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I Bet This Last Time's The One Time Too Many

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“I need oxygen to the stage please!"

"You need-?"

"Oxygen and oral sex to the stage, please!”

"And maybe some of those male chromosomes! To the stage."

- Mark Hoppus & Tom DeLonge, Voyeur, The Mark, Tom, And Travis Show (The Enema Strikes Back!)




It begins on a bright, sunny day.


Steve Rogers walks into the New Avenger Facility’s common room, and catches sight of Wanda Maximoff, clad in nothing but a pair of shorts and a bra, splayed out on the couch, digging into a tub of ice cream and binge-watching Glee.


His eyes fall upon the scantily clad woman, and almost immediately, his cock is doing it’s best to imitate a soldier jumping to their feet. The nice thing about the super soldier serum is that it amplifies everything, the not so nice thing, besides the inability to get drunk and/or high (barring the intervention of Thor and a fuckton of Asgardian booze and Tony with very high quality drugs), is that when Steve Rogers gets horny, everyone notices.


Fortunately, the good Captain has devised a solution to that little problem.


Hide behind something.


“Wanda. ‘Sup?” He asks, immediately ducking to his left and hiding his lower half of his body behind the pool table. It’s days like this where he wishes it was colder, then he could be wearing baggier pants and not have to hide behind something to avoid displaying how happy he is to see the Sokovian right now.


“Steven.” Wanda says through a mouthful of ice cream, inclining her head in his direction. “How are you?”


“Good. Just ah...trying to stay cool in this heat.” He makes a show of poking into the fridge for something to eat, and to be fair, he is a bit hungry, so it’s not a bad thing. “I’ll be in my office.” He adds, hoping that’ll be a good excuse to get out before she notices his erection.


“You sure you don’t want to stay?” The Sokovian asks, gesturing at one of the empty spots on the couch, and in an effort to save both his dignity and not piss her off, Steve decides to go with the tried and true “too much work” response.


“Got some things that need doing. Can’t stop.” He says, grabbing some food. With his excuse in hand and his cover story said, he carefully angles his return route to avoid the possibility of Wanda spotting his erection, and walks out of the room, trying to get his mind off of the sight of Wanda’s mostly-naked body and onto something that will allow him to walk around without a firehose in his pants.


Try as he might, the thoughts of Wanda’s scantily clad form persist, but thankfully, no one crosses his path in-between the common room and his office. He sets the plate of food down, pulls up a tab on his computer, and goes searching for Sokovian models while enjoying his meal.


He didn’t say what kind of work he was doing, after all.



The second time it happens, it’s Rhodey’s fault.


One particularly hot day, Rhodey, having apparently taken a page out of Tony’s book, spontaneously decided that what the team needed was a day out at the beach. Not wanting to be a stick in the mud, and mostly because it was sweltering and he wanted an excuse to go outside, Steve had happily agreed to the plan.


For the most part, Rhodey’s plan has gone off quite well. Everyone’s enjoying themselves, even Vision, and the robotic man is just floating serenely in the air, acting as an impromptu lifeguard and/or sentry, in case someone who would regret it very much thought attacking a beach where the Avengers were at was a good idea.


Though, in retrospect, he would’ve thought a little harder about his choice of swim trunks.


Being at the beach means that one naturally, doesn’t wear much.


Thus, it was with some surprise that Wanda is the one who goes in a two-piece bikini that has Steve’s attention going way in her direction, rather than Natasha, who goes with a more conservative one-piece that fits her quite nicely, and hides the scar she gained when Bucky, still in his Winter Soldier persona, shot her.


Doing his best to subtly check out Wanda’s mostly-naked form, Steve catches the beach ball that Sam throws in his direction and bounces it back. Wanda, for her part, is splashing lazily in the surf, enjoying the chance to cool off. Water flows off of her hair in rivets, and the soaked fabric of her swimsuit has Steve admiring the way the wet cloth sort of conforms to the brown-haired woman’s body.


The beach ball bounces off his head, jarring him right back to reality. Steve blinks and catches sight of Sam, who is doing what many are want to do when they nail their distracted friend on the head with a beach ball, which is, of course, point and laugh.


Glad that the water hides his lower body, Steve swims back towards the beach ball, retrieves it, and tosses it back towards Sam. He’s glad for the man’s company, because it’s keeping his mind focused on not getting bopped in the head with the ball and giving Sam more reason to laugh at him, and a lot less on Wanda’s sexy, supple form, which would no doubt lead to a physical reaction that would probably get him arrested for public indecency.



The third time’s the charm, or so they say, because when Steve walks in on Wanda, she’s gone way past just showing off her body.


Generally speaking, it is polite form to knock when you enter someone’s bedroom.


Steve Rogers, gentleman incarnate, America’s Golden Boy, and occasional doofus, sometimes forgets this rule, particularly before he’s had his daily shot of coffee. To be fair, it’s actually nine at night, and the supersoldier’s mind is frayed, courtesy of having pulled an all-nighter the previous night and then gone into the current day without even grabbing a nap.


In any case, Steve stumbled down the hallway, thinking of nothing more than toppling into his bed and remaining in said bed until hell froze over or he got hungry, whichever happened first. It was, with that previously mentioned mental state in mind, that he took a left instead of a right and found himself opening the door to the room of one Wanda Maximoff.


Thus, it was with some surprise that when Steve opened the door, expecting to see the comforting sight of his bed, he was instead greeted with the sight of a masturbating Sokovian psionic.


A surprise of a sight, to be sure, but it was a welcome one.


Wanda’s fingers were buried in her cunt, while her other hand was clamped around her mouth, muffling the sound of her voice. It wasn’t particularly necessary for her to try and muffle herself, considering she was the only one in the room. And the walls were reasonably thick anyways.


Notations on the building aside, the sight of Wanda enjoying herself induced the reaction one expected it would induce in a supersoldier who very much liked what he was seeing. Which was, of course, an erection. Now basically unable to move, Steve opted to just figuratively sit back and enjoy the show.


More or less ignorant to the man staring through the partially opened door, Wanda thrashed on her bed, moaning and gasping, eyes shut. Steve presumed she was fantasizing about someone, or perhaps several someones, and the naturally vivid mind the man had took the fantasy of Wanda riding his cock and ran away with it.


Slowly, Wanda settled back down on her bed, apparently having finished. Her hand came off of her mouth, and she took several gulping gasps of air. Deciding that now would be a very good time to leave, Steve quietly shut the door, neglecting to actually close it, not that the aroused man noticed.


He needed some alone time, and stat.


Finding his actual room with little difficulty, now that he was more or less wide awake, Steve shut the door and hastily began to undo his pants. It was days like this that he resented his fashion sense, which was best described as “preppy golfer mugs Walmart Greeter”. Maybe he’d take a page out of the sixties and seventies and start dressing like a hippie.


Yanking off all his clothes with the grace only a very horny man could muster, that is to say, none, Steve tossed himself onto his bed and shut his eyes. Visions of Wanda danced in front of his mind’s eye, and Steve’s hand grasped his cock and began to stroke.


He liked Wanda. He really did.


Admittedly, introducing herself to him by way of slamming him into a wall and backing away in some creepy manner was definitely not the greatest way to meet someone, but then again, he’d met a number of his allies and friends in the most peculiar of situations.


Like Thor, who attempted to squish him flat. Or Tony, master of overly dramatic entrances. Or Vision. Or Pietro. Or the Howling Commandos. Or Bucky when he was prancing around as the Winter Soldier. Basically, at this point, it was probably easier to count the amount of people he'd met in a manner that didn't involve some kind of violence and/or weirdness than it was to count the people who had.


Seriously, at this point, he was pretty sure the next person to join the Avengers would introduce themselves by way of breaking into the compound and loudly demanding to have buttsex with Vision.


The Sokovian had such a good taste in clothes. Gothic style clothes fit her so well, and it left a lot to the imagination. He liked the uniform she’d chosen to run around in on the field, and he really liked how most of her wardrobe consisted of tops better suited to a dance club, and plenty of skirts that showed off her legs.


Speaking of which, the thought of Wanda, legs spread and baring her pussy, had the man speeding up his movements. Natasha’s training regimen was doing wonders for her, that was for sure. The brown-haired woman’s legs were smooth, somewhat pale, yes, but in that creamy manner that just begged for him to run a finger up and down those supple limbs.


And her breasts! Wanda had tits, and she wasn’t afraid to show them either. Both her Avengers uniform and her casual wear put a bit of emphasis on those beautiful things, and the thought of pressing his lips to them and swirling his tongue around her nipple made Steve’s raging desire to get off to the thought of Wanda burn all the hotter.


Steve’s free hand clenched the bedsheets, crumpling them at the impact point. He thought of Wanda’s face, how smooth it was, that elegant, angular beauty that had drawn him in, distracting him time and time again. Her cheeks just yearned for a hand to touch them, and the thought of kissing those quivering lips had kept him up at night many times before.


And now...well, his thoughts alternated between wanting to see Wanda’s mouth take his cock and wanting to pin her to the nearest available surface and kiss her senseless. Not that one necessarily had to be excised in favor of the other, the analytical mind of the supersoldier had already drawn up a “How to Fuck Wanda Maximoff” Flowchart and was no doubt planning to hold a four-hour dissertation on the topic.


Mind circling back around to what he’d seen not fifteen minutes earlier, Steve envisioned the sight of Wanda’s fingers in her pussy, and desperately wished that it had been his cock inside of her. He liked the sight of Wanda pleasuring herself, the sight would keep him company on those more boring nights in the field, but a large part of his mind desired to know how tight and wet that pussy of hers was.


Not a minute later, Steve came, shooting a thick, hot load to the thought of doing so inside of Wanda. He moaned, masturbating hand losing it’s steady, rhythmic movements and devolving into some form of sexual anarchy, and in doing so, the man made a mess of his bedsheets and himself.


Not that he particularly cared.


At this point, anything short of his mother herself barging into his room and loudly demanding to know what the hell he was doing wouldn't have gotten a reaction out of him.


Wanda distracted him like no other, after all.



Wanda is relaxing from the aftermath of her orgasm when she catches the first wave of desire in the air. It’s loud, and proud, and has the kind of purpose that only her leader could possibly imbue in the emotion of desire .


Latching onto the wave of emotion with the grace of a surfer catching an actual wave, Wanda followed the sensations all the way back to their source, and found herself mentally hovering at the fortress that was Steve Rogers’ psionic presence. He was practically radiating want, which meant that he was most likely masturbating.


Snatching a thought out of the air, Wanda peered into her leader’s mind and found herself...looking at herself, like one would look into a mirror. She could see her body, pristine and supple, like that of a goddess, and feel the way that Steve’s mind focused on a particular aspect of her form, analyzing it and listing the many positive qualities of said region before moving on.


Mentally grabbing at as many of Steve’s thoughts as she could, Wanda began peering into snippet after snippet, each one coming up with variations of desire for her. Steve’s thoughts shifted from poetic to pornographic, and thoughts about how smooth and soft her lips were quickly became thoughts of said lips wrapped around his cock.


To her surprise, these thoughts went back quite a bit, to the day where he’d walked in on her binge-watching TV and eating ice cream straight from the tub, in fact. She caught flashes of her in her swimsuit, in other, scanty clothes, and generally got the feeling that this had been going on for a long, long while.


More importantly, she caught more than just base desire in his thoughts. Though he wasn’t actively radiating said emotions, she caught an undercurrent of genuine affection for her in his mental musings. If she had to guess, Steve’s feelings for her went beyond the general  “I wanna fuck the hot woman in the gothic clothes” thoughts she picked up when she was in public.


Carefully setting aside those musings for later perusal, Wanda disengaged from Steve’s mind, having seen enough. She was too worn out to act on her feelings on the matter at present, but later...well.


If Steve wanted her so badly, there was no harm in giving him what he wanted.


She liked him too, after all.



The smartphone on the dresser went ping.


Picking it up, Steve unlocked his phone with the alacrity of a man versed in technology. Having spent no less than three years out of the ice, he was only pretending to be out of touch with modern technology for the sake of amusing Tony. Natasha knew perfectly well that Steve was just as capable with modern day tech as everyone else, particularly after she’d borrowed his laptop for some reason he didn’t quite remember and found some nine hundred gigabytes worth of porn on it.


Thankfully, Tony was still convinced Steve thought the likes of Playboy and Hustler magazines were the way to go when it came to finding porn. The man probably even thought that he watched taped porn on VCRs like how he himself had no doubt done back in the eighties and nineties.


In any case, he saw a single, innocuous text message from Wanda. Perfectly fine with this, he tapped on her relevant thread and opened it...and was presented with a selfie of the Sokovian, wearing a smile and nothing else.


Steve’s mouth dropped.


His cock also promptly stood at attention, but that little detail was lost in the fact that Steve’s mind was mostly focused on the little unexpected notch in the day planner titled “ naked Wanda ”. In fact, one could go so far to say that anything except matters relevant to “Wanda Maximoff Sent Me A Naked Selfie” had been chucked out the nearest thirty-story window with the kind of force and velocity that would’ve made the Hulk jealous.


As the man who always had a plan, Steve decided there was only one thing to do.


Play dumb.


He was good at that. Really good at that. He’d grown up with Bucky, after all, and the man attracted trouble like no other and had constantly emphasized the need to act innocent, and nothing said innocent like pulling the ‘good boy’ act. And no one pulled off the ‘good boy’ act quite like Steve Rogers.


Uh, Wanda? I think you sent this to me on accident. He typed into his phone, sending the message off and sitting back on his bed, waiting the response that would determine his next action.


Instead of a hastily typed back message running along the lines of “I’m sorry, please forget what you saw or I’ll come over and make you forget”, he got another photo.


This time, Wanda was lying spread out on her bed, winking at the camera.


Not a mistake. Came the follow-up text.


A third ping , and this time, a photo of Wanda doing a mirror selfie, giving him a view of basically everything. Her lips were curled up in a smile, and she had her free hand up in the universal peace sign.


Come over, Steven. I’ll show you so much more.


How the man didn’t yank his door right off its hinges in his haste to get out of his room was anyone’s guess. Perhaps the door-preservation gods were feeling generous today.



He didn’t bother to knock this time.


To be fair, Wanda didn’t really care, because when the door swung open in a dramatic toss that would’ve left an overly annoying anal-retentive CEO named Harold Tassiter scrambling for a notepad, she knew that Steve had arrived.


Physically. Not sexually, which was good. She wanted to make him arrive on her own terms.


Steve strode into the room and slammed the door shut behind him, closing the distance between Wanda within seconds. The Sokovian was seated pristinely at her desk, and save for the fact she was naked, it would’ve seemed so...innocuous.


“Would you like to play, Steven?” She asked.


The strong pair of arms that lifted her out of her seat and pushed her against the wall said it all, she decided, just before Steve’s lips pressed against hers. It was rough, a bit hard, actually, and she liked it. The supersoldier was taking what he wanted, just as Wanda desired, and were it for the fact that he was clothed, he probably would have literally taken her right there.


After a long moment spent passionately kissing her, Steve seemed to remember that of the two of them, only one was naked, and decided that it was time to correct that. Carefully letting her free, Steve took a step back, making to remove his clothes, only for Wanda to reach out and touch his arm, stopping him cold.


“Ah ah. Let me.” She said, grasping the fabric of his shirt and lifting it upwards and free of his body, tossing it aside with nary a care where it landed. Taking a moment to admire his exposed torso, she set to undoing his pants, opting to use her psionics to handle the complexities of menswear. Belts and buckles and zippers puzzled her. Skirts were so much easier to use, just pull on and off and go.


Not that she was wearing one, but this was more of a philosophical line of thought, conveniently interrupted by Steve’s pants, and the boxers with them, dropping to the floor like Tony after too many chocolate-covered sprinkled glazed cream-filled donuts, leaving the supersoldier in the buff, just as she was. Tilting her head, Wanda gave him a smile. “Now we can play.” She said, and, with a wave of her hand, psionic restraints appeared out of nowhere and held him firmly in place.


“Wanda?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.


“Indulge my curiosity.” She replied, getting down on her knees and taking his cock in her hands. Drawing closer, mouth open slightly, her tongue flicked out and took an experimental lick across the tip of the shaft. Steve’s breath hitched, spine stiffening. Thusly satisfied with the reaction the brief moment of contact drew out of Steve, Wanda’s lips parted and she took his cock into her mouth.


Steve gasped and went still, and Wanda began to move her mouth, using her hand to stroke the base of his cock. Her tongue swirled around his length, drawing soft, unrestrained moans from the bound supersoldier. The restraint around his hips kept him from thrusting forward, which was just as well, Wanda wanted to do this at her own pace.


Using her free hand to gently fondle Steve’s balls, Wanda continued to lick and suck at Steve’s cock, delighting in the noises that he made. Her leader was enjoying himself, she could feel his delight rolling off of him in waves. His mind was a bit of a mess, and she could sense that his self-control had long since slipped away.


Looking down at the sight of Wanda, on her knees, taking his cock in her mouth, Steve could feel his heart and mind going at a million miles an hour. Fantasizing about this kind of act was one thing, but to have it actually happen...well, to say the blonde was in heaven would’ve been some kind of an understatement.


“Keep going, doll.” He said, giving Wanda an encouraging smile, not that the hazel-eyed woman needed any encouraging. She took to her task with relish, clearly enjoying herself. Her fingers did their work, continuing to pump and fondle as necessary, and Steve found himself moaning freely, uncaring about anything other than Wanda. A thought about coming in her mouth sparked in his mind, and he had to admit, the visual of Wanda’s mouth, dripping with his cum was rather attractive.


“I can help with that thought.” Wanda said offhandedly, pulling away from his cock. “In my mouth, huh?” Her accent shone through in her sentence, and she reached out and gently kissed the tip of his cock. “I like that idea.” With that, she resumed her work. Swirling her tongue just a bit more around the tip, her hands began to move a bit faster.


Caught up in her reverie, she almost didn’t hear Steve speak, though the sensation of him stiffening caught her attention. “Wanda-” Steve bit out, and a cursory glance into his mind let her know that he was about to cum. She remained where she was, continuing to work his cock, until his length twitched and the first sticky rope of cum landed in her mouth.


She moaned, finding the taste to be surprisingly pleasant. She relished in the way Steve’s cock twitched in the hold of her lips, each movement sending another shot of cum to coat her mouth and tongue. She swallowed, enjoying herself quite a bit as she made Steve finish inside her mouth.


Pulling back, the hazel-eyed woman opened her mouth, letting Steve see the work he’d done. Cum dripped out of her mouth and coated her tongue, and she looked quite pleased, given the look in her eyes.


“Wanda, that was-” Raising a finger to silence him, Wanda pulled back, summoned her phone with a burst of psionic energy and held it just above her. Concentrating a little harder, she opened up the camera and snapped a few photos, sending her phone back to its rightful place a moment later.


“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind having something tangible for later.” She said, standing up and letting the psionic restraints around him vanish. “I know you’re an imaginative man, but need something a little more real.”


“Read my mind, doll.” Steve said, leaning forward and pressing his lips to her cheek. “I’m gonna treasure those photos.”


“You better!” Wanda replied, giving him a little smile and swallowing the last of his cum. “Now that I’ve had my fun...what would you like to do?”

Steve cast a look at the wall, and Wanda caught on pretty quickly about what he wanted.


“That sounds like a fun idea.” She said, and in the span of a two seconds, which is the exact amount of time required to beat the shit out of an overly touchy lawn gnome named Tad, Wanda found herself pinned against the wall. Steve’s hands pushed against her shoulders, holding her gently, but firmly against it, and he positioned his cock at the entrance to her tight, wet heat.


“May I?” He asked.


Wanda’s hands went to his back, pulling him closer. “Do you even need to ask?” She replied, deliberately letting her accent through with her words. A moment later, she felt Steve’s cock push into her cunt, and she rewarded him with a long, drawn out moan. “Oh, Stevie.” She murmured, feeling him begin to thrust. His hands drifted away from her shoulders and down to her hips, thumbs brushing along the length of the region.


“Let me take over.” Steve said, when Wanda made to reciprocate his thrusts with ones of her own. “You did enough for me, let me do this for you.” His eyes shimmered with something closer to the affection she’d sensed in the undercurrents of his mind, and she found herself obliging, relaxing into his touch.


It was blissful. She liked that.


Wanda’s cunt felt amazing. The tight, wet heat that was her pussy drove Steve wild. He strove ever onwards, each thrust knocking another moan out of the Sokovian. His hands slipped upwards, finding Wanda’s breasts and tracing lines across them, thumbs gently coming to rest against her nipples.


“You’re so perfect.” He murmured, pressing his lips to her own. “I could spend the rest of eternity doing this with you.” He added, once he’d broken the kiss to bring his lips downwards and to the open space of her neck.


“Don’t you mean all day?” Wanda asked, a little teasing smile creeping across her face.


“Same thing.” He said. His arms slipped down to her legs, gently lifting her upwards. With her using her hands to hold onto his back, Steve upped his tempo, uncaring of the fact that each one of his thrusts caused an audible thump. Wanda didn’t seem to mind either, going by the moans that tumbled from her lips.


Wanda’s back arched, and the Sokovian’s breathing began to quicken. “Steve, I’m getting close-” She gasped, and her hands left his back, being replaced with a psionic film that helped keep them steady. Her fingers went up to his temple, and reddish energy began to spark from her digits.


Oh, Steven-


Cum for me, Wanda.


A second later, the Sokovian lost herself and came. Her cunt pulsed once, twice, and she gave into her orgasm, moaning freely as she peaked. Sensation flowed across her body as easily as water flowed through a riverbed, overwhelming her skin, her nerves, even her mind. The world slipped away, there was nothing except for her and Steve.  


Her feelings of pleasure rode the conduit of her psionics and poured into Steve’s mind, immediately pulling him into an orgasm of his own. With the last little bit of self-control he had, Steve leaned forward and kissed Wanda, who pulled at him greedily, wanting more and more.


The sensation of his twitching cock, spilling cum into her with every pulse, drove Wanda wild. She could feel Steve’s pleasure, the way he lost control of his rhythm as he gave into his orgasm and lost himself inside of her. She loved it, every second of it, moaning and gasping, being brought to the very height of pleasure in the arms of her newfound lover.


When Steve came back to awareness, he found himself looking into Wanda’s eyes. Her hazel orbs shone with satisfaction, the afterglow of psionics...and something more. Something real and meaningful.


“You...I heard you. In my mind.” She said, looking surprised and hopeful and joyful all at once. “I don’t believe it. We...we can...” Steve pressed a finger to her lips, and a moment afterwards, his forehead connected with hers.


So that’s what this was. He said, well, thought, more like.


Yes, that’s exactly it! Wanda responded, soundeding happy.


Seems pretty cool. Steve responded.


We...we’ve bonded. Wanda thought, reaching out and touching Steve’s cheeks, feeling emotions well up inside of her. Steve seemed to sense it too, because his other hand came out to touch her cheek. I...I wasn’t expecting this to happen. How is this even working? Is-


Hey...hey. It’s okay. He sent along their connection, and she caught the emotions of reassurance and his familiar, steadying presence. We’ll figure it out. Together.


Wanda smiled, gazing into Steve’s eyes, feeling content. Yes. Together.


They stayed like that for a little while, just basking in each other’s presence. She felt Steve exploring her mind, stretching his metaphorical wings and attempting to get used to the sensations. They traded words, emotions, thoughts, and, with a little bit of testing, sensation.


Speaking of sensation, somewhere in the back of her head, Wanda felt the familiar feeling of arousal, returning to her bones. You up for another round? Steve asked, and she felt him shift, and the sensation of eagerness filled her mind.


The bed this time, please.


He was only too happy to oblige her.



“Now that’s a quality foreign outreach program.” Bucky said, perched up in a tree, watching through a pair of binoculars as Steve and Wanda went for round three.


“This has gotta be illegal somewhere.” Sam responded.


“Come on, making sure Steve’s safe and sound while he’s finally losing his virginity to a super hot woman? That’s gotta be like a public service. They’ll probably pin medals on our chests for it.” Bucky responded, sounding way too happy for a guy watching his best friend get it on. "I can see it now, Pornhub sponsors a big ticker-tape parade in D.C. to celebrate Cap losing his virginity, and they'll declare today a national holiday! It'll be so much fun!"


Sam sighed. Loudly.




I can't be too cool in a tree with my pants down

The air is cold and I've got splinters in my feet

She caught me once, but I don't think that she cares now

Unlike before, her view is now blocked by a leaf

I wish she'd be more kind now

I'm out of luck 'cause the shades are pulled down

I've seen everything there is to be shown

- Tom DeLonge