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i'll be abused (if that means I can lie beside you)

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The first thing Tucker heard when he woke up was a familiar voice.


“Lavernius Tucker,” it called out into the dark room. It was just a little too smug; a little too pleased.


It was Felix.


God damn it.


Tucker had passed out after the fight with him at Radio Jammer 1C, just as Felix and Locus teleported away. He must have been close enough to be teleported with them.




“Hey, asshole,” Tucker hissed out as light poured into the room. His eyes adjusted to the light, and soon Felix’s tall, lithe silhouette became visible in the doorway. His knife glinted silver in the blue-tinted light, casting a shine on the floor below him that stuck out among the contrasting shadows.

“You’re awake. Perfect,” Felix spoke. He stepped through the door, shutting it and flipping the knife around in his hand. Tucker didn’t pay much attention to the blade, instead focusing on trying to stand up.

“Did you have any good dreams about me?” Felix teased with a smirk.

“If I would have any dreams about you, they’d be nightmares,” Tucker retorted, attempting to stand. It was hard; he was still weak from the stab wound in his gut, and sending shot sharp pains throughout his body. Tucker eventually decided to just stay seated; he couldn’t waste energy that he could use on fighting Felix again.


“Oh Tucker, does that mean you’re scared? Of me? ” Felix faked being taken aback and hurt for a moment. Of course, it was all an act. Just like everything else. He stalked closer to Tucker, still flipping his knife in the air and catching it in one hand.


“I’m not scared of you. You’re just an annoying douchebag,” Tucker growled, sitting up slightly and glaring at Felix through his helmet.


“Oh, you sound so believable, Tucker. So.. I guess the oh-so-legendary Lavernius Tucker of the Reds and Blues really is afraid of a little mercenary like me ! I really am flattered,” Felix continued to tease. He walked right up to Tucker and leaned down slightly, tracing his knife over his helmet visor.  

“Get away from me,” he hissed quietly. “I told you, bitch, I’m not scared of you.” Tucker scowled, raising his arm up and attempting to push Felix’s hand away.


“Oh, you aren’t? Then how would you feel if I lodged this knife into your skull? Because the only reason why I’m keeping you alive is so your little friends can come along and save you. And I can always capture someone else.” Felix smirked as he threatened him.


"...Fucking try, then, bitch." Tucker countered, growling at Felix. He assumed his helmet would do a good enough job at protecting him, anyways.


“Oh, you shouldn’t have said that, Tucker,” Felix singsonged. He kneeled over Tucker, hovering the knife just above him, and then he reeled back and quickly swung the blade forward at him. Tucker shut his eyes tight, intimidated and fearful for his life-


And then the knife stopped. It hadn’t even grazed the visor of Tucker’s helmet. It lingered above Tucker’s head for a moment before Felix lowered his hand with a smirk. A dark chuckle came from him.  


“Tucker, how can you be so dumb? Why would I kill a hostage? As much as I want to, you’re worth too much. You really are stupid sometimes.” Felix tsked, flipping his knife back and forth from one hand to another.

"Shut up,” Tucker murmured, glancing away. He absolutely hated how smug Felix sounded. It fucking infuriated him.

“How about this? I give you one more call to your lovely little teammates, and we can show them just how much I can make you suffer.” Felix ghosted his knife over Tucker’s throat as if he were slitting it.


“And why would I let you do that?” Tucker asked, his tone a bit nervous as he glanced down at the knife on his throat. Tucker looked back up at Felix as he continued to speak. “I’m not going to hurt my friends by letting them see me get tortured.”


“Oh, but you’ll be able to speak to them again! You can say whatever you want! Of course I’ll be.. eh, mildly torturing you as you talk, but that won’t matter. I’ll be gentle.” Felix winked, forgetting that no one could see it through his helmet.


“Still sounds like a pretty shitty deal,” Tucker said back, glaring at Felix.

“Maybe you’d even be able to say your location. Or give ‘em some closure. Or even just say goodbye. I know how much you care about that grey guy- the Freelancer,” Felix suggested. Tucker’s expression morphed to one of fury.


“Don’t bring Wash into this!” he screamed, instantly trying to stand but being barely able to. “This is clearly a trap! I’m not dragging any of my friends into it!”


“Well, I’ll just have to track them down myself, won’t I? Maybe I’ll get Grif and Simmons. They’d die in each other’s arms, crying out for each other. Bet their last words would be each other’s names,” Felix threatened.


“No.. Not them, don’t hurt them, they did nothing--” Tucker begged, his hand on the wall to steady himself.


“Or maybe I’ll kill Washington. Really slowly, too. Maybe I’ll destroy every part of him you love so much, huh? That sound better, Tucker?” he asked.


“Don’t you dare hurt Wash!!” Tucker snapped, activating his sword and rushing forward to attack Felix. He instantly stopped Tucker by throwing him against the wall, hard enough that the sword fell from his hand.


“I’m not sure you want to do that, Tucker,” Felix threatened, pressing the knife against Tucker’s throat once again. Tucker went quiet, his breathing shallow and nervous. Felix stared at him for a moment before throwing Tucker down to the floor and moving to pick up his sword, tossing the handle in the air a couple times.

“I’m sure you won’t be needing this,” Felix commented, setting the sword’s handle against his hip as it locked into the holster in his armor. He looked down at Tucker. He was attempting to sit up, but Felix kicked him to the ground and stood over him before he could. Felix pressed his foot onto Tucker’s chest to pin him down.


“Now, Tucker, take off your armour for me.” Felix ordered, his voice harsh and annoyed as he pressed his foot down harder against Tucker’s chest.


“Bow chicka bow wow..” Tucker mumbled. Even when he was being threatened with torture and currently captured by his biggest enemy, he still used that dumb catchphrase of his.


“Take it off ,” Felix growled, pressing his knife into his neck.


“..Fuck. You.” Tucker growled. “I know you’re trying to fucking trick me.”


“I might be,” Felix responded, “But would you rather me smash your visor open, Tucker? Glass in the eye is not pleasant, I can assure you of that.”


Fine, ” Tucker snapped, glaring at Felix with a deep scowl on his face. He started to take off his armour, starting with his helmet. He definitely did not want what Felix threatened. Or anything like that, really.

“There. You happy?” Tucker asked, uncomfortably curling up slightly. He was only used to having his armour off when on front of a cute girl, and even then, that barely ever happened.


“Very.” Felix responded with a smirk. "Anyways.. how about we call your friends?"


"...Yeah.. Yeah, let's call them." Tucker reluctantly gave in.


"Good." Felix grabbed Tucker's helmet. He projected his HUD onto the wall in front of them after setting up a few things. Then, he called Wash.


"Hello? Are- do you have information about Captain Tucker?!" Wash said quickly. He sounded both exhausted and overjoyed.


"In a way, yeah! He actually wants to talk to you, Washington." Felix said with a grin.


" Felix . What did you do-" Wash began to firmly speak.


"Have fun with him!" Felix said, cutting him off. He set the helmet next to Tucker and shot him a glare that was obviously a message for 'talk'.


“Wash!” Tucker called out, so relieved to hear the Wash’s voice.


“Tucker- Tucker, we’re looking for you right now. We’re trying to do everything we can,” Wash reassured.


“Wait- don’t . He’s trying to fucking trick you! He’ll kill you if you come,” Tucker warned.


Wash inhaled sharply, near-tears as he replied. "Tucker, I have to. We can't just let you get hurt. I can't deal with that."

“No. Listen to me. Don’t come .” Tucker begged. He did want to be saved, but he knew this was a trap. And he wasn’t going to risk Wash and the others’ lives just to save his own.


Tucker tensed up and stopped talking as he noticed Felix approach him, and picked up the knife from the ground. Felix was silent as he pushed the knife to Tucker’s throat. The tip pressed into his skin and dragged up his neck, leaving marks and pinpricks of blood as he went.


Tucker whimpered lightly as Felix reached his left eye and circled the blade around it. As Felix began to dig the point of his knife into the bottom eyelid, Tucker cried out lightly in pain.


“Tucker, we can’t just leave you there! He’ll kill you!” Wash argued, obviously becoming worried about what was happening. He couldn’t see what was happening, but he could hear Tucker’s light cries.

"Wash, listen to me. You can't come looking for me. I know it'll be hard, b-but.. don’t. It's a trap." Tucker quickly spoke, his breath getting caught in his throat. He felt like he was suffocating.

Felix pressed the knife harder into the bottom lid. He put enough pressure that the knife pushed right through the flesh like butter. It was right underneath Tucker’s eyeball, and it hurt. Like. Hell. Tucker suddenly cried out in pain, instinctively holding his hands up to cover his eye. Tears and blood started pouring down his left cheek, and he dryly sobbed in pain.


"T-Tucker! What's going on?!" Wash said, worried. "Is he- is he hurting you?!"

Felix simply turned on a camera he had connected to his helmet. He dug the knife in harder and moved it back and forth in wide strokes to cut further into the lid. Blood seeped from the injury, and Tucker could taste copper on his lips. Wash was shaken to his core.

"T.. Tucker.. oh God, I think I'm gonna be s-sick," Wash muttered.


“Pl..Please… don’t come.” Tucker told Wash through his own screams of pain, guiltily looking away. “I’ll escape by myself. I don’t want you getting hurt. Pl-please, Wash. Don’t try to find me.


As the knife dug in deeper, Tucker panicked and quickly elbowed Felix away from him. It would get him in trouble later, but Tucker didn't regret it.

"I love you," Tucker cried out to Wash before ending the call. He panicked, tossing the helmet away and watching as it crashed against the ground, the visor cracking. Yellow shards of glass covered the spot where it fell. Tucker anxiously looked up at Felix and instantly regretted his decision.


" ...Tucker, " Felix growled, holding the knife tighter in his grasp, glaring at him angrily. "You're going to regret everything you just did. Everything ." He cleared his throat. “Now. Would you rather never see some of your friends again, or never see your boyfriend again?" he asked, twirling the knife around idly.


"I... What was I supposed to do?! I panicked-- I.. I.." Tucker stumbled for words as he turned to face Felix and backed away. "You’d better not hurt my friends or Wash... Please... Hurt me, not them!"


"Answer the question, Tucker," he demanded. Felix seemed to take joy out of Tucker being afraid of him and continued to terrorize him. The soldier remained silent.


"Maybe I'll just pick someone random. Who knows, maybe it'll turn out to be Carolina! And if she's still got that AI unit.. well, you'll cause the deaths of two of your friends, won't you?" Felix paused. "You know, Grif and Simmons keep popping up in my mind. Those two might work. It'd be cute to watch them suffer and rely on each other. But maybe I could separate them. What do you think, Tucker? Got any opinions on who else I could take?"


"Don't.. Please, don't..." Tears tinged red streamed down Tucker's face as he fell to his knees, crying and sobbing. The idea of seeing his friends so hurt.. the idea of losing them forever.. he couldn’t handle it. His remaining confidence fell away as he broke down. "Don't hurt them... I'll do anything, just don't hurt my friends... Please. Please don't hurt them." Tucker sobbed and sobbed.


Felix paused for a moment before breaking out into laughter. "You shoulda seen the look on your face, Tucker!" He laughed harder, doubling over. "Oh my- oh my God, it's so fucking funny! You're even still goin' at it, oh my God, ahahaha!"


Tucker wanted to fight back. He wanted to yell and scream. He wanted to shoot Felix or stab him with his sword, but.. he couldn’t. Almost every inch of Tucker's body was in pain.


"Fuck you..." Tucker hissed, sobbing weakly, "Go to hell, you fucking bitch..."


"What did you just say to me, Lavernius?" Felix leaned in with a smirk. ”Do you want to repeat that?"


Tucker felt as if his heart stopped beating from the anxiety, but he spoke up anyways. "I said fuck you. Go to hell. Fucking idiot.."


"...Tucker, you've seriously dug yourself into a hole here." Felix pressed the knife back against Tucker's eye. He smiled as he paused for a second to take in the beautiful scene of Tucker’s wrecked face and anxious expression, but soon returned to his work.


"I still stand by what I said--" Tucker hissed back.


Felix pushed the knife back into Tucker's eye socket. Tucker let out a hoarse sob as Felix started to saw into the optic nerve, humming to himself as he worked. Tucker’s sobs turned to screams as an unbearable, burning pain went through his eye again. His knees became weak, and he felt as if he was about to collapse.


Tucker held tightly to Felix for support, unable to think of who he was clinging to or why. His mind was too bleary and foggy. There wasn't much else he could use to keep himself standing, anyways.


Felix laughed to himself, widening his eyes jokingly. "Woah. Didn't know you were a masochist, Tucker," he said with a laugh to taunt Tucker. “You gonna get off if I do more? If I do shit like this?”


With that, he finally disconnected the nerve and veins, and Tucker screamed at the top of his lungs. He sobbed and cried hysterically for what felt like hours. After his screaming fit of pain was over, he looked up at Felix.


He stumbled away, holding his hand up to his eye and watching the blood pour down onto his hand. It was disgusting. He felt delirious, light-headed and drowsy from blood loss.


Tucker eventually collapsed, falling to the ground with a loud thump. His head slamming against the concrete floor. The last thing he saw was Felix towering over him with a proud grin.


“I win, Tucker.”


And then everything went black.