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Keeping your chaotic boyfriend well fed

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To say that dating Marx was like dating a pack of rabid dogs with chainsaws, well that just be an understatement. Many people asked Kirby constantly what they saw in the guy. Kirby, despite everything, would wave them off with a laugh. Sure Marx nearly got thrown in jail for chasing the mail man away for ‘hoarding his precious letters’ and sure there was the time at the burger shop. But, Marx was strangely, at least to others, sweet on Kirby. He loved chaos, but he loved his chipper boyfriend even more.

“Kirbs...” Marx looks down at the pink mop of hair, hands swinging as they walked past shops. “Kirbs can we get some lunch? You’re hungry too right?”

Kirby looked up at him. Even though they had a large lunch before heading out to the mall, Kirby had to admit they were hungry again. “Yeah! What do you want?”

“I heard the new burger place in the food court is really good! Apparently they got really long lines. We should go, it will probably be better than that last place we went to for burgers.”

Kirby’s stomach growled at the thought of delicious hamburgers. Oh how Kirby was so weak for really good food. “Okay let’s go! Hopefully the lines will be okay today!” Hands still held, Kirby cheerfully headed towards the food court.

It was a bit of a distance from where they started, needing to head upstairs and across the mall. Taking the escalator, Marx leans against the rail. “Kirbs,” He looks up at the ceiling, watching birds pass by through the skylight. A thumb pulls at his suspenders, and he hums in thought. Kirby stares waiting for him to continue, but Marx seems to have already moved on from his train of thought. Stepping off the escalator, Kirby takes Marx’s hand again. They know that Marx gets irritable to say the least when he’s hungry.

“You going to be alright, Marx? We’ll be there before you know it!” Kirby pats their hands with their free one.

“Right.” Marx’s nails dig slightly into Kirby’s hand as they walk past stores. “Maybe just a snack from a vending machine before we get there?” He scans the area for any, “Like a candy bar?” Anything to keep him from losing it.

Unfortunately for Marx, Kirby was distracted by a lady trying to sell them perfume. “It will make you smell like flowers!”

“Wow really?” Kirby rocked on their heels, listening intently as Marx tried to yank them by the arm.

“Kiiiirbs...lunch...” Marx whined, curse Kirby’s ability to be easily distracted.

“Marx! Marx!” Kirby finally swung back around to face him, “Smell me, the nice lady let me try the perfume.”

“That’s nice-” Marx leans over and into the woman’s face. “He’s not interested and neither am I bye!” Picking up his now nice smelling boyfriend up, Marx makes a break for the food court. “No more distractions!”

“It was only one distraction this time!” Kirby looked up, dangling in his arms.

“And one turns into many, remember what happened last time?” Marx’s pigtails tickled Kirby’s face as he ran. “Let’s hurry before I get the urge to take it out on some mannequin.”
“Marx! The mannequins are innocent! We can’t get kicked out of another mall!”

“She knows what she did, she had it coming!” Marx growled.

Kirby sighed and looked down at the floor. Watching the tiles rush past them. Suddenly they stopped and Marx slowly dropped Kirby to the ground. “Oof.” Kirby pushes up off the ground and sits on their butt. “Why did you drop me?”

“Look a vending machine!” Marx grins, fishing a dollar out of his pocket. “You want anything before we get lunch?” He really didn’t have to ask, Kirby had an endless appetite.

Kirby points wordlessly to a bag of chips. Marx pressed the buttons and the chips fell out. “Thanks.” Kirby pulls it out, watching Marx as he decided what he wanted for himself. Nodding, Marx slid in the money and put in the code for a chocolate bar. This should keep Marx calm until they reached the food court. Things were going smoothly, until the bar got stuck half way. Hanging just inches from the bottom.

“No come on!” Marx nearly cries in anger, grabbing the machine and shaking it. “Give me my chocolate bar!”

“Marx calm down! I can reach up and get it!” Kirby tries to pat his leg from their spot on the floor. “Just stop shaking it!”

“Give it to me you stupid machine!” Marx reels his arm back and slams his fist against the glass. “Ow!” He shakes his hand, blowing on it as if that would stop the pain. It never does. Despite his pain, he grins as he hears the chocolate bar drop to the bottom of the machine. “Success!” Reaching in, Marx grabs his prized bar and opens it.

“Phew…are you okay?” Behind them a mother hurriedly escorts her child away from the pair. “That looks like it hurt.”

“I’ve had worse.” Despite his cry of pain, Marx let the moment pass. Instead focusing on his sweet chocolate treat. He uses his other hand to pull Kirby up off the floor.

Seeing their chance, Kirby leans in and steals a bite of the chocolate bar.

“Yum strawberry filling!” Kirby smiles as Marx pouts. “Come on let’s keep going.” They continue their journey to the food court. Kirby’s eyes drift over to a game store that is brimming with more people than usual. “Oo what’s going on in there?”

“Kirbs!” Marx calls out to Kirby who’s already wandered off once again. He just wanted to get a burger, why was Kirby so easy to distract?

Kirby peeks their head into the store, watching a crowd of people surround a display where two people played a game. “Wah it’s the new Sma-”
“Let’s go Kirbs!” Marx grabs Kirby by the hood, and off to their destination. “We can look at video games after lunch.”

“Promise?” Kirby looks up with an adorable expression.

“Yes promise!” Marx sighs, he was so weak for Kirby. “I just want to get our burgers.”

“Right! Burgers! No more distractions!” Kirby is let go and this time Marx grabs Kirby’s hand. Just in case something managed to grab their attention a second after the fact. “Let’s go!”

“Who knew a walk to the food court would take so long...” Marx mutters, tossing his candy wrapper into a trash can as they passed.

Miraculously the rest of the walk was without incident from either of them. Marx scans the court for the burger stand. It was nearly a legend at this point. A glowing neon sign with a giant burger signals the stand, as well as a line that stretched nearly to the other side of the court. “Oh come on!” Marx kicks the ground with his boot. “I knew we should have gotten here faster.”

“Aw sorry Marx, let’s just get in line. We’re so close now!” Kirby pats his shoulder. The pair move into the line. Squeezing Kirby’s hand, Marx counts every head ahead of them. Kirby hums a tune, bouncing slightly.

Despite the long line, Marx had stood silent. Forcing himself to focus on anything but his growing hunger. The chocolate bar feels like it was so long ago. The mixing smells of different food stands tickled his nose. He could almost feel himself drooling, and he bites his lip. But, things have been good for too long. Being a master of chaos himself, Marx had a bad feeling about this.

As if on cue, a large hand clamps down on his shoulder. “Well well, if it ain’t Marx an’ Kirby!”

“Dedede.” Marx groans, turning to look at him. “What do you want? Here for lunch too?” Dedede laughs. Of all the people Marx didn’t want to deal with right now, Dedede was on the top of that list.

“That’s King Dedede to you!” Marx scoffed. “And of course I am, the best food in the mall is right here at this here burger shop!”

“Lovely, and you’re not the king of anything. Except maybe getting on my nerves.”

“Oh hello Mr. Dedede!” Kirby had tuned the both of them out, lost in thought. They had only just noticed the bigger man behind them. “Getting lunch?”

“Course pipsqueak, now step aside! A king must get to the front of the line.”

There was no way Marx was going to let Dedede cut in front of them. “Not so fast! We were here first!” Marx leans out to stop Dedede from moving. “Get in the back like the rest of us.”

“Do you know who I am?!”

“Yeah and I wish I didn’t.”

“Them’s fighting words!” Dedede leaned down into his face.

Kirby pulls on Marx’s arm. “Marx, please don’t start a fight with Dedede. We can’t get kicked out of another mall!” Kirby glances to the side, noticing the line moving. “Look see the line is moving, let’s go! Sorry Mr. Dedede, we’ll see you some other time!” As much trouble Kirby ended up giving Dedede on the regular, today they just wanted to have a nice day with Marx. They’d let Marx lose on Dedede another day.

Marx calls back to Dedede as they go, “I swear to the forces above and below me, you better sleep with one eye open!”

Kirby pushes Marx ahead, knowing that his hunger was making him angry again. “Let it go...” People around them stared and muttered, parents pulling their children closer to them. Kirby noticed and flashed a smile at them. “Nothing to see here!”

Marx grumbled. He could feel Dedede’s eyes on them from the back of the line. “He’s all talk, Dedede knows I’d send him into next week if he so much stared at me”

“I know, but we’re just a few people behind the counter. Focus on that burger!”


The silence finally returned and it seemed like they’d finally get their lunch without further delay.

“Welcome may I take your order?” The man behind the counter smiled at them.

“Oh yes!” Kirby smiled and cheerfully ordered for them both. Holding Marx’s hand tightly just in case some last minute problem occurred.

Marx was staring blankly at a child that was staring back at him. He squinted, the child squinted back. He stuck out his tongue and the kid followed. He didn’t even feel Kirby pulling at his hand or calling his name.

“Marx, Marx!” Kirby slapped his shoulder. “Marx hey!”

“Huh what?”

“The milkshake machine is broke, you want a soda instead?”

Marx inhaled sharply, he always got a milkshake with his burger. His voice cracked, “Yeah,” Kirby began to ask what kind, “doesn’t matter!”

“Okay!” Kirby turned back to finish their order.

Each second of waiting for the food felt like an eternity. He could do this, Marx could wait just a couple more minutes for the burger. Watching the workers behind the counter shuffle to and fro, Marx took in every single detail of the process. He watched fries sizzle in oil, burgers being flipped, buns, seasonings. He read whatever labels he could read from the spot he was in.

“Marx come on I see a table nearby!” Kirby nudges him with a leg, hands full of their food. “It looks so good!”

Marx snapped out of his food daze, looking over at his boyfriend. “It’s about time!” Oh he could just cry, but he wouldn’t he was better than that. He blinked a few times, he totally wasn’t going to cry over a burger.

The two of them head to a table and sit down. Kirby slides Marx’s tray over to him. Wasting no time, Kirby nearly inhales the burger in one go. Marx grabs his own, taking his time for once to just appreciate it. After all the stuff that happened within the span of – Marx paused to check the time – an hour, he had to make sure it was really worth it.

“Well how is it?” Kirby stuffed fries into their mouth.

The buzz around the place wasn’t a lie, for mall food, this might have been the best burger Marx ever had. “Worth it. Thanks Kirbs.”

Kirby smiles with a giggle, leaning over to share a fry with their boyfriend. “That’s good! It was a fun day. And there’s still plenty to do!”

“You wanted to check out that new game right? That fighting game?”

“Yes! Well it’s not technically a fighting game! You see-” Kirby went into explaining the game in detail to Marx. Who was finally winding down from his hunger rage. Marx listened, nodding every so often and giving comments. Even if the walk from one side of the mall to the other felt like a journey up the world’s biggest mountain. Just being here with Kirby and having a chill and relaxing moment made everything worth it.

“We should do this again sometime.” Marx interrupts Kirby’s talk. “Hopefully when I’m not extremely hungry.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds like a good idea!” Kirby grinned. “Thanks for the fries too!”

“Wh? Hey you stole all my fries?!” Marx was so intently listening to Kirby that he didn’t realize that they’d eaten the rest of his fries. “I was going to eat those!” Kirby laughs and takes off with their empty tray. “Hey get back here!” Marx picks up his own tray, drink in the other. “You know I can’t chase after you with a drink in my hand! Kirby!!”