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The Perks of the Job

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“Colman's are giving me that?” Alan pointed to the tiny jar.

“It's their sampler,” Lynne muttered.

“I know. Everyone and their dog gets given that size.” Alan held up the jar to his face, as if it would suddenly get bigger.

“That's cruel!” Lynne's mouth contorted in horror.

Alan stared back, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Giving dogs mustard. It's cruel,” Lynne babbled.

“Who lets dogs eat mustard?” Alan stared at the jar. “Never mind, what about the washing machine?”

“They're offering a bottle of fabric softener,” Lynne said cautiously, adding, “large size!”

Alan gnawed at his lip. “...Fine.”