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Housewives of Our Lives

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They’d started their RHONY watch parties when they were just first years in college. Harry had commandeered the television in the lounge for the show, and each of the girls had drifted in to start watching it in turns. Louis was first, swearing she just wanted to make fun of it when what she really wanted was a chance to flirt with Harry. Then came Niall, because she was Harry’s roommate and was required to know more about it. Zayn stumbled upon them one day and sat to watch the show critically, staying because nobody minded that that’s how she watched. And then Liam got in on it because, as she put it, “they all look like weird birds.” She’d even made memes about it.

Of course now all of them were totally obsessed with the show. They’d spent time marathoning old seasons to get everyone caught up, and then once they were out of college they’d started a standing date, meeting at Harry and Lou’s (because they were the ones who had cable) to watch the show once a week.

Their only exception was the reunion shows, which they’d put on the DVR to watch all at once. Yes, that meant three solid hours of women yelling at one another, but the alternative-- splitting up the reunions over several weeks --had felt too anti-climatic.

This season’s viewing was going the way they all did: Louis yelling about which of the women should “just go fuck a woman for fuck’s sake” and Zayn commenting that if they’re going to make such unethical fashion choices couldn’t they at least look good, while Harry shushed them, Niall egged them on, and Liam quietly whispered, “she really could be a reincarnated chicken.”

“Ugh! That’s fucking GAY, Sonja Morgan! Gay gay gay LEZZZBIANNNNN!!!!” Louis was bouncing on the couch, knees pulled up to her chest as Liam tried to grab the popcorn from beside her to keep it from tipping over. “Please tell me you saw the way that she touched Bethenny just now.”

Harry shushed her, waving her hand dramatically to try to get Louis to sit down and then turning to whisper, “you’re right though, darling” during the short change of housewife.

“Ugh, fucking Ramona. Nasty Trump voting asshole.” Zayn booed quietly under her breath through the rest of the scene of her flirting with a young doctor she was seeing. Harry huffed about it but mostly pretended not to notice.

Niall came running in with her bag still around her body, tossing herself into the open chair. “Shit, shit, did I miss the fight?” Harry answered her with a shake of her head. “Can we still place bets on it? I’ve got the draft board with me!” She cackled and clapped her hands when Harry whispered yes and told her to shut up until the next commercial.

They placed their bets during the break, naming whose side they thought each housewife would take. Harry bet it all on Bethenny and won.