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The Devil does indeed wear Prada

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If you ask him, Lucifer will tell you that Armani suits fit him a lot better than Prada. To an extent, even Burberry suits do. And yet, his closet is mostly filled with perfectly tailored Prada suits. Truth be told, he’s got a bit of everything… Well. Except Hugo Boss. He hasn’t let the brand anywhere near him since the 1940s really. Wait. Does the creator of the brand count? Because if it does, then he’s definitely let the brand close to him. In a torture chamber of Hell. Anyhow. He’s got at least one suit by every designer known to man with a slight preference for Armani, Burberry and Prada. And he’s not even going to delve into the world of shoes because yes, he’s still upset that wearing a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes is not nearly as much as a power move for a man as it is for a woman. (Of course he has Louboutins in his closet − he’s not an animal, thank you very much − and of course he loves wearing them any chances he gets.)

The funny thing is that, yes, Prada has made a loyal customer of the Devil out of the The Devil Wears Prada series. Because yes, of course he’s read them. They’ve got his name on the cover after all and he prides himself in being very well versed in any and everything the humans come up with about him. He’s seen the movie too. But that’s because he’s partial to Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci and he sincerely hopes neither one of them is up to terrible acts in secret because he’s not sure he could stomach having to torture them in Hell for all of eternity. He idly wonders if forcing Meryl to watch all of the B movies in the world would be considered torturous enough. (He already has a list of all of Meryl’s movies to force upon a certain elected official once said elected official kicks the proverbial bucket. Maze and him have quite an impressive number of loops ready for him. That’s entirely beside the point, but by his Father is this going to be fun.)

Besides, Miranda Priestly makes him laugh. Both the original and Meryl Streep’s version. Because for once in his bloody life, he’s not actually depicted as being entirely evil. Would he go as far as calling her the Devil? No, not exactly, but he appreciates that the Devil in question is no serial killer, no deranged rapist or crazed psycho.

For once, he’s a normal woman − no, it doesn’t bother him − a ruthless businesswoman with no time for stupidity or incompetence. Sure, she’s pushy, sarcastic and demanding, but that’s ambition not evil. And he considers for half a second going down to his grave in her defense if he bloody has to. Which in and of itself should be worrying enough, but he doesn’t care. He’s always going to defend anything that depicts him in any form of positive light and that’s that. Also? She’s totally right. Florals for spring? It’s so debilitatingly uninspired that it’s become a traditional form of torture for any designer that set foot in Hell. Pierre Balmain cries for days when he’s handed nothing else but flowery prints. And no, they’re not pretty prints − or of good quality, for what it matters.

Maze thinks it’s weird he chooses to wear Prada when he so obviously prefers Armani, but the joke is lost on her and she doesn’t press the issue because well… Lucifer is gonna do whatever the fuck Lucifer wants to do. As it is, she doesn’t fully comprehend why he pays so much attention to brands in general. The way she sees things, if it’s leather or sticks to her skin like a second layer, she’s all for it, no matter if it comes from Target or that sex shop on Drive that she loves. (She’s not sure what type of place Target is. She just knows Chloe gets clothes for Trixie there so she assumes they don’t sell targets like she first thought.)

But for Lucifer, appearances are everything. As though if he puts up a front of a well together man, he’ll magically be well put together in his head as well. Maze has learn millenniums ago that his appearance always reflects how he’s feeling, even more so here on Earth than in Hell. If he’s anything less than perfectly coiffed and impeccably dressed, she knows something has upset him. It’s just harder to find out what exactly has put him in that state. Which usually means she’ll push Chloe in a room with him and lock the door behind her and let her deal with a disheveled ex-King of Hell. Maze isn’t paid high enough for that. (Well. She probably is, but she’s a torturer not a bloody therapist. That’s why they go to Linda, isn’t it?)

But hey, if the Devil decides to put on a three-piece Armani suit for his first date with Chloe in order to look his damned best, then, let's just not tell how terribly wrong Miss Weisberger was in assuming Prada was his favorite designer, shall we?