The true dream is to be able to dream at all.
The intern’s locker room was filled with buzzing tension. Meredith could feel it when she walked into the room.
“You’ve been moping.” Cristina says.
“Dude, you’ve totally been moping.” Alex chimes in.
“I’m not moping.”
“Meredith, you’ve been moping for two weeks.”
“George,” she groans, frustration in her voice.
“It’s true, Mer,” Izzy replies, “Two weeks.”
“You guys are just…” She grabs at her scrub cap, “I’ve not been moping.” She leaves the room with an eye roll, “Ridiculous.”
“You look mopey.” Derek says.
She wipes at her eyes, “Not now, Derek.”
“What’s wrong, Meredith?”
“Clearly it’s something. You haven’t returned any of my calls, and now you’re crying in an elevator.”
“I have a patient,” She says, walking away as soon as the elevator opens.
It should be a surprise that she finds herself in the Chief’s office later that night, except it’s not, not to her. Because maybe she has been moping all day. And she knows the reason too.
The man looks up from paperwork, “Meredith, I was just about to head out for the night. What can I do for you?”
“I need a favor.”
Which led to right now, nearly 12 hours later, standing outside Oceanside Health & Wellness, butterflies fluttering in her stomach. And that, in itself, was ridiculous. She was Meredith Grey. She didn’t get butterflies. She was all dark and twisty. But this, this was what she needed.
The handsome, young man at the receptions desk is nice and approachable.
“Hi, I’m looking for Addison Montgomery.”
“Dr. Montgomery is over at the hospital right now.”
“Oh,” Right, of course, once a surgeon, always a surgeon, “Any idea when she’ll be back, um?”
“Dell, name’s Dell. And you are?”
“Oh,” She felt so nervous all of a sudden. Like Dell knowing her name meant something, “Sorry. I’m…”
“Meredith?” She feels her heart jump in excitement, a slow smile spreading onto her face as she turns around.
She’s sure, for just a second, her heart stops. Because there she was, bright pink scrubs, hair up in a messy bun, “Addison.”
Addison’s office is warm, a stark contrast to the normal Seattle Grace rooms. She sees Addison’s coworkers at the door, but the woman shuts them out, closing the door behind her.
“Sorry about that, Dr. Grey.”
“Addison, I didn’t come all the way here to be called Dr. Grey.”
Addison smiles in acceptance, amending with a soft, “Meredith.”
Addison doesn’t have to ask; she’s sitting here, in the same room after not seeing her since the wedding fiasco, and nothing else matters anymore. Not Derek, not the exam.
“I missed you.” And damn it, she hates the way she says that. I missed you ? That was lame.
“You came all the way to LA to tell me you missed me?”
“You just up and left, no goodbyes.”
“Meredith, I needed a fresh start.”
“And I needed you.” She definitely hadn’t meant to say that, but then the words won’t stop, “I needed you. Because Derek and Mark are too self-absorbed. Sure, Cristina was there, but with her and Burke...I needed you there, Addison. Susan died and my dad, he just, he,” she doesn’t realize she’s crying until Addison is kneeling in front of her, wiping at her tears, “And you weren’t there. I needed you, and you weren’t there.”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Addison soothes her softly, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“My intern exam is Friday.”
“And you’re still here? You should be studying.”
“I love you, Addison.”
“I’m in love with you. Not Derek, not Mark. I’m in love with you, Addison. And I can’t think about exams or focus on patients because I am completely in love with you, and you’re not there.”
“So what you’re going to do? You have to take your exams.”
“Come back with me.”
“Please.” She hates begging.
Addison laughs softly, a broken-hearted sound, strokes her cheek, a tear sliding down her face, “I can’t. I need this fresh start.”
“Addison.” God, she was so desperate. She hates it. She’s a surgeon. She can’t be this desperate. And yet. “Please.”
Addison kisses her lips softly, “I love you too, Meredith. I love you too. But I can’t come back with you,” She shushes her with another kiss, “Go home and pass your exam, Mer. For me.”
She wouldn’t change her mind, she knows, “Okay.”
“When’s your flight?”
“A few hours.”
“Let’s get some dinner, and I’ll drive you to the airport, okay?”
And when Addison kisses her at the airport, she knows the redhead will be back. Maybe not tonight, but she would.
“I’ll be waiting.”
Addison smiles into the kiss, “Okay.”
It had been such a long day. Her half-sister kept trying to talk to her and Derek kept trying to talk to her, and she didn’t want to talk to either of them. She exits the elevator, exhausted.
“Meredith,” she turns towards Lexie’s voice.
“Meredith,” Derek says from the other side. She looks between them. Both of them wanting something from her, something she didn’t want to give.
She hears the elevator ping behind her, and internally groans. Probably Izzy or George.
“Meredith?” She feels her heart constrict tightly.
She turns to see Addison, feels fingers interlace with hers, the redhead smiling softly. And it’s like everything else fades away.
“Addison,” she breathes. And it feels like the first breath in a long time.
“Addison?” Derek questions, and her surroundings come back to her. “You’re back?”
“Yeah, yeah I’m back.”
“I thought you were in LA.”
“We’ll catch up later. I need a drink. Meredith?”
She nods, her voice stuck in her throat.
Joe’s isn’t as crowded as normal, and they find a table away from the door, close to the corner, for privacy.
“Are you really back?” She questions because she was still insecure, a charity case for childhood abandonment.
Addison smiles, “I am.”
“And your job?”
“Still secured. All my things are at the hotel.”
“And your friends in LA? You were there a few months.”
“They didn’t get it, at first. Well Sam didn’t. Naomi, she got it. She understood. As for Violet and the others? They were sad to see me go, but they got it,” Addison sighs, took another shot, “After you left, I realized just how much I looked forward to seeing you every day.” She leaned forward over the table, “What's with the brunette stalker? She keeps staring at us.”
She catches sight of Lexie from the corner of her eye, blows out a breath, “Not us, me. She’s my sister. Half-sister. She’s my Dad and Susan’s…” She stops, blinks away tears, “Her name is Lexie.”
Addison observed her for a moment. She’s not expecting Addison to beckon Lexie over.
“Uh,” Lexie stutters, “Yes, I’m Lexie.”
“Addison Montgomery. Sit and keep your sister company. I’m going to get more tequila,” She presses a soft kiss to Meredith’s lips, “I’ll be right back.”
“That’s your - ?”
Meredith watches Addison walk away, smiling softly, “She’s my everything.”
“And you two are dating?”
“I don’t know yet.”
Lexie smiles into her beer, “Well if you don’t date her, I will.”
Addison smiles at the Grey sisters from across the bar. It was nice to see Meredith interacting with Lexie, to see her smiling and laughing.
She turns at the voice, smiles softly as she’s pulled into a hug, “Callie, hi!”
“When did you get back?”
“Wanna grab a drink?”
“I’m actually drinking with Meredith. And her sister.”
“You’ve met Lexie,” Callie grins, nudges her shoulder, “Okay, let’s do this.”
She smirks, grabs the tray of shots, “Okay.”
It was so early and very bright and she hates it.
“ Addie , Addie,” she whispers, “Addison?”
Addison groans softly, blinks against the sunlight streaming through her hotel room window, “It’s early, Mer.”
She stretches before snuggling into Addison’s side, “Yeah, it’s early.”
Addison smiles, wraps her arm around her waist, “Mmm. So early.”
She grins, leaning up to kiss her, “I love you. Let me make it up to you.”
The redhead smirks, “Yeah?”
“Okay,” lips trail down her throat as the older woman flips her on her back, “I love you too.”