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Got My Heart in Your Hands

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Doppo opened his eyes slowly. He could feel the warmth of another body next to him. His eyes slid over to the right and he caught sight of golden hair. Definitely Hifumi. He tiredly noted the distinct lack of sunshine coming from the window. Ugh. It was way too early to be awake.


As Doppo closed his eyes to hopefully get some more sleep before his alarm woke him up at seven, he heard a sniffle. His eyes snapped back open, and he suddenly felt awake. He turned over carefully to look at Hifumi, who was hugging a pillow with his back turned to him. There was a quiet sob, muffled by the pillow.




Hifumi tensed up. It didn’t seem like it, but to Doppo, who had been with Hifumi since they were children, he could tell easily. “Hi, Doppocchin,” Hifumi said, not turning around. His voice wasn’t as happy or bright as usual. “Did I wake you up? I’m sorry.”


Doppo reached over to place a hand on Hifumi’s shoulder, but then he hesitated and drew his hand back. He wasn’t sure if Hifumi wanted to be touched right now. “Are you okay?” he asked instead. Immediately after the words left his mouth, he wanted to punch himself. What kind of stupid question was that?


There was another quiet sniffle. Doppo almost didn’t hear it. “I’m—I’m fine, Doppocchin.” Doppo’s heart sank. Hifumi was lying. He definitely wasn’t fine. But of course Hifumi wouldn’t want to tell him what was wrong. It’s not like he could help with anything. Hifumi sobbed again, a bit louder this time. His shoulders shook. Doppo’s heart dropped even further. He had asked the wrong thing, and now Hifumi was crying harder. Oh, God, this was all his fault. What was wrong with him? Ugh. He really couldn’t do anything right.


“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Doppo muttered, staring blankly at the space between them. Maybe he should just leave it. After all, Hifumi was strong. He didn’t need someone like Doppo there making things worse. But he hesitated. After everything that Hifumi had done for him, could he really leave Hifumi to cry alone?


Doppo’s voice was quiet when he asked, “Do you need a hug?” Hifumi stilled. It was completely silent for seconds, minutes, hours, days. Then, slowly, Hifumi nodded. This time there was no reluctance. Doppo reached over and draped his arm over Hifumi, pulling him close to him.


“Please tell me what’s wrong,” Doppo murmured. “I… I want to help you.”


“Doppocchin…” And then Hifumi was full-on crying, shoulders shaking, sobbing loudly. He turned over and pressed his face into Doppo’s shirt. Doppo’s eyes widened. He really was horrible at comforting people, wasn’t he? He always seemed to make others just cry harder. He wasn’t cut out for this.


A quiet cry brought him out of his thoughts. Doppo took a deep breath and tried to force those thoughts away. Right now, Hifumi needed him. He held Hifumi as Hifumi cried into his shirt. “Um, it’s okay,” Doppo tried. “I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”


Hifumi sniffed, then nodded slightly against Doppo’s chest.


“If… if you really don’t wanna talk about it, then it’s fine. But if you ever n-need anything, I’m here. Okay? You’re important to me.” Hifumi sniffed again. “I... I know, Doppocchin,” Hifumi said, voice muffled against Doppo’s chest. “I just—had a bad day at work. There was a—a new guy, a-and I don’t know why but he was just super mad at me, or something. I don’t know what I d-did wrong!”


Doppo pulled Hifumi closer, stroking pale gold hair. “A-And he called me a—a—a slut!” Doppo had to force himself not to tense up or close his hands into fists. “He said that the only reason why the club keeps me on their p-payroll is ‘cause I… ‘cause I…” Hifumi dissolved into another fit of sobs. He didn’t have to finish that sentence. Doppo knew exactly what the sentiment was.


“Doppo?” Doppo blinked. Hifumi was looking at him, eyes wide and watery. “You… you don’t believe him, do you?” Hifumi’s voice was quiet, almost afraid. “N-No! Of course I don’t. I know th-that you’d never.” He brought his hand to Hifumi’s face and gently wiped Hifumi’s tears away. “I trust you,” Doppo whispered.


Hifumi blinked, then looked away. “But why?” he muttered quietly. Doppo blinked, at a loss for words. “Why what?” he asked. “Why do you trust me? I mean I—I work all night at a club, and you don’t see me a lot. For all you know I could be out there with some girl every night! Why do you still trust me?”


Doppo was quiet for a second.


Then he sighed and placed a kiss on Hifumi’s forehead. “Because I love you, silly Hifumin,” he said, parroting the words that Hifumi was so fond of telling him. "I love you, and I—I trust you not to break my heart."


Hifumi looked up at the words. His eyes filled with tears again, and he brought up a hand to wipe them away before burying his face into Doppo’s chest again. Doppo rubbed his back. “Get some rest, okay?” Hifumi nodded.


With Hifumi still holding on to him, Doppo started humming quietly. It was a familiar tune, one that Hifumi would sing to him if he felt down. Doppo felt Hifumi relaxing against him, the tension releasing from his body. The shaking of Hifumi’s shoulders slowed until they came to a stop.


Hifumi stopped humming and placed a kiss on Hifumi on the top of Hifumi’s head. “I love you too,” Doppo heard Hifumi whisper.


Doppo smiled.