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Stiles Goes to Google- What Could Go Wrong? Oh Right, Everything!

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“Lyds! Come on, do I seriously have to do this?” Stiles whined as he followed after Lydia as she went upstairs in his house to pack for him.

Sometimes Stiles wonders who actually lived here.

“Yes, seriously Stiles. You’re too smart to waste your life away in this tiny ass town where you get attacked by everything supernatural every other hour. You need a break from this place and do something with your life!” Lydia lectured for what felt like the hundredth time, “and you better get this internship, there is absolutely no reason you shouldn’t get this, you know google like the back of your hand with all that researching you do for the pack”

“Using Google and running Google is completely different!” Stiles yelled, but fell back onto his bed, defeated.

It’s really no use arguing against Lydia, she always gets her way.

Stiles gave up on fighting with Lydia and just let her pack everything for him, because for fuck’s sake it’s Lydia, it’s easier to just let her win. It’s quicker too.

What sucked, even more, is that there was nobody to back him up. His dad actually agreed with Lydia and everyone else was too afraid of her to help him out. Some pack, though he couldn’t really blame them. She was terrifying.

In the meantime, while Lydia controlled his future, Stiles decided to use his time to do what he did best; research. He looked up what this internship was like, what the campus was like, and what his dorm would be like. By the end of his research spiral, as Scott called it, he knew everything there was to know about Google. It's suffice to say that Lydia is definitely getting her revenge. Really, the internship has to be two years? Sure, it’s Google and they’re detailed but seriously, that’s a long time.

In all fairness, it seems like he’ll get breaks and there are a lot of classes and events that Google puts on. Also, it’s a paid internship and the on-campus dorms are more like on-campus apartments really, and you stay there for free. Ok Lydia, maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe.

Two weeks later, and Lydia shipped all his luggage to Google ahead of time, and honestly the fact that he has no idea what she packed should be scary, but that this point he’s too tired of fighting with her to fight more. He trusts her. Sort of. To be honest, though, she probably packed everything he would’ve forgotten, like his contacts. He always forgets to pack those so maybe it’s a blessing she packed for him, this way he didn’t have to worry about anything. Anyways, she shipped it ahead of time because Google asked the interns to, something about making settling in quicker the weekend before orientation.

Stiles still isn’t jumping with joy about the name change, however. He gets that maybe that April’s fools prank went a little too far, but he doesn’t think he quite deserves to live as Stuart Twombly. Like seriously, what kind of name is that?! Well, Scott thinks it’s hilarious… and so did Erica, Boyd, Isaac, Kira, Jackson, and his dad… also Melissa. So basically everyone in the pack thought it was hilarious. It was too bad Derek wasn’t there, his eyebrows might have slightly raised and he would’ve grunted amusedly

Woah, that was weird. He hadn’t thought about Derek in a while, not since before the Ghost riders happened. God, he was still pissed. He just left. Derek fucking deserted them.

Okay Stiles, calm down, he told himself, Don’t get worked up right before you leave

Google HQ was in California, so he didn’t need to fly, he just needed a trusty road trip with Roscoe. His dad and Lydia weren't too happy about this since at this point Roscoe is about 60% duct tape, but Stiles wasn't willing to give up his trusty jeep.

He was leaving tomorrow, so the pack was having a ‘surprise’ going away party. It was cute they thought they could pull a fast one over on him. Even if he wasn’t their emissary, he still was the son of the sheriff, he could detect a thing or two. Isaac having one of his random question outbursts that just so happened to be about Stiles’s favorite things, Erica making comments under her breath about how she was glad he couldn’t smell lies (she thought he couldn’t hear her), and Scott asking about where the best pizza place was because of a date with his lactose intolerant girlfriend (really Scott? That’s just sad).

Of course, Stiles still acted surprised when he arrived at the party at his house (seriously, did everyone live here?!) and he still appreciates the thought of course. God he was gonna miss this at Google, he really thought he wasn’t going to make any friends there. No offense, but he wasn’t interested in becoming friends with kids who had 4.7 GPA’s or were only there because their parents paid their way into the internship. He wanted to stay in Beacon Hills, with Lydia’s sarcastic comments that almost match his ( the key word there being almost), Isaac’s love of puppy piles, Erica calling him Batman, Scott’s uneven jaw, Malia’s coyote-like tendencies, and even Boyd being a man of few words. God, he would miss the pack so much.

Stiles enjoyed the party as much as he could with these thoughts racing through his brain, he didn’t want to be a downer. He was sure the pack could smell how sad he was, but also how happy he was in that moment. The world could end tomorrow and he would have no complaints. Well, except he would love it if his dad finally admitted that he had a crush on Melissa. Whatever though.

“Guys! We should play never have I ever!” Erica suddenly shouted excitedly. Oh no, when Erica gets excited about something, everyone should be terrified.

“That would be my cue! I would like to end my night before a drinking game, and since it’s so, Melissa agreed to let me stay at her place for the night, so you kiddos have the house to yourself. You are all welcome to stay the night!” the Sheriff announced, before grabbing a bag and his keys.

“Thanks, Papa Stilinski! Have fun at Melissa’s! Well, not too much fun, but then again, who will know!” Erica winked at him, ignoring the groans from Scott about that being his mom.

Stiles just chuckled, Erica’s tact or lack thereof would be another thing he would miss at Google. However, he would not miss drinking games with werewolves. He was just glad his dad didn’t mind, Stiles has been through a lot and if anyone has a reason to drink, it’s him.

“Do we have to make this a drinking game? Lydia and I are the only ones who can actually get drunk!” He exclaimed. Also, being with werewolves who can literally hear you if you lie is a total disadvantage. However, he would never tell them but through the emissary bond, he can actually tell when they’re lying as well. It’s great.

“Exactly! That’s what makes it so fun for us!” Jackson laughed. Of course, Jackson would find the most amusement in his pain.

It was really a pain to try to fight with Erica, it wasn’t as bad as it was with Lydia, but it was still tough. He just gave in and sat in the circle and got ready for the judgment. He was kind not in control of his body for the better part of the year with the nogitsune and then he was in another dimension for another better part of a year because of the Ghost riders, so it made sense he wouldn’t have done as much than everyone else. At least he had an excuse.

“Fine, but if I’m being forced to do this then I want to start at least,” Stiles said defeatedly.

Everyone agreed, figuring he is the guest of honor and also the next time they would see him would probably be during Thanksgiving and that’s a long time in dog years. They got settled in a circle and poured drinks for the respective humans since it was kind of a waste for the werewolves to drink.

“Never have I ever been a werewolf,” Stiles said, going straight for the low blow and watched as everyone rolled their eyes but still put their fingers down except for Lydia. Well, she rolled her eyes but she didn’t put her finger down.

Even though the werewolves couldn’t get drunk from this game, they changed the rules a little so it was enjoyable. Basically, whoever lost or whoever lost all their fingers first, had to do a dare decided by whoever had the most fingers still up. If there was a tie, then they just would both do it.

“Well if we’re playing like that, then never have I ever had ADHD,” Scott said smugly as Stiles put his finger down and took a shot.

“Could’ve fooled me” Lydia muttered under her breath.

“Enough with the boring questions, let’s do something fun! Never have I ever had more than three threesomes” Erica said, almost more smug than Scott was.

Isaac, Boyd, Malia, and Stiles put their fingers down but everyone was focused on how to hurt Erica was that they had a threesome without her, that nobody actually noticed it when Stiles put his finger down and took a shot.

“Never have I ever used more than one toy in bed,” Boyd said, sort of surprising everyone knowing Erica until she called him out.

“Liar” Erica glared.

Boyd just shrugged and put his finger down along with Erica, Isaac, Scott, Kira Lydia and also Stiles. There were too many fingers going down for anyone to address Stiles. It was surprising nobody noticed how many shots he took, but then again it was like once the sexual questions came up everyone immediately ignored him.

Questions like this kind of went on, the oddball question that was nonsexual, and by the time it was Stiles’s turn again, he was down to three fingers and felt very woozy.

“Hold up, Stilinski why do you only have three fingers left?” Jackson questioned, being the very first to underestimate him.

“Cause I did the stuff. That’s how this game works, you do the stuff, you put a finger down.” Stiles said matter-of-factly, sort of shaky but that just made Stiles look hilarious to everyone else.

“Wait so… you’re not a virgin?” Erica said, confused.

“No? I haven’t been a virgin since likeeeee sophomore year” Stiles shrugged, dragging out the ‘e’ in ‘like’.

“What?! Dude! How could you not tell me!” Scott commanded.

“I dunno, just never came up. My sex life has nothing to do with werewolves” Stiles admitted, making everyone else wonder what else about him they didn’t know.

“Ok, well it is your turn so go ahead Stiles” Kira stated, changing the topic.


The game went on, and this time everyone watched as Stiles took his shots and lost soon after his turn. His luck turned to crap when the people with the most fingers still up were Lydia, Scott, and Erica. How this happened, he didn’t know but they were all tied with three fingers. This pack really got around.

The three left the room to deliberate, letting Stiles stew in his drunkenness with the others. Isaac took this opportunity to puppy pile on top of Stiles, claiming this was his last chance for a while since he was leaving. He actually made a good point, so everyone agreed and soon enough, Stiles was half awake and drunk and having the time of his life. He wouldn’t really admit it, but he loved the puppy piles, they made him feel safe, warm and loved, and gosh he really loved that feeling.

The night was soon ruined for Stiles when Scott, Erica, and Lydia came back in demanding his phone.

“ So here’s the deal, we have one hour to go through your phone with everyone, and you have to explain anything and everything we ask about” Lydia announced with her signature smirk, no doubt being the mastermind behind this dare.

Honestly, being too drunk to care, Stiles just unlocked his phone and handed it to her. It really wasn’t a big deal, he was good at deleting his browser history- the key is to always keep it on private and exit out of every tab when you’re done. His only worry was his notes section, that’s just plain weird. Also his Instagram DM’s. Oh god and his photos. This was going to be a shit show.

In the end, the pack had fun laughing at his note section with random notes form 3 AM while he was sleep deprived as well as disgusted by the number of dick pics he had that definitely weren’t his. Honestly, Scott was glad none of them were Stiles’s, cause that just is gross but Erica was disappointed. They took so long in his photos and his notes that they barely had ten minutes left when they moved on to his text messages. Thing is, Stiles never deletes any text messages so there are some in there from Sophomore year. Yikes.

“Wait, Stiles do you just never delete your text messages? How far back do these go?” Jackson laughed, stating what Stiles just realized they’d figure out.

“Well I got the phone beginning of Sophomore year so, that far back. I don’t delete that stuff, it’s too much effort” Stiles admitted begrudgingly.

“No fucking way, Sourwolf?! You texted Derek when he was around?!” Erica exclaimed.

Stiles’s underlying feelings of resentment and anger suddenly came full force at the thought of Derek, the dick. He honestly forgot he still had Derek’s contact in his phone, or that he texted him


“Wait and like Derek actually responded? No offense but you were pretty annoying, well you still are but I’m used to it by now” Jackson laughed, his jackassery on display.

If looks could kill, Jackson would be dead, dead, and dead. Lydia just didn’t like it when Jackson was a dick to Stiles for no reason, and all the werewolves could tell how talking about Derek upset Stiles and didn’t care for Jackson saying that regardless.

“Uh yeah, I honestly forgot about that, a lot has happened since he left” Stiles grumbled, kind of sobered up now. Of course, he'll still have a headache the next couple of days, he wasn't as good as Lydia at handling his alcohol.

“Wait what the hell is this?! Are you actually fucking with me now?” Jackson now is the only one enjoying going through Stiles’s text messages with Derek, “You fucking asked him about knotting? And that’s an actual thing too?!”

Stiles’s face burned red hot, he also had forgotten about that. He was reading up on werewolf lore and came across some contradicting information and he was really curious. Also, he was a horny teenager and the thought of it may or may not had turned him on a little.

Stiles explained just that, minus the horny teenager part of it. Afterward, Lydia called time of death and forced Jackson to give Stiles his phone back before gathering everyone into the living room to watch a movie and cuddle as the end to Stiles’s night. He could’ve done without the Jackson Jackass show but still, he really wanted to forget about that but lately, Derek’s been on his mind and he just won’t leave. He was glad his pack didn’t mention it when he undoubtedly smelt of the cocktail of different anger themed emotions, as well as residual embarrassment from Jackson exposing his text messages like that.

Let’s just say it made it a little easier to leave the next morning knowing he’d get away from all thoughts about Derek, also further away from Jackson. Stiles fell asleep cuddling with his pack and had a sleep full of dreams of castrating Jackson, and god, Stiles so wishes he didn’t have to wake up.