I've been all week looking for this piece of paper he gave to me, that guy it's such an smartass, he thinks that someone robbing his cellphone and almost killing him it's gonna stop me from take back what is mine. He knows me too well, he knows how clumsy and forgetful I am.
I stood from the floor and watching victorious the piece of crumpled paper with the phone number writed in there, I sit down on my bed and immediately grabbed my phone to save the number. Then I open Sup'app and searched for his number.
Me: Duuuude, what's up, you still alive or already dead…? (bitch if you're dead, don't dare to answer) 08:31
I was hoping he would send his own version of the meme, ‘I lived, bitch' but the answer didn't came as fast as usual, actually, the answer never arrived. I know he isn't is in the hospital anymore, then why...
I stared at the screen for at least twenty minutes.
Me: Maaaan, are you there? 08:45
Again, not answer.
Me: I'm worried about you. 09:04
Me: Why are you doing this to me? 09: 05
Me: You enjoy seeing me suffering, aren't you? 09:17
Me: Are you mad at me? 09:36
Me: I know exactly what makes you happy. 09:54
Me: Ta-daaah!!! Me! In the lovely, cute (and tight) red dress you gave to me, you have a very good taste. ;) 10:12
Me: I know I'm a bit fatty since the last time we see each other but hey!, the good thing is that my breasts seem to be a little bigger. 10:14
Me: Nothing? Damn… 10: 29
Me: Jokes, you like jokes. 10:33
Me: What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood? 10:34
Me: The Spaghetto. 10:34
Me: Oh, come one, dude!10:36
Me: :’( 10:39
Me: Don’t ignore me, man, you know you love me too much and most importante you know that I love you so much and what I feel for you would make me do crazy things for you. 11:07
He's not answering, he must know I’m writing him to collect my money. I just should stood up and go to buy stuff without enough money, my Wi-Fi bill has to be paid on Wednesday and today it's Saturday, great, that’s just great.
I sigh and after putting shoes and a jacket, I leave my apartment.
Sans: you do? 13:30
Like at four p.m. I arrived home with zero money, I paid all bills, except the Wi-Fi one. Why? cause I'm poor and my boss doesn't pay me enough. Also, I went to the Super Market to supply the fridge and the cupboard, only twenty dollars left for public transport. So yeah, literally zero money until the next fortnight.
I walk to my bed and sit again, grab my phone and see a Sup'app notification.
Sans: you do? 13:30
Me: Oh my, look at who decided to answer my messages. 16:22
Me: I know that you know why I'm writing to you. 16:22
Me: You're just a motherfucker, I know it's only fifty dollars, but, Dude! It’s my Wi-Fi bill’s fifty dollars. 16:23
Me: Why are you so meeeeeaaaan? 16:23
Sans: do you love me? 16:23
Me: What? 16:23
What? What the hell he's saying, he's trying to avoid paying me again.
Sans: what you just read 16:23
Me: Stop avoiding the real problem! 16:24
Sans: you do or not? 16:24
I rolled my eyes and began to get desperate.
Me: Yeah, yeah, I (Y/N) (L/N) do love you with all my heart and soul, you are the only one in my life and that will never change, it doesn’t matter what, anytime, anywhere I will do anything for you, even if involves killing. 16:24
Me: Happy? 16:25
Sans: yup 16:26
Me: Well, now pay me. 16:26
Sans: how? 16:26
Me: How what?! 16:26
Sans: how can I pay you if I don't even know you? 16:27
You sended a voice note. 16:29
Sans: woa, easy fella, there's no need to insult me and my family 16:31
Sans: you know I can just block ur number, right? 16:32
Sans: or call the police if you get all creepy again 16:32
Sans: sayin' u love me and all that weird stuff 16:32
Me: You know what? no more free blow jobs to you. 16:33
Sans: i can pay another man to do that 16:33
Me: I know you can pay or get any other man to do that! But that's not the case!!! 16:34
Sans: gotcha 16:34
Me: What? 16:34
Sans: u are a creepy old man trying to blackmail me with all the Wi-Fi bill stuff 16:35
Sans: i’m calling the police 16:35
Me: WHAT THE HELL, SANS?! 16:35
Me: Why do you always do this when you owe me money? 16:35
Me: Just pay me already and not talk to me until next month. 16:35
Sans: u are insane, man, ur must be a pedophile, killer, rapist and phsyco 16:36
Me: Stop saying I'm a creepy old man, I'm not one of those stupid man's you always know at bar's, I'm your female best friend! 16:36
Me: Like the only mad woman capable of handle you. 16:36
Sans: why should i believe you? 16:36
Me: I sent you and voice note and a picture with that fucking red dress! 16:36
Sans: how do i know that's you and not one of ur victims before you tacked action? 16:36
This little shit! I know he's just messing with me but he's so annoying and he drives me insane when he plays dumb. I lifted my t-shirt and bra to take a picture of my naked breasts with my hand showing him the middle finger.
Sans: again, how do I know that's really you if you don't even show me your face 16:38
With anger I did the same but this time included my face on the picture and before send it I just realized…
Me: Wait, Bitch, I'm not sending you again a compromising photo of me. 16:41
Me: Not since what happened last time. 16:41
Sans: and what happened last time? 16:41
Me: Are you fucking serious? Stop playing dumb, you know what you did. 16:42
Me: And Stop changing the subject! 16:42
Sans: i'm not doing anything, ur the one insulting me and sending me porn stuff 16:44
Me: FRANCIS, For fucking God's sake, stop and pay meeee, I know you already have my bank account number, just stop being a lazy Bitch and go to the cashier in front your house >:( 16:45
Sans: sans, my name is sans 16:45
Me: Yeah, yeah, I know you don't like your first name but let's not talk about that know. 16:45
Sans: my first name is sans 16:45
Me: Francis, I'm going to travel to your fucking house even if I have to buy an airplane ticket and I’m going to kill you. 16:46
Sans: but i thought u loved me 16:46
Me: That was before, right now I hate you. 16:46
Sans: welp, too bad u comin' here is never happening 16:46
Sans: u know, with all the thing of u don't even having the money to pay the Wi-Fi bill 16:46
Me: This relationship it's over, I'm dumping you, Francis. 16:47
Sans: sans* 16:47
Me: FRANCIS* 16:47
Sans: heh 16:48
“FRANCIS! What the hell, dude!? Why do you always like to make me angry, I want to strangle you so bad right now” at the moment the call connected, I screamed at him, I'm really angry right now, my heart it's beating like crazy! He's just so fucking annoying.
“sans, i told ya that my name is sans” The man said. I froze.
W h a t?