Have you ever left food in the fridge for later, only to find out it had disappeared the next time you checked?
Jiro was confused because he was absolutely sure he had placed a slice of delicious chocolate cake in the fridge yesterday. Did it grow legs and walk away? Of course not. Even Jiro wasn’t stupid enough to think that. Someone must have taken it! But who? Well, it really wasn’t much of a mystery.
There were only two other people in the house. He knew it wasn’t Ichiro because his older brother was the best — the embodiment of all that is wonderful in the world — and would never ever take something of his without asking. Not that he would need to ask because what was Jiro’s was his. Clothes, money, manga, anime figures, future girlfriend, kidneys. Everything.
That left only one person: Saburo. The brat had a sweet tooth the size of Mt. Fuji, devouring anything chocolatey like a ravenous wolf. But only in front of Jiro. He ate like a fucking squirrel around everyone else, including Nii-chan. Trying to keep up that innocent act. But that’s a dirty lie and anyone who spent more than a minute with him would know he was evil. So of course the inconsiderate brat ate it!
Fuck! Now he was pissed! Why can’t that arrogant little prick be nicer to him? He was always mocking him even when he tried to be the bigger man. Thinking about his little brother was always so frustrating.
He could go on and on about his annoying sharp-tongued, ruthless, anal, socially awkward, insufferable, smug, condescending brother but right now, he should be focusing on the real problem. Confronting Saburo.
But the little shit wasn’t home — what could he be doing? He didn’t have any friends — so how was he suppose to unleash all this impotent rage?
Jack off on Saburo’s things. Yeah, that’ll show him. You do not mess with a man’s food. Especially his fancy chocolate cake that he made in home ec with some cute girls.
As he stood in Saburo’s room, he had to decide what item to mess with. Not on his computer. That shit was expensive and he didn’t want to have to replace it. His plushies? Nah, it would be a bitch to clean and a few of them were presents from him. Maybe one of his board games?
He spotted the chess set on the table and grinned. Perfect.
Alright, now how the fuck was this gonna work? He needed some wanking material. Should he try to sexy up the chess pieces to get him in the mood?
Wait, were there any sexy chess piece anime girls? He pulled up his phone to search online and lo and behold, there were. Results from six light novels, nine mangas, four animes, and twenty different hentais. Plenty to choose from.
Somehow he ended up on several sites, looking up some very little explicit art before actually becoming genuinely interested in a few anime series. He instantly fell in love with a cute tsundere king piece from a recently aired anime and started watching the first episode. She only appeared at the end of the episode so he had to watch the next episode as well. And he wasn’t disappointed. Sure she was really abrasive, rude and possibly evil but that one glimpse of her cuteness was enough to steal Jiro’s heart. The third episode wouldn’t be released until tomorrow so he settled for finding cute fan art of her. He would show it to Niichan to see if he’d be interested in watching it as well.
Wait, wasn’t there something important he had to do?
Oh right, nutting on Saburo’s chess board. Hopefully he didn’t waste too much time already.
Using his new found porn and horniness, he got to work. He would have to make do with Saburo’s hand lotion though. No one wants a chafed dick.
So there he was, rubbing one out on Saburo’s bed, thinking about his new hot waifu and some other horny stuff. Then his mind drifted to how pissed Saburo would be. Face all red, lips in a snarl, ready to attack like a feral cat. That really got his hate boner going.
A few more strokes and he came, making sure to aim it all on the chessboard. He wiggled it around a bit, trying to even things out.
A sound caught his attention and he turned his head, finding Saburo standing at the door.
But he didn’t look as mad as Jiro had expected. He looked almost curious. Then his eyes darted to the left for a second and Jiro knew he was fucked. That was in the direction of his room! Suddenly Saburo ran and Jiro panicked. Fuck, what was planning?
Jiro quickly moved and immediately regretted it. His pants were still around his ankles, restricting his movement and causing him to fall on the floor. He struggled like a cat in a paper bag before managing to fix his pants enough to stand up and hurry out.
By the time he made it to his room, the door was locked. He banged on it.
“Saburo! Get the fuck outta my room!”
He was answered with a loud and obnoxious drawn out moan.
“No! What are you doing in there?!” It couldn’t be-! He wouldn’t dare! Was this how Saburo was going to get back at him?
“Just saying hello to one of your precious figures. Hmm, what was her name again? Rin?”
“Nooo! Not Rin!” He wanted to cry. That brat was going to defile one of his most treasured anime figures. It was a gift from Niichan for his sixteenth birthday, the first gift he received since they reconnected. It held a special place in his heart. Why would Saburo do something so cruel?
Saburo’s evil laughter echoed throughout the house.
Unable to really do anything, Jiro stood by the door and listened to his little brother jack off in his room. Sure, he could go back to Saburo’s room to wreak havoc but he couldn’t move his feet. Something kept him there. Then he felt it. The undeniable urge to one up that little bitch! He would not let Saburo get the last laugh. He started to furiously pump his dick. When that little fucker comes out, he’d have a nice wet load ready! Look, he was horny and angry, it sounded like a good idea at the time.
He was still listening intently but there wasn’t much noise, just the occasional schlick and squelch. Then he heard a groan and a cute moan and then suddenly he was coming? What the fuck?
He looked at his baby batter splattered on his door. Now what was he suppose to do? He knew he could probably get hard again but even he wasn’t a miracle worker.
Okay, change of plans.
As soon as the door unlocked, Jiro forced his way in to tackle Saburo to the ground. He went down easy because he was a friendless loser nerd that spent way too much time on the computer. Jiro quickly pinned him down before he could get in a cheap shot.
“You little shit! Where is she?” Jiro demanded.
Saburo offered a cocky grin, eyes sliding to the direction of the bed. As though everything was moving in slow motion, Jiro followed his gaze and braved himself for what he was about to see.
It didn’t prepare him for this.
On the bed was Jiro’s figure, drenched in so much jizz that he barely recognized her. And not just that, there was some on the mother fucking ceiling. Why the fuck was there so much splooge?! Should he be concerned about Saburo?
Jiro silently mourned for Rin, before turning his ire to fire hose Saburo. He had to ask, even if he already knew the answer.
“Did you eat my chocolate cake?”
Saburo smirked like a smug and satisfied cat. “Yeah, and it was delicious.”
He was still pissed at Saburo but a warmth was blossoming in his chest at hearing his words. “Really? Thanks! I made it in class and everyone agreed it was the best!” He looked embarrassed and happy at what he thought was a compliment.
The smirk immediately left his face, replace with a look of revulsion. “I take it back. It was awful.”
“If it was so awful, why’d you eat it all, huh?” Jiro retorted.
“I took one bite and threw the rest in the trash. Where it belongs,” Saburo scoffed.
Jiro knew for sure that he didn’t throw it in the trash. He had checked it thoroughly.
“I’m telling Nii-chan!”
Saburo snorted. “What are you going to tell him? That I ate your cake and you masturbated in my room and made a mess? I’m sure Ichi-nii will love to hear all that.”
Yeah, that was pretty bad now that he heard it laid out like that. But he wasn’t the only guilty one. “Well, you left out how you went to my room and did the same.”
Saburo didn’t look happy about that. “...I hope you realize that telling Ichi-nii won’t benefit either of us. Or is your brain not functioning because all your blood is still in your pathetic excuse of a dick.”
Why is he like this?!
“Shut the fuck up! Everything you say is so annoying!” Jiro growled out, looking at him straight in the eyes.
Saburo didn’t yield. He never did. “Why don’t you make me.”
“I’m gonna choke you with my dick.” Wait what? That came out wrong but it was too late to back down.
Saburo didn’t miss a beat. “Ha, with that puny thing? I’d like to see you try.”
Fuck Saburo! If he didn’t think he had the balls to do it, he’s got another thing coming. He would show him who’s-
The door opened and the familiar voice of a god called into the house.
The tension immediately dissipated and they both looked to the direction of the front door, excited. “Welcome home!” They shouted back.
Then they returned to glaring at each other.
“Put your dick away. Ichi-nii doesn’t need to see that repulsive thing.”
Sure enough, Jiro’s dick was still hanging out. He really hoped it wasn’t obvious he just recently blew a load.
“You got jizz on your pants, brat,” he fired back, hoping it would distract Saburo.
Saburo almost didn’t look, thinking it was another trick. But he did and was embarrassed to see his pants were indeed dirty. They both had to clean up before seeing Nii-chan.
Jiro got up first and offered a hand — his clean hand — but Saburo ignored the gesture and left without a word. Brat.
He looked sadly at the figure on his bed before picking it up. Gross, it was sticky. Without thinking, he lifted a hand to his mouth and licked it.
...It wasn’t as salty as his.