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crackheads only, the novel

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Maybe Michael hadn't been thinking things through when he made a Discord server and posted the link on his Tumblr. Nevermind, he definitely hadn't been thinking things through, but Jeremy would probably see the link and join it now that he'd stopped ignoring–hurting, shoving, glaring, loser–Michael, and they'd make a bunch of friends. Sophomore year would never happen again, right? Right?

He returned his gaze to his phone when it buzzed in his hand.

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»» Hey! Listen! Queere has joined!

cthulhu ate my asshole: howdy cowboys can i get a yeehaw

Queerestfu

Queere: is it  j u s t  u s ?

cthulhu ate my asshole:  c AN i gET A yEEhAW

Queere: .. hawyee

cthulhu ate my asshole: aw man

cthulhu ate my asshole: like, youre gonna make me use 1% of my power

Queere: ur so draamatc, fine

Queere: yeehaw

cthulhu ate my asshole: thank

Queere: welc

»» It's bich! Praise the sun! \[T]/

bich: Hey losers

Queere: no

cthulhu ate my asshole: sorry nothing personal but that word is officially banned, slip-ups or unknowing uses not-withstanding

bich: Um. Okay?? Tf???

cthulhu ate my asshole: wait tf do you have autocorrect on? or autocapital?

bich: Yeet 

Queere: deadass??

bich: Yeah tf??

cthulhu ate my asshole: i- ive never met a teen with,,,,,, autocapitols before faints mellodramatically oml haha im so funny

Queere: stfu you spelled it wrong

cthulhu ate my asshole: shut your bitch ass up im emo

bich: Emo? EMo? Le-lemme tell you about Emo, sonny boy- i once bleached my hair just so i could dye the front of it red, and it still hasn't faded actually fucking kill me

Queere: this is so sad, keanu, play alternative top ten

bich: Wait tf Keanu??

Queere: oh oof squip joke yeet

bich: ShIt man you have one?? I-I know how to get rid of them if you need to

bich: I only got rid of mine at the end of Sophomore year, had it since halfway through Freshman

Queere: hell, dude, i got mine halfway through sophomore, got rid of it at the end of the year, made me ditch my best friend

cthulhu ate my asshole: quietly walks in i was the bes friend yeET

bich: Damn, small world lmao

bich: Oh uhhh btw,, names?? pronouns?? I'm Rich (actually Richard but I'll actually just defenestrate myself and cry if I'm called that yeet We Love Triggers Here), they/them pls do not bully me I am small and weak

cthulhu ate my asshole: oh thank you goddess we love diversity here

cthulhu ate my asshole: im michael, feel free to use nichnames as long as theyre not feminine, he/him (trans guy yEET but dw u can bully me i crave attention)

Queere: dont bully him he'll actually cry

cthulhu ate my asshole: wtf dont expose me

bich: Lmao

QueereaNyWaY im Jeremy Heere (u see i am vv funny hAHA LAUGH AT MY NAME I CRAVE VALIDATION) he/him they/them she/her idfk gender's a social construct

bich: ur validation

cthulhu ate my asshole: tea

»» audrey 2 has joined the server! It's super effective!

Queere:  oh shit a new person

cthulhu ate my asshole: howdy ho laddy welcome aboard my pirate ship

Queere: tf

cthulhu ate my asshole: srry srry hi new person!!

audrey 2:  wh

bich: Oof oof welcome to hell, can I have your name, pronouns, and the last four numbers of your credit card, c'mon Fortniters

cthulhu ate my asshole: tf

Queere: tf

Audrey 2: tf

bich: You guys don't know that meme?? HeCK gott a blAST

cthulhu ate my asshole: oh its a meme makes sense

Queere: yee

audrey 2: um. hi. i'm evan?? he him, trans male

bich: Shit I forgot the new one I'm so sorry for this terrible first impression

cthulhu ate my asshole: ^^^

Queere: rt

audrey 2: it's fine dw lmao

audrey 2: should you pin the intros?? they'll probs get lost in the disaster this gc seems to be

cthulhu ate my asshole: damn i just got called out by a plant

cthulhu ate my asshole: fair point tho 

cthulhu ate my asshole pinned "um. hi. i'm evan?? he him, trans male" to #general

cthulhu ate my asshole pinned "Oh uhhh btw,, names?? pronouns?? I'm Rich (actually Richard but I'll actually just defenestrate myself and cry if I'm called that yeet We Love Triggers Here), they/them pls do not bully me I am small and weak" to #general 

cthulhu ate my asshole pinned "im michael, feel free to use nichnames as long as theyre not feminine, he/him (trans guy yEET but dw u can bully me i crave attention)" to #general

cthulhu ate my asshole pinned "aNyWaY im Jeremy Heere (u see i am vv funny hAHA LAUGH AT MY NAME I CRAVE VALIDATION) he/him they/them she/her idfk gender's a social construct" to #general

cthulhu ate my asshole: ugh that took so much effort

cthulhu ate my asshole: guys

cthulhu ate my asshole: ,,,

cthulhu ate my asshole: fellow sailors aboard my pirate ship??

cthulhu ate my asshole: tf whered yall go its been fifteen minutes

cthulhu ate my asshole: are yall sleeping what time is it??

cthulhu ate my asshole: oh. shit. 'tis 7 am

cthulhu ate my asshole: gotTA BLAST

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»» Cheers, love! BreadRollan is here!

BreadRollan: Hello!

BreadRollan: shit. theyre..... night dwellers

bich: Tf

BreadRollan: gotta blaST