‘She tastes like cigarettes.
Hearing that may sound… kind of gross, and yeah, I kind of thought so too in the beginning.
But… now, It’s different. A lot different. The scent of smoke that clings to her clothes is a comfort more than anything else- mixing with whatever she normally smells like and embedding it into the fabric. I like to curl up in her jacket when I can’t be with her on patrols. It makes the separation easier. We’ve only known each other for… what, a year and a half? But it feels like she’s been by my side my entire life, that taste of tobacco on the tip of my tongue whenever we’re in the same room.’
Miki taps her pencil against her notebook for a moment, trying to put her feeling into words for the billionth time since she’d been writing in it. After all, what would be the point of recording their lives if she didn’t put all her heart into it? At least, that’s what Yuki would say, if she knew about this journal of hers.
‘She first started a few months ago. She’d found a bunch of packs in a drugstore we were raiding for Sino’s prenatal vitamins, and something about them just… called out to her. My parents had always alerted me of the dangers of smoking, but I guess you don’t really have to worry about the side effects when you think about how you might not even be around to experience them in the future. That’s how Kurumi felt, at least.’
Yeah, she could remember that moment clear as day.
‘Ya got nothin’ to worry about’,
Kurumi had huffed, scrambling around the store for a lighter.
‘Besides, what’s it gonna do, kill me? In 30 years?’
She’d had a point, though Miki didn’t join her. Something about her moral code, she guessed. She’d tried to get Kurumi to put them down before she’d gotten herself addicted, but… something about it looked good between her lips, as horrible as that sounded.
‘ Kurumi never meant for it to be a full-time thing- just something for her to screw around with at first, to ‘stick it to the man’ now that the man was gone. It didn’t stop there, though… she grew dependant in a way. She was never needy about them- she smoked when she could, though there were times when we couldn’t find any and she’d get irritable. However, she did her best to not let anyone else know about them. Started carrying around a lavender scented spray for her clothes, and never smoked in front of anyone on campus. After Sino’s baby was born, she tried to quit, scared he’d suffer that ‘second-hand smoke’ thing if she got too close to his nursery window, but in the end, she just started to smoke farther and farther from the dorms.’
Miki recalled how Kurumi had tried to open a jar of pickles, and ended up smashing the lid off with her shovel after 7 unsuccessful attempts. She was quick to anger those few weeks, luckily in a more comical sense. Miki as saddened when she found her by a bench outside lighting one up, but didn’t say anything about it.
‘They helped her cope- they took the edge off. She’d done so much to keep us alive, to go on supply runs and kill monsters disguised as humans. It… does things to a person. Who was I to take that away? It’s not my place to say. It didn’t stop me from worrying though, and still doesn’t- though I guess you could say the new nicotine based additions weren’t all bad. It’s such a selfish thing, my desire, but God, can you blame me?’
Shivers crept down Miki’s spine while she reminisced about how it felt to kiss Kurumi on the couch the day before- seated comfortably in her lap as she explored the smokey flavor of her lips, and quite frankly, Miki wasn’t at all displeased with it. Though, she supposed the journal didn’t need to know all the dirty details about their frisky escapades. A deep blush began to rise to her cheeks as she scratched out the last sentence.
‘So, yes, she tastes like Cigarettes. Her kisses burn, and the dim glow the white sticks emit in the darkest of nights is oddly poetic in a way. So, whoever's reading this… do I condone smoking? No way, no how. Do I like that the girl I love is punishing her body like this? Not at all. Are there a few aspects about it that make my heart race until I can bear it no longer? Until the need to touch her outweighs all rationality? Until the fire in my soul is quenched?
Hopefully, cigarettes won’t be around, wherever you are. They’re a nasty habit, you know.’