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Avengerz: Waifu Wars [AAO ver.]

Chapter Text

Suddenly everyone appeared on a battlefield. The battlefield was covered with DED BODIES AND IT WAS SUPER CREEPY AND FULL OF FORESHADOWING.

Azura summoned all of the bottle caps in the university. "Ut is Tim for War".

What kind of War? "Harry Stylez' sked.

"A Waifu War.% Matt Mercer's voiced boomed from the heathens at an earrape level.

 

 

 

 

TO Be CONTINUED IN WAIFU WARS!!!!!!!!

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Obana dabbed. "This date is pretty lit."

Shakespeare smiled. "Yesth, thou isth corecth. I love watching A Yeet Pi: The Movie with my hot boyfriend." Just then on the screen A Yeet Pi talked about the Joy's of there of no net nutrality.

Suddenly Sweat Home Alabamma started blasting through speakers so hard that WINDOES XP BROKEN. Oba and Shaksspeare jumped up from the couch and then suddenly a glass shard his Obama on the forehead.

"OH NO NOT MR. OVAKA!" SHAKESPEARE SCREMED.

And then everything went to black.

 

 

 

 

 

*a dark screen*

*dramatic music starts playing*

*the title rolls up onto the screen?

*Waifu Wars.*

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I LEFT THE STORY ON A HIATITS FOR A MINUTE!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. HOW COULD I DO THAT?! I'M SO STUPID!!!!!!1!

 

 

 

 

I'M SORY GUYS I'LL ADD MORE CHAPTER FOR YOU ALL! I LOVE YOH! EVEN YOU @ships_ahoy_ you bastard how dare you make fun of my goddamn OTP IN YOUR SHIP RATE BOOK AND YET YOU PRAISE THE HELL.OUT OF SHIPPING CHROM AND FREDERICK?! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT. SHAKESPEARE X OBAMA IS BETTER THAN ADULT LINK X LINEBECK, AND IT IS FAR BEYOND THE LIKES OF DIODESHIPPING. @ships_ahoy_ YOU FRICKING FRICK. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!

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Adrain JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Paul Blart, and Garry Styles were discussing how they would take down the Resistence and win back Obama.

"Wii need to gather them and Shapes in one place. But how?" Apul Blart pondered.

"Don"/ fuxking bother me, I'm watching my maid hentai," Adian Johansen snapped.

 

Suddenly something crashed through the apartment and it was Takumi!

Takin, who was high on Starbucks, stumbled in the room. His legs were bleeding from the rubble that dug into his legs because he crashed into the apartment complex. Be looked up and saw Adian Johansen.

"I'M NOT GAY," Adian Johansen yelled.

"WAIT." Tasini interrupted. "I have an idea to help you guys in gathering the Resistence and Shakespread in one place." "How about a Harvest Hoedown?"

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Obama was bound and gagged and pound and held captive by the Obama-lovers and bound and gagged AMD was also in a closet BUT IT'S NOT KINKY YOU GUYS. I STILL PUT A WARNING ANYWAYS.

Harry Styles and Adian Adian Johansen were both fighting over who was going to SUCC Obama first. Takummi was in the kitchen praying.for death. Paul Blart was on another online dating site. Aunt Jemima was on her way to the Aunt-Obama group because she now hated Obama HAHAHAHAHA UNEXPECTED BETRAYAL. And Harry Styles was getting sexual with his Glass Joe body pillows.

Obama sighed. It was another Irish WedThursday.

Also Paul Blart has a crush on Billy Ray Cyrus.

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Azura and Dank Pit had decided to hold Shakespeare captivating because of an agreement with the Obama-loaves. Shakespeare, unlike Obama, was treated with some respect. He wasnt licked in a closet.

Because Linebeck was sent to the Shadow Realm like Miguel was in Coco, Shakespeare got his room. Aunt Jemima made him delicious pancakes. Surprisingly, because Shakespeare was a literary expect, Dark Pit let him read his Fire Emblem 4Koma. And as for Azura, she was surprisingly non-violent.

"So why are you all being so nice to me?" Shakespread pondered one day.

Aunt Jemima shrugged and jumped out of a window, ending her life.

Azura sighed. "Looks like we need new recruits. The Obama-lovers have Paul Blart, Harry Styles, Adian Johansson, Takumi. That makes four. Now we have two. We need to make it evin."

 

Dark Pit coughed. "Actually, I hear Harry is trying to bring his body pillows to life."

Azura sighed. "We're outnumbered by our enemy."

 

 

 

 

Suddenly a knock came at their apartment door. Without warning, the door was kicked down.

"EVERYONE. IS. HERE!" a voiced yelled. Two men walked out, one carrying the other. The one being carried had hair whiter than whoever decided to put the Frozen TV shot in front of MY BELOVED COCOO!!!! The one who was carrying theother had blue hair.

Azura was confused. "C-Chrome?!"

The prince nodded. "I'm in Smash, bitches we're gonna get married also we hate Obama." Robin nodded. Joey threw up after hearing he was going to get married to his future World History teacher.

Speaking of which Reggie was also there.

Azura smiled. "Now we have more!"

Shakespeare could only watch and hope his beloved Obamaa was okay.

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Joey did not throw up in the Alston chapter guys.

Also Reggie got there because of Lord Licorice and Saberspark.

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Ftedrick, Jake Pauk, and Teggie wwre not Frederick from Fire Emblem Awakening, the greatest YouTuber ever, and some guy at Nintendo. Ftedrick was Frederick's long-lost twin brother who enjoyed wearing snow suits. Jake Pauk was confused with Jake Paul because of their names and appearances and that theyr names are nearly idetnicall. Teggie was Reggie from an alternate universe except Teggie was a woman. But all three ot then heavily ship William Shakesper x Obama.

How did they meat, you ask?

You see it all happened at, VidKon. Ftedrick stole snowsuits from Jake Pauk's overrriced stand. Jake Pauk noticed this and started chasing after the boi. But th- en Teggie grabbed Ftedrick, muttering and mumbling that her body was ready. Ftedrick gulped and she smiled saying she was kidding. She asked if he was okay.

He sad yes and adjusted his snowsuit.

Jake Pauk found them and decided that bexayse Teggie was hot, everything was coolio and now he and Ftedrick wsre alleys.

Teggie lived I an Animal Crossing town because in this unidvrre she invested in that rather than Fort Night. This sucks because Fortnite is my new favorite game! I love the dances so much oh my God I hope my school's gay club has it this year do we can do them! Teggie sold the Fortnite bus and got a lot of bells from in and she was able to buy a mansion in her town. Being a nice woman, she let Ftederick and and Jake live with her.

One day the news came on and the was two pieces of news. The first was that Lil Pump was going to marry Ponyboy!!! Aya!!! Second was that Naked Paul was awarded th No Bell Peas Prize because of how god-like he was. Except he"@ not God. That's Matther Mercer lol no o'm kidding I'm a good kid. The third news was that both Obama and Shakespeare were kidnapped! At their castle! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!

Teggie, Ftederick, and Jake Pauk were all distraught. There's no way that the last one was real! Shakespwwsr and Obama were too good to be kidnapped? Yea! What? How come when I talk words are appearing? Is my uh phone broken okay let me turn it-

Jake Pauk emerged with three Ghostbusters uniforms. "I ain't afraid of no assholes who took our guys" he swore OH NOT HE SWORE. 😱 SILLY JAKE, PROFANITY IS BAD.

Dr Phil was interviewing Mr Mosby on the event on TV. "It was sudden. I am triggered and offended on every level. They come into our castle. They diss our lobby. Then they kidnaps the Lord Shakespeare and his boyfriend. I'll miss one of them."

Jake Pauk emerged with three Ghostbusters uniforms. "I ain't afraid of no assholes who took our guys" he swore OH NOT HE SWORE. 😱 SILLY JAKE, PROFANITY IS BAD.

Ftedrick shook his head. "No thank you, My snowsuitz are enough thanks fam but no thanks."

Then all of a sudden! Cool cat came out to save the kids and Snakespear and Ovaka! He took Ftederick's uniform that was meant for Ftederick and it looked good on him!

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Well, the more characters, the better!

First off we have Shrek and Rapunzel, who are a couple!!! Rapunzel accidentally stumbled across Shrek's swamp and she was saying sory a lot and she was so sad nut Shrek was very forgiving and ge let her into her life and his swamp and hsi home. And maybe he loves her more than she loves himn how AWAII!

 

 

And then the other character is Mina! She supports both O ama and Shakespeare! She is their best friend! She has magic neko powereds and she ais NOT ME YOU GUYS. MINA IS NOT ME.

 

SHE'S NOT ME AT ALL!

 

 

Last one is yet to be reval!!! ^-^

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Captain Man from Henry Danger had a tender to stock Adrain aNd di some nononobono things to hin and Adian was xuremtly in a closet te toi ug trying to stay quiet and it was kinda creeppy but then ALIVIN AND THE CHIMPMUNKS CAME AND SAVED HIM!!!!!!!!!!

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Suddenly, everyone was on the beach! Whoah! Unexoected twst!

 

Obama looked down and frowned, realizing that 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 HEWASINA BIKINI!!!!!++1!

"This is so wrong!" He yelled.

Shakespeear saw this and changed into a bathing suit himself!!! That's dedicated! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🖕👏👏👏👏

 

"Omg youre so hot."NO Obama moaned and Shakesprea said that his Al-Obama was too.

 

Meanwhile Adian Johansen was transported to another bart of the peach. Rather than being insecure, he em-braces this. "It's not a miad outfit, he sighed" but it will do... it will do.

 

The last people to be taken to the bitch was Alvin, Cool Cat, Ftedrick, Jake Pauk, and Teggie. Alvin was hogging the ball, which Teggie was kind of upset about LOOK AT HOW UPSET HE IS!!!

 

Cool Cat was having a great time, while Jake was very shy!

Ftedrick was pissed because he wasn't wearing a snowsuit.

 

But then, God called!

It was time to go home, on well, there might be a sequel if I get ten comments!~

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Hey you guys know that thing called Stickhold Stockhold Stockholm Syndrome and no lol I'm not talking about the villain from the Incredibles (THE SEQUEL WAS BETTERRRRR!!!!!! !)

Well basically Shakesoeare has it now omgggggggggggggy

Well not exactly he's still loyal to Obama but he loves his captors like his own family now.

Chrom.and Robin keept inviting Shakespeare into their nightly sex but every time he said no because he's saving his first time for his Obama-sama.

Asuzura had been acting more like a mother towatfs Hskaepare wjich is funny because be's dead irl.

Dark Pit had become sort of an profective prother tlwafcs the play write.

Reggie was there to consume their food.

Linebe k was still in the shadow realism.

 

Shakespeare started to realize many things, however, that his captivators didm'y agree with:

■ Obama-sama-kun was the best president

○ Gender really was an illusion

• Steven Universe, a cartoon banned in the apartment he was held captive in, was amazing.

° CNN was the best noose source

▪ The best Zelda games were the CD-i ones all along

Even whtb thise3 those differences they somehow got along.

Shakespeare sat down for another brekfest of the now deceased Aunt Jemima's pancake hoard that dye had stacked b4 her deliberate sewer slide.

Azura sat at the seat next to him. "Morning" she yawned. It had been a month since the kidnapping and he felt at home shome how. He was used to Azura makuing her coffee, drunking it, and then proceeding to dump it on Chrom and Robin, whose only food was their partner's semen.

Dark Pit would come in next being the emo a-- that he was. He would read the beespaparr like a n old person would and complain about Obamacare. Shakespeare was use rot these jabs by bow and threw some of his own on occasion.

Dark Pit would then beat his ass until he pleaded for mercy.

Reggie would watch all of this before boarding the bus so he could go to work, making Fortnite reaction videos and let's plays for millions of viewers, but he's not as great as Pewdiepie LOLOLOLOLIKILOKKHSIADSNANDKILLMENOWEBROWBFISBEIRJQOEORWHEMOFEHENFISBENDJDBWNTHISSHITPOSTISLEGITIMATELYKILLINGMEAHEIWHDOWNDISNSBENS.

Shakespeare took in the now familiar sites and sounds and sights and feelings and food and websites and sightings. He started to like this place.

 

Etika, who was watching all of this started freaking out like when Smash Ultimate was announced.

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OMG SO I WAS REWATXHING THE CHIMPMUNKS CHIPMUNKC CIMP GOD DAMMIT I CAN'T SPELL THAT WORND THE ALVIN MOVIES AND IAN HAWKE OS SO HOT AD IEHQIFBENDKAN I GOTTA ADD BIM OKAY OKAY

He's dating Mina, ho again, is NOT ME.

And he has the power to fly and sing and qll srts of cool things also he likes to eat roasted chipmulk BUT DON'T TELL YIS EX-HUSBAND DAVID SEVILLE!.!

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So every Science Class, I’m all like

“ Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy, Jimmy’s gonna kill me ( Yeah see you on the other side, yeah see you on the other side ) “

Adian Johansson told everyone wat the diner table, whose were Harry Stukes, Paul Blart, Takjmi, and Obaka but he's in the closets!

 

I suddenly! A knick! It was no one else other but COUNT CHOCULA!!!

"IRS YOU!" HE YELED. "I HAVE CHASED YOU THROOGU THE WILD KRATTS OF ASIA, RUSSIA, AND THE RICE FIELDS! AND NOW J HAS ROUND YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taco Meat let out a laugh. "And the candy canes that you shove up your ass."

Aidani screeched.! "NO I DON'T."

Counr Chocolaty scoffed. "I-ah have-ah no-ah time-ah for-ah you-ah!" He yelled in an Italin accent or sumthing.

IT WAS TIME OF THE VAMPYRE'S REVENGE/INVASION! BUT THEN OBAMA BURST OUT OF RHE CLPSET AND KILLED COUNT COCKULA!

Everyone 2as shocked. Adian started crying. "ALL OF MY EFFORTS FOR NOTBUNG! YOUR LUCKY YOU ASEXUAL BASTARD!"

Obama agrees that he's sexy. He was very ripped.

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Ban! Boom! Obama burst open the woodem door! Wham! Pow! Everyone was lying on floor!

Obama ran! He and ran!

"Shaiespe te!" #germanshepherd

But no answer. So he yelled again.

"Shakespeare! It is Mysterious OBAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAA!" He was cried and tears streamed like the water spoubt.

Be then teleporter to the apartment that held Shakeespr ew a captive!

"Obama, I will free you!!!!" He called.

But Sheakpre didn't want free.

Heh. 69 words. Archive of Our Own, you dirty-monded site you

Obama screamed. "Why noy?!"

Shakes pier sighed. "I have a new family and you cannot change my mind I am sorely."

"NO9OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPIOUIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

"Peave before I say the n-word" Black Pit threatened.

"Obama fled he apartment, crying.

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SHIETI FORGOT THE HALLPWEEN SPECIAL!

 

>come back to later<

Chapter Text

Obama 2as riding down the dark and rainy roads of The Bronx, a town in New Joysey (that's how they say it in the state apparently). He was crying and the raindrops did not help sheeld the pain.

"Hol up hol up hol up, hol it gotta call it!" Someone screamed, getting Obamam no nearly swerve his motorcycle and swerve into a tree. But he dudn't!

"Who nearly killed the magesruc Obama??that is I?"Obama conducted.

A woman stepped out the the shadows. "Michelle?" Barack aired, hally to to see his cousin.

",>'m sorry, Barack Obama, but I'm not." The woman continued to walk .

"Come into the light" Obama told Teggie.

The mysterious woman sighed, and walked under the light of the street lamp.

:"uh excuse me who are you?"

"My name is Teggie. My uncle works at Nintendo, and I love Fortnite. And you. But no homo."

"Yss homo, but it are girlo."

"Am I?" She asked.

"Yes." I said, defending my OC.

 

Three other girls steppe out of the shadows. All of them were wearing GhostbustersTM uniforms. One of them was a fabulous feli

feline. One of them was blonde and looked really hot. One of them was Teggie. And one of them wourl much rather be in a snowsuit.

"Omg who are you guys"

"Uhhhhhhhhh"./&÷ the group caid because they had no official name yet.

"Mormons?"

"Aerosmith?"

"Sonichu?"
"The Snowsuit Squad?"

All suggestions, as original was the names were, and were not good enough.

Dan Schneider came by them and started to try and get Lohan Paul to show him his feet. Suddenly a gunshot!b Ang!

Michelle Obama stood there with Skipper and a Taco Dog and Etika and Dwayne the Rock Johnsons (who was Adian's uncle.*

He is dead.

 

No one mourned for the loss as Michelle tweeted the corpse off of a bridge. They had a lot of bridges in Sam Diego.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Obama!" Skioper said. "Where is we to slep?"

Suddenly a princess in an pink dress rode in on a TURTLE with Ian Hawke.

"Mina!" Evertine yelled, happy that their best friend and warrior princess was alive and eell.

"Henlo I have a mansion wehre we can all live!"

"But what about my Shakespeare?" ONAMA asked.
"We shall see later." She told him. "But the prophecy is more important."

"Prophecy?" Asked asked. "Yes:

Two beings, one good, one bad
One's life is good, the other is sad
The sad shall be pure, the other not so
Sorry if my RHYME Ain good, you

Sacrifice the pineapple, put him in bread,
But spoiler alert, he might not die.
The nuts will be boiled and ache and
Shit I didn't wrote a rhyme for bread."

"That's weirdly specifix" Onama said but accepted it anyways.

 

It is coming.

Chapter Text

Two beings, one good, one bad
One's life is good, the other is sad
The sad shall be pure, the other not so
Sorry if my RHYME Ain good, you

Sacrifice the pineapple, put him in bread,
But spoiler alert, he might not die.
The nuts will be boiled and ache and
Shit I didn't wrote a rhyme for bread

The sacred prophecy repeated its words in his head.

DAMMNIT I COULD HAVE USED.THAT INSTEAD.

.

 

He scowled. He knew he was impure and bad. He dian't now why good girls liked bag duys. He had that question for a real long timee.

There was no reason for his enemy's ro be a "pure". He knew wHt that meant.

Matt Mercer.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

And het it was not.

"Ny gift is raedy to be brought to the earth." he narrated to himself.

He became a DnD DungeonMaster Nd yeeted his idea down on a golden Turtle O' Wisdom.

 

Just Luke the prophecy, the being was pure, has a sad life, was pure, and is good.

Glass Joe was brought onto the Earth.

 

And Professor Kukui would not have it.

Chapter Text

Suddenly everyone appeared on a battlefield. The battlefield was covered with DED BODIES AND IT WAS SUPER CREEPY AND FULL OF FORESHADOWING.

Azura summoned all of the bottle caps in the university. "Ut is Tim for War".

What kind of War? "Harry Stylez' sked.

"A Waifu War.% Matt Mercer's voiced boomed from the heathens at an earrape level.