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Maybe it was selfishness, maybe it was something else. There was no other explanation for why she was in the closet gathering spell ingredients.

She was lonely, that was the bottom line of it. She just wanted to be selfish this one time, damn the consequences of what might be.

Sam and Dean had done things like this before multiple times, they had always saved each other from death and beyond and dealt with the consequences later on regardless of what they were.

Why couldn't she do that too? Why couldn’t she be selfish for once and do something that she wanted, needed down to the marrow of her bones, to do?

Swallowing hard Mary lined the vials up in order in front of her and stared at them for a moment before she reached for the first one and opened it.

She wasn’t sure of what would happen once she did this, she wasn’t sure if she’d even be alive at the end of it but...she wanted to do this. It was her choice to do so, regardless of what happened.

She added the second and third ingredient and watched as the mixture glowed brightly before she picked a brush up and went to the wall. Dipping it into the bowl she slowly started to draw.

This might change everything, it might destroy her completely, her return was all because of God's sister giving Dean something he wanted, she didn't’ want to think about the logistics of that and where she stood on that.

She didn't care. She just...needed to do this.

Once she was done she stepped back and took an empty vial, adding the rest of the mixture into it and closing it, pocketing it. She wasn't sure if she was going to use it but she liked having the option to do so if necessary.

Taking a deep breath she drew the sigil onto the wall, concentrating as the spell intended for her to and with a flash of light and a burning sensation in her chest she was blinded for a moment as she felt a tug around her navel.

She barely managed to let out a small noise as she stumbled, falling out of a closet and tumbling onto the ground.

She took a moment to take a deep breath, enough to hear the tell tale sound of a gun being cocked and she knew that the gun was being pointed at her. Keeping her head down she lifted her hands up, palms forward as she stood up.

“Who the hell are you?” a familiar voice demanded, making her heart twist in her chest.

Slowly she brought her head up, her lips parting slightly as she stared at the man in front of her. He stared at her in horror and shock and just a little bit of hope in his eyes. “Mary?” was asked in a hushed whisper.

Mary managed a small smile at him, keeping her hands up. “Hello John.” she whispered.

Chapter Text

John put her through the tests, making the smallest cut possible on her finger with a silver knife, pouring holy water over the cut, and looking as if he was about to break down in front of her.

Silence fell between them once she passed all the tests, neither of them were able to look away from another. Johns hands were shaking and Mary hesitated but reached out to take it in hers, entwining their fingers together.

Slowly she felt his shaking stop and he gripped back at her almost desperately. He brought it up, pressing it to his lips, small breaths escaping him.

“John.” Mary whispered, coming closer to him. Her other hand came up to cup at his cheek and she felt herself crack slightly. “Its me.”

John looked up at her urgently, tightening his grip. “Listen, November 2nd, 1983, there's a fire, in Sammy's room. You need to-”

“John.” Mary interrupted gently, keeping her voice soft. “I’m not from the past.”

John stared at her for a moment. “What?”

“I’m not from the past, I’m from the future.” Mary told him. “It's...a long story.”

“Tell me.” John said, holding onto her hand desperately. “What happened? How did it happen?”

Mary breathed in deeply. “In the future, years into the future, the boys are still hunting,” she squeezed his hand comfortingly when he had a pained look on his face at that. “Its okay, they’re fine, I understand.” she swallowed and continued. “They...helped someone, someone very powerful and...the being brought me back as thanks.”

“And now you’re here.” John whispered, his voice hitching slightly. “You’re here, why?”

Mary hesitated but then spoke. “Because I missed you,” she said, her voice low. “I missed you so much that...I couldn't handle it.”

John nodded at that, immediately knowing that whatever future Sam and Dean were in, he was no longer a part of it.

“How...what are you going to do?” he asked her, his thumb rubbing against her hand.

“I want to stay.” Mary said, needing to clear her throat for a moment to get the words out. “I want to be here with you.”

John took a deep breath but his eyes widened when they heard footsteps outside, getting closer. Mary turned towards the door, heart in her throat. “Is that?”

She could hear a few young boys laughing as the door opened, the taller one holding onto the hand of the smaller one.

“I’m telling you Sammy, they’ll never know that it was-” Dean was saying over his shoulder as they came in. He turned around and stopped, freezing in place, his smile immediately falling off of his face, an incredibly young look appearing on his face.

Sam looked from behind Dean and stared at her in confusion, looking up at his brother and then at John.

Dean seemed to swallow hard, eyes tearing up as he looked at her, taking another step closer towards her.

“Momma?” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Chapter Text

It had not taken much longer before Dean broke and ran to her. She immediately reached out to him and wrapped her arms around her baby boy, holding onto him tightly as he sobbed.

Her breaths came out in gasps as she looked up and saw Sam there as well, staring at her with wide and longing eyes. Biting back a sob with everything she had she brought one arm towards him as well.

His face crumbled and he shot forward towards her as well, joining Dean and just holding onto her as they cried into her arms and chest.

Glancing up at John he looked away and she noticed him wiping at his eyes as well. A small broken sound escaped her and she just focused on hugging her boys as tightly and as closely as she could.

“It's me, I’m here.” she whispered, curling around them and wanting to encompass them completely. “I’m here boys, its okay, it's going to be okay. I’m here.

Moving back enough to look at them she reached up to wipe at their faces, tenderly wiping the tears away from them. Sams hands came up to grip at hers and he stared at her with wide eyes, small sobs still escaping him. Dean was doing the same, but he was trying to hold back his crying as best as he could, despite some whimpers.

She could see bits and pieces of the men they were going to become but she marveled at everything else. The boys that they were, the innocence in their eyes and the softness to them, a far cry from the guilt weighted and burden cladded men she knew in the future.

“Momma.” Sam whispered, clinging to her hand tightly. He swallowed hard and looked at his brother and father. “You’re...you’re here.”

“But...how?” Dean whispered, his breath hitching slightly as he shook hard, using his arm to wipe the rest off of his face. “Momma….it's been...you’ve been...”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Mary said tenderly wiping at their tears. John came to their side and reached out to place his hand on Sam and Dean's shoulders. The boys looked up at him for a moment before looking back at her.

Mary swallowed hard and straightened up, taking a deep breath to try to steady herself. She nodded, managing a small smile at the both of them and reaching out to hug them again. “I’m here.” she whispered. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Chapter Text

In all honesty she was expecting at any moment for Sam and Dean from the future to appear and take her back to the future in fear of how much she was changing their future.

She also had no idea what she was going to do if they did suddenly appear demanding her to go back. On one hand she knew that Sam and Dean had done amazing things, they’ve saved the world more than once, saved countless people and it wasn’t fair to them to suddenly take the people saving them away.

But looking at Sam and Dean, the young ones, on her lap, clinging to her in their sleep, she found that all her worries were slowly melting away. When she looked up and saw John standing a few feet, a tender vulnerable look on his face, the rest of her worries disappeared.

John came forward to gently take the boys off of her lap, unhooking their fingers from her clothes and setting them onto the bed. She followed with him and she placed the blanket on them.

John came to her side and reached out, his arm was slightly shaking she noted, as it reached out and wrapped around her waist, pulling her in close. She placed her head on his shoulder, her hand coming up to grip at his shirt.

“They’re so beautiful.” she whispered. “And they grow up amazing John, so amazing.”

She felt John nod and turn his head, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. She leaned more into him and turned around to look at him properly, staring up at him as her stomach turned slightly.

He tugged her out of the bedroom and she easily followed, glancing once more at the boys. They left the room and she softly closed the door behind them before she turned to John once more.

Johns hands came up to cup her cheeks, his thumbs brushing against her gently as he stared at her. “You’re just as beautiful as I remember.” he whispered.

Mary smiled softly at him, bringing her hands up to grip at his. “You’re still my fella.” she whispered to him.

Johns breaths were coming out in small almost pants, his eyes glassy slightly as he held her.

“You’re shaking.” she whispered.

"I just can't believe that you're here." he whispered. "That you're alive and you're here with me, with the boys. That..." he bent towards her more, pressing their foreheads together. "You're alive." he said, his voice cracking at the last word.

"I'm here, I'm alive." Mary whispered to him, she took one of his hands and brought it down to her chest, over her heart. "I'm okay John."

John pressed his hand a bit more against her chest, feeling her heart beating in her chest. she looked up at him and his eyes darkened slightly.

They both moved together, meeting in the middle as they kissed desperately, clinging to one another. Wordlessly she lightly pressed him towards the couch, feeling the back of his legs hit it before he sat down, the both of them moving, not breaking the kiss.

Mary climbed into his lap, taking a moment to quickly take a deep breath before pressing into the kiss again, her hands moving to tug his jacket off and pull the shirt off.

John did the same to her clothes, his hands moving desperately against her as he tried to get her as close as they could be.

John slid his hands over her skin, dipping under her shirt and she couldn't hold back a moan at the feeling, arching into his touch as she lifted enough to pull her jeans off as well, doing the same to John.

John broke away from the kiss to stare at her for a moment, amazement and love in his eyes. Mary smiled at him, hands on his bare chest, sliding them over his skin.

"John." she whispered, hands going to his shoulders.

"Mary." he whispered to her, moving in to kiss her once more as he reached down between them towards their underwear.

Chapter Text

Dean woke up slowly, not wanting to let go of the dream he had had. It was about mom, she had come back to life and she said she was going to stay with them forever.

Dean sighed softly and automatically curled more towards the warmth that was his brothers figure on the bed, reaching out to grip at his sleeve.

It was all he had ever wanted, his family back together. To have mom back and make everything alright, make all the bad things gone.

He’d never admit it to dad or to Sammy but he wanted a home again. He loved the impala but he also remembered his room, remembered having toys and having his bed, mom or dad waking him up and…

Dean felt his breath hitch and he curled up more, moving so that he could curl around Sammy. His brother was still asleep but turned to him as well, reaching out to cling to him.

Sammy never had that, he was a baby when everything happened and all he had ever known was the back of the impala and the changing motel rooms. It bothered him, Dean knew that, but he also didn’t have anything to compare it to other than a small room that they stayed in when they were at Bobbys.

And Dean knew that their dad wanted to give them that again, sometimes Dean heard him talking to Bobby about it but he knew that he couldn’t and so he kept quiet, he didn’t complain, tried to make it something interesting and something fun at each and every hotel room for Sammy.

Sighing Dean curled closer to his brother, not wanting to get up and face everything else and losing the rest of the pleasant dream.

Sammy shifted slightly and gave a small noise, bringing his head up to look up at Dean with sleepy eyes. “Morning.” he mumbled. “Time is it?”

Dean glanced over his shoulder at the clock, winching slightly. “It's a bit after eight.” he said softly. “We’re late for school.”

Sam gave a small whine at that, slowly sitting up. “Are we going?”

Dean gave a shrug. “Don't know, dad said we were done here yesterday so we might be leaving.”

Sam sighed and laid back down on the bed, grumbling to himself for a moment before falling silent, staring at the ceiling. “I had a really nice dream.” he whispered.

Dean laid down next to him and stared up as well. “Me too.” he said quietly, reaching down to take Sam's hand in his. “What was yours?”

“Mom.” Sam whispered. “It was mom and...she was here.” Dean froze at that, slowly sitting up to look at his brother. “What?”

“I had the same dream.” Dean whispered. “That mom was here.”

The two stared at one another and as if waiting for that they could hear some shuffling outside the bedroom, behind the door, muffled voices staying low and one was distinctively female.

Together they scrambled out of the bed, shoving sheets and pillows away as they tried to get to the door. Dean reached it first and opened the door for them, stumbling into the other room.

And there she was, mom, turning around to look at them. She was just like Dean remembered and Dean felt a rush of relief and disbelief and pure happiness go through him.

“You’re still here.” Dean whispered.

Mary smiled at them and crossed the rest of the distance, kneeling down to hug the both of them. Dean clung to her and he felt Sam do the same.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Mary told them.

Chapter Text

They packed everything they had and got into the impala to get a quick breakfast at a diner. For the first time Sam didn’t complain about leaving school too soon, he moved just as quickly as Dean did to get everything in order.

John took their bags to the impala and Mary took Dean and Sam's hands in hers as they left, her thumb rubbing over their hands. Dean marveled at the feeling of her hand in his, her skin was still as soft and her touch was as gentle as he remembered.

He glanced at Sam who was watching their hands with wide eyes, holding onto her tightly. He met Deans gaze and for a moment it looked like he was going to cry.

Mary helped them to get into the backseat of the impala before she got into the passenger's seat. Immediately Dean felt the loss her hand in his and reached for Sams instead. He could see their parents holding hands instead as John got them onto the road and towards a diner to get breakfast.

“We’re going to have to go shopping for a bit to get you more things.” John murmured to her, entwining their fingers together. Mary marveled for a moment at how well their hands still fit together.

“I don't need that much, just a few essentials.” Mary said quietly, moving their fingers slightly. “We’re going to Bobby's after this?”

John nodded, it was hard to keep his attention on the road with Mary beside him. “We need to make you a legal living person again, he can help us deal with it.”

Mary nodded as well, turning so that she could stare at him comfortably and then glance to the back of the seats to see the boys peeking up at her. She smiled at them and winked.

They also needed to figure out what to do after this. She was back so maybe the need for revenge and vengeance would be stopped for the time being but at the same time, she knew exactly what Azazel had done to Sam and what he wanted to do.

Once they reached Bobby and she proved to the older hunter who she was, she is going to sit the two of them down and tell them everything.

They needed to protect Sam from the demon and they had years worth of time for now but they needed to start soon.

But for now, for this moment, she was content with just enjoying being out with her family and having breakfast.

Sam grinned at her and ducked his head more into Dean, tightening his grip on his brothers hand. Dean did the same, not able to look away from looking at his parents being together again in wonder.

John brought them into the diners parking lot and nodded, squeezing her hand once more before regretfully letting go and getting out of the impala.

“Lets eat.” Mary told them as she got out and the kids quickly scrambled out. They immediately went to the her sides once more, taking her hands and holding onto her as they walked in.

Chapter Text

The boys shared a plate of waffles together, Sam got most of the fruit on top and Dean focused more on the waffles. When she prodded the both of them at that Dean immediately started on the fruits as well and Sam took a giant bite of the waffles.

Mary smiled and laughed softly at them, turning to look at John, the whole thing healing something inside of her that she hadn't realized was hurting. The both of them were holding hands under the table as they ate, legs entwined as well.

She couldn't help but think about the future, about what would change and how things would be for the better for all of them. Her boys got both parents and more of a sense of stability. She wanted them to stay in one place again, she had enough information from the future that they could do that and not have to roam the country in search for crumbs.

The boys would be able to go to school full time, have a home to come to that wasn't just the impala. They might have to stay near Bobby which meant Sioux Falls, and she also knew that later on it would mean Jody Mills too. They would still be able to hunt but now they would be able to leave the boys with Bobby and not have to uproot them from everything.

She and John would have each other as well. Neither of them would be alone anymore, they’d both have their partner in every single way. Already Mary could feel as if she was whole again and she squeezed John's hand in hers and he did the same.

Dean and Sam could have semi normal lives now. They might not even have to hunt but they’ll be taught about everything so they would know. Sam could go to Stanford full time and meet that woman Jessica he had told her about. Dean could do the same if he wanted to. Or he could do something else and so could Sam. there were so many more doors open for the both of them and the thought made her smile just all the more wider.

They were almost done with their breakfast and they would be on route to Bobby's place now, it would take a few hours and a lot of proving who she was to the other hunter but she was ready.

“I’ll be right back.” she told them as she slid out of the booth and went to the bathroom. It was a unisex one she noted as she went to the sink to wash her hands. Cupping her hand under the water she washed her face, unable to keep the smile off of her face.

The door opened behind her as well and she didn't pay it any mind, grabbing a paper towel to wipe her hands and face off.

However when the man grabbed her wrist she moved quickly, twisting her wrist free and moving to grab the man's arm instead, intent on breaking it or at the very least twist it enough. She froze when she saw how it was.

“Sam.” she breathed out, feeling her heart start to beat faster in her chest as she stared at the older man.

“Mom.” Sam said shortly. “We need to talk.”

Chapter Text

Mary swallowed hard as she looked at the older version of her son. She stepped a bit away from him, eyes flickering to the door behind him. Without looking away Sam reached back and locked the door.

“You’re coming back to the future.” Sam said lowly. “You're coming back right now, you have no idea what you're doing or what you're changing.”

Mary felt herself bristle at the tone in his voice and straightened up. “Don't talk to me like that.” she warned him. “And I know exactly what I’m doing here.”

“Then that's even worse.” Sam said, his hands shaking slightly. “We wake up and your gone and things are changing, our future is changing. You can't do this.”

“I can and I will.” Mary said simply. “You’re not changing my mind Sam and I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“If you change the future you change everything that we did.” Sam told her, eyes narrowing. “You might not even be brought back and as a result, you erase yourself.”

“Not gone yet, so I’m seeing this as a good sign.” Mary said, slowly starting to lose her temper. “You don't get it Sam, I’m not leaving.”

“I’m not letting you change everything.” Sam said. “You don't-”

“No, you don't understand.” Mary snapped at him. “Neither you or your brother understands. Why are the two of you the only ones that get to be selfish? The only ones that break the rules and benefit from it? I died Sam, I died and was brought back to life into a time that I can't understand and I feel like my two sons are two strangers.” she took a deep breath. “I love you and I love Dean so much but I don't feel like your mother, I feel like your friend and we can’t change that.”

“Going back and running away like this isn't the answer.” Sam exclaimed. “You don't feel like our mom? Then stay and try! Don't try to find something that you can't have.”

“And why cant I have it?” Mary demanded. “Why not? This way everything could be better, it could turn out a lot better than what you two have.”

Before Sam could say anything the door knob behind him jiggled and the door was shook.

“Mom?” came Dean's voice, knocking on the door and shaking it again. “Are you okay?”

“I’m alright, I’ll be out in a minute.” Mary called out to him, glancing at Sam. “Everything's okay.”

“Alright.” Dean answered, he didn't sound like he believed her but she could hear him walking away.

Mary took a deep breath and turned to face her older son again. “Sam, I’m not leaving.” she told him. “And I’m not letting you take me back.”

Whatever Sam was about to say was cut off when the door suddenly swung open, she could see John pocketing his lock pick and he came into the bathroom, staring at the both of them.

“Who are you?” John demanded, fingers twitching slightly. She could feel Sam flinch slightly at the sight of him but otherwise he didn't let it affect him.

“That's not important.” Sam told him. “I’m here for Mary.”

Johns eyes narrowed and that was the only hint she got before he drew his gun, bringing it up and aiming it right at him. Sam started slightly but otherwise didn't move, tensing slightly. “She's not going anywhere.”

Mary's eyes widened and she quickly moved in front of Sam, arms spread wide to try to protect him. “Don't!”

“Mary, what are you doing?” John asked, staring at her in surprise. “What's going on?”

Mary swallowed hard, keeping herself in between Sam and John. “He's Sam.” she quickly said. “He's Sam from the future. He wants me to go back.”

Chapter Text

“Her being here is already changing too many things in the future.” Sam said shortly, fidgeting in a way she had never seen him before. “She has to go back and she has to go back now.”

John looked at her, a range of emotions running over his face as he put the gun back into the back of his jeans. He took a deep breath and looked around them.

“We can’t talk about this here.” he said. “Lets get somewhere a bit more private.”

“I don't have time, for all I know I’m about to disappear.” Sam told him. “Her coming back and being here is changing things and she needs to go back before it changes too many things.”

Mary wrapped her arms around herself. “I don't want to go back.” she said simply. “Sam listen. I know everything that happens in the future, I can have things change for the better. We can stop so many things before they happen.”

“I don't want anything to change.” Sam told her bluntly. “I’m happy and so is Dean. We’re at peace with things that have happened and if you stay here, all the good we’ve done goes away too.”

“But a lot of bad goes away too.” Mary said. “I’ve heard the two of you talk, more than once you said that you would like to go back in time and fix the things that you’re not satisfied with, now I can do that.”

“We don't care.” Sam told her, reaching for her again. John stepped between the both of them, unable to tear his eyes away from Sam.

“She doesn't want to go ...Sam.” John said, looking their son over. Mary knew how he was feeling, indignant about the fact that he was trying to take her away but at the same time...this was Sam. This was their Sammy, all grown up and a man.

Mary swallowed and opened the bathroom door to see Dean and Sammy standing there too, they looked up her, a bit worried but they managed to smile at her, questions in their eyes.

Mary smiled back at them and then glanced at the Sam that was looking at her.

“I’m not going.” Mary told him simply. “So either you accept that or we’re going to have to fight, right here, right now.”

Sam sighed and shook his head, rubbing at his eyes for a moment before he looked up at the door. The door opened and familiar footsteps came in.

Mary didn't even have to look behind them to see who it was. John did look behind them and she looked at him, seeing the confusion on his face.

“Hello Dean.” Mary said, hearing Johns sharp intake of breath.

“Mom.” Dean greeted, lowly and just as shortly.