The mentioned food soul raised his head, turning his gaze towards the UR soul. A faint smile plays along his lips, a soft look filling his blue eyes. "Yes?" He replied gently, the locks in his hair swaying against the morning breeze that seeped through the kitchen window. B-52 kept his gaze glued towards the ceiling, as if he were deep in thought. "...Er..." The cocktail suddenly lost track of what he was about to say, running his mechanical arm through his white locks. Brownie merely chuckled, shaking his head. "It's alright, take your time, I don't mind waiting." The butler sets aside the cloth and glass gently on to the counter. He walked towards his fellow food soul, sitting on the nearby chair.
A few minutes have passed, the silence filled up the room, only to be accompanied with the occasional turning of the latter's gears against each other. He adjusted his seating so that his back rested against the wood behind him. Moments later, he glances down at the neatly folded letter placed on the table in front of him, and for some reason, although he couldn't put it into words, he felt as if his heart sunk.
"...What is it like..." B-52 began, his voice so quiet that Brownie had to lean in to hear his question properly, "...to say goodbye...?"
Brownie blinked at this, tilting his head as he sat back down on his chair. "Why...do you ask?" B-52 couldn't find the proper words to respond with, instead gestured towards the letter in front of him. Brownie's face twists into a mix between a frown and guilt.
"...It depends on the situation at hand." Brownie replied gently. "Although, if you know that you will not be able to cross paths once more, it... can be rather painful to do so. However you know that it's best to say goodbye, for if you don't, the pain inside will only worsen if the person you're saying goodbye to didn't receive such." B-52 maintained the blank look on his face, before leaning over as he grabbed hold of the letter, opening it gently as he read over the written words. Over, and over again, causing the tension that surrounded them to grow even thicker.
"...What is it like to receive a goodbye?"
Brownie gulped, all the while trying his best to stay composed as he talked. "... I'm... not quite sure... I've never experienced such." He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he set his gaze aside; he found it more comfortable that way. B-52 lets out a hum, along with a nod as a response. After that, the conversation ends. Until the UR soul breaks the tension between them with another question.
"...Then..." He clenched his fists, feeling himself shaking slightly, "...why did..."
Brownie stood up, walking towards him as he wrapped both arms around B-52, holding his head against his chest. B-52 didn't hesitate to hug back, a wave of emotions suddenly crashing on to him. He didn't know how to cope with these feelings, it wasn't programmed into him, how was he supposed to know to handle this conflict that lurked within every inch in his head? Brownie shushed him, trying his best to calm the latter down as he ran a gloved hand through his white locks. He was never the best at comforting, although he tried to calm the UR soul down.
"I'm sorry." Brownie said in a quiet voice, guilt lacing within his words, "I'm so sorry." B-52 felt his throat clench up, and he was shaking even more than before. Brownie only continued to apologize as he tried to comfort his fellow food soul.
"I'm sorry I hurt you."
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."
"I'm sorry I couldn't see you one last time."
"I'm so, so sorry for leaving you." Brownie whispered out, the guilt only rising as each minute passed by. B-52 merely told that it was alright, over and over. The two stayed like that forsome time, before Brownie let go, head hanging low from the shame that carried itself on to his back. B-52 raises his head to lock eyes with him, to see if he was alright, even if neither of them clearly weren't, only to widen both eyes when a gloved hand rested on his shoulder from behind.
"B..." Vodka began, a look of sympathy crossing her features. Andre rested on to her shoulder, as usual, and she gestured for him to leave them both alone, and the eagle obeyed. He flew out of the room, and when the Russian soul felt as if he were far enough, she glanced back towards B-52. "I know how much you miss him, I really do... I've seen the bond you two have formed, and I will admit you two have grown rather close. But..." Vodka couldn't find it in herself to finish her statement, instead set her gaze aside.
B-52 glanced back to where Brownie was previously standing, only to be met with the stagnant air in front of him.
"...Come on, now," Vodka ushered, "Master Attendant had told us to prepare for an exploration. However if you need time alone, I understand, I'll explain to Master Attendant."
He couldn't bottle it anymore. A tear slipped out from his eye, and as soon as it did, more slipped out as it rolled down his cheeks. B-52 raises an arm to wipe it all away, however only more came out. Surely enough, a sob hiccups out of him and he couldn't compose himself any longer. Vodka runs a gloved hand through his hair, trying her best to calm him down. Although she knew deep within her that it wouldn't be easy for him to grow accustomed to the fact that his lover wasn't here anymore.
He didn't know how to cope with it. He never knew how to cope with it. It aches. It aches so badly.
He misses him so, so much.