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Please Don't Go Without Me

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So, this is it. This is goodbye. After all those years, all those memories.

 

Prompto can’t stop thinking, he can’t focus,

he’s having the worst panic attack and he doesn’t know how to process anything that is happening right now.

 

Altough he knew for a long while that this day would come,

and although his friends had somewhat tried to ‘prepare’ him for it as best as they could,

Prompto could never come to terms with it.

 

Despite all these years that had passed while Noctis was in the Crystal, Prompto could never accept it. 

He was having the hardest time out of all of Noct’s friends that were left behind, but he didn’t want to worry them.

Prompto doesn't want to sound selfish, he knows the others were having a really hard time too.

But he's pretty damn sure that nothing, nothing could compare to what he went through.

 

In order not to worry anyone, he put on his usual smile and his happy-go-lucky personality, and just pretended that he was okay.

 

He wasn’t.

 

He was shattered.

In those years, he had just silently suffered while no one was watching.

After a while, Prompto actually became fairly good at acting,

at playing this fake role of someone who basically had their whole heart ripped out but walked around like it ain't no big deal.

 

After Ignis had told them what he knew about Noctis’ sacrifice to restore the light to the world,

Prompto had just become completely, utterly, absolutely numb.

 

He can’t even remember how often he had spent sleepless nights just looking at photos of him and Noctis,

going from fits of laughter to straight off bawling his eyes out for hours until his body hurt so much he couldn’t cry anymore. 

He can’t remember how often he had to get up and drag himself to the bathroom because he felt so sick from anxiety, he would throw up despite not even eating anything.

It was as if his body wanted to throw up his heart and all functioning senses so he wouldn't need to feel anything anymore.

He felt so alone and so empty

 

Prompto had been in terrible condition during the first year. He had almost gone anorexic because he could barely eat anything,

let alone keep anything down.

If it wasn’t for Ignis force feeding him and helping him to regain normal eating habits, Prompto isn’t sure if he’d still be alive now. 

 

He was angry, angry at the damn Astrals, even angry at his friends and at himself, even though he knew it was none of their faults.

 

Those 10 years felt like a long never-ending nightmare to Prompto.

 

His best friend was gone, just taken from him from one day to the other, without a single word.

Prompto wishes he could remember the last time he really saw Noctis and talked to him.

 

But his mind is just blank.

 

All he remembers is suddenly standing in this scary room with this big, glowing thing, the so called Crystal.

No Noctis in sight.

 

He remembers looking at Ignis, who looked like he knew something.

He remembers screaming, asking where the hell his best friend had gone, why he wasn’t there.

 

He was supposed to fucking be there.

 

There was still so much Prompto had wished to tell Noctis.

So much.

 

All his buried feelings, everything.

 

After everything that had happened before Noctis was taken by the crystal, Prompto had gathered his courage and planned to confess to Noctis after the events had calmed down.

 

But it never happened.

 

It never fucking happened because a damn holy Crystal took his best friend and never returned him - not until a few days before he was destined to fucking die and be gone forever.

 

Maybe, just maybe this was what Prompto deserved, he often thought to himself. 

Hell, he’s still thinking it.

 

Noctis is Prompto’s everything ever since they were kids.

He had always been a light in Prompto’s life, saved him out of his darkness countless times and made him feel like he was worth something.

Who cares about the light of the world when Prompto's light had been taken from him and must be sacrificed in order to restore the light?

He could very well live without any damn sunlight for the rest of his life if it meant being able to have Noctis by his side.

 

When Prompto had realized that his feelings might go beyond friendship, he had tried not to fall in love with Noctis,

he had tried really, really hard, because he knew he didn’t have a place in Noctis’ life - not like that, anyway. 

 

But after everything that had happened in Altissia, after Luna had passed away, there was a glimmer of Hope.

It was selfish, really, but Prompto couldn’t hold it back. It wasn’t in his power to control his feelings at that point. 

 

Sometimes he thought that there was something between them, something in the way Noctis looked at him,

but he just blamed it on his wishful thinking, because there was no way.

 

After all of that, Prompto was then left with 10 long years of suffering and regrets.

 

Why didn’t he just tell him sooner?

Maybe there would have been a chance of something. Anything.

And even if he was rejected, it would have been so liberating to just have these feelings off his chest.

He wouldn't have these regrets now, these biting regrets that haunt him every single second of being awake.

 

Instead, Prompto was punished for whatever goddamn reason and had to wonder for 10 years why all of this had happened the way it did.

 

Why he had to have the most important person in his miserable life taken from him.

 

So many why’s, and not one. single. answer.

 


 

The day Noctis finally came back, the day Prompto had been waiting for, was nothing how he had pictured it.

 

It was awkward. Stiff, even.

 

It was like they had become strangers but without really being strangers.

It was one of those sensations people can’t explain.

 

And Prompto was so, so, so stupid. 

He didn’t know what to say, he wanted to cry after seeing Noctis again, he wanted to hug him, to hold him,

but nothing came out of his mouth and his body couldn’t move.

Not even a single teardrop.

No wonder, actually - he had probably already cried all his tears in the last 10 years.

 

All he could say after seeing Noctis was “It’s really you!”, like the idiot he is.

 

But he remembers one thing clearly.

The moment Noctis’ eyes locked with his own, and Noctis smiled slightly at him, and he could look into those familiar,

kind blue eyes again, all of his feelings came crashing down on him. 

 

He really tried hard to just bury those feelings during those 10 years.

Well, another fucked up attempt.

 


 

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The evening before they set out for their final journey, the four friends had talked and told Noctis what he had missed during the years he was gone.

 

Noctis felt guilty for leaving them alone, because for him, it was as if he had gone for one night only,

and he could only imagine what his friends had to go through.

 

Out of all people, to hear Noctis say that he felt guilty, it was like a knife in Prompto’s heart.

Noctis really was the most innocent in all of this mess.

He shouldn’t have to sacrifice himself to clean up the chaos of the Astrals and of his Ancestors.

 

Noctis was the most kindhearted and purest person to exist in that fucked up world.

Noctis did nothing wrong.

Nothing.

Yet he was the one who had to suffer so much.

 

Prompto felt angrier than ever that evening.

 

Later that night, Prompto was sitting outside of the tent at a probably very ungodly hour, because his friends had already gone to sleep.

He was looking up at the sky, on that night that was so heavy with sadness,

because the sky always gave him some sort of calming feeling during Noctis’ absence.

 

He used to imagine that Noctis was the moon, watching over him.

 

On this night, while watching the moon, he spotted a shooting star. 

And he closed his eyes,

and wished for nothing more than to be able to take Noctis’ place.

 

Trying to sleep that night though, was impossible.

When Prompto sneaked into the tent, everyone was already asleep.

Noctis was lying next to Prompto, like they always used to sleep when they were camping back in the days.

Instead of sleeping, Prompto just stared at him, thinking that it will be the last time he can look at his face.

He tried so hard to engrave every little detail of Noctis' face into his memory, and, most of all, he wished so badly that he could just wrap his arms around him and hold him close.

 

But he didn’t.

 


 

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Now, Prompto is standing in front of the Citadel, where it all began.

And reality is slapping him in the face, harder than ever.

 

This feels like a damn nightmare all over again, and Prompto can barely control the shaking of his body.

 

Noctis turns around and walks up the stairs to the Citadel.

 

No... no... this is the image Prompto had imagined in his head so, so often, and now it’s here, and it’s happening, in front of his eyes.

 

No turning back now..” Prompto manages to say, stuttering.

In fact, he's surprised that anything even managed to leave his mouth and be somewhat understandable. 

 

At these words, Noctis faces his friends once more.

Noctis was so determined to not look back anymore, as it’s already hard enough,

but hearing Prompto’s broken voice then and there was more than he could take.

 

Prompto has his head lowered, staring at the rain droplets hitting the ground,

to keep his mind off of this horrible situation.

The sight is heartbreaking in every possible way.

And Noctis is trying so hard not to break down crying to make it easier for his friends.

So hard.

 

Prompto... Gladio, Ignis. I leave it to you. Walk tall.. my friends.” 

 

Prompto raises his head at Noctis’ voice, barely able to hold back the tears at this point.

Noctis gives him one more look before turning around again.

This time, it’s a look full of pain, full of suffering and sadness.

A look he’s never seen before.

A look he wishes he would never have to see.

It’s a real goodbye.

 

Prompto starts shaking uncontrollably, watching Noctis turn around, go up the stairs and disappear into the Citadel.

 

At least a few minutes must have passed where Prompto just stood there, frozen.

He doesn’t even notice Ignis and Gladio calling out his name, because behind them,

a group of powerful Daemons has spawned.

 

Prompto doesn’t realize that his body is moving, because it’s moving on its own. 

 

Moving towards the entry of the Citadel.

 

Ignis and Gladio are screaming at this point, yelling, even.

But to Prompto, it all sounds like muffled sounds in the far distance.

 

No... no! Prompto! NO! Come back! PROMPTO!

 

But they have no chance to hold him back, because the Daemons are attacking furiously.

There is nothing they can do.

 

It’s too late.

 

Prompto is already entering the Citadel, tears streaming down his face.

He doesn’t even know what he’s doing - but he can’t stop himself.

 

He can’t accept this.

 

This is not how this fucking ends

It simply isn’t.

 

Minutes seem like hours, but Prompto finally reaches the throne room.

Noctis must have heard him coming, because Prompto wasn’t exactly trying to hide his presence or trying to not make any noise.

 

The moment Prompto pushes the door to enter, Noctis is standing in the middle of the big room, facing the throne.

He looks like a fallen angel, Prompto thinks for a moment, before snapping back into reality because Noctis.. has turned around and is saying something?

 

Shit.. he’s probably really mad, right?

 

Prom... Prom you.. you can’t.. be here.

His voice is shaking, and it breaks at the last sentence.

 

Prom’... Noctis called Prompto by his nickname, the one nickname Prompto didn’t want to hear anymore after Noctis disappeared.

The one name only Noctis can call him.

The one name that feels so damn right when Noctis says it.

 

It seems Noctis can’t take it anymore, after all, because he’s the one to approach Prompto, who is still standing in front of the door like a damn fool.

Before Prompto can even think of a stupid excuse of why he is here, he’s pulled in a tight embrace.

 

Noctis doesn’t say anything.

So Prompto doesn’t either.

 

He just hugs Prompto for long minutes, crying on his shoulder.

Prompto sheds tears as well, finally, because he really thought he had lost the ability to properly cry.

 

It seems that seeing Prompto chase after Noctis was all it took for Noctis to break down,

to lose control over the wall he had carefully tried to hold upright in front of his friends. 

 

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Please.. please don’t go

 

Prompto knows it’s stupid. It’s probably the most stupid thing he could say in this moment, because he knows Noctis doesn’t have a fucking choice.

 

It’s silent after that.

No surprise, really. 

Prompto saw that coming.

Because Noctis is still crying on Prompto’s shoulder, and what could he possible even reply to something so utterly stupid.

 

I don’t want to go

 

It’s nothing more than a silent sob coming from next to Prompto’s ear, but Noctis had spoken.

 

At these words, Prompto’s heart outright shatters.

He thought it couldn’t break any more, but just now, Noctis had proven him wrong, because this pain was unbearable.

 

Prompto hugs Noctis a little tighter, before gently pushing him away so he can look at him.

 

Noct. Noct, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to make this harder for you. My legs moved on their own, I... I couldn’t.. I can’t handle it.. I..

 

Now Prompto is the one to break down crying, hard. He covers his face with his hands, too ashamed to look Noctis in the eyes, because fuck,

was he really the one crying like a baby right now? It should be Noctis uncontrollably crying, not Prompto.

 

Noctis puts his hands on Prompto's wrists, a gentle move to make him stop crying.

At the touch, Prompto slightly moves his hands down to look up at Noctis, and fuck,

this was what took every bit of control Noctis had tried to keep this whole time.

 

Next thing Prompto knows is that Noctis put his hands over Prompto's and has Prompto’s face cupped in his hands.

 

Prom...” Noctis says, and there’s this sudden tenderness in his eyes, mixed with the sadness. 

 

Then, it all seems like time has stopped.

Because Noctis closes the distance between them.

 

And he kisses Prompto.

 

Prompto is not sure what’s happening, so for the first few seconds, his eyes just remain wide open, tears still streaming down.

Eventually, he closes his eyes and lets himself fall into the embrace, the warm and soft feeling of Noctis' lips against his own.

 

It’s so innocent.

So tender.

So painful, too.

 

After a few Minutes of slow kissing, hearts racing and tender innocent touches, Noctis is the one who pulls back.

Prompto isn’t crying anymore, but his heart is still in unbearable pain.

For those few Minutes, it really seemed like everything in the world was okay, and Prompto is sure that both of them wish

it would never stop.

 

Then, Noctis gives him a look.

Prompto nods, then steps back.

 

They don’t need any words right now to know what’s being said.

 

This look isn't like any look Noctis has ever given before.

It’s to let Prompto know that this is the real goodbye.

That there’s really no turning back now.

And that the words and feelings they hold, are better left unsaid, to prevent further pain and heartache.

 

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Everything was said with that one kiss.

Because it was the most perfect kiss, so gentle, so full of genuine love.

 

He didn’t need to hear Noctis say “I love you” because Noctis made him feel it.

He gave him the answer he was looking for with that kiss. Prompto didn’t need to know any more.

 

You better... go now.” Noctis says it in the kindest, most caring tone, but still with a hint of command.

 

It’s probably for the best.

So Prompto doesn’t fight back, he knows it’s already hard enough for Noctis, and he made it harder already by following him here.

 

So Prompto exchanges one more look with Noctis, and then steps out of the throne room.

 

For one second, Prompto thought he had it all together.

For one. damn. second

 

But the moment Prompto is outside of the room, he sinks down against the wall and just loses it all.

He cries, he cries so hard he doesn’t know if his lungs are still intact.

 

Everything hurts so incredibly much.

 

 


 

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“Kings of Lucis. Come to me!”

 

Prompto is broken out of his crying when he hears Noctis’ voice.

 

It was an angry, determined command.

Almost scary.

 

Not a second after Noctis had said that sentence, a blue light is flashing through the door, which is still halfway open,

because Prompto didn’t even bother to close it when he had left the room. 

 

Curiosity, of course, gets the best of him.

What else does he have left to lose?

He has lost his whole world already.

 

Prompto peaks inside.

 

Noctis is sitting on the throne.

His sword is in front of him, blade down, and he’s holding the handle.

 

This sight alone makes Prompto tear up again, and a tear rolls down his cheek.

King Noctis, sitting on his rightful throne.

Where he should have been, from the very beginning, without so much pain and suffering.

Without all the loss and sacrifice.

 

Around Noctis, there’s a circle of transparent figures engulfed in the same blue light that had shaken Prompto out of his crying just seconds before.

 

The Kings of Lucis.

 

Are they responsible for this?

A sudden anger awakes once again inside of Prompto.

 

However, Prompto stays quiet, and simply watches.

 

Noctis doesn’t notice him.

Noctis is saying something, but Prompto is too far away to hear it, he can only see Noctis' lips moving.

 

Suddenly, one of the transparent figures holds out their sword, and -

Prompto lets out a silent scream.

The scream dies somewhere in his throat before it can even be heard.

 

The figure dashes towards Noctis and puts their sword right through his body.

 

Prompto didn’t realize that he covered his eyes, and when he looks again, he's relieved to see that Noctis is still moving.

It seems the sword just disappeared into thin air, and didn’t actually slice through Noctis.

 

Another figure does the same, and another, and another.

 

Quickly, though, Prompto realizes that even if the swords don’t seem to leave any marks behind,

and don't really 'stab' Noctis, Noctis is still growing weaker.

He seems to be in pain.

 

No.

No.

Stop.

Stop this.

It’s all Prompto can think.

 

Again, his body moves before he can do anything against it.

He’s running so fast, faster than ever before, because there’s only a few of those figures left, and Noctis can barely sit straight anymore.

 

And Prompto doesn’t care about right or wrong right now.

All he cares about is to stand by Noctis' side and to hold him and protect him from these figures who hurt him so much.

 

He runs past the few figures that are left, stumbles up the stairs, probably bruising his knees and elbows, and finally, finally, he reaches Noctis.

 

He arrives at just the right moment, because Noctis’ body collapses and Prompto is just quick enough to catch him so he doesn’t fall.

 

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Noctis is barely conscious at this moment.

However, he still manages to look up at Prompto, pain and tears in his eyes.

 

Prom.. you have to.. go.. and live..

 

And then, a second later, Noctis is unconscious.

He’s still breathing, but he’s in very bad shape, that much Prompto can tell.

 

Prompto wants to scream.

He wants to rip Noctis’ sword out of the ground and slice those figure’s throats.

 

“If you take his life, you’ll have to take mine too.”

Prompto screams.

 

He puts himself in front of Noctis, protecting him, holding him tight.

 

He never screamed so loud in his life.

In his anger and panic, he didn’t realize that in fact, there was only one more figure left.

 

Prompto is staring at the figure, who, like all the others, is now pointing their sword at them.

 

Prompto looks at Noctis. 

“You don’t have to do this alone, Noct.

I’m right here, by your side. Forever and always.”

Prompto puts his free hand on Noctis' cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb.

 

He doesn’t want Noctis to die alone.

He doesn’t want to live in a world without Noctis.

There is no way Prompto could ever, ever again bear to live in a world without Noctis in it.

 

This moment of tenderness however, doesn't last long.

Out of the corner of his eye, Prompto can see the figure dashing towards them.

 

This time, the sword doesn’t vanish.

 

It stays materialized.

 

It pierces right through them.

It hits with such a force that it pierces through both Prompto and Noctis.

Prompto takes the hit first, as he is leaned in front of Noctis, holding him close.

Noctis' body follows.

 

There’s a sharp jolt of pain, Prompto feels a heat building around his chest area, then his vision goes blurry.

The last thing he sees is Noctis’s face.

It’s lifeless, but looking peaceful, and if it’s the last thing Prompto can see, he is damn sure that it’s exactly what he would have wished to see.

It all happens so fast, and there is suddenly no pain at all anymore.

 

 

Prompto's eyes close, and his head falls on Noctis' shoulder.

 

 

Then, there is nothingness.

Darkness.

 

 

The last thing that could be heard in the throne room was a silent "I love you".