he knew it was the right time. And maybe for once people would respect David for David. Not his family name. Not for who he use to be.
But when he met Patrick when he went to file the incorporation papers and Patrick started helping with his business David knew it was only a matter of time before Patrick too left, like everyone else.
But Patrick was cute, and Alexis and Stevie seemed confident that he was interested in more than David’s business. David wasn’t so sure. Patrick was the opposite of everything that he had ever known in regards to his relationships, kind, friendly, helpful, nice. For a start David was sure Patrick was straight, although when he came in and told David that he wasn’t there for Alexis, David felt his eye twitch, signalling to himself that this was more complicated than he first thought.
And for his birthday he was sure that it was just Patrick feeling sorry for him when he invited him out to dinner. Because David felt sorry for himself, why would anyone else think differently.
But a small voice in the back of his mind whispered that maybe, just maybe this wasn’t a sympathy dinner, maybe this was a date.
So he invited Stevie, figuring that this would silence the voice in his head. Silence that bit of hope he couldn’t shake that there was more to his relationship with Patrick than business partners. But Stevie’s insistence and the voice only got louder.
And there it was, the receipt. Their first receipt. The most sentimental gift he had ever received. And that was it. He was on a date, he knew that now. Stevie was right, she made her exit and their date could begin again.
And when they kissed in Patrick’s car later that night, David smiled to himself, hoping things were different. But then Patrick had told him that this was his first time kissing a guy and all the fears of his past came rushing back. Fears that he had pushed himself onto Patrick. That Patrick, like so many others, was using him to experiment with his sexuality. Using David for some purpose beyond what David had thought, beyond what David had wanted. But then in the next moment Patrick reassured him that it wasn’t like that. That this was something that he wanted, he’d been thinking about and wanting it for a long time. That he was thankful to David for taking that first step, because he was scared he wouldn’t have done it himself.
That kiss blew David’s fears and insecurities out of the water. He felt light as air, telling himself that this was different now. He was different.
But the demons didn’t stay away for long. And the next morning when Patrick told him that he didn’t sleep the night before, David said what he had said countless times after someone had kissed him, or slept with him. Regrets. Because so many times someone had kissed him and instantly regretted it, David taking another wound to his self.
But once again Patrick reassured him. No regrets. And when Patrick kissed him later that day, even after the misunderstanding about the dead body and taking things slow, David knew he was telling the truth.
And as their relationship deepened and grew, both emotionally and physically part of David was waiting for the other shoe to drop. For the universe to remind David that he was unlovable.
When the shoe finally did drop he hadn’t expected it to be in the form of a cute woman. An ex-fiance.
David felt like the universe was laughing at him. How could he be so stupid to think that for once things would work out. That doesn’t happen, not for David. Things don't just work out for someone like David.
And while David could understand Patrick’s reasoning for not saying anything about his past relationship, as he stood in front of David trying desperately to explain, to make David understand how right he felt being with him, David could feel himself shutting down, could feel those walls build back up, the walls that the past months had lowered. Patrick’s beautiful words weren’t enough to defeat a lifetime of rejection and misuse.
But when the presents began arriving, flowers and chocolates and a stunning silver bracelet, part of David knew he needed to talk to Patrick. To forgive him. But another part, a part from his past, enjoyed it. No one had ever worked to keep David like this before. This was all new to him, and he let it go on longer than he should.
But when he walked into the store, ready to forgive Patrick and enable them to move forward with their relationship, Patrick shocked him. David recognised the sadness in Patrick’s eyes as he told David they should focus on the store. Instantly David realised that those gifts meant nothing in comparison to Patrick, to what they had in those four months. That it was worth seeing if there was a future here with this man, a future that would be worth more than any gifts.
So David did something different for the first time in his life. He put himself out there. No barriers. No walls. Just pure David. And from the look of love on Patrick’s face David knew it was worth it, that it was the best decision he could have made.
And the way they held each other and kissed and touched after the song faded strengthened David’s resolve that this was the right thing to do. That maybe no one wanted David before this, but Patrick wanted him now. He didn’t know how long now was, but David knew he wanted to be with Patrick for as long as he wanted David.
And then later Patrick said those words that David had heard a million times in rom-coms but never heard directed at him: I love you.
More than anything he wanted to say it back. He tried, but something stopped him, and while he knew Patrick wouldn’t rush him, that Patrick didn't put expectations on him to say it back right away, he was disappointed in himself. Disappointed that the demons of his past had won again. Silencing him from telling Patrick his true feelings.
But thankfully his hesitation lasted only briefly. As he talked to Ted about Alexis, David realised he was actually talking about himself. And that when he said that sometimes things do work out, David thought of Patrick and knew that he was ready. Finally ready to speak those words that had left his mouth so few times it seemed unbelievable. And when he saw Patrick's face as he spoke those words David knew it was one of the best decisions of his life.
And from there, their relationship developed and grew. Not that it wasn't without it's bumps in the road, Alexis convincing David that his relationship was stale, the incident with Ted at the housewarming, David pushing Patrick towards another man, but each time rather than damaging or destroying their relationship as David expected, it only made them stronger.
The fears and insecurities of David’s past slowly began to disappear. Yes, they reared their heads every now and again but a voice within David began to grow louder and louder. A voice that said perhaps somebody does want David. Not for any long gone status, or long lost limitless credit card, but for David and David alone.
And when David looked at Patrick he saw something he hadn't seen before, in anyone. He saw a future. His future. Their future. And he wanted that, more than he wanted anything. He didn't know how to articulate it or what that future would specifically look like but no matter what he imagined for his future he imagined Patrick there.
Each time David accidently mentioned something about their future, he panicked a little. Fearful that he had said something he shouldn't have and Patrick would leave. That Patrick didn’t see the same future in David that he saw in Patrick. But Patrick never left, never even looked overwhelmed when David said those things. In fact Patrick always seemed to give him a warm little smile, signalling to him that it would be ok. A smile that hinted to David that Patrick actually liked it when he mentioned these things.
But when he pulled that velvet box out of the backpack he was confused. And when he turned and saw Patrick down on one knee he laughed. And cried. His emotions overwhelming him in the best possible way because David never expected to be someone’s fiance. Or husband. Or anything.
He heard Patrick call him the love of his life and David laughed, because that was something he never thought he would be, to anyone.
But there was Patrick, the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, telling David exactly how he felt and exactly what he wanted. And for once, for the first time in his life, it was exactly what David wanted too.
All the fears and insecurities of his past were gone, replaced by hope and love. Patrick wanted him, David. Only him, forever. And that was exactly what David wanted to give.