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Free Ride

Chapter Text

Crowley was walking down the street when he saw a shiny black automobile parked outside a dealership. Walking up to it, he ran a hand across the side of it and sighed longingly. Glancing to both sides, he could see the coast was clear and smirked before hopping inside and willing it to start before driving off in his new Bentley.


Aziraphale looked up from his book in mild annoyance at the increasingly loud rumbling noise coming towards his bookshop and saw a gleaming black luxury car wedging itself into what was clearly not a parking spot on the curb. He sighed and put his book down, knowing any attempt to get further in his reading would be thwarted by an excited demon trying his hardest to act nonchalant while he informed of the newest thing the humans had come up with. Now, this isn’t to say Aziraphale hadn’t ignored the demon and kept reading before, but that was met with a lot of needling and poking he didn’t have the energy for. Currently though, he had to admit he was slightly intrigued as to what his counterpart would come in with. And with that thought, the bell jingled violently as the front door banged against the inside of the shop and said demon sauntered in, twirling a ring of keys around his index finger.

“I see you’ve found a new toy, dear.” the angel commented in the way someone who has very little knowledge in a topic but wants to be polite does.

“It’s hardly a toy, angel,” the demon scoffed. “It’s a means of transportation, and more than that, an instrument of sin. Everyone wants a look at it, if not to own it themselves. Inspires envy and greed, y’see.” Though, to be completely honest, he didn’t know why any human would actually want to be in his position, he thought wryly. Looking at Aziraphale’s small, knowing smirk and slightly raised eyebrow though, gave him an idea of why they might.

“I certainly hope you obtained it legally, then.”

“Oh, relax, I’m just taking it for a test drive.”

The angel raised his eyebrow fully this time, looking much akin to a disappointed teacher who knows exactly what’s going on. “And how long will that last?”

Crowley grinned like a snake and shrugged. “I doubt anyone will miss it. After all, there’s plenty of other unsold luxury cars in the dealership.”

Aziraphale let out an exasperated little sigh which elevated Crowley’s mood even more than stealing a car in plain sight already had. “You know I’ll have to thwart you now, right?”

“Pretty hard to thwart something that’s already been done, angel.”

His counterpart tutted before standing. “But I will still have to fix your little stunt. Theft is nowhere near virtuous.”

“You don’t have to,” the demon cajoled, “ could just let it slip. Would make getting to The Ritz so much easier, after all.”

“Don’t you try to tempt me, you old Serpent! I’ll have you know I’m a paragon of virtue.”

Crowley snorted at that. “Ah yes, the angel who hoards books is most definitely not guilty of avarice.”

“You shut your mouth! I’m collecting for the education of humanity. Purely noble, I swear.”

Another snort. “Humanity can learn to keep hours so strange a freelancer would think of posting his. I can hardly see how they can get in here, let alone read anything.”

“Archival purposes. Can’t have the Library of Alexandria happening again, can we?”

A feeling of sudden foreboding washed over Crowley at the comment and he shook his head a bit to dispel the feeling. “No, can’t have that.” A beat of silence followed before he spoke up again. “Care for a tour?”

“How much is there really to tour in a space so small, though?”

“Far more than you’d imagine, angel.”

Aziraphale sighed and gestured to the door. “Why not. Might as well see what spurred your latest demonic act.”

Crowley grinned and led him out to the Bentley, delighting in showing off every bell and whistle to an angel who liked him far more than he should.