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The Demon who Loves Coffee

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Coffee is, and will forever be, my first love.

I instantly closed my eyes as the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee assaulted my olfactory nerves, heaving out a blissful sigh. I am an avid coffee lover. Yes, really. Caffeine is my religion. Caffeine is my government. Caffeine is my lifeline. Caffeine is—

“You look like you just had the best orgasm in your life.”

What. The. Actual. Fvck.

Of course I choked on my americano like ANY sane person who gets jumped on like that. Who says something like that like it was nothing? Who even compares the two when it is obvious that coffee is always better than sex? Seriously, it is a no-brainer. Like, having to choose between diamonds and pebbles.

I sent the devil spawn across me my best glare. He remained unperturbed; if anything, he looked like he was having fun.

He cocked his head to one side and gave me an amused smirk. I decided right then and there that I did not like him, even as he handed over extra napkins to wipe the spillage away. The damage has been done, you idiot. There’s no use crying over spilled milk, but there should be vengeance over spilled coffee.

“Mingkwan.” He offered simply, that ghost of a smile never really leaving his lips. His name actually fits him, weird just like his face. He had his left hand outstretched, and I simply looked at it like it would give me some sort of incurable, fatal disease. It probably would. He let his arm down with an amused laugh when it finally occurred to him that I would never do the same. Never, I swear on the caffeine god I so piously worship.

“You know, most people with manners shake hands.”

What does he know about manners? Coming from him, the barb really doesn’t sting. I was right about not liking him. Not only he was as weird as his name, he’s a jerk AND a hypocrite.

“You know, most people with manners do not startle people who are clearly just enjoying their coffee.” I retorted, and he smirked again. I have half a mind about throwing my hot beverage at his face, but I decided coffee is far too precious to waste on a jerk. “And people with manners do not sit unannounced on occupied tables and say weird things like orgasm to total strangers.”

“What’s wrong with orgasms? They’re perfectly normal human experiences. You’re just being stiff, P'Kit.”

HOW DID THIS JERK EVEN KNOW MY—

“It’s on your tag.”

Oh, right. I was still wearing my identification tag, as I just got out from my graveyard shift. I unpinned it from my scrubs and shoved it (with unnecessary force, if I may add) inside my bag.

“Must be tough being a nurse, huh?”

Surgeon, actually. But I’m not telling him that.

“My parents wanted me to become a doctor like themselves, but I knew that I’m more suited to be an engineer.”

So? No one’s asking you jerk. I decided to finish the last of my coffee and stood up to leave. My day is officially ruined, thanks to this devil spawn who decided I should be the target of his annoying antics. Before I could leave, however, he grabbed the hem of my scrubs and slipped a piece of folded napkin in one of the front pockets.

“See you around, cutie.”

I pulled the napkin out of my pocket, crumpled it, and threw it back at his face where it hit his mouth.

I was so right about not liking him. Ugh.

**

I’m currently on my fifth cup of French roast. Any more than this and I’d seriously have this injected in my bloodstream like some sort of IV.

“Tough day at work, huh?”

Oh god. Somebody up there must seriously hate me for spending this devil spawn my way, today of all days. I haven’t had a decent sleep in ages and the last thing I need is provocation for murder because I’d seriously do it, repercussions be damned.

I rolled my eyes in an attempt to make him go away. Of course, this doesn’t work at demons so he simply smiles at me. Wait, is that even a sympathetic smile he’s giving me?!”

I seriously need sleep, I’m already imagining things.

 “Yes, it's been tough, so would you please go away?”

“No.”

“I said please.”

“I said no.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“What are you, five?” Is he even a legit engineer? How the heck did he manage to get a license? I demand a list of all the buildings he’s had a hand in and have it rechecked against more strict safety standards.

“No, I’m twenty- six.”

“I did not ask.”

“Yes, you did.”

 “No, I didn’t.”

“Yes you—

“Go away.”

“No, I’m a paying customer, so it’s my right to stay.” He grinned at me like he won the lottery.

“What do you know about rights?”

“I have a cousin in the field. Growing up together, I’ve had too much lawyering from him to know my rights.”

 “Then you should know I also have the right to have some peace and quiet.”

"Ah, but most of the time rights get violated. So I’m staying, to give you first-hand knowledge about injustice.”

I wish I had a scalpel with me right now. Cutting a surgical knife through his tongue would be as smooth as a bread knife through soft creamy butter.

“Are you some human rights activist?” I asked, barely even keeping the annoyed sigh from escaping my mouth. “Because if so, I’d be surprised.”

 “I am full of surprises, babe.”

 “Not your babe.”

“But babe—

SO HELP ME GOD I WILL SMASH MY COFFEE MUG RIGHT AT THAT ANNOYING SMIRK OF HIS.

“Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”

We both looked up to a smiling waitress who was seriously all eye-hearts at the sight of the devil at my table. I can’t say I blame her entirely, he’s pretty cute. Tall, toned frame. Fair skin. Chinky eyes that laugh along every time he displays that perfect set of teeth.

Now if only he weren’t so annoying I would’ve—

What?! NO! There is no way I’m attracted to a jerk like him!

The jerk in question merely threw a disinterested glance at her direction before smiling at me so brightly I was almost blinded.

I couldn’t see the frown on her face but I can clearly detect it in her voice as she repeated her earlier question.

“Yes.” I deadpanned as I finished the last of my drink. “I’d like some peace of mind, please. And while you’re at it, can you please throw away the trash?”

I pointed at the jerk seated across me for emphasis. The waitress gave out a jittery, unsure laugh.

The devil was unsurprisingly unfazed. “I apologize, my boyfriend has a twisted sense of humor.”

BOYFRIEND?! No way in hell. Stop making that disgusted face, Miss, there’s no way you could be more unhappy than I am at the thought of being with the devil.

“Don’t believe him, I’m not his boyfriend.”

 “Apparently he gets to be forgetful, too.”

Merciful Buddha, give me strength.

***

I was still wheezing when I got to the coffee shop where the meeting was to be held, internally reprimanding myself for hitting the snooze button way too many times until it did not ring anymore and led to me oversleeping. I scanned the entire area for the person I was supposed to meet, a well-respected surgeon in another hospital. My boss will kill me if I make a bad impression on this very important person we are trying to woo, so that she'd finally agree to join our team.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I—

I stopped talking when I realized there was another person who was saying the same things as I was. Apparently, that said person also realized it at the same time. My eyes almost bulged out of my sockets when I realized who it was.

I am cursed to be followed around by a demon, I am quite sure of it. Said demon flashed me his usual amused smirk before settling down on a chair. I hate him.

"Hello P'Kit, what a pleasant surprise!" I had to bite back a retort, my job is at stake here. "You haven't been following me around, have you? Aw babe—

I was sure a vein in my head is about to burst and I am to die of a concussion before I could sit down. Damn him, what is he doing here? Is he trying to sabotage my efforts? Oh my god, has he been lying about being an engineer and he's just about to steal this surgeon for his own medical team? Fvck me, I knew I was right about not liking him—

"If you don't mind, Khun'Kit, I invited my son out for breakfast since he mentioned he was in the vicinity."

OH. Oh—

Oh.

So he was the son she had been telling me about during our previous meetings. The only son who is a really excellent engineer, a really doting child, the sensitive person who thinks about others before himself.

Maybe she was talking about another son? You idiot, she said she only had one.

AND THIS IS THE SON SHE WAS PRACTICALLY SINGING PRAISES ABOUT? I think I now understand what they say when they talk about a mother's love. Only a mother can look at this devil here and say he's the most charming cherub. Mothers sure are blind to most things.

"Of course I don't, Dr. Daichapanya. Maybe we can reschedule? I wouldn't want to be getting in the way of a mother-son bonding."

Beside the pleasant lady smiling at me is a jerk who is grinning like a satisfied house cat, like a villain whose plans are going the way he wants them to. I had to feign nonchalance so as not to offend Dr. Daichapanya. I mean wow, the irony. How could a perfect angel like her produce a demon? Life's greatest mystery, actually.

"Oh no, please don't think about it that way, P'." There's the demon smirk again. "If there's anyone getting in the way, that would be me."

So polite. So smiling. So pleasant-sounding.

Is this really the guy who has been annoying me all week?

Okay, this son must have a split personality where he acts all angel-like at home and the complete opposite of it outside. Yes, that must be it.

"That's settled then." The lady smiled at both of us. "Let's have breakfast first, and then we can talk later, Khun Kit."

"Of course, Dr. Daichapanya."

"How did you know my son, anyway?"

Well, I hate to break it to you madame, but this perfect son of yours is actually a demon whose idea of a perfect pastime is to annoy the hell out of me.

"P'Kitkat is my boyfriend, Mom."

See? A demon who loves coffee.

WAIT WHAT WHOSE BOYF—

***

"Wow, four years! That's quite a long time. How did you two meet again?"

I smiled indulgently at the sight of Ai'Dr. Pha placing a loving kiss on top of Nong'Wayo's cute head while my not-so-cute Mingkwan made gagging noises beside me. The new couple laughed at his antics, knowing full well that he's not really grossed out as he's pretending to be. After all, everyone knows how this idiot pulled a cupid and played matchaker on both our bestfriends. Ai'Pha and Nong'Yo did not stand a chance at the onslaught of Ming's relentless date arrangements.

"Well, Ming and I met at a coffee shop. We were both regulars there and one time we got to share a table—

"He had this blissful expression when he sipped his drink, so I came and told him he looks like he's just had the best orgasm—

"Babe!"

"What? It's true, babe!"

"Remind me again why I married you."

"You love me as much as you love coffee."

"Don't insult coffee in front of me, Mingkwan."

"But P'Kit!"

 

「終りました」