Lance wasn't sure what he'd said, but Keith was kissing him.
They'd been roommates for months now, ever since Lance had started at the MFE (Modern Foundation of Entertainment) College. While his best friends, Hunk and Pidge, went to some science and engineering school, Lance had followed his dream to become an actor. With his multiple theatre productions portraying the leads in plays and musicals alike, it was easy enough to get in, though he'd had to move into the dorms.
He had been both nervous and excited to meet his roommate, but Lance had had to settle in while he was out. When Keith turned up a couple of hours after Lance's family had left, Lance had found himself flustered and messed up his introduction. But who could blame him when Keith had long, messy, dark hair and eyes so deep that Lance could get lost in them far too often. Not to mention that Keith worked out and had muscles for days, with the strength to lift at least one end of their wonky couch. His ass was to die for and he wore blacks and reds which caught the eye whenever he entered a building. Those tight jeans...
Immediately attracted to him, Lance had used all of his acting skills to affect indifference so that he didn't make a fool of himself, though it had come across as argumentative instead. Keith was older, after all, and more mature and knowledgeable - Lance didn’t want to look like an infatuated schoolgirl. Unfortunately, his efforts only served to make them avoid each other, both awkward and unsure. Eventually, Lance had addressed it and they had bonded over movies and popcorn.
That had only made his attraction worse. Lance wanted Keith so badly that he couldn't tell whether he was genuinely interested in Keith or if it was just the allure of the mysterious air he had. Slowly, they got to know each other better. More and more, Lance had to stop himself from surging forward and kissing Keith when they sat on their couch, relaxing or helping each other study. Today had been one such day, with Keith in the middle of editing some of his pictures for some sort of photography project. He wasn't aiming to be a photographer, but Lance had still complimented it, comparing it to his beautiful art pieces.
Something about the way he said it had stunned Keith. Then the older student had surged forward, grabbed Lance's face, and pulled him into a deep searing kiss. Lance couldn't believe it, his eyes widening. But he recovered enough to kiss back, allowing their tongues to twine together. Keith pulled him closer at that until Lance was falling forward, caught by Keith's strong arms. They barely separated as Lance regained his balance and shifted forwards so that he was straddling Keith's lap. Then they were back to kissing till they ran out of breath.
“God,” said Lance, breathless. “Took you long enough, Kogane.”
Keith’s brow furrowed. “I… This…”
But, now that he had what he wanted in his grasp, Lance wasn’t willing to wait. He ducked down and kissed the words away from him. Thankfully, Keith didn’t bother trying to resist. Their lips trapped the heat between them, their tongues tangling and pushing to and fro. Lance didn’t put up too much of a fight before he yielded to Keith, letting the older boy take over. Arms slipped around Lance’s waist and he found himself being dragged closer. He wrapped his own arms around Keith’s shoulders and hugged him tight, drawing them even closer.
Again, they broke away for breath. Lance panted against Keith’s lips, trying think of something to say. Yet, all he could think of was his roommate’s soft, delicious lips and the taste of his tongue - Pepsi, from the glass on the coffee table. Keith, however, was clearly able to think of other things since he began to press kisses over Lance’s face. His nose, the corner of his mouth, his temple, his jaw. There, he nipped at Lance’s skin, making him gasp at the sharp pain that shot all the way through his body and down to his crotch. He shifted, his pants getting tight.
Keith ducked lower, kissing at Lance’s neck. His teeth grazed at a spot under Lance’s jaw and Lance couldn’t suppress a shudder. Willingly, he let his head fall back, exposing more skin for Keith to suck on. And Keith accepted the offering, kissing and licking and biting and sucking until, finally, he moved to a free spot. Lance had no doubts that he would have a series of marks there the next day. He was excited to show them off to everyone tomorrow.
“Fuck, Keith,” Lance breathed, his lashes fluttering.
“Mm,” was Keith’s response, licking a strip up Lance’s neck to his jaw before he guided Lance down into another heated kiss.
Between kisses, Lance managed to speak. “We should…” Another kiss. “We should take this to a bed.”
Pulling away, Keith looked up at Lance with hooded eyes that were so dark that Lance could only stare at them in awe, lips parted. “Hm?” Keith’s hands moved, sliding up Lance’s sides. His t-shirt bunched up in Keith’s wake, his trailing fingers brushing along Lance’s bare skin. It made Lance shiver, shifting forward: his cock was already hard and he wanted so much more than Keith was giving him.
“Bed,” Lance insisted, reaching up to tug at Keith’s hair where it was tied into a ponytail.
Blinking, Keith’s eyes cleared, though his chest still heaved as he caught his breath. Lance wanted to run his hands down those muscles, so carefully cultivated from days at the gym. But that would involve letting go of Keith’s hair and he enjoyed the feel of it between his fingers. So, instead, he pecked kisses over Keith’s face, waiting for Keith to say or do something, trying to telepathically tell Keith to slide his hands down to his ass, eager for him to squeeze .
Eyes flickering over Lance’s face, Keith’s brow furrowed. “Is…? Should…?”
Lance rolled his eyes. “ Yes . Come on.”
“I- Lance, I don’t-”
With a sharp tug to Keith’s hair that made him wince, Lance grabbed his shoulders and squeezed them. “Come on , Keith. I know you can pick me up.” He grinned. “Carry me.”
“You… want this?”
Rolling his eyes again, Lance pressed his hips to Keith, rubbing his cock against him. He could feel how hard Keith was, too, and his grin widened. “We both do,” he sang.
For a moment, Lance thought that Keith was going to deny it, refuse him. Then his hands slid down until he was cupping Lance’s ass. Lance beamed at him, ecstatic and excited, his heart pounding. “Your bed or mine?” Keith asked.
“Mine. Mine’s bigger. More room.”
“Okay.” With that, Keith tightened his grip on Lance, squeezing. Lance’s breath left him as he attempted not to moan. Then Keith stood and Lance wrapped his legs around his waist, his heart squeezing in his chest. Confident, Keith strode around the couch, stepping over an abandoned textbook.
But Lance didn’t want to make this easy on Keith. Keeping one arm around Keith’s shoulders, Lance used his other hand to press against Keith’s jaw and draw it upwards. He leaned down and met him halfway, kissing him firmly, trying to entice Keith to stick his tongue in his mouth. Keith easily did as Lance wanted, their tongues twining in his mouth as he clung to Keith.
Their progress to Lance’s bed was slow. The kissing distracted Keith just enough that he walked into a few walls, Lance’s back bumping into it. Then, their affections became more important than moving to the bedroom and Lance found himself pressed into the wall, his hands in Keith’s hair. A couple of times, Keith banged his foot off a table or bookcase that they’d put into their narrow hallway. He broke away to curse but Lance always soothed him, kissing at his face until Keith’s lashes fluttered and Lance pressed his mouth to Keith’s.
Eventually, they reached Lance’s room. It was a bit of a mess since, needing to impress Keith every day, Lance always threw his clothes around the room in an effort to find just the right outfit. Keith carefully stepped over all of them and placed Lance gently onto his galaxy bedspread, breaking their kiss to do so. Above them, Lance had hung a mobile from the hook that had been stuck there before he’d gotten there. He hadn’t known what it was for, but it was perfect for the metal arms which dangled glow-in-the-dark stars, spinning in their wake. Lance draped his arms around Keith’s neck and pulled him in for another kiss, delighted to be kissing Keith amongst the stars, even if they were fake ones.
Keith’s weight lowered onto Lance, their hips meeting. Lance felt giddy with happiness, safe and warm with Keith on top of him. For a moment, their kiss was sweet, loving, happy. Lance’s heart swelled as Keith showered him with affection. Then Keith tilted his head just so and the slide of his tongue against Lance’s made Lance shudder with desire. His hips lifted to press against Keith’s, their erections pressed against each other through the layers of clothes. Both of them groaned, Lance’s eyes shutting at the delicious friction that dragged along his cock.
As Keith opted to press down on him to rut against him once more, Lance let his head fall back, panting. He gripped his bedsheets, the pleasure going straight to his head, making it fuzzy and hard to think. Still, he managed to speak. “Pretty- Pretty sure we need to, uh, get naked.”
“Uh huh,” said Keith, distantly. And he dove down for another kiss, shoving his tongue into Lance’s mouth now that he knew that Lance enjoyed that.
It was almost a lazy passion that they took from that kiss. Neither of them were in a hurry, despite how wet and deep the kiss was. At the same time, they rutted against each other, still fully clothed, pressing against each other. Slowly, pleasure built, Lance’s dick getting so hard that it was straining against his jeans.
Finally, Keith bit at his lip, making Lance’s arousal crest, making him feel frantic, needing, wanting more. It had him tugging at Keith’s top, trying to get it off and out of his way. Keith pulled away from the kiss, allowing Lance to pull it off him. As soon as it was removed, Lance threw it out of their way; it landed somewhere in his piles of clothes. Hands tugged at his own shirt and he sat up so that Keith could help him take it off.
“Pants,” he said, still breathing heavily against Keith’s mouth. “Pants off.”
“Mm.” The noise was distracted and Keith reached out to trail a hand down Lance’s side, his fingers leaving teasing tingles in their wake. Lance took a moment to admire Keith’s muscles, his hands hovering at Keith’s stomach. Then, instead of doing as he was told, Keith ducked down to nose at Lance’s neck. Instantly, Lance tilted his head so that Keith could get access. As soon as he did that, Keith’s lips pressed against him, kissing him over and over again, his breath fanning out over Lance’s bare skin.
“Keith,” Lance whined, arching into him, eager for more. His crotch brushed against Keith again and he shivered, the barely there touch to his cock making him feel anticipatory pleasure.
“Mm,” Keith said again. His hum vibrated against Lance’s neck as he bit down on Lance’s collarbone.
Thankfully, Keith obliged, his hands blindly searching for Lance’s zipper until he was able to pull it down. The noise made Lance shudder, suddenly aware that he was about to be exposed. His heart was thumping wildly, his breathing heavy. But Keith didn’t stop his kissing and biting, not even as he pulled down both Lance’s jeans and his underwear.
Lance’s brain caught up with him and he reached for Keith’s pants as well, annoyed when his fingers brushed against his belt. Of course, he was wearing one. With a roll of his eyes, Lance propped himself up on his elbows in an attempt to sit up. However, Keith gave a disapproving hum and pushed Lance back down. Before Lance could protest or argue, Keith slid off the end of the bed so he could stand, whipping off Lance’s jeans the rest of the way. As soon as he’d done that, he undid the buckle of his belt and whipped it from the loops. Dropping it at the side, he unzipped his own pants and pulled both them and his boxers down at once. All Lance could do was watch it all unfold, eyes wide with awe, breath caught.
Suddenly, Keith was entirely naked, all his muscles on full display. His cock strained upwards, thick and full and just a little bigger than Lance’s. The sight made Lance swallow, aware that he was probably about to have it shoved into him. Somehow, that made him happy, his heart fluttering. Everything about Keith was attractive and strong; Lance couldn’t wait until Keith was fucking him, using every muscle at his disposal.
Then Keith looked him over, taking in the way he was sprawled on his bed, his legs slightly spread. Nerves flooded him: he’d never done something like this before. Would Keith expect him to have had sex at some point? Being a virgin suddenly seemed shameful and obstructive, even though he knew it wasn’t a negative thing. Biting his lip, Lance turned his head so he could stare at his desk instead of Keith, spreading his legs as he did so. His determination returned now that he couldn’t see what was going to happen. Nothing like nerves were going to stop him from having this.
The bed dipped as Keith crawled over him, the motion visible in the corner of Lance’s eye. His arms bracketed Lance into his bed, keeping him from rolling away. Braced over Lance, Keith paused, watching him. “What’s wrong?” he asked. As soon as the words had escaped him, Keith stilled, looking far more worried than the situation warranted.
“I… haven’t done this before,” Lance admitted, turning back to him despite the blush he could feel. His eyes darted over Keith’s face, noting the way his expression had become pained, before he settled on looking into his dark, beautiful eyes. “But-But I want to.”
“Maybe... Maybe we should stop here, for now,” Keith murmured.
“What?! No way!” exclaimed Lance. “We're both hard, and I wanna get off, Kogane. Get on with it.”
Keith's body shifted, as if he was trying to rub himself against Lance despite being too high up. “If you're not ready for this-”
“I am,” Lance insisted.
“There are other ways to have sex,” Keith told him. Then, all of a sudden, his uneasy expression was wiped away by a smirk. “And I can still make you feel good.”
Lance raised an eyebrow. “Bring it, Kogane.”
“Okay. Get on the bed properly. You're half hanging off it.”
Even though he wasn't such a fan of being ordered around, Lance did as he was told without complaint, eager to find out what Keith had in mind. He shuffled back using his elbows and feet to push himself along until his head met pillows. Keith followed him, crawling in his wake like some sort of predator. It made Lance swallow, his cock twitching at the thought. Finally, Keith was above him again, reaching out to cup Lance's face.
“Well?” Lance murmured, staring up at him. Keith stared right back, gaze dark and intense.
“Ready?” Keith asked.
And Keith ducked down to kiss Lance, his tongue pushing into Lance's mouth as soon as their lips met. It sent a throb of pleasure down Lance's body and he moaned, letting his lips part wider to take him in. As the kiss grew more passionate and a little sloppy, Keith lowered himself onto Lance, Keith's body pressed along his so that he could feel Keith's glorious muscles. Distantly, Lance realised that it took a lot of strength to not collapse his entire weight against Lance. Impressed, Lance reached up to grab the back of Keith's neck and kissed him harder, his tongue pushing out and against Keith's in a little show of resistance. A small growl escaped Keith's throat as he took the challenge, pushing Lance's tongue back into his mouth – just as he angled his hips down until he was pressing their cocks together.
Startled and hopelessly aroused, Lance gasped, arching up into the friction. He could feel all the veins that stood out on Keith's dick, could feel it throbbing against him. The fact that he was being rubbed against, that he was actually having sex with Keith after months of tension, had Lance hopelessly turned on. When Keith ground down against him again, his gasp was caught in Keith's mouth as he pulled Lance into another kiss.
Time passed and yet didn't; Lance was caught up in the sensations of the passion they were caught up in. They rocked against each other, their kiss keeping them joined constantly. Keith kept them on target, lifting off when they slipped to the side so that he could push down onto Lance. He also kept himself from crushing Lance, the muscles in his arms straining. On the occasions they stopped for breath, Lance could see it when he glanced down with hazy eyes filled with lust. Lance's hands moved of their own accord till one tangled in Keith's sweaty hair and the other squeezed his bicep, hanging on throughout his rising pleasure.
Eventually, though, Keith couldn't keep himself straight. It took Lance a few thrusts to realise that he was rubbing against Keith's hip. Again, Keith growled, though this time there was far more frustration. Lance let Keith's lips slip from his so he could glance down, rather dazed from the loss of Keith’s touch. Before he could do anything, though, Keith used the arm that Lance had latched onto to reach down between them, braced only on one arm. Lance's hand dropped from his skin when he grasped their cocks, pressing them together. With that free hand, Lance clutched at his bedspread, his fingers curling tight as Keith's erratic movements became faster.
“Keith!” Lance cried out, moaning when Keith ignored him to grind down against him. At the same instant, he began to quickly stroke them off, his fingers providing barely there sensations along Lance's cock. Lance gasped at it, the tingles that ran along his skin translated to direct pleasure.
“Mm, Lance,” Keith replied, panting. Without any other warning, he ducked his head back down, trailed kisses across Lance's face, down his neck, pressed them to his lips until Lance was hungry for more. Lance let his mouth fall over and Keith pushed in, his tongue sweeping over Lance's teeth, his tongue, along the inside of his cheeks. All Lance could do was whimper, the fingers in Keith's hair tightening, his hand pulling him down closer, closer, closer...
Their movements became frantic. Faster. All Lance could think of was the pleasure. A hand on his dick. Friction along it. The kiss. Breathing was difficult, but he didn't care. Couldn't, not with Keith there. He wanted to be closer, wanted Keith inside him. So he arched closer, increasing the pressure, the pleasure, the building crescendo, the-
With a loud gasp, Lance came, his cum landing on his stomach, warm and sticky. A moment later, he felt more hit him as Keith followed suit. Lance had barely begun to catch his breath when Keith collapsed on top of him, panting against Lance's lips, his hand trapped between them. For a moment, they both struggled for breath, Lance a little more so. Then Keith seemed to remember that he was on top of Lance, heavy with muscles and cutting off his breathing. He rolled to the side, leaving his sticky hand on Lance's stomach.
“Woah,” breathed Lance, his chest still heaving. “That was... mind-blowing.”
“Really?” muttered Keith, his face half-buried in a pillow.
“Mmhmm. I don't think I've ever come so hard before.”
“How romantic,” said Keith, dryly.
Lance laughed, delighted and pleased, his heart full. “We can do romantic another time,” he told Keith, turning his head to look at him. His smile was fond: he could feel the way it danced on his lips.
Keith stared back, his expression unreadable. Lance couldn't tell what he was thinking and he wondered if he ever would. Then Keith's eyes flickered to the mess on Lance's stomach and he pushed himself up on shaky limbs. “Lemme just...”
“I'm gonna get something to clean up with.”
Just as Keith pushed himself into a seated position, Lance grabbed hold of his wrist and pouted at him. “No, wait!” he whined, drawing out his vowels. “Don’t go!”
Keith paused, his gaze fixed on Lance’s shoulder. “I’ll come back,” he promised Lance.
Still pouting, Lance reluctantly let Keith go. He watched him leave the room, his eyes drawn to Keith’s ass, tight and perfect. Lance bit his lip as he suddenly realised that he got that all to himself. Smiling, he waited patiently, not bothering to move from where he sprawled. It didn’t take long for Keith to return, a towel in his hand.
Once he’d wiped Lance down, Keith hesitated before he got into the bed. He tugged on the covers until Lance shifted enough for him to pull it over both of them. Pleased, Lance turned onto his side, facing Keith. After a moment’s hesitation, Keith rolled over too, taking Lance’s hand in his, tangling their fingers gently together.
“We should go back to studying,” Keith murmured.
“Sleep,” Lance whispered. “We can do more in the morning.” He watched Keith raise an eyebrow before he closed his eyes. Lance did the same, squeezing them tightly so he wouldn’t squeal in his excitement. Ideas for dates and nights in and other ways to show his affection flickered through his mind. That was how he fell asleep, flying high and expecting his days to brighten.
The next morning, Lance was woken by movement at the end of the bed. Grumbling, he tried to shift closer to Keith, only to realise that there was no hand holding his, no body beside him, and no warmth on the bed where it should have been. Confused, his brow furrowed, trying to work out what was happening. Someone… Keith… should be with him. Why wasn’t he?
There was a noise of fabric shifting against something. With a hum deep in his throat, Lance turned, rolling so he could find out what was happening. The covers twisted with him, tangling his legs up. He ignored that in favour of blinking blearily at where Keith was collecting his clothes from the night before, fully clothed in another combination of black and red.
“What’re you doing?” Lance mumbled, confused.
“I’ve got work,” Keith said. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Oh.” Lance pouted at him again. “I could’ve got that,” he added, meaning the clothes Keith was hurriedly bundling into his arms.
“Yeah. Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Frowning again, Lance tried to catch Keith’s eye, but the older student wasn’t looking at him. “Well, okay,” said Lance, slowly. “But… Gimme a kiss before you go, huh?”
Keith stilled, his head dropping till he stared at the floor. Dread rose within Lance, wondering what could possibly be wrong. Both of them let a silence settle, Lance unable to think of something to say for once. Every time he drew breath to speak, something stopped him and his eyes flicked over Keith’s dejected pose instead. Then, just as Keith raised his head, one of their phones buzzed. Keith’s gaze flicked to Lance’s bedside table, then down at himself. Quickly, he pulled it out of his pocket and tapped at the screen.
“I… I have to go,” Keith said and, before Lance could protest or move, Keith was gone, the door to their dorm swinging shut with a dull thud.
It took Lance a couple of days to realise that Keith was avoiding him. Their friendship, carefully cultivated, had dissolved into one minute conversations as Keith left in the morning or late at night when he woke Lance coming home. His elation at their coming together quickly dropped into heartbreak. Had Keith been using him for sex? Or had something happened that he didn’t feel he could tell Lance about?
After giving Keith plenty of chances to talk to him, Lance decided that it must have been the former. Despite his heart hurting, Lance decided that he could live with that. If Keith just wanted the release of a sexual partner, then Lance would help him, even if he liked Keith more than that. He was willing to sacrifice what he yearned for in order to help Keith, to make Keith happy. The only problem was, a week passed without him being able to tell Keith that.
Drastic measures were needed.
So, one night, while Keith was at the library (and avoiding him), Lance took a long shower, scrubbing his skin with a new body wash till he smelled of roses. He used a shampoo that made his hair look silky and smooth. Once he’d brushed his teeth and moisturised and plucked his eyebrows and exfoliated and shaved, he felt ready for what he had planned. Taking a deep breath, Lance dropped the towel he’d kept around his hips while he finished his work and stepped out of the bathroom, not bothering with his robe which he’d left in his room. Lance didn’t head in that direction, turning instead to Keith’s room and slipped into it. In the dim light from the small window and the setting sun, Lance avoided the books and papers Keith had left on his floor. He smoothed out the covers and sat down on it to wait: he only left after a few minutes to collect his phone to alleviate his boredom but his absence was only for a minute and he was soon reclined on Keith’s bed once more, scrolling through his notifications.
Finally, he heard the telltale click of their dorm door opening. Slowly, so as to make no noise, Lance locked his phone and put it on the bedside table. Then, in the time he had, he arranged himself in an artful sprawl to show off his naked body. He propped a leg up, knee bent, and spread his other leg a little so that his cock was on full display. The situation had his heart hammering and his cock reacted, stirring just enough so that it wasn’t limp.
The door opened, though Lance couldn’t see anything. Keith had crept through their dorm with the lights off. There was the thud of a bag being dropped by the door, heavy with books. Only once the door swung shut did Keith flick the light on, revealing his tired posture, the dark rings under his eyes, his pale skin against the black of his beanie and the dark red of his jacket. Lance had wondered if he’d been getting enough sleep and now he had his answer. It took Keith a moment to realise that something was out of place. When he looked up, Lance grinned and spread his legs a little more.
“Welcome home,” he said.
“Lance?” Keith gaped at him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
His annoyed tone and deep frown made Lance falter for a moment. However, he had come this far and he didn’t intend to back off now, so he dropped his grin into a smirk. “You’ve been so busy lately,” Lance explained. “So I thought I would help you destress.”
“No,” said Keith, firmly. “This isn’t happening.” With fumbling fingers and sharp movements, Keith pulled his jacket off. He threw it at Lance; it landed on Lance’s legs, the collar just brushing against Lance’s suddenly uninterested cock. “You should- You should go to your room, Lance. We can’t do this.”
Something inside of Lance broke. Grief overtook him and he had to force back the tears, tried to focus on the anger that lingered, waiting to take its place. “What do you mean, we ‘can’t do this’?!” he snapped as he sat upright. When he noticed Keith’s eyes glance downwards, he grabbed Keith’s jacket and pulled it over his groin.
“Come on, Lance.” Keith sighed. “This isn’t- Having sex with your roommate is just a bad idea.”
“So you’re saying that what we did was a mistake?” Lance demanded, his anger rising.
“No, it’s- That’s- We should just stay as friends.”
“And what if I don’t want to be your friend?”
“Then…” Keith glanced towards the front of the building. “Then I’ll see if I can swap rooms with someone.”
The grief returned, this time more intense than before. It made Lance curl in on himself, his shoulders hunched as he stared up at Keith in disbelief. “You don’t-” Lance began weakly. He stopped and swallowed, trying to get himself under control. “Don’t-” That time, his voice cracked and, after all this time, a tear fell, slowly rolling down his cheek. “You… don’t… I-I thought you wanted more. Isn’t that why you kissed me?” he asked, quietly.
Keith’s eyes were wide when Lance glanced up at him, feeling another tear fall in the other’s wake. “Lance-? Wait, I- Shit, don’t cry!”
“‘Don’t cry’?” said Lance, incredulously. “‘Don’t cry’?! Keith, what the hell do you want from me-?” He broke off as a sob escaped him and he ducked his head, wiping at his eyes. This entire venture had been a disaster. Keith didn’t want him, didn’t even want him as a friend, and he was ruining all the work on his face by crying like a schoolgirl or a jilted lover. Shaking his head, Lance pushed himself to the edge of the bed, prepared to flee. “Forget it,” he mumbled. “It doesn’t matter-”
“Yes, it does,” Keith said, so passionately that Lance looked up forgetting the tears falling from his eyes. Keith’s determined expression faltered into something pained, then confused, before he sighed and crossed the room in a couple of strides. “Wait,” he said as he sat beside Lance, reaching for him.
Lance froze, staring at him, wondering what was happening. Keith didn’t let him recover from his surprise: he grabbed hold of Lance’s hands, swept his thumbs over Lance’s knuckles in a comforting gesture, then used his grip to pull Lance into a hug. He almost resisted, but Lance’s heart hurt and he yearned for some sort of comfort. With a shaky exhale, Lance let himself fall into Keith’s arms. For some reason, he had expected it to be awkward. Yet, Keith was quick to almost pull Lance into his lap, holding Lance tight to his chest and tucked under his chin. It was so comfortable, so strangely familiar, that Lance relaxed into him, pressing his forehead to Keith’s collarbone.
“Why did you kiss me?” Lance mumbled into Keith’s t-shirt.
“I couldn’t help myself,” Keith replied. “I… I shouldn’t have done it. Not that I regret it,” Keith hastened to add. “I-I wanted to, but… You said that you’d never had sex before, and you’re younger than me. It just… It seemed like I-I’d…”
Confused, Lance straightened up, pulling away to look at Keith properly. He looked so worried and tired, like he’d been anxious about something for a while. “Like you’d what?” Lance asked, voice soft. Nothing made sense: his heart felt like it was reaching for Keith while it was still breaking.
“I took advantage of you, Lance,” Keith told him. “You’re my roommate and I helped you settle in and I helped you with your assignments and you’re my friend. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get the better of me. When-When you said we should go to your bed in the heat of the moment, I should’ve stopped myself-”
“Stop. Keith, what are you saying, exactly?”
Keith blinked at him. “What-? I-I’m saying that I… I should have stopped us to have a discussion, at least, about it before we just- You know.”
“You… wanted to talk about our feelings before we had sex?” Lance asked, dumbfounded.
“I- Maybe. Just… It was pretty sudden,” said Keith, turning his head to stare at the floor. “It just…” Sighing, Keith lifted his head, looking at Lance again. “If you wanted to have sex with me, then I suppose I was just… overreacting.”
Lance looked over Keith’s face, taking in the way his mouth was a straight line, the slight furrow to his brow, the way his eyes flicked away in a lightning quick reaction when their gazes locked. Clearly, Keith wasn’t entirely convinced that they should just call it sex and move on. “If you wanted to talk about our feelings,” Lance said, slow and cautious, “then we can do that now.”
“What?” said Keith, eyes widening.
“Yeah,” said Lance. “We should- We should get all this out in the open. Otherwise, we’ll just be stuck with all this… tension. You wanna go first?”
Keith grimaced. “I-”
“It’s okay,” Lance quickly interjected. “I can speak first.”
Taking a deep breath, Lance shuffled back from Keith so that he had space to get his thoughts together. “I… I like you. A lot. I mean,” he added, when he saw Keith’s eyebrows raise in surprise, “we kinda got off on the wrong foot.” With a chuckle, Lance ducked his head to stare at the jacket in his lap. “You… I mean, I was trying to act cool and I did a really bad job of it, for a theatre kid. And then you were kinda distant but…” Frustrated at the words escaping him and the ones still trapped, Lance sighed. It turned into an irritated groan. “Do you realise how hot you are?” he demanded.
“Uh, no?” said Keith, sounding rather distant, as if he was in shock.
“Well, you are,” Lance told him, horribly aware that his cheeks had turned red. “And I… sorta panicked, the first few times you tried to talk to me.” He brought up his hands to hide his face. “It was awful. And then I thought you hated me and we were arguing all the time and there was all this tension-”
Lance dropped his hand to frown at Keith, pointing a finger at him sternly. “It’s not your fault. Anyway, we became friends and I didn’t wanna make a fool of myself again, but there was all this tension, and I really wanted to-” Lance looked away again. “I wanted to ask you on a date, but you’re all cool and mysterious. So I… decided to… wait? I just- I didn’t want to go back to us avoiding each other. And, when you kissed me, I… I just… I wanted it so badly. I thought you did, too.”
“I did,” Keith assured him.
“Really?” asked Lance, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course I did,” snapped Keith. “I… But you’re a year below and it felt… wrong. Even though you’re old enough.” Keith sighed heavily. “Having sex before a date seems… like a bad idea. It’s… I didn’t just want sex.”
“Neither did I.”
They stared at each other in silence. Once it had all sunk in, Lance barked a laugh. They both started laughing then, Keith’s face lighting up so that he looked as beautiful as he always was. Lance couldn’t believe they had both been wanting the same thing and had managed to stop themselves from being happy. And now…
“So, um,” said Lance, his laughter dying.
“Well, uh,” Keith began. The older student, looked away, frowning a little.
“Should we-? Would you-?” Lance took a deep breath, then cleared his throat. “Would you like to go on a date, then?”
“I- Yes. Yeah. I would.”
Grinning, Lance threw his arms around Keith’s shoulders. “A date!” he exclaimed, excited and relieved and nervous all at once. There were so many ideas he could use for their first date. At the same time, he wanted to kiss Keith right there, wanted to let his hands wander. His face heated and he was glad that his face was buried in Keith’s neck.
“Okay, uh,” said Keith, his arms sliding around Lance’s waist. He gave Lance a squeeze. “Maybe we can… uh… hash out the details tomorrow? I-I don’t think I’ll be able to stay awake much longer.”
“Oh. Right. Yeah.”
“Also, uh, I don’t think I can talk to you while you’re… er…”
Drawing away from Keith, Lance blinked at him before he remembered his original plan. Grimacing, Lance glanced down at the jacket. “Oh. Um. Do-Do you want me to… go?”
“I- No- But-” Keith winced and shifted away from Lance. “I just need… some time…?”
For a moment, Lance let his eyes take in the way Keith looked torn. Lance realised that Keith wanted him to stay, but that Keith needed time to breathe, to get his thoughts in order, to sleep - to do what Lance needed to do and squeal into a pillow. Nodding, Lance pulled away from him and stood, holding the jacket up to cover his crotch. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll, uh, see you in the morning. Goodnight- Wait.” He gestured at the jacket. “Is it okay to-?”
“Of course,” said Keith, smiling up at him, something fond in his eyes.
“Okay. Goodnight, then.”
With a wave and a smile, Lance left. As soon as he was out of the room, he stared down at Keith’s jacket, his heart swelling. After a moment, he hugged it to his chest, smiling widely, giddy with contentment. He couldn’t wait to take Keith out on a date and call him his boyfriend and hold his hand and-
Lance didn’t hold out till he was in his room to squeal in excitement.