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The World Keeps On Racing

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They’d be fine with it.

Magnus remembers Alec’s words, and wishes they had actually come true, but sadly they didn’t.

The breakfast was horrible. All of the glares he received from the other Shadowhunters, the whispers behind his back. Even Alec’s reassurances, that it’s only because of the fact they don’t see many Warlocks here didn’t really help. He still felt awful. And on top of that is this horrible headache. He prays that it doesn’t have to do anything with this new magic, but deep down he knows he’s losing control. And he hates it.

“I guess your fellow Shadowhunters don’t approve of me as much as you thought they would.” Magnus says as they enter Alec’s bedroom after this one hell of a breakfast.

Alec sighs as he turns from the door he’s just closed.

“They just need time to adjust.”

Magnus sends him a glare and a bitter smile, because no, it isn’t a matter of adjusting. It’s much more. It’s been drilled into their heads that Downworlders are always the bad guys, and Magnus is sick of it. How can everyone follow these mindless teachings?

Sometimes he wonders, how come Alexander is so different than any other Shadowhunter. He was also raised in this kind of environment. Being a Lightwood, one of the most respected family in the Shadow World, it was awaited from him to follow every single rule, to never turn a blind eye, and now…

They’re not rules, they’re suggestions.

He almost laughs as he remembers Alec’s words from just a few hours ago. Only some time ago, he would never suspect Alexander of saying such thing. But he knows what changed him, because Magnus had been changed by the same thing himself.

Love.

And it is such a joy. To watch Alec grow as a man, as a leader, a lover, a Shadowhunter who truly wants to make a change. Now Magnus sees how hard it is, to actually implement some changes, with this kind of people around him. It will take a lot of time, but he’ll never doubt his angel.

He might not have all the time in the world now, but he knows he wants to spend the amount he has with Alec.

And that he’s been stupid to hesitate. Too afraid of moving too fast, but is there such thing as moving too fast, when they’re stuck in this world where nothing is permanent and they can lose everything they have at any minute?

Magnus knows this feeling too well, to lose everything that makes him feel whole. And to lose Alexander would be too much to bear.

Alec moves slowly, until he’s standing right in front of Magnus, in the middle of his bedroom. He rests his hands on Magnus’ waist and the Warlock lets him bring him closer, his own arms wandering to hook behind Alec’s neck.

“Don’t worry about them.” Alec speaks lightly, smiling and shaking his head. “Just try not to care.”

Magnus rolls his eyes at this.

Maybe he’s never been the one to care. It never really mattered, what other people think of him, but right now, to see this kind of hatred… it just hurts. To see how divided their worlds still are.

But Alec is right, he shouldn’t worry. There’s simply no time for that. So he can’t stay here, he knows it. The atmosphere at the Institute will only get more heated when he’s here, and there’s no point at brining any more troubles upon the residents. They have enough to do, with Jonathan still on the move, trying to figure out how to destroy his bond with Clary and the escapees from The Gard, still running around New York.

The other thing, is Alec. He can’t risk him losing his job, because he broke the rules and let a Downworlder stay in his Institute. Consul Penhallow said it herself, she’s watching him precisely. And it’s better from all of them for Alec to remain at his position.

“I think we should look for a new apartment.” Magnus begins, but looks down from Alec’s face, his sight wandering to the limited space between them. He hopes Alec will pick up at the word we, but when his boyfriend speaks, it's a total different thing. 

“Magnus, I meant it. You can stay as long as you’d like-“ Alec tries, but Magnus shakes his head and interrupts.

“I know, Alexnader. And I do appreciate it, but…” He trails of, not really sure how to voice whatever he wants to say.

Alec looks at him curiously, waiting for him to elaborate, but there’s way too many reason, why he shouldn’t stay at the Institute. And Magnus is aware that Alexander would find some words to dismiss all of them. But it could only work in theory.

He feels stupid, trying to say these words when he only refused Alec a few weeks ago. He shouldn’t have. If there's one thing I've learned in the course of my long life, it's to take your time. That’s bullshit. Maybe if you actually have the time, you can take things slow. But it’s been never slow with them. Everything is always rushing.

“I don’t want these Shadowhunters to turn against you because of me.” Magnus admits and Alec’s hold on his waist tightens a bit.

“Magnus, I don’t care. I’m their boss, they can’t just-“

“Let’s just go and see a few apartments today.” Magnus suggests lightly, cutting of the topic for now. Arguing with Alec about this might be pointless, because his Shadowhunter always comes up with an eloquent and reasonable response, endlessly the diplomat.

“I can’t go with you, I have to work.” Alec exhales heavily, probably not looking forward for the day full of work at the office.

“Can’t you take a day of?” Magnus tries hopefully.

“No,” Alec laughs briefly and shakes his head. “I just took one recently.”

“Yeah, which ended up with you going on a mission to Paris to bring Clary back. I wouldn’t say that your day was fully of work, darling.”

He knows that it wasn’t a routine mission, and going after Clary was their own job, but still Alexander works way too much, and Magnus needs him to slow down, and just be there today.

“I know, but it was the right thing to do.” Alec resorts to which Magnus of course nods. Then his boyfriend sighs and speaks furthermore. “Besides, it’s not like I have a great taste in this sort of stuff, I’m sure you can choose your own house-“

“I don’t want it to be only my house.” Magnus blurts out, and Alec’s eyes focus on him now.

“What?” He asks softly.

It’s Magnus’ turn to exhale slowly as he tries to gather up his thoughts.

“I want your opinion, because I want this to be our house… I want to live with you in this new house. For us to live together.”

Alec’s expression softens even more, and he smiles, but there’s some edge to it that Magnus’ can’t place yet. Not until Alexander speaks again.

“Babe, you said no not so long ago.” He’s still smiling, and then laughs lightly. “It was too soon, I got that, I can take a hint-”

“You’re right, it was. Or at least I thought so.” Magnus quickly picks up on his words. “But it isn’t now.”

“How can a few weeks change so much?” Alec questions, but then a look of realization covers his face.

With their lives, a few weeks can change basically everything.

It took a snap of fingers for Asmodeus to take his magic away, a second for the Owl to pierce an arrow through Alec’s chest, another for Simon to banish Lilith and for Clary to disappear, a wave of hand to give Magnus a tad of magic, with all of its consequences.

The thing is, they don’t know what happens tomorrow. And the recent events made them only realise it more. They can wake up tomorrow and see the whole world in flames, but if so, he wants to watch it with Alec by his side.

“Magnus, I don’t want you to think we should rush all this now, because you think you have less time-“ Alec starts, but Magnus cuts in again.

“We don’t know how much time we have.” He says almost pleadingly. “No one knows. And it was stupid of me to refuse you in the first place. I love you, and I want to spend every minute I can with you. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it-“

“Don’t apologize.” Alec whispers softly. His voice way more emotional than Magnus would have thought, and when he looks back at his face, he can see his eyes getting a bit glassy. “I love you too.” He leans in to place a soft kiss to Magnus’ mouth. “And I want to move in with you. I want to be by your side for as long as I can.”

Magnus nods, lack of words at this confession and not exactly trusting his voice not to reveal how moved he is too.

Alec closes his eyes and rests their foreheads together. They just stay like this for a while.

“But I still need to work today.” Alec breaks their peaceful moment and pulls back lightly. Magnus resist an urge to growl, but settles on rolling his eyes again, which causes Alec to let out a warm chuckle. “We can go see all of the apartments you’d like when I’m finished tonight, okay?”

Magnus can’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s suggestion and he nods, bringing Alec down into a kiss, lack of any other words, before he needs to leave and face another day full of the Shadow World’s issues.

Magnus will always be near to support him.