Work Header

Even Less Coherent

Work Text:

Once upon a time, Voldemort lived under a staircase.
He was a kind man until circumstances turned his heart dark. He had separated himself from the world for some time to spare himself the pain.
His reason? "Life is a bitch... and so is my mother."
Chrom readied his blade, about to avenge all those dear to him who he'd lost on his way here.
Chrom screamed in anger and charged into a fight with Edward.
Edward Cullen screamed and crumpled to the floor as Chrom was a million times more powerful.
"Fook off, you fookin' fook," exclaimed Eddie Culls. "Fookin' try me mate, ill bash you fookin' head in."
Then the pharaoh showed up and danced with hypnotising hips that Shakira could only dream of.
"You can't change your name to 'Break the gods and topple their thrones' Karen!"
"Fuck you, Greg."
Karen and Greg turned to the pharaoh, whose hips were gyrating so fast they threaten to destroy the fabric of reality. "We have to stop him!" said Greg.
"I know," Replied Karen "But his dancing is so good I can't look away."
They were so entranced by the Pharoh that they didn't see his sexy blue cat people creeping up on them.
The sexy blue cat people threw girls covered in netting at Karen and Greg, trapping them. "I have you now!" said the pharaoh, still swinging his hips.
Then suddenly a blue box appeared with a gust of wind and a wheezing sound. Karen and Greg stared in relief as help came.
"Hello humans and secrete lizard people!" the doctor yelled followed by Valkyrie, who threw an empty liquor bottle to the ground.
Suddenly Ianto arrived with Jack Harkness "Hello there," Jack yelled
"General Kenobi" The Doctor replied.
Darleks descended from the ceiling "Exterminate! Exterminate!"
The Darlek coughed "Sorry, sorry. Could you tell me the way to Exeter mate?"