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Show n'Tell Gone Wrong

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When Kimberly got the call, she was at work. She was working with a local sponsor for a giveaway at Petco Park, but when Eastland Academy called... specifically, Emma’s teacher Mrs. Fernandez called stating that there was a problem. Kim had to leave immediately, she could figure out the free t-shirt deal later, this was about her daughter. Emma was always a good kid, she would never pick a fight with another kid. Did someone have a problem with her precious daughter? Was she sick? Did she get hurt? Kimberly could breathe a little easier knowing that her wife, Trini was just over at the High School. If Emma did get hurt or had to go to the hospital Trini was right there.

Thankfully too, out of the two, Trini was much better in a crisis.

Kimberly arrived at the Eastland Primary school to find Trini waiting outside Mrs. Fernandez’s office. “Do you know what this is about?” She asked, her eyes narrowing in concern when her wife shook her head no.

“I’m just as blind as you” Trini reached out her hand to hold her wife’s. If they were going to go in there, it would have to be as a united front. “This is Emma we’re talking about, you know she’s not the problem” Which if this meant a conflict with another student...Emma would be the victim.

“Right” Kimberly sighed, if some kid messed with Emma? Oh. There’d be absolute hell to pay. No one touches her kid.

Trini gently knocked on the door before the two stepped inside, she smiled at the first grade teacher as in some way Emily Fernandez and Trini Gomez-Hart were on the same team here as Eastland Academy teachers. Surely Emily of all people would be understanding, this was elementary school after all.

“Thank you both for coming in so quickly” Emily motioned for the two women to sit, “Emma’s not in trouble. Um, how do I put this delicately?” The petite blonde woman huffed out a sigh as she made a movement to open up her desk drawer. “I guess, I’ll get right to it. Today was show and tell day and…”

Trini and Kimberly exchanged a glance, what the hell could their daughter bring in that would cause Mrs. Emily Fernandez to call for a parent teacher meeting? “She didn’t bring in a frog did she?” Trini guessed, rubbing her forehead, Kim only frowned in confusion so Trini went to further explain. “Noah, from down the street” As if that alone connected all the dots.

“Trust me. I wish it were a frog” Emily set a shoebox on her desk, the anticipation of what was inside was starting to make Kimberly antsy. “I just, want to say that I don’t judge anything or anyone’s relationship. Love is a beautiful thing and uh”

“..........Emily” Trini’s lips curled into her mouth, she knew the Fernandez family enough, they weren’t homophobic. The school itself was very pro-diversity. “What’s in the box?” There was a sinking feeling in her gut...that her precious, innocent, baby girl got into something she shouldn’t have.

“Well” Emily mentally counted to three, preparing for the worst as she opened the box. Inside the box rested a bright pink dildo in a plastic bag. “She um…”

“Oh my god!” Kimberly’s cheeks suddenly reddened, humiliated that Emma’s first grade teacher had to handle this. Emma had gone up in front of the class with this adult toy and waved it around. Oh no. “We are so so sorry”

Trini’s eyes were wide, she was absolutely speechless. It wasn’t like they kept their toys out in the open. Emma had to go digging in her parents room to find something exciting for show and tell. With classmates like Gia and Hazel, Emma had the pressure on her to bring something good. And Mr. Cuppycake, her favorite pink stuffed rabbit, made far too many appearances. Trini had her hand over her mouth. What could she say?

“We will talk to her about this” Kimberly knew the only reason Emma was curious about the damn thing was because it was pink. God. “After we get rid it” There was one thing for sure, it was forever tainted. Kimberly wouldn’t be able to use it without thinking of her daughter. Besides, like the saying went. There were always more toys in a toybox. Fish in the sea? It didn’t matter. Kimberly was far too embarrassed to think. “I am so sorry”

“You understand how sensitive this is….”

“100%” Kimberly continued to ramble on, taking the box from off the desk and putting a lid on it. Emily already knew far too much about their sex life.

“...Emma didn’t happen to bring in the harness did she?” Trini finally spoke, asking what she thought was a logical question. Only for Kimberly to smack her arm, “What?” They would kind of need that back if Emma brought it to school.

Emily shook her head no, “It was just... that” The first grade teacher folded her arms, “Might I suggest putting it up somewhere high out of reach? Under the bed isn’t the best hiding spot for a six year old”

“Oh, I’m buying a damn safe” With a combination. Kimberly did not want to deal with this ever again. “I promise you will never have to deal with this again”

Trini could trust that Emily wouldn’t tell the other teachers on staff, she wasn’t one to gossip, and she certainly didn’t like bringing it up at all. If there was some silver lining in this…“Thank you”

The three women sat their in uncomfortable silence before Emily finally spoke up, “Oh, you’re free to go. I don’t have anything else to add” In this situation Emily just wanted the toy, out of her sight, out of her mind so she could wash her hands of it and let the parents take care of things. “I’ll see you at the spaghetti dinner on Wednesday”

“Right, see you then.” As a staff member Trini had to attend, she was even volunteering to bring beverages for the event. Hopefully by then Emily would have put this past her...but the other woman already knew too much, for sometime she would most likely see the couple and think pink dildo, pink dildo, pink dildo.

Kimberly tucked the shoe box underneath her arm, waiting until the door was closed behind them before speaking up. “What’re we going to do?”

Trini turned around so fast it was damn near record time, pointing a finger at her wife she shot a, “We’re not talking about this here” As in. Where she worked. Where god only knows who would hear them. Mrs. Landsdown’s office was one over, all it would take is one cracked door and the whole school could find out what Mrs. Gomez-Hart was packing. “We’ll figure out something when we get home”

“... Okay” They needed time to process the extent of the situation. Did Emma even know what this was for? “You...take care of that…”

“Mhmm…” Oh Kimberly already had plans with the dumpster in the back of the school. “...Is it bad that I wish she got into a fight?” Anything sounded better than this awkward conversation to come.

Trini held the bridge of her nose, as if Emma could ever get into a fight long enough with Gia Moran right around the corner. “This is going to be fine.” Just fine.


Emma was only six years old, what was Trini’s solution to try and figure out this craziness? Distractions. How was she going to even remember show and tell when her moms allowed her to invite Gia and Hazel Landsdown over for a sleepover and a movie in the actual theaters? Pink dildos couldn’t compare to her very own kids snack pack. Wow a drink, popcorn and two airheads? Sold. Trini was convinced that if they sweep it under the rug it’ll all be just fine...the movie had animated animals and everything a six year old could ever want.

A smug Trini sat in the living room, a mug of coffee to her lips as the three first graders played with age appropriate toys in the basement of their home. “See, by the time it’s next week it’ll be like... dildo who?”

Kimberly wasn’t too sure, but for now, she’d let Trini have this one. “Oh yes, my wife is so smart” She sat down on the couch, extending her legs to go over Trini’s lap. It was nice that Emma had two friends to entertain her downstairs, it meant that Kim and Trini didn’t have to. They’ll tire each other out and everyone wins.

“I just know kids” Trini didn’t like to gloat, buuut as someone who just solved the family crisis, she was sitting on cloud nine. Would she be asking Kimberly for a back massage later to celebrate such an occasion? It wasn’t out of the picture.

And then there was the sound of a crash coming from the basement.


“Emma!” Kimberly called, slowly reaching the door to their basement, it didn’t sound like a lamp had fallen. Which meant no broken glass, thankfully. “Everything okay down there?”

“Yeah!” Emma was a terrible liar. It sounded like the entire couch flipped over.

Trini had now set her mug of coffee down on the coffee table. It was time to be the bad guys and ruin the fun. The joys of being a parent. At the end of the day, the innocent furniture had to be saved. Upon descending the stairs, Trini could hear Kimberly gasp and whisper an ‘Oh no’.

Oh no?

Trini and Kimberly could only watch in horror as somehow, someway the first graders had turned their basement into two different little forts of some sort. Emma was hiding out behind the couch, clutching onto something while Hazel and Gia were fighting in the middle. Not with nerf swords. Oh the Gomez-Hart women wished. Kimberly put a hand over her mouth as she watched Gia smack Hazel right in the face with the biggest blackest dildo she had ever seen in her life. Hazel may’ve stumbled, but the dual wielding green dildo heiress quickly got back with quick paced smacking against Gia’s sides. The two first graders laughed it up at how funny the toys were as they flopped.

They had no idea.

“My god. They’re having a dildo war” Trini put a hand to her forehead, groaning, “This is not good” Where did they even get those!? Certainly not from Kimberly and Trini. Who were they kidding? Gia Moran was here. God damn it Rita! “What do we do?”

“I don’t know...I think we have something upstairs that can-”

“No, no we are not joining this...whatever this is” Trini held the bridge of her nose. Hazel Landsdown. As in the richest family in Reefside, Mrs. Aisha Landsdown worked at the school and Summer? No one wanted to be on her bad side. The Gomez-Hart family couldn’t be the sex-toy house. Trini’s job could be in question.

“Fire in the hole!” Emma threw something, small, bright and pink as if it were a grenade. Hazel and Gia split from each other to take cover. The moment it hit the ground the battery set off and it started buzzing….a vibrator was now involved in the mix.

“Okay. That’s it! I’m going in” A determined Trini started to descend the stairs, there had to be an end to this war. The girls were all giggling and having a good time, but they had no idea who’s toy chest they had raided.

“You’re so brave! I love you” Kimberly joked from the second to top of the stairs, after Trini gloated so much about fixing the problem, Kimberly was more than okay with letting Trini go in solo.

“Hey! Hey! Stop it!” Trini had to duck under some god damn anal beads that her daughter threw, aiming to hit Gia and Hazel. “These are not yours” These were not hers. Trini didn’t want to think to where these have been as she started to pick them up and hoard them close to her chest. “Where did you get these?”

Gia folded her arms, glancing to the ground, “My mom’s room” She admitted, surprising no one.

Trini was going to have to turn this into a stealing is bad lesson. “That’s stealing and you could get in very big trouble for that. Would you like it if someone stole…” What the hell did Gia own? What the hell did Hazel own that couldn’t be instantly replaced? “Would you like it if someone stole your shoes?” She looked to her own daughter, “Mr. Cuppycake?”

“Nooo not Mr. Cuppycake” Emma ducked her head down, “I’m sorry mama”

Gia sighed, understanding that walking around without shoes because someone took them would suck. “I don’t wanna get in trouble” Trini could understand, Rita could be scary.

“I’m going to return these, but, I want you all to remember to never go through someone else’s things” Trini pointed to each and everyone one of them as she started to ascend the stairs, “Remember, stealing is wrong and you can go to jail for that” Hazel, Gia and Emma’s eyes all went wide at the word jail. Was Trini proud of herself for that? No, but it was the first thing that came to mind, and it seemed to be working. “Now clean up the basement and play a nice game”

This time when Trini ascended the stairs, she kept the door open to make sure the two parents could hear everything that was going on in the basement. “Ew, ew, ew, ew” Kimberly already had a box ready for Trini to dump the adult toys in. “God she has so much”

“Y’think she hosts pure romance parties?” Kimberly asked curiously, if Trini was the one to get the toys away from the kids...she would be the one to return them to the woman across the street.

“... Don’t” Trini sat down on the couch, “I don’t want to know. I don’t want to get involved, I just want to wash my hands of this and never have to deal with it again.”

“You know...we’ll have to talk to her eventually about sex” Kimberly sighed, “We can’t avoid this forever”

“I know….” Trini leaned back, “I was hoping we wouldn’t have to deal with it until she’s thirty” A joke, of course. She knew that the day would come, likely sooner than later. “But, not like this…I don’t want them to grow up too fast”

“We will” Kimberly knew that this wouldn’t be the best time, and as much as she dreaded the talk in the future...she knew that would be okay. Trini and Kim were the best as a team after all. Before walking for the front door, Kimberly turned to face her wife. “You know you owe me for this”

For taking Rita’s sex toys back? Oh yeah, that was one mine Trini did not want to step on. “I know”

Kimberly smirked, knowing exactly what Trini would ask of her when she was on top of the world. “I’m thinking a back massage”

“Mm, sure” Trini could make that work...but while Kimberly was off having one of the most awkward talks of all time, Trini had plans to make sure Emma would never see one of their special toys ever again. A hiding spot a child would never think to look in.

A box marked taxes should do the trick.