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In Your Care

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Sawada Nana dies young and alone and so very broken. Unknowingly sick on her husband's sky flame that has so thoroughly entwined with her dormant mist. To have him parted from her is spiritually akin to stripping the skin from her flesh. Every time he leaves her their one sided bond screams in agony. Worst of all she can't bring herself to care all that much, content in the illusion of a happy family. When darling Iemitsu brings his boss into their home she is open and gracious like any good wife.

 

Please please I'm good I'm loving why won't you just stay.

 

And when they leave they take the last thing that she has.

 

My baby they killed my baby what have you done he used to shine but now his eyes are dull dull dull

 

She looks at her little boy and feels nothing. His childhood clumsiness has now become an active hazard and the wariness from their neighbors is now a quiet loathing.

 

He is wrong dead why would they do this?

 

Nana knows she could accept this. Turn a blind eye as she has done with Iemitsu’s increasing absences.

 

Because she is a good wife and is content with what she is given isn't she?

 

Be swept away and never ever have to worry about a thing.

 

But if she doesn't have her Tsukun and she doesn't have Iemitsu then what is the point of anything?  

 

She doesn't want this. Doesn't want a too cold home and a too cold son.

 

Mama I'm sorry I should have listened why didn't I listen this man has taken all that I am.

 

One day Nana calls the child that she carried for nine months useless without thinking.

 

Why hasn't anyone stopped this her dead baby is more bloody and broken by the day.

 

She can't feel anything now between those rare phone calls from her beloved husband.

 

He has ruined her ruined their home ruined her son how dare he

 

So she just has to make a wish.

 

A bargain. Her life for another's because her husband has all that she is but her son oh her empty son is not chained yet.

 

She has to choose.

 

Condemn because they too will be unable to escape she will ensure it.

 

Find the very best person to fix her precious Tsukun.

 

There has to be a way there is a way she just has to believe.

 

She tucks her little boy in.

 

It’s the last time, she has to make it count for this dead dead child.

 

Lingers to do one last sweep of the house.

 

Everything has to be perfect a new beginning is a very special thing after all

 

She takes her best kitchen knife that has been sharpened to an elegant point

 

she will need it for the living will simply not do

 

and begins to walk with her dripping wrists.

 

The quiet click of the door shutting echoes in her ears the way her footsteps do not. Her Mama had told her stories about magicians, princesses, kings, witches, spirits, and Gods

 

and the one who would shelter them all and burn those who would harm what is theirs.

 

She has the Will of the Dying

 

no matter how her husband has twisted it around himself

 

and just needs someone more suitable than herself. 

 

The farther she travels, the more the world blurs. People she passes by become indistinct and gray. Her head is empty

 

always always empty

 

but for her search. It's only when her vision begins to blacken that she sees her and oh. Oh she will be perfect.

 

Tsukun will finally be fixed.

 

She just needs to make her wish

 

red has always been such a pretty color

 

and seal it with a kiss

 

because that's how to make a happy ending.

 

She thinks of her dead child and her empty house and suddenly they are there

 

ah right that's how stories work.

 

Already she is burning

 

too bright

 

and the other hasn't stopped screaming

 

really she will have to quiet down or Tsukun might wake up

 

but all she can do is sit and smile.

 

Her home will finally be a happy one

 

The sunlight that breaks through the curtains matches her in intensity for mere moments before the last of Nana’s strength leaves her.

 

“What a wonderful beginning to a new day,” Sawada Nana breathes as her glazed eyes flutter shut.